The Black Sheep FR
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... l do ike es a 3 an -0 s yo ta ne rt ca in f re oo ? .
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• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
Volume 3, Issue 3 9/20/12 - 10/3/12
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Behind the Plumage: The Reggie Redbird story Sevin Ketze wrote this
You know him as the enthusiastic mascot for Illinois State University, but what's Reggie Redbird like off the field? Field intern Sevin Ketze sits down with Reggie to talk sports, family, and his love of ISU. Sevin: Reggie, thanks for coming. Reggie: Sure. S: So, the Redbird football team is off to their best start in 21 years, with a 3-0 record so far this season. How's that make you feel? R: Doesn't make me feel anything. S: Excuse me? R: My job is to stand on the sidelines and wave and jump around and take pictures with people. S: Yes, but I thoughtR: Kid, I've been put to work here for thirty years, and I'm gonna be stuck here until I die or they kill me. I do what they ask me to do, and they give me enough food to live another day, and that's it. I don't care about the goddamn football record. I don't care about anything at all. S: Wow. I didn't expect—ummm...what do you think about the closing of Southside and theR: Still going, huh? Just gonna keep prattling on with your bullshit questions? Alright. Southside? Don't give a shit. Gunshots and armed robberies? Don't give a shit. Some professor retired, some team's doing well, some kid won a contest, and look how much I care. Look. (Reggie sits perfectly still and occasionally gestures toward his stillness) S: Maybe...we should reschedule this, until...umm... R: “UMMMM, UMMMM,” are you listening to yourself? You can't even keep up in an interview with a freaking bird. You think anybody's gonna want you on their news team? You're not a journalist, you're a goddamn sniveling joke. S: I do really well on my exams andR: Look, I'm sorry. I know you're trying. It's just a rough time of year for me. My family is all migrating south, and thanks to my lifetime contract I get to stay here all winter, alone.
Beyond Greek Life: Making Friends with GDIs
Who would want to do that? They're independents, god dammit.
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S: I thought cardinals didn't migrate. R: Alright, college boy, you caught me. She just left. Took the fledglings and just took off. S: Oh jeez, I'm sorry toR: I guess it was a long time coming though. I haven't been myself lately. Veterinary bills are piling up, and my therapist, well, he does his best, but maybe I'm just hopeless. Just another slave who can't be helped. S: Slave? What do you mean? R: I mean I'm a slave, you damn halfwit. That Abe Lincoln stunt was a good P.R. move, but it only applied to people. Birds, dogs, cats, anything else can still be owned, like we're nothing more than property. And nobody cares, so why fight it? This is my life, and nothing's gonna change it. S: IR: No, you stop talking. It's my turn. Nobody ever listens to
what’s inside
How to Train Your Dorm Tiger Didn't you see last issue's article on how to acquire a dorm tiger?
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the giant freak cardinal. You know, the average cardinal is around eight inches tall. I'm 6' 8”, and my job keeps me on my feet and forces me to jump around all day. Know what that means? It means I've got horrible skeletal problems. Hollow bones are great when you're small and light, but they're agonizingly brittle when you're as big as me. I'm in pain all the time, and I've got no health care, so what the hell. Why am I doing this, Steve? Why do I keep toiling away, pretending to be happy and to give a shit? I've been asking myself the same question for years now. I got nothing. I got NOTHING. So there you go. Are ya happy? Get what you wanted in the interview? (he clumsily removes his microphone, grabs his cane and limps quickly towards the door.) Tell my story, Saul. Tell the world. We had trouble running this interview, as it lacks in humor of any kind. But we couldn’t live with ourselves as journalists if we didn’t tell his story. Hopefully our relationship with Reggie isn’t ruined, and we can check back in with him at a later date. In the meantime, enjoy Reggie as he dances around on the field, show him you care… and maybe he will start to care again.
The Freshman Girl's Guide to Getting a Guy to Notice You at a Party step one: have boobs
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page two word of the week
Pic
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Bravadon’t:
An act of heroism meant to impress, resulting in embarrassing failure for the person in question. “Patrick’s had an act of bravadon’t when he broke his leg by jumping off of the roof.”
