Vol. 3, Issue 6
The Black Sheep The College Newspaper That's Actually About College
f Wh ree...l en I si ike ba p, y ou ckwa sip sh. we sip !
10/31/13 - 11/13/13
Clemson Student Takes His Own (Single) Life BY: Dan Collins matter how tragically short he decided to end it.
After being unable to obtain a single hookup who would put up with his drunken shenanigans throughout the fall, and with the threat of winter looming, junior Will Carlson has decided to put an end to his own single life. The decision to enter into a relationship has come as a shock to those close to Carlson, who reportedly had “no idea” his situation had become so dire.
According to his friends, independent Will was one the most fun-loving people you could ever hope to meet. “[He] was always down to get drunk,” recalls former classmate Chris Abraham. “One time during finals week, we said fuck finals and went to “The Elite” instead. He convinced the Carlson felt like a man who had “run out cab driver to let us bring a keg in the cab, of options,” according to a note he left and we tried to drink the whole thing, just the two of us, behind, along inside the strip with some tokens of his “I just wish he would have told me club. We got independent before he went and did it. I think I so drunk that I missed my life, including his collection would have been able to stop him. final the next of koozies , a I mean, I know plenty of easy girls day, and I had to drop out mystery key he used only he could have hooked up with and of Clemson… but it was tofor shotgunnever called again.” tally worth it.” ning beers, and “the pants;” all of which he would obviously no Roommate Jimmy Thompson rememlonger need. “I just wish he would have bers Carlson similarly. “Any time you were told me before he went and did it,” said around him was bound to be a fun time. close friend James Rogers. “I think if I had He would get drunk and embarrass himonly known, I would have been able to self every weekend, but do you think that stop him. I mean, I know plenty of slutty affected him? No. He would come back, girls he could have hooked up with and get just as drunk, and embarrass himself all over again. He used to hide in bushes never called again.” during parties, get completely naked, and While it is important to take time to mourn then run out and tackle someone. No one the death of independent Will, it is also thought it was really funny except for him, important to celebrate his single life, no but he didn’t care. Sometimes he wouldn’t
page 6
even make it home he’d be so drunk. He would walk halfway there and just pass out wherever he happened to be. One time, he woke up on a park bench in front of a church. That probably should have sent him some sort of message.” “I just can’t help but think I should have seen this coming,” said friend Brett Weaver. “In fact, I can’t remember a time where he didn’t completely embarrass himself trying to talk to a girl. It was my favorite thing about him. You could go up to the
girl he had been talking to and any fully formed thought sounded like Shakespeare in comparison. It was almost as funny as it was pathetic. So how could you really blame him for sacrificing his independent life for the first girl who wasn’t completely repulsed by him? You know, for most people, girls are like buses; you miss one and another will be along in 15 minutes. But for Will, they’re like buses in another way; there’s only one, and she’s literally like a bus.”
page 6
While it is sad to see independent Will go, at least we know he is in a better place now. “I just hope that relationship Will can become a better man,” said Rogers. “Obviously, a much less fun man, but better. I would have hoped independent Will and relationship Will could coexist, but of course, a Will divided against itself cannot stand.” When asked about the death of his former self, relationship Will responded, “She says she’s my girlfriend? And that we’re in a relationship? Is that why she won’t leave my apartment? Shit.”
page 12
Just Say No
The Top 10
Bartender of the week
How to avoid the Mountain Weekend Hookup.
Ways to Succumb to Your Crippling College Debt
Shane from Tiger Town Tavern gets a little turned on by hummingbirds.
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The
Top
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Ways to Succumb to Your Crippling College Debt By: black sheep staff
Just Say No:
The Mountain Weekend Hookup By: Courtney Paul Mountain weekend: an event in which fraternities, disguised as “church groups,” head to cheap cabins nestled in a rundown mountain range town with the intention of consuming inordinate amounts of alcohol in the presence of brothers and carefully chosen young college women. Free booze, (mostly) free men, and a free trip to the mountains sounds like a dream come true for any gal. That is, until she is greeted with the expectation of a hookup roughly 49 minutes into the vacation. As educated, independent women, it is time to stand up against the wild degradation of women into sex objects, not just for us, but for the benefit of society as a whole. And by that we clearly mean it is time to formulate the new excuse you’re going to use to avoid swapping bodily fluids with the weird legacy your friend set you up with. Damn legacies.
impropriety. Not a single one. “I’m just really emotional right now.”: This particular excuse must be paired with a tragic occurrence, such as a death in the extended family or the bitch that is dirty little-ing your rush crush. Tears will help. Swollen eyes are really just not your look. “It’s that time of the month.”: Yes, it will be uncomfortable, but it won’t be ineffective. And now you can place that entire bag of chips you ate or that bitchy comment you hurled at an innocent earlier in the day under the guise of PMS.
