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The Black Sheep The College Newspaper That's Actually About College
Vol. 9, Issue 10
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10/24/13 - 10/31/13
The Hippie Ghosts of Williams Hall
BY: MSU Staff The year was 1964, exactly (almost) half a century ago this week, when the infamous October “incident” involving Michigan State juniors Marie Brown and Robert Goolsbee occurred. Marie worked in dorms—West Circle to be exact, said to be the most haunted living facilities on campus. The story goes… Marie was scheduled to work a double, the most boring of all dorm shifts, until 2 a.m. Robert had psychology class in the evenings, and that day he scored some experimental LSD (from his professor, who said he’d give extra credit if Robbie took it and recorded its impact on his brain). Once he was spacing out in the basement of Williams Hall with his flower-child-starlover, he decided he should do a little “homework”. “Hey, Marie… pass that,” he said. “Oh sorry, cucumber,” she replied. “So babe, my professor gave me these little pieces of paper with something called DLS on them,” Robbie explained. “Sounds righteous.” “Or maybe it was LDS. Three letters that mean something scientific. And that scientific thing is soaked into the papers.” “So are we gonna eat them?” she asked as she puffed her joint of disgusting, brown and leafy 1960’s weed. “Yeah, I think so, it would be fascist not to, right?” he said. “But first, get that record
player and play some Dylan. I don’t want to reek of the establishment.” The two young lovers laid across the floor of the Student Lounge, playing with one another’s hair and writing shitty folk music for hours. As the LSD started to kick in, they began saying things like, “I can feel life.” “I want to taste your heritage,” and “Lay it on me, gypsy swan charmer!” After several hours, Marie’s supervisor walked in and asked why the room smelled like smoke. She replied, “We made popcorn with our thoughts,” as she grabbed Robert’s hand and walked out. Just then, something terrible happened. The potency of the LSD reached its peak, and Robert and Marie both did something very illogical. Enthralled in the passion of young love, plus a few hits of super-dope acid, they ran to the roof of Williams Hall, although to them it felt like climbing a candy staircase to enlightenment. They looked into each other’s eyes and said the same thing simultaneously: “We can fly! Love will carry us!” Of course, this was 1964 so everyone was either too busy being racist or questioning existence to notice the two of them on the roof. They kissed, embraced, and plummeted to their death directly above the Student Lounge in Williams Hall. Now, nearly 50 years later, students hear the ghosts of these young lovers. According to students, the ghosts aren’t elusive at all, and can be somewhat annoying.
“Yeah, I got in huge trouble because my bong just randomly sparked itself last week,” said Bryan C. a freshman living in Williams. “I was like, ‘not cool, Robbie’.” “I woke up yesterday with a colorful woven bracelet tied around my wrist. There was a dead dandelion on my pillow. I know I wasn’t that drunk last night,” said Haley, a Lyman Briggs student. The testimonies continue from current
dorm staff members. “I’ll randomly hear two people banging in the Student Lounge, then go to check, and it’s those damn hippie ghosts. Banging. At first I was shocked but now I’m just like ‘ew ghost sex’,” said Cody, a facilities worker in West Circle. “They leave this fluorescent goo that stains like a motherfucker. It’s disgusting.” The recent occurrence of Robbie and Marie remind Spartans students several things: falling in love can get you killed, always
Headed to Life in Color on Nov. 1? Check out our guide on Page 14 And look for the GOLDEN TICKET! There are 40 FREE Tickets Hidden!
do acid with an experienced partner, and don’t trust ghosts with your weed. If you find yourself venturing the halls of Williams and you happen to hear some vintage Dylan playing, it’s either that weirdly isolated kid down the hall or the ghost of Robbie and Marie. Who knows, they might walk out right in front of you and ask to bum a cigarette. Or worse, they might want to take a trip with you. (cue maniacal laughter)
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#goodtimes
“I made a Photoshop brush of you partying.. as a ghost...
...because you look dead sexy.”
Word
Tweet Us @Blacksheep_msu
Ventitillate
of the
To arouse a sexual partner by blowing. With air. “Patrick ventitillated Mary by blowing in her ear; after, she was his for the taking.”
Week Guess The Mascot Tweet Us @BlackSheep_MSU First right answer wins a prize!
Seriously?
DON’T MESS AROUND WITH
#BADTIMESMAN Tweet us your creepiest, most hilarious, most perverted, most raunchy (or all of the above) pick-up lines to @BlackSheep_MSU #BadTimesMan
If yours proves to be the weirdest, you’ll win a prize and be featured in next week’s issue!
Last Week’s Answer: Kansas’ Big Jay
The Black Sheep
Celebrity Before & After Just like Jeopardy!, our before and after asks you to pair two unlike things, sharing only a word. Because we’re as vapid as the rest of you, a celebrity name will always be involved. Tweet your answer @BlackSheep_MSU and use #goodtimes for a chance to win a prize!
Classic college party icon actor covers jizz-filled long johns with this keep-fresh tin foil. Last Week’s Answer: Washington DC Current
Around campus send us your party pics to pics@theblacksheeponline.com
from the tweets If you had to wear one article of the opposite sex’s clothing every day for the rest of your life, what clothing item would you choose?
tweet us your answer!
