The Black Sheep
FR E sm E... el lik ls e at th Jim e d my elic Jo iou hn s ’s.
• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
Volume 2, Issue 8 • 2/28/13 - 3/6/13
theblacksheeponline.com @blacksheepUTK
UTK, let’s Get Ready To Rumble tennessee staff wrote this The long, anticipated countdown is nearly over as one of the biggest Greek events in the nation arrives: Boxing Weekend. VolNation has been itching for this weekend since the last, and this year is particularly special. SAE has dedicated the tournament to the legendary Ace Miller, the man who helped start this booming tradition thirty-three years ago. SAE and Miller together founded something larger than just giving testosterone’d up frat bros a reason to fight each other– they began what would become known as the most successful Greek charity event in the nation . The sheer idea of competitive boxing between fraternities is entertaining enough, especially since there’s always some bad blood between a few bros from who get into “You wanna go bro?” shoving matches when leaving the Strip every-weekend this semester. To see the competitive edge channeled for a larger cause is what makes this event worthwhile, in the same way you can justify stealing booze from a homeless guy, saying “it’s for a good cause.” Whether some sophomore gets taken out in 12 seconds or two equal opponents slug it out for the entire round, you’ll be drunkenly reveling in the aura of masculinity and violence. The crowd follows along as if you’re watching Rocky up there instead of a junior engineer from Sigma Chi. Shit gets realer than real at these matches. Every Vol should have attending this event on their college bucket list, because people from all over the south (aka all of our rivals) roll up to our great city for this weekend alone. And if the boxing isn’t enough, some badass musical acts are coming in for the weekend. You’ll have the chance to catch The Free Willies, Yonas, Juicy J, Cherub, Gorilla Zoe, or even get to witness Waka Flocka Flame go hard in the paint. If you’re lucky, a crowd at one of these concerts will break into a mosh pit, and you’ll be able to let loose some of your own violent tendencies. We’re not sure what could be better than the combination of watching bros fighting, some concerts, and then getting faded as hell afterwards to celebrate. This is what college is all about, right guys? And this is more legit than just seeing two frat dudes outside Cook-Out throw some wild punches and yell obscenities at each other because they got too drunk and spilled appletinis on each other’s shoes. This shit’s for real.
The Strip Transforms Only the finest sidewalks can be drunkenly passed out on.
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We’ve heard through the beervine that this tourney will be record-breaking. This is the weekend that will have campus buzzing for days – whether it was the guy whose pants got pulled down in the second round, that sophomore who got knocked out after one punch, or the questionable amount of erections that resulted – the campus will be talking for days. There is also rumors of some Cinderella Man potential within some of the first-time fighters, and who knows if one brother will rise up against the opposition like Mark Wahlberg and claim title as victorious champion and ultimate badass status at UT forever. You don’t want to miss this one. Raising a bunch of g’s for char-
what'’s inside
So you want to go to Bonnaroo
ity, watching people smash faces, and cheering for dudes you see in class is one of the most rewarding ways to spend your time. It’s definitely a lot more fulfilling than watching a watermelon bust. These guys have been “training” for “months” to perform at their top game so you’re guaranteed a good show (read: training means drunkenly wrestling and months means last weekend). Get out there to support your friends, your classmates, your brothers, and represent your school for a charitable cause. The 33rd Ace Miller Memorial Boxing Tournament will be at the Knoxville Expo Center from February 28th through the 30th.
Bartender of the week
Nothing like paying hundreds of dollars not to remember anything.
Stephanie’s a fan of Spongebob (yay!) and Vanderbilt (boo!) and waiting to serve you up some drinks at Cool Beans.
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contents
Questions? Comments? Compliments? Insults? info@theblacksheeponline.com
page 5: The Top 10: Dance Crazes to Replace the Harlem Shake
page 5
Unfortunately butt chugging isn’t a recognized dance
page 7: from the streets If you wont a million dollars, what would you buy?
page 10: Guess This Dress! Oscar Edition Which sexy ladies rocked ‘em on the red carpet?
Table of
page 11: We Interview: Big Gigantic Check out the acclaimed electronic jam band on tour this summer!
page 12: Drinking game and recipe for disaster We suggest a game of Battleshots and make brownies slutty.
page 15: The madlib how do you prep for a pop show?
