Kentucky - Issue 6 - 10/3/2013 by The Black Sheep

Vol. 2, Issue 6

The Black Sheep The College Newspaper That's Actually About College

fre

e.. yo u .l i k e get the at t tow he els J C.

10/3/13 - 10/9/13

The Chronicles of Kroghetto BY: Cassandra Shouse We’ve all been there. Hell it’s a common practice if you live remotely close to campus. It’s 3 in the morning and your night out at McCarthy’s has left you with a ravenous hunger. You’ve decided to forgo delivery though, a trip to Kroger would be faster and easier on your wallet, plus you could use the fresh air. Not wanting to brave the early morning alone you assemble your group of friends, Sleepy, Drunky, Smokey, and Lazy to help you on your quest. As his nickname implies, Lazy lags behind and you contemplate abandoning them at Qdoba, but your uncle, a Vietnam vet, burned the motto into your childhood psyche, “no man gets left behind, especially at a Qdoba.” After a long and arduous trek, you see it, glowing like a huge beacon of hope in the night, a lighthouse of deliciousness, Kroghetto. The parking lot, which is normally so packed it sends you into a murderous rage, is now almost completely empty except for a stray cart and another lost, hungry soul in their Kentucky blue plaid PJs. As soon as you enter through the automatic doors your team spreads out like you’re storming the beaches of Normandy. Suddenly, it’s the 90s again and you’ve been thrust into the most intense episode of Supermarket Sweep ever. You start power walking down the aisles, combing through the shelves like a raccoon sifting through the trash. Why can’t you decide on what you want to eat? Because you want to eat everything. Chips? Yes! Totino’s party pizzas 4 for $5? What a steal! 10 Hungry Man dinners for $10? YOU’RE A HUNGRY MAN WITH TEN DOLLARS! Just as you’re about to wrap up your little shopping endeavor and bring your personal buffet to the checkout you become sidetracked. One of the night workers shelving cereal has decided to unload some wisdom upon you. Did you know El Nino, a warm current of ocean water, was the reason why it snowed in March? No, you didn’t know, but thanks to this man who looks like the direct descendent of Puerto Rican Benjamin Franklin, complete with balding top patch and round spectacles, you do now. You can’t stray from the mission, so you try to be friendly, you smile, and nod goodbye as you slowly back further and further down the aisle. Had you stayed any longer you would have heard all his thoughts on the Kennedy assassination and his reasons on why the White Album was the greatest Beatles record of all time.

You try your hardest not to drop the tower of food you’ve accumulated and as you near the front of the store you feel a strong sense of shameful accomplishment. You want to call up Lance Armstrong to tell him that you conquered this grocery Tour de France with the help of outside substances all thanks to his example. Luckily, there’s no need for you to circle back and find your friends, because if by some sort of miracle your friends have

concluded their shopping experience as well and are waiting for you at the registers. You drunkenly swipe your card not caring what the balance of your account is, breathe a sigh of relief when it’s accepted, then make your way home where you devour all of the food you’ve bought in one sitting. You pass out in front your Netflix instant queue, still undecided on what to watch, full, and a little bit wiser.

page 5

page 7

Mass Suicides Following Conclusion of AMC Hit Shows

Students Make Pact to Get life Together

Top 10: Drinks You Thought of While Drunk

Jesse pinkman may have gotten to stay alive, but that doesn’t mean we want to.

Who knew that Syllabus Week was seriously just a week long?

at the end of the day, vodka and Franzia is still vodka and Franzia, you lush.

