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Volume 3, Issue 7 | 11/30/11 - 12/13/11 | theblacksheeponline.com

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Black A Bronco’s Guide to Sheep Skipping Class

The

“A College Newspaper That’s Actually About College”

lulu lemon wrote this We all pay a pretty penny to attend glorious Western Michigan University. Does that stop any of us from skipping those horrid, expensive classes that we complain so much about? Nope. It gets to be real rough trying to get out of our warm, cozy beds to face the cold in order to make it to class. Add peer pressure on top of that and skipping class is, 9 out of 10 times, the result. If your roommates or friends are skipping, you’re going to skip too. Don’t deny it. In order to pass your classes, you will need to perfect the art of skipping. Get good enough and you’ll be able to skip class and still pass. For those grasshoppers that haven’t snatched the stone out of my hand yet, here’s a guide to becoming the master of skipping: • Classes you can skip include lectures so dreadfully terrible that you fall asleep in them (I claim no responsibility if your dumb ass fails for deciding to skip too many classes). If you sit on your ass browsing Facebook the entire time, don’t go. For classes like these, skip an occasional class here or there. • Know that there’s usually a catch with the lectures that are on E-Learning. You may think you don’t have to

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Inside

go to class, but most professors give random attendance points if you’re actually in class. If you’re taking a class like this, go! • One of the best tools to have in a class is a friend, especially a smart one. If you don’t already know anyone in your class, look around and try to find someone who’s paying attention. If they are, make friends and exchange numbers. This person will be your personal savior. When you want to skip, shoot them a quick text asking if you missed anything. You’ll be golden. • The day after an exam is one of the best days to skip class. Take full advantage of those days as much as possible. • It doesn’t matter if it’s snowing, hailing, or Katrinaing, your professor is getting to class and you need to also. Professors don’t consider being cold (or any weather-related problem) as an excused absence. So buy some snow boots and a parka, and get your ass to class so your grade doesn’t get screwed. • Do not skip classes required for you major. As you attempt to pay off your overwhelming student debt, these are the classes that will teach you the skills needed to score your dream job. If you really feel the hankering to skip, and the class has notes on E-learning, then you

04: Season's Drinkings!

How to keep your nightlife hot and fresh during this holiday season.

can, every once in a while. This means special occasions, like day drinking or a Law and Order SVU marathon. • Do not skip foreign language classes. Whether it’s Spanish, French, German, Pig Latin or Gibberish, you’ll need to know how to pluralize a gerund when you’re abroad. They’re fast paced classes not taught in English. Even if you scored the in-class genius, notes won’t make sense, and you won’t understand the material on the day of your return; the class has moved forward while you skipped just for the hell of it. We’re all paying for school and are told to go to class. However, it’s up to you whether to finish off your semester physically in class or cozied up in bed. Although attending class is half the battle, don’t forget to stay awake in class and study from time to time. Otherwise, you might as well not go at all. And use the buddysystem as motivation when possible. If you have a friend who tags along with you to school functions so you can score an extra credit point here and there, keep themthey’re awesome! When they ask you to go to a seminar on woman gender roles and their opinion on prostitution legalization, remember that they’re awesome friends and go with them. Misery loves company.

05: Awkward Moments: Sharing a Bathroom Or, how to avoid finding our your roommate has a high-fiber diet.

15: The riddle

we seriously don't think you can solve this one, it's that good!

Meet The Staff!

Table of

contents

04: How to Order Delivery You're doing it wrong, yes, because you're drunk.

Managing Editor Dana Borzea

Distribution Manager Chase Olender

Advertising Manager David Zolp

pr team David Zolp

Contributing Writers Vanessa Leiner Kelly Weatherwax Kyle Kivett Hannah Weyer Katie Batt Mike O. Mitch Barnett Andrea Walker Cody Kimball Lulu Lemon Samuel Howard

campus director Brendan Bonham Founders Atish Doshi Brendan Bonham Questions?

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12: Movie Review The Muppets made us feel fuzzy again.

Pg6: The Mid-Semester Slump: 13: The Black Sheep InterYou're almost to finals, just views: O’Brother one more push. These prog rockers are pretty much like family now. 07: From the Streets If you could go back in time 14: Bartender of the Week and hook up with any hisThis girl really likes cars... torical figure, who would it be and why? 14: Recipe for Disaster: Big Mac & Cheese 8-11: the bar grid Don’t worry ladies, it won’t Where's live music? Where's go straight to your thighs. cheap drinks? Where's cheap food? Where are all your 14: Drinking Game: Hipster friends? We have all the Spotter answer... Well, this game doesn’t sound too hard.

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Word of the week Preprosperous:

Czar Shank Em

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Definition: The generally broke nature of a college student. “Yeah, I’m gonna make so much bank when I grow up, but I’m drinking Colt 45 because I’m really preprosperous right now.”

Season’s Drinkings! Sam Howard wrote this

With the holidays rolling around it’s finally okay to watch Elf 73 times in a row, eat food besides ramen noodles, and go hard at holiday-themed parties! When searching for a party, it is always a good idea to look for the most unique and choose accordingly, because if worse comes to worst there’s always an ugly sweater party you can hit up. So, here are some creative and nontraditional party ideas to attract those eggnog drinkers! Redneck Holiday Party Before all of you hairy No-Shave November participants shave your face for the mustache parties, consider a different take on the season for getting wasted. Nothing says, “season’s greetings” like business in the back, party in the front. Mullets are always in style, especially for the holidays. Ladies, feel free to get in on all of this hot mullet action. For the dames we also recommend a subtle “Santa’s Sleigh Ride” tattoo right in the center of your lower back that can be shown off by your sweet velvet and white shag Santa jacket; which, by the way, is just a tiny bit too short to cover your special edition Dollar Store snowflake g-string. Yes indeedy! Add an old couch on the front yard and rock that flannel to add extra oomph to it all. There are already visions of Busch Light aluminum cans dancing in your head. Secret Wal-Mart Santa Party Forget to get your gift for the party? No problem! Just run to Wal-Mart on your way to the shindig! Don’t worry, like Jerry Sandusky, “Jesus Loves All the Little Children,” especially the kids in China making your last minute shopping needs. The secret Wal-Mart Santa party is great for all procrastinators of the season. Similar to a white elephant party, you can get

