Vol.6, Issue 1
The Black Sheep THE COLLEGE NEWSPAPER THAT'S ACTUALLY ABOUT COLLEGE
FRE TIC E...LIK KET E O GIV UR EAW SUP AY O ER B N P OWL AGE 3!
1/23/14 - 2/5/14
OLE MISS STUDENT’S MONEY
MYSTERIOUSLY VANISHES OVER BREAK BY: LOGAN LITTLE There is another case of theft in the South 18th Street area of Oxford, Ms. A University of Mississippi student has reported a theft of nearly $450 upon returning back to town after spending his winter break everywhere but home. “I was just at Walgreens and I was gonna get a little cash back after buying this thing of ChapStick, and the guy was all like, ‘You got enough for the ChapStick but not for the cash back.’ I was like ‘dude, you are a literal idiot, I have 2 sets of grandparents and 2 sets of step-grandparents. I got cash breh’,” says University of Mississippi student Jared Michaelson. “Then I tried again and it still wouldn’t work. So I go to check my balance at the ATM and dude I only have 3 dollars, so I think ‘whatever, I still got my Christmas cash in my wallet.’ I crack open the ole ostrich skin and all I’ve got are a couple dust bunnies. I cleaned those out, ‘cause that’s nasty, then I called the police.” “Yeah I was the first in,” mounted unit Sergeant Hamilton “Ham” McMahan tells us, “I was pretty close because, I mean, it was a Tuesday night in the beginning of January. Outside of covering the crosswalks in horse shit we don’t really have much to do. Anyway, I heard dispatch talkin’ about this theft, so me and my steed, Misty, we went down to check it out.” Upon arrival Sergeant Ham McMahan cleared the store of any suspects. After getting a 99-cent Arizona Tea and a little
cash back, he taped off the area blocking any customers from leaving the store. Michaelson, the sole customer, was questioned by the sergeant in an attempt to narrow down a possible suspect in the theft of his Christmas money. ”I wanted to get an official story on record of where he had been and who he had been with, so that we could pick out some possible perps, plus it gave me a chance to brush Misty. If you don’t show your Equidae consistent love and care then they won’t charge into battle with you.” Michaelson reports that he received the money from his GamGam, GG, Mamaw, and Mawmaw in several “hard–to-open envelopes,” in which the actual cash was covered by a “sort of cash holder book thing” with “Christmas shit and old grandma handwriting on it.” He states that after throwing away the external wrappings and cards he placed the money in his wallet, where it stayed until he returned back to Oxford and tried to get some ChapStick and a little cash back. “It doesn’t make sense, dude. I got that money Christmas day, and I put it right in my wallet. I went out Christmas night with some bros from home, went to my pledge brother’s deer camp in Greenwood those next few days, and I know it was still in there,” says Michaelson. “After that me and my dawg Jake went down to the coast to the casino but his fake
wouldn’t get him in so we just went to Hooters and got smashed, and I know I still had it after that.” Michaelson states that his wallet remained on his person throughout the New Years Eve trip to New Orleans, and he was even able to not lose it on the slopes of Denver during his New Year ski trip with friends. After keeping up with his wallet on the
plane ride to Memphis and driving back to his South 18th home, Michelson says the last stop he made was for some ChapStick and a little cash back. “It just doesn’t make sense, I don’t know what happened.” The incredible stealth and secrecy used in the theft of the Christmas money leads law enforcement to believe that they might be dealing with a master pickpock-
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ABROAD STUDENT’S TRAVEL BLOG AWARDED PULITZER PRIZE IT’S THE PERFECT BALANCE BETWEEN COUNTERCULTURALISM AND FORCED CONFORMITY.
et, or some clan of young orphan thieves. Sergeant Ham McMahan reports “It’s really sad to see someone just want a little cash back and not get it, but what’s even sadder is that this hard-earned Christmas money was stolen by some punk, and is just out their being spent on who knows what? Probably cheap booze and doublecut drugs.”
PAGES 10-11
TOP 10: GUYS WHO ARE THAT GUY
WE INTERVIEW: THE CEREMONIES
TRY TO BE UNLIKE ANY OF THESE TOP 10 DOUCHES.
WE CHAT WITH THE TRIO OF BROTHERS ABOUT THEIR UPCOMING TOUR AND SELF-TITLED EP.
