The Black Sheep FR
EE
...
Lik e at the th ed e r it ed or & b ial la de ck cis . io
ns
• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
Volume 3, Issue 2 8/23/12 - 8/29/12
theblacksheeponline.com @blacksheep_UGA
Red and Dead: A Modern Day Newsies jess wise wrote this
UGA’s student-run newspaper, The Red & Black, has had some Oscar-worthy drama going on the past few weeks. Over the summer, the newspaper’s board of the newspaper hired several non-student employees, giving them control over the content. Suddenly, the student-run newspaper wasn’t, and Harry Montevideo threatened to transfer all editorial control to non-students. The student editors of The Red & Black were justifiably upset by these developments, and a little over a week ago, they walked out. How very dramatic! Let’s hope they did it in slow motion, because nothing makes an impact like slow-mo (cue Michael Bay). College students love opportunities to combine gossiping and activism, so our campus has been all aflutter ever since that fateful night. Of course, it’s admirable that the staff of The Red & Black fought to uphold its integrity, but there are a few problems with this idea. First of all, morals and journalism go together about as well as Georgia and Florida. It’s a pipe dream, and they might as well let it go now. Second, we should really deduct points for their lack of originality. They’re not the first people who have done this. Injustice in the newspaper business, a ragtag group of misfits standing up to The Man, and a disproportionate amount of publicity? This is the exact same situation as the time-tested Disney classic, Newsies. In Newsies, a young Christian Bale plays a little orphan with a big heart named “Cowboy,” and all he wants to do was pay a fair price for his “papes.” Much like the rag-tag group of orphans that runs The Red & Black, Cowboy and his band of fellow newsies are forced to go on strike after a couple of big wigs attempt to step in and change the entire newsie operation. Essentially, the Newsies do the exact same thing that the staff of The Red & Black has done. Thankfully, both Newsies and The Red & Black fiasco have happy endings. It’s apparent The R&B editors studied this film as a blueprint for success. Want to win a war against the rich and powerful? Sing inspiring songs about seizing the day and being the king of New York (or Athens)! For example:
The Red & Black, we’ll take it back! Our journalistic integrity will never crack! We’ll hunger strike, that’ll show The Man, And save some points on our meal plan!
the art of stealing food
If that doesn’t work, recruit a band of thugs to do your dirty work for you!
Damn your changes, Harry Montevideo, Our university suffers at the hands of your ego! A paper without a staff, that’ll be a real blow, Like a cold-cock punch from a ‘roided-out guido! Or how about the staff forming an unlikely friendship with the President of the United States?
what’s inside
This is how we get the problem solved: We’ll make a call and get Obama involved! Doth the man practice what he preach? Let’s see if he’ll defend our Freedom of Speech! These are the things that made a difference, people! In all seriousness, The Black Sheep stands behind our fellow students. We Bulldogs enjoy national media attention for our prowess on the gridiron, not our sometimes overzealous board members. And although they lacked a young, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed Christian Bale to knick his heels and chirp catchy tunes, the situation at The R&B came to a happy and (somewhat) peaceful resolution... Thank god, how else would we have played Sudoku in class?
The top ten
college, it’s like kindergarten!
how to keep full with your roommate’s grub.
ways to not look like a freshman.
you know, like making friends and licking everything!
page 4
page 5
page 12
contents page 5: Back in the Physicality of Things
Questions? Comments? Compliments? Insults? info@theblacksheeponline.com
page 5
impress the ladies by balancing a pbr on your balls!
page 10: drinking game: bozo buckets
Table of
Garbage cans and booze, so invite the local hobo if you want.
page 11: from the streets
What is the most awkward thing that happened to you in the first week back to school?
page 13: the black sheep interviews
electronic dj & producer dan deacon!
page 15: The crossword
have you messed around with mixed drinks to know these answers?
page 13
editorial • sales • pr marketing • distribution weekly newspapers. daily website. mobile apps. regional and national expansion.
now hiring fall interns
this is some of the stuff we're working on... how 'bout you?
apply online at theblacksheeponline.com email us at jobs@theblacksheeponline.com
page three
Pic
of the
Week!
will the real
mike lewiS please stand up?
Oh, hey, there you are! The Black Sheep would like to apologize for using the wrong picture in last week’s Bartender of the Week interview. Although that guy had an awesome shirt, he’s no Mike Lewis, that’s for sure. Well Mike, we hope you can accept our apology. As a token of our sorrow, look out for a sweet Black Sheep shirt coming your way.
