The Black Sheep Fr
ee
.... ut like k’s bu ex tt pe jo ns ke e! s a t
• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
Volume 3, Issue 8 10/4/12 - 10/10/12
theblacksheeponline.com @blacksheep_UGA
Surviving Night Games the Right Way Katie Weimer wrote this “IT’S SATURDAY IN ATHENS!” In Athens, these are everyone’s favorite words to hear. Earlymorning computer checkups reveal these words splayed all over Facebook and Twitter, and they’re being yelled at you as you innocently walk down the street. It means tradition, football, hamburgers… oh yeah, and getting good ole’ Georgia drunk. The only thing that can make these words better is adding in “night” after Saturday. Waking up from a long Friday night out and having to go stand in 90+ degree weather, halfdrunk (from the night before obviously), half hung-over and chugging from a flask is no fun task. But night games? It’s as easy standing out there as it is to beat Florida Atlantic. Even though your skin won’t be boiling off your bones, there’s another hidden culprit, a double-edged sword if you will. While you may be able to flaunt your sexy half-red half-black Bulldogprint pants, wear your gameday dress and drink all day long, you’re still drinking all day long. All. Day. Long. Like, for real. So how does one avoid the night game alcohol poisoning that can so easily steal your dignity and ruin your Saturday? It’s a tricky business, but if you take a look at the schedule below, you can save yourself from the fate of that guy who’s passed out in the stands, the stadium lights shining cruelly into his half open eyes. 11:00 a.m - Wake up. Shake off that hangover by downing some bacon, an entire box of cereal (don’t bother with milk, just use the bacon grease) and a mimosa (one part orange juice, most parts champagne). 11:30 a.m. - Now that you’re feeling a little bit more like yourself and you’ve got some alcohol in you, it’s time to hydrate. Drink ALL the Powerade! (Maybe with some vodka mixed in) 12:30 p.m. - Time to shower so you can resemble a normallooking human being and throw on that red and black. Obviously with a beer in hand. That’s what the ledges in showers are for, right? 1:30 p.m. - Soak up some of that alcohol with a bread sponge and take some water shots. Your liver will take mercy upon you. 2:00 p.m. - Pull out that beer pong table and get ready for
frat house hallucination
i wonder where that frat did go... a frat, a frat, a fratty-oh!
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some pong and flip cup! By this point you won’t be cognizant enough to realize you shouldn’t be drinking that water cup used for rinsing off balls from the ground. At least you’re hydrating! 4:00 p.m. - After a few riveting games of pong, head over to North Campus. Since you’ve been taking pretty good care of yourself, you’re nowhere near as drunk as these guys you don’t know who are offering you free food. With a hot dog in hand, nothing else matters. Bonus points if you can convince some rando that he should let you funnel some of his beers.
what’s inside
a guy’s quest to appear on tapthatugaguy. how long does a guy have to
nonchalantly pose on the bus to get his picture taken?
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6:00 p.m. - Walking to the stadium. The most sacred of walks. Double fisting that hunch punch in one hand and straight vodka in the other, and chugging before you have to show your ID. And you know what, champ? You’re going to survive this game. You drank while taking care of yourself through that field of day drinking that is rougher than Mordor. Now go forth my drunken children and look lowly upon those passed out in the stands, content in your knowledge that you’re better than them.
bartender of the week
A bachelor party offered blake a. from flanagan’s $300 to go to toppers. did she go? read on and find out!
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contents page 4: skipping class for sukkot the jewish faith has more holidays then it does members, it’s time to get on board!
Questions? Comments? Compliments? Insults? info@theblacksheeponline.com
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page 5: top ten: things to do with time travel.
Table of
an no, have sex with all your exes didn’t make the list
page 11: from the streets what’s the most embarrasing thing that’s happened to you at uga?
page 13: The Black Sheep Interviews Zedd This music maker talks parallels between Skrillex and Justin Bieber.
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word of the week
Disshertation: Any longwinded, angry diatribe one woman makes towards another woman.
“Lisa’s disshertation on Theresa’s formal dress got her over 300,000 YouTube views and one lost Facebook friend.”
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Skipping Class for Sukkot Sarah Everett wrote this As we head into midterms, one thing has become increasingly clear: We just really don’t give a shit about class anymore. Sure, you started out the semester with valiant intentions of only going out on the weekends and getting a 4.0 for the first time ever, but all of those lofty goals are now long-gone. At this point, you’re looking for any and every reason to miss class. Some may consider it desperate, but I for one am not above exploiting my Jewish heritage and using religious holidays as an excuse to skip a lecture. You really can’t lose here. As per University policy, professors are required to be “understanding” of their students’ religious practices. You can interpret that as you will, but I understand it to mean that I’m free to miss class in observance of my faith and suffer absolutely no repercussions for it. As a semi-professional truant, I encourage not only my Jewish brethren to miss class for religious holidays, but my goy friends as well. Hopefully you established (or faked) your Jewish-ness earlier in the semester by skipping class for the High Holidays (that’s Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, you shmendrik). If so, congrats, you have laid the groundwork in letting everyone know that you are Jewish—not just culturally, but for-reallike-actually-doing-Jewish-things Jewish. If not, don’t fret: There are seriously more Jewish holidays than there are actual Jews, so you have plenty of upcoming opportunities to remind everybody that you are one of the chosen people. Whether you’ve been strictly observant, are just starting to embrace your Jewish roots for the sake of skipping class, or are simply faking it, the next such opportunity is the holiday of Sukkot. So, here are the basics: Sukkot, meaning “Feast of Tabernacles,” is the weeklong holiday beginning at sundown (for the non-Jews: Virtually every holiday begins at sundown—commit it to memory. I think we used to be vampires or something) on Sunday, September 30. The cool thing about Sukkot being a week long is that you can kind of pick and choose, a la carte-style, which days you’re going to skip class in observance of the holiday. Already in class as you’re reading this? Mumble something to your professor about what a shlemiel you are for missing shul and dip the fuck out. If for some unfortunate reason your professor decides to question you about your religious activities (in which case you should imply that your prof is an anti-Semite—that’ll shut him up real quick),
you should probably have at least a vague understanding of the holiday. In short, Sukkot commemorates the 40-year period that the Jews spent wandering the Sinai Desert after their exodus from slavery in Egypt. The word “sukkot” actually refers to the fragile structures in which the Israelites dwelt during their years of wandering the desert. To up your Jewish ante, you should try to casually inform everybody of your plans to go build a Sukkah on the front lawn of Hillel. Not like you’re actually going to go, but you should at least stroll by the Jewish student organization on Milledge for the purpose of Instagramming a picture of the Sukkah. When you finally do return to class and are asked how your Sukkot was, reply that there was some brokh, but that overall the week was a brokheh. Continue by saying that you look forward to receiving aliyah during Simchat Torah, which is the day after the conclusion of Sukkot and yet another occasion to ditch class. Hopefully by now you’re prepared to “celebrate” Sukkot. Chag Sameach, y’all!
