The Black Sheep
FRE E.. PRE . LIKE SSU THE RE OF CRIPP FIN LIN ALS G .
Vol. 6, Issue 14
THE COLLEGE NEWSPAPER THAT'S ACTUALLY ABOUT COLLEGE
5/1/14 - 5/7/14
FRESHMAN STILL TALKING ABOUT HOW HE WAS AT RIOTS MATHEW KENNEDY WROTE THIS At this point, the Minnesota Gophers hockey team has started to recover from their devastating loss in the NCAA Ice Hockey championship game. Also, Dinkytown has started to recover from the vicious rioting that happened after the tournament. However, freshman Jacob Thomas is still telling everyone about how he was at the riots a few weeks ago.
He has also become notorious for sharing riot pictures on his Instagram every Throwback Thursday.
“Dude, those riots?” Thomas brightened when the subject was brought up, “Hell yeah, I was there! I was one of the first ones there, dude! It was so insane!”
Thomas has also been said to be telling everyone a story about a “guy who got tackled.”
Thomas doesn’t realize that everyone else has gotten over the two nights of riots in the heart of Dinkytown, and he goes around showing everyone the video he took of a kid on top of a cop car. “It’s definitely kind of annoying,” said Ben Dickerson, Thomas’s roommate, “I mean, a lot of us were there. Everyone talked about it in class the next Monday, but really, after that, it was just a memory.” Thomas especially likes to show his friends at other schools that he was at the riot. Every few days, he posts a video that he filmed with his phone on his Facebook page about a frustrated reporter that was in Dinkytown that night.
“I got asked about it when I went home for Easter,” Thomas said proudly. “Everyone seemed really interested in it when I told them! How many college students get to say that THEY were in a riot? THAT’S how hard I go down at the U of M!”
“The ‘guy who got tackled’ story?” Thomas said, “A classic, dude! Basically, this one guy mooned the cops, and the cops just came and tackled him! It was insane!” Thomas has been seen talking about the “action” that he got that fateful night. “Get this. There was, like, a helicopter with a spotlight. Some guys were putting girls on their shoulders so everyone could see them. And these girls started flashing the helicopters! Like, with their boobs! I think I saw five total boobs that night. That’s like three more than my entire life.” “What? No.”Thomas said, confused, “I didn’t actually get to touch one or anything.”
Friends of Thomas have started to think some stories may be fabricated. “As time has gone on, we’ve noticed that he’s telling some weird stories,” one of Thomas’s friends claimed. “Like, just yesterday he was telling us that he got hit by a riot shield. We told him that we
didn’t see that, and he said that it happened when, conveniently, literally everyone there wasn’t looking. I mean, dude. The riots happened. No one really cares anymore. Get over it.” Thomas may be suffering from “social awkwardness.” Social awkwardness is often described in
people as someone who “keeps talking about something that others are done talking about.” Thomas seemed confused when asked about this. “Social awkwardness? What does that have to do with the riot?” Thomas asked. “I guess I don’t really understand what the question
means.” Thomas’s last known activity was him uploading a picture that he took with an unaware cop as his new profile picture, using the caption “U of M Riots!!!!” across several social media platforms.
PAGE 4
PAGE 5
PAGE 5
RIOT POLICE CALLED AFTER STUDENT JAYWALKS
TOP TEN REASONS YOU’RE A BARFING UMN STUDENT
WALKERS PREPARE FOR BIKE SEASON WITH KNEE PADS
IT’S A REALLY, REALLY BIG DEAL.
THE HIGH-HIGHS AND THE LOW-LOWS OF A COLLEGE STUDENT.
ONLY YOU KNOW HOW TO BEST PROTECT YOURSELF.
Keep Up With Us! @BlackSheep_UMN • theblacksheeponline.com
>>
Meet the Staff <<
CAMPUS MANAGER Alexandra Adams
CAMPUS DIRECTOR Brendan Bonham
ADVERTISING MANAGERS Joshua Auerbach
OWNER Atish Doshi
WRITERS Alexandra Adams, Megan Felz Cora Neisen, David Zirinsky Mathew Kennedy, Aron Wolde
FOUNDERS Atish Doshi, Brendan Bonham, Heather-Jo Erickson, Jimmy DeBlasio, Jessica Sommers, Quinn Myers
SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER Mathew Kennedy PROMOTIONS MANAGER It could be you!
