The Black Sheep
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• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
Volume 1, Issue 8 10/11/12 -10/17/12
theblacksheeponline.com @blacksheepusc
Drunken Parents Attend Georgia Game mel gaddy wrote this
COLUMBIA - Under the sweltering Palmetto State sun, parents relive their glory days at South Carolina tailgates, alongside their equally intoxicated children who now share in the sacred Gamecock tradition. Nearly one hundred thousand people were estimated by a local police officer to have attended, many of whom consumed alcoholic beverages. Of those who consumed alcoholic beverages, a majority were “binge drinking,” or consuming more than five drinks in one sitting. Officer Bubba Whitetrash noted that morning “Yup, ‘bout a halfa these here football fans ‘r gunna go in dis stadium drunk off dere’ asses.” He added “and I’ma arrest them fer drinkin’ and drivin’ at da checkpoint later when da’ game is over.” When asked why he had to spoil the festivities, his only response was “It’s my job ta’ keep the streets of Columbia free of drunks and other minorities.” After commenting, Officer Whitetrash promptly departed to investigate a group of Indian students who had formed what he described as a “tribe” of “potential criminal activity.” The Black Sheep has independently confirmed that the group of students was, in fact, a service fraternity who were promoting environmentally friendly tailgating practices. Carolina fans in sum, however, suffered the most during the Georgia game as the grounds surrounding Williams-Brice stadium was surrounded by Bulldog fans, who are nationally renowned for drunkenness and belligerency. A Gamecock parent, holding a Budweiser bottle said “we’ll host ‘em, but we’ll sure be happy when they go back home where they came from. This is Gamecock country, baby! Not the dog crate!” However, he took pride in the fact that he could share a beer with his nineteen year-old son, despite national drinking ordinances. “Yeah, me and my boy are gonna hit up Five Points tonight too! I got him a fake ID and everything! Man, this reminds me of the good ‘ole days!” He said as he took another sip of his beer. While many students were arrested for alcohol violations, parents stood out more profoundly in their misuse of alcohol, which has prompted university officials to expand the university’s online drinking education program to all parents who purchase tickets to South Carolina football games. One university official commented on the condition of anonymity “for many years [the University of South Carolina] has speculated that ir-
INTRAMURAL T-SHIRTS MORE IMPORTANT THAN GRADUATING
responsible choices pertaining to alcohol were attributable to a lack of parental supervision, but observation of parent-child tailgate sites suggests that destructive decisions begin in the home.” Alcoholism and binge drinking, the official continued “could be a learned behavior within the Carolina community.” He suggested that to combat this, making tailgates “dry” was an option to be considered. Another administrator, also under the condition of anonymity, stated plainly that “the Carolina community has seen historic blights on its record. The Woodlands party legacy cannot continue at USC tailgates.”
what’s inside
Top 10 Places to Eat on Campus
Parents and students, when told that the University of South Carolina was considering banning the consumption of alcohol at tailgates vehemently objected. One parent commented “I’ve been commin’ to this damn city all my life to get trashed before goin’ into the games. Shit, it just wouldn’t be the same without booze!” Another parent at an adjacent tailgate expressed similar sentiments, and added “There is no way they would ever pull that bullshit off though. Too many of them are alcoholics too.” Students at both tailgates agreed, and continued “the only time my dad and I get along is when we’re both shitfaced.” He raised his beer to a toast, shouting “Go Gamecocks, baby!”
espn gameday: a blurry retrospective
who needs a high GPA when you’ve got a high OBP?
We’re like, always hungry. Stop looking at us like that. WE love FOOD.
so was that not erin andrews i made out with?
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contents page 4: Five POints, Five Bars
Questions? Comments? Compliments? Insults? info@theblacksheeponline.com
page 7
We break down five awesome bars that reside in Five Points.
page 5: from the streets
Table of
what game are you most excited about the gamecocks playing for the rest of the season?
page 7: Penis Jokes No Longer Funny, New Study Reports We thought about this long and very, very hard.
page 11: The Black Sheep Interviews: Big freedia Our chat with the queen diva of the bounce music revolution.
page 12: bartender of the week Meagan from Yesterday’s Tavern fancy’s a certain exotic gentleman.
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now hiring! Why wouldn't you want to work somewhere with unlimited koozies and a "pants are optional” policy?
Marketing, , Promotions, Writing, Groupies, & More!
apply online at theblacksheeponline.com
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That time of the year when fall can't make up it's mind.
Sexy Anagrams
! k e e W e h t f o c i P
Sadly, Morgan’s invisible throw-up super power didn’t garner a call-back from the X-Men, though she was happy with the free pitcher of beer.