Sexy Anagrams
...and then the conversation just stopped... (Want to be humiliated next week? Awesome.)
Send us your pic of the week at pics@theblacksheeponline.com
Banned Yam As
Mice Tours
Do you know who these hotties are? Send your answers to anagrams@theblacksheeponline.com First five right answers get a prize!
word of the week Dilapidating:
Purposely dating a man or a woman of lesser status, solely for the opportunity to manipulate that person.
“Stacy decided to start dilapidating Snaggletooth Mike because she knew she could turn him into her manservant in no time.”
page 4
theblacksheeponline.com
The Art of Stealing Food wes allen wrote this
Everyone steals their roommates’ food, but few people get away with it. Obviously, the most important aspect of pilfering your roommate’s victuals is that they don’t suspect anything. Nobody wants to deal with being called out for slurping down some GoGurt that they didn’t purchase. No matter how strangely delightful it was at the time, the only thing more awkward than eating Go-Gurt is a conversation about stealing it. We at The Black Sheep have years of college survival training under our belt, with thousands of dollars worth of roommates’ food spilling over it. It takes time and experience in the field of foods snatching to successfully chew under the radar. Trust us, we are not the minority. We are the 99 percent, and we will occupy others’ pantries with our grubby little hands whether they’re stocked with rice cakes or Almond Joys. Heed our expert advice and your stomach will forever be full of your roommate’s food. First things first—get to know the individuals you live with before you begin the assault on his or her food. If your roommates pay their own way through school and are on a tight budget, chances are you won’t want their cheap-ass food anyway. If you start down the path of the poor stealing from the poor, then you’ll be on Bumfights in no time. However, if you live with a roommate who lucked into a lavish existence on Mommy and Daddy’s dime, you’re in luck. Take stock in the amount of goods he brings home from Whole Foods. If it takes more than two trips back and forth from their car to unload said groceries, he bought entirely too much food for one human
to eat. It’s now your responsibility to assist in depleting his expensive bounty, otherwise watch it rot away unappreciated. Timing is absolutely essential when you borrow (albeit with no intention of reimbursing) food from a roommate. We advise you to go the first two weeks of school before diving into that box of Nature Valley Oats and Honey granola bars. Yes, they generate mouth orgasms, but you can’t give yourself up as a food klepto so early in your lease. Can you imagine the horror of surviving until your next paycheck without the help of your roommate’s provisions? That nightmare will become a dark reality if you force him to hoard his quality edibles underneath his bed. At that point, all you can do is cling to memories of better times. Times when the Double Stuf Oreos were a fixture in your kitchen, and the third row was prime for the taking. We regret to inform you, reader, that our advice cannot help you in certain situations. For example, situations when you are dancing-on-tables-drunk or high on pretty much anything. And let’s be real, when you stumble in at 2:30 after a night of Athenian debauchery, you won’t be thinking about our expert advice. Instead, your sole focus will be to gorge yourself on your roommate’s pizza rolls. For all of you one percenters reading this, stealing a roommate’s food is a way of life. In 25 years we will eat the shit out of our
children’s Lunchables. Except for the pizza ones, because they will still taste like cardboard. We have no time for those seeking suggestions on food theft prevention, unless you are preventing your roommate from stealing food back. Please, take our advice and apply it as you wish. Is this great advice? Of course it is. Roommates still like us, and we still like eating their food. How? Because they’re none the wiser.
Pabst Blue Ribbon Always $1.50
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Back In the Physicality of Things Rebecca Jacobs wrote this
An announcement from University of Georgia’s Department of Recreational Sports:
Mount Vesuvi-what?!: Are you frustrated that the gyms’ cycling machines are always broken? Then Mount Vesuviwhat?! is a perfect choice! You’ll always have a seat. No really, you are super glued to your bicycle seat. Instead of riding along pre-programmed hills in the machine, cyclists climb the height of Mount Vesuvius. An active volcano wasn’t just the worry of the ancient Pompeians, it’s your worst nightmare, too! You won’t be covered by lava in the depths of Ramsey, but slow cyclists are drenched in a collected reservoir of jungle juice leftovers. Keep your orifices closed because only the Great God of Vesuvius knows what the ingredients are. Mount Vesuvi-what?! meets at Ramsey on Thursday mornings.
