The Black Sheep FR
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• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
Volume 3, Issue 2 9/13/12 -9/19/12
theblacksheeponline.com @blacksheep_om
Wearing In an Autumn Wonderland Ryanne Flanders wrote this
This week marks the first time since April that the temperature outside hasn’t made Satan sweat. Hopefully, this means Autumn has turned, signaling a seasonal change in the Ole Miss dress code. Though some will simply add long pants or leggings, the far more dedicated are now fully entrenched in new wardrobe season. Fall marks boot season for girls. If you can mosey to and fro without a seeing-eye dog and have walked around campus with a post-summer smile then you know how much Ole Miss’ fairer sex loves riding boots. Seriously, it’s the only leather addiction that’s safe for these girls to sport outside of the bedroom. There are black boots, brown boots, heeled boots, flat boots. It doesn’t matter. Ladies love them. What a woman wears with the boots differs, however. Some girls make a lateral move, replacing the Nike shorts with the fall equivalent: leggings. Fearing they look completely tacky, many replace the uniform-issue oversized tank with a real shirt. Like, one with sleeves and everything. The more fashion-forward, simply throw on an oversized cardigan. We’re not sure how this really works for warmth, but whatever gets a girl noticed. The downside to the transition to fall fashion is some girls don’t know the art of wearing leggings. Alerting all women: Your shirt should cover your cooka, tramp. NO ONE WANTS TO SEE JIGGLY BUTT CHEEKS. If the top of the day doesn’t come close to covering your ladybits, please avoid donning this part of the uniform. Everyone - lonely hornballs excluded - will thank you. As the leaves change the Ole Miss men’s uniform doesn’t. All dudes need to do is replace the khaki shorts and t-shirt with the longer version of the same clothing item. It just needs to look “worn.” The older the shirt, the more dap the campus community will give you, bro. Now, both genders lack freedom when it comes to jackets. Both need something sporting a Columbia, Patagonia, or North Face logo, no exceptions. We all like to pretend labels don’t matter, but if you don’t want to stand out, stock up. Honestly, the brand names are more comfortable anyway. We’re not promoting the lack of individuality, but these college staple uniforms exist for a reason; they’re easy, effective, and comfortable. And who cares how
Confessions of a Campus House Pet
So this is why they shit on your carpet.
page 5
expensive these poofy purchases are when they’re only one Amazon visit and daddy’s emergency credit card expenditure away? Women also have the option of wearing some oversized sweatshirt with Ole Miss-related sayings tattooed across the fabric. Just don’t be surprised when a stranger acknowledged you as Deanna when you’re obviously a Kathy. Why? Because everyone looks the same in these things. Especially with black leggings, riding boots, and North Face backpacks. What? You didn’t get the memo about required wearing?
what’s inside
Top Ten: Best Things to Steal From parties
because cds are going to worth a lot one day.
page 5
Finally, freshwomen, please don’t take this as an opportunity to wear every winter fashion you’ve been dreaming about since mom and dad pulled away in their Caravan. There’s no need to walk around in a Kanye-style fur coat. High-heeled, knee-high stripper boots are also extremely unnecessary, especially on men. No, really. It’s not that bad. Everyone doesn’t look the same, just most. Accept it. You can either join in or follow the school’s namesake and rebel. However, if the NCAA has taught us anything, rebelling gets one nowhere, and conformity is key, so you’ll almost certainly dress appropriately for the seasons. Hey, all the other cool kids are doing it.
bartender of the week Scott from The Cellar prefers boxers, but really prefers no pants.
page 8
contents page 4: not buying it
Questions? Comments? Compliments? Insults? info@theblacksheeponline.com
page 4
what if advertisements actually told the truth.
page 8: drinking game: categories
it's fun and it's easy, just how you like 'em.