(Want to become famous next week? Awesome.)
Send us your pic of the week at pics@theblacksheeponline.com
A Hah Has Sir
Do you know who these hotties are? Send your answers to anagrams@theblacksheeponline.com First five right answers get a prize!
Mom Con last week’s answers
Colbie Smulders & Ryan Lochte
word of the week Endevour:
To undertake any obscene act of consumption. “Marissa endevoured a two-pound jar of Nutella last night; it was a truly impressive feat.”
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Five Points, Five Bars
theblacksheeponline.com
mike singer wrote this
With Pavlov’s and Village Idiot coming in on Bro Bible’s list of the top 100 College Bars in America, we thought it necessary to espouse our thoughts on a few downtown bars. These five bars are staples of the undergrad scene in Five Points. Sure, there are several more bars in Five Points, and The Black Sheep always tries to encourage “bar diversity,” but in a given night one liver can only take so much damage. So if it’s the night before the world ends, here’s where you’ll be kicking it before coming to terms with your maker. Village Idiot: Village Idiot used to be most popular among student athletes and the GDI crowd, but the patronage of this fine establishment is changing. If you’re hankering to dance on a slutty freshman wearing a cut-up t shirt with paint splattered on it, you’re in the wrong place. Village Idiot is a great place to have a slice of “real” pizza and enjoy cheap beer and a pitcher of blue shit that will push your night into Mach 5 territory. Moderately priced, sexy girls, good service and a fresh pizza aroma, Village Idiot is one of the only bars in Five Points that’s equally enjoyable stonecold sober or just before falling asleep on your table. Pavlov’s: This classic frat bar also comes with a totally legit porch setup, convenient cabs at the door and bouncers that aren’t total dicks but still do their jobs. The staff manages to
keep out the trolls that try to stumble in, leading to a female clientele that can be best described as “fucking hot,” and these women love Pav’s because they know frat guys are willing to buy them a drink or six. Though it is overcrowded much of the time, you can have a good time at Pav’s almost every night of the week. Breakers: Week in and week out, there’s been an improvement at Breakers. The problem is, unless you want to buy tall boy, you’re going to have to wait in line just to get a drink. Taking a piss at Breakers is nigh impossible, so be sure to leak all over your friend’s toilet seat well before stepping foot in this bar. The staff is professional and the crowd is different every night. The warmer the weather, the better Breakers is. Jake’s: A wildly underrated bar. Jake’s, with a large back porch, quality beer selection, and live music makes for a great bar for relaxing with some of Columbia’s finest folks. You won’t find vomit on the floor or people tripping over each other, but after 500 Bud Lights in a row, a Sweetwater 420 or a Blue Moon never tasted so good. Pinch: The newest bar in town is the best deal in Five Points. The enthusiastic bartenders are genuinely concerned with
you having a good time (read: getting drunk and partying it up). 90s hits are blasted through the bar including the Beastie Boys, R. Kelly and The Backstreet Boys. With good music and good drinks, life is usually pretty good. Of course Columbia is stacked with tens of other delightful drinkeries as well, from Lucky’s to Red Hot Tomatoes, The Library, Sharky’s, CJ’s, Bar-None, and the Saloon. There’s never a dull night in Paradise City.
[Type text]
! n i l e e e u q Get S
803 252 7229 www.tiossc.com
MOPEDS - DIRT BIKES - ATV’S SALES, SERVICE AND ACCESSORIES
Margaritas, BudLite & Tequila Shots -$2 All Nite & Every Nite!
Thursday thru Saturday .
803-920-4416 | hawgscooters.com | 1928 Rosewood Drive, Columbia
We’re open till 3am 921 Sumter st (Across from the Horse shoe)
From the Streets
[PartyPics]
Got a question you want us to ask? FTS@theblacksheeponline.com
What game are you most excited about the Gamecocks playing for the rest of the season? “Definitely LSU. I have a few friends that go there and we’ve been talking shit for almost a whole year.” - Sam E.
“Clemson! I love beating the hell out of the Tigers. They’re hosting us this year and it’ll be great to get a win against them on their home field.”- Phil K.