any nonsense item that Wal-Mart carries and trade gifts with your friends, and because you decided to shop early, the $2 waffle maker you purchased is gonna make you the belle of the ball. Double up party themes with a Redneck Christmas Party, there’s no doubt you’ll be able to get all the Jim Beam you’ve ever wished for. Old Folks’ Home Holiday Party Head down to your nearest thrift store and get a little crazy. Buy pants that are two sizes too big, and don’t worry about having to buy another sweater, you can use the one you got for your ugly sweater party. Let’s be honest, who else wears them? Gather ‘round the television set with your friends and set the old folks’ home mood. Watch It’s a Wonderful Life while you eat tapioca pudding and complain about “all them young whippersnappers running around on a night like tonight with the bitter weather out there.” This type of party virtually sells itself, I mean, who wouldn’t want to eat green bean casserole and drink Vernor’s until the break of eight o’clock? Butter Floor Holiday Party “Seriously! Butter on the fucking floor!” Yes, the YouTube video. Why not celebrate the joy of watching your unaware tipsy friends trying not to fall on their ass when they try to steal your food for drunchies? If you want to make it even better, place the mistletoe above the buttered floor and watch these couples get buck-wild right before your eyes. When paired with the old folks’ home Christmas party, you can even pretend to break a hip. So, now you have some options to make your celebrations even brighter! Go out there and drink all of the peppermint schnapps you can and have a smashing (and smashed) good time!

How To Correctly Order A Delivery Mitch Barnett wrote this What do most college kids love to do on Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights? We all know: they like to party. But what do I do with my Saturday nights? I spend them working. I work at one of the places that stays open until 3 a.m. and delivers all night. Every Sunday morning I get to work at 5 p.m. and don’t leave until 4 a.m. I’m that guy that you say, “it’d suck to be him” as I drop off your food and continue working, while you continue raging. Every Saturday drunk kids come into the store and ask me the same questions. “Do you like working this shift?” or “can I have something for free?” Of course I love working this shift, and sure, take anything you want. Get real. And please for the love of God don’t ask delivery drivers for a ride home. The toughest interaction between the drunk customer and the person working a shitty job to pay rent is the order. It’s always impossible to understand drunk kids on the phone. If you don’t want all of us order takers of the world to just start shanking people, here are some rules to abide by when ordering on the phone: When the worker answers the phone, don’t just blurt out your order. Just say, “hello” and wait for instructions. There’s no quicker way to get a 2-minute “on hold” time out like pretending that your order is far more important than everyone else’s. If ordering for a group, pick the one who is most sober to call. This way, who ever is taking your order can actually understand what you’re saying. Don’t get pissed at us when your pizza is screwed up, we weren’t sure what “palazzoni” is. The first thing any in-shop worker will ask you for is your address. It amazes me that some people don’t know their own address. Do you attend Central? I want to get you your food, bro. I really do, I want the tip, I just really need to know what building your “4S” apartment is in. The last step is ordering. Personally, I think the best way to order is one item at a time. Don’t call and say, “yea, I’d like two number fives, one with tomatoes the other with out, one with onions, the other with mustard.” This just gets confusing. Remember, whoever

is taking the order has to write everything you say down, so it takes a second. Once your order is complete, you’ll get a total and an estimated time of arrival; and remember, don’t forget to tip your driver. Twenty percent is usually nice. Keep in mind, they have to pay for their own gas. Lastly, if you’re out of the delivery range, you’re out of the delivery range. If you hang up and call back to try and order again, nothing will have magically happened in those 20 seconds to allow us to deliver to you. Also, nobody is giving you anything for half off just because you ask. You can’t get chips or bread half off no matter how hard you try. Please keep these things in mind when you order your food. Your friendly neighborhood “that guy who it sucks to be,” over and out.

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Awkward Moments: Sharing a Bathroom Katie Batt wrote this When we move away from home we give up one amazing thing, our own bathroom; the one room that offers eternal comfort. When we wake up in the morning we can’t wait to rest on that beautiful porcelain rim and then move to that pearly cubicle to let that warm water rush over our bodies. Sadly, once you move to college you don’t get to share with your siblings or keep your own bathroom. You have to sacrifice that comfort and share your most private space with a complete stranger. I think most people agree, they dread the prospect of walking in on someone in the bathroom, whether that person is peeing, pooping, lathering, or just jackin’ it. Whatever the case, you’ll walk in on someone in the bathroom at least once while you’re sharing with them. Either they’ll be naked or sitting on the toilet trying to enjoy a little “me time.” Here’s a few ways to overcome the awkwardness of the situation, because you won’t see one another the same way ever again.

disgusting to awesome. It’s much easier to tell your friends about the time you walked in on Dave dropping a deuce when the story ends with you also covering him in vomit.