OWNED & OPERATED BY: Black Card Media, LLC 2130 W. Potomac Avenue Suite 1, Chicago, Illinois 60622 Contact Corporate: 217.390.1747 For Advertising: 608.712.0900
DISCLAIMER: The Black Sheep in no way promotes, encourages or supports binge drinking, and/or under-age drinking.
QUESTIONS info@theblacksheeponline.com
This newspaper is designed for entertainment purposes only and does not recommend attempting anything printed in this publication.
ADVERTISING? ads@theblacksheeponline.com
Please drink...responsibly and legally.
Follow us! @BLACKSHEEP_UMN • THEBLACKSHEEPONLINE.COM Brand New, Luxury, Furnished, 10-Unit Apt. Building! Brand New, Luxury, Furnished, 56-Unit Apartments! City Views, Fireplaces, Walk-in Closets, Flat Screen TV’s, Large Balconies, Furnished Open Layout Floor Plan, Stainless Steel Appliances, Granite Countertops, In-Unit Washer & Dryer, Underground Assigned Parking! www.ELYSIANAPTS.com • 711 4th St SE • 612-379-1050
1-10 BEDROOM HOUSES, DUPLEXES, APARTMENTS, ROOM’S FOR RENT
City Views, Walk-in Closets, Flat Screen TV’s, Furnished Open Floor Plan, Stainless Steel Appliances, Granite Countertops, In-Unit Washer & Dryer, Covered Assigned Parking! Dinkytown • 525 10th Ave SE • 612.843.4888
NOW LEASING FOR 2014! CALL TODAY FOR SPECIALS!
CPMCOS.COM • 612.843.4888 • UOFMPROPERTY.COM • U. OF MINNESOTA AREA
@BLACKSHEEP_UMN GUESS THE MASCOT
#GOODTIMES #THEBLACKSHEEP
WORD, MAN TOMBSTONED The napping aftereffect of smoking entirely too much weed. Like, a lot.
“’Dude, I’m tombstoned,’ Tanner sighed, laying down the pipe, ‘I think I’m going to go nap for a while.’”
HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW
YOUR TATTOOS?
DO YOU KNOW WHICH CELEBRITY HAS THIS TATTOO? TWEET US @BLACKSHEEP_UMN. FIRST RIGHT ANSWER WINS A PRIZE!
TWEET US @BLACKSHEEP_UMN • FIRST RIGHT ANSWER WINS A PRIZE! LAST WEEK’S ANSWER: UCONN HUSKIES
STACHE SLUETH CAN YOU IDENTIFY THE MYSTERIOUS MAN WITH THE SWEET ‘STACHE? TWEET US @BLACKSHEEP_UMN FIRST RIGHT ANSWER WINS A PRIZE!
LAST WEEK’S ANSWER: ZAC EFRON
LAST WEEK’S ANSWER: KEVIN DURANT
READ MORE ONLINE THEBLACKSHEEPONLINE.COM
RIOT POLICE CALLED AFTER STUDENT JAYWALKS DAVID ZIRINSKY WROTE THIS Riot police were called to Dinkytown late Friday night when a series of violations of the Minnesota legal code occurred. When interviewed after the event, Police Commissioner Gorton said, “Friday night’s incident was no joke, guys. We had a huge public safety threat and we took decisive action to handle this, as is the mandate given to us by the public. When jaywalking occurs we are always vigilant. No matter the place or time of day, we will enforce the law.” One anonymous source in the Minneapolis Police Department said, “We were in constant contact with the mayor’s office as well as the Department of Defense last night. This was no joke.” Sources at the scene of the crimes said there were cops in every sort of vehicle: bikes, cavalry, police cars, and even a Humvee. “The more forms of transportation officers have the more intimating they are. We’ve even experimented with unicycle brigades.” “This all started when one guy jaywalked,” recounted eyewitness Hansel VonBuren. “Yeah, when there were no cars around this guy literally crossed the street in the middle of the block. Who does that?” She added, “Throughout the course of the night other pedestrians started following suit. It got crazy out there.” Soon officers were called to the scene. “We blocked off traffic in Dinkytown, because an absence of cars would get people to start walking on the sidewalk, using crosswalks like they’re supposed to, right?” Lt. Major Dick Wilbur said. However, he was surprised with the result, “Without hunks of metal whizzing by people started to cross the street whenever they wanted. So we did what any good American police does. We started beating people with riot sticks and shot a bunch of rubber bullets at them.” Eyewitnesses reported that soon people were running everywhere, and still not using crosswalks. Police started shooting rubber bullets at civilians on the sidewalks to clear them from the area. Next they began forming riot police lines. One “rioter” told The Black Sheep, “It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy when you have a bunch of cops around and they start to be violent. The best part was being shot with rubber bullets for standing on a sidewalk.” One college dropout Minneapolis policeman told The Black Sheep that “It’s a threat to [the Minneapolis Police Department’s] authority if 200 people are congregated in public together.” A criminology professor from the University of North Dakota pointed to another yearly celebration: Colorado’s 4/20 Fest. “There you have about 10,000 people blatantly violating the law in front of the state capitol every year. Even today when it’s
