Volume 4
The Black Sheep
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The College Newspaper That's Actually About College
Issue 4
PURDUE SHACKERS:
ALL ABOARD THE HOT MESS EXPRESS Maddie Beyrouty wrote this
BOOM! It suddenly hits you that the bed you’re lying in isn’t yours, you’re confused about where you are, and you have to remember what this person’s name is lying next to you before they wake up. Are you up in Tower Acres? Are you over by Chauncey? Or did you end up on the other side of campus in McCutcheon? More importantly, you should find your pants. Next time you’re thinking about shacking, here are some tips about how NOT to shack. Don’t Wait to Leave: Wake up and leave. If you haven’t figured out what happened the night before, you don’t want to hear it at all. Whether you’re at one of the fraternities, the green door apartments, Chauncey, or Owen Hall, wake up find your clothes and your dignity and get out. Leaving later than noon is a dangerous thing. You’re risking the chance of running into friends that are still wondering where you went last night, or even worse, the crowd of churchgoers leaving the Christian Campus House on Sunday. The earlier you get your butt up and leave, the less risk you have of making that awkward encounter. Don’t Be a Repeat Offender: Don’t be that person who starts shacking over and over again. When their roommates stop you in the Memorial Union telling you how you look familiar, that’s a sign it’s time to stop drunkenly wandering back to the same place every time you decide to go out. The point of shacking is to keep your visit on the down-low. When you start to get pointed out and you can’t hide your identity any longer, don’t ever go back. Don’t Make Another Pitstop: After the night you’ve had, it’s in yours and everyone else’s best interest that the first thing you do is to go back home and take a shower. Don’t subject yourself to the dirty looks you’re going to get when you decide to stop and get a bite to eat at Triple XXX, or HotBox. Go straight home, get your life together again and go on with your day. Go to the Wabash Landing to watch
a movie, go over to Hicks and do something productive, LIKE STUDY. Or go back to Harry’s Chocolate Shop for round two. Nobody needs to smell the lingering McCormick’s you’re still sweating off. Don’t Get Creepy: Don’t look for a proposal. If you expect to base a relationship off of a drunken night of shacking, your issues run deeper than you think. If you make the mistake of hanging around the morning after and want to engage in awkward small talk, keep it cool and keep it casual. If you’re all the way by AJ’s Burgers and you
need to get back to Wiley, it’s not out of the question to ask for a ride home, it’s the least they can do. There’s nothing worse than waking up to a crazy person (whose name you may or may not remember) wanting to talk about what you’re going to name your future children. Purdue knows how to point out the shackers and students love to talk about it. If you don’t like to be the topic of conversation after a wild night around the town, whether you’re going to Harry’s Chocolate Shop, or frat hopping, you should probably transfer, we love to gossip and we take no prisoners.
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PAGES 12-13
MOVIES ABOUT COLLEGE: RIGHT AND WRONG
TOP 10: CLASSES TO TAKE YOUR SENIOR YEAR
WE INVESTIGATE: HOW NAKED IS TINDER, ACTUALLY?
WE CRITIQUE EVERYTHING EVERYTHING FROM ACCEPTED TO MONSTERS UNIVERSITY
DON’T REGISTER BEFORE READING THIS GUIDE TO MAKING YOUR LIFE SCHEDULE AWESOME.
WE CREATED A FAKE ACCOUNT AND TRIED GETTING SOME NUDES...THE RESULTS WERE TERRIFYING.
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FEBRUARY 26TH, 2015 - MARCH 11TH, 2015
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