The Black Sheep
bro free. the ..lik r’s e yo Hal ur low lit een tle c an dy.
Vol.5, Issue 5
The College Newspaper That's Actually About College
10/31/13 - 11/13/13
UD Dresses Up for halloween
as Top-Notch Academic Institution BY: Joe Ziegler In a surprise move, the University of Delaware announced it will be dressing up as a topnotch college for Halloween. The holiday, in which people guise themselves as various persons, objects, and things, provides an opportunity for participants to pretend to be something they’re not, often as a form of wish fulfillment.
“Last year, as I was considering a move to Delaware, I read everything I could about UD—about its history and traditions, about its acclaimed faculty, talented students and prominent alumni.
are, what we stand for and why we matter. This captured my imagination and resonated with me personally. For weeks I was consumed with this idea. How could I dare to be first? I stayed up long into the night thinking about it, soft whimpers leaking out of the corners of my quivering mouth. My wife couldn’t handle it. I thought she had pledged to be with me always, but here I am alone, typing this email out in my underwear and a Snuggie I impulsively bought from a display at a Sears Hardware. The kids are gone but I hear the echoes of their laughter in the hallways. I keep finding myself pausing as I pass their room. ‘They’re not there,’ I tell myself. ‘Just move on,’ I say. But I look anyway. I always look. Anyway, I figured if we couldn’t be the best university in the country ,we could pretend to be.”
And then I read this: DARE TO BE FIRST. A compact message intended to proclaim publicly who we
A source familiar with the university’s thinking has told The Black Sheep that this costume
In an open letter sent to students, faculty, and staff of the university, Provost Domenico Grasso had this to say about the move:
page 4 President Harker Can’t Tell if Stove is Hot He has to touch it, which isn’t a great method.
was planned long in advance, and was responsible for, among other cosmetic improvements, the new ISE Lab. “The ISE Lab was constructed following the standards of the U.S. Green Building Council’s LEED Silver designation,” said the source, who would neither confirm nor deny allegations that the above statement was something a five-year-old would say when pretending to be a smart person. Reaction from the student body has been mostly positive. Many have said it feels nice to be part of a respectable university, if even for only a day. Said Shivam Amin, a senior philosophy major, “I’ve been going to UD for four years. I know it’s not anything special. The chemical engineering department is ok, I guess? I don’t know, I’ve
never taken any of those classes. “But today, I can call my parents and tell them I go to the University of Delaware – not Harvard, not Yale, but Delaware. And today, that’s good enough.
A spokesperson for the Faculty Senate told The Black Sheep that there would be no raises or bonuses this year due to costs incurred from the Halloween costume.
“Also the physical therapy program is good?”
In the official announcement of the costume on the steps of Memorial Hall, President Patrick “Batman” Harker greeted a large crowd of maintenance workers he paid to attend. Harker started his speech by pulling down a large white sheet covering Memorial Hall’s exterior, revealing that the building was now covered in ivy.
Other notable decorations around campus included fake rust paint on statues to make them look classy and stoic, a large banner congratulating Alice Munro on her Nobel Prize in Literature, and “1743” carved into every building on campus.
page 7 Top 10 Regrets of Halloween You’ve ruined apple cider forever, hooked up with Miley, and ate a whole bag of Kit Kats by yourself. What else?
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“This is who we are today,” said Harker, who dressed as Batman after being told it was to be a “classy event.” “We are a university that can hold its own with any other in the country. We represent the East Coast Classic ideal, engaging in Idea Leadership, and all for Smart Money. Talent Magnet, Discovery Learning, Citizen University.” Harker finished his speech to rapturous applause as a bright red “applause” sign lit up over his head. “And don’t worry, we’ll have the ivy taken down by tomorrow.”
page 14 Lorde most popular costume at UD The most creative costume, ‘Lorde’ attended every party this weekend.