‘legal to smoke weed in Colorado’ you can’t do it in public. The cops don’t beat people and at the end of it there are no arrests.” When confronted about this Police Commissioner Gordon said, “Well that’s Colorado. We can’t handle people on the street not doing anything, because we just can’t. It’s not Minnesota Nice, I’m telling you!” The absence of people in Dinkytown at the end of the night proved that the police had done their jobs. One local business owner Jamie Nelson said, “Thank god the sidewalks are clear and people are using the crosswalks. I can sleep easy tonight knowing that there are those out there protecting the peace.”
LOOKING FOR AN INTERNSHIP? Marketing, Ad Sales, Writing, and more! Get experience doing something YOU LOVE!
04
APPLY ONLINE TODAY! theblacksheeponline.com
AROUND CAMPUS
THE
TOP
TEN
REASONS YOU’RE A BARFING UMN STUDENT ARON WOLDE WROTE THIS
Whether it be because of fantastic highs or tragic lows, ralphing all over the place is a college pastime. And while it’s remarkably gross, we can all agree that we’ve all done it or seen it happen, so let’s examine why. Here are the top 10 reasons you’re barfing at the University of Minnesota. 10.) You’re a freshman: Life is new and wonderful your first year in Minneapolis, but unfortunately most kids spend their first year figuring out the difference between dark and light liquor. Remember kiddos: beer before liquor, never been sicker, and things are never nice when you start with Natty Ice.
WALKERS PREPARE FOR BIKE SEASON WITH HELMETS, KNEE PADS CORA NEISEN WROTE THIS As spring begins to round the corner and the weather is warming up, Minnesota authorities have announced the start of bike season. While the number of bikers isn’t near the record amounts seen when class begins in the fall, there are still enough bikes to create worry among walkers. The University of Minnesota administration hopes that incidents on Washington Avenue will decrease due to the new bike lane, but others are not so confident. “I think this is a really serious issue that needs to be addressed again here in the spring,” junior Matt Brondstein commented. “One bike lane is not going to change the fact that the area in front of STSS can get to be as dangerous as the Korangal Valley.”
“I RENTED FULL-BODY MEDIEVAL ARMOR FROM THE MINNESOTA HISTORICAL SOCIETY BUT THAT SHIT REALLY JUST GOT TO BE TOO HEAVY.” Though some walkers just plow through these danger zones without proper protection, many have prepared extra precautions this spring after harrowing journeys to class in the fall. University officials speculate that many walkers have purchased head protection, knee pads, and elbow pads. It is rumored that some even have shoulder pads for the days with excess bikers. “First semester I was blindsided by a jerk on a bike, so I felt like I needed to prepare this semester with heavy-duty gear,” sophomore Jenny Handler commented from behind her hockey goalie mask, chest protector, and knee pads. “I was walking across The Bridge and before I knew it, my face was pressed against the pavement, my legs were twisted in the spokes of the bike, and my arms were looped around a bike rack,” she added. Many walkers find little comfort in wearing
pads to class, knowing that the speeds at which bikers travel are highly dangerous. The university reported that bikers travel at speeds averaging 23.4 mph. According to Rand Davis, Professor of Bicycle and Pedestrian Studies, these speeds are capable of catapulting walkers from an upright position off the side of The Bridge. “You really do just have to say a couple Hail Marys before leaving for class and accept the fact that you might return home missing a limb or something,” senior Ben Goetsh commented. “I mean, a class in STSS really is a death sentence.” While the university sent out a campus-wide email urging more cooperation from both bikers and walkers, many students think hostility has only increased between the two groups. “Hey, I have to get to class just like everyone else. We all have our own means of transportation, and it isn’t my fault they are peasants that even don’t know how to ride a bike, okay?” bike aficionado Jimmy Nelson told The Black Sheep before he hopped on his Trek 10-speed and sped away.
