Volume 8
The Black Sheep The College Newspaper That's Actually About College
FRE som E! Lik e sl e sna eep gg in c ing lass ...
Issue 7
6 THINGS NOW FOUND IN THE CLEMSON GRAVEYARD Lindsay Heyman wrote this
It’s been quite some time since this May’s graduating seniors embarked on their journey here at Clemson. In their four years, they’ve seen the circle of life bring new things into the Clemson community while others are taken away. As the final graduating class to walk in Littlejohn prepare to assume their rightful places as alumni, now is the time for a little reminiscing about the way things were back in the bygone year of 2011. Here are 6 things that now rest in in the Clemson Graveyard. ePortfolio: This is one of the best changes anyone graduating could hope for. No longer do graduating seniors have to scrounge up a bullshit essay about how they’re competent in math, despite never taking a math class at Clemson. No more finding out the day of graduation whether or not you’re allowed to walk. The ePortfolio was the epitome of procrastination, and there’s not a day that goes by where the seniors aren’t ecstatic that it’s one less thing to deal with when they’re, you know, trying to get their real, adult lives in order. Clemson Crushes: Sure, technically the account still exists on Twitter, but people haven’t been able to wonder if they might actually be “Girl in Blue Shirt and Yoga Pants” since 2013. This short-lived fad has sadly become lost in obscurity. How many people actually found their secret admirers, we may never know. RIP.
mesh cubbies might not have been too jarring an experience. But, for those of you who had grown accustomed to the labyrinth of tables, the ability to have personal space was a little crazy. Too bad the cubicles did nothing to curb the dull roar of constant chitchat on the second floor. Farewell to you, old Cooper second floor. Hopefully in the afterlife you will become that which you always strove to be in life: a high school cafeteria.
a great oak gone too soon.
A second floor of Cooper without malaria nets: For any students relatively new to Clemson, walking into the second floor of the library the day they changed the layout from a sea of tables to individual
The Selfie Oak on Bowman: It was one of those trees you think would’ve withstood a hurricane, but one fateful day in 2013 it fell, forcing Clemson hipsters to take their hammocks elsewhere. As the hunt for a new tree with “roots that look perfectly outdoorsy in your Chaco-feet-selfie” continues, take a moment to remember the life of
Just as future students will never know the ePortfolio, Clemson Crushes, and the Selfie Oak on Bowman; they soon will not know the joy of walking in Death Valley’s stunted little sister, Littlejohn Coliseum. Old Clemson, you will be missed.
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CLASSES WE WISH THEY OFFERED AT CLEMSON
SIX RULES REGARDING YOUR REMAINING ABSENCES
THE QUIZ: WHAT SHOULD YOU CHANGE YOUR MAJOR TO NEXT YEAR?
FROM BASIC MEASURING 1010 TO HANGOVER CURES 2050, WE NEED THEM ALL!
OUR GUIDE TO MAKING IT THE REST OF THE WAY.
WE ANALYZE EVERY PART OF YOUR LIFE AND HELP YOU DECIDE!
Under $5 Cook-Out trays: Since when did Cook-Out trays breach the $5 mark? One day a tray cost $4.73 and the next it cost a staggering $5.11. This egregious crime robbed its customers of the joy of paying for a full meal with a single five-dollar bill. Now you have to add a dime and a penny. Cook-Out’s business hasn’t dropped due to this outrageous price increase, but paying for your cheap, cheap tray doesn’t give the same warm and fuzzy feeling it used to.
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APRIL 8TH, 2015 - APRIL 21ST, 2015
Littlejohn: It’s not gone yet, but it soon will be. Clemson’s class of 2015 will be the last one to walk and receive their diplomas in the Littlejohn Coliseum. It isn’t surprising that the Clemson we enrolled in isn’t the same Clemson we’re leaving, but getting to participate in one last Clemson tradition before that too changes must feel pretty good.
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