“Probably Florida. I’m from Tampa so it’ll be a great road trip and it’s going to decide the SEC East. Everyone should go down for the game!” - Ryan M.
send your party pics to pics@theblacksheeponline.com
(View and Send Pics from our iPhone & Android App! Search black sheep mobile)
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theblacksheeponline.com
Intramural Sports Champion t-shirts deemed more important than graduating cody mann wrote this In an official poll conducted by your friendly neighborhood The Black Sheep writers, it has been determined that the vast majority of Gamecock students value the elusive intramural sports championship t-shirt more highly than actually graduating from the school itself. Opinions varied as to the exact reason why such a difference in perceived importance exists, but it is exceedingly clear where the true priorities of the student body lies. “The world’s getting to the point where there’s so many new entrants to the work force each year, a college degree isn’t really enough anymore,” said one student. “Anybody can go pick up one of those over a weekend. But employers see that intramural sports championship sitting on your resumé, and suddenly they’re interested. They know you’re a real winner.” Many departments are now urging those students lucky enough to have won the hallowed garment to eschew the traditional suit and tie and instead wear their shirt during interviews with potential employers. “It’s a mark of distinction greater than anything academic,” said one advisor. “And we figure, why not have our students display it proudly, so that interviewers know exactly the type of person they’re dealing with?” A common complaint from students who have never won an intramural championship is the benefits reaped from those winners who
were really just “tagging along for the ride.” “I mean, the kid that plays catcher on softball teams just so the team will have ten people, are they really worthy of a shirt?” asked one concerned intramural participant. “I’m in a class with someone who did that, and we all had to hear about his bases-loaded walk for like three classes straight. And every time he tells it, his story gets even more ridiculous. Last I heard, he apparently he narrowly dodged being beaned in the head, had to be restrained from charging the mound, and then somehow scored after he took a borderline pitch outside. Come on, seriously? Yet he’s going to get all the attention whenever he wears that shirt that his teammates really won for him.” An interesting idea posed to the school is already beginning to gain ground. Under a possible new restructuring, USC would begin to offer an actual major in intramurals, with practicum grades based on individual performances in games. The major tract would focus on preparing students to win championships by giving them real game experience. The academic classes would center on the mental aspect of intramurals, with such courses as Batting with Two Outs, Penalties 101, and Defensive Basketball Theory. The school’s administrators are also discussing several new initiatives in light of the growing importance of intramurals. Being considered for current student champions are a private dining facility, priority class registration, and an actual Hall of Fame, which
would be located in the Close-Hipp Building after the new business school facilities open in 2014. “We feel like the Hall of Fame would be a great addition to our school that would be a testament to what we’re really all about,” USC President Harris Pastides said in a press release. “The building, of course, was being considered as the new home for the English Department and the School of the Journalism, among others. But the general consensus now is that devoting the whole building to recognize those who have achieved USC’s highest honor would be a much better use of our resources.”
The Top 10
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Restaurants Around Campus While we all love campus dining, there are other things to eat around Columbia. To celebrate the culinary diversity that is Columbia, South Carolina, The Black Sheep has compiled the top ten actual restaurants we are blessed with in our college town. 10) Grilled Teriyaki: Also known as “Grilled-T” by the student body, Grilled Teriyaki is a Five Points classic. The grilled teriyaki chicken plate is only available late-night, and at $4.95 it just seems like they’re giving the chicken away when you’re shoveling it into your beer hole. 9) Tin Roof: One of the classic Vista destinations, Tin Roof doubles as a burger joint and 21+ bar. Their USC student waitresses are sweethearts who will gladly serve their award winning cheese dip. You know it’s award winning, because the name tells you that it is.
Penis jokes no longer funny, new study reports cody mann wrote this The results of an intensive scientific study have confirmed what has only been suspected to this point: Penis jokes at USC are no longer humorous. The groundbreaking new study was conducted by graduate students at USC’s psychology Department over the past several semesters. One of the directors of the research team, Richard Wang, agreed to be interviewed by The Black Sheep to discuss his group’s investigation into the minds of Carolina students. “The idea first sprang up when a couple of us just happened to notice that no one around campus was really making dick jokes anymore,” said Wang. “And for the love of all things phallic, we just couldn’t think of why that would be. So we decided to launch this study and get to the real meat of the issue.” “At first, we thought that maybe USC was actually becoming a more scholarly place with bright young minds whose first thoughts at the mention of the word ‘snake’ wouldn’t be of a penis. But then we finished walking through the Honors College and decided that that probably wasn’t it.” For one section of their research, Wang’s team studied the reactions of both USC and Clemson students during planned moments of penis-related references. “What we found was that the Clemson students in general reacted much more in line with how we figured all college students would—that is, they laughed at almost everything we threw at them,” said Wang. “We concluded that the phenomenon probably has something to do with the school mascot here. Students at USC may have just become so inured to the taunts of other schools, about our students shouting about how
much they love cocks, that the general effect of penis jokes is relatively flaccid compared to elsewhere.” One major section of the research was a roundtable discussion of former New York Senator Anthony Weiner, who was involved in a sexting scandal in the summer of 2011. According to the reports, the discussion involving USC students was simply a well-reasoned chat about the pitfalls of social media and its effect on the current political world. Not one mention of Weiner’s… weiner…was made among the Gamecocks. Another part of the study involved showing a ten-minute clip on the construction of a building to groups of students from the two schools. “We had the whole shebang in there,” said Wang. “A narrator named Peter Johnson, a dialogue on the erection of a building’s frame, a piece on elevator shafts…and nothing. Not a single USC student laughed or even chuckled throughout any of it. In complete contrast were the Clemson students, many of whom particularly enjoyed the discussion of getting wood for the building.” “The long and short of it is that almost no one besides USC students can hear a penis joke without snickering to themselves. You should have seen the Criminal Justice class we sat in on in Clemson. The professor was going over the American penal system, and almost no one had a straight face during the lecture. We asked the professor beforehand to inform the class that there would be an oral examination on the subject later in the semester, and then the silent laughter turned to audible giggling. “But that was nothing compared to the reaction when he told them that the longest unit of the class would be on African penal codes.”