10. Know where you are: Figure out where your classes are ahead of time so you won’t have to walk past Dawson three times holding a map and looking like an idiot. This will also prevent you from looking like a tourist, provided there’s no camera hanging from your neck.
8. Don’t use UGA freebies: Ditch the free lanyard you got when you moved in, and keep your student ID and room key in your pocket or wallet like a normal person. And if you haven’t had the sense to dispose of that heinous “neck wallet” you got at orientation, do so immediately. Burn it with fire. 7. Don’t nerd out on school supplies: A Five Star notebook with MATH 1001 or ENGL 1101 scribbled in Sharpie on the cover will not make you look any older. You should also avoid buying too many school supplies, because this gives the impression that you haven’t been at college long enough to be totally broke.
disturbed. Not Your Mama’s Yoga meets at 4 a.m. daily at Ramsey; all intensities of intoxicated yoga enthusiasts are welcome. Abby Lee Zumba: Zumba is embarrassing enough while attempting to move your hips in physically impossible ways, but Abby Lee amplifies the embarrassment by leading this workout as she leads her televised child dancers: in a cruel, unethical fashion. While she takes exercisers’ mothers in another room to attack their parenting skills, students are led by special guests through various routines. Hugh Hefner leads the bunny hop. Eminem follows the Playboy creator by repeatedly asking the real Slim Shady to please stand up. As people rise, Ludacris pushes students down, telling them to “get back because you don’t know [him] like that.” Have no fear, as Chumbawumba raises spirits to “get up again” each time they’re knocked down. Finishing class, dancers attempt ballet a la Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis in reenacting Black Swan alongside the actresses themselves. Abby Lee Zumba makes Moms’ Weekend even more memorable than the time your mom hooked up with a Georgia version of Friends’ “Naked Guy” in your apartment complex. Abby Lee Zumba meets annually on Showercap eve.
"Downward Douchebag pushes stretchers to fist pump while not returning to an upward position before chugging a can of PBR.”
Not Your Mama’s Yoga: Yoga is a morning staple of freaky early birds, but this version isn’t what you expect. The Vince Dooley starts with back and hamstring stretches, followed by gently caressing each foot. Downward Douchebag pushes stretchers to fist pump while not returning to an upward position before chugging a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon. Condescending Cobra forces yoga fanatics to hold the pose for the duration of a segment of a Maury reunion special. After forty-seven minutes and twenty-three seconds, exercisers will feel rejuvenated and thoroughly
Ways to Not Look Like a Freshman
9. Avoid areas that are strictly populated by freshmen: The SLC is a good place to frequent because members of every grade sleep, study, and have panic attacks there. And for the love of God, don’t go to Bourbon Street with the delusion that somebody will believe you’re an upperclassman. Whether you realize it or not, you look young.
As summer ends, you and your body must make amends. Welcome back to campus, Bulldogs! The Ramsey Student Center (better known by lazy acronym users as The RC) encourages all Bulldogs to participate in our fresh and zany group fitness classes. Were you as disappointed as onlookers at the beach at the sight of your own body in a bikini/Speedo? We figured. Burn off those pounds before the dining halls pile on more weight, limiting your dating pool even more than your hidden collection of Jimmy Buffet shirts already does. There may be more fish in the sea, but there is only so much cellulite your stretch-marked skin can hold. Duck, Duck, Oh F*%#: If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball. That’s what Dodgeball taught the world in 2004, and the idea still holds today. Dodge objects thrown by instructors on the Axe hair gel-coated floor. Deflect the thousands of textbooks local bookstores refuse to buy back, and the millions of syringes used to misdiagnose students at UHC. Move on to dodging bicycles that always seem to crash into students on campus. Scurry away from all the engineering students continuously catapulted at you faster than the speed of light. That’s right, this fitness class is defying physics. Dodge a ball, defy physics, get your ass in shape. Duck, Duck, Oh F*%# meets at Ramsey on Monday evenings.
The Top ten
Unload your boxes and return to the gym! We’ll be waiting for you… *Disclaimer: Ramsey Student Center is not liable for any injuries/damages to the human body, spirit, or self-esteem. We will not reply to outcries from you, your lawyer, or your mommy.