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Mass suicides

following conclusion of AMC hit shows By: black sheep staff The final episode of Breaking Bad aired this past Sunday, and in the days since the shocking ending of Walter White’s meth empire, 3.5 million Americans have committed suicide. And to make things worse, that number is still rising. The normal U.S. suicide rate is about 20 per 100,000 citizens every year, but since Sunday the rate has risen to about 250 suicides per 100,000 citizens per day. When asked for a comment, the World Health Organization called the 456,250% increase in suicides “very unusual.” UK has not been exempt from the sudden suicide craze; since the airing, local experts estimate between 200 and 4,300 students have ended their lives over the past few days. “I’m shocked. Utterly shocked,” said one student, whose roommate Robert Xanaxbar leapt from his dorm room early Monday morning. “[Show creator] Vince Gilligan is a sick genius. There’s still one thing I still can’t don’t understand, why did Rob have to crash through the window on his way out? Now it’s hot as shit all day and cold as shit all night. That guy was always a dick.” “I just wish people would leave me the hell alone,” said junior Kelly PinkertonStinfurder, wiping away tears. “After all that, after all I’ve gone through, it turns out it was a lie. They don’t really give you straight A’s for the semester if your roommate dies.” She paused to compose herself. “They said... I’m sorry, it’s just so *sniff* — they said that rule is in place for special circumstances, but suicide doesn’t count, since it’s like fraud or some bullshit. I stabbed her body in the chest as they were carrying her out to try and use a loophole or something, but they said it was too late.” Local police constable Erin Wüdrough wrote a public message for the student

body that was sent out through the school’s emergency alert system on Tuesday. “Students, I am not trying to talk you out of what you know you have to do. I understand the deep hole Breaking Bad has left, a hole that cannot be filled — I’m doing the same thing in a few weeks once I make enough money to leave to my wife and children. All I’m asking is that you consider the poor officers who have to clean up your yucky corpse. So please, we ask you to kindly end your life in a dumpster, or at least have a friend drag your body to a corner on your neighborhood’s garbage day. You can also make the medical examiner’s life a whole lot easier by stapling your ID to your face beforehand.” “In honor of Heisenberg, I’m gonna snort meth until I OD. Lol bye guys :)” tweeted sophomore Poot Smith immediately following the show’s ending. An hour later he tweeted “lol nvm this stuff is sweet” and since then has sent over 450 tweets, mostly containing derogatory comments toward actor Shia LeBeouf. President Obama addressed the suicidal nation on Wednesday. “Although the loss of over 1% of the American population is a tragedy in some ways... this is actually solving a lot of the federal government’s financial problems. Therefore, I am proud to award the Congressional Medal of Honor to every single man, woman, and child who helped save social security and the U.S. post office by painting the walls with their brains.” He nodded at his teleprompter operator as if to say “it’s okay, go ahead,” and after saluting, the president he quickly stabbed himself through the stomach with a long ceremonial sword. “Now that that’s over with, I feel obligated to announce my membership in a post-

Breaking Bad suicide pact with the majority of my administration, including a large chunk of the presidential line of succession. JB one, JB two, Leahy, Kerry, Lew, Hagel Bagel, The Holdster, Jewell, Vilsa--wait, no, I think he pussied out. So say hello to President Tom Vilsack, I guess.”

Students Make Pact

to Get Shit Together By: Dan Mirabelli As the first round of testing comes to an end, many students have been shaken to their core as the reality of being at school has finally hit them. The results of the exams took an especially hard toll on two freshmen living in the dorms. “I honestly thought that Syllabus Week was a semesterlong thing, not just literally a week,” said Pete Donnelly, a civil engineering major. Pete, along with his roommate, had been going out five nights a week since school began in August, and they were caught with their dicks in the door (so to speak) when they were slapped in the face with four exams in the past week. Pete’s roommate Steven Billings humbly noted, “Low key, I was our class valedictorian and never studied for a test in my life. School has always been a joke for me.” They received a total of 5 F’s, 2 D’s and an inexplicable A earned by Pete on his MA 109 exam. When asked how they studied for the exams and if they attended review sessions, their responses were not politically correct: “Do I look like a limp dick?” exclaimed Pete. “Review sessions are for try-hards and needledicks,” added Steven, the previously mentioned valedictorian.

When we tried to explain to them that said “needledicks” would probably end up with higher GPAs than “cool cats” that refused to attend review sessions, they were still not impressed. “The only GPA I care about is Guns, Pussy and Alcohol” said Steven, who received an excited high-five from Pete. When pressed to divulge how much they had actually studied for the exam, they said that they had skimmed the practice exams before they took their midterms but didn’t actually do any of the problems. When asked if they had photographic memories, they laughed and Pete commented that he didn’t have a photographic memory but instead had a “pornographic” memory. When asked to further explain what that entailed, he said, “It’s like normal memory, but everything is like sex.” It was only when they saw the email from their advisors that they began to realize how dire their situation actually is. Faced with two write-ups from their RA for “breaking in and peeing on a foreign exchange student’s bed” and “putting lube on everyone’s doorknobs” on top of their lessthan-satisfactory grades, the two are looking at expulsion if their grades do not show improvement. The two have decided that they are making an oath to “get their shit together” in order to bring their grades back up. Although they were informed that not every oath has to