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Beyond Greek Life: Making Friends with Fellow GDIs Will Holloman wrote this So, friends, we really screwed this one up, didn’t we? All of the wrist pain from handling free beers to a frenzied crowd has gone to waste, and you got arthritis for nothing. And the farm animals you were forced to have (surprisingly pleasurable) sex with? Well, you just look really stupid since you have no friends to tell about. There’s good news and bad news about this situation: The bad news is that the term GDI isn’t just some painfully lame thing your mom made up when she was in a sorority. The good news? There’s a way to go about life without being a part of Greek life. Preface: This may sound insane, but there’s actually a way to make some friends without insisting that you become brothers or sisters. We call it “The Grand Scheme To Make New Friends Using Introductions” plan. Before you say, “No, I need letters to identify my friends and now that I can’t my life is over,” just give this a shot. Phase One: Head out to the quad or wherever you prefer to do your socializing. The key to choosing a location for finding new friends really depends on how cool you want your new friends to be. For example, if you like to read and do homework all of the time, head to the lame ass library and go have a circle jerk with some fellow nerds. A figurative one or a literal one, it's your call. If you’re looking for the coolest people around, head to the College/ Main underpass - those are the hippest kats in the 309, and we’re not mething around. To put it simply: look for friends where you'd normally hang out.
Phase Two: Once you’ve scoped out your potential new friend(s), start to slowly walk in their general direction. Think of it as an, “Oh, my class is over in that direction so I’ll nonchalantly walk there so I don’t seem too anxious to learn, because everyone will call me a dork,” type of walk, and not a, “Fucking taco salad for lunch? Really Will? Who was I trying to fool thinking that I could eat this and not have a shit storm in my cargo jorts?” type of walk. Phase Three: As you steadily walk in your target’s general direction, try and think of what you will want to say to introduce yourself as an easily approachable friend—and more importantly, how you will implement those nifty finger-guns in your introduction. Try and think of something about you that’s really cool but not too personal. For example, don’t approach them and say something like, “Hey what’s up?! When I was six years old, my brother tried drowning me in a bathtub!” because, you know, that’s kind of screwed up. Instead, try something like, “Hey what’s up?! When I was six years old, I tried drowning my brother in a bathtub!” You see the difference there? In the second one, you don’t come off looking like a pussy that almost drowned in a bathtub. But wait. What are you forgetting? That’s right; finger guns. Boom. Golden. Phase Four: Now you’ve done all of the work, and all you've got to do is let it sink in. But keep in mind, you've got to be careful of your stance, because your potential new friends are going to use that to decide if you’re a “kool cat” or a “diggity dandy dawg” or not. With that in mind, I'd suggest standing with your arms crossed with a bit of a lean. You know, show them that you’re already
pretty cool and that they’d just be an added bonus to your coolness. Then you can toss a wink their way. Hell, double down and wink with both eyes. The faster you do it, the faster it works. For real. Well, you’ve done all that you can do. If this doesn’t work, just rinse (the tears and snot out of the neck of your shirt) and repeat until you find the right friends. Remember the words of Benjamin Franklin: “If at first you don't succeed, try one more time with more finger guns. After that, screw 'em. I don't need to deal with no bullshit, I invented the goddamn radio.” That’s right, you invented the radio – great job!