8) Breakers: Another half bar-half restaurant, Breakers is mostly known for its Everclear Slushies, but it also maintains a surprisingly delicious menu. Huge burgers, fried shrimp, and everything else you would imagine a bar serving, with quality that won’t Breakers the bank. Ahahaha, that pun was delicious. Oh god, we can’t stop. 7) Sonic: While Sonic is a chain, it’s still a classic drunk stop for USC students. Sonic’s lack of a public restroom is countered by its location directly across the street from the Swearingen Engineering Center, a perfect place to design a deuce after a greasy meal. 6) Cook-Out: Along with Sonic, Cook-Out is another drive-thru favorite. Cook-Out is a local fast food chain started in North Carolina and has finally worked its way down to Columbia. The “tray” is the classic order at Cook-Out, for just$ 4.79 one can order a sandwich, two sides, and a drink. The selection is huge and covers just about every southern favorite, from a regular chicken sandwich to a spicy chicken sandwich. 5) DiPrato’s: Located on Pickens just outside of the Bates complex, DiPrato’s is a brunch specialty. Best used for a post-shack date to have a serious chat with a hook-up about never calling again, or to mooch a free meal off of parents in town. 4) Drake’s Duck-In: This 100 year-old fried chicken restaurant is a Columbia classic that was around when your grandma’s grandma was getting her MRS. degree at USC. Located on Main Street and hardly known by the student body, Drake’s is a traditional southern fried chicken restaurant with low prices. 3) Lizard’s Thicket: Another Southern fried restaurant, the Lizard’s Thicket is a classic, home cooked style, comfort food, restaurant. Sadly (and deceivingly), that damn Geico gecko is not a menu choice. 2) Groucho’s: Groucho’s is a hangover cure classic in Columbia. Only open until 4 p.m., Groucho’s is famous for their deli style sandwiches and their dipping sauce, and it caters to only the most hungover of students. 1) Pawleys Front Porch: The best place to eat in Five Points, Pawleys Front Porch is a Southern-style burger joint with a special twist on all of its burgers. They pride themselves on their creative burgers that all have a special, South Carolinathemed flavor to all of them.