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last week’s answers
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Bria Murphy & Justin Theroux
word of the week Slumbeer:
The last beer of the evening, often drank as a person is nodding off. “If Neil drops his slumbeer, be sure to wake him up by pouring whatever isn’t spilt on his head.”
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The Strip Transforms Lindsey Fleck wrote this Imagine Cumberland Avenue with two lanes instead of four. Imagine it being lined with restaurants and specialty shops that drain a college student’s weekly budget with one purchase. Imagine it smattered with beautiful, transracial people of the future, and not the wandering homely vagabonds we’ve come to love. You can imagine it today, but in a short four years this will be reality. In case you haven’t heard, starting in August the Strip is undergoing a massive facelift. The first, and perhaps biggest, problem will be stripping the Strip from four lanes to two lanes. The project manager, Anne Wallace, probably hasn’t driven on Cumberland Avenue, or she would know not to make this idiotic mistake. Instead, she lives in this nice little world where everything’s smooth traffic, daisy-scented poops, and lollipop rainbows, instead of the real world where people are trying to make left turns that block the whole lane. Expect major traffic jams in the future. A minor benefit is your teachers will cancel class all the time because they forgot about the changes, and they’ll be stuck in traffic. But then again, you’ll be late for the ones that are sticklers for attendance—the same ones that’ll ditch their cars in the middle of the street so as not to be late for a lecture. Another “Big Idea” is that they want to start this project in August, and while the people who live under rocks won’t see this as a problem, we’ll give you a hint: football starts August 31 against Austin Peay. This means that more than 100,000 people will be roaming around the university, the last thing they’ll want to deal with is a fucked-up Strip. How will people know the difference when they’re either hitting a speed bump or running over another
drunken APSU fan? And who the hell even starts construction projects in August? This is the busiest month for a college town with all the moving, the drunken back-to-school debauchery, and again, football. Knoxville is known for football and being orange, and but with a never-ending construction zone on the horizon, soon that color will be better-associated with the safety cones that litter Cumberland. Yet another construction project to the poor broken Knoxville, this now brings the total to like, a billion things being fixed. What the hell Knoxville, why must you change everything? This executive decision was made without running the idea past current members of the student body, and we think that’s pretty, pretty silly. Think about it -- would students really sound off on this? Hell nah. We took a break from getting drunk and playing night crawlers at our meetings and decided to get to the bottom of this. We bribed an assortment of students with beer, sexy sluts, and drugs and formed our very own The Black Sheep focus group. At first it was a little hard to get the students to stop partaking in a drunken, acid-induced orgy, but we eventually got them to give us their opinions. While the drunks appreciate two less lanes they’ll have to stumble across as they go from one bar to the other, they were all ultimately against the idea. The reason is obvious: the Strip wouldn’t be the Strip if it got a big uppity makeover. They dislike all future inconveniences this construction will bring to their alreadycomplicated lives, and just generally hate change (which is why most of them refused to shower for the duration of the experiment). Most
importantly, they don’t believe this is for their benefit, and are sure it will take longer than four years. What if they stop construction in the middle, like the Henley Street Bridge? This project is way more trouble than it’s worth. From all-butguaranteed cost overruns to a riotous student body demanding that change be changed, we offer this advice to whatever administrative body made this fallacious decision: Leave the Strip the way it is. It’s fine to puke on old, tattered things, we’d hate to stain your new pet project.
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The
Top 10
Dance Crazes to Replace the Harlem Shake
200 Lowwood Drive | woodmeadesouth.com | (865) 573-8884
Let’s face it, we’re all pretty sick of the Harlem Shake craze. The one done at the retirement home was admittedly pretty precious, but do we need to have our Newsfeeds clogged with versions done by every college organization and bored adolescent in the entire United States? In an attempt to give us something (anything!) else to watch on YouTube while avoiding doing our homework, we have compiled a list of the top ten dance crazes we’d like to see become the new Internet dance sensation. 10.) The Macarena: Flash back to elementary school. Remember how cool you felt shaking your prepubescent ass to a song that may or may not have been in Spanish? Now imagine being able to shamelessly perform it on video with a hundred of your classmates. Besides, you still have the song on your iPod anyway, admit it.
