Clemson - Issue 7 - 11/13/2013 by The Black Sheep

The Black Sheep

f lau ree... gh like ove ge r yo t t i n ur g t mo he l rta as l en t em y.

Vol. 3, Issue 7

The College Newspaper That's Actually About College

11/14/13 - 11/27/13

A Fraternal Thanksgiving BY: Courtney Paul Thanksgiving brings age-old traditions that will continue down generations, spreading warmth and cheer to its many faithful patrons past and present. While many would argue that Thanksgiving only graces us once a year, we’d argue that for college students, Thanksgiving comes every weekend. Because what is a fraternity party if not a giant Thanksgiving? The Black Sheep presents to you the five golden rings of Thanksgiving at a fraternity party – so it’s a Christmas reference at Thanksgiving, as if you haven’t seen it before. Just go with it. The Spirit of Generosity: We all learned the story in grade school. The Native Americans shared a giant feast with those colonists from the Mayflower. Sure, later they all killed each other or something, but the theme of giving still stands. Consider yourselves the poor, famished colonists and the host brothers the Native Americans with their servant hearts. They share with you a cornucopia of Busch Light, the blessing of pledge transportation, and, of course, some love and respect on the dance floor. And as if that weren’t enough to be thankful for, weren’t the Native Americans half-naked? Truly blessed. The Parade: What is Thanksgiving without the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade? Every family loves to huddle around the television to see the spectacle of ostentatious costumes, fancy makeup, and, of course, the massive floats. The fraternity party scene offers a similar parade, as long as you’re willing to wait until morning. You’ll see girls in costume, girls with mascara and glitter streaming down their faces, and even girls walking in the stilts they wore last night, all headed for different parts of campus, from the Horseshoe to the Shoeboxes. But for your sake, we hope you don’t see any girls resembling floats. The Turkey Pardon: It’s a fun, lighthearted tradition for the President of the United States to pardon that special turkey from impending death. Likewise, we Clemsonites pardon each other from the variety of degrading embarrassments, losses of dignity, and general stupidity that occurs under the hallowed, sweat-covered halls of each house. So whatever you did, have done, and will do, fear not. You are pardoned. And hopefully from something a lot less severe than death and consumption by man. The Family Time: The epitome of Thanksgiving is family. The epitome of family is dysfunction. And the epitome of dysfunction lies somewhere on the sticky bathroom floors of every fraternity house across Pickens County.

page 6

Top 10 Things Clemsonites Aren’t Thankful For

But the one thing they are thankful for? Top shelf whiskey.

Just like a good ole Thanksgiving at home, any respectable fraternity party boasts the people you love, the people you hate, and those people that just don’t seem to belong – we’re looking at you, legacies.

Thanksgiving’s abundance of amazing sustenance in the form of alcohol. And, while it isn’t quite a food coma, that sustenance will knock you into a similar state of unconsciousness.

The Food: It’s everyone’s favorite part of the holiday. Young and old, thin and fat, hell, even Tiger and Gamecock, all people are tied in an unspoken bond created by food. And to any self-respecting college student, food is quickly replaced by alcohol. What would you rather enjoy: that box of last night’s Osaka or a few shots of Sake? A fraternity party offers you

So before you pack your bags in anticipation for the annual celebration that is Thanksgiving, show some appreciation for the Thanksgiving you experience here in Tigertown every weekend. After all, a Clemson fraternity Thanksgiving beats any lame family gathering, even considering Granny made apple pie.

pages 10 -11

page 13

We Interview: Todd Sklar

Girl unaware she ruins everyone’s good time

we talk with the Indie movie director about his latest film Awful Nice.

• Keep Up With Us! • @BlackSheep_CLEM • theblacksheeponline.com •

Her every interaction causes men to break down in tears.

Meet the Staff <<

campus manager Rebecka Talley

campus director Brendan Bonham

Editorial manager Courtney Paul

owner Atish Doshi

Advertising Managers Payton Shiver

Founders Atish Doshi, Brendan Bonham, Heather-Jo Erickson, Jimmy DeBlasio, Jessica Sommers, Quinn Myers

Writers Amanda Moore, Dan Collins Claire Johnson, Amanda Hoefer Social media manager Courtney Merlo Marketing TEAM Michelle Dubiel

Questions? info@theblacksheeponline.com

Owned & Operated By: Black Card Media, LLC 2130 W. Potomac Avenue Suite 1, Chicago, Illinois 60622 Contact Corporate: 217.390-1747 For Advertising: 608.712.0900

Disclaimer: The Black Sheep in no way promotes, encourages or supports binge drinking, and/or under-age drinking. This newspaper is designed for entertainment purposes only and does not recommend attempting anything printed in this publication.

Advertising? ads@theblacksheeponline.com Hate Us? lame@theblacksheeponline.com

Please drink...responsibly and legally.

looking for an internship? Marketing, Ad Sales, Writing, and more! Get experience doing something you love!