The Top ten
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How to Train Your
Different Types of Fraternities
Dorm Tiger
Scoop Chang wrote this If you’re anything like our writing staff, you’re sad, lonely, and desperately need friends. But people are boring and don't have fur, and usually frown on friendly cuddling, so why bother talking to them? Get a pet instead! Unfortunately, ISU severely limits your pet choices. Here are your options: a goldfish, a pet rock, or a garden gnome. Psh. No one wants some crappy fish that needs to be fed every day and shits in all three dimensions, or a pet rock that’s just going to grow moss and commit suicide in a month, or a pretentious garden gnome keeping them up at night with their suspicious laughter. But worry not, because there's a great less-than-legal alternative: a tiger. Keeping one of these bad boys hidden in your dorm is guaranteed to lead to all kinds of great things. But first, you've probably got some questions. How do I get my tree-dwelling feline up to my room? After researching America’s best romantic spy comedies we’ve come up with a foolproof technique. Simply don a mustache and cover a rolling table with a white tablecloth. Restrain your tiger with a muzzle and chains (not rope, tigers are enraged by anything woven), and hide it in a cage underneath the tablecloth. Just give the front desk attendant a tip of your imaginary hat and ride the elevator up to sweet freedom. How do I house-train him? After your cuddly pal is safe within the confines of your prisonlike dormitory, let him out of his muzzle and chains and let him stroll around for a while. Once he's good and settled, start training him to use a litter box. All animals can be trained to go poopies in a box, but cats are the easiest. This stems from them being of Egyptian ancestry where they would just go poopies in the sand everywhere they went. Other animals like dogs and giraffes can be taught to go poopies in a box as well, but you have to whip
Every school has them, these organizations pride themselves on their brotherhood, philanthropy, and a level of debauchery that is rivaled by very few. For those interested in navigating the landscape of toga parties and keg stands, here's a short list of the most prevalent types. them a bit harder than cats. This probably goes without saying, but make sure your whip is made of the finest Corinthian leather, as all tigers have a nose for cheap leathers, and will take inferior whips as a grave insult. How do I keep him happy? Never cage your tiger, unless of course you have donned a mustache first. Also, tigers love to get drunk, so make sure to leave out a bowl of whiskey next to his water bowl so he never has to sober up and realize how shitty being a tiger is. Don’t neuter your tiger, or he may become upset and destroy your dorm as he searches for his lost balls. Cleaning up a little tiger semen every now and again isn’t as bad as cleaning up your bloody corpse. What if my tiger becomes depressed? Sad tigers are a lot like girls after a bad break up. They’re moody, hormonal, and will mess up anything that moves. If your tiger ever appears to be sad, hold him close while watching P.S. I Love You. Tigers have a lot of emotions that needs to be attended to. If he starts to cry then feed him lots of ice cream. This will make him feel fat, but happy. Feel free to rub his belly and tell him everything will be ok. Yes, this may seem crazy. And where do you get a tiger? You’re drug dealer probably has connections with exotic animal dealers – ask him! But once you get your tiger, with this advice in mind, keeping and training it should be easier than stealing a baby from a candy store.
The School of Hard Cocks mitch Vaginapun wrote this College is tough. You have to remember to eat, find a way to have sex without your roommates cock-blocking you, and find the right level of alcoholism where people still think a high tolerance is cool instead of depressing. And on top of all of that, there’s class. Book learning is hard, too. You have to figure out fractions, know how to read, and figure out a way to hold a pencil with two 40s taped to your hands. Thankfully, there’s always a way to turn a weakness into a strength—take that meaty Mentos roll out of your pants and use it to pass your classes. It’s Monday, 7:50 am. You wake up only to realize you have a huge boner and 10 minutes to get your class in the Femley Annex. There’s no way you’ll be able to navigate that maze in time, and science is boring as shit. What do you do? Use that boner for good. Call the nerdy girl in your study group. Tell her in exchange taking your clicker quiz for you, you’ll quiz her on “This is what a penis feels like.” She’ll say yes, because chicks are totally into you. Now get your ass back into bed and do the same thing for your next 3 classes. Sometimes notes aren’t enough to keep your grade up, though. When you’ve got homework to do, there’s no reason you can’t put that on someone’s shoulders in exchange for putting your schlong right next to it. Getting that Jabba the Hutt-eqsue girl to do your homework for you is worth giving her a little work below the belt. Just close your eyes and pretend she’s actually Jabba the Hutt. That’d be a great story. You could tell all your friends you did it with Jabba the Hutt and that he even let you wear that sweet gold bikini. They’ll be so impressed, they’ll probably be honored to do your homework for you! Just imagine yelling at the people on your floor to do your homework and/or have sex with you in Huttese. U kalle rah doe kankee kung. Sometimes, things can get really messy. When it comes down to it, you’re going to need to get that work delivered back to you. That’s where your roommates can help you out. You can either offer some loving to them, making them wear a penis suit and constantly proclaim how quick they are, but then you’d be
