The Black Sheep
FR EE ... “c like on th cer at t” ho in me th le e p ss ar gu k. y’s
• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
theblacksheeponline.com @blacksheep_vcu
Volume 4, Issue 7 • 3/7/13 - 3/13/13
The Black Sheep’s Guide to
Staying Motivated for the Rest of the Semester Olivia Walthall wrote this And we all collectively sighed It’s only March… spring break has just abruptly broken up with us and we’re not entirely sure why, but it blows. With almost two months left of exams and professors we love, hate, and love to hate, there is a looming feeling of “sweet Jesus, this just really sucks” mixed with procrastination and the weird smell of sweat in the air. The Black Sheep knows the feeling, we’ve been there many times. The anticipation of summer, no classes for three months, being able to get skin cancer tan again, drinking by the James; it all seems so close, yet so very far away. “So…how exactly am I supposed to make it through this seventh-level-of-hell-that-is-half-a-semester?” you ask. Luckily for you, The Black Sheep is constantly working to find our own motivation to keep writing, seeking ads, PR-ing, groupie-ing, moisturizing, etc. Safe to say, we have some pretty good advice. Advice that’s so good, a therapist would charge you out the ass for it (like $30 an hour, or whatever). Our first piece of advice is to start small; think of goals that are so ridiculously achievable that you could do them no matter how pathetically lazy you’re feeling. For example, “Drink at least one glass of water for every three PBRs today” or “At least try to bribe someone into giving you notes from class instead of going.” We encourage you to stretch these tiny-ass goals a little bit every week. Within the next month, you should be going to class to browse the Internet during lecture and make fun of the professor’s lisp. It’s all baby steps. Next, we advise you to keep track of yourself, just a little bit. Like, if you know you have an exam Friday that you’ve devoted an astounding thirty minutes to studying for, binge drinking at a house show isn’t the best idea for you on Thursday night at midnight. You should also strive to keep track of your cleanliness. For example, showering twice a week isn’t that great for you. It’s a widespread joke around campus that VCU kids have a similar aesthetic to the homeless population that surrounds the perimeter of our campus. Don’t be that guy, don’t fulfill that stereotype, dammit. DON’T YOU SEE HOW THEY MOCK US?! It hurts! Spring break was a great excuse to abstain from showering, but come on… we can
SWipes for the Food Cart Because VCU students shouldn’t have to pay to combine fancy food and the ambiance of a gutter.
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smell you from this far away. (Ed. note: Your stank transcends both time and space.) Finally, before you get too caught up in all of our awesome life-changing advice, we would like to be very informal with you when we say this: remember to have a bit of fun, too. Don’t get us wrong, you need to get your shit together, but look at it like this -- at least one person you know is graduating soon. We don’t know if you realize the gravity of this situation. They have to become an adult and get a grown-up
what'’s inside
Father Nature: Women Murdered Chivalry
job. Essentially, they are about to descend into a nightmare that rivals the ninth level of Hades and you should enjoy them while they still have some of their sanity, and while they aren’t in bed by 10 p.m. At least try to study kind of hard and make grades good enough so your parents can still pretend to be proud of you. Unless you’re a Dean’s List student, in which case we encourage you to follow the words of notorious stoner, new father, and overrated rapper Wiz Khalifa: Work hard, play hard.
The Taylor Swift Effect And Other Pop Culture Phenomena
CHICKS, are we right?
Maybe it’s time you take control of your guilty pleasure addictions.
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