Frat House Hallucination Jess Wise wrote this Here at UGA, we are almost as famous for our Greek community as we are for our football team. Whether you love them or hate them, the sororities and fraternities definitely have a strong presence on campus. I mean, it’s basically impossible to ignore them when over half of the student body walks around with t-shirts, water bottles, and croakies covered in Greek letters. Plus those houses on Milledge are gigantic. Good luck pretending those don’t exist. Because I’m not involved with Greek life, I have to say, I’m pretty much baffled by the whole deal. I don’t know what the different letters mean, I can’t identify one from the other, and I don’t know how to say them. Are Sigma Chi and SAE not the same thing? They both have Sigma in them! Also, what is a mixer, and why do they have so many of them? Is it like a cocktail party only for certain people? How do you decide which people get to go which time? Are the mixers always at one of the Greek houses? If two actual brothers are in a fraternity, how do I know they’re really related? These are things I’ll never know. The one thing I do have a handle on is where the houses are located—it’s hard to miss something with 17 bedrooms. Of course, most of them are on Milledge, and there are a few on River Road. But the one I am most certain of, the one I walked by every day for two years, was suddenly missing. Every day when I walk from my job to class, I would look over at that fraternity house and see if they had put anything out on the lawn, lit anything on fire, or whatever. So, at the beginning of this semester I set off on my merry way, looked over, and didn’t see the house. I stopped moving and then looked to my right and
my left. Where was it? Oh well, I thought, I’ve probably already passed it. I just wasn’t paying attention. This same ritual continued for an embarrassingly long time. Finally, after about a month, I started to think something was fishy. That fraternity house, my old friend from the past 2 years, was definitely not there anymore. I looked at the spot where I remembered it standing, and I was confused. It just looked like a small grassy patch with a parking lot next to it. Oh my God! Did I imagine it? Did it ever even exist at all? What a realistic hallucination! Determined to prove that I was not, in fact, mentally unbalanced, I got in my car one day and drove up and down Lumpkin Street, looking for some sign that the house had ever existed. I examined the grassy patch and the parking lot next to it. It seemed possible that a house could have fit there, but how did it disappear without me noticing? Of course, a number of scenarios came to mind. My first thought was that a gang of hipsters burned it down in an act of rebellion against “the man” and because it would be “ironic.” They probably rode their fixed-gear bikes over, pushed their greasy hair out of their non-prescription glasses, and lit thousands of matchbooks from bars you probably haven’t heard of. But I realized that hipsters would never be able to pull off that kind of stunt. Their pants are way too tight to successfully commit a felony. There’s no room for secrets. My next thought was that some rival school, probably Florida because they are the living worst, got upset by our team’s success and decided to exact revenge. Rather than going for some
obvious prank that we would recognize, they went supernatural and ordered their ghosts to repossess one of our fraternity houses. Maybe the house isn’t actually gone now—it’s just invisible. Damn! I forgot to check for that when I was snooping around. Finally, I asked one of my friends who is in a sorority, and I found out that the University simply bought the house from the fraternity so that they can expand on the land. That makes much more sense than what I was thinking, but it’s also infinitely more boring. They could have at least had a sword fight over it. So, the moral of this story is when hipsters and Florida students are the scariest things you can think of, the villain is always the administration. Screw the man.
The Top 10
Things to Do with a Time Machine We have not seen Looper yet, but we think that mob hits are an awful way to squander time traveling technology. Here’s what we’d do instead of provoke Bruce Willis:
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10.) Kill Hitler: Paradoxes and alternate realities be damned - it’s a universally agreed-upon rule that if you gain the power to travel in time, you kill Hitler. Period. If he still somehow manages to murder-rape Europe, everyone will call you a dick when you get back to the present.
FEATURING CHELSEA CHARMS BUST SIZE 164 XXX!