6. Challenge yourself: Drop/add may be over, but consider this tip for your next registration: Take the hardest class you can get into. 4000-level classes contain older students, whom you can observe at a closer level by being their classmate. Sure, your GPA might plummet, but at least you’ll look cool. Maybe an upperclassman will take you under their wing, and you can play out some sort of clichéd Hollywood college movie. 5. Totally destroy your sleeping schedule: Stay up later than usual and make up for it by taking a nap on one of those comfy chairs in the SLC between classes. Being exhausted will give the impression that your classes are overwhelming or you’re too hungover to go to class, which are two sensations upperclassmen frequently experience. 4. If you just rushed, then hush: You know your brand new bid day tank top? The one that’s a dead giveaway you just arrived in Athens? Try not to wear it. We know you love your sorority and your new “SiStErS!~,” but nothing screams “freshman” louder than sauntering around campus in an overly cropped t-shirt that says “YOLO FALL RUSH 2012.” 3. Act like Greek life isn’t all Greek to you: Don’t get overly excited for frat parties. That is, unless, standing awkwardly in a corner swilling Keystone Light really isn’t your thing. 2. Don’t let scruff take over your face: If your high school had a strict dress code, you’ll want to grow out your facial hair until it reaches obnoxious proportions. Resist this urge—not only will it clearly reveal your age, but it will also make you look like an unkempt vagina. 1. Get dirty: Realize that hygiene is not always a priority among older students. “Forget” to take a shower or shave your legs. You won’t look like you’re trying too hard—or at all—which will give the impression that you’ve done this whole college thing before.
Sarra Sedghi wrote this
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MON.
Taco Tuesday! $1 Pulled Pork Tacos 7pm - 10pm 10pm - 2am: $2.75 Drafts Happy Hour 4pm - 7pm
Happy Hour 4pm - 11pm! Koozie Night 11pm - 2am! $1 Tallboys $2 Drinks & Shots
TUES.
10 Wings + A Pitcher of Yuengling or Heineken for only $10! 10pm - 2am: $2 Wells Happy Hour 4pm - 7pm
Happy Hour 4pm - 11pm! After 11: Karaoke with Kenny! $1 Shots, $3 Drinks
WED.
Everyday until 11 pm: $2 Drafts $2 Tequila Shots | $2 Dos Equis $3 Margaritas $3 Tequila Sunrises All Day!
Everyday Until 11 pm: $2 Drafts
Everyday! Happy Hour 4pm - 11pm: $2 Drinks and Shots, $1.50 Bud Light Happy Hour 4pm - 11pm
Ladies Night! 11pm - 2am $2 Speciality Martinis $6 Wine Bottles
Sunday Funday!
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Happy Hour 4pm-9pm Power Hour 9pm-11pm 11pm-Close:
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power hour daily! $1 Drinks & Shots until 11pm
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Power Hour! $1 Drinks & Shots until 11pm
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Happy Hour! 3pm - 9pm $1 Off Everything, $3 Wells $2.50 Well Shots
Happy Hour! 4pm - 9pm $1 off all alcoholic beverages (Except domestic beers, which are 50% off)
$2 Drinks & Shots
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Happy Hour! 3pm - 9pm $1 Off Everything, $3 Wells $2.50 Well Shots
Happy Hour! 4pm - 9pm $1 off all alcoholic beverages (Except domestic beers, which are 50% off)
Ladies Night! $1 Wells
WED.
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page 10
theblacksheeponline.com
bartender of the week Shelby Ray max Major: Cosmetology Hometown: Athens Worst drink ever and how it’s made: Pineapple upside down cake; vanilla vodka, pineapple juice, grenadine What is one animal you would not want to fight?: Probably a hippogriff, they’re so temperamental. What’s your guiltiest pleasure?: I’m just really guilty about all of my pleasures. Team Edward or Jacob?: Jacob. I take that seriously. Who deserves Badass of the Year award?: He’s going to hate me for saying this, but Dutch. Dutch! He’s the senior bartender here.