Table of
page 8: Recipe for Disaster: Nutter Butter French Toast
We combine two good things to make one very awesome thing.
page 9: from the streets
What's your least favorite SEC team?
page 11: the black sheep itnerviews
Noelle Scaggs from Fitz & The Tantrums
page 11
$6 WEEK DAY SPECIALS! ALL SPECIALS SERVED WITH CHIPS OR FRIES
MONDAY
THURSDAY
TUESDAY
1/2 lb. Footlong Chili Cheese Dog
WEDNESDAY
The Don Vito - Seared Chicken, Sauteed
Philly Cheese Steak Sandwich Fried or Seared Chicken Sandwich Jumbo BBQ Sandwich
Hambuger
FRIDAY
SATURDAY
w/ Onions and Tomatoes in White Wine
AND DON’T FORGET THISTO! NES
KEYS WEDNESDAY NIGHT $1 PBRs & INKS THURSDAY NIGHT 2 FOR 1 DR
132 COURTHOUSE SQUARE | (662) 513-0588
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A Safari Grove
Do you know who these hotties are? Send your answers to anagrams@theblacksheeponline.com First five right answers get a prize!
Each Honk Trust last week’s answers
Amber Heard & Taylor Kitsch
Taking beer goggles to the next level... (Want to be humiliated next week? Awesome.) Send us your pic of the week at pics@theblacksheeponline.com
word of the week Spinsturd:
A piece of poop that wraps all the way around the bowl of a toilet.
“Hey Jeff, come look at this spinsturd I dropped after eating all that cheese!”
As long as the entertainment industry ignores the internet and continues to pour money into cable television, we will continue to be bombarded by mind-numbing commercials. Take some smiling middle-class twenty-somethings with nice jobs and cool clothes, inject a few minorities, and voila, you’ve got yourself a commercial. Despite being material girls in this material world, The Black Sheep wondered what would happen if advertising execs stepped out of their money caves and into the real world. What would these commercials look like if their commercials just dropped the pretence and said what the company was really trying to convey? By: Quinn and Brendan
5-Hour Energy
Miller Lite
Hey dude! Yeah you, sitting alone on the couch! Look at us bros on the TV, drinkin’ Miller Lites and razzin’ each other like dudes do. Look at all the hot girls around us! Look at how hot that bartender is! Why are you sitting alone, drinking water and watching football like a pansy? Who does that? No one here does that! Join us, crack open a cold Miller brew and you’ll never look back. You’ll be at a tailgate or a not-decrepit sports bar with your pals! Don’t have any pals? You will if you drink Miller Lite! But if you’re thinking about drinking anything else besides a Miller Lite you can see yourself through the God dammed door. Go ahead, order whatever is on special, and watch as your new hot friends and bartenders call you out for being such a pussy. Drinking anything else is unmanly, you might as well push your penis up inside yourself and wear lipstick.
Got that been-drinking-for-3-daysstraight feeling and it’s only Friday? Second day of frothy acidic coffee shits? Too pussy to reach out to an acquaintance for Adderall? Try 5-Hour Energy. It might trick you into thinking it’s working.
You are a man, aren’t you? Men have beards, watch football and have sex on women that resemble Grecian goddesses. They don’t, above all else, drink “whatever.” You might as well be some sort of tight jean-wearin’, soccer watchin’, he-she who doesn’t know what good beer tastes like. Our beer is good, and that’s why we’ve invented bottles and cans that funnel it down your throat as fast as possible.
Listen, you’re a hard-working person who doesn’t have time to make coffee. While your co-workers sit in the dark pit that is their cubicle, drinking latte after latte and thinking about hanging themselves in the shower later, you’re chock-full of B-Vitamins and Guarana – it’s basically gasoline for humans! Drink a 5-Hour energy every morning and you won’t not be not having sex and running on treadmills before dawn! DAWN! You don’t need to nurse your hangover with “food” or “sleep,” 5-Hour Energy has everything your body needs in a 1.93 oz package! Plus, you won’t crash!*
AXE Body Spray
Taco Bell
Sitting alone in a corner? Does the scent of self-loathing seep through your pores? Feeling like you’re slowly slipping away from the world because you exist on a different plane of being?
Hello there, our very stoned friend. Sure, you could change the channel, but that remote is literally three feet away, and after that fourth bong rip we both know you’re not lifting a finger.
