The Black Sheep
FR th EE.. ou . l gh ike t g no en on o sm e re ith al wa izin sI gy ta ou lia n!
• a college newspaper that’s actually about college •
Volume 1, Issue 6 10/11/12 - 10/17/12
theblacksheeponline.com @BlackSheepWVU
Let’s Get Wild, Cats WVU staff wrote this
Everyone here loves football. It’s actually one, if not the main, stipulation to get into WVU. As most of you will know, our next home football game will be on October 20th against the Kansas State Wildcats. This is your heads-up to start tailgating now. Our last home game was very memorable - we striped the stadium, Geno had a nearly-perfect game, and of course it was our first conference victory. Dare I ask, can we do this again? Does Kristen Stewart only make one facial expression? There’s your answer. There is a foolproof plan to help us beat Kansas State, and every other game we play. I’m here to share it all with you. This will be the most important thing you learn throughout your entire college career, don’t let your parents’ hard-earned money go to waste. First, you must get very drunk. To do this, wake up at 5 a.m. on game day to start tailgating. For better results, just keep the Friday night Jack and Cokes going until morning hours as a pre-tailgating session. This helps with the entire feel of the game. Alcohol, or liquid courage as you may call it, helps to loosen up even the tightest of asses. Because of this, the fans become crazy and extra friendly, allowing fans to befriend one another without wanting to kill each other. If you start feeling your buzz leaving you, take one for the team and go buy another overpriced beer. The second thing you must always do to help our team is to always shout crude things at the officials when they make poor calls against us. Even if we actually fumbled the ball, and the other team got it in the pile up, you are expected to scream how that was the worst call you’ve seen in your entire life until your throat bleeds. The third thing that you must do is have school spirit until it’s beyond ridiculous. Wear blue and gold, paint your face blue and gold, dye your hair blue and gold. Hell, just paint your whole body blue and gold. You mustn’t be scared to wear tons of WVU acces-
Large, impersonal classes the best way to learn Study suggests cramming 600
sories. Wear crazy WVU sunglasses, hats, necklaces, headbands, or whatever else you can think of. Force your friends to do the same. The fourth and final thing that you must do to help our team win is to perform all the wild traditional game rituals that our ancestors passed down to us. You must do the first down chant, even though you will feel like you are doing some bizarre rain dance. You must also jingle your keys during kickoff, and if you don’t have them with you during the game, you
what’s inside
the top ten student fails Stop acting smart and start
being smart. Also stop being high.
kindergartners into lecture, show them how to color.
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will feel like the outcast. You must be one of the girls thrown into the air, or be one of the guys throwing the girl in the air when we get a touchdown. Yes, this is extremely dangerous, but it’s also totally necessary, and a key part in our victory. If everyone will follow these very strict rules then we will send the Wildcats back as poor little house kittens. So grab your friends, grab some booze, grab some blue and gold, and hit up those bars and tailgate parties like Geno hits the defensive lines.
The international bacon shortage: an emergency manual do not eat turkey bacon!
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