The Sentinella Axarquia January 2022 Edition

The Axarquia Sentinella Edition No 209

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January 22 Since 2002

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m Fro Ed... the Welcome to the January 2022 edition of The Sentinella Axarquia. The festive season has flown by once again and here’s hoping you all had a great time despite some restrictions being in place. We wish you all a very happy and most importantly, a healthy New Year.

What will 2022 bring? Hopefully, prosperity — if the “new world” will allow it — and lots of love and goodwill. Let’s all just keep our fingers crossed that we can start to put the past two years of fear and misery behind us and leap into 2022 with lots of fun and exciting things to look forward to. We can but hope!

If you have decided to make a New Year’s resolution, don’t put it on the back burner — whether it be that you need to eat more healthily, start exercising, stop smoking or maybe would like to learn a new hobby such as knitting or crochet; set a start date and STICK TO IT! Just don’t forget, when deciding on the best date to launch your New Year “improvement campaign,” we still have the Three Kings celebrations to enjoy, which I am sure will involve extra eating and drinking activities.

For anyone who may have just arrived in the area and is not aware of The Three Kings tradition, it takes place on the evening of January 5th each year to celebrate the arrival of the three wise men in Bethlehem after Jesus' birth.

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Editor: Kami Knight sales@thesentinella.com Sales: 664 210 468 / 664 689 138 www.thesentinella.com

Sentinella Axarquia Edition

Deposito Legal MA-1435-2005 No part of this publication, including pictures may be copied, used or reproduced without our prior written consent.

The Sentinella accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors.

The Sentinella is eternally dedicated to Colin Checkley, the founder and editor of The Sentinel Magazine. May he rest in peace.

(Born; 1960 Died; 2004) The Sentinella is a registered trademark

Spanish towns and cities have wonderful, colourful parades where hundreds of thousands of boiled sweets are thrown out of the floats into the crowds of adults and children who line the streets waiting to catch a sweet or a bag or two!

www.thesentinella.com

in Spain

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Strange News I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone — advertisers, contributors and readers — for continuing to support our little magazine. We hope that in 2022, we can bring you a full 12 months of printed editions ‘sin problemas’!

Keep yourself healthy, and welcome in a happy, peaceful and prosperous 2022!

Kami Knight x The Editor (of the original little mag)!

The Sentinella DEADLINE FOR FEBRUARY 2022 SATURDAY 20th JANUARY

Enquiries: 664 210 468 Email: sales@thesentinella.com

Countries Of The World....................Page 30 A-Z Of Cocktails................................Page 44 Film Review.......................................Page 64 Faceless............................................Page 67 Fruit & Vegetable Facts....................Page 70 Celebrity News..................................Page 88 The Sentinella Competition.............Page 92 Where´s The Grasshopper..............Page 96 Information Pages...........................Page 100 Jokes................................................Page 102 Puzzle Pages...................................Page 104

Nuts and more nuts Apparently humans aren’t the only species packing on extra pounds during the pandemic.

Some squirrels are letting themselves go, too.

Many squirrels are eating well in New England. But one portly squirrel is so big it earned the nickname, “Fatty McFatterson.”

Most squirrels sprint or scoot. This one lumbers and waddles after supplementing nature’s bounty this autumn by helping himself to seeds that fall to the ground from bird feeders.

“He’s clearly the alpha of the yard,” said Beth Ditkoff, of Damariscotta, USA, told The Associated Press. “You think of them as scampering around. He’s bah-boom, bah-boom.”

It turns out that many pint-sized rodents aren’t so pint-sized as they gorge on abundant beach nuts, hazelnuts, acorns and a bumper crop of mushrooms, Shevenell Webb, furbearer biologist with the Maine Department of Inland Fisheries and Wildlife, told the Bangor Daily News.

“Many species of wildlife can pack on some extra pounds, but their thick, fluffy fur coat may also make them appear larger in winter,” she said.

Symbolic orange?

A man has shared photos of a Christ-like figure suspended from a tangerine as if hanging on the cross.

Jesus often ‘appeared’ in bread, a frying pan, and other household objects in the past, but hasn’t popped up as much recently. But he seems to be back, this time inside a peeled orange fruit.

Nursing home supervisor Gene Guglielmi, 57, noticed the unusual image during a work break in New Jersey. He took photos showing how ‘Jesus’ is linked to two citrus segments, which may (or may not) signify the unity of the Holy Trinity.

However, Gene, from Vineland, admitted that he did slightly alter the image of the son of God, as originally his legs were also connected to the segments, as if he were doing a star jump rather than being crucified.

Despite this slight element of doubt, thousands of people have liked the photos he shared.

‘This looks like Christ on the cross also coming from the tomb, also angel wings, this is amazing,’ one person said.

However, others said it looked more like Spiderman.

Happy New Year from all the team at

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Strange News (Continued) Travelling chips A man claims to be on a mission to collect one chip from every single one of the 925 Wetherspoons across the UK. Boris Bennett, 45, says he carries a folder of chips around with him – each in a clear pouch and perfectly labelled with the restaurant they were purchased from.

His hilarious hobby came to light when he posted a picture of his ‘trading cards collection book’ on Facebook.

Social media users were quick to point out it would take a while to visit every Spoons across the country – meaning the chips could get rather mouldy. But Boris told Metro.co.uk he has been coating the chips in Vaseline and wax to make them last longer.

A spokesperson for Wetherspoon has commended the challenge, naming Boris ‘one of a kind’.

Cheeky cow A mischievous cow escaped from a slaughterhouse in Brazil and found its way into a nearby water park.

But though it managed to evade death, the huge animal risked collapsing a tall flume which it awkwardly trotted down on its knees.

Luckily, the slide – reportedly only designed to hold 450 pounds, held firm under the cow’s roughly 700 pound weight.

The animal’s unlikely dash for freedom had a happy ending 500 miles west of Rio de Janeiro, where the ranch owner adopted it and named it Tobogã (Slide in Portuguese).

IHeartRadio claimed the cow would become a family pet.

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Bodyworks New You New Year Offer!!