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A Roommate’s Duty BY: BARNEY THOMPSON
After spending six weeks at home being waited on hand and foot by your hyper-compassionate mother, heading back to your sometimes-condemned college home filled with people as loud and as obnoxious as yourself might be a rude awakening. So, The Black Sheep is here to rescue you. We’re going to give you a few pointers on making the wackness of maintaining a mostlyhealthy life into something a little more bearable (and substance-fueled). Also, hopefully we can prevent you from getting into a fist fight with your roommates when they refuse to bring you a stacked platter of Bagel Bites. Let’s start with the basics: laundry. Laundry sucks, it takes forever and the constant rattling completely destroys the aural tension of Breaking Bad. How can you appreciate Mike if you can’t hear his silence? So, how do you make laundry not suck? You add alcohol. If you’re doing your delicates, enjoy a few white Russians. Washing all your goodwill jeans? Take a pull from your Green Label for each pant leg washed. Don’t have any Williams Green Label? Go get some and start being a real Ole Miss student. You might be surprised at how awesome doing the laundry is when you’re smashed on a fifth of C-Mo spiced rum. Right, so your laundry is done and folded with minimal vomit stains, but you’ve still got a homeencompassing mess on your hands. Pizza boxes litter the floor like freshmen at the Levee’s bathroom, your table is covered in empty PBR cans, and every lamp in the place has some sort of underwear thrown over it because fire hazards are awesome. Basically, this is gonna be a raging pain your ass to clean up. You know what makes cleaning up the best thing in the world? Adderall. With the way your mother sounds the alarm ev-
ery time you have the sniffles, it’s probably a safe bet that she got you prescribed during the middle school A.D.D. craze. You feel like this is “abusing” a “substance,” but what is your medication for if not to help you sweep, vacuum, mop, dust, and give everything a coat of Pledge in less time than it takes for sorority girls to buy out all the extralarge shirts. Well, the laundry’s done and you can cross the room without kicking over your buddy’s Medicali “water pipe,” but oh no, the yard’s gone to shit since you’ve been away. Patchy and littered with fast food bags, it pretty much puts a sign on your roof with flashing lights alerting the authorities to your activities. Well, the Adderall consumption has you pretty twitchy and that’s no good for handling machinery as heavy as a lawn mower, so you’re gonna need to calm down a bit. Xany’s are completely out of the question, we don’t need you showing up at Kroger with a lawn mower and someone’s small child. That means the next best way to mellow out enough to get rid of all that grass is to get rid of some of your grass. Since you’re obviously from a state where it’s legal, you’re not really breaking any laws. So pack your buddy’s Medicali piece that you didn’t break earlier and get centered. Now you’re not just mowing the lawn, you’re helping the world look that much better and showing the earth mother how totally rad she is. There it is, we’ve transformed you from a sober college student with a filthy house into a substance-consuming, house cleaning machine with minimal damage to your liver. Hopefully this will help keep the peace between you and your roommates for at least a few days, until the whole place decomposes back into a crack den.
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Abroad Student’s Travel Blog Awarded Pulitzer for “International Reporting” BY: BLACK SHEEP STAFF Cited by the 2013-2014 Pulitzer Prize Board for its “unparalleled attention to detail for worldly issues” and an “irrevocably fresh take on experimental journalism that would leave even Hunter S. Thompson’s mind blown,” junior Daniel Colins has received a Pulitzer Prize for his travel blog, “London Calling (for Daniel).” During his four months studying abroad in the UK, Colins’ WordPresspublished series of stories tackled important and controversial topics such as commenting on cultural differences between British and American McDonald’s restaurants, economic instability as the US dollar becomes more and more akin to cheap toilet paper, and how things in Europe are just “like, so, so different, you don’t even know.” “Colins is precisely what the world of journalism needed: a wake-up call,” commented Board Chair Paul C. Tash. “I remember stumbling upon his blog when it had just broken its 3-follower landmark, and the size-10 Helvetica stream-of-consciousness narrative reminded me of a young James Joyce. I read Colins’ now-infamous story on how his fish and chips were a little too dry and crispy for his taste, and I just thought, that’s it … he gets it. When no one else was bold enough, he just stepped up to the plate and said it. It was abrasive, and it was the sort of rebellious attitude in reporting that leaves a tear in my eye.” Colins’ blog started out as a small personal project when he became dissatisfied with the UK’s Netflix selection. However, once his story “Netflix in England fucking sucks” garnered the attention of his mother, the blog caught on like wildfire. Soon, Colins’ audience wasn’t just his mother anymore, but several of his aunts, uncles, and even his grandmother as well.