9.) You’re an awful cook: Okay, so you’re not a five-star chef, but you at least know how to cook food long enough to avoid food poisoning right? No? Then it looks like you’re headed to Yak Town. Better buy a cookbook and a couple of mints, things are gonna get rough. 8.) You have no idea how to clean: You don’t need to be in CBS to know that germs make you sick and when you’re sick you vomit. You also don’t need to be in CBS to tell you that the only difference between your bathroom and a hazardous waste site is a sink. Maybe some hand sanitizer, chief. 7.) You ate way too much: One day you’re too broke to buy ramen noodles (thanks for nothing, FlexDine) and the next your parents have sent you enough food money to feed an entire army. Overzealous and young, you’ll stuff your face while reminiscing on your hungry days, while at the same time forgetting that your stomach has a set capacity. 6.) You’re trying to get in shape: You decide it might be time to shed a few pounds at the ole’ Wellness Center. You start by doing the one thing you know all athletes do: carb load. Running three miles with a belly full of pasta is so bad it might be a circle of hell. Just keep the pounds, this is America dammit. 5.) You’re awkward: Talking to fellow Gophers might be easy for some, but for others… not so much. At a certain point in your college career you realize that it is easier to strangle someone than become their friend. During Spring Jam when a random person decides they actually want to spend time with you, the shock will literally spill out of you. 4.) You’re afraid: Fear barfing is actually a thing. You’ll have them either before or after an intense moment. Getting mugged? Fear barf. Job interview? Fear barf. Grad school? Fear barf like you wouldn’t believe. 3.) The blooming lotus strike of unspeakable evil: Only greatest martial arts masters and cheesy fraternity brothers know this move. A strike so powerful you are forced to the ground where you then vomit. 2.) You’re pulling consecutive all-nighters: People don’t see this coming, but if you don’t sleep for a really long time, you will ralph. Surviving off of coffee and energy drinks is one reason for this, but it’s mostly your body falling apart. So this finals week, better bring a barf bag and a mug with you to Walter Library. 1.) That burp got away from you: So you had a soda and need to burp, no problem. Not like you haven’t done that before, but oh wait, your tum-tum pulls a lateral and you’re spitting up your lunch like a big boy. Smooth, very smooth.
It’s students like Nelson that cause their peers to feel unsafe, even with full-body armor. “I rented full-body medieval armor from the Minnesota Historical Society but that shit really just got to be too heavy. I felt too exposed in just a football helmet so I hired two former Jesse Ventura bodyguards. I even found a Groupon!” Kate Banam told us behind two expressionless The Rock-look-alike men. Authorities expect a full-fledged Tour de France on The Bridge soon, so they suggest all walkers to take precautions. While armor might be too costly for most, experts strongly urge all walkers to protect themselves with at least helmets and knee pads.
05
AROUND CAMPUS SEND US YOUR PARTY PICS TO PICS@THEBLACKSHEEPONLINE.COM
ON THE STREETS WHAT IS THE WORST THING YOU’VE EVER PUT IN YOUR MOUTH? Luke, Freshman
“An old dollar bill.”
Kurt, Freshman
“No comment.”
Cam, Freshman
“I think I ate poop once when I was a kid.”