the drinking game
bozo buckets Mitch Hedberg once joked that people who hand out flyers are basically saying, “Here, you throw this away.” Any college student that has experienced the first walk through campus can verify that 100% of the flyers they get are eventually thrown in the trash. Here’s a way to dispose of those pointless flyers that’s more fun than recycling! Imagine that! What You’ll Need: Five garbage cans, booze, beer and shot glasses. Number of Players: As many that will agree to part with all that pointless paper. So, everyone. Level of Intoxication: Expect a nice soupy concoction of puke and flyers in your trash cans. Let’s Get Sloppy: - Label your garbage cans with numbers 1 through 5 and line them up in a row. - Each number refers to a different task and goes as follows: 1. Go run: You must chug a beer while jogging in place. 2. You’ll spew: Take two shots. Yes, in a row. 3. Take a knee: You must get down on one knee as someone distance pours a shot in your mouth for three seconds. 4. Hit the floor: You must lay down on your back and shotgun a beer. 5. Barely alive: Take a shot, chug a beer for five seconds. - Assign a starting point line so everyone throws from the same distance. Take that random pledge who needs to be put in his place and make him lay down on the floor perhaps? - Alternate taking turns throwing your crunched-up flyers into the buckets. Whichever bucket your flyer lands in, you must do the task that corresponds to the bucket. The Game Ends When: You run out of flyers and are actually considering snagging more.
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Whom would you want to play a game of poker with?: The devil, Hermione Granger (even though she would whoop my ass at poker), and Chunk from The Goonies.
What’s something you wouldn’t mind getting arrested for?: Protesting Chick-fil-A!
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever done behind a bar?: I’ve done weirder things behind other bars. One time I asked Dutch to hide my Nook.
Who was the creepiest person you ever had to serve?: This guy that came in, he’s like 65, and he was screaming Jim Morrison quotes. He was not right in the head. He kept saying ‘love me, love me, listen to me, do you love me?!” He grabbed my hand and kissed it and wouldn’t let go and I had to snatch it away. Then he stuck his tongue out at me and we kicked him out. And this was in the middle of the day.
What piece of clothing do you wish you never had to wear?: Socks. What make-believe thing are you glad doesn’t actually exist?: Probably the Tooth Fairy. That’s a creepy thing. She comes in your room at night when you’re sleep and go under your pillow. Why do you want my teeth?
What kind of beer do you think God drinks?: Dos Equis.
If you could live inside of any board game, what would it be?: Chess, I like the pieces. I would be the knight.
Recipe for Disaster
every-meal burger You’re back at school with a stocked fridge (courtesy of your parents) and then you realize, “Crap, my cooking style is analogous to an armless Helen Keller.” You don’t want to be in there for too long because you will either start a fire or chop a finger off, so you decide to eat all your meals at once. Hence the “Every-Meal Burger.” What You’ll Need: Frozen waffles, syrup, a hamburger patty, lettuce and ice cream. Cook Time: Twenty minutos. Fatty Factor: You might have to go to the hospital for a clogged artery or two. Let’s Get Baked: - Grab your burger meat and grill that sucker on a skillet or grill. - While that’s cooking, pop some waffles in the toaster. - Lather your hot waffles with a thin layer of syrup. - Lay a piece of lettuce down. - Add a scoop of ice cream on top of your lettuce. - Place the burger on the ice cream and sandwich it in with another scoop of ice cream. - Place another piece of lettuce down. - Put your waffles together and prepare to experience a mouthgasm. Your taste buds are going to go into a state of shock at first because of all the different flavors hitting them at once. After that stage is over, you’ll either experience extreme satisfaction or explosive diarrhea. Bon appétit!