10) The Animal House: Your classic fraternity, they love to party and get wasted, and their bag of fucks is completely empty. It cannot truly be put into words how hard these guys rage, and how little they care about anything other than beer pong (and their GPAs reflect it). 9) The Meatheads: The meathead house comprises of either a particular sports team, an assortment of athletes, or hardcore jocks that lift a whole lot. A combination of steroids, alcohol, and cocaine often leads to some very brutal brawls. Going to their parties doesn’t always lead to a fight though, sometimes it ends with you getting trampled on the sweaty dance floor as the meatheads gangbang one of the super slutty girls hanging around. 8) The Southern Gentlemen: Girls love these guys for a reason - they have damn good manners, classic attire such as blazers and boat shoes, and have the money to back up everything they do. With that said, oftentimes the house is entirely white – by this we mean they are unabashedly racist and/or there is coke… everywhere. 7) The Bros: Most of the time these guys are just simple dudes trying to be frat gods, but their aviator sunglasses, pink shorts, and LAX jerseys do not make up for the fact that they don’t rage as psychotically as the other fraternities. Still, they're completely capable of pulling in some hot girls, so they’re a house worth noting. 6) The Normal Guys: There’s not much to say here. Their parties are pretty average, the girls that hang around are decent looking, and their hazing is unimaginative.. The Normal Guys are just a regular group of dudes that happen to be involved in a fraternity, and don’t really have a prevailing stereotype that defines them. Pretty boring, right? 5) The Stoners: One of the weirder fraternity types, it’s not entirely known as to why these dudes don’t just get a big house and smoke all day. But for some reason they pay the extra money to be a fraternity. They rarely, if ever, throw a real party, but if smoking and joking is your thing, then these guys make great company. 4) The Nerds: GDIs through and through, they treat their fraternity as if it’s a fucking Magic the Gathering club. Instead of pounding 40s down during a game of drink ball on a Friday night, you’ll find these fellas gathered around a table with some Yoohoos, circle jerking over Pokémon.
like all of the frats I’ve ever rushed for - and they’re all totally losers that I was way too cool for. Instead, just give your roommates a little peek of that love stick you’ve got slapping against your leg and they’ll go pick up your work to return the favor. Accidents can happen though, and you might need to get an extension if any of your wang trades fall through. There’s no better way to get your teacher to give you an extension than by giving her one back. If you’re good enough (or in some extreme cases bad enough) at sex, your teacher might just forget the whole assignment thing and tell that it’s okay, she’s seen smaller and not everyone can last a long time. If your professors won’t let you have sex with them, offer to have sex with those closest to them—loved ones, class favorites, other professors, or even random homeless people. She’ll see the kindness in your heart and the redness of your long-dong and won’t be able to resist. Either that r you’ll just get kicked out, in which case, eh, you tried. You don’t have to be smart to get through college. Just take these tips with you and remember, always think with your head. Shaft.
3) The New Guys: Perhaps one of the more interesting fraternities you’ll find, the New Guys are basically overzealous cheerleaders. They’re starting up a fraternity that has no history or reputation on campus, and since no one gives a shit about it, they feel compelled to act over the top and prove that their organization is legitimate. 2) The Hicks: Their dip spit, beer bellies, and John Deer attire is the very opposite of frat. They’ll either hook up with disgusting fat cows (we're not being sexist, we're being literal), their sister, or you, you purty lil thing. With that said, their superhuman strength and ability to drink more than anyone goes a little way to make up for some of their horrible deficiencies. 1) The Yuppies: More like a yacht club than a frat, the Yuppies love their sperries and pink polos. These gentlemen certainly know how to throw a classy shindig though. And girls know it. Some of the hottest girls on campus will frequent their parties because the Yuppies are better than you, and they’ll let you know it.
