The Black Sheep UT SENIOR BUCKET LIST
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The College Newspaper That's Actually About College
Volume 6
Issue 6
Cory Chitwood wrote this
For those of us who are seniors, graduation is fast approaching. It’s been a fun 4, 5 – or maybe even 6 years. The real world is looming – it’s a place where you can’t get drunk on a Thursday at a bar where your shoes stick to the floor. Well, very often, at least. Even if you’re not graduating this year, it’s never too early to start the UT Student Bucket List. Drive a car on Pedestrian Walkway: Do it at night if you’re a pussy and don’t want to get in trouble. You’d be part of an elite group of UT students no one would ever forget. “Hey, remember that guy who almost committed mass murder on Pedestrian Walkway? Yeah, what a badass he was.” Smoke “tobacco” on top of the University Center: Yes, this is possible. There’s a way to get up there, but we don’t wanna ruin the fun by putting it in print. Sneak up there one night and enjoy the club level of the UC. Toke up that sweet, dank tobacco, and enjoy the view. Light fireworks with the Torchbearer: Think UT needs a little color? Work your way outside of Knox County and go buy some. Go all-in and get the big ones. While you’re lighting up Circle Park with what sounds like gunshots, UTPD will rush to the Torchbearer, leaving the Fort open for crazy parties. So get those roman candles and let’s work on Block Party 2.0. Pop champagne with Butch Jones: Top button buttoned, fivestar players, and orange on orange. The fearless leader does what he wants when he wants – which is why you should try your best to be around him. It’s a long shot, but if you get to be in his presence, make the most of it. Have champagne ready at all times so you can spray it on some shithead in crimson (or orange and blue) while the rest of the SEC bows down.
Given all the crazy shit that happens at this school, it’s reasonable to assume that you could pull this off. Trust us, there’s nothing sweeter than that post-11:10-12:25 class hook-up.
lame like, “Will you marry me?” or “Happy birthday!” Streak through Hodges Library: In the past few years, there have been flash raves at the library. A few weeks ago, someone posted a video on the UTK subreddit of a student riding a bike through there. These are cool, but kinda soft. Get in your birthday suit and walk casually through the stacks. You can do it alone, or even better, do it in a group. Drop those drawers and traipse past the front desk and into UT campus history.
Try to seal the deal in class: Who says you have to be at a party to get laid? Grow some balls, sit beside that hottie and do your thing.
Paint the Rock: Considering the Rock is painted about 3 times a day, this doesn’t seem like a big deal. But it can be if you paint something cool on there. How about “(someone you hate) cries after sex!” Or, the personal cell phone number of a UTPD officer? Really, whatever you wanna do, but it better not be something
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PAGES 10-11
TOP 10: THINGS TO DO AT UT WHEN IT’S WARM
WHY YOU DON’T NEED THE APPLE WATCH
THE 9 GREATEST COMEBACKS IN THE HISTORY OF EARTH
FROM WET T-SHIRT CONTESTS TO BASEBALL GAMES, THERE’S A LOT TO DO.
ONE WATCH OR 100 BOXES OF GIRL SCOUT COOKIES? YOU DECIDE.
WITH MARCH MADNESS IN FULL SWING AND EASTER AROUND THE CORNER, LET’S TALK ABOUT COMEBACKS!
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MARCH 25TH, 2015 - APRIL 8TH, 2015
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