Georgia Fall Issue 5 - 9/13/2012

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The Black Sheep Fr

ee

.... l fl ike p or o id int a at s sc la o nt re ic. d o

n

• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •

Volume 3, Issue 5 9/13/12 - 9/19/12

theblacksheeponline.com @blacksheep_UGA

seven creative ways

to get free stuff in athens jess allen wrote this

College students are broke. Between buying drinks downtown, getting a new outfit for every football game, and late night runs to The Grill, budgets are tight. It’s especially difficult since good jobs are few and far between, so most of us are making minimum wage. Unless you are working 70 hours a week, that’s not going to cover more than rent. So, here’s a little list to help ease the pressure on your budget. Play the field: Check out the UGA Student Org website and go to every first meeting for every single club. Of course you’re not actually interested in saving the local possum population or talking about “hot button” issues, but almost every student organization has free food at the first meeting. Be prepared to eat a lot of pizza, but there are a few groups that will spring for something awesome like Barberitos. And that’s how you’ll decide which groups to be involved with for the rest of the year. Bonus points also go to clubs that provide donuts or especially, alcohol. Act the part: Invest in a pair of scrubs. Solid colors, patterns, panda bears—it doesn’t matter what they look like, just buy them. Then, go to the Jittery Joe’s near the hospitals, look at your watch a lot, and order regular coffee “because you just don’t have time for anything else.” The poor, confused hourly workers will think you are a doctor late for surgery, and you are NOT going to correct them. If you act impatient enough, they will just give you the coffee. They will feel like they just helped save a life, and you’ll feel like you have two extra dollars. Cleavage: Girls, grab your push-up bras. Guys, grab…uh…your girlfriends’ push-up bras and a tub of fried chicken, you’re going to need to bust out the moobs. Saunter in to a place of business and flaunt the puppies like there’s money to win. If the cashier can’t take his eyes off of your chest, then he won’t see you sliding that pint into your purse. Credit or debit? You’ve never heard anyone say this before, but panhandling is your friend. Put on your grossest outfit and head downtown. As long as you watch out for the other hobos and don’t infringe on their territory, you will be golden. This will be an especially lucrative tactic if you stand outside the bars on weekend nights

bud light platinum: aweslove story. has found a new lover,

the young, spunky, and ever evasive blp.

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and get all the drunk people to feel guilty about their privilege. Their vision will be so blurry that they will just give you their debit card. Don’t forget to ask for their PIN number! “All I’ve got is change”: Knock over parking meters. This one might be kind of tricky, but the payoff is well worth it. The Coinstar at Kroger won’t even be able to handle how rich you are about to get. Reciprocity: Date someone on meal plan and force them to steal food from the dining hall for you. It doesn’t matter what they look like—it would be worth hooking up with Andre the Giant or a Dementor if you got free meals out of it. Make sure they rotate dining halls to take advantage of the many options. If you aren’t simultaneously eating pizza from Snelling, stir-fry from O House, and

what’s inside

a smoothie from ECV, they’re doing it wrong. You don’t need anything from Bolton. No one ever needs to eat at Bolton. Steal: Okay. Maybe “creative” isn’t the word we’re going for here, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Having a hard time justifying this to your friends? Politely ask them, “Would you criticize a man for stealing bread to feed his hungry family?” When they say no, throw the mascara you pocketed at them, while screaming, “Well, you need this more than I do then!” Follow the tips above and watch your overdrawn bank account skyrocket past zero into “I can afford to eat like a king! Pizza rolls for all!” territory. Everyone will love you and your new monetary methods.

top ten movies you wish would play at tate.

we interview: abx from the hood internet

star wars episode iv, on repeat.

his idea for a pizza topping will blow your mind...

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Georgia Fall Issue 5 - 9/13/2012 by The Black Sheep - Issuu