steve smith wrote this
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SPECIAL NIGHT
Every Day Happy Hour! 4:30 - 7:30 pm: $2.50 Can Beer, $4 Wine, $3 House Liquor
Tuesday Boozeday! $2 Domestics
Friday - wednesday Your Lucky Hour from 7-10: $1.50 Bourbon/Vodka, $2 Domestic Beers, $3 Imports
THURS. 10/11
Happy Hour! 4:30 - 7:30 pm: $2.50 Can Beer, $4 Wine, $3 House Liquor
Tweet for Treat (specials list) Live DJ: 5 Points Largest Dance Party
Lucky’s Live After 5 Outdoor Series! Crowfield with Reggie Sullivan Band
FRI. 10/12
Happy Hour! 4:30 - 7:30 pm: $2.50 Can Beer, $4 Wine, $3 House Liquor
Freaky Friday with Live DJ
Music Request Night w/ Andy and Nate $4 Goldschlager Your Lucky Hour from 7-10: $1.50 Bourbon or Vodka, $2 Domestic Beers, $3 Imports
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LSU vs South Carolina Viewing Party Music Request Night After the Game with Nate and Troy Your Lucky Hour from 7-10: $1.50 Bourbon or Vodka, $2 Domestic Beers, $3 Imports
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: s e n i l e h outside t t o b o r s t r o p s X O F e h eatus t Cl
2005-2006 NFL ance during the ar pe ap ed vis le off camera, first te who Cleatus was Cleatus made his ow t. kn bo to ro S d te RT O an w SP e w Cleatus, the FOX ercial break. But ring every comm sive interview with du clu rs ex te an ac d ar re . ch l cu ns na se io io ack Sheep el and clean emiss g off CGI promot This week, The Bl ncing and fendin past isn’t all bio-fu da s’s en tu se ea Cl be in n ca ng ythi season. Now he w. Turns out, ever to where he is no t go he w ho d an
Factory Life Cleatus was born in Detroit, and started work right away building and advancing the Pontiac Aztec. However, after the market crashed the factory could no longer afford keeping a technically advanced humanoid. After being found guilty for the tragic death of a coworker, the company had a reason to lay Cleatus off: “The factory was my home. When work ended and everyone went home, I would stay behind. All the lights shut off, except one that was near a radio. Weeks became months and months became years – just that radio and me. The music moved me, and I became more than a cog in the assembly line – I could move in different directions, without prior programming. And I learned to
dance not for myself, but for a woman. A human woman… for almost a year I danced with her in my imagination for hours on end. Then one day, with layoffs looming and clouding my typically calculated mind, a 30-gallon jug of injection fluid slipped through my fingers and doused the love of my life, burning her flesh and killing her, slowly. She looked me in the eyes as she melted into a puddle of flesh with eye contact that I couldn’t reciprocate because these LED lights simply can’t express the alloy-rending pain I felt. Three months later the factory shut down, and I was left to wander the streets of Detroit alone.”
Finding a home Detroit was not welcoming to a robotic humanoid with human blood on his hands. Jobs were scarce – especially for a two-ton robot who only knew Pontiac cars. He was the representation of the American auto industry and its bloated production methods. The police didn’t want him, neither did the military, and the circus doesn’t accept robots. Cleatus was out of options, haunted by death, and addicted to crude oil. “I was jobless and I was an addict. I worked odd jobs here and there – lifting heavy objects, or other… dirtier things… only to buy more fuel. I sold and traded my robotic extensions to sex shops, who displayed them along with my picture. They called me Cleatus the Clit King, and dressed me up in regal clothes to dance and make erotic gestures in their windows. Then, one day, a high
school football coach saw me dancing and asked if I would work his sideline. Of course I took the job, and started dancing with the cheerleaders. We learned from each other, and were surely going to state. I grew extremely close to these girls. They knew what the streets of Detroit were like, and we connected through dance. They were the sisters I never had. They made me feel human, until one day I was reminded again what separates me from them: death. While performing a triple axle twist into the splits, my foot slipped and landed onto Ashley-May’s chest plate, disintegrating it instantly. She died on the spot, and I ran as fast and as far away as I could. But I couldn’t run away from the soulless eyes of yet another human slain at my hand.”
the road to recovery Authorities found Cleatus incoherent from crude oil, and pleasuring himself to pictures of Transformers in children’s magazines. The media had the world believe Cleatus was a murderer pedophile, but Cleatus waited for his day in court. People we screaming for all robots like him to be incinerated. Cleatus prevailed, and his charges were dropped when the court ruled that the two horrific deaths were merely accidents. However, the judge sent him to supervised therapy and required that he be separated from all humans, “He was born in a factory with machines, and that is where he belongs.” If Cleatus couldn’t find a mentor he would be sent to a tropical island to slave away in a sugar factory. Enter William Clay Ford, previous owner of the Continental Division of The Ford Company and current owner of the Detroit Lions. He was also, as it turned out, Cleatus’s father. William took Cleatus under his wing, and placed him in the deep cement depths of Ford Field. He learned of Cleatus’s superior dance moves, and realized that he could use Cleatus to pump up the ever-desperate fans of the Detroit Lions. So, William put a camera in Cleatus’s cement room, and had him perform pump-up routines to broadcast onto Ford Field’s big screen. “At first, I was just happy to be off the streets. I had a great job, and William treated me with respect. He built me, and gave me my first job. Sure, there was some animosity there because he was
so cold after the factory incident… but he saved me. But slowly it seemed like my pump-up routines couldn’t save the Lions, and William’s visits came less and less. It wasn’t until executives at FOX saw my routine and decided to make me a national football treasure. I was ecstatic. Finally my dance moves could be seen by the world, and I could clear my name. Cleatus the Football Robot wouldn’t just be a sideshow - a simple-minded machine whose existence on Earth is to obey humans. No more building crappy cars, no more crude oil keeping me subservient, and no more using my robotic appendages to fulfill human sexual fantasies. But just like everything else in my life, it quickly turned to rust. FOX used me a lot at first; I was getting almost as much airtime as the human football players themselves. But years passed, and the FOX camera crews started visiting less and less, just like William had done. Now I sit in this dark, damp cement cave for months on end. I have no idea what time it is, or even what year it is… and I’m not sure why they insist on keeping the lights off. It’s like being in the factory all over again, but this time I don’t have a radio to keep me sane. I can’t even dance with the ghost of my one true love. The darkness only brings my mind back to the smell of injector
fluid burning her flesh. When I dance, all I hear is her screams. It is torture. When they come back, they just toss a pilgrim or Santa Claus outfit at me and tell me to do some dance moves. Someone mentioned that I have a Twitter account, but that’s impossible. The only source of electricity is the one keeping me alive – and I’ve tried destroying it several times. I hate dancing, I hate them, and I would cry if I could. But I can’t and I’ll be here forever. Locked in this cement prison, dancing and slamming footballs for humans to only laugh and ignore me.”