Apply online today! theblacksheeponline.com

Tweet Us @BlackSheep_CLEM

#goodtimes

I don’t know why you cried when I gave back your pet hamster.

I mean, I mummified him and put him in a tiny coffin and everything!

Seriously?

Word

Tweet Us @BlackSheep_CLEM

Dominear To manipulate or control men and women in close proximity to you.

of the

“Kaitlyn would dominear any man she shared the room with using her shrill laugh and overly aggressive sexuality.”

Week Guess The Mascot Tweet Us @BlackSheep_CLEM First right answer wins a prize!

DON’T MESS AROUND WITH

#BADTIMESMAN

Tweet us your creepiest, most hilarious, most perverted, most raunchy (or all of the above) pick-up lines to @BlackSheep_CLEM #BadTimesMan

If yours proves to be the weirdest, you’ll win a prize and be featured in next week’s issue!

The Black Sheep

Celebrity Before & After Just like Jeopardy!, our before and after asks you to pair two unlike things, sharing only a word. Because we’re as vapid as the rest of you, a celebrity name will always be involved. Tweet your answer @BlackSheep_CLEM and use #goodtimes for a chance to win a prize!

Basketballer and Kardashian brood spawner racks up the miles on this as he pulls away from his wife.

TIGERS

TOGO.COM Clemson. Delivered!

All your favorites to your door!

... AND MORE!!!

ORDER ONLINE OR CALL: 864-952-5002

read more online TheBlackSheepOnline.com

Around campus Send us your party pics from around campus to pics@theblacksheeponline.com

! s PENAthen O n W i NO ter St x a B 396

Your Fast, Fresh & Original Neighborhood Deli

Helping hangovers since 1941 Beat the Yellow Jackets! Clemson

Easley

Greenville

Spartanburg

104 Finley St.reet Clemson, SC 29631-1532

6101-I Calhoun Mem. Hwy Easley, SC 29640

20 E. Coffee Street Downtown Greenville, SC

100 E. Main St.reet Spartanburg, SC 29306

864-653-7764

864-855-1289

864-552-1541

864-582-2662

Check Us Out Online at Grouchos.com

The

Top

Ten

Things Clemsonites Aren’t So Thankful For By: hashtagsrat

How To Win Thanksgiving Day By: dan collins Let’s face it: besides the glorious meal at its climax, Thanksgiving is not the best of holidays. There’s no presents, no candy, no parties, and you generally have to spend the entire thing with your family. This can be, at best, mildly entertaining, and at worst, a complete disaster. But have no fear, The Black Sheep is here to show you how to win Thanksgiving. The night before Thanksgiving is the universal night for reunions with old friends, so let’s not even pretend you didn’t drink your face off with your high school buddies. Thus, the first obstacle in the way of a successful Thanksgiving is the massive hangover pounding you repeatedly in the head. To combat this, start your day off with a fresh Budweiser. Suggest the rest of your family have one too. While you’re used to drinking all day and being “unaffected,” the rest of your family won’t be. This will provide some much-needed entertainment later in the day when mom drunkenly attempts a back handspring in the living room.

settlers didn’t bother to confirm that the people they were mistreating were Indian, and in the spirit of the America, neither should you. Another way to add some excitement to Thanksgiving is the family football game. These traditional family games of football are open to anyone, no matter how old or young, which makes them incredibly boring. Plus, there’s no way you’re going to lose (again) this year because you’re supposed to let little Jeffrey score every time he gets the ball. Take it upon yourself to eliminate, via stretcher, all unfit players from the game. If grandma didn’t want to get lit up crossing the middle, she shouldn’t have come into your zone. This may end with you spending the rest of your Thanksgiving at the hospital, or possibly the morgue, but it’s worth it as long as you get the win at the end of the day.

Even if the whole crew is now stumbling drunk, Thanksgiving is still all about family bonding. This is especially important to parents of college students because, with the kids out of the house, opportunities to bond are few and far between. One great way to bring the family together is by going out and getting the Thanksgiving turkey together. But going to the store as a family will be a nightmare. To spice things up, rather than buying one, have the family band together in the hopes of killing a turkey as a team. Nothing brings people together like a traumatic experience, and few things are more traumatic than forcing your little sister to slit the throat of a ferocious wild beast.

If your previous antics have not gotten you disowned yet, there is really only one more obstacle between you and euphoria (dinner): watching football. Obviously, watching football with your relatives is a recipe for an insufferable experience. But, since they have jobs and “better” things to do besides drink, watch football, and go to the occasional class, it will soon be clear that they know nothing about any of the teams playing. Use this to your advantage by making “friendly” wagers on the games to make them more interesting. You can rest assured that if you can survive the rest of the day, you will be able to afford enough Clemson Goodnight to kill a bear, compliments of Great Aunt Linda. Disclaimer: If you are Italian and have any suspicion about possible mob activity by your relatives, we do not recommend you try this.