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From the Streets
[PartyPics]
Got a question you want us to ask? FTS@theblacksheeponline.com
What is the most awkward thing that happened to you in the first week back to school? “I’m allergic to chocolate. I had some weird milkshake thing that apparently had chocolate in it. In my classroom that has only 10 people in it I had to go running out with my hand over my mouth so I wouldn’t vomit in front of everyone.” - Kelsey D., 4th Year
“I went to a class on Friday that I had just added. I sat down and they began talking about something that seemed completely unrelated to the class I was supposed to be in, so I left. OASIS said I had the classroom number right. I went back today and apparently I just didn’t stay long enough on Friday.” - Sarah C., 4th Year
“I went into my band class and they started having auditions. I didn’t know that we were supposed to have prepared for auditions so I had to do it without preparing. Then I found out it wasn’t my band class.” - Landon B., 3rd Year
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page 12
theblacksheeponline.com
College: It’s Just Like Kindergarten! mitch wrote this Hey there, class of 2016. I know college can be a frightening thing. You’re probably walking into college expecting it to be all titties and booze. Well, I hate to be the guy to break it to you, but it’s mostly B-cups and bad beer. But it’s alright, don’t freak out, The Black Sheep has your back. College might seem new and scary, but it’s really just kindergarten all over again. We’ll break this down nice and easy and explain it to you like you’re five, which is the biggest number you could count to then, and the only number you’ll need to count to for the rest of your life. Don’t believe me? Good. You’ve already remembered your first kindergarten lesson: Don’t listen to strangers: This is the—oh, wait, hang on... “Hi, I’m Mitch, I like animal crackers and I dabble in S&M. It’s nice to meet you.” There, now we’re friends and we can talk! Let’s play blocks together while you blindly follow my life advice! Like I said, you need to know the dangers of strangers. People will take advantage of you in college. They’ll trick you out of your apple juice, get you to do chores for free, and sit next to the cute girl with the Pokémon backpack even though you totally called dibs. Don’t let people prey on you. Make lots of friends: Much like the first days of kindergarten, making new best friends is essential to college life. But instead of letting you share blocks, college friends let you share drinks, girls, and whatever the combination of drinks and girls may lead to. I’m such good friends with one guy, he let me pay half of his drinking ticket! What a pal! Another one of my friends even used my girlfriend to show me some
awesome make-out techniques! Hot! You’ll need friends like that for when your supposed best friend borrows your Super Mario pencil and never gives it back, and you need to get enough people together for a group glare. Otherwise, how will your problems get resolved? Name calling is key: Remember how you used to call people poopheads? Why’d you ever stop doing that? That girl Melissa cried for like 10 minutes, but she never stole an animal cracker from you again! Just like kindergarten, stabbing kids with a pair of scissors is a big no-no. In college, however, instead of sitting in the corner, you get stabbed back in prison. When the going gets tough, the tough call other kids dookiefaces. Lick EVERYTHING: Think about all those tasty spots on the railing, all of those gum flavors under your chair, all of the pee you would have missed out on tasting if you hadn’t licked everything in sight as a kindergartener. Now, think about how many new lickworthy things there are at college. New people, new drinks, new barrels of experimental drugs you find under your roommate’s bed— they’re all at the tip of your tongue. Everything you could ever dreamed of is right in front of you, all you have to do is stick your mouth muscle out and taste it.
Once you’ve figured out what was good to lick and what wasn’t, you’re probably going to be pretty sick. That’s where the most important similarity truly comes to light: you can always go crying to your mommy. When the real world gets tough, just flee from it, back into the arms of the person who made you. It was adorable when you were a little kid, and she’ll miss you so much now it’ll be adorable again. And remember to always get money from her. And don’t tell any hot people about it.
. M ! S E C I H P T Y T E R T A A P H R R YOU O S U M D E N E H S T E . LEOTVEMBARASSED OR BECOME INFAMOUS PICS@THEBLACKTSHHROEUEGPHOONULRINWEE.CBSOITME! G P OR P A R U O IA V & . D E K M O A .C N E N T I L E N G O P R E E O H , THEBLACKS LAUGH,CRY (WAIT, WHAT?)
the interview
Dan Deacon
