The Black Sheep
FR E tim E... e t like o or drin de ks r t fr he om go alumn od st uff i... !
• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
Volume 1, Issue 4 9/27/12 - 10/3/12
theblacksheeponline.com @BlackSheepWVU
Can You Tell Me How to Get, How to Get Down to High Street? the black sheep staff wrote this
During the day going to the Golden Finch or The Blue Moose Café with your friends is a peaceful and relaxing experience. Between classes you can walk through the shops and hang out on the sidewalks of High Street with your coffee. Upon nightfall, though, you begin seeing normal humans retreating from the premises at rapid speeds and in quick succession. “What’s happening?” you may ask, and you would be correct in any assumption that involved an apocalyptic scenario. It’s nighttime on High Street: shit is about to get real. Read on for help navigating the destruction that unfolding around you in the night. At all times of the night there will be a drunk bro fight happening on some corner of the sidewalk. “Really, brah? Really? Screw you, brah!” permeates the atmosphere as you run in the opposite direction before the sudden drop in IQ becomes contageous...er, contagious. It’s begun already! It’s a fact of life; any mildly attractive Morgantown lady doesn’t need pants or comfortable shoes in thirty degree weather. Don’t be alarmed when a few High Street girls strut their stuff over the salted sidewalk in November. They were born impervious to extreme weather, happy to sport stilts and pencil skirts while displaying a skin color that does not naturally occur in nature. Spotting a group of underagers is another simple High Street task. Whether they’re lined up to try their hand on getting into The Cellar or Shooters, or casually loitering outside a convenient store waiting for a homeless guy to present them with their “beverages,” they’re not hard to spot. Most of the time they’re trying to inconspicuously blend in with the crowd waiting to get in Joe Mama’s or Bent Willey’s. We’ve all been in their shoes at one time or another so it’s hard to hate on them, but that shouldn’t stop anyone from walking up to a frosh, muttering the words, “Excuse me boys, I’m an undercover officer, can I see some I.D.s?” Then there’s the Mother Hen of the group. Every time a group of ladies head downtown there’s always the mom of the group, making sure the other girls don’t have TOO much fun. The Mother Hen’s job is to make sure that absolutely no one gets laid. She shoves her friends in the back of taxis as soon as they make eye contact with a cute dude and eye-daggers any friend that dares a casual flirt or two. She’s convinced it’s a girls’ night out, and it’s
top ten ways to be "that person" loud and obnoxious is a running theme.
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her job to keep it that way. Last but not least, there’s the typical WAY too drunk guy. Whether he’s staggering out of his favorite bar or being thrown out on his ass, it’s usually not very hard to come across one. Oftentimes, they’ll scream across High Street in celebration of seeing their favorite athlete’s jersey. Once they scare that stranger off, they’ll look for an attractive female specimen to slur sexual assault speak towards. Failing that, he’ll bum a smoke from a stranger
what’s inside from the streets
what's your favorite part about gameday in morgantown?
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and sit catatonic on a stoop. If you encounter one faceto-face, just agree with him, pat his back, and keep him moving before he decides he has to projectile vomit all on your fresh new kicks. These, among other outlandish sights, are just a few things you may come in contact with while you’re on High Street for a night on the town. We’ve all come to know and love these displays of vulgarity and idiocy that have made WVU the proud party school that it is.
Overly Specific October Horoscopes Well, about as specific as every other horoscope.
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