@blacksheep_msu 04
Hey Diddle Diddle,
Send Sadler to Brady Hoke’s House
The
Top
Ten
Sexy Costumes
for Dudes
By: Gavin o’Mare Halloween brings sexy secretaries, sexy nurses, and literally any other costume you can put the word “sexy” in front of. But what about the bros? What are guys supposed to do to feel good about their bodies on Halloween? 10.) A Spartan: This is pretty much a given. What lady doesn’t love seeing a sexy Spartan, all hot, bothered and shirtless? Don’t have a 6 pack? That’s fine! Just draw one on in marker, Sparty does it when he’s got low self esteem too! 9.) The Pope: If girls can be sexy nuns so why can’t you be a sexy pope? Nothing gets a girl off like a man in a uniform. Maybe you’ll get lucky enough to have a steamy confession-session in the morning. 8.) A PSL: Just try keeping the ladies away when you’re dressed up like a delicious Pumpkin Spice Latte. Put some foam on the top and use your dick as the stir stick. Just remember to draw that green goddess on the front of the cup, bitches hate cheap lattes. 7.) Regina George as a sexy bunny from Mean Girls: Some may think that you’re simply a playboy bunny, but be sure to inform them that you’re really the baddest bitch in the plastics. The clothes will be off by the time you finish your reference. Every girl secretly wants to bang Regina George. 6.) The Green Power Ranger: Cut some crotch material off and be a badass. Everyone knows the Green Ranger was the best, and the colors match perfectly with Michigan State. Besides, aren’t green things supposed to make people horny or something?
By: Ricky Spanish In the spirit of Halloween and hating Michigan, Coach Mark Dantonio has devised a trick play of epic proportions, and we got a sneak-peak of the blueprint. Mike Sadler, who recently ran a successful fake punt in the Iowa game, is arguably the most talented player on the team. He is a quick, agile, handsome young devil and a star athlete. It’s no wonder Dantonio has an arsenal of trick plays that are made solely possible by the greatest player to ever grace Spartan Stadium’s field since Captain Kirk Cousins. First thing’s first, it must be Halloween night. This is the most crucial detail of MD’s trick play. Dantonio and Sadler will pull up nearby Hoke’s house. From there, Sadler will strip down to a speedo. Next, he will grease himself up with fine oils, specifically made for his Olympian flesh, to make him slippery and also dashingly elusive. Once he’s peachy and lubed up, Sadler will army crawl to Hoke’s front door. Sadler will ring the doorbell and say, “Trick or treat.” Chances are Hoke will have eaten all of the candy in a five-mile radius around him thus crushing the spirits of Michigan children everywhere, but for the sake of the play Dantonio will pretend that there might be a few pieces of candy corn left in Hoke’s soggy, taught pants pocket. Hoke will take a good half an hour to move his fat ass from his XXL armchair to the door, so it’s imperative that Sadler doesn’t fold under the pressure of anticipation. Assuming Hoke doesn’t die from a heart attack during the physical exertion of getting his jolly tub of goo to the door, Sadler will
5.) A Box of Franzia: This will work even better if you’re actually drinking Franzia. Plus, it will give you an excuse to have girls “slap the bag” (your testicles) and “drink from your tap” (your penis tube). Sex!
need to be ready to slip inside the house quickly. Hoke won’t be able to catch him since not only is Sadler all slicked up, but Brady’s gut makes the Big House seem like a bowl of cereal. Now for the fun part: Sadler will start tearing shit up inside. He’ll run through the house, room to room, breaking everything he possibly can. He will rub his oily body all over the furniture and carpet to leave the marks of a true winner. Sadler will need to keep his eyes peeled for the 2012 BCS Sugar Bowl trophy. If he finds it, which he will because he is a champion of champions, he must make Hoke eat the trophy whole. Upon completion of eating it, Sadler will fart directly into his mouth. Why is this part of the play? Because those butt pirates in Ann Arbor had no business playing in that game to begin with. They went to a BCS bowl game even though they didn’t even win the Legends Division in the Big Ten. But Hoke, being in large and in charge as he is, gargled and fondled his way into that game. Dis-gusting. If the trophy can’t be found, Sadler will force feed him candy bars and shots of Fireball until he blows up. Not just until he’s sick, we’re talking until he literally explodes. Clearly, this is the second best option to him eating the trophy. Hoke will go out doing what he loves best: eating, and for that we can joyfully mock him in the spirit of Halloween. For the final portion of this master play, Dantonio needs all of us Spartans to band together, and tell any U of M students you may unfortunately run into this weekend to throw a bag over their face. Do it for Dantonio. Do it for Spartan Pride.
4.) Some dude from Gossip Girl: It really doesn’t matter who it is, just say you’re that one guy from Gossip Girl. When she asks your favorite episode, just say “The one where they find out she’s preggo!” That should make a girl wetter than the Red Cedar in a thunder storm. 3.) Any Apple product: Ladies will think you’re a lot smarter and cooler than those weirdos wearing Samsung Galaxy costumes. Make sure to complain about how much other people’s costumes suck while asking the DJ if you can plug in your next generation iPod. 2.) Mark Dantonio: Buy an MSU football hoodie and a penis pump. Make sure you’re hangin’ at least 10 inches of dong before you go out for the night. You want to be as authentic as possible when impersonating The Man. 1.) Yourself: What’s sexier than just being yourself? Girls love guys with confidence and all that stuff. Actually, on second thought, you should probably go buy that penis pump.