9.) The Irish Jig: Because who wouldn’t love to see viral videos of their school mascot wearing a frilly sequined dress and bouncing up and down to the Dropkick Murphys? Kilts required. 8.) Disco: This one would especially appeal to our parents’ generation who have just now figured out how Internet memes work. They would appreciate a cultural reference they actually can relate to. Although we would have to place a limit on the number of wine-addled, overweight middleaged women who think it’d be hilarious to film their own version in their bell bottoms from high school.
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7.) Waltzing: Imagine enormous flash mobs waltzing in front of Ayres with absolutely straight faces. Now try not to laugh. Point made. 6.) The Electric Slide: The number one requirement for this video category would be to film this dance being performed at half past midnight by sloshed and giggling bridesmaids at every wedding reception in the United States. It’d be an instant YouTube sensation, especially amongst lonely and horny guys. 5.) The Bump n’ Grind: There would be no shortage of opportunities to film this one being performed by huge groups of people -- parents could make a killing with this one by sneaking into their teenagers’ school dances. Although the pedophilic, cradle-robbing aspect of watching those might be a major drawback… to some people, anyway. 4.) Square Dancing: Soccer moms at a Garth Brooks concert! Rednecks at a NASCAR race! Drunk sorority girls in cowboy boots at Cotton-Eyed Joe! Around here, the filming possibilities are truly endless. 3.) The Hava Nagila: Bearded, bespectacled Orthodox Jews dancing in a circle holding someone in a chair above their heads. They just don’t make quality entertainment like that anymore. Somebody please popularize this dance outside Bar Mitzvahs. 2.) The Dougie: Forget makeup and cooking tutorials – what we really need in the endless stream of online instructional videos is for someone to teach us how to Dougie. It’s in the lyrics, isn’t it? We just want what we’re due. 1.) The Real Harlem Shake: Yes, friends, this is a real dance, not just a group of people jumping around in wild costumes and calling it “dancing.” The real Harlem Shake originated in Harlem, New York in 1981 and is performed by wildly shaking your body. It is infinitely more awesome to watch than the more recent version, but good luck trying to find a video of the actual dance amongst the 100,000 meme versions.
Sarah Russell wrote this
NTOWN! W O D D N A T U M O FR S 5 MINUTE
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so you want to go to bonnaroo mumford’s son wrote this It’s that time again when lineups for summer music festivals are coming out, and as an adventurous, music-loving, willing-to-skimp-on-textbooks-so-you-can-afford-concerts college student, you’re interested. College is the perfect time to gather up some friends with similar musical interests (you don’t want to go on a road trip with someone who only listens to death metal) and head out to one or more of these great festivals. But, being a Tennessean, you’re honor-bound by the Code of the Volunteer State to stay loyal to the music festival that takes place within our state’s borders: Bonnaroo. Everybody and their mother want to go to Bonnaroo. Don’t get us wrong, we do too, but is it worth it? Is it? With headliners like Sir Paul McCartney, probably, but let’s put this in perspective. A ticket runs at about $250 bucks, not including supplies, travel, and extra money for the superoverpriced food, the showers for which you have to pay unless you want to be Stinky McGrossButt for all of the trip, and the miscellaneous souvenirs you’ll no doubt justify buying (memories!). $250 to a broke collegiate could be a month of rent. And everything else on top of that pays for a month out on the Strip. Hell, it could be enough trips to the grocery store to feed you through the semester without surviving just on ramen. It could be the supplies for the art class you wanted to take. Then again, how many chances do you get to see a former Beatle before they’re extinct? Bonaroo certainly is one of the coolest things that’s hosted in Tennessee, and lets non-Tennesseans know that we aren’t only interested in Nascar and sex with our cousins. When people think of Tennessee’s musical claims to fame, they mostly think of Nashville being country music headquarters. To ousiders, the only thing to happen in Memphis was that Elvis died there (he wasn’t even a Tennessee native, people!). This is our one chance to show people that we do have good music taste! Tennesseans who go to Bonnaroo can take pride in the fact that they obviously have more claim to this festival than all the other out-of-state wankers who had to travel more than three hours to get there.
