The Black Sheep Fr
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• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
Volume 3, Issue 4 9/6/12 - 9/12/12
theblacksheeponline.com @blacksheep_UGA
Our Own Red and Dead jess wise wrote this
We reported a few weeks ago on the drama that went down at The Red & Black, and since then there have been some nail-biting developments. Following their huffy walk-out and attempt to start a rival newspaper, The Red and Dead staff took a bold step and returned peacefully to The Red & Black. Wait… what? That’s right. They achieved the world’s most boring resolution to the world’s most exciting conflict. Congratulations, you guys. Not to put it down, but The Red & Black is kind of a snoozefest. It’s just true. So we shouldn’t have been surprised with their underwhelming attempt at creating intrigue. Here at The Black Sheep, though, we are heroes. We’re not only comfortable when the shit hits the fan, we’ll gladly smear it on your grandma’s face. If we got into a rumble with our editors, we would do more than blog angrily about it for 3 days. We would take it to the next level, and then all the levels above that. People want drama, and we would provide. We would create our very own Hunger Games, Athens style. We would set ourselves loose downtown with nothing but a pair of open-toed shoes and $5 in change. Forced to roam the streets looking for sustenance and shelter, we would brave the elements and fight to survive. The last writer standing would emerge from the rubble a true champion. Of course, all of us would try our hardest. We would use all of our street smarts, but it’s a jungle downtown. Human life is not supposed to survive in a place that is 90% bars, 5% overpriced clothing, and 5% homeless people. We would lose one brave tribute to dehydration. He would go from bar to bar, begging for water, but getting only alcohol instead. When one bartender finally takes pity on him, the only cup they have would be a shot glass. One shot of water can’t undo 25 shots of tequila, so he would eventually
Ann Romney She paid people to pull up her bootstraps, just like you and me!
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collapse in a Randy Travis-scented heap, never to rise again. After that, a feisty tribute with a heart of gold would fall during a turf war with the local homeless. Her attempt at panhandling would anger the regulars, and they would unite against her, throwing broken bottles and shouting incomprehensible insults (much like Tom Waits at every show). Her amateur shiv would be no match for their weathered hobo skin. Another courageous soul would make the rookie mistake of walking down Broad Street at closing time. He would be trampled by bros emerging from bars like a toddler at the World Cup. He was doomed from the start.
what’s inside
Finally, only one would remain, discovering a place to hide out near the Arch. This tribute would have all the glory, and he would go down in Black Sheep history. But even after the Games, our staff would be more badass than The Red & Black could ever imagine—the ghosts of the fallen writers would haunt the shit out of downtown. We would never let Athens forget how hardcore we were. So take that Red & Black. Go back to your cushy office and whine about all the institutional support you receive. We feel really sorry for you. Pussies.
Five Must-See Places for an Arrestee Go here first before you
Top Ten Ways of Getting Arrested Notice a trend here? Just
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straight up and act a fool. Scared straight!
don’t get naked and start fighting everyone, trust us.
contents page 4: Ann Romney She paid people to pull up her bootstraps, just like you and me!
Questions? Comments? Compliments? Insults? info@theblacksheeponline.com
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page 5: Five Must-See Places for an Arrestee
Table of
Go here first before you straight up and act a fool. Scared straight!
page 5: Top Ten Ways of Getting Arrested Notice a trend here? Just don’t get naked and start fighting everyone, trust us.
page 12: Contraceptives, and why they’re better than your BFF One’s your accomplice in your mistakes, the other prevents them.
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Blognosis: Any self-categorized illness one gives him or herself after researching symptoms of diseases on the internet. “Toby gave himself a spinal meningitis blognosis after researching neck pain on WebMD.”
