The Black Sheep
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Vol. 5, Issue 3
The College Newspaper That's Actually About College
9/19/13 - 10/2/13
It’s Time To Grow Up BY: Sevin Ketze The honeymoon is over. Classes at ISU kicked off over a month ago, and as the introductory material gives way to the real meat of the courses, many underclassmen and transfer students have found themselves struggling to make the transition between carefree childhood and soul-crushing adult life. We asked some students to share their thoughts and experiences with the transition to adulthood: “I thought college was going to be all parties and good times, like in the movies. But there’s, like, a LOT of class. I wish somebody had warned me about that,” said freshman Elaine Preston. “I do like that I can skip all my classes without it affecting my grade or getting me in trouble, though. I need that extra time to get my homework done, because it’s so hard and takes forever and it’s always about things I know nothing about. I feel like I’ve barely learned anything, where is my tuition money even going? I’m really starting to regret not applying to any Ivy League schools, it’s looking like this degree is gonna be worthless.” “It’s definitely a shock how fast you have to become a grownup,” warned sophomore Kylie Blanche. “All the high school BS seems really petty now. We used to be all worried about stuff like parents, grades, sports, who made out with who…ugh, we were so young. None of that matters anymore, now it’s all ‘who had sex with who,’ and…there’s definitely some other stuff but I can’t think of it, I’m still in shock over Dave getting with Trish. That bitch has a gross name.” “Coming to ISU was definitely the right choice for me,” reflected senior Kurt Maglurt. “After high school, some of my less-mature buddies just went out and got a job, like, right away. I know, not everybody has what it takes to go to college, but their dads definitely should have studied harder in school so they could afford to send their kids to college. It’s true what they say, “blindsight is 20/20.” I visited my non-college-educated friend Mike over the summer, after high school all he did was obtain an electrician’s apprenticeship. Now he has to work every single weekday to support his wife and toddler and make mortgage and car payments. It’s really sad to see one of my friends just spinning his wheels on a dead-end job, you know? I wish he had some direction.” “It’s hard being a child one minute, then turn 18 and just get thrown into the grown-up world,” commented freshman Derek Scott. “The whole age hierarchy we had in school was just thrown out the window. When people look at me now, they see an adult just like any other, and I have to get used to the things they expect from their equals. After I graduate and ISU matches me up with a job, my boss could be all like ‘hey Derek, can you crunch the taxes on this business sheet?’ and I’ll have to figure out how to do that, and I don’t have the option of just not doing it and getting some extra credit later so I still come out with a C. But on the plus side, now I can watch porn and not worry about getting arrested.” Do you have any advice about adapting to adulthood to share with your fellow students? Please send your ideas to the recycle bin, it’s too late, this article has already gone to print. Thank you!
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Our Guide to raising a family
Tumblr: The Net’s Latest Circlejerk
Breaking Bad: As Addicting as Meth
You’re gonna need whiskey, diapers, and something for the baby, too.
It’s used for more than just pornography. Just kidding.
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