If your worthless family fails at this, you still have one opportunity to salvage your day. Live like the settlers from the first Thanksgiving and, in the true spirit of the holiday, steal a turkey from your neighbors. They don’t necessarily have to be Native American, but anyone with brownish sort of skin will work. The

By following these simple steps, there is no doubt that you will have your most exciting Thanksgiving since Uncle Ben “accidentally” stabbed Uncle Jack with the carving knife. Whether it’s exciting enough to make up for the pending lawsuits and loss of inheritance is yet to be seen, but it can’t possibly be worse than last year.

Ah, ‘tis the season before the season to be jolly, the time of year where we lie in wait to celebrate Presents for Everyone Day, aka Christmas. Like bogus alcohol education, Thanksgiving tries to force you to have perspective and a healthy outlook before the fun can begin. The world is a wonderful place, but the forced gratitude almost takes the joy out of it. Likewise, Clemson is undoubtedly the best place in the world, and offers us many things that we can PTL for; however, like a Miss Kitty sandwich drenched in mayo, the Clemson experience takes many of the things in our life that should be great and drowns them in grumpiness and regret. So, without further ado, here are ten things Clemsonites aren’t blessing this Thanksgiving. 10.) Success: Remember a couple of weeks ago when we were on top of the world? We had all but booked our tickets for Pasadena for the Natty-C. Then Jameis Winston came into The Valley and shat all over us. Not to say that a one-loss season is anything to be ashamed of, but considering the back-sass that many of us had to take at the mercy of those tank top-clad FSU dillweeds, it’s not exactly an easy load to swallow. 9.) Opportunity for an Education: While US News & World Report recognized Clemson as a top-25 public university, can one even obtain such a valuable degree if they can’t get into a gen-ed class? Shoutout to iRoar for totally shitting the bed come registration time; it takes all the stress out of the graduation-planning experience. 8.) Breadth of Knowledge and Learning: There’s a special section of hell reserved for whoever came up with the idea of ePortfolio. Someone please tell us of a headhunter or HR representative who sits around saying, “You know what? I’m really curious about this candidate’s handle on science, technology, and society. Let’s go back and read his Hist172 essay.” Unless said HR person has no life, not even a weird fetish or a cabal of cats and other exotic pets, there’s no way in hell that they care about ePortfolio. 7.) Lessons Learned: Does throwing up in every fraternity house at Clemson count as a diverse breadth of experiences? Even though Clemson is a bubble, our humble abode likes to play hardball with our collective dignity under the banner of “The College Experience.” While this is a prime time to learn about ourselves, do we really need to get arrested DT for a disorderly, or wind up on Clemson Makeouts to learn our limits? 6.) Roof Over Our Head: If you’re an unlucky bitch or bastard that’s still stuck in a dorm, we sincerely hope you make it through this year without contracting asbestos poisoning or something. Seriously, Clemson housing redefines ghetto, with nasty, asbestos-laden walls and desks and chairs equally drastic with obscenities permanently scrawled into them. Do more, Clemson, do more. 5.) Clothes on Our Backs: We’re anxiously awaiting the day that Clemson overcomes the great mandals epidemic, as well as the prevalence of leggings with regular shirts. Those are NOT shoes, and those are NOT pants. 4.) Food on Our Plates: When you walk through Schilletter as a prospective Tiger, it doesn’t seem that bad. In fact, the variety of options, the TVs, and the sheer coolness of the college experience make it seem pretty sweet. LIES. All of it, lies. 3.) Our Good Health: If you’ve made it through four years here without getting mono, you deserve an effing medal. Also, if you’ve made it through a trip to Redfern without feeling severely traumatized, teach us your ways. 2.) Love and Fellowship: Ha, what’s a relationship? So many manchildren, so many girls seeking validation in male attention, so many unsatisfying hookups and pseudo-relationships. Add on the seniors who somehow got it together and managed to secure that ring by spring, and cue bitterness in those of us stuck in the vicious casual sex-feelings cycle. 1.) Turkey…Wild Turkey: Is there anything fouler than this bottom, bottom shelf whiskey? Taking a shot of Wild Turkey is akin to taking a shot of ethanol or breathing in tear gas, with the sputtering and burning throat to match. But at least it beats the turkey in Schilletter.

read more online TheBlackSheepOnline.com

Out-of-Staters Guide to a South Carolina Thanksgiving

on the Streets What would you want to be stuffed with this Thanksgiving? Joe

“Football.”