Here’s are lucky seven excuses:
“I have a boyfriend.”: Use caution with this excuse, seeing as you’ll lose the invite to beach weekend as soon as he greets the unwelcome mental image of you housing another male every night. Then again, if you’re comfortable feigning a relationship, you can feign a corresponding breakup once you’re in the clear. So manipulative smart.
“My friend is, like, really, really sick.”: Honestly, she probably is. And if she isn’t, go ahead and insist she chug that cheap bottle of champagne that you may or may not have spiked with Taaka. Who are you to leave her lying on the cold, hard tiles of the bathroom floor? After all, you have the heart of a servant.
“I have a headache.”: It’s simple, straightforward, and believable, considering you’ve been dealing with man fights, the loud crashes of furniture breaking, and, of course, the even better girl fights. If your guy retorts with a suggestive, “Let me fix that,” and a wink, then you’ve got bigger problems than we care to address.
“I’m a virgin.”: Doesn’t matter if it’s true. Doesn’t matter if it isn’t. Your date will flee before you can even ask if it will hurt.
So, now, as a better educated, independent woman, you can march into mountain weekend confidently, even once that 49-minute mark hits and your date exposes his thirst for more than just another beer. Just whip out your favorite of the lucky seven. You can handle him.
“Where am I? Who are you? Whaaaa…”: Acting as if you have reached a near-death, unparalleled level of intoxication is the perfect way to steer your date toward the bottle as opposed to your body. No boy wants to wake up to accusations of
06
Even if he’s the ugly legacy.
Most of us have to face this reality: we’re going to be paying for our college debt for the rest of our lives. It’s cool, everybody does it. Nothing to be alarmed about. But you should go into this knowing that, once you pick a school, you’re just another cash cow in the herd. Perhaps it’s best to just give in and never have to worry about paying those bills. At least, that’s what we think, and so we’ve made this list for you. It’s a list that teaches you how to truly succumb to your college debt, giving you the ability to owe them money forever. 10.) Find a Nice Corner to Cry in: You’re gonna want a good, 90 degree corner if you can get it; a clean right angle. Optimal weeping location. While you bawl, it would be even better if you could surround yourself with useless college memorabilia, i.e. the ridiculous $25 hat you wore to, like, one football game, your Guy Harvey shirts, and that sweet lanyard you got as a freshman. 9.) Collect Cats: ‘Cause when you’re surrounded by cats, you’re no longer the worst thing in the room. Sure, maybe all that money you owe the institutions is bringing you down, but at least you’re not as bad as cats. That should cheer you up a bit. Remember, those cats ain’t paying the bills. No, no, no, you pay the cats. What with the housing, food, and funny mice being thrown their way, that’s money not being spent paying off your college debt! And the cats won’t ever thank you. They truly believe they are better than you. Your goal of never paying off your loans just got a little bit easier. 8.) Start a Family: Similar to #9, but instead of just dragging cats down with you into that dark, moneyless pit, you’re actually bringing along fellow human beings! Like the things with dreams and aspirations and stuff – you know, the stuff you had before college debt. We’d recommend not bringing others into this world solely so they could inherit your massive debt, but everybody has their vices. No judgment here. 7.) Burn All Your Money: Yep, never gonna pay off that college now, but we all know that wasn’t going to happen anyway. This was the best use of that money. Super cathartic. 6.) Get Addicted to Häagen-Dazs®: Ice cream is the ultimate comfort food. Fake Danish ice cream is basically rapture. Take advantage of the stupid amount of money you don’t have and plunge yourself further into debt. Buy some ice cream and get gorging. You’ll simultaneously feel like absolute garbage and the idea of hedonism condensed into a human shape. 5.) Acquire a Taste for Simple Plan: An anthemic rendition of “I’m just a kid, I know that it’s not fair!” will do wonders for you. And then remind you of the unfeeling, remorseless environment that is the world. Thanks, Pierre. 4.) Embrace Nihilism: Nihilism, the philosophy that defined a generation, is going to help you through these trying times. Well, not really. Nihilism does a very good job of just letting you ignore certain responsibilities. Say someone confronted you for not paying back your loans. You could just retort that the morality attached with paying certain dues is a futile construct of man’s inherent greed. Duh. This wouldn’t do anything about the debt, but you’d be that much crazier. 3.) Tell Everyone You Know that College Is for Suckers: Like in those cigarette ads. “Don’t make the same mistakes I did, kid,” you’d say. “School ruined me for the rest of my life. Stick to your music career.” 2.) Apply for Grad School: Well, now you’ve gone and done it. Way to get yourself back into the loop. At this point, the college has really won. You can just imagine them wringing their hands together, like flies around a money carcass. The flow of revenue you’d be providing them will be stupendous. 1.) Sleep: Forever. Sleep doesn’t judge you. Sleep is your friend. If you sleep enough, perhaps the debt will go away. Yeah. Yeah, maybe. But no. No way it’s that easy. And you’re in for a rude awakening.
