The Black Sheep
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• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
Volume 2, Issue 13 • 4/18/13 - 4/24/13
theblacksheeponline.com @blacksheepUTK
Orange and White Game: Up the Ante, Butch Davy Crockett wrote this
On April 20th UT Nation will get the chance to sneak a peek at our 2013 Vols football team, now under new management. Fooley is finally out of the picture, and everyone is anxious to see how Butch Jones is handling the team. So far, so good, as we’re ranked #4 in recruiting, according to Rivals.com. But rankings mean nothing if you can’t deliver, and that’s why the Orange and White game is such a big deal. Vol fans have been salivating at the mouth to see some football since the last disappointing season ended. We want action. We want glory. We want a game. Even though this scrimmage is just us playing (with) ourselves, we still need a good showing to feed our Vol football addiction and tide us over, in the same way we “tide ourselves over” every weeknight until the weekend comes. Butch needs to up the ante. Last year, Dooley’s only encouragement for one side to win was that the winning team got treated to a steak dinner while the losers ate hot dogs and chips. Really? The losers lost and still ate better than half this campus? No, we’re calling bullshit. They need real incentive to perform at full capacity and prove to us they won’t repeat the utter letdown that was last season. We want to see bloodlust in their eyes and fire in their balls. The losing team shouldn’t be fed at all, for one. They should have to look on while the winners feast on steak. They should also have to wear dresses and wigs, and dance while the winners eat so that they’re fully humiliated. They need to be trained to hunger for glory and fear loss. The Orange and White game should teach them that losing is not an option, and losers will be treated like losers. Seem harsh? Well too freakin’ bad! We’re not done yet; after what us fans have been through, no amount of weak punishment can match our level of humiliation and frustration. The losing team should promptly be enrolled in the hardest classes UT has to offer, with the worst teachers, not get to take Comm classes and have tutors every step of the way. They should have to trim the field in Neyland Stadium – with just nail clippers! Naked! With pigs poopi – ok that’s enough.
A Rocky Top Graduation We’re hoping graduation ceremonies go a little something like this.
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We’re not evil. We just want what we’re due – a return to glory for the UT football program. We have faith in Butch, but he has to go beyond creating a football team, he has to create warriors. What are football players if not the champions that represent our school, those sent out defeat our rivals? Spartan warriors were sent to boot camp at the age of 7, so we’re not asking for much, comparatively -- just a little toughness, and to not be fed fucking hot dogs when they lose.
what'’s inside
The Orange and White game sends a message to not only the fans, but also the rivals. We want Bama and Florida to be thinking “Oh… shit.” after they watch our scrimmage. We want them to think we will not only beat them, but pillage their campus and keep their women. Butch, make these Volboys into Volmen! Nay, VOLWARRIORS!
Top 10: Things to Do Besides Study
Bartender of the week
Finals on the way? You should study? Well, don’t. Any one of these things is a thousand times better.
Ben from Sunspot is on the prowl, ladies, and may give you a free drink if you make him think his telepathic powers work.
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