Health and Fitness Package Be the best version of you in 2022 Includes: - Health & Fitness Analysis (aerobic, muscular flexibility & body composition) - Personalised Exercise Programme (Tailored to your own needs and fitness goals) - 10 Exercise Sessions incorporating aerobic, strength & stretch training (2 PT sessions & 8 individual exercise sessions) - A sports massage & injury management advice Full package available for only €99 Valid until the end of February 2022

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HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Menu del Dia - 7.50€ (Vegetarian 6.95€) Monday - Friday 12pm - 4pm 3 courses (including vegetarian)

Special Menu Monday to Friday - 11€ Choice of starter, Choice of curry, Rice or Naan / Tea or Coffee Avda Andalucia, Bloque Jupiter, Pasaje Timon 2, Calle Timon, Torre del Mar

Tel: 952 547 798 or 631 34 21 93 Open: 12.00 - 16.00 18.00 - 24.00 everyday (closed Tuesday evenings) TAJ Mahal Restaurant www.publisur.net/empresa/1390/taj-mahal-indian-restaurant

DUTCH SPORTS BAR & RESTAURANT WITH POOL TABLE & DARTS Open Wednesday - Friday 16.00 - midnight Saturday 10am - midnight Sunday 1pm - midnight (closed Monday & Tuesday) HAVE YOU HEARD? New opening hours and new English kitchen at the Dive Bar! Chris and Chrissie (formerly Bar Plata in Algarrobo Costa) are opening their kitchen once again to offer their renowned range of burgers all served with fries and homemade coleslaw.

The burgers along with full authentic English Brunch Breakfast will be available all the time with the following Themed Nights; Homemade Pies on Wednesdays, Grill Thursdays (steaks, ribs, gammon), Cod or Scampi and chips on Fridays, the curry range on Saturdays and a 3 course Sunday Lunch and a range of all your old favourite English desserts.

Treat yourself to burgers and hotdogs on all match days too.

Kitchen Hours - Wed to Fri 5pm - 10pm, Sat 10am - 9pm, Sun 1pm - 9pm (sunday lunch 1pm - 4pm).

Vegetarian options and children's menu available too.

Food served inside or on the newly heated terrace.

AVENIDA DE ANDALUCIA 113, CALETA DE VELEZ

TEL: 661 419 974

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Brain Exercises Perfect for a bit of fun over the New Year.

Can you work out the answers? The first one has been done for you.

1. man ---------board Answer - Man Overboard 2. stand --------i 3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/g/ 4. r road a d 5. cycle cycle cycle

6.

0 -----------M.D. Ph.D. 7. knee light 8. ground --------------feetfeetfeetfeetfeetfeet 9. He's X himself 10. ecnalg 11. death ..... life 12. abababababababababababababababababab abab...

How did you get on... turn to page 99

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Drink Sensibly 13 signs you drank too much

could've bought the car.

You spent Sunday night in jail for cow-tipping with your pickup truck.

You're now the proud inventor of the "Slim Jim": Ultra Slim-Fast shakes made with Jim Beam.

Although armed with fire extinguishers, friends stood at a safe distance as you blew out your birthday candles.

Thanks to you, Jack Daniels stock is up 151/4 since Friday.

Boris Yeltsin called personally to ask you to slow down on the Stoli.

For some reason, there's salt on the rim of your basketball goal.

Your name is Otis and Sheriff Andy has brought you some of Aunt Bea's pancakes.

For the money you spent on Thunderbird, you

Answering machine full of warnings from Coach Switzer.

Absolut Vodka wants to run an ad featuring a picture of your liver in the shape of a bottle.

Yet again, dry cleaner employees greet you with, "Hey, it's Vomit Man!" The doorman asks for your I.D. just to see how long it'll take you to find your trousers.

You're now sober enough to realise "Drink Spain Dry" is a slogan and not a personal challenge.

TAJ MAHAL INDIAN RESTAURANT LIVE MUSIC @ The Sky Lounge!

Kasif and his staff wish everyone a Happy New Year!

MENU DEL DIA

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MONDAY - FRIDAY LUNCHTIME (EXCEPT TUESDAY)

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Opening Hours Wednesday - Monday 1pm - 4pm and 6pm - 12am every day Puente don Manuel (Chiringuito Antonio) Tel: 952 510 886 Mob: 667 934 731

TAJ MAHAL The Best Curry House tajmahalalcaucín http://tajmahalalcaucin.com/

Ref: ALC082 Property of the month Price: 185,000€ ALCAUCÍN - CASA BELLAVISTA IS A BEAUTIFUL TWIN BUILDING IN A CUL-DE-SAC CLOSE TO PUENTE DON MANUEL IN A VERY QUIET URBANISATION The building is a one floor property with a half-basement. A few steps lead through a covered porch to the entrance hall, fitted kitchen, living room and lounge. The latter leads to the outside terrace. The sleeping area consists of 2 double bedrooms, bathroom and finally master bedroom with en-suite. The bedrooms have beautiful built-in wardrobes and ceiling fans. A central A.C. unit serves the entire house. The windows are made of aluminium and Climalit and have shutters, fly screens and decorative window bars DON’T DREAM YOUR LIFE, LIVE YOUR DREAM! For more Country Life Properties, consult our website

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Say That And You Die! Top 15 fatal things to say if your wife is pregnant 15. "I finished the Oreo's."

14. "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs forty pounds."

joy of childbirth?"

8. "Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"

7. "Get your own ice cream."

6. "Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today."

13. "You know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby."

5. "Got milk?"

12. "I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever."

4. "Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tracey."

11. "Well, couldn't they induce labour? The 25th is the Cup Final."

3. "Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"

10. "Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt."

2. "Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water."

9. "I'm jealous. Why can't men experience the

1. "You don't have the guts to pull that trigger."

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

MÁLAGA LEGAL Calle Puerta del Mar 3, Local 17, TORRE DEL MAR (directly opposite the new police station) Calle San Lorenzo 27, 4b, MÁLAGA

info@malagalegal.com Tel: 659 752 538 www.malagalegal.com Emma Romero Lawyer Family law Inheritance

Ignacio García - Lawyer Conveyancing, Contracts Litigation

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Residence & immigration Criminal defence

Accountant, Tax Vehicle transfers

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HAPPY NEW YEAR! “New and existing residents: Now is the time to find out if you need to submit the Modelo 720”

Professional, friendly experts and ALL in English. Free initial consultation

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For All Star Wars Fans You know you're a Star Wars geek when...

have a bad feeling about this."