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An Open Letter
on the Streets
on the Weather Appropriate Dressing
If you could be in any movie scene, which would it be and who would you replace? Kemper
“I would definitely replace Kate Hudson in the moped scene of How To Lose a Guy in Ten Days.”
Michael
By: hashtagrat Dear Clemson Girls, Hey, sloots, it’s time we had a chat. As long as clocks have ticked, winds have blown, and girls have hooked up with randoms because daddy took a lot of business trips, college girls have thrown appropriate clothing to the wind. With each October erupting in saffron and vermillion leaves, the ladies take the seasonal transition too. While Clemson weather is managing its bipolar tendencies at best and throwing massive temperature tantrums where no outfit is safe at worst, the campus is still about as “confused,” clothing wise, as a bro struggling with the fact that he accidentally made out with a dude last weekend and really, really liked it. While fall is certainly a transitory period, it seems like the girls of Tigertown don’t really seem to understand how to lose the Tory sandals and switch to the Tory boots. Clemson has an aspirational dressing problem: we dress for the season we want, not the season we have. This lack of weather-appropriate dressing gathers strength over the course of the fall, hitting Clemson like a huge, tacky hurricane come wintertime, when freshmen girls trot out from their dorms into pledge rides wearing the body-con skirt that you saw at Entourage last week and neglected purchasing, considering that it barely covered your ass. Yes, that skirt. In 30 degree weather. With no tights or boots. We need to have a talk, and a serious one. Ladies, it’s just not practical. Unless you’re one of the golden children who somehow manages to jump in a pledge ride (and NOT into a truck bed), spend the whole party inside, and get right into a car home, you’re going to actually freeze to death. If you’re masochistic enough to relish developing frostbite on your more delicate areas, leave some of your freaky predilection for pain to mystery, so that some equally
freaky suitor can enjoy your penchant for weird, painful activities in the privacy of his home. If that’s your jam, work it, baby girl. Regardless, keep in mind that a body-con skirt in the wintertime might as well be a target that says, “Hit here for easy ass!” To quote on particularly charming Clemson fraternity gentleman, “Not that I mind, but pretty much every girl who comes through our house is dressed like a damn slut.” On the Clemdawg fraternity scene, skanky dressing is the norm. However, when it hits below freezing in the evening, the same skirt that you rocked at Fall Rush Blowout begins to look a bit ridic. And while normally we’d advocate trashiness in all of its effervescent, intoxicated forms, practicality is key when you want to avoid exuding thirstiness or looking like a complete noob. As it gets chillier, cleavage is key. You can attract many a one-night suitor while still wearing pants or tights, homegirls: just utilize the cleave. That way, you can still quench the thirst without looking like you’re blatantly seeking a new bed to sleep in that night, maintaining the illusion that your shacking endeavors are spontaneous and carefree, not that you spent well over two hours trying to perfect your Russian mail order bride impression. So, as you pull out your Fourth of July outfit for your early-November The Dukes of Hazzard mixer, keep in mind that aspirational dressing is one easy-peasy way to peg yourself as a total try-hard. On that note, save a nice thick sweater for that Pike lodge blowout next semester that you were going to wear your slinkiest dress to; trust us, you’ll thank us later. Yours in unsolicited advice, #srat
“In Gladiator, where Russell Crowe kills the emperor.”