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Ann Romney: Just like You and Me jess wise wrote this Last week at the Republican National Convention, Ann Romney gave a ridiculously long speech that was supposed to make us want to vote for her husband, Mitt. Instead, it just made us question her intelligence and wonder endlessly about her accent. Seriously, where is she from? She’s like some kind of halfsie between Sarah Palin and Ivana Trump. A swing and a miss, Ann. She started the speech by announcing that she wanted to talk “about our hearts.” Ew. Apparently Ann—excuse me, Ann’s speech writers—thought that Mitt’s politics were so rock solid that no one would have questions. I have a lot of questions, you guys, and the answers are not in my heart. Next, Ann explained that what she really wanted to talk about was love. She thought that telling us about her storybook romance with her multi-millionaire husband was going to endear him to us. Apparently they fell in love at a dance, so he should totally be president, you guys! It’s just logic. Ann spent a lot of time during this speech proving how she knows every person in America. When you think about it, that’s pretty impressive. We need to give Ann props for remembering all the people she’s ever met. Although we’re still not clear on how that relates to her husband, and why we should vote for him. Whatever, not important. But, while her attempt was admirable, I think we can all agree that Mrs. Romney left a lot to be desired. There are so many things she could have done to make her speech more interesting! Her horse is an Olympian, for God’s sake. Had
she rolled in riding Rafalca, people really would have gone crazy. Nothing stirs up our American pride like the Olympics, so Mitt would have basically had the presidency in the bag. Another thing that would have really set her apart was a fireworks display. Whenever Americans see fireworks, they get confused, think it’s the 4th of July, and immediately start singing the national anthem. THAT is what the Romney campaign needs. The fireworks would be especially effective if the fireworks exploded in the shapes of Mitt and Ann Romney’s faces. If Ann really wanted Mitt to be president, though, she should have just lined her sons up on the stage and done a date auction. Have you seen them lately? They look like freedom and democracy in human being form. Standing there in their vests and khakis, they look like they spend every day on a yacht. Who doesn’t love a good yacht? Sadly, Ann did not adopt any of these tactics, so instead she just looked like the most boring botox advertisement the world has ever seen. The only thing she has ever made anyone in America feel is sleepy, and this speech was no exception. Ann spent the majority of her speech trying to convince everyone that she and Mitt are just like everyone else. She talked about how they are basically the living embodiment
of the American Dream, about how they pulled themselves up by their bootstraps. She neglected to mention, though, that their bootstraps are bedazzled with real diamonds. Also, we all know their servants pulled their bootstraps up for them—that’s what their salaries are for! We all wanted Ann Romney to do well with her speech, we really did (who could root against someone with MS? No one is that mean), but it just didn’t work out. She should definitely fire her speech writers and buy new ones—she could definitely afford it. Because she is just like the rest of us! …Right?
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Five Must-See places for an Arrestee
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wes allen wrote this
We here at The Black Sheep know that shit happens. We wholeheartedly acknowledge that students get drunk, make mistakes, and wind up in paddy wagons that reek of booze and vomit. We would never put ourselves in a situation like that, but in all seriousness, that’s what that big-ass vehicle smells like. The arrest possibilities in Athens are endless: Underage possession, unlawful use of identification, public urination or defecation, public intoxication and the dreaded “damn, there goes my future career” driving under the influence. Look, we understand your desires to get drunk and act a fool, but the downtown rent-a-cops in training for next year’s Tour de France do not understand. We are aware that going to jail sucks, but we also know that the consequences and the requirements after suck even more. That’s why we are going to provide you with specific locations that are must-see stops on your path to becoming less of a delinquent. Athens Clarke County Jail: This location is a mandatory— literally—destination in your post arrest life. No matter what goes down the night you are put in handcuffs, you will be taken to Athens-Clarke County Jail. It’s unavoidable. The wait to be processed will take longer than you can possibly imagine, so just try to sleep. If you can’t sleep, just close your eyes and pretend to be asleep. Fingerprints will be gathered and a mug shot will be taken. The only thing you can do is pray to God that your face won’t end up plastered on the front of the “Bad and Busted.” But for those of you down with public humiliation, make that mug shot count and you will have proof of your drunken escapade to show your friends. Call a bail bondsman, pay the bond, and you will be out of that Godforsaken place before they serve you a disgusting breakfast. The Courthouse: As with jail, the courthouse is another MUST-see location after being arrested. If for some reason you decide “screw court, Chili’s is the move today” a warrant for your arrest will be issued and your ass will be hauled back to jail, hopefully in a police issued vehicle and not on the back of a bicycle. If we were you, we would not risk it. So, show up. Meet with your lawyer, but that’s only if your parents still love you and offer to pay for one. You’ll go before the judge, get your sentence, and be on your way. It sounds simple, but the judge reminds us of Judge Judy and everyone knows that the honorable Judge Judy doesn’t fuck around. Probation Office on Lexington: Probation is a form of gubernatorial control that requires you to pay egregious fines, complete community service hours, and pee in a small cup. You will be assigned a probation officer that you must meet with once a month to check in and show proof of all the things you have been doing that make your social life obsolete. Pay your fines and you will be treated
The Top ten
Ways of Getting Arrested Cops are always on patrol looking for trouble, so, when doing something stupid, it’s your responsibility to make it look like you’re not doing anything stupid. If in doubt, try not to perform any of the following offenses. 10. Gun in a school zone: This is quickly becoming a problem at UGA. There have been two athletes arrested for it in the last three months (we miss you, Crow!). Guns are legal. The Second Amendment says you can have guns. Just leave them at home and wait until someone breaks in. Then you can blast away. 9. Urinating in Public: Peeing in public is both illegal and disgusting. It’s also the most common reason for arrest in downtown Athens. If you’re going to pee outdoors, make sure you trek into the woods a bit. Animals don’t care if you pee in the woods. They do it all the time. 8. Fighting: Fighting will get you noticed in a hurry. If you have to fight, try to do a West Side Story-style fight. This will cause the cops to join in on your song and dance number instead of beating the shit out of you. Not getting the shit beaten out you is important in life.