You pass out while trying to move a pencil across the desk with the Force.

You listen for Obi-Wan while attempting to reverse park.

You get jealous of Luke because his light saber is double the size of yours.

You don't have any money to buy food or clothes but you have a kick-arse STAR WARS collection.

You would love to have Frank Oz stick his hand up your butt so you can be as wise as Yoda.

You swear you saw Obi-Wan in your Cheerios.

You get into a fight, you automatically find yourself reaching for a light saber...

You start to see visions of Ben Kenobi telling you to go to bed.

Your room is filthy except for your "Star Wars Area."

You name your right hand 'Leia'.

You think you are the life of the party because you imitate Yoda's voice and have him say things a Jedi master wouldn't say.

Whenever you get in trouble, you mutter "I

Your specialists on the Axarquia Coast The Suisse Home Team wish you a

Ref. SH1065

Happy New Year!!!

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Beautiful luxury villa with nice sea views in Torre del Mar. Completely renovated with parquet floor. The house remains furnished.

Plot of 523m2 and house of 302m2. Living room with chimney and access to the private garden and terraces, large fitted kitchen, 4 bedrooms (1 of them on the main floor), 4 baths, built-in wardrobe, air conditioning, large cellar with kitchen, laundry, living room with chimney.

Private swimming pool and closed garage for 2 cars

C / Infante 23, Edif. Faro 1, bajo, 29740 Torre del Mar, Málaga, España Tel./Fax. 0034 / 952 54 70 76 / 658 93 31 87 e-mail: info@suissehome.com www.suissehome.com

Happy New Year!

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Funny Classifieds These classified adverts were printed in an actual newspaper COWS, CALVES: never bred. Also 1 gay bull for sale.

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER, 8 years old.

Hateful little bastard. Bites!

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat. Been out a while. Better be a big reward.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer €100.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.

FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.

Excellent condition. €200 or best offer. No longer needed, Got married last month. Wife knows everything.

AUTOMOBILE FOR SALE, 1985 Blue Volkswagen. Only 50 miles. Only first gear and reverse ever used. Never driven hard.

Original tyres. Original brakes. Original fuel and oil. Only 1 driver. Owner wishing to sell due to employment lay-off.

FULL SIZED MATTRESS. 20 yr. warranty. like new. slight urine smell.

NICE PARACHUTE: never opened - used once.

USED TOILET PAPER FOR SALE. I have a wide selection of brands and designs.

TURKEY FOR SALE. Partially eaten. Only eight days old. Both drumsticks still intact.

FOR SALE: One pair hardly used dentures only 2 teeth missing.

Contact your nearest GLS point: Calle Explanada de la Estacion 21, Vélez-Málaga, 29700 Email: agencia.570@gls-spain.es l +34 952 615 250

Mobile: +34 680 480 276 Email: info@detropen.es Web: www.detropen.es Autovia del Mediterráneo A7, exit 272, Vélez-Málaga Open Monday to Saturday 9am to 8pm

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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Cosiscoop Basket Olive €149

Lafuma relax chair SPHINX €299.95

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Mr. & Mrs. A WOMAN'S POEM: Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man who's not a creep, One who's handsome, smart and strong.

One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he speaks, One who'll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he's rich and self-employed, And when I spend, won't be annoyed.

Pull out my chair and hold my hand.

Massage my feet and help me stand.

Oh send a king to make me queen.

A man who loves to cook and clean.

I pray this man will love no other.

And relish visits with my mother.

A MAN'S POEM: I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast who owns a bar on a golf course, and loves to send me fishing and drinking.

This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a s***.

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New Year Useless Facts The first ever New Year celebrations took place back in 2000 BC. The Mesopotamians started this tradition of celebrating New Year.

The annual tradition of gathering in Times Square for New Year's started as a party to celebrate the opening of the New York Times building in 1904. Over 200,000 people attended.

2,000 pounds of confetti are dropped in Times Square.

Some people wear adult diapers while celebrating New Year at Times Square due to the lack of toilets.

In Denmark people throw dishes at the doorsteps of other people. The meaning behind this tradition is that it will bring many new friends to the owner of the doorsteps.

New Year is not called New Year in Belgium.

They call it Sint Sylvester Vooranvond.

In Thailand, they celebrate their traditional New Year’s Day with a state sponsored multiple day water fight.

People make resolutions on the New Year day, but most of the resolutions are pretty common for almost half of the population.

They include losing weight, saving money, waking up earlier etc.

Japanese eat long noodles on New Year.

Long noodles signify long life.

In Portugal, Hungary, Austria and Cuba, pork is a standard New Year food and it signifies prosperity and progress.

For ancient Greeks, flooding the Nile every year marked the beginning of New Year.

VENTA BAJA/PUENTE DON MANUEL’S EXCITING NEW VENUE (behind Taj Mahal) ALL FRESHLY cooked choices of Worldwide Street Food options, with many fusions & variations on a theme

BREAKFAST, BRUNCH & EVENING MEALS Menus changed monthly Open Thurs, Fri & Sat 10am - close Sun 10am - 4pm Call: 642 519 017 wishes you all a Healthy & Happy 2022!

We look forward to seeing you!

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Property Issues : Tiles Tiles can be used to hide a multiple of sins You will probably inherit a property with quite boring and uninspiring tile designs, both on the floor and walls, especially if the house is over 10 years old.

The general principle was to tile all the walls in the bathrooms and kitchen, even behind the kitchen units. This has the effect of making the rooms feel cold and uninviting.

The floors of older properties are either tiled with rustic terracotta or quite garish ceramic.

Most builders are not known for their sense of aesthetics, and so each room will have a different tile design without any feeling of conformity throughout the property.

GENERAL PROBLEMS The outside terraces can become traitorous in

the wet, as the ceramic tiles are not non-slip.

