Volume 1, Issue 4 | 10/19/11 - 11/09/11 | www.theblacksheeponline.com
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they don’t hire you for your gpa... Things You’ve Gotta do in College to be Successful The
Black Sheep
“A College Newspaper That’s Actually About College”
Tamara Bartlett wrote this In light of the recent career fairs, it is only fitting that we step back and examine what will actually get you that job. You know, that career that you drool over in your free time. If those interviews with your dream company have remained ever-elusive, read on. Maybe this article will lift you from the depths of your despair and give you a new perspective. Let us get back to the basics and re-examine the goal of this college endeavor.
stay up late and consequently snooze through a test? Did you drink a few too many and spend your night ralphing into a dirty dorm toilet? Did you have to pull an all-nighter after procrastinating? Did you gain weight after eating all those onion rings, fatty? Let’s hope you learned your lesson. Employers expect college students to exhibit all those menacing qualities: responsibility, time-management, moderation and self-control. In short, employers want to hire adults, not hooligans and children.
After a few years at this glorious institution, you’ve undoubtedly changed. (If you haven’t, you’re doing it wrong.) Life experiences and college adventures are forcing you to grow-up, even if you fail to accept that. Reality check: you have a caffeine dependency that you didn’t have in high school. You’ve had to deal with a few years of sacrifices, such as lack of personal space, out-of-unit laundry and no one to tuck you in and feed you soup when you come down with swine flu. It hasn’t been exactly what you expected. Somehow, Animal House and Van Wilder didn’t adequately prepare you for this. Hopefully the mistakes you’ve made, the skills you’ve learned and the insights you’ve gained about your passions helped round you out. May we say you’re more of a man, less of a mouse?
Another valid concern is your resume. Is your GPA the shining golden star you rely on? It shouldn’t be; the pride and joy of your resume should be your passions. (Hopefully, that includes material in your major. If not, it is probably time for you to re-evaluate what you’ll be spending the rest of your days doing.) Is LARP the love of your life? Make sure you say so and say it loudly. The obscure clubs you join and the things you enjoy make you a real, 3D person. (A word of warning: Cuffs is probably not an appropriate club to list on your resume. Unless you’re ambitions are to become a porn star, you might want to exclude that.) So pull your nose out of that book once in a while and do something interesting.
College is freedom from the watchful eye of the parent. Sometimes this leads to staying up late, enjoying brewskies and choosing to go frolfing instead of studying. You can eat the onion rings at the dining center for a week straight and no one will say a word. But this is not all well and good; college kids have a tendency to go overboard. Did you
Other stuff
Inside
04: every girl’s halloween dilemma
show some skin, or show way more skin? hmmm....
My grandpa always said, “It takes C-students to tell the A-students what to do.” (So if you’re a 4.0 student, don’t go into management.) Take that to heart. Don’t stress about your grades, but do have some life experiences. Make mistakes and learn from them. Work hard. Play hard. Do things worth talking about. A degree really says, “Yes, I’ve survived college,” not “look how awesome I am.”
09: Special Snowflake Disease
You think you’re special, don’t you?
13: How to Survive A Zombie Apocalypse
You’re going to need guns, lots and lots of guns.