With comments left by relatives such as, “hey buddy looks like ur havin a blast!!!!!!!!!!” and “so proud!! we luv u and miss u very much baby :),” it was clear that Colins’ readership was hooked. “It really just came down to me, as a writer, struggling with my voice in an eternal struggle that tested both my agency and my consciousness,” remarked Colins in between coughing fits as he took multiple small drags from his cigarette. Once Colins’ mother addressed him in an email as “our little writer,” he began purchasing several packs of cigarettes a day in order to cope with the stress associated with his profession. “It’s just like, you can’t just write about how lame it is that you have to pay to use bathrooms in Europe, hit ‘Publish,’ and just be done. That shit eats away at you and never stops. When I finished my work on ‘A 30 pence poop,’ I developed a dependency on sleeping pills.” The Pulitzer Board has also recognized Colins’ for the “Feature Photography” category as well due to his “Pics from abroad” collection and selections from his Instagram account. Both collections—featuring blurry duplicates of random buildings, food, selfies, and synchronized group jump photos—left the Board absolutely speechless, with many of the members applauding the 8-megapixel quality and tasteful use of brown, blue, and pink filters to give the photos “that spark of human life you normally lose in a still.” One photo in particular of Colins at a pub drinking his first Guinness giving a “thumbs up” received a standing ovation when reviewed by the Board. “It was the perfect balance of counter-culturalism and the forced confor-
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mity of modern social constructs,” commented one member. “Colins has flawlessly illustrated the unforgivably difficult of question of what exactly is the state of the contemporary human condition. His ‘thumbs up’ is the single biggest finger to the establishment that has ever been raised so defiantly. Plus, the foam on his Guinness was the perfect amount of froth.” Upon receiving his Pulitzer, Colins was awarded a fellowship from the University of Cambridge in order to begin the next installation of his coverage, reportedly focusing specifically on the realization and aftermath of learning that “Big Ben” actually refers to the clock, not the entire Parliament building. “To put it in layman’s terms, my mind is producing the truth at two-hundred miles per hour, and I’m just trying to catch what I can using these fingers of God-given journalistic integrity bestowed upon me,” coughed Colins as he adjusted his sunglasses and took drags from all six cigarettes in his mouth. “I stand to represent the thousands of us travel bloggers out there who couldn’t find their voice. Anyone can say they’re ‘so blessed for these life-changing experiences’…but not everyone can feel it.”
THE
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TEN
GUYS WHO ARE THAT GUY BY: MICAJAH HENLEY
Being at college, it’s easy to fall into the easy-to-fall-into stereotypes, but your friends miss the old, sane version of you. We don’t want you to be that guy anymore than you do, so we advise you check yourself against this list to be safe.
Local’s Mom Likes This BY: KNOWLTON BOURNE Oxford, MS- Ole Miss student and former social media user Jamie Tattleton was extremely troubled on Saturday morning after logging in to Snapchat, only to find two new requests from none other than Tattleton’s parents. “It was super messed up. Like, I logged on and saw ‘OleMizzDad56’ and ‘RebelMommy6969’ had asked to be my friend,” the shaken-up student explained as he gripped the sides of his space blanket, completely fraught by the discomfort of the situation. Tattleton continued, “Not only had my parents managed to create Snapchat accounts, but they had taken and, unfortunately, mastered the ‘selfie.’ Mom’s picture showed her craning towards her bathroom mirror, hips cocked and classic duckface-smile in full force, reminiscent of a 16-year-old scene queen on MySpace. Dad’s was even worse. He had taken a picture of himself from an elevated angle, peace sign thrown up, upper lipped snarled to the right, and an illustrated speech bubble exclaiming, ‘Wut Up?!?!?! Go Rebz!!!!” The upset senior initially ignored these wildly disturbing images until he later logged into his Instagram account. “ That’s when it all really began. Both my mother and father had followed me on Instagram, but what was truly disturbing was they had more followers and likes than I. Mom had a complete set of food porn pictures and my Dad had compiled an actually impressive collection of cat memes and pictures of sunsets. It was like the twilight zone or something.” Both Tommy and Melinda Tattleton are in their early fifties. After having both children move off to college, their hobbies shifted from golf and bridge to Twitter, Facebook, Vine, Snapchat and Instagram.