as royalty in that office. Fail to pay your fines and you will be treated like the scum of the earth. It’s all about that money, baby. Probation tends to feel like a massive boulder sitting on your arm. So, take a note from Aron Ralston and use a pocketknife to start slicing through arteries and veins. Metaphorically at least. Probation is painful, but it’s necessary, unlike your left arm. Aloha Counseling Center: As a consequence of your arrest, it is a guarantee that you will be required to complete an alcohol evaluation. These evaluations, without fail, declare you to be a raging alcoholic and “for your benefit,” will force you to complete a certain amount of hours of substance abuse counseling. The place to go in Athens is Aloha Counseling Center. Tim Reilly runs Aloha and he is a great dude who will treat you with respect. The class isn’t boring and most of the time a movie viewing takes place, and not the mind-numbing alcohol instructional videos you are imagining. The amount of classes one must attend varies depending on what dumbass mistakes you made on your arrest night. SLC: The chances of you landing on the Dean’s List the semester of your arrest are pretty much zero, but the Zell B. Miller Student Learning Center is essential to remaining a student. Getting arrested is a big blow, but failing out of school directly after is the equivalent of an atomic bomb being dropped on Rhode Island. It will destroy your life, and nobody will seem to notice because you are tiny and do nothing useful. If you are perfectly content with a degree from DeVry Online, then don’t bother going to the SLC, but for you criminals that actually want a job in the future, make yourself familiar with the Student Learning Center. To be clear, The Black Sheep has absolutely zero criminals on staff. To write this instructional piece we performed some light infiltration of the justice system for your benefit, so when you’re riding in the back of that paddy wagon, remember this article. You can thank us later.
7. Selling/Possessing Drugs: People love drugs. That can be accepted as an undisputed fact at this point. Cops, however, do not love drugs. In fact, they do not like them so much that they’ll arrest you on the spot for having them. 6. Fake ID: Fake IDs are a necessity for the youngsters these days and cops know this. They have their head on a swivel looking for the things. And by head on a swivel, I mean they are sitting outside of Bourbon Street waiting for dumbshit freshmen to tax. 5. Public Nudity: Public nudity is a classic for a reason. If a cop sees a swinging dong, he’s got to deal with it immediately. After all, a free range dong will contaminate the air, dongifying everything in its direct vicinity. A loophole with public nudity, though, is if you play your cards right, and say enough insane things, you may get taken to a mental asylum instead of the county lockup. Fingers crossed. 4. Setting Fires: Arson is frowned upon, almost globally, and for good reason. Fires are bad. They engulf entire structures in deadly heat and rise into the sky, like a phoenix taking flight in all its majesty. Check that. Fires are sick. Set more fires. 3. Theft: In the days of Hammurabi, they would cut off your hand for stealing (the good ole days). That was a pretty effective deterrent. Now you’ll only be arrested, which still sucks, but, you know, you still have your hands. 2. Open Container: Cops have some sort of honing beacon for open container. It’s like they have some sort of sensor that tells them whenever someone steps into a public area with a drink in hand. They will swarm on you like a pack of hyenas on a gazelle carcass. 1. Challenging a Cop: Cops are on power trips. They do not like to have their power threatened or challenged. Cops also have legal authority to kick your ass. By deductive reasoning, if you challenge a cop, he will kick your ass. Furthermore, all other cops within earshot of the altercation will come and kick your ass. Then you will be arrested and all the cops will testify that your broken coccyx and ruptured spleen were a result of you bumping your head while getting into the cop car. You don’t want to be the battered wife of a cop.
uga staff wrote this
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bartender of the week Alex E Flanagan’s Major?: Finance and accounting Year Student?: Recent graduate— 5th year Relationship Status?: Depends on who’s asking.
decided to come down and take a nap on the Half-Moon bar... halfnaked. Which Disney character would you most like to hook up with?: Jasmine from Aladdin. Smokeshow.