9.) Profit: There is no one among us who wouldn’t benefit from being disgustingly rich. Given the power to travel in time, we would get tomorrow’s lottery numbers and use the winnings to buy WWII bonds, which we would sell and buy Microsoft stock just before the boom. 8.) Freak Out Cavemen: Cavemen were stupid. How hilarious would it be to watch them run in fear from light bulbs, or hit cars with sticks? SO hilarious! 7.) Stop National Tragedies Before They Begin: We would punch Mrs. bin Laden in the ovaries, warn Pearl Harbor that shit’s about to go down, get Vernon Howell’s mom to get that kid in therapy and convince Snooki’s dad to pay for the abortion. 6.) Create Paradoxes: What would happen if we killed our great grandfathers before they had kids? Or handed an umbrella to the guy who was just about to invent the umbrella? Or stopped the unfair execution of a plucky young hippogriff? We don’t know, but we just bet it would be fun to find out! 5.) Dominate a Dinosaur: If you managed to tame and ride a triceratops like your own lizardy beast of war, you would basically win at life. You could name him Reggie Jackson and take him back to the future, where he would furiously defend his master and the President gives you his job because holy shit that guy tamed a goddamn dinosaur! 4.) Stop the World’s Most Notorious Villain: America still suffers today under the yoke of a totalitarian Russian government, put in place by the most infamous villain in history: John F Kennedy. With time travel, we would stop him before he has a chance to enslave all Americans and hand the keys to America over to Soviet President Brezhnev. Of course, we’d manage to pin it all on some mook from New Orleans, or something. 3.) Host Time Tours: The world has no shortage of Whovians, historians or creationists. Think of all the money you can make taking guided tour groups through the French Revolution! Think about having exclusive biography rights to the Bard! Think of how much fun it would be taking a fundamental Christian through the steps of evolution! 2.) Party Hard: Our country’s fun uncle, Ben Franklin, was known for being awesome. Imagine if you got him, Louis XIV, Roman emperor Nero, a couple Vikings, some Russians and Andrew Jackson at the same awesome party. Now imagine you got Smirnoff to sponsor said awesome party. Now go take a cold shower. 1.) Forrest Gump Photobombs: Old timey portraiture famously features modern celebrity lookalikes, like Anne Hathaway and Nicolas Cage. Noobs, we say. If we had the power to be anywhere in time, we would troll so hard. You would see us giving bunny ears to General Robert E. Lee and giving our best duck face behind Teddy Roosevelt. We would photobomb the holy hell out of war conferences and music festivals, and we’d even sneak into posed portraits of constitutional delegates. Then we’d sneak into the future and relish in the religions that will have been built around us.
The black sheep staff wrote this
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A Guy’s Quest to Appear on TapthatUGAguy Wes Allen wrote this I have no idea what the hell a Tumblr is, but I am intimately familiar with tapthatUGAguy. In the past two weeks I’ve browsed that site more often than my go-to porno pages. Yes, I was almost too embarrassed to write that last sentence, but I clear my history directly after to feel better about myself. It’s okay though, I have come to the conclusion that I am not the only one—the only member of the male UGA species, that is—that checks it on a daily basis. You are probably asking yourselves, “Why do college guys (who are very heterosexual... extremely heterosexual) want to look at pictures of other random dudes?” And that is a valid question. The simple answer is that guys who browse tapthatUGAguy fully expect to see themselves on the site. When that inexplicably fails to happen, we cannot believe that we have not graced that Tumblr with our beautiful masculinity. When I first heard about tapthatUGAguy, I scrambled home, opened my laptop, and guesstimated that at least four pictures of my strapping self had been uploaded for female viewing pleasure. My whole world began crumbling down as I viewed the very last picture, AND IT WASN’T ME. Just a quarterback or some lame shit like that. Naturally, I blamed the site’s co-founders, the mysterious duo Selena and Matilda, for taking abnormal classes and failing to gaze upon my irresistible features. After a moment of intense self-reflection, I realized that I had nobody to blame but myself. Let me clarify—in no way do I blame my magnificent facial structure or chiseled physique for not appearing on tapthatUGAguy. Being one of God’s finer creations, I know that He would promptly punish anyone who believed that nonsense. Instead, I laid the blame squarely on my daily routine. Since then, I have made major life sacrifices in the necessary quest of sharing my sex appeal with the world (/UGA students).
My first lifestyle change for tapthatUGAguy came in the form of transportation. Sure, I dropped a cool $350 for a parking spot in Hull Street Deck, but after thorough research I have determined that girls creep to their maximum potential on campus buses. It’s a scientific fact. Check tapthatUGAguy and tell me science is wrong. That’s why I ride buses all day, err day. “Oh, bus riding,” you say, “That sounds easy and weird.” I’ll admit that it falls into the weird category, but if you think bus riding is easy you can go straight to hell. Do you know how difficult it is to pose for pictures that for reasons unknown, fail to be taken? I have mastered every successful bus pose that I have seen on the site. Alas, to no avail. I am tired of looking like an old school Greek statue (with a larger penis) and not being internationally recognized by tapthatUGAguy. My second lifestyle alteration transformed my eating habits. No, I haven’t become Jared from Subway reincarnated—instead, I have been eating at the dining halls. For someone that is not on meal plan this has become a serious financial burden, but I am optimistic that my eating tactics will soon pay off. Hopefully in the form of a mouth-watering picture of myself eating chicken wings being plastered onto tapthatUGAguy’s Tumblr. I know everybody wants that image on a public website, so why it hasn’t happened yet is the second best question of 2012. The undisputed first being why Rob Dyrdek’s show Ridiculousness was renewed for a second season by MTV, when his stand up routine is on par comically with testicular cancer. Right, so Rob Dyrdek notwithstanding, for me the dining hall method is quickly becoming a double-edged sword. On one hand, I am gaining a stronghold in prime locations amongst the growing population of creeping females. But on the other hand, I am loving this fall weather and the fact that swimsuit season is a thing of the past. Playful weight jokes aside, somebody needs to take my fucking picture before I get diabetes.