Olivia
“In My Cousin Vinny, when they’re in the courtroom and the fiancée talks about holy water.”
07
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The Black Sheep’s Guide to the 2014
By :B & r qu e in nd n an
it
Yo H h e er a u e rd
fi rs t!
TOURNAMENT Whew! What a season it’s been! It seemed like just yesterday we were tipping off the 2013-2014 NCAA Men’s Basketball season with a November 8th slate that saw 138 games pitting the nation’s finest young men against each other. The first night’s go-round immediately became the stuff of legend. How could we forget (insert name)’s stellar performance in an unexpected victory over (insert Nov. 8th upset)? Ah, but that was just the first iconic moment in a season that’ll go down in history as one of college basketball’s best ever. And while those early-season games count, it’s important to look at the recently-ended conference tournaments when filling out your brackets in time for March 18th tip-off in bucolic Dayton, Ohio. Heading into the season sports pundits nationwide considered Michigan State the cream of the Big Ten crop, but with their narrow (win/loss) to cellar dweller (Big Ten school) last Sunday in Indianapolis, is this team coming into the Big Dance as frigid as Michigan’s recently-turned winter, or as hot as (female celebrity)’s latest antics? We say it’s safe to plug Michigan State into your elite eight, but be careful, because if things break like The Black Sheep thinks they will, they’ll be facing a hot (mid-major) team that’s been able to smell the blood in the water for these past three months. Now, we’re not saying we see (mid-major) taking down a well-equipped Spartans squad, but if (mid-major) can put up a gutsy fight midway through the second half, (small school)’s shocking upset of (top-5 team) earlier this year shows just about anything can happen in the waning seconds of a college basketball game. But with Michigan State stronger than it’s been in years, the rest of the Big Ten took a step back this year, with only (number) teams ranked in the national top 25 by season’s end. That’s why we turn to Kentucky, Kansas and surprise top-10 team Kansas State when looking at this year’s true title contenders. The KKK Klan, as The Black Sheep has begun calling them, has taken the nation by storm in different ways. John Calipari’s Wildcat krew has white washed opponents’ defense with a fast-paced offense run through (Kentucky player), while Bill Self’s Kansas squad has rallied around (Kansas player’s) season-ending (body part) injury, rattling off (number) straight wins after his year came to a close as he was carted off during the (date) game against (opponent). Yes, these teams have proven they were on a whole ‘nother level — as if they were a superior group of humans out there on the court, forcing the other players into submission.
The Black Sheep predicts the
2014 NCAA All Americans: The real surprise of the season, of course, was Bruce Weber’s Kansas State squad. Unranked at the beginning of the year, these KSU Wildcats have built a reputation as one of the nation’s nastiest teams, starting with their early-season dismantling of (ranked team) in front of a national audience. Sure, (date) and (date) missteps against soft teams (soft team) and (soft team), respectively, leave room for doubt, but no one in Manhattan, Kansas is doubting this squad. Have no hesitation when penciling them in to your sweet sixteen. And though there are clear lottery picks on stacked big-conference teams, how could we leave out the stellar performances put on by (Pacific northwest school)’s scrappy, three-point gunning, defense-savvy point guard, (name)? This (Canadian city)-born tiny tyrant’s scrappy skill set may inevitably fizzle out in the NBA, but don’t think for a second his high basketball IQ, unmatched hustle, and all-American smile won’t gutsy his team to the third weekend of the tournament. He’s dragged his team this far on sheer willpower, and there’s no reason to think he can’t do it again. While Virginia Commonwealth University has been the nation’s darling for the past several seasons, the midseason brawl between coach Shaka Smart and broadcaster (name) that left the booth man hospitalized and the coach suspended indefinitely will surely hurt the Rams’ chances at postseason success. While college basketball fans are divided as to who to blame for the fight, we’ll never forget Coach Smart’s post-fight speech in which he called (name) a “money grubbing, walking penis who knows nothing about basketball.” Barring reinstatement by the university, consider VCU a one-and-done. Of course, we’d be remiss not to mention the (date) tragedy that saw a hot (school) team lose its entire squad and coaching staff in a horrific plane crash just outside of the Charlotte Douglas International Airport. The nation watched as (team)’s plane slam dunked onto the runway instead of on the court. Just when they were playing their best basketball, too. A wracked fanbase and devastated families will never know what kind of high-flying hoopin’ the nation missed out on. National Championship chances don’t come around every day, and you’d hate to miss out on one due to something like this. The Black Sheep will be the first to tell you that a lot can change between Tournament tip-off and the National Championship trophy hoisted high by one team on April 7th in Arlington, Texas. Just know it’s going to be crazy, and you heard it here first.