ISU Staff wrote this
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The Freshman girl's Guide to Getting a Dude to Notice You at a Party kitty poker wrote this Haaaaaay gurl! You just got here last month, so parties are a whole new thing to you. Or maybe not. Maybe you’ve been to parties before because you were a hot cheerleader in high school. Even if that's the case, college parties are a whole new entity. You may think you’ve seen it all, but I promise you, you haven't. You’ve never seen this much booze in one place, or this many new guys, all at the tips of your fingers. Anyway, let's say you’re at this party, and you’re eyeing some hot keg vulture. You’re probably a little drunk, and you’re thinking you’ll score. And you just might, but the trick is knowing how to reel him in. With the right techniques, you’ll be sure to bag that keg-camping, cut-off tee-wearing, backwards-hat-turning bro. Being the experienced lipstick lesbian I am, and totally understand what men are into, I have compiled a short list of ways to get someone to notice you at a party. Try these out, and you’re sure to wake up next to someone you barely recognize. Less is More: Show some skin. Let it alllllllll hang out, lady. Why do you think American Apparel has all those dresses that cover almost nothing? They’re made especially for you and all your sexy needs. What? American Apparel is too expensive? Screw it, make one of those outfits on your own. Go to Ace Hardware, pick up some colorful duct tape and plaster it over your nipples. Pair that with some booty shorts or a thong, a pair of black, strappy 6 inch heels that you can barely walk in, and you’ve got yourself the perfect outfit.
More is More: So you’re out there wearing almost nothing, and you’re looking hot as hell. And that’s all because you spent plenty of time on your hair and make-up. Like… a LOT of time. You only spent maybe 15 minutes on your outfit, so capitalize on all that free time and put it into your face. Guys like dark, smoky, alluring eyes. Thick gobs of black eyeliner, black eye shadow, black volumizing mascara that gives you lashes for days. Then some blush. You want that light pink “just got done working out” look, so just a small bit on your cheekbones. Then some red lipstick. You’re lookin’ fiiiiiiiiiine. Now work that up-do. No one likes flat, boring, straight hair. Go crimping, curling, and teasing crazy on your long locks. Put it all up in a sexy ponytail and finish it off with a bumpit ala Snooki. Heck, make it two bump-its, just to set you apart. Go In For The Kill: Your look is perfect, so now you need the right attitude. Bros like dumb girls, girls whose knowledge is restricted to shopping and like, color coordination and shit. Like, who cares anyway, right? You don’t need smarts as long as you’ve got looks. So get out on the dance floor and shake your ass with your best girl friends. Yell something like “YEAH, THE SINGLE LIFE IS GREAT! WOO PARTY!” so the whole party knows you’re available and totes
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DTF. Spill your drink all over yourself and giggle. Make out with one of your girl friends. Then, just wait for the bro-proach. It never takes long. Some guy will walk up and say something sexy-smooth like “Whattya drinkin’?” and when you reply “foamy Natty from the keg,” he’ll def cream his b-ball shorts. Eventually, while going through the usual getting-to-know you questions, he'll ask you what you’re doing at ISU. Look him directly in the eyes and say “You.” Bing, bangin', boom. That's all there is to it. Rip this article out and put it in your purse, your back pocket, in between your boobs, or next to your bathroom mirror. Use all of these techniques and you’re sure to have the proper party experience. Or don’t, whatever, your call. You can always spend the night with box wine, Netflix, and your seven cats.
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$2.50 Well Drinks
SATURDAY
Closed
Sunday Bloody Sunday ALL of our Daily Specials available! $4 16oz Ultimate Bloody Marys featuring Ketel One Vodka
Closed
Patio Now Open! $3.50 24oz Cups $3.50 Liquor Special
Bucket Day! $9 Domestic Buckets (5 Bottles)
SUNDAY
$1.75 Miller Lite Pints
Mad Monday! $3 All Import Bottles and Microbrew Bottles
$9 Domestic Buckets (5 Bottles)
Patio Now Open! $3 Pitchers Coors Light and Miller Lite $3 Fireball Shots
$3 Smirnoff Vodka Drinks (Any Flavor)
MONDAY
$3.00 Pitchers of Hamms
Well To Do Tuesday $3 All WELL Vodka, Gin, Rum, Tequila, American Whiskey and Liquors
$2 You-Call-Its
Patio Now Open! $2 Domestic Longnecks $3 Imports, Micros, & Rail Calls
$3 Captain Morgan
TUESDAY
Karaoke Starting at 9pm $2.00 Well Drinks and Miller Lite Pints
Whiskey Wednesday $3 All CALL American, Irish, Scotch and Canadian Whiskey
$7 Premium Pitchers
Patio Now Open! $4 Bud Family Pitchers, Vodka Red Bull, & All Bombs
Bucket Day! $9 Domestic Buckets (5 Bottles)
WEDNESDAY
SATURDAY: $3.50 24oz cup $3.50 Liquor Special
page 8
theblacksheeponline.com
bartender of the week sarah s. western tap Status: Single Who’s you favorite super hero?: Wonder Woman, I can relate because I’m a badass who can make anyone tell the truth. What’s your favorite drink?: Grape Ape, it’s the grapeiest. If you could fight anyone in the world who would it be?: Bigfoot. I would find him and beat him up for hiding like a wimp. Where’s the craziest place you’ve ever hooked up?: The photobooth at the mall. Sometimes you gotta be spontaneous. What’s your favorite animal?: Cats. They’re cute, cuddly, and wonderful. Where’s the farthest you’ve ever been from home?: London, I went there for cheerleading.