What’s your favorite: My favorite drink is easily Flanagan’s signature, “The Irish Car Bomb,” which is a shot of fine Irish whiskey and Irish cream dropped in a 1/3 pint of Guinness, and enjoyed all at once.
Would you rather be able to fly or have X-ray vision and why?: Definitely be able to fly. I don’t think I’d want to have to see through a lot of people’s clothing.
Favorite shot (and how you make it)?: My favorite shot has always been Liquid Cocaine: Straight mixture of Jager, Goldschlager, and Rumpleminz. Tastes like you just got run over by Santa’s sleigh.
What’s the worst pick up line you’ve ever heard in the bar?: Girl: “How much do you think I weigh?” Guy: “Um... I don’t know.” Girl: “Not enough to hurt you if I sit on your face.”
What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve seen on the job?: I came in to work a Half-Moon Pub shift and a customer from upstairs had
Which Olympic athlete would you most like to take on a date?: ALEX MORGAN. Have you never seen her full-body paintings?
the drinking game
Candyland So maybe we’re trying to hold onto our childhood, or maybe we just find pleasure in corrupting childhood games. Either way, this game is bitchin’. What You’ll Need: Candyland board game, alcohol of your choice, beer. Number of Players: 4 Level of Intoxication: You’ll be trying to get Princess Lolly and Queen Frostine to skinny dip in the Ice Cream Sea. How to Play: - Set up your Candyland board game and stack your shuffled cards together in a pile. - Set up four shot glasses and four cups of beer. - Players must choose a color that will remain theirs for the rest of the game. - First player must draw a card and move to the closest corresponding color. - If the color on the card matches the player’s color, they can move ahead to the closest square of that color. This player also chooses one other player to chug a beer, one second for each square the piece moves forward. - If the color on the card is not their color, they must move backward on the board to that color and chug beer for one second for each square the piece moves backward. - The player then sits on that color until they pull their color, taking a shot every turn they don’t. The Game Ends When: Someone reaches Candyland or someone gets Gloppy all over the board.
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The Notebook or The Last Song?: The Notebook. Easily the greatest middle school make-out movie of all time. If you were some type of alcohol, what would you be and why?: I’d be Kina Lillet. Secret ingredient in the most bad-ass drink order of all time, the Vesper. Just ask Sean Connery, Roger Moore, Pierce Brosnan, my dad, et cetera. Have you ever had to break up a cat fight? Or did you just sit back and enjoy the show?: Breaking up a cat fight is really against everything that is considered proper male protocol. I’m pretty sure we promote this form of entertainment... Ever heard of Jell-o wrestling?
Recipe for Disaster
Cereal Fruit Pie It’s hard getting away with eating dessert for breakfast, but lucky for you we’ve come up with an airtight recipe that will have you cramming sugar down your gullet on a daily basis. What You’ll Need: Fruity Pebbles, strawberries, cool whip, butter, plastic bag, 9 inch pie pan. Cook Time: 30 minutes Fatty Factor: You’re basically eating a stick of butter, so take that for what it’s worth. Let’s Get Baked: - Fill a large plastic bag with Fruity Pebbles. - Smash the bag until all the cereal is crushed to little pieces. - Combine ½ cup of butter with the cereal in a bowl and microwave until the butter is melted. - Stir until all the butter and cereal is one hot primordial soup. - Take your “pie crust” and lay it down on your buttered or non-stick pan. - Place in a 350 degree oven for about 10 minutes, take it out and let it sit for another 10 minutes. - Once cooled, fill the crust with cool whip. - Pop in some cut up strawberries or preferred fruit. - Dig in! You might think because it has the word “pie” in it that it must be a dessert. Well, it also has the word “cereal,” and therefore you can eat it for breakfast!