05
read more online TheBlackSheepOnline.com
How to Handle Yourself en around the Lady Spartans on Hallowe By: Brendon White It’s officially the week of Halloween, and that means a lot of booze, a lot of Halloweentown re-runs, and girls dressed so skimpy it can literally drive a man crazy. This week is not just a time to party and OD on Skittles, but it’s also a great time to get your mack on and have a three-way with the slutty versions of Pocahontas and Cinderella. Now this may sound like an easy task considering everyone is smashed, smashing pumpkins, and looking to strip out of those skanky costumes, but containing your horniness and
It’s no secret that the beautiful women of East Lansing are guaranteed to be looking their sexiest, so you have to be sure you don’t choke up when making your move at the party. She knows how good she looks, and you telling her over and over will not make your life any easier, so make sure to play it cool and keep the conversation away from how great her butt looks hanging out of that third grader’s Ninja Turtles costume. Once the small talk is and over the dancing commences, it’s game time. You guessed it—bumpin’ and grindin’ to MJ’s “Thriller.” Do not do the dance from the music video. Yes, you spent countless hours back in high school with your door locked memorizing the choreography, but no girl wants to sit and watch you make an ass of yourself while you clap and shuffle
“Containing your horniness and playing it cool on this spooky night is key to having one hell of a Hallo-weekend.” playing it cool on this spooky night is key to having one hell of a Hallo-weekend. This year, picking out Miss-Right-for-the-Night is not as easy as it sounds.
while belting the lyrics. Keep it simple and sensual bros, it’ll pay off in the end. While dancing, it’s important to make sure you don’t get ahead of yourself. The dance floor finger blast can be appropriate sometimes, but make sure you read the situation correctly. Everyone’s seen the dude who gets too handsy on the dance floor and ends up getting slapped or beaten up by a gang of protective Spartan guys. If things do start to get sweet and sticky, leave the party. No one wants to see a fighter pilot banging a hotter, less messed up version of Miley Cyrus in their living room. That’s just confusing. Another beautiful part of Halloween that plays in your favor are women in buddy costumes. This is very favorable because usually they are attached at
the hip and both willing to dance with you. Again, feel out the situation, and if given the green light, you’ll be on your way to crossing off another thing from your bucket list... Three-way with your favorite video game characters? Check. We’re not all blessed with the smooth moves, but with a little bit of planning and the right tools you can learn to become the Halloween King. Every party you attend will be packed with girls dressed in next to nothing, so it’s crucial to know how to handle yourself if you’re looking to take a girl home. So play it cool, don’t do choreographed dances; if done well you could be on your way to a threesome. Happy Halloween, you horny bastards!
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The Black Sheep’s Spooktacular Horror Story:
By: tom white You can’t believe everyone else dropped out of the study abroad program at the last second. That meet-n-greet you skipped must have really been filled with some awful sun’va bitches. Maybe Mel Gibson was there. That’s probably it! Mel Gibson and his awful, pee scented hands were there, scaring everyone off. According to the Facebook it’s just you and…Chad “Mr. Steal Yo Girl” Freeman? Yikes. Well, best not to jump to conclusions, so you decide to see what he’s been posting. Just take a quick peek and…oh. Look at his most recent status, a link to Springsteen’s “Born in the U.S.A.” with the caption, “just put that mountain dew on SMASH!! last ‘merican drink ill be having in a while. ol’ bad chad is taking his $wagger international. DEUCES SNITCHES.” Shit. It’s one thing that he’s a total swaglacking idiot, but the fact that he also
would appear to be illiterate is probably an issue. $wagger? With a dollar sign? Really? Well, maybe he is just really committed to being ironic. Then it dawns on you that traveling around the world with a pintsized hipster would be so much worse than travelling with a moron. Maybe it’s not too late, you think. You can make it out of the airport before he gets here or recognizes you at all. The old avoid-and-run. Balls! You totally forgot that you’re wearing your MSU Study Abroad shirt and it’s highlighter yellow. You see him, and he’s already in the terminal. He’s headed towards you, and all you can think is, “Damn this handsome yet comfortable cotton shirt!” “’Sup butt-sack! Ready to get crazy and hazy in Africa or wherever we’re headed
with Cap’n Chad?” Cap’n Chad proceeds to take an eight second drag off an imaginary blunt while making solid eye contact with you the entire time. You don’t know if you can handle this, he’s like a terrifying version of Bam Margera with even more brain damage from huffing glue. Somehow, the two of you board the plane despite Chad getting into a heated argument with security about bringing his longboard on the plane, an “argument” in which he pretended to agree with the officer only before saying, “Psyche, ya big chump!” while holding his longboard above his head. This happened five times. During takeoff, it becomes apparent Chad doesn’t like flying as he rocks back and forth in his seat crying silently, whispering, “YOLO” to himself over and over.
Okay, that’s actually pretty funny — at least there’s something to look forward to on the flight back. You arrive and take a taxi to your poor, unsuspecting host family. After meeting with them, the father explains their bathroom may not be up to your “American” standards upon eyeing Chad’s beer gut. Before you can graciously laugh off his concerns, Chad belts out, “What, like you got pubies everywhere? Dude I’m telling you, every time I’m taking a leak on cam-
pus, the shitter is just covered with short ‘n curlies. I swear it’s like Chewbacca is rubbing his junk on everything.” There is a mind-shattering silence, which is broken again by Chad doing a Chewbacca impersonation, “Rrrrrrr-ghghghghgh!” Despite the absence of any bunk beds, he then shouts, “Top bunk!” and walks off playing the air guitar. You close your eyes and take a deep breath. You’ve come to the only conclusion within reach in a situation like this: There is no God. And if there is, he has abandoned you. Globally.
Halloween Pre-Party at Costume Contests! Sexiest Costume Most Creative Costume Best Tan In Costume Win A Free Month Of Tanning, Free Lotions, Gift Cards, and More! 5
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Thursday, October 31st J2 Tanning Campus 109 E. Grand River 9pm - 11pm The Black Sheep
The Bar Grid
January 2010 Happy Hour: Monday – Friday 3-6pm.
$2.00: Domestic Pints $2.50: Well Drinks ½ Off: Potato Skins, Onion Rings, and Hush Puppies.