FOLLOW US ON TWITTER @BLACKSHEEP_UMN
A LESSON ON CINCO DE MAYO TRADITIONS STAFF WROTE THIS
The following is an excerpt from an essay written for LLS 227 (Latina/Latino Studies: Latinas/Latinos in Contemporary US) by Ethan Fitzsimmons of Hinsdale, IL.: Cinco de Mayo, which is Spanish for “The Fifth of May,” is one of the most important Mexican holidays of the year. Like the Fourth of July, Cinco de Mayo is simply named because it is the celebration of a country’s independence, in this case, Mexican Independence Day. The Fifth of May commemorates the anniversary of the battle of the Alamo, which everyone remembers, was the final battle for independence against the Spanish. One of Mexico’s founding fathers, Che Guevara, was the first to celebrate Cinco de Mayo by inventing the red cotton t-shirt. Supporters of the t-shirt magnate can be seen on college campuses across the country. In contemporary times, people celebrate by drinking Mexican beer, such as Corona, Dos Equis, or Bud Light. Another popular beverage is the tequila shot. The invention of the tequila shot was originally a homage to the “shots” fired during the battle of the Alamo. The symbolic tradition of chasing the tequila with lime and salt started during the Mexican Revolution. The tricolor of the Mexican flag—green, white and red—are represented by the lime, salt and the color of your face after drinking tequila. Cinco de Mayo is sometimes referred to as the “Mexican St. Patrick’s Day,” but instead of Irish Car Bombs, a popular drink is the “Drive By,” which is created by drinking at least 10 shots of tequila and subsequently pouring out a forty in memory of your “compadres.”
important concept to remember about ordering food at a Mexican restaurant is scheduling. Ask yourself, “When is the next time I will be close to a bathroom?” and order accordingly.
Dressing in traditional Mexican garb is also common during Cinco de Mayo. Sombreros and the Mexicanblanket sweaters commonly worn by hipsters are considered customary clothing for the ancient Mexican people. To find the best selection of traditional Mexican clothing, shop at retailers specializing in exotic apparel, such as Ragstock. Don’t hesitate to buy a pair of maracas. Maracas are the oldest known musical instrument from Mexico and therefore add historical accuracy of any Cinco de Mayo outfit.
For Cinco de Mayo activities, soccer–or “football”–is one of many ways to entertain yourself and your “amigos.” Football is a popular sport because not much equipment is required. Simply a ball, a field, and the uncanny ability to fake an injury are all the ingredients for even the most amateur footballer. If you and your amigos prefer a more stationary lifestyle, consider taking a “siesta” during midday. Simply take a break from your daily responsibilities and relax for several hours.
Some people ask how to know which restaurants are the best for traditional Mexican cuisine. Although Taco Bell is always a good option, look for restaurants that attract a large number of Hispanic people. The
When asked to comment on the essay, Fitzsimmons said, “I stopped going to that class halfway through. All that information was what I learned in high school.” Ethan declined to comment on the grade the paper received.
ONE M FREE ONTH RENT !
Live on the Right Side of the Tracks.
Call 612.379.6082 to schedule an appointment or visit TheRailApts.com
Featured Amenities: Large Bedrooms Big Units A Bathroom for Every Bedroom Workout Facility Club Room
now leasing for fall 2014!
SPECIAL NIGHT
EVERYDAY! $4 Landshark and Bud Light Light, $3.50 Bud Light, $3.50 Jose Cuervo and Jose Cuervo Cinge
TUES: 8pm - Midnight: Shamrock Burgers 8pm - close: $5 Domestic Lite Pitchers, $5 Margaritas, $3 Tequila Shots
Sunday Funday! Flip for Free Drinks (Any Drink or Shot) 4pm - Close
EVERYDAY: Happy Hour 3-6PM: $2 Select Beers & Drinks, 1/2 Price Select Apps
SUNDAY: Service Industry Night! Show pay-stub from your bar or club and get free cover!
SAT: $3 Wells & Domestic Bottles (7pm-10pm)
Thursday 5/1
8pm-Close: All-U-Care-2-Drink with a College or Military ID $10 AUC2D Domestic Taps & Well Mixers, $1 O-Bombs $3 UV Vodka
9pm - Close: $3 Coors Light, $3 Long Islands, $5 Personal Pizzas until 1:30am
Karaoke Thursdays! $2 You Call It Drinks and $3 Shots from 10-close.
