The Black Sheep
fr e yo e... ur lik lo e 1 ca .9% lh A on PR f da in de anc al in er g a sh ip! t
Brought to you by
The All-New 2013 Honda Civic Sedan
• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
Volume 22, Issue 10 • 3/27/13 - 4/3/13
theblacksheeponline.com @blacksheep_uiuc
Dear The Black Sheep,
I recently read that The Black Sheep was going to whore itself out to large corporations in order to remedy some of its recent financial woes. How could you even think about doing that? Sincerely, Disappointed Dear Sir/Madam, First, you have to understand that all the cool publications on campus are doing it. The Daily Illini has been alienating their readers through sensationalist articles and unwarranted tuition increases for more than a year now. The slightly less popular leg of Illini Media, buzz, isn’t as up-front about their whoring as The DI, but you just have to read between the lines. For instance, Community Editor Thomas Thoren chose Aroma Curry House’s Vegetable Biriyani as the best Asian dish in Champaign-Urbana, which is complete bullshit. There must have been some money slipped under the table on that one. As for the guys over at Smile Politely well, I’m not even sure what those guys
are doing over there. I did meet one of their photographers at Pygmalion this year, and I think I scared him. He might have been stoned, which leads me to believe that Smile Politely must be selling out to somebody. You can’t afford marijuana if nobody reads your magazine. Finally, I simply can’t sleep at night unless I let the world know about all that the 2013 Honda Civic Sedan has to offer. With its Advanced Compatibility Engineering™, Anti-Lock Braking System with Electronic Brake Distribution, and Dual-Stage, Multiple-Threshold Front Airbags, it cannot be beat for such a low, low price! Sincerely, The Only Publication Keeping It Real