SPECIAL NIGHT Thur. 10/24 Fri. 10/25
FRIDAY: Free Cover! Daily Specials: $2.50 Beers, Pints,Wednesday Wells Monday 9pm-Close $2.50 - Pints $2.50 Washington Apples, $2.50 – Call Drinks Johnny Vegas, Soco Limes, Tuesday 9pm-Close 6 $2.00 – Well Drinks Kamikazes $3.00 – Premium Drafts $4.00 - Irish Car Bombs Wednesday 9pm-Close $2.00 – Domestic Drafts $2.50 – Well Drinks $3.00 – Bombs Thursday 9pm-Close $2.50 – Pints $2.50 – Call Drinks Friday 9pm-Close $3.50 – All Pints $3.00 – Well Drinks Saturday 9pm-Close $3.50 – All Pints $3.00 – Well Drinks Sunday All Day $3.00 –Bloody Mary & Mimosas $3.00 – Pints $8.00 – Burger, Fries & Pint Every Day $3.00 – Kamikaze Shots $4.00 – Pinnacle Bombs
Thursday
31 of Guinness, 1 Harp, Smithwicks 2 $3 Pints DJ Beats (Front Bar) DJ Beats (Front Bar) Global Village and Bass, $5 Car Bombs, $3 Jameson, DJ Minze (Back Bar) DJ Minze (Back Bar) Bushmills, John Powers, 7 8 9 $3 Wells, Half-off Potato Skins, Irish NaDJ Beats (Front Bar) DJ Beats (Front Bar) The Whirly Birds chos and Chicken Thumbs DJ Minze (Back Bar) DJ Minze (Back Bar)
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Book Harper’s & RUSH Special Events 20 B-Days, Graduation, and Greek Functions!
14
15
28 DJ Beats (Front Bar) DJ Minze (Back Bar)
9pm – Close Every Day ½ Off – Potato Skins Hush Puppies & Onion Rings
29 DJ Beats (Front Bar) DJ Minze (Back Bar)
TUESDAY: $2 Taco Bar (All-You-Can-Eat) $2.75 Tequila $2.75 Margaritas $3.75 Pitchers
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Ladies DJ Beats (Front Bar) Night: 1/2 Price Drinks!, DJ Minze (Back Bar) The Ice Boxers $2 Coors Light, 21 22 23 Miller Lite, Labatt DJ Beats (Front Bar) DJ Beats (Front Bar) STAR FARM and Bud Light Drafts DJ Minze (Back Bar) DJ Minze (Back Bar) $3 Bud Light Platinums DJ Beats (Front Bar) DJ Minze (Back Bar)
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Free Cover! $2.50 Beers, Pints, Wells $2.50 Washington Apples, Johnny Vegas, Soco Limes, Kamikazes
Irish Happy Hour: 4-7pm Friday (except: Saturday Everyday! Wed.)
Thirsty Girl Thursday! $2.25 Wells and Beers Live DJ
30 DJ Beats
$3.50 Pints of Coors Lt, Miller Lite, Bud Light, Labatt Blue Light, $3.50 Well Liquor, DJ Dublin Square Irish Pub 327 Abbott Rd D Donnie For More Information Contact Us: (517) 3512222 www.dublinsquare.net Or Text: “Dublin Square” to 839863 for specials & updates.
No Cover! Burger Bash 3-8PM 1/2 off All Wells, Calls, Pints, Bottles, Pitchers, Shots and Bombs $2.50 ALL Call Drinks, $2.50 Miller Lite, Coors Lite and Rolling Rock Bottles, $2.50 Call Drinks, $3.50 Long Islands, $2.50 SoCo Lime and Kamikaze shots
Specials Run Open to Close Monday - Sunday! Go Green! Go White!
$2 Domestic Pints & Wells $3 Premium/Micro/Craft Pints $3.50 Beef Schawarma Sandwiches, $5.50 Falafel Salads & $6 Chicken Schawarma Salads
TGI Friday! Live Music! $3.00 Pints, Bombs, Bacardi, Stoli
$3 ALL DRAFT PINTS, $3 Jack Daniels, Wells, Domestic Bottles, Soco Lime, Kamakaze
$2 Domestic Pints & $4 Bombs, $3 Captain & Bacardi Drinks, $2 Washington Apple Shots, Cheeseburger Combo/Falafurger Combo w/Pitcher $11 Dom/$13 Craft
Satisfaction Saturday! Live Music! $2.50 Pints $3.50 Calls
$3.50 All Flavored Vodka $3.50 Captain Drinks $3 Wells & Domestics $3 Soco Lime $5 Spartan Bombs
$5 Domestic & $7 Craft/Premium Pitchers, $5 16oz Long Islands, $5 22oz Dead Guy Ales, $2 SoCo Limes, $5 Off Bottles & $1 Off Glasses All Our "Other" Wines , $12.95 Surf N Turf, $2 off All Veggie Entrees Go Green! Go White! Watch The Game With Us!
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Thursday: No Cover! Burger Bash 3-8PM 1/2 off All Wells, Calls, Pints, Bottles, Pitchers, Shots and Bombs
Sat. 10/26
Satisfaction Saturday! *Ladies Night~ Every Thursday! Live DJs All Night Long $2.50 Pints and $3.50 Calls
$3.50 Pints of Coors Lt, Miller Lite, Bud Light, Labatt Blue Light $3.50 Well Liquor DJ Beats
Sun. 10/27
Harper’s Half Off Wednesday The Lowest Prices In East Lansing
$3 Bloody Marys $3 Mimosas $3.00 ALL Draft Pints $8 Burger and Pint Special
Sunday Funday! $2.00 Pints open til 7 ½ off Adult Beverages & Pizza 7-close $4 Medium/$8 Large Pizzas
$4 Domestic Pitchers $5 Premium Pitchers $3 Blue Shots
$2 Domestic Bottles $3 Premium/Micro/Craft Bottles $4 Featured Martinis $2.50 Glasses of House Wine $6 1/2 Lbs. Cheeseburger & Falafurger Combo
Please call (517) 332-2959 for Bar Crawls Live entertainment 6 nights/week
$3 Managers Choice Craft Beer Pints, $3 16oz Oasis Bloody Marys & Mimosas, $6 Oasis Margarita Pitchers $3.50 Oasis Margarita Glasses $2 Well Whiskey Drinks $5 Off Kabob Combos For Two & $2 Off Veggie Sampler Appetizers
Mon. 10/28
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$2 Bottles of Miller Lite, Bud Light, Coors Lt, Labatt Blue Light, $2 Wells
No Cover! $3 Burgers $2 Pints, $3 Long Islands, & $3 Washington Apples (7 til close)
Tues. 10/29
Book Harper’s & RUSH For Fundraisers, Meet and Greets, Barcrawls!