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From the Streets
[PartyPics]
Got a question you want us to ask? FTS@theblacksheeponline.com
What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve seen in Athens? “I once saw a man in nothing but his boxers passed out on the window sill of Starbucks.” -Mackenzie Kruse, Freshman, Accounting
“I saw a girl kick a guy in the groin so hard that he passed out on the floor of the girls’ bathroom.” -Margaret Serletti, Junior, Spanish/Education
“The other day I saw two girls sunbathing at 2:00 in the afternoon, on the lawn, in front of Brumby.” -Ojaswa Prasad, Freshman, Biochemical Engineering
send your party pics to pics@theblacksheeponline.com
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Contraceptives, and Why They’re Better Than Your BFF
page 12
molly forrest wrote this Are you sick of having to compromise your naps for loud, petty arguments in your apartment? Is talking shit about your friends more entertaining than actually being with them? Are you ready to try out the role of the drunken asshole instead of your usual babysitting gig? If you said yes to any of these questions it is time to get acquainted with your new BFF, the contraceptive. Unlike friends, contraceptives will never beat around the bush. They expose their flaws upon introduction, “Hi, I’m Connor, the condom, and I have a fifteen percent chance of failure.” You know in advance your chances of getting screwed over and exactly how your free-spirited lifestyle will be ruined. Contraceptives would never cheat on you or drink all your alcohol. They don’t steal the leftover pizza you clearly marked with your initials from the fridge or go out to the bars without you when you’re having a bad night. Their sole purpose in life is to serve you, the center of attention. Contraceptives know how to let their friends down easy, and their sense of honesty is refreshing. Contraceptives are also infinitely more supportive and accepting than your other friends. They encourage your bad behavior, while protecting you from yourself - because without your drunken stupidity, they really don’t have much purpose. If casual sex is your niche, contraceptives don’t judge your track record while keeping you from being a
spouse. If you are more of a relationship person, they keep that bond at sugar daddy level rather than starting baby daddy drama. When a contraceptive is a friend of yours, you are allowed to play God. Contraceptives, unlike people, are at your disposal. You can bring one into your life as fast as you can take it out. Even if you completely neglect them, they will still stick by your side. You either can dabble with them daily, or use ‘em and lose ‘em. Neglect them for four days, they come crawling back as soon as you need them, with backup. Too lazy to keep up with the relationship? No problem. Seventytwo hours is plenty of time to achieve contact. They adapt to your way of life and your needs. They also give you the power to (slightly) control the outcome of your sexual encounters. Don’t feel like having a child so soon? Pretty positive you won’t fall victim to Immaculate Conception? Slide on a rubber and BAM, you’re in control of your destiny. The next morning, send down an extra lightning bolt of power and pop in a Plan B pill. Gossip and rumors are nonexistent in plutonic relationships with contraceptives. Your secrets are most definitely safe with them. Catching an STI but still getting your freak on is definitely on the hush-hush. You are two weeks late and not yet ready to tell the world about your surprise. Don’t
worry, it’s completely confidential. Your hook-up buddy for the past few weeks was your cousin? Top secret. Good company is also ideal in a friendship. Contraceptives will get closer to you than anyone you’ve ever met. They are like a divine being from the heavens, always with you even if you don’t feel their presence. They take your insides to a whole new level! Good friends also keep the party going, and with contraceptives one-night stands and irresponsible hookups keep the party on. Your risqué behavior has no risk. Your whorish ways are accepted here, friend. If you haven’t embraced contraceptives by now, you aren’t fully living. They are your soul mates and life partners, and without them you just aren’t complete. You will never find a more honest, accepting, forgiving, fun, and true friend. With them your life in Athens will not only improve, but flourish beyond your wildest dreams and sexual fantasies.
. M E H T E ! T S A C I H P Y R T O R A P M R E LEOTVEMEBTARHASSED OR BECOME INFAMOUS. SPIECNS@DTUHESBYLAOCUKSHEEPONLINWEE.CBSOITME! G UR O H G U O R H T R O P P A . R D E IA OU V K & A N T E M G O R .C E O N , I L Y N R O P C E , E H H LAUG THEBLACKS (WAIT, WHAT?)
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WWJD, Phi Slam?