Well, it’s because you’re not getting enough of that sweet, sweet pussy.
Instead, we’re going to show you some images of delicious, low-rent Tex-Mex food. Yeah, look at the way we drape that velvety cheese-flavored wax blend all over finely-ground possum assholes. Right now you’re wishing you could fire that gooey goodness into a spoon and inject it straight into your cholesterolladen bloodstream. Oh, but we’re not done yet. After that we’re going full-on H.A.M., wrapping that bitch up in flour tortilla, smothering that thing in cheese, then wrapping another deep-fried corn tortilla around that diarrhea missile. Sure, you’re going to shit your pants later, but that just means you can shove some more Type-2 Diabetes down your gullet.
So listen up loser, you need some Axe Dark Temptation Body Spray before you put that Glock to your temple and double tap your way to the big Poon Tang Palace in the sky. The problem isn’t your general disgust towards mainstream music, movies, television shows and books. It’s not your obsession with Minecraft. It isn’t your greasy, unwashed hair, or your chain wallet, or the black jean short and Queensryche t-shirt combo you sport in the middle of December. Nope, you’re not fist-deep in freshman snatch right now because you don’t smell like a dumpster behind a strip club. You need to get in the car right now and
head to your nearest department store. Park in a handicap spot, because if we’re being realistic, you’re afflicted with a mean case of Vagophilia Hustle down to men’s health products and just grab the first can you see. Spray that shit all over your body. Just…just empty that bitch out. If you think you’ve sprayed enough, you haven’t. Alright slithound, now it’s time for you to get all up on the bitches. You see, we lace our shit with chemicals that draw them sluts towards you. Pheromones or hormones or something. What Einstein, does it look like we went to college? Either way, you’ll have some whores moaning all up on you when you’re Axin’ and relaxin’.
“But I’m way too high to drive, and it’s almost 10:30p.m.,” you foolishly mumble
So get to the store and grab yourself a case. Stock your cabinets with 5-Hour Energy, people won’t think you’re a psychopath, they’ll think your smart and awesome! Are you a boring old office worker? You should drink 5-hour energy! Are you a boring old construction worker? You should drink 5-Hour Energy! Are you an inmate snowman? 5-Hour Energy! *In you won’t crash the airplane you’re not flying. An emotional crash, however, is guaranteed. Imminently.
to yourself. Hah! Don’t you know we’re open later than shit? We invented the fourth meal to eliminate the anguish degenerates like you feel when you’re mouthhumping your food hole mere minutes before you pass out from exhaustion after a long day of self-loathing and jacking off. So yeah, we’ll wait a few hours for you to hop in your 1997 Chevy Lumina and haul your “sober enough to drive” ass down to the nearest Taco Bell. And don’t forget to pick up some Baja Blast when you swing through, that shit is legit.
The Top 10
the black sheep mobile | for iphone & android
page 7
best things to steal from parties You head in to a party, hand over $5 for a cup, and drink out of their quickly-disappearing, lukewarm keg. You’re not getting much bang for your buck, so snagging yourself a little gift on the way out makes it all a bit more worth it. 10. Cups and Shot Glasses: Point blank: You can never have enough. Stealing these is basically just a shadier way of saying, “Thank you for supplying my party next weekend, you will not be invited.” 9. Toilet Paper: As a chick, there’s nothing worse than stopping to pee on the way home and having to squat against the side of a building. It’s even more fun when there’s nothing to wipe with, and then you feel all wet and hobo-y for the rest of the night. Stealing a roll is convenient, and no one will really give a shit if you do it.
Confessions of a Campus House Pet kitty kat wrote this
I’ve always been your typical fat cat who enjoys naps near an open window and tossing my felt mouse from paw to paw. I’m not one for snuggling or purring against the ear. I’m a lush for catnip and a good roll in kitty litter, but other than that, I’m not the friendliest pussy around. Regardless, my owner Hillary hasn’t gone one day without planting a sickening kiss on top of my head or hugging me into oblivion before bed. That’s why I almost gagged on a hair ball the day that she brought me off to college with her for her sophomore year.