Getting walked in on: • If you’re the naked one, say a witty remark. For example, “You’ve seen mine, now how about you show me yours.” It’s a game of genital chicken you’ll hopefully win. • If you’re on the toilet, turn to them and warn them of the Chernobyl they just walked in on. Tell them, “You might want to run...this is going to be a bad one.” Then make a show of opening the window and readying the air freshener. • Avoid them for the next week. Never speak of this to anyone, especially not to each other. • Start crying, a lot. At some point that’ll become more awkward than the potential for a lot of genital-viewing. SudWalking in on someone: denly, they’re not embarrassed, they’re ashamed, and that • Pretend you didn’t notice they were in there. Don’t do means they’ll be more careful next time they just barge in what you were originally planning on doing (shriek and make on you taking a dump. an awkward face) but instead walk in and grab something • Be, like, cool about it. “Hey bro, do you need to go real of yours or wash your hands and walk out. Never make eye bad? I mean, I can be done in a minute.” Your overt nicecontact, never admit that you saw them in there. ness puts the ball in your court, even if your balls are mere • If the person is naked, compliment them. If it’s a boy, inches from poopy water. make it humorous! Why not tell him that he’s got a nice rack? If it’s a girl try saying, “Wow, I told them you were too Whether we like it or not, this is one awkward situation that classy for tan lines!” • Walk out and avoid them for the next week. Never speak really can’t be avoided. Even if you make it a habit to knock on the door when you go to the bathroom, you’re still not 100% of this to anyone, especially not to each other. safe. There will be at least one time when you have to rush in. • Start laughing. It’s a brilliant way to disarm the situation, Never fear, your scars will heal one day. You can always come up and it works every time. It’s like saying, “hey, I can be cool with more creative ways to make an awkward situation bearabout this if you can, dude.” Totally works with cheating able. Have a good time with it. Remember, stay awkward my significant others as well. friends. • Throw up everywhere. At least the story goes from mildly

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The Mid-Semester Slump Kyle Kivett wrote this

Around this time of year things at Western get a little funky. It’s no longer summer and the colored leaves aren’t all that impressive anymore – everything is just…blah. The same goes for school. That determination you had at the beginning faded after midterms and now you just want these damn classes to be over with. This time of year is the Mid-Semester Slump. Never heard of it? Well that’s because I just made it up, which I can do, since I have my doctorate in bullshit. But seriously, take a look at yourself and decide if the MSS has gotten the best of you. (I knew you’d keep reading…) During the summer, it’s so damn easy to stay in shape. With everyone going to the pools, it’s impossible not to feel self-conscious 24/7 and as a result, you work out more. Well, things are a little different these days. Sweaters are in season and tank tops are officially obnoxious to look at. Because of this, you’ve let yourself go. It’s okay – admitting it to yourself is the first step. I fell off the working-out-wagon about a month ago. That drive I once had to be the sexiest guy at the pool was no longer there and as a result, I gained some major lbs. What about school? Personally, I know that I’m completely fucking over both the classes I’m in because I just haven’t been “into it.” You get your shit done, but mentally you’re just not there. I’m sure many of you can relate. Since I've already checked out, I’m mixing up my assignments and class times. So, now you’re fat and failing classes—what else to do but what Broncos do best and party right? I don’t know about you, but I’ve wanted to go out more than ever these days. When I feel like everything is annoying, a nice drunken night is the perfect fix. During the MSS, you’ll

notice that the bars are completely packed by people just like you; Weight Watchers candidates that don’t give two flying fucks about school. So, now that we’ve all realized how much we’re sucking at life these days, it’s about that time to change things up a bit. How much can you really lie about when you go home for Thanksgiving? “Yeah Grandma, I’m going to be on the Dean’s list!” Exactly. The first thing you need to do is open up that planner again. Yes, that free little book you got at Bronco Bash is still somewhere in that backpack of yours. After opening the planner, go back a few pages and see how motivated you were just a short time ago. It’s always nice to laugh at the amount of pointless shit you write down at the beginning of each semester. Now that you’ve seen your potential again, start writing things down. It really does keep you organized and as a result it’ll pull it you further out of the slump. As for working out, give yourself some time to adjust to school again before trying to be a gorilla juicehead at the gym. When you’re ready though, I have some fantastic motivation for you: the night before Thanksgiving. Last week was my first at the hometown watering hole, and I seriously saw everyone I had went to high school with, and their brother. It was awful. Regardless of whether you want to see these people or not, you still want to look better than those damn Chips. So, work out now (no, really- go running after you put this down), and then strut your stuff to the locals you love and hate. Then reward your hard efforts with a shit-ton of food on Christmas. There’s always spring for getting in shape (again.)

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The Bar Grid SPECIAL NIGHT

Happy Hour 3-7 $2 Domestic Pints, $3 Micro Brew Pints, $2.50 Wells, $6.99 ENDLESS Pasta Bowls Beer of the Month: Founders Pale Ale: $3 Pints and $4 Mugs DOWNLOAD Grotto's new Android App! (Apple Coming Soon)

THURS, 12/01

Buy 1, Get 1 FREE Sandwiches, Burgers, and Wraps $2.50 Domestic Tall Domestics (7-10pm) $2.50 Wells and Bud/Bud Lt Bottles $3 SoCo Lime Shots

FRI, 12/02

$5 Appetizers $1 Rolling Rock Pints/PBR Bottles, $2 Corona Bottles, $4 Long Island/Beach $3 Washing Apple Shots

FRIDAY: 19 and Up Night! $1 Domestic Drafts $2 House Shots Progressive Wells from 8-12 Starting at $1.50 $1 Rolling Rock Cans Starting at Midnight

$1 PBR Pints ($2 in your mug if you're a mug club member) for all Detroit HOME games! $2.50 Tall Boys for ALL Detroit games (Miller Lt., Bud & Bud Lt., & PBR) STUDY HALL Daily 3-6 $1 PBR, $2.50 Well & Call Drinks New Fall 2011 TAPAS Menu: Everything $3 or Less!

Pitcher Night $6.25+ Mixed Drink Pitchers $5.50 Domestic Beer Pitchers $2 Waldo's Shots (bartenders choice) $1 Burgers

19 and Up Night! $1 Domestic Drafts $2 House Shots

Combat Corduroy Live 9p-1a All Day Happy Hour (12PM - Close) $2.50 Wells and Calls $4.95 All You Can Eat Pizza (12PM - 3PM)

½ Off All food and Drinks Noon-Midnight

Rob MaCinnis Live! $4 All Bombs, $4 Shot AND a Beer (well shot & domestic bottle) $10 Pizza AND Beer (large 1 topping & domestic pitcher) $1 Off All Bottles (6PM - Close)

SUN, 12/04

GROTTOHOLIC Discount Day (33% Off ANY Regular Priced Food/ Drink Item) Free Capone Sticks w/ Deep Dish Pizza Purchase $3 Wells, $5 Domestic Pitchers $7 Bells and Blue Moon Pitchers (3PM-1AM)

$3 Bloody Marys $2 Domestic 22oz Drafts $2 House Shots

Open for special events only. Call to find out what counts!