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“When I got back from winter break all of my friends were blown away at how cool my parents’ accounts were,” Tattleton said with a tone of jealousy and despair. Ricky Brass, fraternity brother and roommate of Tattleton, commented: “Hell yeah, Mr. and Mrs. T are killin’ it on the net. They have become extremely elaborate with all of their social media. The other day they used their cats to recreate a few scenes from The Godfather on Vine. They’re pushin’ straight fire.” “They’ve become celebrities,” Tattleton explained as he shook his head in dismay, “the other day I logged onto Twitter, and saw that Kanye West re-tweeted my dad. He doesn’t even know who Yeezus is! Both of my parents even have the little blue checkmarks over their Twitter names. It’s a complete and utter travesty if you ask me. Now I can’t scroll through any form of social media without seeing an insurmountable flood of upvotes, likes, and follows towards my parents’ profiles. If it gets worse I might consider deleting my social media accounts and taking up a hobby, like reviewing bed and breakfasts or actually reading a book or something.” “Towards the end of the break they wouldn’t get off their phones. Both of my parents were completely glued to their screens. We tried to have dinner together and I couldn’t get a word out without them trying to show me some picture they Instagrammed or how many likes they had acquired that day. Mom even said, ‘I wish I could put a filter on the kitchen. It’s just so drab.” Tattleton has since turned off his phone, tablet and computer and is living the life of a recluse. Tattleton can be found exercising or staying active with his hobbies of woodworking, reading, and hiking.
10.) Black Friend Counter: You’re progressive and caused a real ruckus over the holidays with your liberal worldview. Cool. Your only regret is that you couldn’t vote for Obama in 2008. Sure, but maybe don’t count the number of black friends you have to prove how “down” you are, because nothing comes off as racist quite like listing off African Americans as collector’s items. 9.) Borat Impersonator: We all love the movie—especially when it came out eight years ago. Don’t you think it’s about time to put “Wawa wee wa” to rest? It had a good run and we appreciated that you briefly replaced it with the Bane voice from The Dark Knight Rises, real solid work there. Perhaps you could just talk like an actual person, you know? 8.) Never-Ending “Hotty Toddy” Chanter: No one has more school spirit than you and that’s rad, but there’s just no reason to constantly rep the “Hotty Toddy” every waking minute. Also, we all heard about how you “Flim Flam” and “Bim Bammed” your way through a rectal exam. Try saving some for game day, because we all know that your shouting directly leads to a Rebel victory. Please, and thank you. 7.) Ratchet White Girl: You understand that we can all see and hear you jamming to some trill-ass hip hop while twerkin’ out the window of the Range Rover your parents got you for graduation, right? Furthermore, please refrain from telling everyone that you “started form the bottom, now you’re here.” Spending your summers on the Gulf Coast is, by no means, “the bottom.” Congrats, you’ve put yourself on blast! 6.) Self-Proclaimed Busiest Student: No you’re not. In fact, in the amount of time it took for you to “vent” about Jen and Tiff, someone finished reading Ulysses, passed three students in the midst of mental breakdowns on their way out of the library, came back with a Subway cup, and then wrote an entire paper. Settle down, your 15 hours isn’t that bad. 5.) Out-Loud Reader: If you’re chillin’ back at your place, by all means, have at it. But if you’re on the second floor of J.D. Williams with a short stack of books, reading to yourself so that everyone around you can hear while you follow along with your index finger like a rabbi at synagogue, then cut it out. 4.) Southern Apologist: Your great-great grandparents passed down shitty values. Welcome to college! Leave those prejudice world views behind and get learnt. For the record, the Civil War wasn’t the “War of Northern Aggression” and was absolutely fought over the issue of slavery, not, as you put it, over “the working standards of volunteer ranch hands.” Read the secession letters if you wish, then eat more BBQ than any human should want to consume and call it a day. An awful, offensive day. 3.) Cheap Drinker: You put on a nice shirt, asked a girl out, visited one of Oxford’s more dignified bars and STILL ordered a PBR? You might as well just stay at home with a two liter of Diet Coke mixed with a handle of Burnett’s and finish off a bag of pizza rolls. Be an adult, order a craft beer, and prove that you’re not a freshman in big boy clothes drinking whatever he can get his hands on to prove his worth to upperclassmen. 2.)”Bathroom Hands” Guy: Don’t call yourself a “Southern gentleman” and neglect to wash your hands after using the bathroom. It’s the 21st century, we’re not animals. You’ve got numerous vomit-stained sinks to choose from and a sanitizer dispenser on your way out. All you have to do is wave your hand under it then rub ‘em together while it kills the bacteria from your nugget pouch. 1.) Number-One Fan: We all are, dumbass. That’s why we’re all here and not at LSU. School pride isn’t a competition, yet you assure us that if it were you’d totally win. Besides, all anyone hears when you claim to be the biggest Rebels fan is that you intend on being the craziest S.O.B. at the Grove, and are willing to spend a tuition in traveling to every away game. Finally, if you’re both the biggest fan AND the Never Ending Chanter—stay at home. Stay there where you can sit in your Ole Miss briefs and send your animals hiding every time the Rebs gain a yard.