8. Random Knick Knacks: The stranger the stolen item in your pocket, the better the conversation starter it is. Head in to a party with plans to walk away with the oddest piece you can get your hands on. Look for bobble heads, Nintendo 64 controllers, artsy coffee mugs, or massage oils. Bring it out to the bar and see how many numbers it helps you get. 7. Clothes: Girls and heels, boys and hats; they usually get ditched within the first five minutes. And everyone makes the mistake at one point of bringing a North Face to a party and “hiding” it behind the couch. Keep an eye out for this stuff and expand your wardrobe in just one night! 6. Money: It’s unoriginal and basically a felony, like embezzlement. But really, it’s boring and makes you the scum of the earth. If you sink to this, just donate it to a local charity or pass it off to a bum in The Square. You’re both going to spend it on booze, but they don’t have a mommy supporting their habit. 5. Lawn Chairs: Not only are these things beyond easy to casually grab and walk away with, they’re also totally practical. Who isn’t going to want to sit down at some point in their life? Having more chairs on hand in your apartment means you can finally go out and make some more friends, what with all of that seating room.
Between her homework and part-time job at The Levee, she barely had time to keep my milk bowl full. Bitch. So I was surprised when she brought somebody new home: an ugly, furry bunny. That hideous thing had beady, red eyes, and it couldn’t aim its piss to save its life. One day I was lounging and watching a stoned Hillary force-feed that fuzzy asshole some crisp baby carrots. Within seconds, it started choking until it eventually flopped over and remained motionless. Hillary looked sad for a few minutes, but then scooped up the body, tossed it in an empty plastic bag, and brought it out to the dumpster. A few days later Hillary bought a squirrely little hamster. It lasted for a week or so until one night when Hillary came home from the bars with a half empty beer bottle. She didn’t know it, but I saw exactly what that sneaky girl did. With an evil glint in her eye, she emptied the remains of the bottle right into the hamster’s dish and coaxed him to take a drink. After a few minutes, the pathetic thing swayed right to left and collapsed. This time there was no mourning; Hillary picked it up barehanded and tossed it in the trash. I started to grow concerned. Were these just careless accidents or something more? Was an intoxicated college student really capable of taking care of another being, when she really couldn’t take care of herself? I found myself growing restless and anxious when I was alone in the apartment with her. I flinched at any noise I heard, and flickers of light across the wall sent me flying. Just the sight of Hillary caused my fur to rise. Was she coming for me next? Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, Hillary brought home a puppy. Normally I hate those damn yappy things, but I felt bad because I knew what was coming. Hillary hosted a party, and the place was wall-to-wall with people. The dog was annoying, humping random legs and licking people’s toes. Hillary shut him up in the bedroom with me and threw a plastic cup at him for a toy. Within minutes the dog had ripped it apart and swallowed every last inch of plastic. A few gags, a whimper, then nothing. I sat frozen on the bed, terrified. Later, when Hillary found his body, she just kicked it out of the way, under her bed. After Hillary passed out I snuck under the bed to give the puppy a proper burial. The puppy was still alive, but was bleeding profusely from his mouth and anus caused by internal lacerations from the jagged pieces of Solo cup. I asked him if he had trouble breathing because of the blood coming from his mouth. He said he wasn’t actually bleeding from the mouth, but had earlier attempted to eat his anus blood, mistaking it for runny diarrhea. At this point I remembered why I hated dogs so much. However, what he said next will remain with me until the day I die. He said, “I just don’t understand why college students buy animals that they are only going to neglect. Don’t they realize that they are assholes? Total assholes?” and then closed his eyes.