MON, 12/05

GROTTOHOLIC Discount Day (33% Off ANY Regular Priced Food/Drink Item) $4 Deluxe Burger Baskets $1 PBR Pints (Open-1am) $2 Domestic Bottles, $3 Managers Choice Shots (9pm-1am)

$2.50 22oz Budweiser and Bud Light $2 House Shots

$2 for 2 tacos 3-11pm $2.50 All BELL’S Beer $3.00 Long Island, Long Beach, Blue Island

TUES, 12/06

45 CENT WINGS (9 Delicious Flavors To Choose From) $3 ANYTHING 9-1am

$0.50 Drafts Live Music featuring Tim Pallin and Jeremy Sprague

“W” Club night (3PM - Close) Members Only, Ask About Joining! $3 Domestic Liters, $5 Specialty Liters & $5 Wings TEAM TRIVIA 8pm PK Passport Night: 1/2 Off Startup, $1 Off Bottles, $5 Wings

WED, 12/07

GROTTOHOLIC Discount Day (33% Off ANY Regular Priced Food/Drink Item) Half Off ANY Pizza LIVE Team Trivia @ 8pm (1st Place $30, 2nd $20, 3rd $10) $3 Tall Miller Lites 8-1am $3 ALL Pints and Bacardi/Smirnoff Flavors 9-1am

$2.50 22oz Miller Lite $2.75 Wells, $2 House Shots $1 Tacos & Karaoke Bags Tournament w/ Ca$h Prize

Waldo's Vodka Night (6-Close) $3 Shots & Drinks, $5 Martinis 1/2 Off Food for WMU and K College STAFF FREE POOL Starworld Dart League

SAT, 12/03

Large 1 Topping Pizza, 2 Salads, and 2 Pints $20 $2.50 U CALL IT 3pm-1am

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The Bar Grid THURS/SAT: 9 to Close Half-Price Drinks EVERY NIGHT After 10pmReg Stix w/Dill $2.50, Chzy Stix w/dill $3.50

NFL Sunday Ticket $12 Buckets of Beer Build Your Own Bloody Mary Bar $3.99 Build Your Own Burger

FRIDAY Live Bands - DJ Mix $4 Big PBR Cans $4 John Dalys

1-2-3 Tuesdays $1 Wells 8-10pm, $2 Wells 10-12 $3 Wells 12-2 1/2 Off All Apps 7-11

SPECIAL NIGHT

LADIES NIGHT HALF-PRICE DRINKS

Canadian Nights $3 Labatt and Molson $6.50 Medium Pizza

Monster Thursday $3 Wells $3.50 Coronas 18+ Allowed!

Ladies Night! Happy Hour and Sushi Bar 6-9pm $5.99 Martinis (Open - 12) $3 U Call Its $6.75 Man-tinis

THURS, 12/01

9 - Close $2.00 U CALL IT on Pints and Single Liquor Drinks $3 Bilbo & Domestic Quarts, $5 Double Premiums

Draft Night! $1 Domestic Pints $1.50 Leinie Pints $4.99 3 Shot Martinis Dance Club Open

Live Bands - DJ Mix $4 Big PBR Cans $4 John Dalys

$1 All Domestic Pints $3 You-Call-It $6.75 Mantini's (Open to 12)

FRI, 12/02

After 9pm: HALF-PRICE DRINKS

ESPN College Football Package $2.50 Pints of Bud Light and Miller Lt. 12-8 $3 U Call Its 9-1am

Party Night! $3.50 Featured Domestic Bottles $4 Sex on the Beach

$.50 Rolling Rock Drafts $1.50 Well Drinks

SAT, 12/03

Evening: $2 Well Drinks; $4 Double Wells

NFL Sunday Ticket $12 Buckets of Beer Build Your Own Bloody Mary Bar $3.99 Build Your Own Burger

Closed

1/2 Off ALL Food and Drink with WMU ID card or SIN card

SUN, 12/04

$2.25 Bilbo & Domestic Pints $3.00 Premium Pints, $3.25 Super Premium Pints; ($2 well drinks, $4.00 double wells)? Service Industry- 1/2 Price on everything- Bring your pay stub

$3.25 25oz Domestic Mugs $3.75 Premium and Specialty Mugs 35 cent Wings 50 cent Boneless Wings NFL Package

Closed

$5 Man-Tini $5 1 Item Pizzas $3 Domestic Mugs

MON, 12/05

$3 Quarts Bilbo & Domestic $4 Premiums Qts. $4.25 Super Prem Qts. $3.75 Long Islands

Service Industry Night! 1/2 Off! $6.50 Medium Pizza

Closed

1-2-3 Tuesdays $1 Wells 8-10pm, $2 Wells 10-12 $3 Wells 12-2 1/2 Off All Apps 7-11

TUES, 12/06

$2.25 Bilbo & Domestic Pints $3 Premium Pts, $3.25 Super Prem Pts. $2.00 well drinks $4.00 double wells

College Night at Wayside $0.50 drafts, $1.25 wells DJ Kane and DJ AC Dance Club Open!