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“Keeping Up With The Randolphs”
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“Jake Knows Best”
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THE BLACK SHEEP INTERVIEWS
THE CEREMONIES BY: BRENDAN
“We don’t tend to look at [The Ceremonies] as a band, but instead as
Do you have a sibling? Sure you do. Do you fight like two cats in a wet burlap sack? Duh. Well then, you’ll be shocked to know The Ceremonies—Matt, Michael and Mark—are brothers. In a band. And they’re all alive. That is, unless the fourth brother, Mitch, is buried somewhere. The California trio was nice enough to talk to us about their self-titled EP and upcoming tour, coming soon to a large metropolis near you.
fine art.”
The Black Sheep: How long have you three been playing music together? Matthew Cook: We began playing acoustically—not as an official band—at the start of high school. We were doing a lot of cover songs, playing for fun at local charities and gigs. We started playing officially-- as a band-- a couple of years later. TBS: Who proposed turning this into a real project? Matthew: I always had bands growing up, and my brothers Mark and Michael would fill in when we had absent band members. As they were finishing high school I was beginning college, and I had some songs written that I wanted to put together. All of a sudden it occurred to us that we had a band right in front of us, and we had never acted on it. TBS: So who decided the roles within the band? Matthew: Since I write the music, I know who is doing what from the get-go. I’ll think in my head, “Mike can do this, and Mark can do this,” but I also think about who can best do what on stage. We don’t have set parameters with who plays what. TBS: How would you describe yourself as a group? Matthew: Sonically, it’s a conglomeration of 80s Manchester new wave instrumentation and arrangement combined with a 60s traditional vocal harmonies with contemporary feel. That’s how we think of The Ceremonies sonically, but we don’t tend to look at it as a band, but instead as fine art. TBS: What do you mean it’s more fine art? Matthew: We think that the notion of a “band” is pigeonholing—that these are artists who sing and dance, it’s an act. It’s a limiting term. We’re more interested in concepts and carrying those out the best way we can. Music is our primary medium for that, but we definitely spend a lot of time painting and writing poems and making videos. The best comparison we can bring up is the Talking Heads and David Byrne. Stop Making Sense is a performance art piece. They integrate props to get your mind going. TBS: Having aspirations that just aren’t musical, how do you
deal with the business side of this? Matthew: We have control over our decisions. That’s something we really love about our labels, Atom Factory and Capitol, they let us make our decisions. For the most part we have a lot of freedom to carry out ideas as we see fit. TBS: How do you guys define success, then, as musicians? Matthew: The answer to that is changing daily. As artists we hope to affect as many people as we can. We hope to alter someone’s mindset, how to have a more open perspective and how to live more genuinely. Numbers on social media are the main medium bands have to see what their demographic is, so that’s what we look at. TBS: What was your creative approach to your self-titled EP, The Ceremonies? Matthew: The EP started with me writing a bunch of songs throughout high school and college—having these ideas in mind and maintaining this sense of childhood wonderment. I wanted to write music about finding sense of childhood within your inner adult. Then we met our producer Danny Garibay, brought him a bunch of those songs, and increased the production value. We decided which ones to put on the EP, and
put it together. TBS: You noted you’re the primary songwriter, but what does a discussion about creative decisions look like? Matthew: It’s been in the later stages. For example, with “Ballroom Bones” I had the demo recorded, and when we brought it to Danny we ended up adding a whole bunch of parts that became integral parts of the song. There’s a guitar line that became a big part of the song, and we decided on that together. Definitely there’s collaboration, but it happens later on. TBS: But how much change can happen when lyrics are a huge component to the tone of a song? Matthew: For sure, lyrics are important. For us, they’re at least 50% of the song—they hold the meaning. As an artistic collective that doesn’t want to be bound to the notion of just being a band, we hold a lot of our meaning in the song itself, which comes from the word. It’s interesting, though, a lot of people are selective listeners who listen more to the music than the words, and for those people there’s a process that has to be carried out where the atmosphere of the song has