The Black Sheep
Fr e on e... th like e s th tr e ee co t t uc his he tim s y e o ou f y fin ea d r.
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Volume 2, Issue 6 4/18/13 - 5/1/13
summer survival
Oliver Cross wrote this
As the academic year winds down it’s necessary to begin planning your summer. If you are an actual person, you’ve known what you’re going to do since February. If you are like me, you have absolutely no clue and are frantically searching for at least semi-gainful employment. Either way, the vast expanse of time that is your summer away from school is brimming with opportunities. You could get a job and earn some money for next semester; Natty doesn’t buy itself. You could take a couple classes and squirrel away some extra credits to make life a little less depressing fourth year. You could travel and see the world, or watch Travel Channel and eat Fritos until you become Adam Richman. The choices are endless.
going to get one, but let’s imagine for a second that that isn’t true. Internships are great for resume building and networking, and sometimes offer a point of entry for a field you’re interested in. The only real downside is that most internships are unpaid. That is not a typo. You will lose money at your internship after accounting for commuting and meals. They’ll tell you that experience is its own reward or whatever. They are lying to you. Money is a reward. Experience is experience. There is a reason that the cashier at Bodo’s threw a steaming cup of BoJoe on me when I tried to pay for my bagel with “experience.” When you’re eating free thin soup for the thirteenth meal in a row next semester, you’ll be wishing you had experienced a salary.
Having an enjoyable summer vacation is pretty hard to screw up. The easiest way to manage this, however, is picking a shitty summer job. Sure, folding khakis at the Gap for 15 hours a day sounds manageable to you now, especially after cramming for that stats exam last week, but try and imagine what your mindset will be in a month. The last thing anyone wants to do during the summer is work harder than they did all year, and taking a lousy time-evaporating job is the surest way to guarantee you will non-sarcastically pine for that 9 a.m. psych lab.
Assuming your desire for indentured servitude, uh, internships, has soured, what are you left with? You could always recertify as a lifeguard and continue living your twelve year old self’s dream job while living for free with your parents back home. That wouldn’t be so bad; a little money in your pocket, some cancer in your skin, and an increasing appreciation for the miracle of chlorinated water could do you some good. If that doesn’t appeal to you, you could stick around Charlottesville and get some shifts at Coupe’s while you take a summer class or two. The only downside there is that you might be a little lonely with everyone gone, but there’ll be plenty of townies on the railroad tracks willing to share a 40 if you get too lonely.
So, now that menial retail jobs are out of the picture, what about an internship? If you don’t have one by now, you probably aren’t
If you see a horse, you’re doing it wrong Just get dressed up and party, that’s it!
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If your financial security is relatively stable, you could try and convince your parents that travelling all summer is worth their investment. If you can swing it, this is a pretty enviable way to spend your summer. You’ll come back to school with a ton of cool stories and pretentious knowledge, thereby making you a conversational Hakeem Olajuwon. Everyone will be dying to hear what Amsterdam is really like and you’ll be happy to tell them all about it. Eventually though, your act will wear thin. Pretty soon your friends will notice that your Norwegian paramour’s name has
what'’s inside
changed from Becky to Catherine to Svetlana and the potency of the edibles you tried has increased exponentially. Unless you’re confident that your embellishments will remain consistent, be wary of sharing your “awesome, life-changing” experiences. With an open mind and a can-do attitude, you can turn any situation into the summer of your dreams. With that out of the way, we’re done. There’s a Man Vs. Food marathon starting and I’m almost out of Fritos.
Top 10: Ways to freak out a tour group
It’s Fwhinals Time
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These prospective students need a healthy dose of reasonable doubt.
Ohhhh are you having a haaard time???