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be a blood oath, the two were insistent that the pact be written and signed in their blood “to let each other know it was real.” After the first few words, however, a red pen was quickly brought out, as well as antiseptic and BandAids. When asked why they stopped writing in blood, Pete explained through tears, “from his allergies,” that it was simply unsanitary. Steven spelled out the details of the oath to us, which included cutting down partying to three nights per week, as well as a mutual obligation to start attending discussion sections. “We decided on not including lecture in the oath, because we both know that we’re just going to play Clash of Clans

the whole time, so we’re just gonna bite the bullet on that one,” Pete added, which elicited approval from Steven. The two also agreed that they will be doing their best to attend their TA office hours if they start falling behind, but Steven made it clear that he would not be attending his economics office hours because his TA is a “total hippie that needs to get a haircut and stop talking about NPR.” Although these two students still need to make up a lot of ground, it is heartening to see that they have taken some steps to get their house back into order. We will be keeping up with these two and will be give an update in a couple months to see if they are serious about their oath, since it is mostly written in red pen and not blood.

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on the Streets What’s the worst piece of advice your parents ever gave you? Maritza

“Don’t accept candy from strangers.”

Kat

“Don’t drink the hooch!”

Alex

“My parents never gave me any advice.”

A Day at UK Without Technology

The

Top

Ten

Drinks You Thought of While Drunk By: black sheep staff

Sometimes, you find yourself inventing delicious, original drinks. These are not those. These are drinks thought of by your sloppy-drunk self. 10.) Mountain Dew and Tequila: Sure, this sounded like such a good plan at the time. Tequila is the only booze that’s not a depressant. Mountain Dew is delicious. Plus, there’s all that sugar so you can feel extra-horrible come morning! Yippee! 9.) Vodka and 5-Hour Energy: Just because 5-Hour Energy has 8333% your daily intake of good ole’ B12, doesn’t mean it’ll provide 8333% your daily intake of awesome when a very drunk you concluded that you should throw some Karkov in there as well. Prepare for a night of text messages and snap chats you didn’t mean to send. Just don’t be afraid to share your dumb mistakes with The Black Sheep by tweeting @UKBlackSheep. Everyone’s all in this mess together. 8.) Frappacino and Rum: Sober, this sounds awful. Buzzed, it sounds awful. But drunk, these two become a viable option, much like those people you accidentally hookup with over the weekend or that decision you made to buy a life-size cutout of Steve Buscemi. 7.) Gin and Margarita Mix: Wait a second, this one doesn’t even taste that bad. Gin is a cool liquor with a strong flavor. It almost perfectly compliments the lime and high fructose corn syrup notes from the mix. Almost.

By: C Weaver When I woke up in the morning, sunlight made its way through my blinds and burned my eyelids. Why didn’t my alarm clock go off? Why is it so stuffy in here? FUCK I was late and there was no electricity in the entire house. I quickly threw on the nearest BBN t-shirt that smelled relatively decent and ran out of the house, cursing at the useless espresso machine and halfconsidered chewing a few coffee beans on the way. As I reached the street, things became even bleaker. There were no cars in sight and I heard someone in the distance crying and praying for their iPhone to turn on. “I swear, God, I’ll volunteer with the homeless, I’ll go to church, and I’ll never pop up on UK Makeouts again. Just let me check my texts!” Out of denial I waited for the CATs bus for about thirty minutes before I accepted that it wasn’t coming. I hauled ass to campus and passed three sorority girls on the way, gasping for air and clutching their heels as though they hadn’t had to walk more than a single block in the past year. Dozens of students had already abandoned their sad little MacBooks on the curb. There was a ruckus over at the Memorial Building so I headed over, desperate for some intel on what the hell was happening to the technology on this campus. I saw smoke in the distance that I later learned was an attempt by the engineering department to incorporate smoke signals as the new form of long distance communication between the UKPD. Without technology to fiddle with all day, they might actually feel compelled to protect and serve. As I sat down in the crowd of terrified students, I pulled out my now functionless iPad and put it to good use as a mirror. When Dr. Capilouto stood up and cleared his throat the crowd went silent. He informed everyone that an unusually high amount of sexting coupled with the overuse of RedTube and Apple products had led to a worldwide shutdown of all technology. He paused before he went on to explain that the problem was not expected to be fixed anytime soon. One guy