Brian

By: ClemsonBAB For far away, out of state Clemson students, going home for Thanksgiving means mommy and daddy blowing close to $500 on a plane ticket for a glorified long weekend. It isn’t until after freshman year that parents realize having their kid home to stuff his face, sleep, and ignore them isn’t really worth $500. So what do “out-of-staters” do to avoid spending Thanksgiving on a campus so dead you could hear a pin drop in The Union all the way from Lightsey Bridge? Time to pack your bags and head over to an in-state friend’s house for a Southern Thanksgiving. If you’ve never spent Thanksgiving in South Carolina before, be prepared to face Southern family members whose accents you can’t understand, to eat Southern food that’ll have your arteries thanking you later for not growing up in South Carolina, and to spend about 77% of your Thanksgiving dinner talking about the Tigers-Gamecocks football rivalry.

“It’s no secret that Southerners don’t need an excuse to deep-fry any edible thing in sight.” As far as accents go, when it comes to South Carolina, some of these residents can’t successfully pronounce anything. When spending Thanksgiving here, you’ll notice the accent gets less understandable with age. Unless you grew up around this Southern twang, Grandma’s stories about her first Carolina-Clemson game in 1963 will be as understandable as your chem lab TA’s experiment procedure explanations. Southerners respect politeness, so instead of giving them a what-the-hell-is-comingout-of-your-mouth look, simply nod your head, smile, and laugh at two-minute intervals. If you really can’t understand anything anyone is saying at a Thanksgiving dinner full of Clemson alumni, just start doing the Cadence Count, that shuts everyone up.

It’s no secret that Southerners don’t need an excuse to deep-fry any edible thing in sight. South Carolinians take advantage of their Thanksgivings to embrace the unhealthy dining they’ve grown to love. If you love everything about The Smoking Pig, be prepared to fall into an= unhealthy-fried-artery-clogging food coma. We’re talking fried turkey instead of oven baked, mac n’ cheese instead of mashed potatoes, and chicken and dumplings instead of stuffing. If any of these foods seem too weird to eat, it’s probably a better idea to spend your Thanksgiving alone and sad in Harcombe. The last thing you want to do is piss off your friend’s little ole Grammy Bee by refusing her famous banana pudding. Before heading to Ninety Six, SC, ask yourself this question: am I ready to eat a deep fried animal killed by Uncle Billy Bob Hardly-Has-A-FullSet-of-Teeth Joe himself?

“Alcohol.”

Markell

Unless you’re a complete campus outcast who totally defies school spirit, you’re well aware that along with Thanksgiving comes the highly anticipated Clemson-South Carolina game. Since South Carolina lacks any professional sports teams even remotely worth being a fan of, every resident feeds off of this rivalry. If you’re going to Columbia, expect to find yourself surrounded by annoying assholes who spend their football season cheering for a damn chicken. The plus side? You’ll be more thankful now than ever that you go to the obviously better university (you’ll know this about 4 minutes into an unintelligent conversation with Carolina fan). The downside? Expect to work tirelessly to stand your ground and obnoxiously display your Clemson Tiger pride. So before you start packing your bags, mentally prepare to be the sore thumb sticking out on the deep fried turkey grease-covered hands that is Thanksgiving in South Carolina. If you’re not down to be that sore thumb, we suggest you look up the Thanksgiving dinner plan in Harcombe to determine whether or not you’ll be needing to order some Wingin’ It take out instead.

“Good food.”

If you don’t start following us...

YOU WON’T KNOW WHAT’S SO DAMN FUNNY.

@BLACKSHEEP_CLEM Scan to go right to the page!

OVERTIME

The Grid Thursday Nights! $3.56 Sushi Rolls

Open for Lunch! Mon- Sat: 11:30am - 11pm Happy Hour Monday - Friday: $9 Liquor Pitchers after Happy Hour every night

Mondays: $3 Long Islands Monday Night Football Special: Bucket of Chicken and Fries for $15

Monday - Friday $5.50 Mini Liquor Pitchers That equals 3 drinks for only $5.50!

$3.56 Sushi $5 Champagne Bottles

Burger and a Beer Night! $7.50 Backstreets Burgers or $8.50 Specialty Burgers and Your Choice of Selected Beers Happy Hour Mon-Fri: $8.75 Liquor Pitchers

$3.50 Fireball, $5 Liquor Pitchers

Burger and a Beer Night! $7.50 Backstreets Burgers or $8.50 specialty burgers and your choice of selected beers

FRIday

$6 Liquor Pitchers until 8PM $1.50 Mystery Beers at 10PM

$2.50 Fireball Shots Happy Hour Monday - Friday: $4.75 PBR Pitchers, $8.75 Liquor Pitchers

$3 Sex on the Beach, $3 Blue Motorcycles

$5.50 Mini Liquor Pitchers Monday - Friday That equals 3 drinks for only $5.50!

saturday

Flaturday Special 2 flatbreads and a bucket of beers for just $12.95

$2.50 Fireball Shots

$3 Liquid Marijuana, $3 Bahama Mama’s

Open 6:00 pm - 2:00 am Show up early to miss the line at midnight!