Ask someone what they first think of when Baltimore comes to mind, and often the response will be one of two things: Crime or The Wire. Well, there’s also Dan Deacon, people. Part of the vibrant Wham City Collective, Deacon’s brand of music is as weird as it is catchy. His latest album, America, drops August 27th. Be patriotic and cop that shit. By: Brendan The Black Sheep: I’m not as interested in how you started playing music, but when did it hit you that this is something you wanted to do for a living? Dan Deacon: Actually, I think the “this is it” moment came in three parts. When I was young and I first heard the trombone, I knew at that moment I was really interested in music. The second step toward my life in music occurred when I first started using MIDI files (Editor’s Note: these are used in making music on a computer.), it showed me how much one could actually toy with sounds, and those sounds became music. It wasn’t until my first tour that I was sure that this was what I wanted to do for a living. I wrapped up a tour and realized that I got paid a little bit of money to play music in parts of the world I didn’t think I was going to see. TBS: Your live shows are notoriously awesome. Do you plan ahead for them, or is it all spontaneous? Dan: When I’m playing a live show, a lot of what happens really is playing off the crowd’s energy. I’ll try to introduce one or two new ideas on each tour, but a lot of what happens are spontaneous reactions to the crowd’s energy. Like, if the crowd is going crazy, I’m having a great time up there. If the crowd doesn’t seem like it’s having a good time, I take it in one of two directions, either I’ll try harder to try to win them over, or it’ll be like, “fuck ‘em, I’m doing this anyway.” TBS: So what’s it like playing in front of a crowd that’s not into it? Dan: Oh, I mean, that rarely happens. I’d say nine out of ten times the crowd is really into it. I mean, really, I can’t even remember the last time I played a show and the crowd wasn’t having a good time. Even then, when I say, “fuck ‘em,” it’s more, “I’m going to put on the best show I can, regardless of what they may think about it.” TBS: Over the past few years electronic music has really came on the scene, though it’s music that’s very different from the stuff that you do. Does that excite you? Make you wary? Dan: I’ll just be happy when it’s not considered electronic music anymore. I may not be really into a lot of what people consider electronic music, but I’m really interested in the way artists are able to create sounds that we’ve never seen in music before. Even more than that, many “electronic” musicians add non-electronic elements to their music. What I don’t want to see is us going backward- music that sounds like music that was popular in the eighties and the nineties. TBS: When you started to introduce elements like strings into your music again, was that difficult? Was there a learning curve? Dan: Well, when I started working with acoustic instruments again, it was challenging. I was rusty, having not used them in so long. Creating music isn’t like riding a bike—you don’t just pick it back up right away; it’s like speaking a language, if you don’t practice regularly, then you lose those skills. When I picked up some of the compositions that I had written when I was in college I was sitting there wondering how I had put them together back then. TBS: What the fuck is “Crystal Cat” about? Dan: [Laughs] I’ve never heard anyone ask that before. Well, on “Crystal Cat” I took the instrumental part of the song and I just started making nonsense noises that fit with how the song was progressing. After that, I worked on turning those noises into words, which fit with the music. TBS: Watermelon or cantaloupe? Dan: I guess it would depend on the situation that I’m in, but nine times out of ten I’m going to choose the watermelon. TBS: If you could have any mythical creature as a pet, what animal would you choose? Dan: A dragon. TBS: What is one thing you want to see or do before you die? Dan: I’m not sure. Nothing.
the big three
entertainment-y things we’re all excited about.
hit and run - in theaters Friday, august 24
Real-life couple Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell play an onscreen couple who escape their terrible small town life and head on a road trip. Naturally the road trip gets complicated, by the likes of an angry old friend (Bradley Cooper), a federal marshal (Tom Arnold) and other hooligans.
Here comes honey boo boo - tlc Wednesdays @ 10pm (est)
Alana aka Honey Boo Boo, the hillbilly breakout star of Toddlers & Tiaras, stars in this endlessly entertaining and honest reality show about the everyday life of her and her family. This week, the group decorates for their annual Christmas in July celebration, but the festivities get cut short when 17-year-old sister Anna (aka Chickadee) starts having contractions. Hee-haw!
Dan Deacon - America Out august 28
Baltimore native and electronic DJ Dan Deacon’s latest album America is a hodge-podge of freakish sounds, and we love every bit of it. Don’t look to Deacon to drop any trendy bass drops or do any ironic sampling, just some good old fashioned original producing that will definitely keep your attention. Oh hey, and read our interview with him!
the classtime
messing with mixies crossword
Across
3) This dessert may get you falling. 5) UTI cure, sort of? 8) Bubbly Vitamin C. 9) A biblical reference. 10) Poor man’s mimosa. 11) Shaken, not stirred. 14) An odd mixture and a college staple. 16) A tool we all should have. 18) A borough of New York. 19) Readers of this magazine probably also enjoy these. 20) A punch with vino. 21) Very European, very trippy.
6) A drink for The Dude. 7) Very muddled. 10) A fairly legitimate meal. 12) Drink this then shout “Slainte!” 13) Fun, but sandy. 15) If you like this, and getting caught in the rain. 17) Lindsay Lohan’s birthplace, and probably drink of choice.
Down
1) Ichi... ni... san! 2) Katrina, that bitch. 4) It’s not Taco Tuesday without these.
Answers
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campus director Brendan Bonham owner Atish Doshi Founders Atish Doshi, Brendan Bonham, Heather Jo Erickson, Jimmy DeBlasio, Jessica Sommers, Ethan Cunningham, Ali Misner Questions? info@theblacksheeponline.com Advertising? ads@theblacksheeponline.com Hate Us? lame@theblacksheeponline.com
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