$2 Wells $3 All Pints $4 Pitchers of Labatt DJ Juan Trevino
$2.00 Taco Bar (All-You-Can-Eat) $2.75 Tequila $2.75 Margaritas $3.75 Pitchers
NO COVER! $2.50 ALL Call Drinks $2.50 Miller Lite, Coors Lite and Rolling Rock Bottles, $2.50 Call Drinks, $3.50 Long Islands, $2.50 SoCo Lime and Kamikaze shots
$3 Made-in-Michigan Beers (Bottles and Pints), $5 Off Bottles & $1 Off Glasses of All, Our Made in Michigan Wines, $6 Pitchers of Oasis Mai Tai's, $3.50 Glasses of Oasis Mai Tai's, $3 Off Select Appetizers
No Cover! $2.50 Bud Lite and Budweiser Bottles, $2 Wells, $3 White Gummy Bears
$2 Off Pitchers Of Beer, $5 16oz Sicilian Long Islands, $6 Oasis Sangria Pitchers, $3 All Mediterranean Beer & Booze, $5 Off Bottles & $1 Off Glasses All Our Mediterranean Wines, $2.49 Falafel Sandwiches $5.99 Mediterranean Pizzas
Wed. 10/30
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1/2 Off Night DJ Juan Trevino
$1.75 House-Brewed Pints, $2 Shots, $2.25 Cocktails, $0.25 Boneless 1oz Wings, $4 Medium & $7 Large Cheese Pizza, $3 Burgers No Cover - Live Entertainment!, Live Music + DJs Starting at 6PM!
Thur. 10/31
Book Harper’s & RUSH Special Events B-Days, Graduation, and Greek Functions!
Ladies Night: 1/2 Price Drinks!, $2 Coors Light, Miller Lite, Labatt and Bud Light Drafts $3 Bud Light Platinums
Thirsty Girl Thursday! $2.25 Wells and Beers Live DJ
No Cover! Burger Bash 3-8PM 1/2 off All Wells, Calls, Pints, Bottles, Pitchers, Shots and Bombs $2.50 ALL Call Drinks, $2.50 Miller Lite, Coors Lite and Rolling Rock Bottles, $2.50 Call Drinks, $3.50 Long Islands, $2.50 SoCo Lime and Kamikaze shots
$2 Domestic Pints & Wells $3 Premium/Micro/Craft Pints $3.50 Beef Schawarma Sandwiches, $5.50 Falafel Salads & $6 Chicken Schawarma Salads
read more online TheBlackSheepOnline.com
Trick-or-Treat with The Black Sheep
At The Black Sheep HQ we take Halloween very seriously. We bathe in a potion made by a local coven, bleed pumpkin guts and spiders, and reenact Friday the 13th every October weekend leading up to this hallowed day. Don’t worry, people have only been accidentally murdered a handful of times… if you have big hands. This year we’re striving to trump every Halloween we’ve ever celebrated. So when you roll to the lair this Halloween (location will remain undisclosed to protect our attractive writers from the inevitable throngs of ugly Michigan fans who know how to read), here’s a taste of what you can expect: Ding-dong.
By: Zoë Kremke
You’re standing in your fishnets and sailor costume, lighting a cig at the front door. A bearded man in a green hat opens the door and screams in your face with terrifying gusto. Without another word, he puts a mini bottle of Wild Turkey in the bright orange, plastic pumpkin candy-bucket you brought along partly to be ironic and partly because the plastic smells like childhood and candy hangovers. The bearded man, perhaps dressed as a lumberjack, perhaps just being himself, steps aside, allowing you into the lair, which is really just a random house with a dead shrub out front. Inside, the room is thick with a purple fog that settles over the furniture in a bone-chilling way. You inch your way forward through the haze, stepping in something squashy. A high-pitched laugh comes from somewhere within the lair, and you look down at your feet. “It’s vomit,” the lumberjack-or-not says, before he disappears into thin air before your eyes. As you feel along the walls in the dark towards a red glow coming from the back room, you can’t help but feel that you’re being watched. Somebody walks up behind you and grabs your ass. “Hey, baby, Randy here. Wanna grab a bite to eat in Brody? Or below your waist?” You jump, sprinting forward, six-inch heels flying off your feet. Who invited that creep, anyway? You arrive at the red, glowing room with more than a little trepidation. Everyone in the room is standing in a circle, wearing black cloaks that only cover their faces. In the middle of their circle, stands an actual black sheep, quietly baaaah-ing. You scream, realizing that this pack of crazies is clearly going to sacrifice this black sheep as some sort of bizarre Halloween ritual passed down from their incredibly comical-yet-disturbed ancestors. Lurching for the door, you stumble past the handsy Randy, across the gunky pile of puke, and leap straight from the front door over the dead shrub in order to get the hell out of there. Back inside the house, the leader of the cloaked circle removes their hood, “Dammit guys, why do all of our guests keep leaving? We spent eighty bones on this black sheep and I even trained it to bong a beer. It was going to be the most epic party trick in Halloween history and we haven’t even done it once!” Everyone sighs, heads in their hands.