And then, of course, there’s the heat. Bonnaroo is famous for the miserable heat that causes dehydration and heat exhaustion among its patrons. You’ll be sweaty, tired, sunburnt, and slightly dying, but that’s nothing to true fans of music. Just suck it up and drink some water, you pussy. And maybe even hope that R. Kelly actually does piss on his audience (anything for some hydration!). You don’t want to attend Hangout in Alabama, Lollapalooza in Chicago, or and Firefly in Delaware. Sure, the acts are exciting, but The Black Sheep is concerned that these other festivals lack that certain je ne sais quoi that makes Bonnaroo so Bonnaroo-y. Not being in Tennessee severely limits the amount of times we can yell “Go Vols!” while holding up a Power T flag. Or at least limits the responses we’d get to it. Plus, what better place to see college socialites rubbing elbows with the hilliest of billies? Additionally, Bonnaroo has the one and only Wu-Tang Clan, and as we all know, Wu-Tang Clan ain’t nuthin’ ta fuck wit!
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The Grid SPECIAL NIGHT
FRIDAY! March On The Old City; A Benefit for The Birdhouse Featuring The Victor Mourning and Sidecar Symposium
tuesday: Trivia! $2 Domestic Drafts
FRIDAY! Dance Night with DJ Eric B @ Southbound 21+ | 9pm Ladies free, Gents $5 after 11pm
A Tribute To Alice In Chains @ The Bowery 18+ | 8 PM | $5 Adv | $8 Door Dance Night with DJ Eric B @ NV Nightclub 18+ | 9pm | Ladies free, Gents $5
thursday 2/28
The Kicks w/ Young International, 10 p.m. Half-Off Bottles of Wine Until 10pm
$2 Domestic Bottles
Call (865) 414-6050 to set up your private party!
Call (865) 414-6050 to set up your private party!
FRIday 3/1
March On The Old City; A Benefit for The Birdhouse Featuring The Victor Mourning and Sidecar Symposium
$2.50 Blue Moon Drafts
Dance Night with DJ Eric B @ Southbound 21+ | 9pm Ladies free, Gents $5 after 11pm
Presented by Midnight Voyage Productions & WUTK 90.3 The Rock Midnight Voyage LIVE: EOTO | Crizzly | Quiet Entertainer @ NV Nightclub 18+ | 9 PM | $15 Adv | $17 Door
Catch all the Games Here!
Dance Night with Ray Funk @ Southbound 21+ | 9pm Ladies free, Gents $5 after 11pm
Presented by Carleo Entertainment Grind: A Tribute To Alice In Chains @ The Bowery 18+ | 8 PM | $5 Adv | $8 Door Dance Night with DJ Eric B @ NV Nightclub 18+ | 9pm | Ladies free, Gents $5
Call (865) 414-6050 to set up your private party!
Call (865) 414-6050 to set up your private party!
saturday 3/2
Games on the Big Screens All Day!
SATURDAY
sunday 3/3
Charlie Parr, 8 p.m.
$2 Domestic Bottles and Drafts, $5.50 Pitchers and Happy Hour Wells All Day. $0.50 Wings, $3.99 Cheeseburgers and Fries
monday 3/4
Bumper Jacksons, 10 p.m. Half Price Pint Night
$5.50 Domestic Pitchers $0.50 Wings, Pitchers and Happy Hour Wells All Day
Check out carleoentertainment.com for upcoming events!
Check out carleoentertainment.com for upcoming events!
tuesday 3/5
The Wild Feathers, 10 p.m. Half Price Pint Night
Trivia! $2 Domestic Drafts
Call (865) 414-6050 to set up your private party!
Call (865) 414-6050 to set up your private party!
$1.50 PBR Tall Boys
Check out carleoentertainment.com for upcoming events!
Presented by Midnight Voyage Productions & Rapture Productions Midnight Rapture: Excision After-Party with SUBSURGENCE | BOLTACTION | LIQUID METAL | GROOVE TROOP @ NV 18+ | 11 PM | $5 Door
WED. 3/6
Live Team Trivia - 8pm
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The Grid Full Menu served nightly til 1:30am!!
SPECIAL NIGHT
Beer Bust Saturday! Free Drafts $5 Liquor Pitchers 35 cent Wings & Shrimp
Thursday: Large 3 Topping Pizza $11.99 + Tax Happy Hour 3-7pm: 50 cents off any beer; draft or bottle
WEDNESDAY! Half Price Bottles of Wine All Day Until 10PM
College Night Thursday! $5 Pitcher of Beer and Free Buffet till 11 Karaoke Starts at 11 All new $5 Margarita Liquor Pitcher $1 Wells, $2 PBR tallboy Beer Pong Tourney!