actually stood up and shouted, “What do you expect us to do without porn?!” To which, Dr. Capilouto replied, “Looks like it’s time for you to quite streamin’ and start dreamin’.” The students were all told to head to class as usual. I dragged my feet on my way to Miller Hall. When I arrived, I learned that the professor had a nervous breakdown because he hadn’t used a chalkboard in twelve years and wasn’t sure if he even remembered how to write without spell check. By the end of the day, the students were finally adapting to the ways of our new world. Note passing throughout the commons replaced texting, words carved into desks replaced tweets, and students expressed their artistic side by drawing their meal from Tolly Ho since Instagram was now a thing of the past. In fact, the art students finally had hope of making some money with their degree, as there was now a high demand for hand drawn pornography and selfies.

6.) Beer and Whiskey: An excellent drink if you’re in the mood to projectile vomit everywhere. It really seems appropriate at the time but it’s really never appropriate. Don’t you guys remember that episode of Workaholics? 5.) Naked Juice and Gin: This delicious bitch is actually more of a drunk-piphany. You’re getting your fruits, getting your veggies, and getting your party on. You can put almost half booze in any given fruit smoothie and not taste a lick of it. It’s actually recommended to exceed that point so you get a little taste of gin. (The Black Sheep is not liable for any decisions made beyond this point.) 4.) Vodka and Milk: This is not a White Russian, kids. This is milk and vodka. It tastes like milk with vodka. Think of milk as the substitute teacher, filling in while Kahlua’s vacationing in Barbados. It’ll try really hard to get you to like it, but it’ll literally taste like you’re drinking one of the spitballs the kid in the back row shot at you. 3.) Plastic Bottle Rum and Apple Juice: Alright, this one tastes good too. Be careful. Aren’t you guys proud that of having a shittier version of Capitan Morgan to call your own? It’s heartwarming.

However, some students had a lot of difficulty with the adjustment and every now and then a guy walked out of Ralph G. Anderson, talking to himself on his Blackberry, plugging in his music-less headphones, and masturbating to the blank screen of his iPad in his bathroom when he got home. Don’t worry, UK has a place for them now. They turned the once electronically savvy basement of Willy T into a student psych ward for all those who were unwilling to part from their electronics. I have now learned to enjoy the new age of beat boxing and hand washed clothing. I guess I know how simple the world can be without technology. “I can do this,” I thought, as I laid down in my bed and pulled my blanket close… What the HELL, my vibrator doesn’t even work?! I give up.

2.) Vodka and Franzia: Because why the hell not? If you’re drinking shitty wine that tastes like piss mixed with grape juice, you might as well add some fuel to the fire. At least now you’ll actually get drunk off the stuff. 1.) The Leftovers: A bit of Svedka? Check. A smidge of the Jäg? Yes please. A little Tanquray? Certainly. A dash of Jameson? Of course. A pinch of butterscotch schnapps? Wait, why do you even have that... Nevermind, just put it in there. This is a drink of desperation; you’ve got low spirits from being, well, low on spirits. Therefore, you must improvise. Try not to get pregnant.

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The

ACROBATIC

S e x osi

tion

eview! R k o o B A

By: Benny Boy

Although Emily Dubberley’s Acrobatic Sex Positions contains some of the most strenuous and penile-endangering sex positions known to mankind, one often finds that the most difficult aspect of these positions is convincing your girlfriend to do them with you. After all, you can only try these positions solo so many times until you find yourself only able to climax at the scent of moisturizer in the tortoise position. Here we will give you a few of the better sex positions from Acrobatic Sex Positions, all of which have been tested by us firsthand (R.I.P. Valerie), followed by our advice on how to get your significant other to try it with you.