Kitchen Open from 11:30am - 11pm Monday - Friday, 4pm - 11pm on Saturdays Come check out our daily lunch specials!

Closed

Open 6:00 pm - 2:00 am Members can buy beer and wine to go.

All You Can Eat Sushi $12.59

Monday Night Football Special! Free cheese nachos with every pitcher of beer, Half price appetizers $8 for a dozen Wings

$3 Long Islands Monday Night Football Special: Bucket of Chicken and Fries for $15

tuesday

Tourney Tuesday at 10pm

$5.75 Large Pizza, $5 Bud Light Pitchers Happy Hour Monday - Friday: $8.75 Liquor Pitchers

$3 Red Stag, $3 Captain Morgan

$5.75 Large Pizzas, $5 Bud Light Pitchers and $5.50 Mini Liquor Pitchers all night

wednesday

Add Larry Friar on Facebook for Daily Specials!

Yeungs and Wings! $5 Yeungling Pitchers, $6.75 for a Dozen Wings and $5.50 Mini Liquor Pitchers

thursday

$3.56 Sushi $5 Champagne Bottles

$3.50 Fireball, $5 Liquor Pitchers

Burger and a Beer Night! $7.50 Backstreets Burgers or $8.50 specialty burgers and your choice of selected beers

SPECIAL NIGHT thursday

sunday monday

Yeungs and Wings! $5 Yeungling Pitchers, $6.75 for a Dozen Wings

Happy Hour Mon-Fri: $8.75 Liquor Pitchers Burger and a Beer Night! $7.50 Backstreets Burgers or $8.50 Specialty Burgers and Your Choice of Selected Beers Happy Hour Mon-Fri: $8.75 Liquor Pitchers

$8 for a dozen wings, 1/2 off appetizers

$5.50 Mini Liquor Pitchers Monday - Friday That equals 3 drinks for only $5.50!

50 S 8 E $ C PRI ING AT T TAR

CLEMSON LIFESTYLE AT ITS BEST! Indulge yourself in style and comfort! Spacious 3 bedroom, 2 bath total electric apartment homes starting under $900* *Limited Availability and Prices subject to change

Rosewood

/rosemont.atclemson

formerly Rosemont at Clemson

PALMETTO’S

The Grid

Smokehouse & Oyster Bar New Dessert: Skookie! Chocolate Chip Cookie fresh baked in a Skillet with Vanilla Ice Cream and Chocolate Sauce. OMG!!!

FRIDAY! 24 Wings and Pitcher of Beer for $14.99

Wednesdays: Trivia @ 10pm!

ASK THE WAITRESS ABOUT THE HOT WINGS CHALLENGE. CAN YOU DO IT?!

SPECIAL NIGHT

All Day - Double Decker: Pulled Pork and Beef Brisket Sandwich with side for $8.99 $1 off Margaritas after 5pm

Buy 6, Get 6 Wings After 4pm

Wreck Tech - Go Tigers Never a cover, even on home games!

$6 Draft Beer and House Liquor Pitchers during Happy Hour Plus live entertainment!

thursday

Ribeye Steak Night! $1 off any Steak Topping $2 off Bottles of Wine

24 Wings and Pitcher of Beer for $14.99

Service, Service, Service

$1 off Draft Beer Pitchers during Happy Hour Plus live entertainment!

FRIday

$10 Bottomless Mimosas from 11am-2pm, Low Country and Crawfish Boil after 5pm, $8 Domestic Pitchers, $10 Imported Pitchers BIG Nasty Chicken Biscuit with side for $8.99

$0.50 Wings All Day!

Your Football Headquarters!

Largest Bloody Mary bar in town! AND college football!

saturday

Signature Dish Combo: Choose two (shrimp and grits, creole jambalaya, Brunswick stew) and a salad.

Visit the Top of Tiger Town Tavern’s Private Club!

sunday

Oyster Bash & Shrimp Jam: Oysters: $0.75 Raw & Steamed, $1 Grilled and Buffalo, $1.50 Dragos or Rednecks, Shrimp: $0.75 Steamed, Blackened, Grilled, Buffalo, or BBQ, $1 Bud Light Drafts

All You Can Eat Wings!

Monday Night Football Specials

$6 Weekly Special 104.9 will be in the house for a Radio Show!

monday

Low Country and Crawfish Boil $3 Vodkas

Karaoke With Fred Rock

Bingo at 10pm!

Twosday! Two burger baskets & a pitcher of beer for $12!

tuesday

All Day - BIG Nasty Burger: 1/3lb Chargrilled Cheeseburger topped with Pulled Pork, Baked Beans, and Onion Straws with a side for $8.99 $3 Bourbons after 5pm

$1 Burger Night

Trivia at 10pm!