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Sarra Sedghi wrote this Our superiors always try to make it sound like God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit condone our actions when it comes to partying. “God knows what you’ve been up to. What would Jesus do? Save room for the Holy Spirit!” Phi Slam follows this philosophy. For all you freshmen out there, Phi Slam is a fake Christian fraternity (what does the Greek letter for “slam” look like again? I can’t remember) known for its parties. What they don’t tell you is that these parties serve no alcohol and if you stand awkwardly by yourself for too long, somebody will inevitably approach you and tell you about Phi Slam’s praying schedule. Phi Slam also has an array of sexually divided activities enthusiasts can take part in—while the guys get to partake in activities such as ultimate Frisbee and flag football, girls are limited to Bible study. Seriously. If you don’t believe me, you can take a look at their website. But don’t think the folks at Phi Slam are a bunch of saints, because they recently did something that Jesus would not do. This past Friday, Phi Slam had a nautical-themed party—a “Gnarly Nautical Knockout,” to be exact. Phi Slam only has a few parties a year, and already hosted a back to school party a few weeks ago. Why would they have another party on such short notice and so close to the one they just had? Well sure, merriment was probably considered. However, Phi Slam had an ulterior motive. Sorry guys, Phi Slam wasn’t completely interested in making sure you had a great, sober, Christian time Friday night. You see, Phi Slam wasn’t the only party going on Friday night, and it certainly wasn’t the only party that had anything
to do with the ocean going on. Phi Slam copied another party, which explains those odd aspects of theirs—the short notice, the vague instructions for attire, the short hiatus between this party and the last one. After adopting its competition’s theme and date, Phi Slam added bro jargon to the title of their event, subtracted the premise of alcohol, and flipped the crosses over again. And Phi Slam liked this, and said it was good. Phi Slam’s decision to compete with this party is understandable. I believe Jesus would have wanted to throw a better party too. But to outright copy an idea and throw the imitation party at the same exact time? Whatever happened to “Thou shalt not steal?” Jesus said that, right?
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Anyway, why is Phi Slam so against partying anyway? True partying, not fistpumping and listening to Skrillex. If there was any main character in the New Testament who liked to party, it was Jesus. That guy turned water into wine for a reason. Those miracles Jesus performed didn’t just help people out – they gave Nazareth reasons to celebrate and were great stories to tell at parties (“Hey Jesus,” Peter gushed, “tell Mary about the time you walked on water! She doesn’t believe it!”). Even when he knew he was about to die, Jesus threw the greatest dinner party ever and gave Catholics an excuse to drink in church. Why do you think one third of the guy is called the Holy Spirit?
$1 TUESDAYS RSDAY U H T $1 COVER $3 COVER S T O H S $1 HOUSE $2 PBR D N A IP V 1 2 FOR $3 WELLS S E C N A FLOOR D ALL NIGHT DAY FRIDAY & SATUR UNTIL 8PM DANCES 2 FOR 1 FLOOR
Phi Slam, we get that you’re trying to help people out. But please don’t act like your parties change people’s lives. Nobody can top the ultimate partier of all time, Jesus Christ himself.
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the Seek and find
how many can you find?
the classtime
Mansion. Apartment. Shack. House.
Best Man: • Bob Barker • Bob Costas • Bob Ross • Bob Marley
Wedding Entertainment: • Synchronized Swimmers • Soulja Boy • Salsa-Making Instructors • Sammi Sweetheart
Unfortunate Incident: • Parasailing Accident • Poop’s Oneself • Pregnancy • Painkiller Addiction
Maid of Honor: • Heidi Montag • Heidi Klum • Heidi Fleiss • Hawt Heidi, the local stripper
Honeymoon Destination: • Falluja, Iraq • Fat Camp • Fort Wayne, IN • Fantasty Factory
Career Path: • Meth Cook • Marriage Counselor • Master Gardener • Maid
Wedding Caterer: • Chick-fil-a • Church’s Chicken • Chili’s • Crock Pot Potluck
mode of transportation: • Jetski • Jet Boat • Just Walkin’ • Jalopy circa ‘91
Claim to Fame: • Found Alien Life • Famous Zucchini Bread • Fruit Basket Tattoo • Flimsy Arms
some dots on the page until a friend (or your brain) tells you to stop. Starting with M.A.S.H., go around the board crossing off whatever How to play Doodle option corresponds with your number. Go around the board until only one of each category is left. That, my friend, is your future. Enjoy it.
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campus director Brendan Bonham owner Atish Doshi Founders Atish Doshi, Brendan Bonham, Heather Jo Erickson, Jimmy DeBlasio, Jessica Sommers, Ethan Cunningham, Ali Misner Questions? info@theblacksheeponline.com Advertising? ads@theblacksheeponline.com Hate Us? lame@theblacksheeponline.com
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Disclaimer The Black Sheep in no way promotes, encourages or supports binge drinking, and/or under-age drinking. This newspaper is designed for entertainment purposes only and does not recommend attempting anything printed in this publication. Please drink...responsibly and legally.
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