Often tiles are not laid on a solid base but are point laid, they can become lose the grouting degrading and the tiles fall off over time.

Tiles can also be used to hide a multiple of sins, invariably moisture by covering over walls subject to raising damp.

If the terrace base is poorly constructed the tiles will crack and lift, the only solution is to start from scratch with a new base, using a heavy grade of rebars and hardened concrete.

The foreign buyer will generally view their potential new property during the hot summer months and be totally unaware just how cold the floor and hence the whole house can become during the winter, and how almost impossible it is to heat.

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Property Issues : Tiles (Continued) Do not despair, we are here to help and guide you through this bewildering dilemma.

First consider your budget for the retiling of the property. This will limit the range of tiles and type available. Then consider the colour scheme, perhaps taking into account what you already have and blending in new textures and colours giving a harmonious balance. If your budget is large enough, then you may consider a whole new look throughout the property. You will almost certainly know by this stage if you want a modern or rustic look or a combination of the two.

THE TYPE OF TILE THAT SHOULD BE TAKEN INTO ACCOUNT Porcelain tiles have the advantage of giving a textured look as well as a contemporary feel.

The same tile colour can be used throughout the interior of the property and the exterior terraces, giving a feel of space and bringing the outside into the interior, especially if large patio doors are incorporated into the design.

If the rooms are modest in size this also has the advantage of making them feel more spacious, for example, using the floor tile on the bathroom walls.

Underfloor heating should be considered when retiling, this doesn’t need to be an expensive option. Just having the bathroom floors heated can be a modest luxury.

Contact LT Construction for all your tiling needs, call us today for a free and non-obligatory quote.

See main advert opposite

w Palliative care w Health monitoring w Hospital sitting w Respite at home w Assisted mobility w Dressing, bathing & daily hygiene w 24 hour live in care w Meal preparation & shopping w Routine housekeeping w Correspondence & communication w Provision of medical equipment w Medication collect & dispensing systems

englishnurse@rocketmail.com www.englishnurse.net

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Linea Directa IN A PERFECT WORLD Imagine a place where you never loose your keys. Where setting up your home wifi signal is as easy as pie. And where burst pipes are a thing of the past. One-day, maybe. Until then, you need a safe pair of hands. Línea Directa has been keeping you and your home safe since 1995.

A dedicated team of English-speaking customer service experts will guide you through all your queries and provide clear answers. Home insurance policies start from just 98€. Terms and conditions apply.

MORE THAN JUST CAR INSURANCE Línea Directa is constantly innovating its home insurance policies to offer much more for less. Customer satisfaction is at the very heart of everything they do. Extensive coverage levels ensure a quality home insurance product. With additional policy benefits such as IT Assistance, Home Assistant service, and dedicated legal advice. Línea Directa are customer service experts and they can guide you through a wide range of covers to offer you the very best home insurance policy that’s right for you and your property.

WHY LÍNEA DIRECTA? Línea Directa has been providing comprehensive car, motorbike and home insurance to British expatriates and residents in Spain for over 25 years. With over 3 million customers nationwide, all services and documentation is in English. Your home insurance protects you financially against loss in the event of damage to your home. Línea Directa is always on hand 24/7, 365 days a year for total peace of mind.

EXPAT2EXPAT Did you know that Línea Directa has it’s own Expat2Expat programme? Whenever an

917 002 006 existing customer recommends a friend, then we reward the policy-holder and the friend with 30€ in cash. You can recommend up to 10 people and earn up to 300€ in cash per year. Simply ask your friend to call 917 002 006 and quote your full name. Then once their application for car, bike or home insurance has been approved, Línea Directa will pay the reward straight into the bank account following payment of next or first premium. See terms and conditions at lineadirecta.com Call their English-speaking customer service staff on 952 147 834 or get a competitive quote now at lineadirecta.com

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What’s New This Month This month we would like to welcome some new businesses to all our readers, plus some news from existing clients too, you can read all about them here.

rebranding and the introduction of a proactive website and is now the premier Real Estate Agency in the area.

See main advert on page 115

Firstly, we welcome Inlingua school of languages in Velez Malaga. The staff fully intergrate the student at the level according to their knowledge. Inlingua have both face to face classes and online. They use the ‘Inlingua method’ and the teaching team is specialised in this language teaching methodology, making it easy for students to learn the new language and to become fluent in it. Inlingua are effective at teaching languages using quality methods and therefore producing results. You can choose from learning Spanish, English, German and French. All levels available. 50% discount!

Contact them for further information.

See main advert on page 56

I can announce that the winner of the December Sentinella competition was Deb Ritchie. The competition was sponsored by The Town Frier@The Belvedere in Torre del Mar, who gave 2 meals from their menu including 2 soft drinks, wine or beer as the prize. You can see Belvedere’s advert on page 65. For details of our January competition see page 92 which is sponsored

by Centro Casa Blanca. Good luck everyone!

It’s that time of the year when many of us overindulge, especially with the alcoholic beverages. If you need to speak to someone in confidence A.A. has a solution. That isn't an empty promise. A.A. has been helping alcoholics recover for more than 80 years.

A.A.'s program of recovery is built on the simple foundation of one alcoholic sharing with another. If your drinking is out of control, A.A. can help. See main advert on page 48 We welcome an up and coming Real Estate in Sayalonga, Expat Real Estate.

They offer a wide range of properties and services, take a look at their website: expatrealestatemalaga.com They would be delighted to advise you on your project!

See main advert on page 20 We welcome back Idecocina. They have been dedicated to designing and installing all types of kitchens in Malaga since 1980 including all styles, countertops, accessories and appliances. They have a wide variety of finshes, materials and colours to suit the personal style of each client. All with a comprehensive service and carried out by the company’s own personnel.