4. CDs/DVDs/iPod: Selling these on the black market is a quick way to make some money without prostituting yourself, but that whole gig is overplayed. Christmas is in a couple months, and between now and then you’re bound to have some birthdays sprinkled in there. Stock up on some copies of the latest Now That’s What I Call Music! CDs, because that’s a gift that anyone would love, right? 3. Food: Instead of heading to Jimmy John’s on the way home for a $7 sandwich, save yourself some money tonight. It’ll be a little difficult to do at a frat, but if you find yourself at an apartment rager, it’ll be pretty simple to pop open a cabinet and snag a bag of chips without anyone noticing. “It’s cool bro, I live here.” 2. Alcohol: Rolling a keg out of a senior house it too obvious, and free beer during rush is too easy. Find yourself a chubby girl and have her help you smuggle a handle out under her shirt. From this point you have two options: Finish it off by yourselves or find a druggie in a bar’s back alley and try to trade it in for some drugs. The second choice might involve sexual favors as well, but that’s the whole point of college. 1. Someone’s Virginity: Ah, the only theft that actually comes with a bonus gift: offspring!
black sheep staff wrote this
BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS WANT MORE Download our MOBILE APP! DOWNLOAD FOR iPHONE
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The Bar Grid SPECIAL NIGHT
MONDAY! Wingday Monday! $0.25 Wings, $1 Pabst Blue Ribbon Pints, $4 PBR Pitchers DJ Downstairs @ 9 in The Piano Bar
THURSDAY - SATURDAY $1 PBR and Keystone Free Power Tower on Birthdays!
MONDAY - SATURDAY $6 Meals Served with Chips or Fries!
THURS, 9/13
Wingday Thursday! $0.25 cent wings, $1 Pabst Blue Ribbon Pints, $4 PBR Pitchers Karaoke Downstairs in the Piano Bar at 9
$1 PBR and Keystone
$6 Hamburger (w/ Chips or Fries) 2 for 1 Drinks
FRI, 9/14
$2 “Pre Game Shots” from 8-10 Dueling Pianos downstairs in the Piano Bar at 9 Get Some Tamales! 5.99 for 1/2 dozen, 12 for $10.99
$1 PBR and Keystone
$6 1/2 lb. Footlong Chili Cheese Dog (w/ Chips or Fries)
SAT, 9/15
Open @ Noon! All Burgers Half Price Until 4 2 for 1 Margaritas until 7 $3 “Rebelution” drinks from 8-10 Dueling Pianos Downstairs in the piano bar at 9
$1 PBR and Keystone
$6 Don Vito - Seared Chicken, Sauteed w/ Onions and Tomatoes in White Wine (w/ Chips or Fries)
SUN, 9/16
Open at Noon - 9 on Home Football Weekend $4 Fireball Shots All Day Long!
$1 PBR and Keystone (Only Open on Home Game Weekends)
Check out our great food specials all week long!
MON, 9/17
Wingday Monday! $0.25 Wings, $1 Pabst Blue Ribbon Pints, $4 PBR Pitchers DJ Downstairs @ 9 in The Piano Bar
$4 Car Bombs
$6 Philly Cheese Steak Sandwich (w/ Chips or Fries)
TUES, 9/18
Taco Tuesday! Blackened Mahi, Fried Shrimp, Beef and Cheese, and Veggie Tacos only $1 each $2 Wells and Domestic Beers
2 for 1 Wells
$6 Fries or Seared Chicken Sandwich (w/ Chips or Fries)
WED, 9/19
Happy hour Until 7 After 7: Drink specials change every 30 minutes on the Specials Wheel! Signature Burgers are Half Price until 10
$3 Shots Pool League @ 8pm
$6 Jumbo BBQ Sandwich (w/ Chips or Fries) $1 PBR & Keystone
now hiring!
Why wouldn't you want to work somewhere with unlimited koozies and a "pants are optional" policy?
Marketing, Sales, Promotions, Writing, Groupies, & More!
apply online at theblacksheeponline.com Mon - Sat: Happy Hour 4-7 $1 Off Everything AND $1 PBR, Busch, Highlife
Everyday Sunday and Wednesday: Flip Night! Call it right, the drinks are on us!