the drinking game
across the bridge Feeling lucky? This game takes absolutely no skill whatsoever! It also requires little thought and physical movement. As that weird-looking chick from The Hunger Games says, “May the odds be ever in your favor.” What You’ll Need: A deck of cards and your brew of choice. Number of Players: Two or more. Just make sure you have enough cards! Level of Intoxication: If you’re lucky, you’ll get tipsy. If you’re unlucky, you’ll black out. How to Play: - Deal ten cards face down in a straight line for your “bridge.” - One player starts the game by flipping the first card. - If the card is a 2 through 10, the player can move on to flipping the next card. - If the flipped card is a face card (jack, queen, king or ace), the player must drink (one second for a jack, two for a queen, three for a king, and four for an ace). - The player must also add cards onto the end of your bridge (one for a jack, two for a queen, three for a king and four for an ace). - The next player flips their next card and continues the game in the same fashion. The Game Ends When: One player stumbles all the way across the bridge. In that case, shuffle the cards and start over.
download our app for all of our drinking games!
If you could have any super power, what would it be?: To be able to make people disappear. I think it’d come in handy. What is your favorite beer?: Oktoberfest, by far. If you could be any animal, what would you be?: A tiger. They’re powerful, but lazy. I could beat people up, but I choose not to. What’s it like being beautiful?: No I’m not! What’s your best quality?: (after asking the regulars?) I guess my personality. And I’m really honest. What’s your biggest turn off?: Rude people. Can’t stand them!
Recipe for Disaster
impost0r cinnastix You’re at the peak of your “munchies stage” and you’re craving Domino’s Cinnastix, however you’re too lazy to get off your ass and walk to a Domino’s. Then you realize your pocket full of dollar bills is now just a pocket full of bad decisions and the aroma of stripper perfume. What do you do? Make these Impostor Cinnastix, that’s what! What You’ll Need: Bread, butter, sugar, cinnamon, milk, powdered sugar. Cook Time: 20 minutes. Fatty Factor: If you’re on a diet, just stop reading now. Let’s Get Baked: - Lay pieces of bread onto a piece of foil. - Microwave ¼ cup of butter. - Spread the butter across your pieces of bread. - Mix 2 teaspoons of cinnamon and ½ cup of sugar in a bowl. - Sprinkle your cinnamon sugar on top of your bread. - Let your bread bake in the oven for 10 minutes on 150 degrees. - In a separate bowl, mix ¼ cup of melted butter with ¼ tablespoon of milk and 2 tablespoons of powdered sugar. - Mix well until it looks like icing. - Take your bread out of the oven and let cool. - Drizzle your icing on top of your bread. Bring these with you to the bars and sell them for five bucks a piece to those drunken girls who “need something to absorb the obscene amount of alcohol they drank.” Yeah, good luck with that.