See main advert on page 77 Villa Solutions in Puente don Manuel was founded in 2002 by current owner and director Tim Whiteley. Over the past four years the company has undergone a major transformation, including relocating to a prominent position on the main road,

Plus, this month’s business reviews are bought to us by BluCee Real Estate. They have received some wonderful reviews which we share with you on page 53. If you advertise your business in The Sentinella and would like us to print your reviews, please email: sales@thesentinella.com Other news this month... A big congratulations goes out to Josh from La Tasca in Torre del Mar. Not only has he recently lost 20kg he completed his first 1/2 marathon with friend, Martin on the 12th of December. Josh finished with a respectable time of 2:20 minutes and Martin finishing in 1:46:40. A fantastic achievement! Josh set up a Go Fund Me and raised some much needed money for Hermandad Virgen del Carmen, Torre del Mar's food bank organisation. Well Done!

If you have a business in the Axarquia region and would like to promote it so it’s in the hands of our readers, contact us on 664 210 468 or email: sales@thesentinella.com We look forward to promoting and distributing your advert throughout Axarquia!

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es ld i r t n Wor u o C he Of T

list -Z of A rld two e wo nds, mor e h p t la nd ic is ake u u n o r ur olca u - m d... in oine v Upol e lan 4 15 f n nd f th ber up o ai'i a 9% o m e Nu mad - Sav an 9 th is hich w

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Population - 195,000 Languages - Samoan, English Located - South Pacific.

Capital - Apia Currency - Tala Religion - Christianity Main Exports - Wire and cable Literacy Rate - 99% Life Expectancy - 76 years G.D.P. Per Capita - 4,067.47 USD Total Area - 2,831 sq km National Sport - Rugby union Interesting Facts... Contact with Europeans began in the early 18th century. Dutch explorer Jacob Roggeveen happened upon

the islands in 1722. In 1768, French Admiral Louis de Bougainville visited the islands. He was so impressed with the Samoan’s numerous canoes and their great skill in handling them that he gave Samoa its original European name, “The Navigator Islands.”

Samoa was governed by New Zealand until its independence in 1961. It has the world's second-largest Polynesian group, after the Maori.

Samoa's society centres around the extended family, which is headed by an elected chief who directs the family's social, economic and political affairs, and the church, which is a focus of recreational and social life.

Apia, the capital city of Samoa, is the only city in the country. It is located in the island of Upolu which is the country’s second biggest island.

Samoa is the world’s ninth most obese country with 77% of adults classified as overweight.

The word tattoo is believed to originate from Samoa.

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Man Mode Learn what really goes on in your hubbie or boyfriend’s mind…

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will continue to fiddle with a coat hanger until long after hypothermia has set in.

Calling the RAC is not an option. I will win.

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the supermarket, like milk or bread. I can not be expected to find exotic items like ‘cumin’ or ‘tofu’. For all I know, these are the same thing.

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan.

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair man gets here and has to put it back together.

television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole programme looking for it.

Because I'm a man, there's no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The honest answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine.

Can we just go now?

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2022, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest...like wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.

Because I'm a man, I must hold the

Without Question - Simply The Best Fried Chicken in Torre del Mar!!!

Dave & Kay (Olive) wish everyone a Fantastic 2022!

NERJA - BUSINESS - RESTAURANT Central location Capacity: 85 clients Toilets: 4 Large fully fitted kitchen Wood oven / Barbecue Storeroom/Terrace EPC: Pending 2 REF: 7422 . 195m . PRICE: 375,000€ CALETA DE VÉLEZ - APARTMENT Beds: 3 Baths: 2 EPC: Pending Communal Pool Tennis Court Garage Lift 2 REF: 7429 . 125m . PRICE: 315,000€

“We would like to wish you a Healthy & Prosperous New Year”

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Top Tricks Do you like playing practical jokes on friends and rellies? Here are some that will have you all cracking up…!

someone’s car (check the exhaust isn’t hot or the car isn’t running first or else you will get burnt). When the victim starts the car there will be a loud pop.

Use the sticky part of a post-it note to fix it under someone’s computer mouse. Ensure that it covers the ball or the sensor on the bottom. When they use the mouse, it won’t work leaving them totally puzzled!

Take a photo of the loo, then plug your camera into a PC or TV (using TV out) and call the image up on screen. When you see people exiting the toilet laugh loud and point at your screen. The person will see the picture and think you saw them doing their business in the bog! Hehehe Leave a phone message for your chosen victim saying a Mr Lyon called and wants you to return his call. List the number for the local zoo. This will have you and your victim roaring with laughter – excuse the pun!

Place a balloon over the exhaust pipe of

On a person’s computer choose Start, Control Panel and find the Mouse option. On the Buttons tab change the configuration to switch the primary and secondary functions of the mouse. Now when the victim clicks with the mouse, everything will be backwards!

Hit other cars when reverse parking, just to check that they have left their hand brakes on. And if they haven’t, then ooops!

Homemade fresh food cooked in a wood oven

951 551 510 632 746 224

la Italia en la mesa laitaliaenlamesa

C/Campoamor 17, Archez

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Happy New Year You know it´s time to leave the party when...

overwhelming.

8. You've forgotten where you live.

1. You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are.

2. You've just had to get someone to help you pull your pants up in the ladies room.

3. You drop your 3am kebab on the floor, pick it up and carry on eating.

9. You yell at the bartender, who (you think) cheated you by giving you just tonic, but that's just because you can no longer taste the gin or vodka.

10. You start every conversation with a booming, "Don't take this the wrong way but..."

4. You start crying.

5. There are less than three hours before you're due to start work.

6. The man you're flirting with used to be your 5th grade teacher.

7. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing becomes strangely

11. You fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when you sit on it.

12. Your sloppy hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.

13. You're tired so you just sit on the floor (and why not!).

NEW MENU! NEW MENU! All day until 10pm - 7.95€ Special Dishes - Crispy Duck Orange Duck, Babi Pangang

Open 12.00 - 16.00 / 19.00 - 23.00 (Closed Mondays) Calle infante, 24 Torre del Mar (Thursday market road) Takeaway available Tel: 952 965 109 / 625 908 186

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Out And About In Torrox Torrox is the name of a collection of locations situated east of Torre Del Mar. This is a popular spot to live and holiday for both Spanish and other European nations with one big factor being it has the best climate in Europe. Each of these places have much to offer in their own right and collectively, they form a lovely area to live, work and relax.

