The Black Sheep
FR EE . fr .. lik om e st all ra th ng e b er oo si n ze y ca o nc u g un ot .
• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
Volume 2, Issue 11 • 4/4/13 - 4/10/13
theblacksheeponline.com @blacksheepUTK
the legend of the big orange Bimbo Baggass wrote this
Once upon a time, in a land not so far away, a young Jimmy Cheek walked along the golden shores of the Tennessee River as he contemplated his freshly-appointed position as Chancellor. He dreamed of the benefits, he dreamed of the six figures, he dreamed of the many insipid emails he’d send to the student population. As he gazed across the beautifully polluted river, he imagined he’d soon own the river himself. He wanted to rule UT. He wanted it all. However, he knew that a southern university with an office full of good ole’ boys would resist his ravenous quest for complete control. He needed the help of a higher power if he would ever achieve his dreams to be King of Tennessee. Little Jim felt in his youthful heart that he could make the world a better place if he called upon the tales of old – the legend of the Big Orange. The legend of the Big Orange goes back to the university’s founding fathers. Upon claiming land for UTK, they came across a tiny orange tree, and decided, for reasons unknown, it would be the sole means of nourishment for them and their families until the university was built. Sure their children cried, and malnourished as a result of eating only citrus fruit, but you know what wasn’t malnourished? Their brains. The tiny orange tree grew into a mighty orange tree, and in its appreciation for not getting chopped down in the university’s construction, produced the biggest orange in the universe. The orange’s magic brought students from far and wide, and helped grow this university into what it is today – much like the founding fathers helped it grow from a tiny orange tree into a mighty, flourishing orange tree. The chant of “Go Big Orange” was included in the school’s early history in order to forever give honor to the great fruit that gave the university life. The Big Orange was reduced to mere legend for the years that followed, but when Peyton Manning prayed for the chance to make it to the SEC championship in ’97, the Big Orange appeared in his bedroom, crushing his bed. Manning loved the orange, and took little pieces of it with him for the duration of the season, granting him the ability to be an amazing athlete. But when he mistakenly left the Big Orange on the bus before playing Nebraska, the fruit felt betrayed. It seemed Peyton felt he no longer needed the Big Orange to succeed, so it shrunk back down to a cutie, along with shrinking Peyton’s chances of winning the National Championship. Again, the Big Orange disappeared into legend… a fresh faced leader Jim Cheek came along and asked for its assistance. Jim would be different, the Big Orange thought,. Maybe this time the fruit would get the recognition it deserved, the student body would finally put a face to their chants, and it could grow back to its original, magical size. Jimmy tried at first to be a man of the people, and placed the orange for all to see at the main entrance of Neyland Stadium. The orange represented
a future of pulp and pure glory with the new reign of Cheek. Jim’s belief in the orange was so strong, the fruit quickly grew to the size of a golf cart. He even nicknamed it “Bo.” Fans and students alike were amazed by the size of the orange, which seemed to grow every time someone believed in its power. The more that people believed in the Big Orange, the greater it grew, and the more the university succeeded in national recognition. Football continued to thrive under the warm, caring gaze of Bo.
night, Cheek took the largest crane he could find from the Henley Street Bridge construction. He drove it up to the stadium and lifted the Big Orange, carrying it all the way up pedestrian walkway until he dropped it on top of the horrendous abstract statue. As Bo was impaled on the swirls and stars of that statue, its pulp covered the walkway and rotted for days. The students used this event to justify their disdain for the statue as well as for their greedy ruler.
Players started to believe in its power. Eric Berry gave a shout out to the Big Orange in his final season at UT, stating “Don’t F*** With the Big Orange.” Manning returned to see his lost friend and wept at the sheer size of its stature; Bo now stood a towering fifty feet high.
Now the students reside in desolation and despair as the campus is demolished and athletics struggle to regain some sort of relevance. We can only hope that Big Orange will come back to deliver its grace onto Butch Jones and restore our school to its deserved grandeur.
Cheek, although grateful to Bo for all it had given the university, did not feel as though people were worshiping him. All of the attention was on the Orange. He would never attain his vast kingdom if the people did not believe in him as much as they did the Big Orange. His pure heart had turned cold and he decided to make a statement. In the middle of the
It is said that whenever Jim gets a little sentimental, he climbs upon the top of Ayers tower to overlook everything the light touches. He cries at what could have been his kingdom, then tosses gold dollar coins over the edge and into the soils of the Hill in hopes that one day a golden orange tree will grow, giving him enough money to buy all of Tennessee.
what'’s inside Spring Broke, or i know what you did in panama city
Top 10: Last Month of School Regrets
or what you didn’t do, like put sunscreen on. oops!
Don’t worry, there’s still time to get drunk and hook up with your neighbor.
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Bartender of the week Gina from The Well doesn’t like to see people abuse alcohol, so finish your beer!
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