The Black Sheep
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Vol. 5, Issue 6
The College Newspaper That's Actually About College
9/26/13 - 10/2/13
are you getting ramfished? BY: Joseph Miller We’ve all been there — sitting in front of Shafer, alleviating the nausea while casually people-watching, when you spot the most gorgeous student you’ve ever seen walking across the Compass, and begin to drool. And because it’s 2013 and no person has the social ability to say hi to one another, you’ve probably planned your wedding by the time they reach Starbucks. But luckily for us at VCU, we’ve adapted a way to let that special student know, anonymously, you’re gushing emotions for them. VCU Crush, the prominent Twitter handle, has been helping stalkers get one stalk closer to their prey since February. Students feel renowned and aroused when they are featured in a tweet by VCU Crush; they retweet and gush over the fact that somewhere in this world, they are thought of as flat out gorgeous, if only by an anonymous tweeter. While those of us fortunate enough to be represented on the “Hot List” of VCU (that only people on the Hot List know about), we tend to take these shout-outs as compliments and think no further. But who is the face behind the masked figure posting such obsessed comments? We’ve all seen the movie-made-television show Catfish. MTV allowed Nev Schulman to film his expert stalker dexterities and help young men and women track down their hopefully not-so-anonymous lovers. But most of the time, the end results turn out to be a failure, and instead of a 6 foot, 8-packed model, the Catfisher turns out to be a lonely engineering major, cooped up in Brandt Hall and stroking his… ego. So, who is actually submitting names to VCU Crush? When you receive a tweet written about yourself, claiming that you can “get it anytime,” you most likely think it’s that hottie from the Nao and Zen line you saw yesterday evening. But in reality not TV, but actual reality these students may just wanna get you stabbed. Stabbed with a knife. Now let’s pretend you’ve found your secret admirer, inevitably Facebook stalk them, message them in a completely non-threatening way, and eventually decide to meet. You’ll fantasize all day about your debonair counterpart, making this the best date of your life. But let’s do the math — this blossomed from an anonymous tweet, at a university with over thirty thousand students, transforming into an online relationship, no doubt tailored to your interests, and finally perusing a “meet and greet.” In reality, this person will probably not be who you’re looking for. It’ll be awkward, you’ll find out why all his or her Facebook pictures are taken from an angle, and you’ll have to do an awkward hug/ handshake deal at the end. VCU Crush has become an entertaining phenomenon on our college campus, but acting upon these tweets would be embarrassing and potentially harmful. No one wants a sob story about online dating, and you don’t want to be humiliated afterwards. Well, unless you’re into being humiliated. Keep it light, and let the anonymous love affairs stay in your late night daydreams.
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Step Tectonics: Fall Block 2013
Top 10: Substitues for the pumpkin spice latte
Indigo and the Folks Talks the Illuminati
The year little girls in ladybug costumes owned everyone.
try to Cure your PSL addiction with a $5 footlong.
We chat with the local band who can’t decide between 40s and cases.
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