Large 3 Topping Pizza $11.99 + Tax Happy Hour 3-7pm: 50 cents off any beer; draft or bottle
Half Off Drafts after 9pm
LIVE MUSIC, TBA! $2.50 Yuengling Drafts
thursday 2/28
FREE BEER! $5 Liquor Pitcher ($3 Add Another Shot) $3 Wells, $3 Apple Pie Moonshine, $3 24oz Natty & Keystone $2 PBR & Highlife Tallboys
Large Supreme or Veggie Supreme Pizza $14.99 + Tax Happy Hour 3-7pm: 50 cents off any beer; draft or bottle
Try any of our 30 craft beers on tap!
Chris Knight with Mic Harrison and Matt Woods, 8 p.m. Drink Specials!
FRIday 3/1
Beer Bust Saturday! Free Drafts $5 Liquor Pitchers 35 cent Wings & Shrimp
Large Meatzaria or Veggie Pizza $12.99 + Tax
Book Your Private Parties Here! 865-525-0004 rumorz@charter.net
Large 2 Topping Pizza $10.99 + Tax
Triva Starts at 8pm Brunch 10:30am - 3pm
Record Night Half Price Food All Day!
sunday 3/3
Book Your Private Parties Here! 865-525-0004 rumorz@charter.net
Large 1 Topping Pizza + Breadsticks $10.99 + Tax Happy Hour 3-7pm: 50 cents off any beer; draft or bottle
Last Monday of Every Month: 5 Course Beer Dinner
Open Mic Comedy, 9pm, FREE! Free queso or salsa with a tab.
monday 3/4
Book Your Private Parties Here! 865-525-0004 rumorz@charter.net
Large Windy City Pizza $11.99 + Tax Happy Hour 3-7pm: 50 cents off any beer; draft or bottle
$2 Drafts
Einstein Simplified Improv Troop 8pm, FREE Mike Snodgrass, 10pm, FREE $5 Burgers
tuesday 3/5
Book Your Private Parties Here! 865-525-0004 rumorz@charter.net
Any Medium Pizza $10.99 + Tax Happy Hour 3-7pm: 50 cents off any beer; draft or bottle
Half Price Bottles of Wine All Day Until 10PM
Ebony Eyes and The Sniff, 10 p.m., FREE $5 Nachos, $5 Dickel Tickles
WED. 3/6
$4 El Jimador Tequila Every Day
Johnny Astro & the Big Bang with
Come in and watch the game on Echoes and Dead Rabbits, 10 p.m. our big screens! Drink Specials!
saturday 3/2
Guess this Dress!
oscar edition
Who were they? That doesn’t matter. What matters is who they wore. From Gucci to Oscar de la Renta, the glamour shone squarely on these lavish gowns. We’re asking you who wore what. The dresses are pictured below, and the answers are at the bottom of the page. Fab-u-lous.
a
B
c
D
E
F
g
H
Salma Hayek Jennifer Lawrence
Olivia Munn Charlize Theron
Kerry Washington Naomi Watts
answer key
A) Halle Berry B) Kerry Washington C) Charlize Theron D) Adele E) Naomi Watts F) Salma Hayek G) Jennifer Lawrence H) Olivia Munn
celebrity bank
Adele Halle Berry
Over a billion people watched the 85th annual Academy Awards, an audience slightly larger than the reach of The Black Sheep. While Ben Affleck will be sleeping off his champagne hangover for the next month, we know the real winners of the evening were the ladies who dressed to impress.