1/2 Price Bottles of Wine Starting at 5pm Happy Hour 3-6PM & 10PM12AM: $2 Select Beers & Drinks, 1/2 Price Select Apps
Military ID Night: Show your military ID for free cover
No Cover! $3 Cruzan Run $3 Budweiser Products, $3 Cruzan Rum and Svedka $6 Dozen Wings (7pm-Midnight)
8pm - Close: $3 Mich. Golden Light Pints $3 Rails, Live Music 10pm Close, $3 Grape Apes, $5 Personal Pizzas until 1:30am
$2 Rails & Tier 1 Pints: 9pm - 11pm $3 Rails & Tier 1 Pints, $4 Tier 2 Pints: 11pm Close
Happy Hour 3-6PM $2 Select Beers & Drinks 1/2 Price Select Apps
Free Huge Hotdog Buffet Midnight to Close
$3 Wells & Domestic Bottles (7pm-10pm)
Saturday 5/3
Win Prizes All Night! 8pm-Close: $4 Bacardi $2 Mini Bombs (Jäger, Cherry & Orange)
9pm - Close: $3 Domestic Bottles 9pm - Midnight: $3 You-Call-It Shots $5 Personal Pizzas until 1:30am
$2 Rails & Tier 1 Pints: 9pm - 11pm $3 Rails & Tier 1 Pints, $4 Tier 2 Pints: 11pm - Close
$10 Bottomless Bloody Marys & Screwdrivers 10am-Midnight Happy Hour 3-6PM $2 Select Beers & Drinks 1/2 Price Select Apps
Free Huge Hotdog Buffet Midnight to Close
$3 Wells & Domestic Bottles (7pm-10pm)
Sunday 5/4
The Bar Grid
Call 612.379.6082 to schedule an appointment or visit TheRailApts.com
Open ONLY DURING Twins Games & Special Events $3 Wells and Domestic Taps $4 Calls, Micro/Import Taps
10am - 2pm: $5 Stack of Pancakes, $4 Bloody Mary’s Screwdrivers 6pm - 11pm: All burgers $6.99, 8 - 11pm: Buy any app or dessert get a free pitcher of domestic or lite beer 8-close: $3 Domestic Bottles and $2.50 Rail Drinks
Sunday Funday! Flip for Free Drinks (Any Drink or Shot) 4pm - Close
$10 Bottomless Bloody Marys & Screwdrivers 10am-Midnight | Happy Hour 3-6PM & 10PM-1AM, $2 Select Beers & Drinks 1/2 Price Select Apps
Service Industry Night! Show pay-stub from your bar or club and get free cover!
No Cover! Inventory Reduction Sunday (IRS) $3 Specials that change every Sunday from 7pm-Close
8pm - Close: $3 Coors Mugs, $5 Jameson Gingers, All Day Pizza for Pennies! Buy any large pizza and get the 2nd pizza for $0.99
Flippin' Drinks! Flip for Free Drinks (Any Drink or Shot) 9pm - Close
$2 Sloppy Jacks All Day Happy Hour 3-6PM & 10PM-12AM: $2 Select Beers & Drinks, 1/2 Price Select Apps
College ID Night! Free cover with any College ID - old or new!
NO COVER! Happy Hour Drinks: 3:30pm-Close $3 Domestic Bottles, $3 Rail Drinks, $4 Specialty Bottles, $4 Call Drinks, $5 Top Shelf Drinks $0.35 Wings 8pm-11pm (Dine in only)
8pm - Midnight: Shamrock Burgers 8pm - close: $5 Domestic Lite Pitchers, $5 Margaritas, $3 Tequila Shots
Birthday Karaoke Night!
Taco Tuesdays 5pm-10pm Root City Trio at 9:30pm Happy Hour 3-6PM, 10PM-12AM: $2 Select Beers & Drinks, 1/2 Price Select Apps
Ladies Night! Free cover for all ladies Men: Wear any Deja vu or Hustler apparel and get in free!