If for some insane reason my bus riding and dining hall explorations do not procure me enshrinement for life in the annals of tapthatUGAguy, I am confident that game days in Athens will be my grace. Very recently I took out a substantial loan. The sole purpose of this loan being to allow me to buy expensively fly outfits from the University bookstore to rock on game days. I’m talking authentic jerseys, tight fitting pants speckled with bulldogs, crisp UGA dress shirts, and for the game day attire coup de grâce: a ridiculously expensive leather belt adorned with UGA logos. My god I looked so tappable in those dressing rooms. You know when a bride features multiple outfits on their special day? I’m going with that clothing approach, but this is GAME DAY in Athens, which easily trumps some inconsequential event like marriage. The bottom line is that I am running out of time to appear on tapthatUGAguy, and I see fall Saturdays as my launching pad to stardom. My quest to appear on that fateful Tumblr has been a backbreaking affair. I don’t encourage anyone to even step into my shoes, much less take a walk in them. Despite all the obstacles, I will continue on with my quest. I have eaten at too many dining halls, ridden too many buses, and bought too many game day outfits to turn back now.
The Grid Friday & Saturday Happy Hour 9pm -11pm! $2 Bud Light and Miller Lite
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Monday Night Football! $6 Yuengling & Solarita Pitchers $7 Bud Light Pitchers $8 All other pitchers $2 domestic bottles $5 Moonshine Margarita
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THURSDAY 10/4
$3 Pitchers $2 Wells
$2 Wells & Domestics $3 Wine, $3 Bacardi $4 Jack 3 Bombs for $10
Bomb Night $2 Cruzan Bombs $3 Jager Bombs $3 Bacardi Bombs $5 Moonshine Margaritas
$2 Speciality Martinis for Ladies $2.50 Yuengling for All Happy Hour 4pm - 7pm Adult Swim 10pm -11pm!
FRIday 10/5
Happy Hour 9pm -11pm! $2 Bud Light and Miller Lite
Happy Hour until 11!
$3 Domestics $3 Dawg Shots $ 4 Jack Drinks $5 Moonshine Margaritas
Happy Hour 4pm - 7pm: $1.50 Champagne and Domestic Bottles, $3.25 House Wines, Wells and Drafts, $1 Off (Almost) Everything Else Adult Swim from 10-11!
SATurday 10/6
Happy Hour 9pm -11pm! $2 Bud Light and Miller Lite
Happy Hour until 11!
$3 Domestics $3 Dawg Shots $ 4 Jack Drinks $5 Moonshine Margaritas
Adult Swim! 10pm - 11pm $2 Wells, Wines, and Domestic Bottles $2.50 Grand Marnier $2.50 Cazadores Tequila
SPECIAL NIGHT
SUNday 10/7
Sunday Funday!
Gruet Champagne Mimosas 15 Draft Beers all for $3.25 $2.50 Grand Marnier All Day!
Closed
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$1 Wells & Shots $2 Domestics 3 Bombs for $10
Monday Night Football! $6 Yuengling & Solarita Pitchers $7 Bud Light Pitchers $8 All other pitchers $2 domestic bottles $5 Moonshine Margarita
Bottomless Spinach Dip! $2 Wells Martinis $3.25 Specialty Cocktails Happy Hour 4pm - 7pm
tuesday 10/9
$2 All Bottled Beer
$2 Wells & Domestics $3 Wine, $3 Bacardi 3 Bombs for $10
Dollar Night $1 Shots/Shooters $1 Wells $5 Moonshine Margarita
Taco Tuesday! $1 Pulled Pork Tacos 7pm - 10pm 10pm - 2am: $2.75 Drafts Happy Hour 4pm - 7pm
WED. 10/10
$2 Wells $2 Domestics
$2 Wells and Domestics $3 Wine, $3 Bacardi 3 Bombs for $10
Ladies Night: $3 Martinis $6 Bottles of House Wine (White or Red) $5 Moonshine Margarita
10 Wings + A Pitcher of Yuengling or Heineken for only $10! 10pm - 2am: $2 Wells Happy Hour 4pm - 7pm
monday 10/8
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The Grid Happy Hour 4 - 10 P.M. Monday - Thursday Happy Hour 12-10 P.M on Fridays $2 Wells, $2 Domestics $1 Off Everything Else!
SPECIAL NIGHT
Everyday! Happy Hour 4pm - 11pm: $2 Drinks and Shots, $1.50 Bud Light
THURSDAY 10/4
Happy Hour 4pm - 11pm
Ladies Night! 11pm - 2am $2 Speciality Martinis $6 Wine Bottles
FRIday 10/5
Happy Hour 4pm - 11pm! $2 Tall Boys After 11PM!
SATurday 10/6
Happy Hour 4pm - 11pm! $2 Tall Boys After 11PM!
$2 Shot Specials
Happy Hour 9-11: $2 Wells & Domestics $2 Tall Boys ALL NIGHT!
SUNday 10/7
Closed
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monday 10/8
Happy Hour 4pm - 11pm! 11pm - 2am: $1 Wells, Drinks, Shots & Shooters
$1 Domestic Drafts $3 Wells
$2 Wells & Domestics $2 Tall Boys
Happy Hour 4-10: $2 Wells, $2 Domestics, $1 Off Everything Else Live Music!
tuesday 10/9
Happy Hour 4pm - 11pm! Koozie Night 11pm - 2am! $1 Tallboys $2 Drinks & Shots
$2 Wells & Domestics All Night!