TUESDAYS: $10 Burgers and Bottomless Beer LADIES NIGHT! 2 for 1 Wells 2 for 1 Shooters (slammers, lemon drops) Beer Pong League
SPECIAL NIGHT
Happy Hour 4-7 $1 Off Everything AND $1 PBR, Busch, Highlife
$1 Shot Night 2 for 1 on Everything until 9pm Penny Pitchers 9-10pm
Power Hour (9-10): $1 PBR & Keystone $1 shots, $2 Coors Tall boys DJ Gordo
THURS, 9/13
Happy Hour 4-7 $1 Off Everything AND $1 PBR, Busch, Highlife
2 for 1 on Everything until 9pm Penny Pitchers 9-10pm
$1 PBR and Keystone DJ Wade
FRI, 9/14
Happy Hour 4-7 $1 Off Everything AND $1 PBR, Busch, Highlife
2 for 1 on Everything until 9pm Penny Pitchers 9-10pm
Cornhole Tournament for a free bar tab!
SAT, 9/15
Check out southdepottacoshop.com!
Flip Sunday: Call it right, the drinks are on us!
Only Open on Sunday Game Days!
SUN, 9/16
2 for 1 Frozen Margaritas Happy Hour 4-7 $1 Off Everything AND $1 PBR, Busch, Highlife
$10 Pitcher of Beer and 18 wings 2 for 1 domestics
$2 Pitchers and $0.25 Wings
MON, 9/17
2 for 1 Domestics Happy Hour 4-7 $1 Off Everything AND $1 PBR, Busch, Highlife
Beer and Shot Night Buy a Beer, Get a Free Shot
$10 Burgers and Bottomless Beer LADIES NIGHT! 2 for 1 Wells 2 for 1 Shooters (slammers, lemon drops) Beer Pong League
TUES, 9/18
2 for 1 Wells Happy Hour 4-7 $1 Off Everything AND $1 PBR, Busch, Highlife
Flip Wednesday: Call it right, the drinks are on us!
Whiskey Wing Day! FREE Wings and $3 Whiskey Drinks
WED, 9/19
DOWNLOAD OUR APP AND GET THESE SPECIALS ON YOUR PHONE! MORE BARS COMING EVERY WEEK!
The Bar Grid
page 8
theblacksheeponline.com
bartender of the week Scott G. the cellar Relationship status: Single
Boxers or Briefs?: Boxers for sure.
Major: Business Favorite drink: Makers Mark and Coke
How many four year olds do you think you can take in a fight?: 23, unless they are fat. Then only 11.5.
Favorite shot: Jager Bomb Worst drink ever: Vodka and Sprite Least Favorite Singer: Miley Cyrus What celebrity would you most like to punch in the face?: Dan Mullen What celebrity do you most want to hook up with?: Erin Andrews What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen on the job?: A guy put a cigarette out on his nipple. What dead person would you most want to bring back to life?: Marilyn Monroe
the drinking game
Categories
If you could create a holiday what would it be?: National No Pants Day
If you could have one super power what would it be?: X-ray vision What is your favorite domestic beer?: Miller Lite Do you prefer blondes or brunettes?: Blondes Are you a tits or butt man?: Butt most definitely, but you can’t resist a good rack. Ford or Chevy?: Chevy, Fords blow.
Recipe for Disaster
Nutter Butter French Toast
Forgive us, loyal boozers, for we have sinned. We’ve been so preoccupied with partying hard that we forgot about the pleasures of just casually drinking among friends. Do your liver a favor and try this one out.
Have you ever bit into a Nutter Butter and thought, “Wow, it doesn’t get any better than this!”? Well think again, because we’re taking your favorite buttery nuts to the next level.
What You’ll Need: Beer and beer only. Number of Players: Four or more. Level of Intoxication: You’ll get a great buzz going, so even if your alcoholic self wants to go hard, this is a good way to pregame.
What You’ll Need: Bread, bananas, peanut butter, and butter. Cook Time: As long as it takes your ex to bust a nut, so like, 10 minutes. Fatty Factor: It’ll give you a little chub, that’s for sure!
