The Black Sheep
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Vol. 3, Issue 6
The College Newspaper That's Actually About College
9/26/13 - 10/2/13
The Secret Order of Davy Crockett BY: Austin McLaurine There are tons of organizations to join at UT, whether they are Greek or not. Many student orgs go unnoticed by the general student body, and some might as well not exist to anyone besides the few members in the group. The specific fraternity of mountain men and women we bring to you today have been traversing the hills of East Tennessee and are probably the least known organization on campus. Unlike other campus organizations, The Secret Order of Davy Crockett meets year-round, if only due to the fact that they don’t realize school ends. The Order was founded by a descendent of Santa Anna (a jealous enemy of Davy Crockett) as an offensive white supremacist group who would attempt to defame Mr. Crockett. Fortunately, the idea never really took off due to a much more popular white supremacist group already established in the area. So the down-and-out group members chased off Santa Anna and decided to make a club out of living in the woods. The Order reversed its opinion and is now set up to glorify Davy Crockett and the lifestyle of a simpler time when diarrhea could take hold of your life at any moment. Today, most of the members aren’t even actually enrolled in classes, but The Order is still considered a campus organization since they sometimes donate meat to Presidential Court Cafeteria. Want to join The Order? Well, the first task of joining the fraternity is actually finding the fraternity. Locating the members can be difficult since they seem to be constantly moving through the Knoxville area. If seen on campus, they are usually the ones who scare people away with their odor of campfire and wild skunk. Only a few people actively seek them out, and even fewer make it through the perilous tests of forest living, such as building log cabins, defending your homestead from Native American attacks, and attempting intimate, sometime-sexual relations with trees. People not wearing leather or any type of coonskin are immediately turned away. Once it is established that the person who stumbled upon The Order actually meant to stumble upon them, they are tasked with the objective of setting up camp. That’s usually enough to get into The Order, and if their site stays up for a month the pledge is awarded his official Davy Crockett coonskin hat. The real challenge in this is to set up camp inconspicuously on campus, while blending into the landscape enough so as not to be found. Members enjoy taking breaks from the rigorous frontier lifestyle, so they distill their own moonshine. There have been instances where it was found being passed around on the street and incapacitating people on scent alone, but The Order was able to avoid police suspicion since literally no one knows they exist. Ceremonies that occur include a candlelight vigil for the day Davy died and an ice cream social for his birthday. The ice cream is usually terrible since they don’t use refrigerators. Occasionally, the members of the fraternity do journey into civilization, but they rarely make it past the jerky stores of Pigeon Forge. The Order remains a constant but enigmatic entity, content to go unnoticed by everyone as long as their fearless leader Davy Crockett is honored. While the rest of us live out our routine lives, they go on drinking their jet fuel, hunting “wild” game in the Smokies, and celebrating a way of life that is no longer present. But we take off our metaphoric coonskin caps to these frontiersmen-wannabees, the people who keep alive the true spirit of the Volunteer behind closed doors.
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A Conversation with a DieHard Quidditch Player
Top 10: Ways to Spend 3 Hours waiting for the ios 7.0 update
She was basically a hawk-human hybrid. Seriously, her nails were sharpened.
Well you can’t play Candy Crush, that’s for sure.
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We Interview: Flux Pavilion Our chat with the English DJ-slashproducer.