Tow Truck

Pick p u e m

Difficulty Convincing: 3/10

What it Looks Like: The man is standing straight up with the woman in front, face down, legs wrapped around his hips and in the resting pushup position. How to Accomplish: If you see this position and don’t immediately think of wheelbarrow races, then your childhood was seriously lacking. Either that, or my uncle Terry has some serious ‘splaining to do! To get your girlfriend to do this one, you will need to hype up the innocent fun of it. Ask her if she would like to do a wheelbarrow race just for fun, just like old times. If she declines and looks at you like you’re crazy, say you guys could do it with your clothes off (She might be skeptical at first, but just do your best at convincing her that you will not stick your penis in her). After you guys have started wheelin’ around what you need to do is -- and this is the most important part -- you need stick your penis in her. At first she will be upset, but then it will quickly dawn on her that if she stops using either of her arms to support herself, she will be heading face-first to the floor. Extra points if you can accomplish this during the wheelbarrow race at your neighborhood’s annual family fun picnic.

The

Difficulty Convincing: 2/10 What it Looks Like: The woman is on all fours with the man sitting on her backside, leaning over to initiate penetration. How to Accomplish: This will be one of the positions that will require a lot of prep time. What you need to do first is work really hard at your job, saving money whenever you can. As soon as you have 2-3 grand, surprise your girlfriend with a luxury trip to Morocco. She will want to go to the beach for the first couple of days, and you will need to oblige. Close to the end of the trip you need to insist that the two of you go on a nature expedition. Once in the desert, you need to pretend that you are lost. Panic will set in at first, which is only normal. The desert will be very hot, so you should be removing clothes slowly while telling your girlfriend to do the same. After you are both naked, tell her that you need to rest, only the sand is too hot for you to sit on, so she must get on all fours so that you can rest on her buttocks. Once doing so, and this is the most difficult part, you must violently wrench your penis into a downward 90 degree angle in order to achieve penetration.

Difficulty Convincing: 4/10

What it Looks Like: The man is leaning over the side of the bed head-first. His head is resting on the floor and he is looking under the bed. The woman is sitting on the side of the bed against him.

How to Accomplish: This one is really quite simple. In the middle of making love to your woman, stop immediately and announce that you have a gift for her underneath the bed. This sudden interruption will leave the woman frustrated, but that was going to happen anyway. Turn around and dive off the bed head-first into a headstand. Lift up the overhanging sheets and begin “searching” for the gift. After a few minutes, yell out in a panicked voice that you are going to fall on the floor. Tell your lady friend to come and help you by sticking your penis into her for leverage. This works half of the time, the other half of the time the childish behavior makes the girl think she is in the movie Big, which sometimes helps because of the mental association with Tom Hanks.

Part 1 of 3!

The

XXX B

wall ang er Difficulty Convincing: 8/10

The

Back

Break er

What it Looks Like: The woman is up against a wall with the man doing a handstand behind her.

Difficulty Convincing: 6/10 What it Looks Like: The man is standing with the woman suspended face up, legs wrapped around his back, and with no support. How to Accomplish: This is another position which will require a lot of prep work. What you need to do first is become a licensed magician. Now, you might be asking, “Do magicians need licenses?” And the answer is, we truly don’t know. However, if you do need one, you’re gonna want to get one for this position. The Backbreaker is going to mimic the age-old levitation illusion. Normally this is done using hidden planks underneath the volunteer, but this time it will be a little different (Hint: You’re gonna use your penis). When you’re performing your routine at a bar mitzvah, county fair, or what-have-you, plant your girlfriend in the crowd and ask her to come up to participate in the levitation trick. Once you are prepared for the great reveal, mount your lady and go to town. She will be suspended in mid-air, and nobody will be the wiser.

Part 2 of 3!

two

fA CE D

LovEr Difficulty Convincing: 9/10

What it Looks Like: Just like The XXX Wallbanger except now the woman is also doing a handstand. How to Accomplish: At this point you are making love to your girlfriend while doing a handstand. Congratulations. The next logical step is to get her to do a handstand as well. She’s going to ask you why you are banging her while doing a handstand, and you are going to respond, “Is it me that is upside down, or is it the world?” She will think about this for a moment, eventually concluding that her perception of the world, universe, and society at large is just that: A perception. Although this spiritual revelation does not necessitate a physical rotation of the body into a handstand, she will still probably be more inclined to do so after realizing the subjective nature of the cosmos.