$2 Wells & Domestics $2 Tall Boys
Happy Hour ALL DAY! $2 Wells, $2 Domestics $1 Off Everything Else
WED. 10/10
Happy Hour 4pm - 11pm! After 11: Karaoke with Kenny! $1 Shots, $3 Drinks
$2 Wells & Domestics $2 Tall Boys
Soup of the Day: Whiskey $2 Bourbon Happy Hour 4-10: $2 Wells, $2 Domestics, $1 Off Everything Else
Everyday! Happy Hour 5pm - 10pm: $2 Wells & Domestics
Everyday! $2 Tall Boys
$2 Champagne $3 Wells
Happy Hour 9-11: $2 Wells & Domestics $2 Tall Boys ALL NIGHT!
$2 Shot Specials
Happy Hour 9-11: $2 Wells & Domestics $2 Tall Boys ALL NIGHT!
Happy Hour 12-10: $ 2 Wells, $2 Domestics, $1 Off Everything Else Breakfast, Bloodies, and Brews (Only on Gamedays)! Complementary Breakfast Beer Specials & Bloody Mary Specials
$10 Bottomless Wine, $3 Wells
LADIES NIGHT! Soup of the Day: Vodka $2 Martinis, $2 Vodka Shots & Shooters Happy Hour 4-10: $2 Wells, $2 Domestics, $1 Off Everything Else
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The Grid Friday! Happy Hour from 4pm - 9pm $1.50 PBR
All Day, every day! $2 Natty Light Tallboys, $3 Crystal Lt. & Vodka Drinks $3 Margaritas, $3 Cuervo Tequila & Smirnoff Flavor Slammers
Everyday! Power Hour 9pm -11pm: $1 Wells, $4 Firefly Drinks All Night
Everyday: 2 for 1 VIP & Floor Dances till 8PM *All Night on Tuesdays
power hour daily! $1 Drinks & Shots until 11pm
SPECIAL NIGHT
$2.50 Stella Artois $3 Absolut Drinks
$2 Natty Tall Boys $3 Crystal Light Drinks Power Hour from 9-11! $1 Wells & High Life Drafts $2 Shooters
Power Hour 9pm - 11pm: $1 Well Drinks $4 Firefly Drinks All Night
$3 Cover $2 PBR, $3 Wells $4 18oz Coors Light 2 for 1 VIP and Floor Dances until 8PM
Book your socials for exclusive group deals!
THURS. 10/4
$1.50 PBR Happy Hour Specials from 4pm - 9pm
$2 Natty Tall Boys $3 Crystal Light Drinks Power Hour from 9-11! $1 Wells & High Life Drafts $2 Shooters
Power Hour 9pm - 11pm: $1 Well Drinks $4 Firefly Drinks All Night
2 for 1 VIP and Floor Dances until 8PM
Power Hour! $1 Drinks & Shots until 11pm
FRI. 10/5
$2.25 Doug Styles
$2 Natty Tall Boys $3 Crystal Light Drinks Power Hour from 9-11! $1 Wells & High Life Drafts $2 Shooters
Power Hour 9pm - 11pm: $1 Well Drinks $4 Firefly Drinks All Night
2 for 1 VIP and Floor Dances until 8PM
Power Hour! $1 Drinks & Shots until 11pm
SAT. 10/6
Closed
Closed
Closed
Closed
Closed
SUN. 10/7
$1.25 High Life Drafts $3 Fireball
$1 Wine Power Hour from 9-11! $1 Wells & High Life Drafts $2 Shooters
50% Off Everything!
No Cover! $4 18oz Coors Light 2 for 1 VIP and Floor Dances until 8PM
$1 Drinks & Shots
MON. 10/8
$1.25 High Life Drafts $3 Tullamore Dew
$2 Pitchers, $2 Wine $2 Moonshine Drinks and Shots Power Hour from 9-11! $1 Wells & High Life Drafts $2 Shooters
$2 Vodka Well Drinks $2 High Life Pitchers $4 Skinny Girl Cucumber Vodka Drinks $5 Wine Bottles $5 Bottles of Wine
$1 Tuesdays $1 Cover $1 House Shots $4 18oz Coors Light 2 for 1 Vip and Floor Dances ALL Night!
$2 Drinks & Shots
TUES. 10/9
$1.50 Off All Pitchers! $2.50 Lone Star Tall Boys $2.25 Doug Styles
$1 Wine $1 Crystal Light Drinks Power Hour from 9-11! $1 Wells & High Life Drafts $2 Shooters
$2 Well Drinks
$2 Cover, $3 Shots $4 18oz Coors Light 2 for 1 VIP and Floor Dances until 8PM
Ladies Night! $1 Wells
WED. 10/10
Power Hour 9pm - 11pm: $1 Well Drinks $4 Firefly Drinks All Night
Power Hour 9pm - 11pm: $1 Well Drinks $4 Firefly Drinks All Night
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theblacksheeponline.com
bartender of the week Blake A. Flanagan’s Status: Single Age: 20 Major: Digital broadcasting Favorite drink: Vodka, peach schnapps, amaretto, cranberry, and orange juice. Shot: Blue Curacao, orange juice, sour, and vodka. Worst drink: Anything with an excess of 151 in it. What’s the most disturbing thing you’ve seen on the job? A bachelor party came in and offered me $300 to go to Toppers with them. If you got a kitten, what would you name it? Pumbaa. If I found three, I would name them Rafiki,
the drinking game
chestbump
Pumbaa, and Nala. My goal in life is to have Lion King animals.
but I have never actually gotten puke on me.
What do you hate most about Athens? Parking. More than anything.
What’s your guilty pleasure? Dance Moms. What would you do if you were a member of the opposite sex for a day? Things I cannot say in print.