Closed

$2 Drafts and Pints (Open - 12) $12 Martini Sampler

WED, 12/07

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The Bar Grid SPECIAL NIGHT

Happy Hour 3-7 $2 Domestic Pints, $3 Micro Brew Pints, $2.50 Wells, $6.99 ENDLESS Pasta Bowls RED ALERT!!! $3 Tall Miller Lite & Labatts for ALL Red Wings Games DOWNLOAD our new Android App! (Apple coming soon)

TUESDAY: $0.50 Drafts Live Music featuring Tim Pallin and Jeremy Sprague

THURS, 12/08

Buy 1, Get 1 FREE Sandwiches, Burgers, and Wraps $2.50 Domestic Tall Domestics (7-10pm) $2.50 Wells and Bud/Bud Lt Bottles $3 SoCo Lime Shots

Progressive Wells from 8-12 Starting at $1.50

Pitcher Night $6.25+ Mixed Drink Pitchers $5.50 Domestic Beer Pitchers $2 Waldo's Shots $1 Burgers

FRI, 12/09

$5 Appetizers $1 Rolling Rock Pints/PBR Bottles, $2 Corona Bottles, $4 Long Island/Beach $3 Washing Apple Shots

SAT, 12/10

Large 1 Topping Pizza, 2 Salads, and 2 Pints $20 $2.50 U CALL IT 3pm-1am

$1 Rolling Rock Cans Starting at Midnight

$1 Domestic Drafts $2 House Shots

½ Off All food and Drinks Noon-Midnight

Lucas Pederson Live 9-1 All Day Happy Hour (12PM - Close) $2.50 Wells and Calls $4.95 All You Can Eat Pizza (12PM - 3PM) Foresman Live 9-1 $4 All Bombs $4 Shot AND a Beer

(well shot & domestic bottle)

$10 Pizza AND Beer

(large 1 topping & domestic pitcher)

$1 Off All Bottles (6PM - Close)

SUN, 12/11

GROTTOHOLIC Discount Day (33% Off ANY Regular Priced Food/ Drink Item) Free Capone Sticks w/ Deep Dish Pizza Purchase $3 Wells, $5 Domestic Pitchers $7 Bells and Blue Moon Pitchers (3PM-1AM)

$3 Bloody Marys $2 Domestic 22oz Drafts $2 House Shots

Open for special events only. Call to find out what counts!

MON, 12/12

GROTTOHOLIC Discount Day (33% Off ANY Regular Priced Food/Drink Item) $4 Deluxe Burger Baskets $1 PBR Pints (Open-1am) $2 Domestic Bottles, $3 Managers Choice Shots (9pm-1am)

$2.50 22oz Budweiser and Bud Light $2 House Shots

$2 for 2 tacos 3-11pm $2.50 All BELL’S Beer $3.00 Long Island, Long Beach, Blue Island

TUES, 12/13

45 CENT WINGS (9 Delicious Flavors To Choose From) $3 ANYTHING 9-1am

$0.50 Drafts Live Music featuring Tim Pallin and Jeremy Sprague

“W” Club night (3PM - Close) Members Only, Ask About Joining! $3 Domestic Liters, $5 Specialty Liters & $5 Wings TEAM TRIVIA 8pm PK Passport Night: 1/2 Off Startup, $1 Off Bottles, $5 Wings

WED, 12/14

$2.50 22oz Miller Lite $2.75 Wells, $2 House Shots $1 Tacos & Karaoke Bags Tournament w/ Ca$h Prize

Waldo's Vodka Night (6-Close) $3 Shots & Drinks $5 Martinis 1/2 Off Food for WMU and K College STAFF FREE POOL

@Black_Sheep_WMU All your friends are doing it

The Bar Grid THURS/SAT: 9 to Close Half-Price Drinks EVERY NIGHT After 10pmReg Stix w/Dill $2.50, Chzy Stix w/dill $3.50

WEDNESDAY: College Night at Wayside $0.50 drafts, $1.25 wells DJ Kane and DJ AC Dance Club Open!

FRIDAY Live Bands - DJ Mix $4 Big PBR Cans $4 John Dalys

1-2-3 Tuesdays $1 Wells 8-10pm, $2 Wells 10-12 $3 Wells 12-2 1/2 Off All Apps 7-11

SPECIAL NIGHT

LADIES NIGHT HALF-PRICE DRINKS

Canadian Nights $3 Labatt and Molson $6.50 Medium Pizza

Monster Thursday $3 Wells $3.50 Coronas 18+ Allowed!

Ladies Night! Happy Hour and Sushi Bar 6-9pm $5.99 Martinis (Open - 12) $3 U Call Its $6.75 Man-tinis

THURS, 12/08

9 - Close $2.00 U CALL IT on Pints and Single Liquor Drinks $3 Bilbo & Domestic Quarts, $5 Double Premiums

Draft Night! $1 Domestic Pints $1.50 Leinie Pints $4.99 3 Shot Martinis Dance Club Open

Live Bands - DJ Mix $4 Big PBR Cans $4 John Dalys

$1 All Domestic Pints $3 You-Call-It $6.75 Martinis (Open to 12)

FRI, 12/09

After 9pm: HALF-PRICE DRINKS

ESPN College Football Package $2.50 Pints of Bud Light and Miller Lt. 12-8 $3 U Call Its 9-1am

Party Night! $3.50 Featured Domestic Bottles $4 Sex on the Beach

$.50 Rolling Rock Drafts $1.50 Well Drinks

SAT, 12/10

Evening: $2 Well Drinks; $4 Double Wells

NFL Sunday Ticket $12 Buckets of Beer Build Your Own Bloody Mary Bar $3.99 Build Your Own Burger

Closed

1/2 Off ALL Food and Drink with WMU ID card or SIN card

SUN, 12/11

$2.25 Bilbo & Domestic Pints $3.00 Premium Pints, $3.25 Super Premium Pints; ($2 well drinks, $4.00 double wells)? Service Industry- 1/2 Price on everything- Bring your pay stub

$3.25 25oz Domestic Mugs $3.75 Premium and Specialty Mugs 35 cent Wings 50 cent Boneless Wings NFL Package

Closed

$5 Man-Tini $5 1 Item Pizzas $3 Domestic Mugs

MON, 12/12

$3 Quarts Bilbo & Domestic $4 Premiums Qts. $4.25 Super Prem Qts. $3.75 Long Islands

Service Industry Night! 1/2 Off! $6.50 Medium Pizza

Closed

1-2-3 Tuesdays $1 Wells 8-10pm, $2 Wells 10-12 $3 Wells 12-2 1/2 Off All Apps 7-11

TUES, 12/13

$2.25 Bilbo & Domestic Pints $3 Premium Pts, $3.25 Super Prem Pts. $2.00 well drinks $4.00 double wells

College Night at Wayside $0.50 drafts, $1.25 wells DJ Kane and DJ AC Dance Club Open!

