Volume 3, Issue 5 | 10/27/11 - 11/08/11 | theblacksheeponline.com
What Your Halloween Costume Says About You
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The
Black Sheep
“A College Newspaper That’s Actually About College” Andrea Walker wrote this As college students we’ve all put more thought into wondering what we will be for Halloween than we have our midterms. You definitely want to get laid, but you don’t want to look like you’re the creep or the slut that’s trying too hard to get some. You’re seeking a stylish way to attempt avoiding frostbite, but you’ve worked out enough that you want to show some skin. I’ve always been told that who you hang out with says a lot about what type of person you are, but I’ve also been told you are what you wear. Well, they’re both true, you must choose your Halloween costume very wisely people, lest ye be judged. I’ve conducted in-depth research to discover the personality traits inherent in the owners of specific costumes: Color-Coordinated Underwear and Animal Ears: I have no imagination whatsoever, but I do have a big rack. Look at me, look at me! Sexy Nerd Costume for Women: I’m setting myself apart from the animal-eared girls by making fun of them. I’m totally not doing the same thing by trying to be a sexualized version of what I think men are into.
Other stuff
Inside
Cheap Beer or Beer Pong Table Costume: The best year of my life was spent in the Valleys. This one time I totally skunked these bros in pong and they had to streak. Totally hilarious, dude. Guinness Bottle: I’m classier than the cheap beer guys, which is why I bought the same costume with a different label. I don’t know what you’ll notice first when I walk in, my top hitting the doorframe or my 30-rack of Natty Ice. Inflatable Costume: I didn’t think about how I’m going to go to the bathroom when I bought this, but I’ve played a lot of Edward Forty-hands so I’m sure I can be resourceful. Guy Dressed Like a Hipster to Make Fun of Hipsters: I don’t listen to Animal Collective because it’s too hip. I listen to other stuff, but you’ve probably never heard of it... Cosplay: I can’t afford Comicon. Would you like to talk to my body pillow?
04: Top 10 Perks to Halloween Weekend.
Super Hero: I’m “immune” to everything tonight; liquor, punches, you name it. You’ll probably have to push my bruised body off of the toilet bowl. You’ll have trouble giving the EMT my name seeing as I’ve been hiding my “secret identity” all night. Couples Costume: We feel compelled to shove our happiness in your face. If anyone of the opposite sex talks to either of us, prepare to be missing part of an ear Mike Tyson style! Any Costume that Alludes to Genitalia: I often lie awake alone at night wondering why my parents are so disappointed in me. I mean, I make good life decisions. Like, no one else in this room is dressed like a vagina, so I’m totally unique. Get it? Got it? Good. Whatever you decide to be, have fun and be safe, Kalamazoo! As for the flesh you see ambling around, don’t waste time asking if they are cold. They’ve been pre-gaming all day and are clothed in a cloak of invisible Burnett’s.
07: Ladies, Please Don’t Bring Sexy Back What do you mean “Sexy Pedophile” isn’t a legitimate Halloween costume?
13: the Morning After Halloween Just because the tricks and treats are over, doesn’t mean the fun and games are.