Which Spice Girl are you and why? Ginger Spice. She is an independent woman. That is a bad bitch right there. If you were a type of food, what would you be? A Klondike Bar, because people would do things for me. How do you react to getting hit on at work? The best way to deal with it is to say it’s against company policy to give out my number. Have you ever been puked on at work? It came pretty close,
Who would you switch places with? Blake Lively. What’s one thing you never want your mom to know about you? How many gross boob comments I’ve put up with from old guys. She would make me quit my job immediately! Which celebrity do you think has the potential to become the next Lindsay Lohan? Dakota Fanning started a little too early, so I’m afraid that’s a slippery slope for her.
Recipe for Disaster
Bacon Cholesterol Toast
This game may sound like it’s only made for frat bros, but if you’re a girl who can hold your own when it comes to beer, then feel free to join on in. This game will involve more stinky burps than a roadside truck stop.
If you don’t wake up every morning without a craving for greasy delicacies, then something is wrong with you. Just when you thought breakfast toast was just a crunchy piece of burnt bread, we found a recipe to change the world of morning meals.
What You’ll Need: Cups, four ping pong balls, and beer. Number of Players: Four if you want to go hard, more if you actually want to remember your night. Level of Intoxication: You’ll be buying shots for the undercover cops at the bars later on.
What You’ll Need: About a pound of bacon, bread, and some salt. Cook Time: Ten minutes. Fatty Factor: No amount of Cheerios is going to lower your cholesterol after this.
How to Play: - Have everyone pick a partner and sit across from them around the table. - Every player grabs one beer and divides it up between three cups arranged into a triangle in front of them. If you’re feeling competitive up the ante and play will full cups. - On “Go,” everyone bounces a ping pong ball across the table to their partner. The receiver has to bounce it off his or her chest and get it into one of the cups in front of them. - If your partner succeeds, he or she slides one of the beer cups over to the opponent on the right of them, who now has to chug its contents before continuing bouncing. - After a team has finished all of their cups, one last full beer is placed directly in the middle of the table. The team must double bounce the ball into the cup to win. The Game Ends When: The last beer has been finished and someone spews into the cups in front of them. Drink up, brah!
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Let’s Get Baked: - Grease up a frying pan and fry up all that bacon on your stove, preferably shirtless after a night of heavy drinking. - After all the bacon stops simmering and popping, remove it from the pan. Drop some bread in the pan with the leftover bacon grease and brown it evenly on both sides. - Once the bread is toasted remove it from the pan and sprinkle both sides with salt. - The way to eat it is up to you. We’re fans of creating a mega bacon weave and sandwiching it between a few slices of our cholesterol toast. Maybe grab some syrup and have some finger food dipping fun? Have 911 and a respirator on standby. You will have trouble breathing and your blood flow may slow down immensely. But it’s super delicious so at least the last thing you eat before you die will be totally worth it.
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From the Streets
[PartyPics]
Got a question you want us to ask? FTS@theblacksheeponline.com
What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you at UGA? “Somebody hacked my Facebook and made my status say I was proposing to my girlfriend. I had to explain what happened to everyone, including my family. My girlfriend was like, ‘What?’” -Ryan C, Senior
“I didn’t understand that I had to scan my hand to get into my dorm during my first few weeks here. I thought the door was opening magically, but the people behind the desk were just taking pity on me.” -Torre L, freshman
“I got off the bus at the wrong stop and then it started pouring. I was wearing white jeans, bright blue underwear, and Uggs. I went to the bookstore and my Uggs were so soaked I had to take them off and everybody in the bookstore could see my underwear.” -Claire M, Junior
send your party pics to pics@theblacksheeponline.com
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Super Spectacular Sparty OUT and About!!
Mountaineer Back on the Flame Train???
top stories The Hottest Stories Right Now! Fuzzy photos LEAKED of CHIEF ILLINIWEK at underground poker table! VCU’s Rodney the Ram denies accusations of horniness - Buster Bronco says he’s considering CHARGES!!!
SHOCKING!! So, Sparty the Spartan was seen sportin’ his skirt outside the stadium! A source close to us says he just “feels right” wearing the skirt, and might soon take on more feminine attire. OMGZ! Maybe after getting rooted by the Irish, Sparty is getting in touch with his boy-loving Greek roots!! Seeing him swing around night clubs in East Lansing in his skirt AND emerging stories of several student athletes seeing Sparty carry his pride into the locker room, might lead us to one FAB conclusion: gay! gay! gay!!! Sparty has long been seen with a perm frown on his face, BUT we’re hoping this revelation might leave him with a glamz smile! Go Sparty! We’re all on your team!!
Dead Doggies’ Dark Doo-Doo Demises
Wait till you hear who’s at it again! Last week the paps caught The Mountaineer deep in the woods of West Virginia burning a couch! Fresh out of pyromaniac rehab, The Mountaineer couldn’t live without getting his fix, and was reportedly “found rolling around in the mud, in a catatonic state… pupils dilated while muttering ‘longhorn’ under his breath.” Apparently The Mountaineer couldn’t take the pressure of another big game, and needed fire to relieve himself. We don’t want to cast judgment on The Mountaineer, but several other mascots have lent their support. The forever shiz-faced Iowa State University Cyclone tweeted “@Mountaineer yo iz kool wut u did bro, liv by ur one rolzze!!1 #livurLyf.” LOL looks like Cyclone has had one too many hurricanes!
Redbird Cy, Oh My!
Cavalier attitude nets night in jail for UVa mascot. Goldy Gopher, 3, Found dead in auoterotic asphyxiation mishap. PHOTOS INSIDE!! After sex change USC’s Cocky legally changes name to Pussy. MUST SEE BEFORE/AFTER SHOTS! Two years later, Rebel Black Bear admits mascot change “A trap” in interview with ET. What was the Clemson Tiger doing outside the Trophy Lust Club at 4a.m.?? The pap catches Syracuse Orange shopping in baby store!! Is s/he pregnant! EXCLUSIVE PICS!