First Team: G: Last Name, First (School) G: Last Name, First (School) F: Last Name, First (School) F: Last Name, First (School)-Deceased F: Last Name, First (School)
Second Team: G: Last Name, First (School) G: Last Name, First (School) F: Last Name, First (School) F: Last Name, First (School) F: Last Name, First (School)
Third Team: G: Last Name, First (School) G: Last Name, First (School)-Deceased F: Last Name, First (School) F: Last Name, First (School) F: Last Name, First (School)
Bartender of the Week Relationship Status: In a relationship Major: Horticulture Favorite Drink: White Russian Favorite Shot: Rumple Minze Disgusting Drink: Midori sour A child’s laughter makes you…: Giggle. What’s the worst movie you’ve ever seen?: The Adventures of Pluto Nash How would you spend $1 million in pennies?: I’d throw them in a fountain and make lots of wishes.
Shane of Tiger Town Tavern Drinking Game
If you had to have a nickname that involved a piece of fruit, what would your nickname be?: “Juicy Juice” What was the most embarrassing thing you did in grade school?: Tripped at a school performance concert running on stage. If it wasn’t you, then who was it?: It was me. Why should people read The Black Sheep?: Because it’s better than The Tiger!
Recipe for disaster
Pigskins and Puke
Day of the Dead Deep Fry
With football in full swing, everyone’s weekends are filled with television and cases of Bud Light. Sometimes sitting on your ass all day can get a little boring, so here’s a game to play while watching your team of choice with your buddies.
Even if your trick-or-treating days are over, you’re still bound to stock up on candy on Halloween. After a few days of gorging on the sweet stuff, even the comfort of a Snickers bar becomes mediocre. Here’s a way to add a unique crunch to your Halloween candy.
What You’ll Need: A table, a piece of paper, 20 red cups, 4 pencils, paper and pen to keep score, and some beers (duh). Number of Players: Teams of two, and any hot female friends you have to be cheerleaders. Level of Intoxication: Men don’t puke from a few beers, jeeze.
What You’ll Need: A variety of fun-size candy bars, 1 egg, 1 cup of milk, 1 tablespoon of canola oil, 1 cup flour, 1 teaspoon baking powder, and 4 cups of bubbling oil for deep fried goodness. Cook Time: 15 minutes Fatty Factor: Your time at the gym this semester will be wasted on just one of these.
How to Play: - Two teams stand at opposite ends of the table, with your partner at your side. - Each team takes 10 cups and sets them up like a normal pong game. - Fold the piece of paper into a football like you always did every day in middle school. - One team starts by flicking the football at the cups at the other end of the table. The goal is to either land the football inside the cup or knock one off the table. Once this happens, that team is awarded 6 points. - After a touchdown is scored, the opponents lay down two pencils on the table as goalposts. They can be as close or as far apart as they want (minimum 2 inches apart to be fair). The scoring team has one chance to flick their football to land between the pencils. If they can do so, they earn another point. - The team who was just scored on now has to drink. If the extra point was missed, drink for 6 seconds. If the extra point was made, finish your beer. - Keep playing until all the cups on both sides are gone, removing cups pong-style after someone makes a cup or knocks it off the table. The Game Ends When: All the cups are gone! Add up the points to see who wins.
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What is nature’s sexiest animal?: The hummingbird.
What’s the stupidest thing you’ve bought off the internet?: Snoreguard head gear mask-looking thing to keep me from snoring. It’s stupid because it doesn’t even work.
Let’s Get Baked: - Freeze your candy bars for a few hours. - Combine the egg, milk and canola oil in a bowl. - In another bowl, combine flour and baking powder. - Pour the wet ingredients into the dry and whisk. Cover and refrigerate for a few minutes. - Heat the 4 cups of oil to 375 degrees in a deep, heavy pot. - Dip the frozen candy bars into the batter then carefully place into the oil. - Cook until golden brown, drain on paper towels and let cool a little bit before stuffing your face. Don’t just stop at candy either. Try Oreos, Twinkies, steaks, leftover pizza. Anything you have.