Closed

$2 Drafts and Pints (Open - 12) $12 Martini Sampler

WED, 12/14

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the movie page Based on the Trailer

The Muppets benson saw this and gave it a...

Director:

James Bobin

The Sitter

Dec. 9

Starring: Jonah Hill, Sam Rockwell, Ari Graynor What You Need to Know: A college dropout (Hill) becomes a babysitter to make some quick cash… probably for fast food. He takes his three little ones on an urban adventure to meet up with his ex-girlfriend, who promised sex in exchange for drugs….and probably some chalupas. What We Think: Jonah Hill being rude to kids in the pursuit of drugs? Sounds good enough for us! Here’s to hoping it’s a little less predictable than it probably is, but we’d still like to see Method Man (who co-stars) smoking a blunt. And Jonah Hill huffing and puffing while he’s running from the cops!

young adult

Dec. 9

Starring: Charlize Theron, Patton Oswalt, Patrick Wilson What You Need to Know: A teen-lit writer (Theron) returns to her small, crappy hometown to relive her glory days and reclaim her high-school sweetheart (Wilson) who is, like, married with kids. Obviously that’s hard to do (legalities and what not), so she spends most of her time at the bar with a former classmate (Oswalt) and becomes besties. What We Think: Whoa, wait. We’re suppose to believe Charlize Theron is a “young adult?” Come on, young adults don’t look 36 and are waaay less accomplished. Right? No? Oh shit. Well, whatever, with Diablo Cody (Juno) penning the screenplay, this film looks awesome.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

Dec. 16

Starring: Robert Downey, Jr., Jude Law, Rachel McAdams What You Need to Know: World famous detective Sherlock Holmes (Downey, Jr.) is trying to solve another crime, this time involving the Crown Prince of Austria who he believes was murdered, because why on Earth would you kill yourself if you’re a prince!? Somehow he meets up with Watson (Law) at a gentlemen’s club for “research,” where things start to get real crazy. What We Think: With all the damn accents and sexy actors, we’re not really sure if we can keep up with it all. Save this one for when it’s on dad’s tab and you get a nice Applebee’s salad afterwards.

Starring:

Jason Siegel, Amy Adams, The Muppets, of course...

Synopsis:

Maybe this world isn’t so awful after all! In a world that’s obsessed with cynicism and doubt, it’s good to have The Muppets around. It’s a strange world we live in when the words of a banjo playing frog puppet hold more water than any poet or any person holding public office. But therein lies the genius of The Muppets: Sometimes imagination is more important than the world in front of you. There are lessons to be learned from watching the news, and there are also lessons to be learned from a purely optimistic frog that some bearded man thought up one day. For anyone who’s seen The Muppets Movie (1979), there is no need to explain the genius of The Muppets’ optimism. The Muppets (2011), a film written by and starring Jason Siegel, an avid fan of puppetry (just watch Forgetting Sarah Marshall), succeeds admirably in maintaining this spirit. Accompanied by fantastic, original compositions by Flight of The Concords’ Bret McKenzie, the story and writing of The Muppets remains true to the 1979 film, and brings new life and depth to Jim Henson’s characters. The Muppets follows the story of two brothers, Gary (Jason Siegel) and Walter, a new addition to the Muppets’ universe. Grown up on The Muppets’ television show, Walter accompanies Gary and his

on DVD

girlfriend Mary (Amy Adams) on an anniversary trip to Hollywood to check out the old Muppet theater. Unfortunately, times have been tough on the Muppet gang, and the theater has been reduced to filth. After overhearing plans to destroy the old theater to make way for an oil drilling operation, Walter notifies the big man himself, Kermit, and a plan is hatched to gather up the old Muppet gang to put on one last show to save the theater. The Muppets is laced with hilariously clever gags and meta jokes. For any fan of the clever comedy stylings of Pixar, The Muppets carries this creativity and stands as one of the funniest Disney/Pixar movies out there. As expected, there are a lot of jokes aimed at the children in the audience, but like any good Disney movie, there are plenty of jokes to make the adults laugh which mostly go over the kids’ heads. There are several references to the old Muppets movie and TV show, and there also many funny allusions to the 70s and old Muppets celebrity guest stars. One of the coolest things about The Muppets is the abundance of celebrity cameos throughout the film. Jack Black, Donald Glover, Neil Patrick Harris, Sarah Silverman, Zach Galifianakis, John Krasin-

ski, and several other old and new faces make appearances as small roles throughout the movie. There are almost too many to mention. It’s heartwarming to see all of these big names doing such small parts to be a part of the Muppets world and add to the fun of The Muppets. The real star of this film, though, is Bret McKenzie. His catchy tunes add much of the color and joy of The Muppets. These songs would really make Jim Henson proud, and sound just as good as if Henson wrote them himself. Needless to say, there are no “Rainbow Connection”s, but who can blame the guy? McKenzie took on the near impossible task of providing music to one of the most musically iconic franchises in film history and does an impressive job in capturing the magic of past Muppet songs. It is easy to see just how invested Siegel was when writing the script for The Muppets. Each of Henson’s creations are treated with respect and admiration, and the vision and philosophy of the original Muppets movie is held completely intact. Whether you are a lifelong fan or a new appreciator of The Muppets, The Muppets (2011) will enchant you with its unwavering optimism and lighthearted philosophy on life and friendship.

puppet trivia!

answers are a few from here

november 29: The Smurfs Friends with Benefits Tucker & Dale vs. Evil One Day 30 Rock: Season 5 december 6: The Help The Hangover II Mr. Popper's Penguins Cowboys & Aliens The Debt

This was the name of the musical Peter writes in Forgetting Sarah Marshall...

The Bride of Chucky was the ___ movie in the franchise?

Team America was actually inspired by this 60s British marionette show...