No Cover! Karaoke: 9pmClose, Beer Pong, $3 Budweiser Products and Well Drinks, $3 Heineken, Heineken Light, Amstel Light & Dos Equis Bottles 7pm-midnight, $5 Mini Burger Platter (7pm-11pm)
$2 Half Pound Burgers 5-10pm Happy Hour 3-6PM & 10PM-12AM: $2 Select Beers & Drinks, 1/2 Price Select Apps
Amateur Night: Watch your sexy coeds on stage for the first time compete for $200! Contest Starts at 11:30pm Open to all Ladies
No Cover! Kill The Keg: $5 Bottomless Miller High Life Taps $3 Miller Lite Bottles, $3 Vodka, $3 Captain $5 Pizzas 8pm-Midnight
Mason Jar Monday (8pm-Close)
Tuesday 5/6
$3 Bud & Bud Light Taps $3 Double UV Vodka & Rails $5 Bud & Bud Light Pitchers $10 Bud or Bud Light Towers
$3 U-Call It’s Rails, Calls and Every Beer on Tap
Wednesday 5/7
Monday 5/5
Friday 5/2
Win Prizes All Night!
8pm-Close: $4 Three Olives Vodka, $5 Three Olives Flavored Long Islands, $2 Mini Bombs (Jäger, Cherry & Orange)
8pm-Close: $0.25 Wings with College or Military ID, or purchase of a $8 AUCD wristband. ($0.50 without) $8 AUC2D Miller Lite Tap, Wells, Bacardi Oakheart, $1.50 Miller High Life “Tall Boys”
8pm - close: $5 for one pound of boneless wings, $2 for 1’s
Bring in 5 Friends 21+ & The Birthday Person Drinks for Free! (excludes shots & top shelf)
$3 Tier 1 Mugs, $4 Tier 2 Mugs, $3 Long Island Pints
Wings N Things $0.39 Wings: 4pm - 10pm 2-4-1 Drinks (9-Close)
the crossword ACROSS: 3) The drummer of The Roots. 5) Legendary drag queen famous for saying, “You better work.” 6) Eccentric, blinged-out pianist. 7) Most famous Icelandic performer. 8) Producer and rapper, also the name of a shoe brand. 9) This massive basketball player often goes by just this abbreviation of his first name. 11) This singer went by just a symbol at one point. 13) High-end Italian fashion company. 15) His first and middle name was Wolfgang Amadeus. 16) “Yo dog, I heard you like cars so we put a car in yo car so you can drive while you drive.” 19) Italian model with gorgeous hair.
famous one-word people 2) Lead singer of The Smiths. 4) “Parting is such sweet sorrow.” 5) Her instagram name is badgalriri. 10) Blue Ivy’s mother. 11) Famous Native American associated with the colonial settlement of Jamestown, Virginia. 12) The best-selling female recording artist of all time. 14) This “L.E.S. Artistes” real name is Santi White. 17) He’s got two turntables and a microphone. 18) The breakout star of D12.
DOWN: 1) This rapper biggest hit was 2006’s “Ridin’.”
m o c . e n i l n O p e e h S k c a l B e G GAMES Th IN K IN R D | PECIALS | BAR S ARTICLES
Are You SMARTER
ALEXANDRA ADAMS,
THE BLACK SHEEP CAMPUS MANAGER
DRINKING GAME
THAN?
1) Politics: Of which political party was Abraham Lincoln originally a member?
6) Business: CTO is shorthand for this business title.
2) World History: The Punic Wars saw Rome square off with what now-nonexistent civilization?
7) Geography: Seven states in the contiguous United States have rainforests in them. Name three.
3) Music: This legendary rock group released a 2002 greatest hits album titled, Forty Licks?
8) Cars: What automaker recently made headlines after issuing a massive recall of their Cobalt?
4) Twitter: What performing artist is the most-followed person on Twitter?
9) Card Games: In Texas Hold ‘Em, the last card played is said to be “on the” what?
5) TV: What TV series often titles episodes, “The Gang…”
10) Fiction: In Alice in Wonderland, there is a caterpillar best known for smoking what?
Alexandra’s Answers
Correct Answers
1) Republican 2) Don’t know 3) The Rolling Stones 4) Lady Gaga 5) Friends 6) Chief Technical Officer 7) North Carolina, South Carolina, California 8) Chevy 9) The River 10) Hookah
1) Whig 2) Carthage 3) Rolling Stones 4) Katy Perry 5) It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia 6) Chief Technical Officer 7) California, Oregon, Washington, Virginia, Tennessee, North Carolina, Georgia 8) Chevy 9) River 10) Hookah
Alexandra’s Score: 5.5 out of 10
RECIPE for DISASTER
Piñatas and Patrón
Seven-Layer Taco Dip
If these aren’t the first things that come to mind when someone says “Cinco de Mayo,” then you’re definitely doing the holiday wrong. Get your amigos, a bottle of tequila and a baseball bat together in the same room and have a good time! What could go wrong?