How to Accomplish: This is just one of those positions which requires a very specific set of circumstances to pull off, but when you do it is that much sweeter. You’re gonna need to find your girlfriend naked up against a wall. Now, this doesn’t happen very often, so when it does you need to be ready. Who knows, she could be doing some naked hamstring stretching, or maybe she is counting while playing naked hide-n-seek. Anyway, when she is in this position you need to get naked, do a headstand, and then just hand-walk your way on over to her. It’s best not to explain. The more you try, the more she won’t understand.

Part 3 of 3!

The

Clasp ing

Hands t a n d Difficulty Convincing: 10/10 What it Looks Like: Just like the Clasping Handstand except the two are now facing each other. How to Accomplish: To get the move to come to its conclusion, all you need to say is, “You know what, babe? We’ve gotten ourselves into this position, we might as well just face each other and admire us for the acrobatic weirdos that we are.”

read more online TheBlackSheepOnline.com The filamentous biomaterial that grows out of the follicles on a head is a very important part to the appearance of a person. It defines one’s own unique personality and sometimes, if you got that good shit, it defines your social status. We stunt like our daddies here at The Black Sheep so we understand how important your do is when it comes to turning heads, but we’d appreciate if you kept your follicles to yourself… In other words, keep your hair out of our faces.

Toss your hair

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Not everyone knows exactly what do when a situation like this arises. We have two solutions. One, grab her hair mid toss and give her a pixie cut. Short hair is in, and if she’s so worried about keeping up with the latest trends then maybe she should get with the program. Besides, everyone knows that getting that Miley Cyrus haircut takes your twerking level from rhythmically challenged to a whooping mediocre booty twitch.

We aren’t the only ones who notice the girl in class with the hair that would make Pocahontas jealous. It’s bad enough that her edges are smoother than Or you could go with “Baby… if we find another option number two and Nerlens Noel’s flat top and that her obviously just flat out scalp that strand of your hair in dyed hair looks natural, hoe. It sounds bad, but but what makes matters you’ll be a modern day between the keys of our worse is that she knows entrepreneur! You could MacBooks you’re getting a take her lustrous locks, how good her hair looks. Oh, and she makes sure make a wig out of it, and personalized buzz cut.” that you know it. When sell it on campus. There she walks into class her are days when you don’t hair is in a tight bun so she can complain later want to do your hair, but you’re too bogie to put how much it hurts and have an excuse to take it a hat on like a normal person on a bummy day. down. When she pulls out her hair tie her tresses Solution? Gorgeous hair that you can always pull roll down her back like the rolls of a fat freshman out when your flat iron is missing. Think of it like sledding down the bowl in front of Willy T after a fuzzy hat. the year’s first snow. You watch in awe, just as she wanted. It’s beautiful, but the beauty stops when Yes we can smell the peach Herbal Essence she crosses the line. conditioner you use, and yes we had to sit on our hands so we wouldn’t touch it or outline it on out As you innocently peruse Facebook in lecture, a notebook. But baby… if we find another strand hair — one that doesn’t match the color of your of your hair in between the keys of our MacBooks own — falls onto your blank notebook page. You you’re getting a personalized buzz cut paid for by look up only to get smacked in the face by this The Black Sheep.

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Rapunzel ass bitch. To your horror, she’s leaning her entire head back and tossing her hair as if you’re not even behind her.

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Bartender of the Week Relationship Status: Single Major: Accounting Favorite Drink: Scotch, neat Favorite Shot: Irish car bomb Disgusting Drink: Bloody Fetus What’s a fall fashion don’t?: All white – no white after Labor Day. If you were named mayor of Lexington, what would be the first thing you’d do?: Hire a driver. Traffic here is terrible!

Crystal of The Local Taco Drinking Game Fill the Pumpkin Having a variety of alcohol is always good, right? That must mean that having a variety of alcohol in one drink must be great! Maybe not. Let’s find out. What You’ll Need: A plastic pumpkin bucket, pair of dice, a wide variety of alcohol types and flavors, and friends who have strong stomachs. Number of Players: The more, the scarier. Level of Intoxication: Let’s just say the pumpkin doubles as a vomit bucket. How to Play: - Place the pumpkin in the middle of the table and surround it with the nips. - The first person rolls the dice and does the corresponding action with the number rolled. - Two: Speak in a funny accent until it’s your turn again. - Three: Make up a rule. Whoever breaks the rule takes a drink. - Four: Pour a drink into the pumpkin. - Five: Play a round of “Never Have I Ever.” Whoever loses takes a drink.