to match the lyrics. TBS: What goes into translating this live? Do you aim to have it be close to the studio as you can, or do you want it to sound like the studio? Matthew: I think there are inevitable differences between the live sound and the recording. You have a lot more creative control with recording. We’re not interested in replicating the song on the record as much as we are creating a new experience live. It’s like, every time you read a book, you read it differently. It’s the same book you’re reading, but you paint different imagery in your mind. A song doesn’t have to be all new, but we like to pitch it in a new way. TBS: What’s your stage show like? Matthew: We’re going out on our second tour—this time with Glasvegas—from February to March. It’s not so much us trying to impress the audience as much as it is letting yourself get lost in the music. If you can do that, then the audience will feel like it’s musical theater or something—if you’re into it, the audience will feel it as well. TBS: Then what makes a good show or a bad show? Matthew: I guess just audience reaction. We’re really interested and committed to this idea of performing full-out. I’d rather sing a high note and have my voice crack than be too timid to go for the high note. We’re going for genuine emotion.
WHEREVER YOU NEED TO GO,
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BARTENDER of the WEEK Relationship Status: Single Major: Nutrition Favorite Drink: Budweiser Favorite Shot: Fireball Disgusting Drink: Redd’s Apple Ale What subculture are you secretly infatuated with?: Hipsters Invent a holiday: Michael Jackson Day
STEPHANIE of The Blind Pig
DRINKING GAME Word Calisthenics Words are what make this world, even when they’re slurred. Without them, a hammer would literally not be a hammer, it’d be a…it’d be something else. Work on your wordplay, with beer! What You’ll Need: Beer, a creative mind. NO ACCOUNTING MAJORS ALLOWED. Number of Players: 2 Level of Intoxication: You’ll go from being a wordsmith to blowing them up into wordsmithereens. How to Play: -Begin by having one player say a 3-letter word. For example, “cat.” -The other player must then name another 3-letter word that begins with the last letter of the previous word. For example, “cat” becomes “tap.” -If a player names a word that both begins and ends with the last letter of the previous word, then the word expands by 1 letter. For example, if “cat” becomes “tot,” then the next word must be 4 letters long and begin with “t.” -This continues until one player cannot name a word of the appropriate length. -No shortened words (“tat” for “tattoo,” for example), abbreviations or proper nouns are allowed. -Words cannot be repeated. -Drink each time a player expands a word by a letter. -Drink each time someone tries to use a word that has already been said. -Drink each time a vulgarity is used. The Game Ends When: The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. Duh.
Why do birds fall in love?: To fly away.
Vaguely threaten your worst enemy.: #putdown What element on the periodic table best describes you, and why?: Helium, because it’s the tallest. What’s the last lie you told?: I had to work instead of going on family vacation. Are you always this insufferable?: Yes Why should people read The Black Sheep?: I once got proposed to in The Black Sheep.
RECIPE for DISASTER Deep Fried Oreos It’s a few weeks into the new year, and you know damn well that this means that “get fit” resolution is knee-deep in assorted chocolates and sweets that your grandma purposely gave you just to totally screw you over. Luckily, deep frying is always the best answer for shameful weight frustration. What You’ll Need: A bag of Oreos, 2 cups of biscuit mix, 2 eggs, 1.5 cups of milk (whole milk, don’t be a pussy), 3 teaspoons of oil, and enough vegetable oil to deep fry a small animal. Cook Time: About 10 minutes Fatty Factor: See: “deep fried.” Let’s Get Baked: - Mash up that biscuit mix with the eggs, milk, and the 3 teaspoons of oil until it’s as smooth as your roommate’s reaction after walking in on him “exploring” himself. - Preheat your deep fryer/pan to about 375° Fahrenheit, or Celsius if you’re feeling a little adventurous.* - Put the Oreos in the batter and soak those suckers up until you can smell the impending dissatisfaction. - Carefully toss the Oreos into the deep fryer/pan. - Once the Oreos are brown on one side, flip them over so the other side gets some action. - Scoop out the Oreos once they’re fried/burnt to your liking and let them cool/drain on a paper towel before shovin’ them in your mouth. It’s probably best to prep this one before you go out for the night. The Black Sheep has only played with a deep fryer once, and that’s all we can really say legally. *Seriously, don’t do that. We think your face looks better when it doesn’t have searing, explosive grease all over it.