This was the name of the star of Gremlins...

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O’Brother’s Tanner Merritt

the interview

Like Georgia-based rock bands before them, O’Brother rocks on with their own unique sound. Where Of Montreal sounds like…um…Of Montreal and Manchester Orchestra sounds like Manchester Orchestra, O’Brother only sounds like itself. Frontman Tanner Merritt chatted with us as we hoped to find out a little bit about what that sound’s actually like. The Black Sheep: Can you fill readers in as to how O’Brother started? Tanner Merritt: O’Brother was a band that started in 2005 as the drummer and the brothers, who had played together forever. The lead singer left, Aaron and I joined and we started anew from there. TBS: The internet calls you a prog rock band. What is prog rock to you? TANNER: Growing up I always thought as prog rock as Rush or Yes or TOOL. I guess it’s kinda branched out and now encompasses several more things. Now I think it’s anyone in rock and roll who tries to push the envelope. TBS: How do you guys do that? TANNER: I feel like everything’s been done, so now it’s just a matter of pushing yourself. None of us are like these super-talented musicians that can just shred, so we focus on making a bunch of different noises until something great comes out of it. TBS: Following that string, what are some things you’d like to do that you haven’t been able to do? TANNER: I think that yeah, there’s been things we haven’t been able to do because of money. It’s not so much musically we’ve been unable to do things as it is working with a producer or at a studio. TBS: Your new album, Garden Window, comes off as a labor of love. How long did it take to execute on that? TANNER: A couple of the songs were a few years old when we started recording. Everything

CD REVIEW

Out Now

Gorillaz

The Singles Collection 2001-2011 These party animals latest compilation is all good.

It seems hard to believe that Gorillaz, the part hip-hop, part alternative, part cartoonish UK group, have been around for ten years. Don’t we all recall the first time we heard “Clint Eastwood” on the radio when we were 10 and distinctly remembering it being awesome? Though pretty much anyone can agree on a handful of great Gorillaz songs, it’s the songs that we didn’t know these geniuses created that remind you of how much cooler they are than you. But these animated hominidae aren’t here to be pretentious and make you feel out of the loop, so they released a compilation of their best from the past decade so you can get caught up. From first track to last, it’s like these guys picked every awesome song you never knew about and some that you did, threw it on an album and started laughing. For starters, songs like “Tomorrow Comes Today,” and “19-2000,” are perfect examples of songs we’ve all heard before —probably one too many times in a commercial or used as samples in hip-hop songs—but may have never been able to put our finger on the artist. The album starts off stellar with the happy, boppy beats that make Gorillaz a group that anyone can enjoy. Er, I mean, totally fucking rock out, too. You know your grandma wouldn’t be able to resist bobbing her head to them. The album is sprinkled with classics like “DARE” and “Feel Good Inc” that give the crowd at your party a loud, universal burst of “Oooohh!” as every-

A+

one relishes in the familiarity. The album, nearly in chronological order, starts the b-side with awesome tunes from Plastic Beach, 2010’s undeniable hit album. “Stylo” featuring Mos Def has got to be one of the best, but the 80s-esque electronic sound of “On Melancholy Hill” doesn’t disappoint, either. The album finishes off with a few remixes, including a particularly good “19-2000 Soulchild Remix” that rounds out the album perfectly – who wouldn’t want to jam to that song once more? This compilation has got to be one of the best mixed albums I’ve laid my little ears on, as it’s chill enough to casually listen to, but with the right amount of enthusiasm (or, drugs and alcohol) this can easily turn into the anthem for an epic night. The Singles Collection would even be the perfect album to give your cousin who loves to party but only listens to what’s on the radio and the occasional Girl Talk (when she’s trying to feel real weird), so help out a sista’s life by giving this to her for the holidays. See, you made it through this entire review and now you can check another gift off the ole Christmas List. Thanks again, Gorillaz! Sounds Like: Crusin’ with the windows up, or the feeling upon on entering a party. Download: 19-2000, Rock the House, Stylo Listen to it When: You’re partying with your old friends.

UPCOMING RELEASES >>> R.E.M. -Part Lies, Part Heart, Part Truth, Part Garbage: 1982 - 2011 Childish Gambino - Camp Sigur Ros -Inni

Glee: The Music, The Christmas Album Vol. 2 Los Campesinos! - Hello Sadness Tegan and Sara - Get Along Gym Class Heros - The Papercut Chronicles II

else was written sometime last fall. We started pre-production December of last year, and we weren’t done until May. It definitely took a long time, but as an unsigned group we had to work when we could. TBS: Can you talk about how you guys go about writing music? TANNER: The EP had me bringing a basic song structure to the band and we worked from there. Garden Window, on the other hand, was all over the place. We’d bring parts of songs to each other and we’d work them through and try them out. Melodically and lyrically, they came last before everything else that goes into a song. TBS: You’re currently on the road with Thrice, and you’ve toured with Cage the Elephant and Manchester Orchestra. What’s life on the road with big-timers like? TANNER: On tours with people you know there’s a lot of hanging out because you’re close, like, you all started out as nobodies. And sure, there are shows where we’re all there to do a job, so we do it and we head home. TBS: Is there any novelty left in touring for you? TANNER: I think that we’re actually starting to get adventuresome in our touring. On average you’ll be spending five to nine hours in a car each day. It takes up a lot of time, just getting around. It’s been weird to travel to all of this country’s major cities, but barely know them outside of the bar where you’re playing that night. TBS: What’s the biggest perk about being in a band? TANNER: I think it’s just the opportunity to live a different life, playing music for different people every day after you wake up and drive to a city. TBS: What’s on your perfect sandwich? TANNER: A good bahn mi Vietnamese sandwich. TBS: If you were stuck in an elevator for 24 hours and you could only have three things, what would they be? TANNER: I’d take a cell phone so people knew where I was. The entire cast of Cirque du Soleil and a bottle of Jameson.

