The Black Sheep FR
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• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
Volume 1, Issue 3 9/20/12 - 9/26/12
theblacksheeponline.com @blacksheepUTK
Jimmy Cheek vs. Greek Life The black sheep staff wrote this
As a frat member, sorority member, or even as a GDI on campus, one knows that there are a few things that are not to be messed with. These sacred rituals include thirsty Thursdays, PDM, and game day celebrations. However, our way of life may be under attack. Imagine: You’re preparing to go out on PDM, a day infamous for its raucous parties and panty-dropping sorots. Then you find out that a mandatory meeting has been set up for that night for all new sorority and frat members, which will severely limit the amount of actual panty-dropping occurring. “This is an outrage!” you think. “Who can be to blame?” Like many blame President Obama for our country’s present problems, many here are blaming Jimmy Cheek – chancellor of UTK and implementer of the Top 25 Plan, the goal of which is to make us into a university that’s in league with the big dogs. You’ve seen his name on those “Letter from the Chancellor” emails you never read and on memes about the always-increasing price of tuition. It’s all fun and games when he’s messing with academic policy, but this time he’s gone too far. Messing with our traditions and our social time is a huge no-no, and new policies are affecting both of these by targeting alcoholic incidents and Greek organizations. By forcing frat houses to stop having parties, they’re severely challenging the Greek tradition. And, unfortunately, Jimmy has a lot of say concerning the fates of our sorots and fratties. In many other SEC schools, Greek life is fairly independent because they own the land their houses are built on. But on good ol’ Rocky Top, the school owns the land, allowing the university to dictate what goes on there. We’re supposed to be a dry campus and all, but c’mon. If you think frat row or sorority village or even the rest of the university isn’t swimming in beer, you have another think coming, Jimmy. Is it really fair to punish both the Greeks and independents on campus because of a few individuals? And, how much of a difference would that really make? This campus would look significantly different if you remove the alcohol component. Let’s just take a look into that future, shall we? It’s a Friday night. You get dressed up with your girlfriends- wearing tight skirts and decked out in all your Forever 21 finery. You wobble in your heels towards Frat Row, expecting to party hop your way to Saturday morning. However, when you arrive a bleak scene greets you. Imagine a ghost town in a Western film. Tumbleweeds, dilapi-
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dated buildings, the whole shebang. Zombie-like former frat kings are roaming the streets, except instead of “brains” they’re groaning “beeeeerrrrrrr.” As a last refuge from this post-apocalyptic scene, our entire student body would be forced into different weekend venues to get our party on. Just think: The Hill, Rumorz, RT’s – they would all be packed. Kids would just be running rampant and partying in the streets. Obviously this would create even more problems than alcohol-induced shenanigans do now. With the streets filled with drunken students, there would be more car accidents and people getting run over on The Strip. Some chick drops her iPhone while crossing the street from the Tin Roof to Longbranch Saloon, goes
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back for it, and BAM! Taken out by a Subaru. She wouldn’t even be in that situation had she had a relatively car-free environment to go to in a frat house. Is this what you want, Jimmy? To add to the list of casualties? No, ya don’t. There would be more arrests, crazier house parties, and probably some lost limbs and knife fights. It’s like the armageddon of collegiate life. Students would be going crazy from alcohol deprivation and trying to get their party fix. And that’s just not the life anyone wants to lead. Sorry, Jimbo, but we don’t quite agree with your policy if this is the future we’ll have to look forward to.
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