Buy 1/2 pounds of wings, get a 1/2 pound FREE!

wednesday

All Day - Double Decker: Pulled Pork and Beef Brisket Sandwich with side for $8.99 $1 off Margaritas after 5pm

Buy 6, Get 6 Wings After 4pm

Stiffest drinks in town! Where the Big Tigers Play...

$6 Draft Beer and House Liquor Pitchers during Happy Hour Plus live entertainment!

thursday

(Takes 30 minutes to prepare so call ahead or order when you arrive.)

The Black Sheep Interviews: Indie Director Todd Sklar By: Brendan “Film director,” you think flashing lights, red carpet treatment, the power to just…Steve if you don’t get this take right you are finished in this town, do you hear me?! Not so fast, what about those directors still hauling themselves up one rung of the Hollywood ladder at a time? Todd Sklar is one of these indie directors, and with his recent release, Awful Nice, making the rounds, we decided to chat with him to see what the life of an up-and-coming director is actually like.

life. If you want to be doing it, it’s all-encompassing. It’s bad. You’re always doing work, thinking about doing work, finding work, doing work to get more work, if you’re not working you feel like you’re wasting time… Any career where you’re in a situation where you’re pursuing something outside of that nine-to-five, you have to work nonstop to get there, whether it’s a start-up, even an athlete. It’s all-encompassing if you want to be good.

The Black Sheep: You were a college student who dropped out to pursue a career in film, what was the impetus for that? Todd Sklar: I had an absolute blast in college. I loved it. I probably didn’t work hard enough studying, but I’d say I used most of what I’d learnt in college—both inside the classroom and out—after I left the University of Missouri. It helped me in the career I chose, but also helped refine what I wanted to do in that career. It was finding passion in filmmaking, and realizing the career I was looking towards was not one you typically go to college for, then landed a job after. I should note that this was halfway through my fifth year of college— I was a fifth-year senior when I recognized that a degree in theater acting would not help me become a filmmaker.

TBS: You say you fell into directing to better convey your writing vision, how do you balance working with people, but getting across the vision you set for yourself? Todd: I don’t know. I’ve only done a few features, I don’t know if I’ve figured that out yet, because in my experience, I’ve had great people and horrible people. The great people, they’re doing things and helping you through things that are so big, that these talented people help you make your ideas better. It’s incredible. I’ve had the other side too, people who are miserable to work with that and extremely unable to do the job they’re supposed to do. In that case it’s the most frustrating thing in the world, but you can’t do it any better either. It’s very dependent on the people you’re working with. It’s more about them than it is about you.

TBS: How do you get to the point where you’re directing your own films? Todd: I started making shorts, trying to learn how to make movies. I made a lot of bad ones for a while. I made like, fifteen horrible, horrible short films before I made one that was kind of good. I made my second one that was okay, and it was so much work I decided I wanted to make a feature next. After that, I had an idea that was a feature, I was 23 at the time, I watched 3 movies a night with DVD commentary. I gave it a go to see how it works. It was a learning experience—you learn while you’re doing it.

TBS: Your new movie, Awful Nice, how did that change or mature over the span of the creative process? Todd: It changed drastically. We did not have a very good shoot on this movie and the final movie is a shell of the script we wrote. In a weird way it became its own movie when we were shooting it, and again when we were editing it. The movie came out with a lot more physical comedy, a lot quicker, punchier than the script. Films, in a lot of ways, become indicative of what you’re going through at the time, and this film in specific, I was going through some growing pains, and the movie reflects that.

TBS: What does a director do, exactly? Todd: I come from a different background than a lot of directors. I never wanted to be a director, I always wanted to be a storyteller, and writing always comes first. Directing, for me, is making sure what comes out is the story that we wrote. As a result, I’m very much an actors’ director. All you’re doing is trying to get a bunch of other people to do things with you and for you, to get your story across. Usually you’re doing that because you can’t do what they do. If I knew how to get great sound, I could do it, but there’s a guy who is doing it because he’s better at it than I am. He can elevate my results. It’s a pretty humbling, and uh, terrible job.

TBS: Are there benefits to sticking in the indie genre, or is it more people do this so they can go to a studio? Todd: For me, the stories I’m interested in telling and the style I’m interested in telling them tend towards mainstream commercial sensibilities. To be able to transition from independent filmmaker to studio filmmaker you either need to have a lot of confidence and trust in people you’ll be working with, or you have to have a complete lack of care for your story, or it has to be about your career, or you have to be obsessed with the technical side of things. For me, I’m not a technically gifted filmmaker, so transitioning from an independent filmmaker to a studio filmmaker has a lot to do with confidence in myself as a filmmaker. I’ve had an opportunity for studio work, but it’s not something I’m dying to do quite yet.