Do all doggies go to heaven? Let’s hope so! Seems as though the party went a little TOO hard in Athens two weeks ago, especially after the Bulldogs beat the Volunteers by 7.
Seems as though The Parent Trap really is about some redheads, after all!!! We’re here to reveal a Peep Sheep EXCLUSIVE! An intense investigate has finally proven that ISU’s Cy the Cardinal and ISU’s Reggie Redbird are one in the SAME!
Early reports out of the coroner’s office suggest both suffered from chocolate sickness after bonging Hershey’s chocolate syrup into their little hound heinies! According to the Athens Animal Hospital Uga IX and Smokey IX were admitted to the emergency room at approximately 2:14a.m. with sever fevers. By 5:00a.m. both were pronounced dead.
Turns out, Cy (Real name: Crandall Berkowitz III) been the head worm-catcher of TWO nests!!! During the winter months leaves his hen and two chicks to fly south for the winter to Bloomington/Normal, IL to live in the lap of luxury with his other family, the Redbirds under the assumed name, “Reggie.”
Hey, college football studyboyz like Uga IX and Smokey IX are notorious for partying with fine bitchez, so don’t act like we didn’t see this coming. They will be thrown in a local incinerator on Monday, October 8th.
When questioned on the matter, Berkowitz III’s lawyer, Hyper-Chicken, declined comment. Turns out, birds of a feather DON’T flock together. They’re the same bird!!!!!!
Notre Dame Fightin’ Irish swears all boys-club was a “fight club.” What do you think!? USC Trojan can’t seem to get excited with NCAA sanctions. Say’s [the sanctions] are “too tight.” Puddles, the Oregon Duck, is splitz-ville the Horned Frog - did religion get in the way AGAIN!?!
the interview
zedd
If you haven’t heard the name Zedd, you have definitely heard his work. At twenty-three, having work with an ambit of major artists – from Baby Biebs to Skrillex – Zedd has produced several chart-topping beats. Stepping into the spotlight with a full-length album, Clarity, Zedd is an artist worth picking up on (and following on Twitter @Zedd). By Quinn The Black Sheep: You’ve produced and toured with some pretty major artists - do you prefer being behind the scenes producing beats, or working on your own? Zedd: It really depends. I obviously love doing my own music because I don’t have to please anyone with my music. With all my love and respect to my whole team - at the end of the day the only thing that matters to me is that I truly love something I did. If I do work for other people, especially major artists, there are so many people you have to make happy - compromises have to be made which I don’t like. At the same time I can try new things out if I work for other people that I would probably not have done for myself. TBS: You released Clarity to iTunes on October 2nd (October 9th everywhere). After a long list of singles and remixes, what made you transition to a full-length album? Zedd: You know, I really like releasing singles because you can put something out right after you finish it, and it’s still fresh and hot. Making a full-length album is very difficult, especially for us DJs who tour 24/7. Making an album is a huge commitment, but it also gives you the chance of expressing yourself in a way that is more detailed than you could ever do it with singles. If you put out a single all the attention is on one track. With an album you can very well show a wider range of yourself, make songs that would probably not be a good single, but a great album track, and fulfill a certain roll in an album - just like the tension is not constantly high in a movie, there’s ups and downs. I’m not talking about fillers; in fact I believe my album doesn’t have any fillers, but tracks can definitely tell a story in a context of an album that singles can’t. TBS: Any track you are particularly excited for on Clarity, or are they all equally awesome? Zedd: It’s very close to impossible to pick my favorite song. “Hourglass” is one of my favorite songs I’ve ever written in my whole life and... yeah ... it’s really just the whole album that I’m mostly excited about, more than particular tracks. TBS: How do you describe Clarity in comparison to your past work? Zedd: Well, I think to a certain degree it’s probably a little bit more adult and experienced. Where the focus sometimes has been on making a big club-hit before, the focus on this album is to make music that is so timeless you can listen to it in 30 years and still be proud of the musicality in it. TBS: How do you build songs? Like, how did you come up with mixing Skrillex and The Doors for “Breakin’ a Sweat?” Zedd: Usually I’ll just play around on a keyboard or piano till I come up with the melodic / harmonic part; mostly the chorus or the hook. Then I make the parts around it. With my “Breakn’ A Sweat” remix Skrillex asked me to do a remix so that was a no-brainer for me. TBS: When you play live shows, do you feed off the crowd or do you come in with a strict setlist? Zedd: It’s a good mix of both. I prepare for shows depending on where I play and what type of crowd is expected. But a lot of the times the crowd will be completely different from what you expect, and in that case I switch up things. I have certain routines but there’s never a strict setlist. TBS: Your parents are musicians, and you started studying classic piano at a young age - how has that influenced you? And how much do your parents love your music? Zedd: It influenced me very much because I’ve learned about music theory, and learned to play several instruments – that’s stuff I can use to make music that’s a little different from a lot of other producers. This doesn’t mean they’re better or worse; it’s just different and I like being different. My parents actually like the music! They’ve never listened to electronic music before but they like the “musical” part of my music more than the sound-design aspect. TBS: Of those major artists you’ve worked with, are there any weird similarities you find between them? Like, do Skrillex and Baby Biebs have anything in common that the layman wouldn’t know? Zedd: [Laughs] Well, the biggest similarities are that they all share the same passion: music! Skrillex and Bieber, I’d say, have fairly different personalities but they’re both very passionate about what they do in their own ways. TBS: Your Twitter is pretty hilarious - is that all you? Zedd: [Laughs] Thank you! It is all me - and probably sometimes a little bit too much of “me” but I enjoy not thinking too much about what I say there. TBS: Also on Twitter, your about me is “Shave it up,” what’s that about? Zedd: Illuminati man... It’s all Illuminati! TBS: What’s one thing you can’t tour without? Zedd: I can’t tour without shows! I really can’t!
the big three
entertainment-y things we’re all excited about.