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Avoiding the “Anon” accounts on Twitter By: Clemsonbab The Twitter craze on Clemson’s campus has been booming the past two semesters, so much so that it’s beginning to invade the privacy of students going about their daily lives. You can’t even eat a damn banana in Schilletter without living in fear that later on you will find a rather unattractive picture of yourself on Twitter practically Crocodile Dundee-ing Paul Hogan’s yellow python with your mouth, if you get what we’re saying. So how the hell do we avoid being exposed via embarrassing candids taken and sent to these “anon” Twitter accounts with no concern for the privacy of others? Don’t worry; The Black Sheep has got some helpful tips for you to avoid public social media humiliation. Avoiding @ClemsonMakeOuts: This account can be very exposing, very humiliating, and very demeaning to your credibility as a classy Clemson student. Granted, random dance floor hook-ups are bound to happen, but don’t make that makeout sesh so trashy that everyone at the party is expecting you two to get it on right then and there. If you’re really feeling this dude and making out just isn’t going to cut it tonight, get a room. Take your sexcapades elsewhere, where no one can snap a picture of your classless hook-up. It’s not impressive to see your public party porno, but it’s hilarious when a picture of it is exposed to the Twitter world the next morning. Avoiding @ClemsonPassouts: Alright, we’ve all been “that guy” or “that girl” at the party who has had one too many shots of tequila, too many pitchers of Clemson Goodnight, and shot-gunned some nastyass Keystone Lights. Ultimately, we just can’t make it to a safe place to
call it a night, so we resort to just nodding off...anywhere. Know your limits. If you’re about to crash in the middle of the party, it’s not time for another shot, it’s time to go to bed. Get your sloppy ass a ride home before it’s nap time for all to see on the gross couch at the frat house. Another important tip: Take. Off. Your. Damn. Shoes. If you can’t find a ride home and can’t keep your eyes open, make sure those shoes are off so no one can royally fuck your face up with Sharpies. A picture of you passed out is not nearly as embarrassing as a picture of you passed out with a giant “I HEART FLOPPY DICK” sign across your forehead. Avoiding @clemsonbananas: Unless your mind is devoid of any sense of juvenile sexuality, anyone can find accounts dedicated to posting candid photos of random students eating penis-shaped foods amusing. But there are definitely ways to enjoy your banana without looking like an oblivious porn star. Just keep in the back of your mind that somewhere around you there’s a horny pervert ready to share your innocent act of deepthroating fruit with the world. Pick off a piece of the banana, eat it, then repeat. Otherwise, some perv in Harcombe is going to spot this and instantly send a picture of you basically blowing a banana... and no one looks classy doing that. Thanks to the wonderful invention of iPhones and Twitter, there’s always going to be that one guy who won’t hesitate to invade your privacy and send in that embarrassing photo. Rule of thumb: just be cautious of your actions when engaging in daily activities on campus, downtown, and at parties. Do this, and you’ll be golden. Your drunken banana-grabbing habits will be kept between you and the fridge.
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m.a.s.h. Best Man: - Louis C.K. - Tim Meadows - Andy Samberg - Nick Offerman
Signature Entree: - Chicken a la king - 7-layer salad - Tuna noodle casserole - Eggplant parmesan
Pulls a Prank by… - Making out with the bride. - Putting ecstasy in the punch. - Releasing 50 kittens onto the dance floor. - Throwing the cake out of the window.
With a Side of… - Dirt dessert - Tequila sunrises - Vegan cornbread - Xanax
Maid of Honor: - Aubrey Plaza - Ellen DeGeneres - Kristen Wiig - Fran Drescher
Cheesy Cover Band: - Dread Zeppelin - Mandonna - Nudist Priest - AC/Dshe
Highlight of her speech is… - Your threesome with a hooker. - Getting tattoos last night. - Doing coke with Bill Clinton. - Streaking in the cafeteria junior year.
Performing your first dance… - “Whatta Man” - “Frosty the Snowman” - “I Am The Walrus” - “C.R.E.A.M.”
LET US PREdict
your future How to Play: Doodle some lines on the page until someone, or your brain, tells you to stop. Take the number of lines and go down the list, and cross off every time you get to your number. Where there is one left in each catetory, that is your future. Yeah, you remember this from elementary school - don’t pretend like you don’t.
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Go Tigers! Crush UVa!