GET DRUNK AND BREAK RECORDS Record Crawl in East Lansing
@squadup #recordcrawl Spartans! Join the #Recordcrawl in East Lansing as we attempt a record for largest college bar crawl. Sign up by 10/21 to get your shirts. Get your shirts, GET DRUNK, and let's make history. Harper’s
Dublin Square
The Riv
PT’s
Rick’s
Friday, November 1st
madlib What was more shocking than
seeing ___1___ dressed up as a ___2___ ’s ___3___ , whatever that means, was waking up on a ___4___ -printed futon on ___5___ at my TA’s house. Or, even more shocking, that I started the night as a sexy ___6___ and ended the night in a neon ___7___ unitard, a half-empty box of ___8___ in one hand and a fifth of ___9___ in the other. Naturally, I got the hell out of there instantly. Upon stepping into the great outdoors, I was amazed by what was before my bloodshot eyes. A group of girls dressed as members of ___10___ , but a ___11___ 1: Your best friend 2: Era 3: Wild animal 4: Cartoon character 5: Popular party street
version, were twerking on the street, clearing still intoxicated. A block down I saw a ___12___ puking in a trash can, the poor freshman. And I almost stepped over a zombie ___13___. They looked so serene in their slumber, I couldn’t dare move them. I stopped into ___14___ and noticed a ___15___ chatting with a ___16___ , and they seemed like they were hitting it off. Walking towards my dorm, I bummed a cigarette from a ___17___ , but it ended up being a joint, which was fine with me. We started talking about ___18___ and how it’s totally
6: Condiment 7: Color 8: Cereal 9: Novelty liquor 10: Heavy metal band
11: Adorable animal 12: Famous TV show character 13: Very old celebrity 14: Local coffee shop
related to global warming, even though now that I think about it, it doesn’t. When I got to my dorm, I was surprised to see my roommate making out with a ___19___. They asked me to join in and that’s when I knew they were on ___20___ still. I suggested we head to the cafeteria and they quickly obliged, commenting on how good I looked even though I clearly reeked of ___21___ and fried ___22___. As I entered the caf, I took in the sights of all my fellow sluggish, hungover peers and got the chills. I love Halloween.
15: Famous politican 16: Offensive historical figure 17: Overdone Halloween costume
18: Current event 19: Type of athlete 20: Party drug 21: Cheap booze 22: Vegetable
HUNGRY?
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Bartender of the Week Relationship Status: Single Major: Japanese Favorite Drink: Fireball and cider Favorite Shot: Cinnamon Toast Crunch
Phoebe of Harper’s Drinking Game
Disgusting Drink: Sex on the beach a.k.a. Pain in the ass What would your online dating profile be?: Well, if you say “Oh, like Phoebe from Friends?!” we’re immediately done. Also, proper grammar is a must. Who’s the sexiest comic book character?: The Black Widow or Captain America. They’re the sexiest couple. What is the silliest thing you’ve cried about?: I watched a video of a slow
loris eating rice ball and I cried from the cuteness. (We watched the video too, and for the record, it’s very cute). What is the last thing you’ve cooked or baked in an oven?: Banh Mi, it’s a Vietnamese sandwich. What do you think when you see a person with a flip cell phone?: “I wonder if they’re from the past.” Would you rather have a hornless unicorn or a horse with a horn?: Well, given that the unicorn would still have magical powers, I would take the unicorn. What do you think when you look yourself in the mirror after a day of work?: I feel sticky from all the alcohol. Then I usually drink. Why should people read The Black Sheep?: Because it’s clever as fuck.
Recipe for disaster
Scary Movie Drinking
Halloween Candy Bark
One of the best parts of Halloween is the excellent selection of movies that we finally get to watch—like Hocus Pocus and Halloweentown—that would be weird to watch any other time of year. Disney classics aside, there will be plenty of horror and scary movies all over the airwaves, so grab a seat and play this game before the party gets hoppin’.
With the plethora of discounted candy this time of year, don’t try to tell us you haven’t run to the grocery store and stocked up. We’re all guilty of it. Here’s a recipe to mix all of your favorite chocolate pieces into one snack for an even bigger sugar rush.
What You’ll Need: Booze, a horror flick of your choice and a television. Number of Players: However many people can fit on the couch. Level of Intoxication: Varies via corniness and awesomeness of said horror flick. How to Play: Pop in the movie and take a swig for the following: - Eerie music, accompanied by strings and or piano, plays for intro credits. - A character is walking painfully slow. - When that dumb bitch who shouldn’t go down the stairs goes down the stairs. - When someone whispers “help me.” - When your favorite character dies. - When your favorite character ends up being the killer/murderer/brother of killer. - When there’s a mirror in the scene and it sets up for something scary as shit in the reflection but it ends up being like the towel rack in the background or something. - Boobs. - When a character being chased trips over their own feet as if they’re running for the first time ever. - Jennifer Love Hewitt. - When you realize the police department in your horror movie is completely and utterly useless. - When the movie ends with one more cheap “pop out” bit for good measure. The Game Ends When: The ending credits roll … or maybe it’s just time to put another DVD in and keep going.