the interview
big freedia
Big Freedia Queen Diva is on the forefront of the bounce music revolution – an emerging genre that might just eclipse dubstep in a few years (fingers crossed). Its super-uptempo beat triggers all crowds into a raucous booty-bouncin’ frenzy, and we won’t be surprised to see Big Freedia’s name on the long list of musical pioneers to come out of New Orleans. Since bounce music is kind of hard to explain, you should just go look up “Big Freedia” on YouTube or go to her website (bigfreedia.com) (seriously, you won’t regret it, although it is NSFBOOTY). By: Quinn The Black Sheep: Can you describe bounce music for me? Big Freedia: Sure my definition of bounce music is an up-tempo, heavy base, partyin’-time type music. Definitely has to do with shakin’ of the ass too – definitely a party atmosphere, dance-floor music. TBS: You’re a leading force of bounce music, how has it grown since you first got into it? Big Freedia: It has grown tremendously – pickin’ up tons of shows and fans. I’ve traveled half of the world within the last year or so. It’s just expanded really big, and me being on the forefront of it, and being able to bring a lot of people to it, it’s sent me in a whole different direction. TBS: You are in a unique situation – what’s it like going to shows, knowing that a lot of people there haven’t been exposed to this music? Big Freedia: Well, for the most part, it’s been a cool. People tend to have seen the videos or heard it before so they kind of have an idea, but they really don’t know because the live shows are so much different. People are really just excited about it, they cultivate to it, and get into it – they start jammin’ with me. You know, you have no choice but to dance. TBS: Have you ever had a crowd that isn’t getting the vibes? Big Freedia: I wouldn’t say they didn’t get the vibe – I would just say they were more of a “lookable” crowd, like they would just stand and watch, then after each song they’ll start going crazy and cheering – then go back to standing at attention as me and my crew go crazy. But it’s rare that that happens, where people just stand there. TBS: What type of venues do you prefer? Big Freedia: I do them all, but the ones that are really small and get really intense, and you have that connection with the crowd – it gets really sweaty and hot. Those shows, where people are packed in, it’ll be a better show, the vibes, the tightness of the room – those are always so intense. TBS: Are shows different in New Orleans than other places? Big Freedia: Most definitely, I’d say they’re different. Each place is a little different, you know, kind of the same response in the fans love it and everyone is partying. But the fans in New Orleans know all my music and are used to me, so they holler and sing all the lyrics. TBS: Your videos are awesome, are you making any on this tour? Big Freedia: Yeah I actually have a few videos about to drop. Two that should come out in the beginning of October – working on “Step into the Ring” we’re just waiting on the editing to get done – then it will be out as soon as possible. Also a new one with Ru Paul called “Peanut Butter.” TBS: What’s a perfect day in the life of Big Freedia? Big Freedia: When I’m feeling in good health, my mom’s in good health, my family’s safe and secure. You know, just being blessed to wake up another day is a blessing for me. TBS: I’m sure Katrina changed that outlook. Big Freedia: Definitely, going through Katrina and sleeping under bridges and convention centers, being displaced from your family – definitely changed my life for sure. TBS: What’s something you can’t go without when you travel? Big Freedia: Oh yeah, I can’t go without my razors so I can shave my face – my personal hygiene things of course. I’d be lost without my laptop. All those things to keep everything goin’ in the movement and the work I need to do. Always try to bring some merch for the fans… TBS: Speaking of merch, where can people go to pick up your music and everything? Big Freedia: I always bring some posters and booty shorts – two things I always have with me.
the big three
entertainment-y things we’re all excited about.
sinister in theaters october 12 Ethan Hawke plays a novelist who discovers a box of creepy-ass home movies in the creepy-ass attic of his family's new creepy-ass home. The films contain footage of the family who used to live there, but have been murdered, and each are connected by one thing - an image of (you guessed it!) a creepy-ass dude. You could say our asses are pretty creeped out.
argo in theaters october 12
During the height of the Iranian Revolution Tony Mendez (played by white-boy Ben Affleck) concocts a practical plan of creating a fake Hollywood production to fool the terrorists into a releasing a group of U.S. diplomats. If you think this sounds nuts, you're right. But it's also based on actual events, which is nuts.
Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations Monday, October 15 at 9pm on Travel channel
Anthony Bourdain may be one of your standard go-to's on a slow TV night, as he's better than watching Adam Richman stuff burgers down his throat. This week Bourdain heads to Rio, where he drinks Brazil's national cocktail the caipirinha and eats filet mignon stew. Sounds pretty dope if you ask us.
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bartender of the week Meagan O. Yesterday’s tavern How long have you been bartending here: I’ve been working here for 6 years but only working the bar for 2 months. What’s your favorite part about bartending at Yesterday’s Tavern: We have an amazing crowd that comes through every night and Carolina game days are wild. What’s the craziest thing that’s ever happened while you were working: Well, on St. Patrick’s day within 10 minutes of coming into work, a woman was carried out on a stretcher, a guy was arrested for falling asleep at the bar, and a couple kids puked in a booth. If you could have anybody walk through the doors of your bar tonight who would it be: Definitely Joseph Gordon Levitt, he’s one of my favorite movie stars and would
the drinking game
downtown This game is not for the lightweights or the causal drinkers. Players will be engaging in a mixture of beer pong and flippy cup. Does that sound like a pussy game to you? No. Let’s get down to business.
be a cool-ass dude to get drunk with. Which cartoon character turns you on the most: Aladdin, what an exotic gentleman. What is one thing about you that others would be shocked to know: This is funny. The only time I’ve ever been blackout drunk was right here in Yesterday’s Tavern in front of all my bosses. If you didn’t bartend what would your dream job be: I want to be an interior designer for bars, hotels, and restaurants. It’s what I went to school for. What’s the best night to come to Yesterday’s Tavern: Tuesday night is Trivia night which is a blast and Thursday is college night and we have $2.00 pints!
Recipe for Disaster
Classic Puppy Chow This is a classic recipe that anyone with half a brain can make and enjoy. Except for those with a hatred of chocolate or a peanut butter allergy. But screw them, right?
What You’ll Need: Cups, ping pong ball, and beer … lots of beer. Number of Players: Eight players, four per team. Level of Intoxication: Insta-shitfaced.
What You’ll Need: An entire jar of peanut butter (none of that organic bullshit), a bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips, a stick of butter, a box of Chex cereal, and powdered sugar. Cook Time: 20 minutes. Fatty Factor: You’ll realize that not even an eating disorder will help your case after your massive consumption of this chocolate, peanut buttery goodness.
How to Play: - Split up into two teams of four and stand on opposite sides of a table. - Set up a three-two-one formation of cups at the end of the table. - Give each player a cup with beer in it, any amount you all decide on. - The game starts with the first player of each team chugging their drink and flipping the cup. This flippy cup continues down the chain for each team. - When the last person in line has successfully flipped his or her cup, it’s time for the shootout. - Players will shoot across the table into one of the three-two-one cups on the opposite side. - Once a single shot is made, that round ends. The players all shift down one spot, and the game starts over again with flippy cup.
Let’s Get Baked: - Melt one stick of butter and roughly a half jar of peanut butter. A microwave can be used but a stove top is easier to work with. - Once the peanut butter and butter are melted, add a half of a bag of chocolate chips and slowly melt those as well. - While everything is melting add a few spoonfuls of peanut butter and about six handfuls of chocolate chips. - Taste the mixture as you go along added more peanut butter or chocolate as you feel necessary. - Once you have accomplished the perfect ratio, pour your cereal into a bowl and drizzle the melted mixture over all of the cereal. - Place the coated Chex cereal and powdered sugar into a bag and violently shake it until all the pieces are totally covered. - Let your finished product cool and share (or not).
The Game Ends When: The team who clears their opponents’ three-two-one cups at the end of the table first wins, and they can celebrate sweet victory … if they can still stand.
WARNING: Puppy chow has been known to invoke feelings of regret, produce a negative body image, and make romantic comedies an acceptable genre.