Torrox Costa is located just 15km from Torre Del Mar. Torrox Costa has a totally different character and personality to its near neighbour. Like much of this coast, there’s an impressive promenade that sweeps the length of the beaches here. At its eastern end, just past the lighthouse, the beach is dog friendly and is a great spot to let your furry friend run along the shoreline.

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Torrox Pueblo is situated at the foothills of the Alpujarra mountains, a couple of miles inland from Torrox Costa. This is traditional white-washed village set in a green valley. There’s a traditional Spanish feel to this small village, despite it being the home to many people from other parts of the world.

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Located between Torrox Costa and Pueblo, Torrox Park is a large collection of urbanisations that are popular relocation spots with those who decide to make this area of Axarquía their home. There’s property to suit every budget and style: spacious villas, townhouses and apartments along with a large and well equipped mobile home park that allows all year living.

Whilst, in itself, Torrox Park, doesn’t offer much for day trippers, many visitors stay here as homes are frequently listed for holiday rental. It does provide all the services required for a smooth stay or relocation: bars, restaurants, supermarkets as well as doctors, chemists, hairdressers etc.

The combination of Torrox Costa, Pueblo and Park is a winning one. Each has their own distinct character but each are connected to form an excellent place to stay, explore and maybe even to live.

NAILS & BEAUTY

BY SUZI JACKSON For more information call us on: Paco & Antonia 952 535 417 :: 646 75 24 63 Or email us at: info@razahotel.com Or visit our website at: www.razahotel.com

952 530 122 / 711 047 122 within Rebeccah Curtis Beauty and Wellness

Open Tues - Sat 10am - 6pm Rebeccah Curtis Beauty and Wellness

Urb. Laguna Beach, Centro Comercial B, No.16 TORROX COSTA

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To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

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Out And About In Torrox Rebeccah Curtis Wellbeing Centre Beauty and Hairdressing and now incorporating Nails and Beauty by Suzi Jackson. Urb. Laguna Beach, Centro Commercial B, No. 16 Torrox Costa.

Open Tuesday - Saturday 10am - 6pm. Tel: 952 53 01 22 & 651 956 284 Raza Hotel have excellent facilities for your Dog, Cat or Rabbit, the perfect Hotel for your pets while you are away. In the countryside your dogs can enjoy secure outdoor play areas with toys provided & kennels with indoor sleeping area & outside run. For Cats, large catteries with cosy beds, toys & activities to keep them occupied. The Raza Hotel also offer a safe place to leave your Rabbit or Parrot as well as providing dog grooming services. Open 10am-7pm, 7 days a week. If you would like to visit, Paco & Antonio would be happy to show you the facilities. For more info call: 952 52 5417, 646 75 24 63, or email: info@razahotel.com or visit www.razahotel.com

HAPPY NEW YEAR From Torrox Shop Local - Support Your Local Community

If you have a business in Torrox that you would like to advertise to our readers, call to reserve your space.

664 210 468

The Sentinella Advertising This size from just 15 euros per month +IVA*

Call: 664 210 468 *conditions apply

BEAUTY AND WELLNESS CENTRE & HAIRDRESSING Open Tues - Sat 10am - 6pm Tel: 952 530 122 / 651 956 284 Rebeccah Curtis Beauty and Wellness Urb. Laguna Beach, Centro Comercial B, o N .16 TORROX COSTA

TK’s

Bar & Restaurant Laguna Beach - Torrox Costa Breakfasts, Snacks & Full Menu Specialising in Ribs, Steaks & Chicken Traditional Sunday Lunch Daily Tapas available Tom, Kerstin & Lisa would like to wish everyone a very Happy New Year!!

Tuesday - Saturday 10am - 8pm (Bookings only for after 8pm) Sunday 1pm - 5pm (Bookings advisable) Closed Monday For more info call: Thomas or Kerstin

Tel: 642 598 217

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The Unpublished Childrens books that never made it!

11. Some kittens can fly.

1. You are different and that's bad.

12. That's it, I'm putting you up for adoption.

2. The boy who died from eating all his vegetables.

13. Grandpa gets a casket.

14. The pop-up book of human anatomy.

3. Dad's new wife Robert.

15. Strangers have the best candy.

4. Fun four-letter words to know and share.

5. Hammers, screwdrivers and scissors: An I-can-do-it book.

16. Whining, kicking and crying to get your way.

17. You were an accident.

6. The kids' guide to hitchhiking.

18. Things rich kids have, but you never will.

7. Kathy was so bad her Mum stopped loving her.

19. Pop! goes the hamster... and other great microwave games.

8. Curious George and the high-voltage fence.

20. Your nightmares are real.

9. All cats go to hell.

21. Where would you like to be buried?

10. The little sissy who snitched.

22. Daddy drinks because you cry.

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Easy New Year Resolutions Here are some funny New Year´s Resolutions we can all actually keep this year: Gain 30 pounds. This would be much easier and more fun than losing 10.

Listen to your friends, then ignore their advice.

Create more than your fair share of carbon monoxide.

Laugh at inappropriate times.

Insist on taking everything personally. The world revolves around me doesn't it?

Lust in your mind, daily.

Always. No not always, never, yeah never, no not never... Sometimes... Okay occasionally be courteous.

After a couple of drinks go ahead and tell that raunchy joke to mixed company, then regret it the next day.

Eat McDonalds 3 times a week.

Put things off, in other words procrastinate more.. Begin sometime next year if possible.

Eat, sleep, breath, and void yourself of waste and gases when necessary.

“We wish all our patients a very Happy New Year˝

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Are You Skint Now Top signs you´re broke after Christmas 1. American Express calls and says; "Definitely leave home without it."

5. You finally clean your house, hoping to find loose change.

6. McDonalds supplies you with all your kitchen condiments.

7. You go back for seconds at communion.

8. You rob the kiddies piggy banks!

2. Your idea of a 7 course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant.

3. You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.

4. You give blood everyday, just for the orange juice.

From all of us at The Sentinella Axarquia Edition x

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Commentators More careless comments that have aired during the beautiful game!