How to Play: - Grab some beers and sit around a table. - Choose a broad category, like U.S. states, colors, Adam Sandler movies, etc. - Going around the circle, each player must say a word that falls under the chosen category. For example, if “Adam Sandler movies” is the category, possible answers would be Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison. - If a player can’t think of an answer, they must drink their beer for five seconds. - If a player repeats an answer that was already said, the player must take a sip of beer along with the person who originally said the answer. - Once someone messes up, switch to a new category. The Game Ends When: The beer runs out, and everyone just wants to call it a night. We’re tired from being so glamorous, give us a break, uggo.
download our app for all of our drinking games!
Let’s Get Baked: - Beat eggs in a bowl. - Spread one tablespoon of peanut butter on top of each slice of bread. - Cut up your banana and spread the pieces across your peanut-buttered bread. - Put the pieces of bread together, making a peanut butter and banana sandwich. - Melt butter into a frying pan. - Dip your sandwich into the beaten eggs. - Place the sandwich on the heated pan and cook until both sides are brown. If you’re really trying to indulge, grab your two main squeezes, Aunt Jemima and Betty Crocker, and smother syrup and chocolate all over this delicacy.
Hungry for More? theblacksheeponline.com
From the Streets
[PartyPics]
Got a question you want us to ask? FTS@theblacksheeponline.com
Which is your least favorite SEC team? “I really don’t like Texas A&M.” - Wes E.
“LSU sucks.” - Connor C.
“Mississippi State is the worst.” - Thomas H.
send your party pics to pics@theblacksheeponline.com
(View and Send Pics from our iPhone & Android App! Search black sheep mobile)
the photo hunt
can you find all 10 differences in this lecture hall? email us at puzzle@theblacksheeponline.com with the locations or a picture of your findings and win a prize!
the interview
fitz & the tantrums
Noelle Scaggs, lead female vocalist for the indie soul band Fitz & The Tanturms, may be technically considered a “tantrum” in the band, but her powerhouse voice makes her the feistiest of them all. We had the chance to chat with the singer about performing love songs, being the only chick in a gaggle of guys, and, of course Ryan Gosling. Check out their hit album, Pickin’ up the Pieces while you wait for their newest album in 2013. By: Jess Sommers The Black Sheep: How did you get to know Michael Fitzpatrick, and how did Fitz & The Tantrums get started? Noelle Scaggs: Michael had been going through a really bad break-up and he wrote the song “Breakin’ the Chains of Love,” which was kind of his first song he had written with this Motown style. He called up John Wicks, a mutual friend of ours and our current drummer , to help develop more of these types of songs, which turned into our first EP, Songs for a Breakup, Vol. 1. So I went to the rehearsal studio and the first rehearsal we all just really jelled, mine and Michael’s voice jelled really well together. It felt like we had been performing for a long time. The beginning stages were really cool because it was a rare happening, you know, finding musicians who can really play and you have this moment of knowing this works. You’re not really sure where it’s going to go, but it really worked out. And everything with the band kept falling into place. We just kept getting offered gigs , and then came people who wanted to manage us. We had been together for six months before we go an offer for our first tour, with Hepcat and Flogging Molly, then came touring with Maroon 5. It was really special . TBS: A lot of your songs have to do with love and heartbreak. Tell me a little bit about the songwriting process. Noelle: On the new record we’ll all just get together and kind of jam out. The guys will send a track and Michael and I will build from them; I’ll create the lyrics and sometimes I’ll do the melody, or we’ll go back and forth. It’s just a melting pot of ideas that happen. I’ll write some stuff at my house and send it to Michael, he’ll vibe off of it and decide if he likes it or not, and vice versa. It’s a very collaborative effort. With Picking up the Pieces, because of the situation of Michael coming out of love, the entire story of that record was about breaking up and trying to get through that process. When I came to the table and brought that female dynamic, it became the two sides of the tale instead of just being about the male heartbreak. You get that female side as