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What You’ll Need: 1 pound bittersweet chocolate chips, 3 regular-sized Butterfinger bars, 3 regular-sized Heath bars, 5 regular-sized Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, 1/2 cup honey roasted peanuts, 3 ounces of chocolate and M&Ms or Reese’s Pieces (or both!) Cook Time: About an hour and a half. Fatty Factor: Just a few cavities, that’s all. Let’s Get Baked: - Chop up the Butterfinger and Heath bars into small bites. - Cut up the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups into quarters. - Melt the bittersweet chocolate chips in a saucepan over the stove or in the microwave and stir until smooth. Watch them closely and increase heat in small increments so the chocolate doesn’t burn. - Spread the melted chocolate onto parchment paper on a pan, leaving it about 1/4 inch thick. - Scatter the chopped pieces of candy and peanuts over the melted chocolate. - Melt the white chocolate and drizzle it over the chocolate bark. - Sprinkle the M&Ms or Reese’s Pieces on top of everything. - Let the bark cool in the fridge for 1 hour before breaking it up into pieces and chowing down. And you thought candy couldn’t get any better…
nomnomnomnom theblacksheeponline.com
Six Facts About In Life in Color That will make you wonder why you’ve never gone.
Paint
Life in Color is named as much because they take any old EDM show and add paint. They want to take the ugly, bland canvas that is your life and splatter it with neon colors. Just like Van Gogh, you can strip down to barely nothing and cover yourself in paint. Talk about bringing out your artistic side!
Lots of paint
Seriously, these guys spray paint all over the crowds, everything from using giant paint guns and filling the fire extinguisher system with water-soluble paint to rain it down on everyone at the show. Add this bright, neon colored paint show to a killer light show, all choreographed to brotastic beats and you’re in for a life-changing experience, something you’d need to see for yourself to believe.
Artist
Afrojack, one of the premier EDM DJs in the world, will headline Life in Color East Lansing. If somehow you don’t know of Afrojack, go listen to “Take Over Control” or Pit Bull’s “Give Me Everything,” and you’ll be learned in his world renowned afro DJing ways. Laidback Luke and Bobby Burns will be there too, to shower you in goopy paint and heavy dance music.
Venue
When Life in Color comes to East Lansing this year it will be held at the Lansing Center — which will give you and all your scantily clad college peers 125 thousand square feet to go nuts in a rainstorm of paint and EDM. It’s not outdoors where the music gets lost in the atmosphere and boring water falls from the sky, it’s inside, where the beats permeate the crowd and neon colors spray from all directions. Now we don’t condone drugs of any kind, but, come on.
Crowd
Past shows of Life in Color have boasted crowds that fill up entire stadiums, and let us remind you everyone is covered in goddam paint. It’s the world’s largest paint party — way bigger than the one held in the basement of your buddy’s frat last year (and with more, you know, girls). Like imagine adding EDM to the last scene in Ghostbusters I, when the Ghostbusters destroy the Marshmallow Man with energy streams from their proton packs and everyone in surrounding area is covered in marshmallow and ectoplasm. Yep, sorta’ like that.
Pride
Life in Color is like the more legitimate, way better version of “I’m Shmacked” —it’s a giant party that tours college campuses and is heavily broadcasted through social media. These days touring concerts and parties pair up schools just as much as college football does. You want the East Lansing show to be touted as the best Life in Color show ever right? You want to show shitholes like Miami and New York that Michigan parties harder than everyone else RIGHT!? Well there’s only one way to do that — show up!
The Black Sheep Interviews
Steveo Steve-O
The Black Sheep recently caught up with Steve-O on his national standup tour. Channeling our eighth-grade selves jumping off garages and lighting tennis balls on fire, we asked him every question we could possibly think of while holding back the strange urge to have him smash something over our crotch. He’s reinvigorated and risen from the ashes, so make sure to check out his new Youtube channel and follow him on Twitter, @SteveO.
The Black Sheep: How’d you originally end up working with the guys from Jackass? Steve-O: There was a skateboarding magazine back in the day called Big Brother, which was little more than a bad influence on kids. I loved it; it was really just the greatest magazine ever. I was in the magazine and the videos. The guy in charge of the operation reached out to Spike Jonze at one point and said “Hey man, everybody loves our videos, but no one cares about the skateboarding. I think if we subtract all of the skateboarding then what’s leftover would be a great TV show.” And when you took out the skateboarding, what you had left was me and Knoxville, and Wee Man, and Chris Pontius — and Bam was making a similar kind of video on the east coast — so we kinda merged camps, the Big Brother guys and the CKY guys and that was sort of how we all came together. TBS: For Jackass 3D you were completely sober.Is there a stunt from the past that you couldn’t have done sober? S: I should say I don’t know if I ever did stunts because I was wasted. I think I’ve always done stunts because I’m an attention whore. Getting sober hasn’t really changed that at all. But there was some particularly reckless stuff, one that comes to mind was being strangled unconscious six times in a row. TBS: By who? S: Ryan Dunn did that. We were on tour in England back in 2003, and Ryan Dunn choked me out six times in a row. Yeah, it was all on camera if you just go on Youtube and type “Steve-O Chokes” you can find it. Another one was on a three-day bender when I jumped out of an airplane with no parachute into the ocean. That one wasn’t so easy.
TBS: Which Jackass team member is most willing to take blows to the nuts? S: I don’t know that any of us are really psyched about it… We each have our own separate strengths when it comes to doing stupid things. But I don’t know that one guy stands out when it comes to nut shots. TBS: Is there anyone that won’t ever do them? S: No, we all do them, but we have considerable… I don’t want to say reluctance because we all do it. I mean we all do it, but we dread it. TBS: Looking at Johnny Knoxville, he seems to have aged more in the last 10 years than most people age in 30. How do you think you’ve managed to stay young-looking? S: (Laughs) Wow, I’ll take that as a compliment. I feel like I’ve aged pretty heavily as well, but if I guess if I were to agree with you then I’d have to blame that on healthy living. I quit smoking cigarettes and stopped doing drugs and drinking alcohol and I became a vegan. I exercise and stuff, surfing’s a big one. TBS: How many years until Johnny looks like Irving Zisman? S: I don’t know man, (laughs) I don’t know. TBS: How do you feel about having popularized the national phenomenon of buttchugging? S: Oh man, that is… I am incredibly honored for that. It’s incredible. Knoxville sent me this video about a press conference. There were some college frat kids butt-chugging and there was some kind of outrage about it. It was the funniest fucking thing ever. I think they even called it “butt-chugging,” I’m pretty sure I coined that term itself.