‘Forest have now lost six matches without winning.’ David Coleman ‘Strangely in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer’ David Acfield ‘I predicted in August that Celtic would reach the final. Now, on the day, I stand by that prediction.’ Archie MacPherson ‘And with just 4 minutes gone the score is already 0-0.’ Ian Darke

‘The ageless Dennis Wise, now in his thirties.’

Martin Tyler

‘Poland nil, England nil, though England are now looking the better value for their nil.’

Barry Davies

‘Neil Sullivan has stopped absolutely everything they have thrown at him…

Wimbledon 1, Manchester United 1.’

Mike Ingham

‘It’s now 1-1 an exact reversal of the scoreline on Saturday.’ Radio 5 Live

‘Paolo Di Canio is definitely capable of scoring the goal he scored.’ Bryan Robson

‘Peru score their third and it’s 3-1 to Scotland.’ David Coleman

‘As I’ve said before and I’ve said in the past.’

Kenny Dalglish

Broomfield Construction & Property Maintenance All aspects of building work undertaken Plastering Plumbing Tiling Rendering Kitchens Terraces Bathrooms House Reforms Wet Rooms

Call Matthew: 711 002 689 Urb. El Mirador de la Axarquia, 25 Vivienda, Alcaucin Email: broomfieldmatthew@gmail.com www.broomfieldconstruction.es

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f o Z ls A cktai Co

s tail ockL C r ula ith op ing w p n st mo gin he es be t e to on uid e the g t r rea e a A g Her Lemon Drop Martini Granulated sugar, for rimming Lemon wedge, for rimming 2 ounces vodka 1 ounce freshly squeezed lemon juice 1/2 to 3/4 ounce simple syrup, to taste Lemon twist, for garnish

Lynchburg Lemonade 1 1/2 ounces Tennessee whiskey 1 ounce triple sec 1 ounce lemon juice 4 ounces lemon-lime soda Lemon slices, for garnish Lavender Martini 2 ounces gin 1/2 ounce dry vermouth 1/2 ounce lavender simple syrup 2 dashes orange bitters Lavender sprig, for garnish

1 lime, zested 375 millilitres vodka, about 1 1/2 cups 1 cup simple syrup For the Lychee Syrup: 1 cup sugar 1 cup water 1/2 cup peeled and pitted lychee fruit For the Cocktail: 1 1/2 ounces vodka 1 1/2 ounces lychee liqueur, or lychee syrup 1 splash freshly squeezed lime juice Pitted lychee, for garnish Lady Liberty 2 ounces light rum 1/4 ounce Green Chartreuse 1/4 ounce maraschino liqueur 1 ounce lime juice 1 ounce orgeat syrup 1 dash absinthe Lagoon Punch (below) 1 bottle lychee liqueur 1 1/2 cups blue curaçao liqueur 1 liter club soda Orange slices, for garnish

Lemon Drop 1 1/2 ounces chilled vodka Lemon wedge Granulated sugar Long Beach Iced Tea 1/2 ounce gin 1/2 ounce light rum 1/2 ounce tequila 1/2 ounce vodka 1/2 ounce triple sec 1 ounce sour mix 2 ounces cranberry juice Lemon slice, for garnish, optional Long Island Iced Tea 1/2 ounce gin 1/2 ounce light rum 1/2 ounce vodka 1/2 ounce blanco tequila 1/2 ounce triple sec 1 ounce sour mix 1 to 2 ounces cola, to taste Lemon wedge, for garnish Lychee Martini For the Lychee Liqueur: 2 cups lychee fruit, about 380 grams

Leap Year 2 ounces gin 1/2 ounce sweet vermouth 1/2 ounce brandy-based orange liqueur 1/4 ounce lemon juice Lemon twist, for garnish Lavender Sapphire Collins 1 1/2 ounces gin 3/4 ounce freshly squeezed lemon juice 1/2 ounce lavender syrup 3 to 5 ounces club soda, to taste Lemon wedge, for garnish Love Potion #9 1/2 cup ice 1/2 cup fresh or frozen strawberries 1 scoop vanilla ice cream 1 ounce vodka 1/2 ounce white crème de cacao liqueur Strawberry, for garnish

Healthy Food with Art Gallery

Saturday & Sunday Live Music from 2.30pm ................................................

January’s Art Exhibition Call for more info ................................................

Kitchen open midday - 10pm

You must try our draught beer from our very own Bodega

Open 9am - 10.30pm Closed Tuesdays Paseo Maritimo, El Morche, Torrox

Puente don Manuel Sabi and his team would like to wish everyone a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Opening hours Tuesday - Sunday 13:00 - 16.00 / 18.00 - 23.00

Barriada Buena Vista, Puente don Manuel, Alcaucin Tel: 952 510 963 Mob: 616 942 212

Dry January Does life without alcohol seem unbearable?

The holiday season is almost over, fun has been had and we’ve all overindulged with food and alcohol. Most people will be looking at a January of moderation, a chance to get stuck into the New Year’s resolutions by eating healthily, a bit of exercise and cutting back on the booze.

What if you struggle to cut back on alcohol, you realise that a dry January isn’t an option you can or want to contemplate.

Not drinking seems to be the worst idea in the world, and what, or where, would you get your pleasure? Deep down you know things can’t carry on as they are. The consequences of your drinking are catching up with you.

The hangovers are killing you; maybe you are starting to drink earlier, or once you pick up a drink you don’t know how it will end.

Physically your body isn’t doing well, shakes in the morning, struggling to eat properly, or other health worries that are only getting worse. Relationships are suffering, family members are commenting on your drinking, invites out with friends are drying up because it always seems to end in disaster, and when you try and control or stop the alcohol you are just angry and irritable.

There is a warning flagging in your brain, a thought that maybe you have a problem with alcohol, but another part is telling you that you can’t consider not drinking anymore, that life without booze would be unbearable.

This isn’t true, there is an alternative, a solution that millions of people worldwide have used to combat issues with problem drinking.

Here a couple of members of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) talk about how they found an answer to their struggles with alcohol, and how their lives have turned around.