we interview:
Big Gigantic
Dominic Lalli, saxophone extraordinaire of the acclaimed electronic jam band Big Gigantic (otherwise known simply as Big G) has been playing music his whole life. But when his project with drummer Jeremy Salkin started blowing up in the past two years, all he could really say is, "Wow." Other adjectives mentioned: crazy, overwhelming, fucking crazy, wow (again), funny, wild, and crazy (again). Be sure to check these guys out on tour all summer long, at a venue near you. The Black Sheep: How did you get started with the saxophone? With Big Gigantic? Dominc Lalli: I started playing saxophone in school, in band and all that, and then I ended up going to college and getting my master's degree in, pretty much, jazz performance, classical and jazz. I moved to New York and then Colorado, and started getting into DJs and electronic music. I started getting into producing and writing music, and just sitting in with electronic bands, I just naturally wanted to mix in the saxophone. TBS: So when you were listening to this electronic music, what made you think, "I want to put a saxophone with that?" DL: I had been playing music for so long, and the saxophone is kind of just my voice. It's just what I've always done. So I was producing music and then I wanted to start playing melodies, and then I wanted to do some solo stuff and then improvise over it all. TBS: Big Gigantic's sound is clearly a mesh of many different kinds of music. Who are some of your influences? DL: In the jazz world there's a lot of saxophone players, and I've been influenced by their sound and their song writing. You know, John Coltrane, Wayne Shorter, Miles Davis, Herbie Hancock is a huge influence. I've also been influenced by a lot of hiphop and R&B, Kanye West and Jay-Z, and I grew up listening to a lot of Run DMC and Beastie Boys. And all the way through Radiohead and more rock and electronic type of stuff. Then, of course, everyone in the electronic world; Derek from Pretty Lights, my buddy Alex from Paper Diamond, Griz, Skrillex, all of those heavyweights. I'm learning from all of those people, and I'm stirring it all up. TBS: Who would be a dream to work with? DL: Herbie Hancock, he's just an amazing piano player. In the 70s he did really funky, spaced-out music with awesome melodies and really cool solo stuff. We're really into the music he writes, in that funky, electronic vein. If you heard some of his stuff, you could definitely hear his influence. TBS: You guys play a lot of festivals. Could you put a finger on some of the craziest? DL: Electronic Forest is definitely one of my favorites, the fans are pretty wild. Ultra last year was pretty wild, too. But seriously, Electric Forest is, like, how I came up throughout this whole thing. A few years ago, when it first started in 2008, when it was called Rothbury, I was playing saxophone for the guitarist of the String Cheese Incident's side project. I was in such awe, it was one of my first times at a festival and I was like, "Wow, I can't believe I'm really here." I ended up sitting in with all these different kinds of bands; it was really epic. The next year was when Big G just kind of got started, and we played Rothbury for free and I did a DJ set in the forest when it was just some boards set up and it was barely an official stage. I had never DJ'd before and I was so nervous and it was so funny. Then we ended up coming back, and last year we closed Saturday night and it was just great. TBS: How surreal was it, when four years ago you're playing on some janky stage to closing Saturday night on the main stage? DL: It's fucking crazy. It's just crazy! This last year, just every festival we played at, from Wakarusa to Bonnaroo, where we gave out thousands of these blow-up saxophones right before we went out, and just seeing all the fans, like, fist-pumping with these saxophones, it's just crazy shit. I've been playing music for so long and in so many different capacities, it's overwhelming in the best way possible. Just going out there and being like, "Wow." It's been a pretty wild ride. TBS: So how do you stay sane when you're touring and playing show after show? DL: I try to stay pretty focused, and keep in mind what's really real, you know, just what I'm working for. I just try to have fun and play music and stay in the moment and enjoy it, just kind of cruise through. TBS: Michelle Obama -- bangs or no bangs? DL: She seems a little emo with the bangs. It's cute though. TBS: Describe your perfect breakfast. DL: I love breakfast. You know, probably an omelette, cheddar cheese, definitely bacon, maybe some avocado. Some toast, coffee, and a large orange juice. TBS: Drink of choice? DL: Maker's Mark and ginger beer. Or ginger beer with tequila.
the big three
entertainment-y things to keep your eye out for.
21 and Over In Theaters Friday, March 1
Smarty-pants and straitlaced Jeff Chang (Justin Chon) turns 21 the day before a crucial med-school interview. Jeff ends up getting mad drunk with his best friends because, duh, that's just what you do when you turn 21, and a night of "just one quick beer" turns into nakedness, screaming, and all around debauchery. Oops! From the writers of The Hangover, this movie should be at least amusing, if not relatable.