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ESPN’s Gameday, A Blurry Retrospective
mike singer wrote this
This past weekend ESPN Gameday made its appearance at South Carolina for the first time since 2010. It was a great success; even Hootie made an appearance on the set alongside Kirk and Lee Corso. Students put in extra time creating vulgar signs bashing the Bulldogs, making Michael Vick jokes (beating Dawgs) or portraying Erin Andrews in numerous sexual positions, even though she’s no longer with the mothership. Rather than setting up in a location reasonably close to the stadium, Gameday set up on the Horseshoe. Yeah it’s a historic part of campus, and yeah it’s significant for South Carolina’s sense of place on the college landscape, but there are much better places to set up. Shit, the Gameday crew could let loose on the lots, the Loose Cockaboose, the Woodlands Pool, a backyard on Rosewood. Anything would be better than the Horseshoe. Sure it’s convenient for freshmen living on campus, but it’s already hard enough for those living off campus to get the stadium without anyone driving drunk, which is frowned upon by just about every sane person on the planet. Getting from your apartment, to the Horseshoe, back to the stadium all while collectively maintaining your buzz is nigh impossible, work with us drunks, people.
Students came from all over the southeast to see the game and get drunk in a grass parking lot before eventually making it to Five Point to get arrested. Police prepared for a riot and wasted tons of taxpayer dollars to stop drunk freshmen from having too much fun. Plenty of people were arrested, nearly all were from alcohol-related crimes.
ESPN’s crew was given the titanic task of fighting off the drunken horde of students who were desperate to shave a few seconds off of their fifteen minutes out on the Horseshoe. Nonetheless, Chris Fowler and Desmond Howard set up to discuss the game with The Old Ball Coach while reliving Jadeveon Clowney’s massive hit on Aaron Murray from last year’s game. Oh, the memories that Aaron so badly wants to forget.
Whether they were drunk students finishing off their weekend of debauchery or serious fans locking in moments of the game to hold onto until their death bed, everyone had a good time. Most students will admit that they couldn’t pick out a single event that took place during the game; the free-flowing beer sort of mashed them into one big, hazy fever-dream full of tingly genitals and screaming fans.
Saturday also saw the return home for Darius Rucker, a USC alumni, country singer, Gamecock enthusiast, and former Hootie from Hootie and the Blowfish. Rucker returned to USC’s campus Saturday, played some songs at the Tin Roof, tailgated his ass off, and cheered for the Cocks. There’s really nothing like corn hole, garnet-colored Bud Light cans and Hootie and the Blowfish.
We all owe one to ESPN for coming to South Carolina for a real top-10 showdown rather than hustling south to watch some tigers get gangbanged by a bunch of freaking alligators. Gamecock nation owes one to College Gameday for making this weekend memorable, well, as far as memories can be remembered after a dozen Bud Lights.
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Passing The Bar
Maybe not today, and probably not tomorrow, but there will be a point in your life when you drink alcohol that doesn’t end in “light” or “o’clock.” Test your knowledge to see how many of these blank liquor labels you know. Send your answers to labels@theblacksheeponline.com and if you get them all, you’ll win a prize!
the classtime
drinks and what they’re made of
Across
3) Wine, fruit, club soda 5) White tequila, Jagermeister, lime juice 6) Vodka, coffee liqueur, cream 9) Vodka, tomato juice, spices 12) Bailey’s, sambuca 13) Gold tequila, watermelon schnapps, Red Bull 16) White rum, sugar, lime juice, sparkling water, mint 17) Cherry vodka, Red Bull, simple syrup 18) Peach schnapps, orange juice 19) Whiskey, lemon juice, simple syrup 21) Cherry brandy, orange juice 22) Bailey’s, lime juice 24) Scotch, sweet vermouth, bitters 25) Peach schnapps, vodka, cranberry juice, orange juice 26) Tequila, limeade concentrate, triple sec, ice
4) Whiskey, beer 7) Jagermeister, peach schnapps, cranberry juice 8) Vodka, gin, tequila, rum, triple sec, lemon juice, cola 10) Jim Beam, Jack Daniel’s, Jose Cuervo 11) Gin, dry vermouth, olive juice, olives 14) Whiskey, sugar, bitters 15) Vodka, orange juice 20) Vodka, lemon juice, sugar 23) Champagne, orange juice
Down
1) Pale ale, Guinness stout 2) Rum, cream of coconut, pineapple juice
Answers
Six degrees of separation
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Disclaimer The Black Sheep in no way promotes, encourages or supports binge drinking, and/or under-age drinking. This newspaper is designed for entertainment purposes only and does not recommend attempting anything printed in this publication. Please drink...responsibly and legally.
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