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Volume 3, Issue 7 | 11/30/11 - 12/13/11 | theblacksheeponline.com
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Black A Bronco’s Guide to Sheep Skipping Class
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“A College Newspaper That’s Actually About College”
lulu lemon wrote this We all pay a pretty penny to attend glorious Western Michigan University. Does that stop any of us from skipping those horrid, expensive classes that we complain so much about? Nope. It gets to be real rough trying to get out of our warm, cozy beds to face the cold in order to make it to class. Add peer pressure on top of that and skipping class is, 9 out of 10 times, the result. If your roommates or friends are skipping, you’re going to skip too. Don’t deny it. In order to pass your classes, you will need to perfect the art of skipping. Get good enough and you’ll be able to skip class and still pass. For those grasshoppers that haven’t snatched the stone out of my hand yet, here’s a guide to becoming the master of skipping: • Classes you can skip include lectures so dreadfully terrible that you fall asleep in them (I claim no responsibility if your dumb ass fails for deciding to skip too many classes). If you sit on your ass browsing Facebook the entire time, don’t go. For classes like these, skip an occasional class here or there. • Know that there’s usually a catch with the lectures that are on E-Learning. You may think you don’t have to
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go to class, but most professors give random attendance points if you’re actually in class. If you’re taking a class like this, go! • One of the best tools to have in a class is a friend, especially a smart one. If you don’t already know anyone in your class, look around and try to find someone who’s paying attention. If they are, make friends and exchange numbers. This person will be your personal savior. When you want to skip, shoot them a quick text asking if you missed anything. You’ll be golden. • The day after an exam is one of the best days to skip class. Take full advantage of those days as much as possible. • It doesn’t matter if it’s snowing, hailing, or Katrinaing, your professor is getting to class and you need to also. Professors don’t consider being cold (or any weather-related problem) as an excused absence. So buy some snow boots and a parka, and get your ass to class so your grade doesn’t get screwed. • Do not skip classes required for you major. As you attempt to pay off your overwhelming student debt, these are the classes that will teach you the skills needed to score your dream job. If you really feel the hankering to skip, and the class has notes on E-learning, then you
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can, every once in a while. This means special occasions, like day drinking or a Law and Order SVU marathon. • Do not skip foreign language classes. Whether it’s Spanish, French, German, Pig Latin or Gibberish, you’ll need to know how to pluralize a gerund when you’re abroad. They’re fast paced classes not taught in English. Even if you scored the in-class genius, notes won’t make sense, and you won’t understand the material on the day of your return; the class has moved forward while you skipped just for the hell of it. We’re all paying for school and are told to go to class. However, it’s up to you whether to finish off your semester physically in class or cozied up in bed. Although attending class is half the battle, don’t forget to stay awake in class and study from time to time. Otherwise, you might as well not go at all. And use the buddysystem as motivation when possible. If you have a friend who tags along with you to school functions so you can score an extra credit point here and there, keep themthey’re awesome! When they ask you to go to a seminar on woman gender roles and their opinion on prostitution legalization, remember that they’re awesome friends and go with them. Misery loves company.
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15: The riddle
we seriously don't think you can solve this one, it's that good!