- Six: Drink whatever is in the plastic pumpkin. - Seven: Make someone else take a shot. - Eight: Pour a drink into the pumpkin. - Nine: Roll one of the dice again. Whatever number you get, drink for that many seconds. - Ten: You’re Question Master until someone else rolls a 10. - Eleven: Rhyming game with autumnthemed words - Twelve: Drink whatever is in the plastic pumpkin.

When and where was the last time you involuntarily saw someone naked?: My apartment.

If you could have something named for you after you die, what would it be?: A drink – with alcohol. What’s the worst prank you’ve seen someone pull at a party?: Taking a picture of a naked person passed out in their place. Assuming you had to get a tattoo on your forehead, what would it be?: FML – why is this here? What new slang word are you tired of hearing?: “Twerking “ What 90s nostalgia is criminally underrated?: My entre childhood — joking!

Recipe for disaster Whiskey Caramel Dipped Apples Autumn is officially here and what a better way to celebrate it than with caramel-dipped apples, infused with booze, of course! They’re a little healthy, a lot sweet and have the potential of getting you a little tipsy. What more could you want? What You’ll Need: A bunch of apples, wooden popsicle sticks, wax paper, caramel bits, your favorite whiskey, and whatever other chunky monkey toppings you want to pack into your mouth Cook Time: We’re guesstimating 25 minutes. Fatty Factor: It’s like 80% fruit, so let’s just leave it at that. Let’s Get Baked: - Place your caramel bits in a bowl. - Microwave the caramel/whiskey for about 3 minutes, stirring after each minute. Stop the microwave after the mixture is melted. - For each bag of caramel bits used, add 3 tablespoons of whiskey. Stir. - Shove a popsicle stick into one of the apples and dip the entire apple into the caramel mixture, making sure it is completely covered when you’re done. Lift the apple out of the bowl and let the excess caramel drip off. - Roll your apples into the toppings of your choosing or simply place them on the wax paper plain. - Allow your caramel apples to chill in the refrigerator for about 15 minutes before enjoying!

The Game Ends When: The first person starts looking a little ghoulish. Once there’s vomit in the pumpkin bucket, we doubt you’ll want to keep playing with it.

Try experimenting with different alcohols and flavors, such as green apple vodka. We suggest steering clear of disgusting dessert flavors, unless you want to see your delicious apple creation in the toilet.

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Guess the Guttenberg

Movie List:

Each box features the handsome steve guttenberg in one of his many blockbuster films. do you know which movie each box is from?

Police Academy • Cocoon • It Takes Two • Three Men and a Baby • The Big Green Poseidon Adventure • Short Circuit • The Boyfriend Club • Tower of Terror

Send your answers to classtime@theblacksheeponline.com the first right answer gets a prize!

fashion Pieces ACROSS 3) The film Flashdance made them popular, two words. 5) Super ugly, comfortable shoes. 6) Zip-up or pullover, everyone owns a favorite one of these. 7) Decorative button to fasten the cuff of a dress shirt. 9) This one piece suit makes using the bathroom difficult. 10) Apple Bottom jeans, boots with the what? 11) These type of slip-on female shoes will make your feet sweat. 12) Terribly blends together two bottoms. 15) Girls wear them as pants all the time. 17) This trendy type of dress covers the whole body. 18) Working class men originated this fashion piece. DOWN 1) Popular trousers in the 60s and 70s, two words.

2) The husband will take this off his bridge at the wedding, tossing it into the crowd. 4) Keeps your little hearing vessels warm. 8) Pleated, Scottish skirt. 13) Ashton Kutcher popularized this accessory in the 2000s, two words. 14) If you wear a top and bottom of this fabric, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re wearing a Canadian tuxedo. 16) Hippies wear this kind of jewelry, man.

crossword

6 degrees of separation

Aaron paul to Carrie Brownstien These two are connected by 6 different people. if you know who, and how, tweet us @UKBlackSheep First 3 right answers get a prize!

WELCOME BACK, WILDCATS Start your year with a new look! Men: BRING IN THIS AD to get $3 off our $15 cut! Gingerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Barbershop 212 W Maxwell Street, Lexington 859-254-4464

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