How to Destroy Angels - An Omen Released Tuesday, March 5
In 2009 Trent Rezor decided that Nine Inch Nails should "disappear for a while." Well, like any good addict who thinks they've given up the Perfect Drug, he's found something else in How to Destroy Angels. Fronted by his hot Asian wife, Mariqueen Maandig, similar NIN sounds remain, only, you know, with a hot lead singer. Again, it's NIN sounds with hot Asians involved. We love it long time.
Archer Thursday, March 7 at 10 p.m. EST on FX
In the newest episode of FX's brilliantly subversive show, Archer heads to the Mexican border to take care of a notorious coyote. No, he doesn't want the animal exterminated like a cyborg or crocodile, he needs to take care of a bossy immigrant smuggler. But wait, why not keep a few for housekeeping duties? Maybe if there wasn't an ant problem in the office, Mallory would let them use the break room again.
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theblacksheeponline.com
bartender of the week stehpanie cool beans Reationship Status: In a relationship Favorite Movie: House Bunny Favorite liquor: Four Roses
Favorite Drinking Game: Flip cup Favorite Sports Team: Vanderbilt
Favorite Superhero: Mermaid Man
Dreamjob: Getting paid to go to concerts
Pick up line: “You’ve got a pretty mouth.”
Best part of bartending: Meeting people
Worst night to bartend: New Year’s Eve
Pet Peeve: Bitch drinkers
Best hangover cure: More Jim Beam Favorite Beer: Batch 19
Signature Drink: Stazz Best Night for drink specials: Whisky Wednesday
the drinking game:
recipe for disaster:
It’s that time again to take another classic game from your childhood and rework it into a beautiful piece of art. It’s time for Battleshots. Liam Neeson and Rihanna not included.
Sluts are easy and loved by all, except when they are screwing your significant other. These brownies won’t just bring joyous orgasms to every taste bud in your mouth, they’re also easy to make!
battleshots
What You’ll Need: 2 pizza boxes, 34 shot glasses, and various alcohol. Number of Players: Just two. Level of Intoxication: If your opponent knows the game, prepare to pass out. How to Play: - On each pizza box, draw two 10x10 grids on the inside top and bottom. Label the horizontal side A through J and the vertical side 1 through 10. - Fill all 34 shot glasses with different liquids (get those cheap plastic ones from Walgreens). They could be vodka, beer, rum, water, milk, juice, whatever you have on hand. Obviously fill more of them with alcohol than anything else. - Sit across from your opponent and open up your box. One by one, opponents select shot glasses to use on their board until both players have 17. - Each player arranges them like the ships in Battleship (one 5-shot glass aircraft carrier, one 4-shot glass battleship, one 3-shot glass submarine, one 3-shot glass destroyer, and one 2-shot glass patrol boat). - Players take turns asking if their opponent has a ship at a spot on the grid. For example, “Do you have a ship on E3?” If the player does, they must take the shot that is on that space. If not, the asking player marks on their empty 10x10 grid that they have already guessed that space and must take a sip of a side drink. - Players alternate turns. - If a player guesses a lot correctly, he does not get another turn. The Game Ends When: One player has sunk all of the other player’s ships. This game is best played when wearing cut-off t-shirts and sweatbands. Crank up some Metallica, too.
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slutty brownies
What You’ll Need: 1 package of cookie mix, 1 box of brownie mix, the ingredients those mixes require, 1 package of Double Stuf Oreos, a baking pan, and any additional add-ins you want (like chocolate chips, sprinkles, etc.). Cook Time: Just under an hour. Fatty Factor: You’ll be a big ol’ grenade when you’re done with these sweets. Let’s Get Baked: - Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. - Make the cookie dough mix in a large bowl by following the directions on the back. Make them extra gooey by adding a teaspoon or two of vegetable oil. - Spread the prepared cookie mix evenly across the bottom of your pan. - Line up the Oreos in rows over the cookie dough, covering it completely. Don’t use the cracked Oreos; just eat those gems while baking. - In another large bowl make the brownie mix by following its directions. - Pour the brownie mix evenly over the Oreos. - Bake in the oven for 35-40 minutes, and when it’s finished let it cool. - If you have any, sprinkle your extra ingredients across the top of the brownies. - Slice ‘em up and stuff your face! Sluts are like doorknobs, everyone gets a turn! So make sure you share your brownies, fatty.
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