Articles. Bar Specials. Party Pics. Shoutouts. All on your phone...nice. Search "Black Sheep Mobile" for iPhone/Android

Bartender

of the

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Issue

wacz o l G y e n t r u Co wayside

Bar: Wayside Nickname: “Radio” Age: 25 drink recipe: The Glow (Courtney's own concoction) • 1 Shot strawberry vodka • 1/2 Mr. Boston melon liqueur • 1/2 Mr. Boston creme de banana liqueur • 1/2 Peach schapps • 1/2 Blue curacao liqueur • Pineapple and Sierra Mist shot recipe: Cactus Cooler • 1/2 shot peach schnapps • 1/2 orange vodka • Drop in Red Bull and orange juice I Dare You recipe: Satan's Blood • 1/2 shot Jager • 1/2 shot Bacardi 151 • 1/2 shot grenadine

drinking game:

#hipsterproblems Hipsters have been populating campus for as long as there’s been a campus to look douchey on. They’re becoming more abundant than those damn squirrels. Seriously, get hit by a car already. Everywhere you turn you see masses of plaid, fake glasses, vans and bikes with baskets. It’s like a bad Wes Anderson movie. A healthy dose of hipster is totally normal, but when you look like the offspring of Pocahontas and Captain Jack Sparrow, no one can take you seriously. Number of players: Technically you could play by yourself, but that would be more sad than funny. What you need: Binoculars, mace, a bottle of Captain Morgan, and a hipster chaser like Arizona Iced Tea with Ginseng and Honey. Intoxication level: You’re about to get hipped. How to Play: - Stake out a bench that offers a view of as many hipsters as possible. - You might need the binoculars, because sometimes hipsters will ride by very fast on their long board and it might be hard to get a good look. Point system: - Spotting a hipster: 1 point - Detecting feathers in hair: 2 points - Detecting freshly cut flowers in the basket of a bike: 4 points - Witnessing a hipster eating a vegan cupcake. 3 points - Seeing a hipster with a bag from a vintage clothing store: 2 points - Hearing two hipsters discuss a music festival: 5 points - Witnessing a hipster take a picture of a flower with a $500 camera: 10 points - Every 3 points earned, the victor gets to decide who takes a drink The Game Ends When: A hipster friend shows up and everyone is forced to get hammered.

thirsty for more? theblacksheeponline.com/drinkage

Theme song to life: “I'm Sexy and I Know It” - LMFAO Favorite sex position: Sex while driving. Hooked up with an employee: I have never hooked up with an employee. Then again, I've been with the same guy for 5 years. What celeb would you beat up?: I would beat the shit out of Britney Spears. I can't stand her. Who would you be for a day?: I would be Amelia Earhart. She went where no other woman had gone before. Last black out: That would be last night. I don't remember much, but it lead to sex in a car.

recipe for disaster: The Big Mac and Cheese If roommates are good for anything, it’s providing random, delicious leftovers that are free for a drunk’s taking. Let’s say, for example, that your roommate Diego had half of a corn-dog for dinner: shwing, late night snack for you! Or, maybe your roommate Allison ordered $30 worth of Chinese food and only ate one egg roll: double shwing! Sometimes, however, it’s fun to make a leftover masterpiece, and that’s how this bad boy was made. What You’ll Need: A bun, a burger patty, a piece of cheese, macaroni and cheese, and hot sauce. Cook time: About four minutes. Fatty Factor: It’s the culmination of all things leftover – you do the math. Let’s Get Baked: - Assemble all necessary items and place the bun on a microwavable plate. - Place the burger patty on the bun. - Carefully spoon the leftover macaroni and cheese on the burger patty. - Lay a slice of cheese (American, provolone, Swiss, cheddar, what have you) over the mac-daddy noodles. Microwave for 30 seconds. - Drench the steamy-cheesy-mass in hot sauce. - Feel free to add any other typical burger toppings you feel would be scrumptious: onions, ketchup, mustard, pickles, etc. - Top it off with the top half of the bun. - Enjoy! While this recipe is delicious going down, it’s much less so coming back up the next morning. Whether it’s food or libations, remember: moderation is key. Bon Appétit!

cAN YOU SOLVE THE RIDDLE?

Figure out the question, get the right answer, first 10 win a prize! riddle@theblacksheeponline.com

1: Period of time 2: Name 3: Verb (-ing) 4: Noun 5: Time of day 6: Adjective 7: Noun 8: Campus store that would sell (7) 9: Marginalized person 10: Something you’d have in your pocket 11: Same as 10 12: Verb 13: Noun 14: Area of town

15: Obscenity 16: Verb (-s) 17: Same as 16 (-ing) 18: Obscenity 19: Obscenity 20: Verb 21: Same as 9 22: Group of people 23: Same as 2 24: Obscenity 25: Same as 9 26: Verb (-ed) 27: Noun 28: Same as 3 29: Something that you can (3)

Dude, you won’t believe this story. So, a couple of __1__ ago my buddy __2__ and I decided to start __3__ __4__ as soon as we woke up. Obviously by __5__ we were pretty __6__, so we decided to go get some __7__. On the way to __8__ we saw this __9__. We made eye contact and he asked us for a__10__. Of course I gave him __11__, but only if he’d __12__ for it. After, he wouldn’t stop following us. He kept asking us to go with him to buy some __13__, and finally we obliged. We’re walking towards __14__ with this guy and all of a sudden he screams, “__15__!” and just starts sobbing. We try to console him, but instead he turns around and __16__. Dude keeps __17__ my buddy, screaming “__18__ you, you __19__ !” Finally, I get my bearings about me, I just __20__ this __21__so hard. It was crazy, but it wasn’t over yet. Out of nowhere these three __22__ show up, __23__’s bleeding, and I’m like, “__24__.” Turns out, they weren’t after me they’re after this __25__, because once he __26__ on a __27__. In short, I’m never __28__ __29__ again.

Trivia Answers:

madlib:

The Crazy Story You told Your High School Friends

1. A Taste of Love 2. 4th 3. Thunderbirds 4. Gizmo