The Black Sheep
f lau ree... gh like ove ge r yo t t i n ur g t mo he l rta as l en t em y.
Vol. 3, Issue 7
The College Newspaper That's Actually About College
11/14/13 - 11/27/13
A Fraternal Thanksgiving BY: Courtney Paul Thanksgiving brings age-old traditions that will continue down generations, spreading warmth and cheer to its many faithful patrons past and present. While many would argue that Thanksgiving only graces us once a year, we’d argue that for college students, Thanksgiving comes every weekend. Because what is a fraternity party if not a giant Thanksgiving? The Black Sheep presents to you the five golden rings of Thanksgiving at a fraternity party – so it’s a Christmas reference at Thanksgiving, as if you haven’t seen it before. Just go with it. The Spirit of Generosity: We all learned the story in grade school. The Native Americans shared a giant feast with those colonists from the Mayflower. Sure, later they all killed each other or something, but the theme of giving still stands. Consider yourselves the poor, famished colonists and the host brothers the Native Americans with their servant hearts. They share with you a cornucopia of Busch Light, the blessing of pledge transportation, and, of course, some love and respect on the dance floor. And as if that weren’t enough to be thankful for, weren’t the Native Americans half-naked? Truly blessed. The Parade: What is Thanksgiving without the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade? Every family loves to huddle around the television to see the spectacle of ostentatious costumes, fancy makeup, and, of course, the massive floats. The fraternity party scene offers a similar parade, as long as you’re willing to wait until morning. You’ll see girls in costume, girls with mascara and glitter streaming down their faces, and even girls walking in the stilts they wore last night, all headed for different parts of campus, from the Horseshoe to the Shoeboxes. But for your sake, we hope you don’t see any girls resembling floats. The Turkey Pardon: It’s a fun, lighthearted tradition for the President of the United States to pardon that special turkey from impending death. Likewise, we Clemsonites pardon each other from the variety of degrading embarrassments, losses of dignity, and general stupidity that occurs under the hallowed, sweat-covered halls of each house. So whatever you did, have done, and will do, fear not. You are pardoned. And hopefully from something a lot less severe than death and consumption by man. The Family Time: The epitome of Thanksgiving is family. The epitome of family is dysfunction. And the epitome of dysfunction lies somewhere on the sticky bathroom floors of every fraternity house across Pickens County.
page 6
Top 10 Things Clemsonites Aren’t Thankful For
But the one thing they are thankful for? Top shelf whiskey.
Just like a good ole Thanksgiving at home, any respectable fraternity party boasts the people you love, the people you hate, and those people that just don’t seem to belong – we’re looking at you, legacies.
Thanksgiving’s abundance of amazing sustenance in the form of alcohol. And, while it isn’t quite a food coma, that sustenance will knock you into a similar state of unconsciousness.
The Food: It’s everyone’s favorite part of the holiday. Young and old, thin and fat, hell, even Tiger and Gamecock, all people are tied in an unspoken bond created by food. And to any self-respecting college student, food is quickly replaced by alcohol. What would you rather enjoy: that box of last night’s Osaka or a few shots of Sake? A fraternity party offers you
So before you pack your bags in anticipation for the annual celebration that is Thanksgiving, show some appreciation for the Thanksgiving you experience here in Tigertown every weekend. After all, a Clemson fraternity Thanksgiving beats any lame family gathering, even considering Granny made apple pie.
pages 10 -11
page 13
We Interview: Todd Sklar
Girl unaware she ruins everyone’s good time
we talk with the Indie movie director about his latest film Awful Nice.
• Keep Up With Us! • @BlackSheep_CLEM • theblacksheeponline.com •
Her every interaction causes men to break down in tears.