The Black Sheep Fre
e... l ret ike t urn he f ing eel bac ing k t you o s ge cho t u ol.. pon .
• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
Volume 4, Issue 1 1/12/12 - 1/26/12
theblacksheeponline.com
What's Wrong With Being a
WASTERN BRONCO?
dana borzea wrote this
There’s this little, I don’t know what you’d call it—a thing, a meta-satire, a parody of a parody—that came out right at the tail end of last semester, The White Goat. Published by the Office of Heath Promotion and Education, the thing purportedly exists to “show students that being drunk isn’t cool.” In an interview with the Herald, those kind writers said, “The White Goat is a parody on the pro-drinking messages in the newspaper The Black Sheep.” In it, The White Goat did an article on the derogatory, reputation-ruining nickname that our fine institute has, “Wastern.” They ramble on about how terrible the nickname is, negative effects of excessive drinking and literally asks the reader, “Why would anyone want to go to Wastern?” How about a dozen or so reasons? For all of you students, instructors, university employees, Herald stickin-the-muds, and for anyone else reading this, I want you all to pay attention very carefully. Western Michigan University was ranked one of the nation’s top 100 public universities by U.S. News & World Report and one of the best Midwestern colleges by The Princeton Review. The university offers 140 undergraduate programs; second most of any university in Michigan We received the Cartwright award for its academics, athletics and citizenship. The American Association of Colleges for Teacher Education consistently ranks WMU among the nation’s top 10% producers of professional educators. Newsweek listed us as one of the top 25 gay-friendly universities in the nation. Military Times’ Edge Magazine said we’re
Other stuff
Inside
Michigan’s top-ranked school for outreach and service to Veterans. With all of those amazing achievements, plus many more, it’s obvious that we’re kind of a big deal. There are a few more achievements behind every Bronco’s belt…our success in the art of everlasting keg stands, consecutive beer pong championship wins, and the ability function properly on three hours of sleep. And the hits just keep coming. In a past article with Rolling Stone, a writer actually commented on the Bronco’s party scene. He said, “Western Michigan University has never been on our list of top party schools because everyone who parties there ends up forgetting what the fuck happened to them right before.” Broncos, pat yourselves on the back for that one. So, if Western is such an honored and respected school, why the hell is it such a problem that we’re known for our partying as well? I think most students
Getting Rid of the Christmas Crap Don't cry, it's only an ugly sweater! see page 4
will agree with me when I say that it just proves we can multi-task. We’re in college; it’s unrealistic to think we’re not going to rage. Broncos can have fun, but we get our shit done too. Just because it’s not as difficult to get into Western as it is other universities doesn’t make us a bunch of dumbasses who don’t give a shit about an education. Personally, the second I stepped foot on Western’s campus, I knew this was exactly where I wanted to spend the best years of my life. The people here are more laid back, they’re not annoyingly die-hard about sports, people work hard and party harder and you feel a sense of community here. I know I’m starting to sound all warm and loving and blah blah blah, but seriously, at Western you’re not just another number, you’re a Bronco. So, The White Goat, why wouldn’t anyone want to go to Wastern?
New Years Resolutions
Our 2012 Predictions a lot less of deena and a lot more human interaction.
looks like john cusack won't be saving us after all.
see page 7
see page 12