TBS: How all-encompassing is what you’re doing? Todd: It’s definitely destroys any ability to have a normal

TBS: And speaking of the difference between studio and indie movies, with Awful Nice, you have a pretty big star in Christopher Merloni. Were you concerned at all with if or how he’d pull weight? Todd: All of my problems thus far with filmmaking has come from crew, not from the actors. There’s very much this level of professionalism—I’ll say this: When you have trouble with actors, they’re not invested in the project. In Awful Nice, all of the actors were invested in the project, and they were so helpful in covering up some chaos created by the crew. Very fortunate to have actors like that, and Merloni specifically was exceptionally helpful, not just as an actor, but as a mentor, a guy who came in and gave notes in a script that had nothing to do with his character. TBS: How do you deal with outside criticism, both positive and negative? Todd: You have to take it with a grain of salt. But, for me, there’s two goals: To tell the story in the best way possible, but to also get better in telling the story. So, both positive and negative criticism help better that process by letting you know what you did well, or if someone’s critiquing something, it can tell you what you could be doing better, or where you may have failed story-wise. TBS: Is this a good time, historically, for someone who wants to get involved in moviemaking to do so? Todd: It’s the best time in the history of our existence to be doing this. At the same time, I think the danger to that is that it’s something you can do for a while before you realize it’s not what you want to be doing. I equate it to joining the army. I assume that if you join the Army, you’ll figure out pretty quickly whether or not it’s for you. Filmmaking isn’t like that. Especially nowadays, there’s so many ways to work that you can do it for five or ten years before you realize it’s not for you. There’s such a low barrier of entry, that there’s also such a low barrier to getting more deeply involved with it. The playing field has leveled out quite a bit. TBS: On IMDB a user named JonCharbineux writes, “Todd and Alex came home with my one of my roommates, who was trying to get laid, but they ditched her and stayed up watching die hard with me our other roommate until about 4am. We made ice cream pancakes and popped in Die Hard 2 and I passed out shortly after. When I woke up the next morning, Todd was in my bed and Alex was in Ben’s (my other roommate) and we were both on the couch. We found out later that they stole a bunch of our beer and a box of trisquits. WTF? “ Care to comment? Todd: Wow, when did that happen? That definitely sounds like something I’d do, but not recently. When was this written? TBS: April 2010. Todd: Oh yeah, I know exactly who that is, and yes, that did happen. 2010 was a weird year for everyone.

Bartender of the Week Relationship Status: In a relationship Major: Early Childhood Favorite Drink: Bacardi Dragonberry, Sprite, and cranberry Favorite Shot: Pink Starburst Disgusting Drink: Anything with Jaeger If you could replace the turkey as Thanksgiving’s centerpiece, what food would you replace it with?: Spaghetti. What three items goes in your college cornucopia?: Bar tool for cans/bottles, bourbon, and wings.

Evans of Wingin’ It

What fast food item would be better if it were made with turkey?: Turkey burgers. How racist is the phrase “BLACK Friday”?: A little bit. But for real, dark meat or light meat?: Light meat. What if turkeys were actually made out of horses?: Ew, no… Why should people read The Black Sheep?: Because it’s cooler than other papers!

Recipe for disaster

Drinking Game Canoe Race

Brownout-of-Your-Ass Burrito

A throwback to the high school garage party days. The Canoe Race is a quick game of a 2-person flip cup and pong hybrid that will get you belching and buzzing in no time flat.

This is one of those meals that you wouldn’t eat unless you were somewhat inebriated. Okay … very inebriated. This burrito will satisfy all your needs when you return to your apartment without a slampiece, and fall back on eating to make up for your lack of game. And it saves you money not having to buy it at Chipotle.

What You’ll Need: 16 red cups, 2 ping pong balls, a table and beers. Number of Players: 4 players Level of Intoxication: You’ll get a lot in ya pretty fast. How to Play: - Split up into two teams of two and stand on opposite sides of the table, each team having one ping pong ball. - Set up four cups in front of each person, Bozo Buckets-style. - Pour beer into each cup, about a quarter of the way up. - When you’re ready, the first people with the ping pong balls try to shoot across their table into their partner’s cups. - If you make a cup, your partner has to chug the beer in the cup and flip it onto the table. - Once your partner completes this, they shoot the ball back across the table to your cups. When they make it, you do the same—chug the beer, flip the cup and keep shooting. - There are no pauses in this game, so don’t wait for the other team to shoot or anything like that. The only time you have to wait before shooting is while your teammate is flipping their cup. They have to have that completed first before taking their turn. The Game Ends When: All of your team’s cups have been flipped!

download our free app for all the games! 12

What balloon would you float in the Macy’s Day Parade?: A Snoopy balloon.

How concerned are you that the turkey getting the presidential pardon ends up spending a bunch of your hard-earned money on Obamacare?: Very concerned.