TBS: You’re known as one of the guys who does the most intense stunts, but which member of the Jackass crew grew the most in their willingness to do horrible things to their body over time? S: I don’t know, man. We all seem to have our different strengths, it’s kind of a “apples and oranges” question. Whenever no one is willing to do something at all, then the idea trickles down to Danger Ehren. He would be at the top of the pile when it comes to willingness, that’s kinda due to his exceptionally low IQ. TBS: In Wildboyz you got a hotdog whipped from your butt with a bull whip and got your ass stung multiple times by an African emperor scorpion, with that in mind, what is the most painful stunt you’ve done? S: Oh god, I hate that question. It’s all just so subjective, man. Pain just has different criteria, the duration of the pain is an issue. While electrocution hurts more than other stuff, it’s quicker. I hate that question. TBS: A lot of the guys, if they were afraid of snakes or spiders, then that’s the stunt they would do. What was your ‘phobia’? S: I hate roller coasters, which is why I was the perfect candidate for the poo potty. I mean I hate snakes too, I really do, but uh I don’t know if... Yeah like that one thing, I mean certainly rollercoasters are a big thing. TBS: Is it that falling feeling? S: It’s more like not being in control, like I can jump off of shit pretty easily. It’s like with bungee jumping when I’m looking off a bridge, I spent my life kinda jumping off of stuff so much, so I know heights pretty well. I don’t care what’s tied to me, when I look off something that’s 300
“I don’t know that one guy stands out
when it comes to nut shots.” feet high, I usually know not to jump so it’s hard to get past that instinct. I mean I had no problem jumping off the tower of London, which is like the tallest thing I’ve ever jumped off of.
didn’t notice how long it took my nose to heal because this weird kung fu instructor guy set it straight right after it happened. I’d say like three weeks I was in pretty good shape.
TBS: You’ve been sober now for five and a half years, no drugs, no alcohol, nothing. So what’s you’re favorite drug to not do? S: I mean… I don’t know how to answer that. I uh… I mean the reality is that if I pick up any drink or drug in short order I’ll be on everything again. I have no delusions about that. I love the saying you know “the alcohol bones connected to the weed bone, the weed bone’s connected to the cocaine bone” and so on…
TBS: Your giant back tattoo, what was the situation where that was done? Did you wake up and it was there or what?
TBS: Did you like being on Dancing with the Stars and hosting Killer Karaoke? Or was it just something to do? S: I, uh, Dancing with the Stars I really did enjoy a lot, Killer Karaoke had its moments. I, uh… but yeah neither of those two were my favorite. TBS: Either in your career or not, what was the best moment in your life so far? S: I’m so jazzed about my new Youtube channel. I would say that the Youtube channel is the exact opposite of Dancing with the Stars and Killer Karaoke. I get to do what I think is fucking awesome and it’s such a treat and a joy. TBS: How long did it take you to heal from the mighty fist of Mike Tyson? S: Eh, pretty quick. I had two black eyes for a while there. I
S: We were preparing to shoot the first Jackass movie and Jeff Tremaine said “Hey, don’t waste our time with any half-assed ideas because now this isn’t a TV show anymore, it’s a movie.” And I kinda took offense to the notion that I would suggest any halfassed ideas. So my immediate response to him was “Oh yeah, how about if I get me tattooed on me, larger than me?” My face on my back is way bigger than my face. TBS: You got a tattoo in January of Santa Claus crucified on your arm. Do you have a favorite tattoo? S: I like ShitFuck on my knuckles. I really do. Really because I’m quite proud of having carved out a place in my life that having profanities tattooed on my knuckles doesn’t hold me back. I’ve had ‘em… It’s been about exactly 10 years since I got ShitFuck tattooed on my hands. TBS: I’m telling readers to subscribe immediately to your blog because it’s honestly awesome. What can they expect to see you do on it in the future? S: I don’t know, I don’t want to give up any ideas, but I’m finishing up a lie detector bit. I don’t even know how it’s gonna come
out. I got Knoxville to come up a list of hilarious and uncomfortable questions for me to answer while attached to a lie detector test. I don’t know what the questions are, but I imagine they’re gonna be pretty fucking terrible. TBS: What can people expect to see on your tour this year? S: It’s filthy comedy and silly physical tricks. I think what makes my comedy unique and worthwhile is A: I’m absolutely shameless. And B: I’m rigorously honest. So if I tell a story you can damn well believe that it happened. And just judging by how shameless I am you can expect the stories to be incredibly juicy and revealing. You know I’ve been doing stand up for a long time and I’m really finding my voice and that’s exciting. People are really coming out and enjoying the show and that means a lot to me. TBS: Anything else we should know? S: At the end of every one of my shows, when I walk off stage I never do anything or go anywhere until I take a photo with anyone who wants one, and lots of times people have things they want to ask me or show me. And everybody gets a chance to do that. I stick around until the bitter end, ‘til everyone who wants one gets a photo. I don’t really know of anybody who does that. And it proves to me to be a lot harder of a job to do that than the show itself. I stay committed to that though, because I want to make it a special experience for the fans who are committed to that. By Tim Mackey
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