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• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
Volume 3, Issue 1 9/6/12 -9/12/12
theblacksheeponline.com @blacksheep_om
The Grove and things of the sort Ryanne Flanders wrote this So, we all know it’s the start of school and, more importantly, football season. With this knowledge comes great responsibility. Freshmen, we’re talking to you here. Please, PLEASE stop everything you’re doing. Seriously, you guys need to chill. Everything is not the most serious thing in the world. Like, stop running to class. And, please realize the Student Union is a place to eat, not a social club. Also, stop dressing up for class like you’re going to the club. No, you won’t get a football player. Yes, you will get herpes. But please dress up for the Grove. We know, it’s not comfortable. Please put forth some effort. Don’t dress like you’re going to prom, but don’t dress like you’re going to a game at, say, Mississippi State. Wear something cute, as comfortable as possible, and dress-casual. For girls, you can wear light dresses, skirts, skinnies with a cute top, etc. Some people will say you have to wear heels, but just know that you will be crying by the time you get to the stadium. We’d say drink a bourbon and Coke, but you guys are underage and we’re not going to go to jail for you. Seriously, we couldn’t possibly care less about your wellbeing. Guys, basically wear khakis, some type of loafer or boat shoe, and a collared shirt of sorts. Try to get something with a horse, whale, or crocodile in white, red, or blue. Also, colored pants are super in these days. You don’t HAVE to dress like this, but really, you do. Don’t get mad at us if you choose to ignore our advice and stand out like a sore cowbell ringer. As a freshman it can be hard finding your place in the Grove. However, everyone is really drunk and super welcoming. So, if you don’t have a place to go just walk around, compliment someone’s Tory Burch or pastel pants, and wait to be welcomed. You get free food, alcohol, and a ton of people have TVs to watch the game. Don’t worry that you’re taking advantage, these people love it, and they can totally afford it. Don’t be alarmed if you see old people walking around acting like they’re twenty. Let them be. Once you graduate, you’ll get a job (seriously, people here get awesome jobs) and become stuffy and boring. The Grove is a place where you can always let your hair down. Realize that in ten (or fifty) years that will be you, stumbling drunkenly into a freshman, apologizing, and blaming it on your artificial hip. We have a saying around here:
your first college facebook album
what the title says about youuuuuuuu!!!!
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You may graduate, but you never leave Ole Miss. So true. We’re like a cult. But a well-dressed, fun cult that likes sleeping with one another. Now that we’ve lectured you freshies, it’s time to give a taste to the upperclassmen. We really only have one request: don’t get arrested. Okay, we lied. We have a few requests. If you’re 21, you’re DEFINITELY going to the Square after, right? Heck, you’re going even if you’re not 21. But, the advice is the same. Please, please, don’t bump into us and make us spill our drink.
what’s inside
It’s not cute. There’s a serious epidemic of bingers. We really need you guys to tone it down, and stop being offensive and sloppy. It’s so much more chic to just chill. Get drunk, have fun, dance. Whatever. We know you all were wondering what you were going to do this weekend, so now you know. You’re welcome. You have the life skills necessary to succeed in Oxford! Go spread your wings, our blue and red butterfly!
our guide to the apocalypse
bartender of the week
read up on what to do when robots finally take over.
stewart v., let’s say natalie portman and thomas jefferson walk into the corner...
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