What You’ll Need: An oven, a microwave, Easy Mac, pizza rolls, a tortilla, Tabasco sauce, chopped lettuce, hot peppers and any other toppings of your choice. Cook Time: 15 minutes Fatty Factor: You’ll poop it out. No big deal. Let’s Get Baked: - Put the pizza rolls in the oven and let them cook for 15 minutes. - When the pizza rolls are done cooking, take them out of the oven. While they’re cooling off, put the Easy Mac in the microwave for 3 minutes. - Once the pizza rolls have cooled off, wrap them up in the tortilla. - Pour the Easy Mac on top of the pizza rolls. - Drizzle Tabasco sauce over everything, as much or as little as you want. - Put the lettuce and hot peppers on top, along with any other garnishes that strike your fancy (shredded cheese, anyone?). - Roll it up burrito-style and chow down. Mmm, tastes even better when it comes back out.

nomnomnomnom theblacksheeponline.com

read more online TheBlackSheepOnline.com

Girl unaware that her every interaction ruins someone else’s good time By: Dillon McLaughlin

For nearly six years, Clemson University sophomore Christina Chazikov has remained blissfully unaware that every interaction she has with another person ruins someone else’s good time. She began elementary school as an adorable, energetic child and left as a slightly annoying, but ultimately tolerable presence. Her condition deteriorated through high school and has culminated in her becoming the worst thing to happen to any social situation. “I was having a perfectly pleasant conversation with a few of my band friends when suddenly Christina jumps right in,” complained Jimmy Haverfield, a sophomore music major. “It was just as I was getting to the good part too, where the professor rips his pants as he bends over to get the chalk. But she came over and tore the foundation for the punchline right out from under me.” Chazikov has a history of haplessly flailing into stories at their climax. She once interrupted Haverfield’s random encounter with Jerry Seinfeld on a New York City street corner, ruining Haverfield’s chance to recreate the magic his young self felt during his first viewing of the

popular sitcom Seinfeld. “It’s not like it’s hard to read social cues,” Haverfield moaned. “If I’m talking to a world famous comedian, you don’t smash into the conversation with something as inane as ‘Hey Jimmy, fancy meeting you here. What’d you have for lunch? Who’s this guy?’” Haverfield recalled that as Seinfeld left, it looked as though he had decided he would never speak to another fan ever again. “I remember my first frat party with her,” said Chazikov’s freshman year roommate Suzie Gordman. “We walked in and the music literally stopped. Everyone looked at her and one guy in the back broke down into tears. He blubbered something about a broken childhood and buried his face in the basement dirt corner.” Chazikov’s mother, Cecilia, said of Christina’s inability to function socially, “We tried so hard with her, but when your family reunion stops cold because someone has such a strong aversion to, and high failure rate at communal functions, well, that speaks for itself.” Mrs. Chazikov continued, “Eventually you have

to abandon a sinking ship.” She then turned to her husband sitting next to her, who looked at reporters with resolute eyes. “Ask her about her first boyfriend,” said Chazikov’s father, Borneo. “He joined the Army because at least there they cultivate a sense of familiarity. At least there you’re part of a cause. Love’s not supposed to be a place where you abandon all hope of happiness. That happens anyway.” Sources reluctantly close to Chazikov confirm that her parents haven’t called her in two years and that Chazikov grows quiet at the mention of family, as if she is on the verge of some form of an epiphany. Large rain storms rarely occur above Chazikov, as they are unwilling to have their thunder stolen. Chazikov has been compared to societal cancer, the top of the hierarchy of social pariahship, and a black hole where amusement goes to die, crushed to death in the dimensional singularity that is Chazikov’s soul.

Pregnant? We Can Help! Birthright of Clemson birthrightsc.com 654-3377

Find us on Facebook!

FREE

Pregnancy Testing

Guess The Coach

Do you know who all these college basketball coaches are? Send us your answers to backpage@theblacksheeponline.com and if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re right, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll win a sweet prize!

American Holidays ACROSS 2) Held every November 11th. 4) Or, Singles Awareness Day. 5) Celebrate the beginning of a new year on the Hebrew calendar, two words. 6) March 8th is a day to celebrate this perfect species. 7) This day happens every four years on January 20th. 10) The Friday after Thanksgiving is this color. 12) The third Monday in January celebrates the what of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.? 14) We celebrate this Saint by dyeing the Chicago River green. 16) Important Jewish holiday that occurs in the spring. 17) The Friday before Easter. 18) Bill Murray celebrates this day over and over and over. 19) African American holiday starting on December 26th.

crossword

DOWN 1) 8-day Jewish holiday in the winter. 3) Earth Day is a celebration of what? 8) The day to celebrate â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;MURICA!!! 9) This day marks the end of the Ten Days of Penitence, two words. 11) Cinco de Mayo celebrates the Mexican army defeating which army? 12) A day for planting trees. 13) Gettinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; crazy in New Orleans, two words.

Go Tigers! Crush GT!