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the crossword famous ash(ley)s ACROSS: 3) What is Ashton Kutcher’s real first name? 5) Ashley was the most popular girl’s name in the early 90s, but was eventually topped by this name. 6) The only dating service that promotes affairs, Ashley what? 7) The day of the week occuring 46 days before Easter, two words. 9) Ash Ketchum is the protagonist in what video game? 11) If you skin is dry, you say it’s what? 13) Ash tree’s scientific name. 16) The lip-syncing sister of Jessica Simpson. DOWN: 1) Ashley Country is one of many dry counties in this state. 2) Ashley Parker Angel was a member of this 2000s manufactured boy band. 4) ASH is the American Society of
what? 5) The sister’s Ashley, Naomi and Wynonna. 8) Ashley Greene’s Cullen name is the Twilight saga. 10) Not Ashley Olsen, the other one. 12) Ashley Furniture is headquartered in this state. 12) Who plays Ashley Schaeffer on Eastbound & Down? 14) Ashley Tisdale’s character in High School Musical. 15) The Emerald ash borer is what kind of insect?
ALL WEEK LONG
THE LEVEE HAS YOU COVERED
MONDAY:
$2 PITCHERS AND $0.25 WINGS
TUESDAY: HAPPY HOUR: $10 BURGER AND BOTTOMLESS BEER NIGHT: $3 LEVEE LEMONADE $3 MARGARITAS $3 SLAMMERS/ LEMON DROPS
WELFARE WEDNESDAY: ady GetJROeIN fUoSrFBOiRg l ts Al ! EEvWen E N SpYriAnRg’S!
$1 ANY DRAFT BEER, $2 WELLS 8-10PM
THURSDAY:
POWER HOUR 9-10PM $1 PBR AND KEYSTONE, $1 SHOOTERS
132 COURTHOUSE SQUARE | (662) 513-0588
WEEKLY SPECIALS
NOW SERVING!
BACK ALLEY BBQ Back
Ribs – P
To-Go Orders W
MONDAY
– Appetize r
s
Smoked BBQ Nachos
$3 Wells until 10:30 p.m.
House fried tortilla chips smothered wit h your pulled pork or smo ked chicken,cheese sauce, an BBQ sauce. $9.00 jalapenos add $.50
TUESDAY
Sausage and Cheese
Smoked sausage wit h cheddar and pepper jack c spears, and jalapen os. $9.00
Bacon Cheese Fries
$2 Wine
Basket of tasty frie
Rebel Nachos
s topped with cheese
and bac
House fried tortilla chips topped with a creamy sa cheese dip. $9.00
WEDNESDAY
Mozzarella Sticks
Battered mozzarell a deep fried served with spicy r dipping sauce. 8.00
$1 PBR and Keystone
– Sandwic he
Regular / Jumbo BBQ
Served with fries.
s –
1/4 # of Hickory smo ked pulled pork wit h slaw / 1/2 # Hickory smoked pul led pork with slaw. 8.00 / 9.00
THURSDAY
Beef Brisket
1008 JACKSON AVE E OXFORD, MISSISSIPPI
Our beef brisket, sea soned and smoked for hours fo smoky flavor and cho pped served on tex as toast. 9.00 Burger
2 for 1 Wells until 10:30 p.m.
Eight ounces of bee f, pickle, onions, lett uce, and tom mustard and mayo on a ciabatta bun. $8.0 0
Bacon Cheese Burger
Eight ounces of bee f, cheddar or pepper jack cheese, a slices of bacon on a ciabatta bun. $9.50
The Don Vito
Chicken breast sautee d with onions and tom atoes in a w wine sauce, provolone cheese, and ranch dre ssing served ciabatta bun. $9.50
The Swog Style Pork