The Black Sheep
Fr ge ee... tt l ail ike t ga h tin e dr g a ink tT s he you Bo wl !
Vol. 2, Issue 3
The College Newspaper That's Actually About College
9/12/13 - 9/16/13
Four Things the University of Kentucky
Won’t Put in Your K Book BY: Quinn Schwartz
The K Book, aka the Freshman Bible, is chock full of important details about the University of Kentucky. UK Basketball has eight national championships, Whitehall is old as fuck, and rubbing the toe of the P.O.T statue will balance out your drunkenly fueled procrastination. However, the officials at UK don’t give the full story. That’s why The Black Sheep decided to blow shit out of the water by listing the four things that are kept on the DL, because ignorance is not always bliss. Transylvania Book Heist: When college students are bored, most of the time they will rely on a solid dose inebriation or minor mischief to keep them occupied until more pressing matters arise, but on December 17, 2004 three UK students decided that kind of behavior was mere child’s play and opted instead to execute one of the most expensive art heists in recent American history at the expense of their dorky little brother, Transylvania. The students adopted nicknames and garb from Tarantino’s Reservoir Dogs and walked into the Transylvania County Library on a mission to skip the hassle of college life and get rich quick instead. Since the costumes and fun nicknames weren’t enough, the thieves decided it would be best to use a stun pen on the librarian on duty and top it off by binding his limbs and throwing a gunny sack over his head just like they do in real life (aka the movies). The students stole about $750,000 worth of documents from the library including a manuscript of Darwin’s Origin of Species. Two months after making a clean break from the library, the thieves decided enough time had passed and attempted to sell the works to an auction house in New York, which led to their inevitable arrest. Each man was sentenced to up to 10 years in prison. Bluegrass Conspiracy: In the late 70s and early 80s, Lexington native, UK Law graduate and then-current LPD officer Andrew Thornton II, decided he was tired of busting parties and writing tickets and decided to start being a little more productive with his useful position of authority. Thornton began selling confiscated drugs and weapons, and after growing bored with the typical crooked cop activities, started a huge smuggling ring and recruited a number of Lexington police officers and officials. Everything was going great for the group of smugglers known as “The Company” until Thornton accidently murdered the daughter of a former state senator. The woman also just happened to be a DEA informant. Oops. This led to a slew of murders and cover ups within “The Company”
until finally the DEA had Thornton cornered. Thornton, not wanting to go out like a bitch, leapt from his private plane equipped with a parachute, night vision goggles, two pistols and $15 million worth of Columbian cocaine. Unfortunately for Thornton and coke heads everywhere, his parachute failed and was found dead in a back yard in Knoxville, Tennessee. Kentucky Basketball Point Shaving Scandal: Not only was legendary Kentucky basketball coach Adolf Rupp a notorious racist, but his team was also involved in the largest point shaving scandal of all time. Kentucky players Ralph Beard, Alex Groza and Bill Spivey, along with 30 other college athletes from various schools, were involved in putting the fix on games to make profit. Oh yeah, the scandal was also orchestrated by the mob. As a result, the NCAA cancelled not only the ’52-’53 basketball schedule, but the entire ’52-’53 UK athletics schedule. The three athletes were
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The Creatures of Kentucky
A Sober Girl’s Open Letter To Campus Drunks
Lexington is full of many strange species.
never charged, but were still banned from the NBA for life. The names Beard, Groza and Spivey still hang in the rafters of Rupp Arena to this day. The Foot Stabber: In 2011 the William T. Young library was terrorized by a brutal and heartless foot stabber. One unidentified man armed with a small knife and a grudge against open toed sandals decided to wage a war on innocent students preparing for finals. Two incidents were reported, but no arrests were ever made, which means the foot stabber is still out there… somewhere. Rumors speculate that the suspect fled to Mexico where he would be able to find no shortage of barefoot victims, while at the same time escaping the long arm of the UKPD. Even though these four things aren’t the greatest advertisements for our great university, we feel they’re worth knowing so that history shall not repeat itself. So when news that Coach Cal and Tod Lanter aren’t tied up in a score-fixing, mob-ruled coke ring, you can thank us. You’re welcome, UK!
Just what does this rare breed think of all us partiers?
Keep Up With Us! @UKBlackSheep • theblacksheeponline.com
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Bartender of the Week
Mikayla from Tin Roof has a head of hair full of secrets and a dad who owns Toaster Strudel.