Hungry for More? theblacksheeponline.com
From the Streets
[PartyPics]
Got a question you want us to ask? FTS@theblacksheeponline.com
What’s the best food around Bloomington-Normal? Firehouse Pizza makes a mean gluten-free veggie pizza. It’s got the flavor of 1000 suns and whenever I’ve got a frown it turns it upside down. - Adam B., Junior, PR Communications
The Coffeehouse in uptown Normal is super awesome. I really like their vegan cinnamon rolls! They pick you up when you’re feeling down. - Masha B., Sophomore, Biology
D.P. Dough is the best by far. Their calzones are insanely good. I like mine with mozzarella, monetary jack, meatballs, pepperoni and hot sauce. I call it a McCoy zone. - Bill M., Junior, International Business
send your party pics to pics@theblacksheeponline.com
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the interview
menomena
Portland indie rockers Menomena are releasing a new album, Moms, on September 18th before kicking off a nationwide tour. Because they have moms, and we have moms, and you have moms, we thought it would be a wise decision to talk to them. But not about their moms, though. That stuff’s personal, man. Be sure to catch their Chicago show on October 19. By: Brendan The Black Sheep: When starting a new album, what mindset do you put yourself in? Justin Harris: We’ve never put ourselves in the mindset, like, we’re making a concept album. On Moms in particular, early on there was a theme, at least, and it gives us a chance to think about issues that you want to write about. But again, it’s not a concept album my any means.
TBS: You guys go to great lengths to recreate how your album sounds live on stage. Why? Justin: I don’t know, we started off early on thinking that’s what you do. You create your music on stage. Sure, it won’t sound exactly the same, but it’s really important to make sure the signatures of the songs are recreated on stage.
TBS: You guys often introduce new instruments into your music. Is that your attempt to create a specific sound you’re looking for, or just a challenge to yourself? Justin: A lot of the time it’s, “How do we make that sound?”
TBS: With all that stuff going on, how much practice gets into making sure you can perform without screwing something up? Justin: A lot. We spend a lot of individual time working on getting to that point. On one of our songs on the last album I was supposed to be able to play this sax part and this bass part while on stage. Then I handed over the sax part to someone else, but it turns out my body wasn’t prepared for it. I couldn’t do one without the other, because I had trained my body to do both. It was an interesting realization for me.
TBS: Have you ever had an experience where it just didn’t work? Justin: Yeah, definitely. [Laughs] There might be a couple of times on this album where we’re not sure if it’ll work or not. TBS: There’s democracy behind your songwriting, when do you know you have a finished song? Justin: For us, it’s the person who started writing a song who decides when the song is done. For me, over the years I’ve become familiar with the process. When I start playing something, I see it getting better, and eventually I just knowing when it’s done.
TBS: So how do you strike the balance between doing all this stuff and still having a sense of showmanship? Justin: It’s something I struggle with daily. There’s a big part of me that wishes I could just go up there and play my instruments, but there’s an element of showmanship that’s necessary in a live show. The more we play songs, the easier it is to incorporate that kind of stuff as part of the show. At the same time, it helps that we have a really animated drummer. [Laughs]
TBS: What kind of music are you interested in that your fans wouldn’t assume you’re interested in? Justin: Man, I wish I could ask [band mate] Danny Siem, he listens to a much wider variety of music than I do. I went to the symphony last weekend with a friend of mine, and it got me thinking about symphonics. TBS: What would you consider your greatest athletic achievement? Justin: Hmm, it’s been many years. I pitched a no-hitter in high school.
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the classtime
totally tailgating Across
4) ESPN’s Saturday morning gig. 8) You can thank them for setting it all up, usually. 9) 50% of the time you don’t make it here. 12) Basically bags. 15) The OG drinking game. 17) The act of making extremely delicious things. 19) Throwing bolas. 20) A bro’s tailgating uniform. 21) A handstand with help.
6) Pairs nicely with chips. 7) Huge, cheap, and everyone centers around it. 10) A real badass brings this RV. 11) The whole reason you do this, supposedly. 13) One shot of beer every 60 seconds.
14) Brought attention (and cameras) to tailgating. 16) A standard starting time, in the A.M. 18) Keeps that beer so kool.
Down
1) We can think of a sunny tune about this game. 2) Ladies will don these with their school’s logo. 3) Fat-free, but not booze free. 4) With beans, or without. 5) Burgers, hot dogs, brats... bacon...
Answers
Oktoberfest
at Fat Jack’s!
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 21
7 different Oktoberfest Beers on Tap $12 Liter Boots that you can KEEP! Live music with Black Magic Johnson from 7-10pm
511 N MAIN ST. • NORMAL, IL • 309.821.9222