In honor of Cinco de Mayo, we present to you a recipe from the forgotten food group: dips and salsas. Traditionally, this dip is eaten with chips, but we won’t tell if you just want to dig in with your bare hands. It’s better that way.
What You’ll Need: A bottle of Patrón, a piñata full of your favorite candy, a baseball bat, a blindfold and shot glasses. Number of Players: As many as you want. Level of Intoxication: Bruised and boozed, baby!
What You’ll Need: 1 can of refried beans, 1 package of cream cheese (softened), 1 container of sour cream, 1 jar of salsa, 1 tomato, 1 green pepper, 1 small head of lettuce, 1 small can of sliced black olives, 2 cups of shredded cheddar cheese, and 1 package of taco seasoning mix. Cook Time: 15 minutes Fatty Factor: Who cares, it’s the end of the school year.
How to Play: - Find a spot to hang your piñata. Get your engineering friends to help you with this. - Have everyone stand in a circle around the piñata. - Randomly pick someone to go first (rock-paper-scissors, whatever you want to do) and blindfold them. - This person has three chances to hit the piñata with the baseball bat while blindfolded. One person controls the rope of the piñata and can move it up or down to mess the person up. The other people in the circle should probably move out of the way for this … - Out of the three chances to hit the piñata, the blindfolded player has to take a shot of tequila for every miss. - Once he or she has taken the shots, the next person in the circle puts on the blindfold. The player who was just blindfolded now gets to control the rope. The Game Ends When: The piñata is busted open or someone gets hit with the bat. Please don’t let that happen.
DOWNLOAD OUR FREE APP FOR ALL THE GAMES!
Let’s Get Baked: - Get a big-ass dish for your dip. - In the bottom of the pan, spread the beans and taco seasoning. - In another bowl, mix together the sour cream and cream cheese, then spread them on top of the beans. - Add the next layer—the whole jar of salsa. - Chop up the tomato and bell pepper and sprinkle them on top of the salsa. - Pull apart the lettuce and lay that on next. - Top the dip with shredded cheese and black olives and dig in! We’re not really sure if this is seven layers or not. It depends on how you look at it. So, just to be safe, throw some tacos and guacamole on top too.
NOMNOMNOMNOM THEBLACKSHEEPONLINE.COM
FIND THE MYSTICAL BLACK SHEEPS
Can you find all the black sheeps in the mystical wonder world? Email us at backpage@theblacksheeponline.com. If you’re right, you’ll win a prize!
the wordsearch
latest pinnacle vodka flavors
Rainbow Sherbert Strawberry Shortcake Blackberry Cucumber Watermelon Peach Pumpkin Pie Cake Gummy Coconut Cookie Dough Marshmallow Red Berry Pineapple Atomic Hots Cotton Candy Whipped Cherry Lemonade Tropical Punch Butterscotch Root Beer
THE
700
O N WA S H I N G TO N Leasing Office Location: 720 Washington Ave SE, Minneapolis, MN Like us on Facebook for Leasing Specials! (866) 629-8022 • 700washington.com • #700onWashington
REDUCED RATES & LEASING SPECIALS
NOW LEASING
SEPTEMBER 2014
Now offering free room service and 10% off your bill for all 700 On Washington residents!
TCF Stadium and Campus Views! Watch the Gophers and MN Vikings play out of your living room, floor-to-ceiling windows!
EAST & WEST BANK STUDENT HOUSING
SPACES FILLING FAST FOR FALL 2014 gopherstudenthousing.com
UNIVERSITY COMMONS
GRANDMARC SEVEN CORNERS
R E C E N T LY U P G R A D E D A M E N I T I E S + S AV E $ 2 0 0 W I T H R E D U C E D F E E S
R AT E S A S LO W A S $ 4 8 9 + S AV E $ 1 9 9 W I T H Z E R O D O W N
walk to class • furnished apartments available • private beds & baths available resort-style amenities • bike storage • garage parking available
Fees, rates & amenities are subject to change. See office for details. Limited time only.