well which really dominates on stage. [Michael and I] have a really cool dynamic. TBS: So how do you like being the only girl in a group of guys? Noelle: I’ve been doing this for a long time and I’m used to being the only woman in a lot of bands. In my former band I was the only woman as well, and I was the front woman, so I’ve gotten used to it. You do have those times where you miss having a woman around. Thankfully, one of our managers is a woman and she comes on tour with us, so it gives me a nice break from being around all the guys all the time. But these guys are really amazing people, they’re really mature, it’s not like I’m touring with a bunch of teenagers who don’t really understand the business. We’re all good friends, we all respect each other, and, for that, it’s really cool. They’re very sensitive to me being the princess of the group. TBS: You personally have collaborated with a ton of different kinds of artists. Who are some of your favorites? Noelle: I really enjoyed working with will.i.am. He’s a really interesting character in the studio in that he just lets you go, he lets you flow, and the minute that he hears something good he’s like, “I want you do that.” He’s always been this really cool person to just jam out with and try to develop ideas and not really think about what’s going to happen. You just try things and have fun with it. I’ve always really enjoyed that about him in the studio, like I could just be playing around with something and he’d be like, “Go do that!” TBS: What are some things you always have around when you’re getting ready for a show? Noelle: Slippery Elm, it’s basically a root that comes in capsules that Michael and I drink in a tea, especially during cold season. I always, always, always have my watch. I don’t really like having my phone on me constantly, and that’s the reason why I bought the watch, so I know how much time we have before we go on stage. TBS: If you were stuck in an elevator for 24-hours, what one person would you ideally like to be stuck with? Noelle: From the music stand point, Thom Yorke. Also, maybe Ryan Gosling. I wouldn’t mind being locked up in an elevator with him, that’d be cool.
the big three
entertainment-y things we’re all excited about.
Band of Horses - mirage rock out september 18 Indie-rock darlings Band of Horses are back with their fourth studio album, Mirage Rock. These sleepy Seattle natives have undergone several changes in the past few years, while always keeping their signature style of pseudo-bluegrass tunes mixed in with catchy pop and rock beats. Check out their new tracks, "Dumpster World" and "Knock Knock."
liberal arts - in theaters out september 14 Cute, bearded, single, unemployed, and 35, Jesse Fisher (Josh Radnor, from How I Met Your Mother fame) gets asked to speak at his favorite college professor's retirement party. While back on campus he, naturally, falls for a cute, precocious sophomore Zibby (Elizabeth Olsen) and awkward love ensues. Cue the cute emotional cuteness!!! SNooki & jwoww - Season finale thursday, september 13 @ 10 p.m. Curious to find out how the summer of Snooki and JWOWW will end? Well if you've looked at any magazine covers or been on the internet at all, you probably know. But what you won't know are all the ridiculous and entertaining intricacies of the two guidettes that only a supremely edited show will give you. And let's all applaud for a season 2, in production now!
the classtime
Mansion. Apartment. Shack. House.
Best Man: • Bob Barker • Bob Costas • Bob Ross • Bob Marley
Wedding Entertainment: • Synchronized Swimmers • Soulja Boy • Salsa-Making Instructors • Sammi Sweetheart
Unfortunate Incident: • Parasailing Accident • Poop’s Oneself • Pregnancy • Painkiller Addiction
Maid of Honor: • Heidi Montag • Heidi Klum • Heidi Fleiss • Hawt Heidi, the local stripper
Honeymoon Destination: • Falluja, Iraq • Fat Camp • Fort Wayne, IN • Fantasty Factory
Career Path: • Meth Cook • Marriage Counselor • Master Gardener • Maid
Wedding Caterer: • Chick-fil-a • Church’s Chicken • Chili’s • Crock Pot Potluck
mode of transportation: • Jetski • Jet Boat • Just Walkin’ • Jalopy circa ‘91
Claim to Fame: • Found Alien Life • Famous Zucchini Bread • Fruit Basket Tattoo • Flimsy Arms
some dots on the page until a friend (or your brain) tells you to stop. Starting with M.A.S.H., go around the board crossing off whatever How to play Doodle option corresponds with your number. Go around the board until only one of each category is left. That, my friend, is your future. Enjoy it.
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