Jersey Shore Season 6 Premiere Thursday, Oct. 4 at 10pm on MTV The final season of the cultural phenomenon made up of meatballs and meatheads is coming to a tearful end, the kind that only comes after six shots of vodka annd a drunk dial to mother. The dynamic of the house is different this time, however, with Nicole being 6 months pregnant. How will sober Snooki do in a house full of alcoholic maniacs? We can’t wait to see.
v/h/s In Theaters Oct. 5
This film, comprised of five short films, revolves around a woven narrative of a group of guys who break into a creepy house in search of one particular VHS. They then watch five, each of which is more messed up then the one before, and all terrifying as hell. V/H/S was available on iTunes weeks ago, so take it from us that this is one of the scariest movies you’ll see...except for those movies inside the movies.
mellowhype - numbers out oct. 9 Odd Future members Hodgy Beats and Left Brain team up to form the Los Angeles hip-hop duo MellowHype. With two studio albums already under their belt, not to mention plenty of features on Odd Future and Tyler, the Creator albums, and even a song on the Madden NFL 12 video game, these wacky dudes are certainly on their way to certified success.
mad swag
Would you consider yourself a trill OG? Are you down with that flow, yo? Are you reading this thinking, “Whoever wrote this is painfully white.”? Well, la-tee-dah. More importantly, can you decipher our Mad Swag? Below are several mondegreens -words replacing similarsounding words - of well-known rap lyrics. Can you figure out what these artists are sayin’? email us the title of the song the lyric is from to madgab@theblacksheeponline.com and if you get them all right, you’ll win a prize!
Lives ab i tch hand ten nude eye
Soup her intend dose egg a ninja sis
Hi loafed win ewe calming beak pop huh
So far ash soak lean
Rapper: Nas
Rapper: Notorious B.I.G.
Rapper: Notorious B.I.G.
Rapper: Outkast
Hue mice hunch tine
Hi got nigh tee nigh bro blooms
La booty bro Emma moth kin pawn star
Yellow bee distiller orgy
Rapper: Lupe Fiasco
Rapper: Jay-Z
Rapper: Kanye West
Rapper: Dr. Dre
Smock we derriere
Adjust dope lava truck
Icee herb toy French ate in lick an idiot
Doughnut even a views my ache
Rapper: Snoop Dogg
Rapper: Eminem
Rapper: Lil’ Wayne
Rapper: Ice Cube
the classtime
90’s music stars
Across
4) Sugar, salt, garlic, pepper, oregano 6) Don’t go burning ex-boyfriend’s houses down. 7) He’s a loser, baby. 9) Blue Ivy’s god mother’s. 11) Just like rain on your wedding day. 14) Wake me up when this crossword ends. 16) Mmm, they’re all married with kids now. 18) Not Tyler Perry’s. 20) Titanic pipes.
upstairs. 10) Recently toured with the original 80s boy band. 12) Somehow still competes with women half her age. 13) Holds the longest-running #1 song in U.S. history. 15) With certainty. 17) Ladies loved this ripped rapper. 19) 14 minutes and 59 seconds of fame.
Down
1) Bye, bye, bye to all but one, really. 2) Definition of 90s grunge, and plaid. 3) Rocked the bald look very well. 5) The OG white rapper, after Vanilla Ice of course. 8) Now she’s dancing with somebody
Answers
Six degrees of separation
Think you know how Blake Lively and Alex Baldwin are connected?
Send us your answer at classtime@theblacksheeponline.com for your chance to win a pretty awesome prize!
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Disclaimer
The Black Sheep in no way promotes, encourages or supports binge drinking, and/or under-age drinking. This newspaper is designed for entertainment purposes only and does not recommend attempting anything printed in this publication. Please drink...responsibly and legally.
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the classtime
Mansion. Apartment. Shack. House.
Wedding destination: • Dominican Republic • Dom Peditro, Brazil • Domino’s Pizza • Downtown Des Moines
type of cake: • Vegan Pomegranate • Cookie Cake • Oreo Ice Cream Cake • Your Sister’s Leftovers
career path: • Italian Chef • Telemarketer • Crab Fisherman • Car Wash Cashier
Token drunken attendee: • Mother of the Groom • Grandfather of the Bride • Maid of Honor • Midlife Crisis Priest
Honeymoon adventure: • Hammock Camping • Rain Forest Exploration • Jamaica, Queens • Mt. Everest
midlife crisis: • Buys Mercedes Convertible • Face tattoo • Plastic Surgery ala Heidi Montag • Mike’s Hard Lemonade Addict
Wedding entree: • Spaghetti • Chef Boyardee Ravioli • AYCE Soup & Salad • Frozen Lasagna
Pet acquired: • Bottle-nosed Dolphin • Common Marmoset • Maine Coon Kitten • Lice
Claim to Fame: • EDM Sensation • Becomes Facebook CEO • Breeds Kangaroos • Stops World Hunger
some dots on the page until a friend (or your brain) tells you to stop. Starting with M.A.S.H., go around the board crossing off whatever How to play Doodle option corresponds with your number. Go around the board until only one of each category is left. That, my friend, is your future. Enjoy it.
Pabst Blue Ribbon Always $1.50
Check out our weekend dance parties on the patio!