“My name is Clifford and when I came into AA, I thought my life was over. I was in debt to the tune of hundreds of euros, owed to bars, clubs, and friends. I was dirty and greasy; people didn’t want me around them.

My family could no longer deal with me, and I’d just lost my best friend to alcoholism. I was 25 years old, and I had no future and no hope.

In just five months my life has transformed completely. Things changed the moment I walked into my first meeting, I found a crazy bunch of people who constantly make me laugh and who will love and support me through anything. I have real friends now.

My life has meaning and purpose. Whatever idea you may have of AA in your head, get rid of it because it is not what you expect at all. It is life changing and it makes me happy to be alive every single day!”

“My name is Amelia. I was driven to AA by my loneliness, depression, and self-sabotage. On the days when I was drinking, I was full of darkness, and it was slowly killing me. When I wasn’t drinking it was worse, whether I was hungover or not I was always lonely and sad. I could see no way out.

I am 35 years old; it took me over 10 years to get into AA. It was suggested to me in my early 20s, but I let every excuse stop me from attending meetings. I was sure that my life would be over - little did I understand I had no life before, all I did was think about alcohol. Drinking, not drinking, planning my drinking, trying to stay sober and all the time I was so unhappy. AA has shown me a new way to live, how to manage my life. I now have hope for the future, all my relationships have improved, and my day-to-day life is easier. I am so grateful.”

There are meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous, with friendly people who will understand, held daily throughout the Costa del Sol. Meetings are free to attend, and anyone who thinks they may have a problem with alcohol is welcome.

Call the English-speaking AA helpline for support: +34 600 379 110 or visit the website for help and information: www.aacostadelsol.com

CALL THE AA HELPLINE FOR SUPPORT +350 200 73774 Gibraltar or +34 600 379 110 Costa del Sol or visit the website for help & information

www.aacostadelsol.com

www.andalucia4you.net Calle Pintor Cipriano Maldonado 7A TORRE DEL MAR Tel: 952 547 554 / 680 210 414

info@buyahomespain.com www.buyahomespain.com

Email: contact@andalucia4you.net Tel: +34 952 72 08 32 634 35 70 26 Avda. Andalucía 125 Caleta de Vélez

Your specialists on the Axarquia Coast

C / Infante 23, Edif. Faro 1, bajo, TORRE DEL MAR Tel./Fax. 0034 / 952 54 70 76 Mobile: 658 93 31 87 e-mail: info@suissehome.com www.suissehome.com

Country and Village Houses For Sale

Cómpeta

Torrox

Estate Agents!

THIS SPACE FOR JUST 180 euros for the year!!

Call: 664 210 468

Office/Home: +34 952 55 77 33 Mobile: +34 606 010 580 unspoiltandalusia@gmail.com www.unspoiltandalusia.com

Torre del Mar

+34 952 51 61 78 +34 952 53 91 25 +34 952 54 18 86

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

wFamily Doctor

wGynaecology

wNurse

wChiropody

wNutritionist

wTraumatology

wOdontology

wPhysiology

wPsychology

wAestethic Medicine

wCovid Testing

wDriving Licences

Torrox Costa - Carretera de Almeria, 30 Tel: 951 430 879 / 651 068 833 --------Nerja - Plaza Rambla del Río Chillar, 7, Tel: 952 540 000 / 628 313 089

www.clinicasmorenoclavero.es

Plumbing

By Chris Repairs - Replacements - Reforms

wTOILETS LEAKING? wGrab Rails wDRIPPING TAPS? wBlocked Wastes wSHOWER PROBLEMS? wWater Filters wReplaced/installed wHOT WATER PROBLEMS? wBathroom Ventilation - Solar Powered

Prevent Mould & Damp Free

ESTABLISHED IN 1982 Call Chris on: 674 617 379 NO CALL OUT FEE!

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

53

Customer Reviews For BluCee Real Estate BluCee Real Estate are a dynamic team whose friendly and professional approach to selling properties along the coast from Málaga to Nerja and inland has gained them glowing reviews. BluCee are proactive agents who work hard for their clients, always with a smile!

If you have received a good service from one of the businesses advertised in The Sentinella Magazine LET US KNOW ABOUT IT! We will publish your comments so our readers and business owners hear about it.

See main advert on page 11

LET’S SPREAD THE WORD

Here are a selection of reviews customers are saying about BluCee

Email: sales@thesentinella.com

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The Most Dangerous Toys Ever Made You could be forgiven for thinking that we're all living in a society overrun by ludicrous health and safety regulations.

But if you needed evidence of why we've ended up wrapped in red tape, then the best place to start is with the humble toy – and how lethal they can be. Many have either been pulled from shelves, recalled in their thousands, or out-and-out banned; and in hindsight you are forced to gawp at the sheer ignorance involved in their release onto an unsuspecting world.

Below are the 4 most dangerous toys ever...

Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab Year: 1951-1952 What was it? The ultimate educational set that taught children how to get the most out of, erm, Uranium.

This $50 (about £440 in today's money) science kit featured four lots of uranium ore for your beloved sprog to dabble with. To ensure that these weren't duds, you could use the Geiger counter included to measure the ore's radioactivity and order more uranium using a coupon. And to round out the experience, a book entitled 'Prospecting for Uranium' was included, with details of a US government initiative that paid $10,000 (equivalent to almost £90,000 today) if little Johnny discovered any uranium deposits in the garden.

Lawn Darts Year: 1950s-1988 What was it? A popular American garden game that saw players throw large darts up into the air, hoping to land them in a circular target to score points.

It did what?!? Said darts were big, heavy and had sharp metal tips. While they were banned from US toy departments and stores in 1970, and featured labels telling parents to keep them away from children, the darts wereinevitably still finding their way into the hands (and heads) of over enthusiastic

kids. After an estimated 6,100 injuries, and the deaths of two children, lawn darts were finally banned in their metal-pointed form in the USA. Aqua Dots/Bindeez Year: 2007 What was it? An arts and crafts set that lets kids make designs out of small beads, and then 'glue' them together with a simple spray of water. It did what?!? A massiveselling product (and Australia's toy of the year 2007), a harmless glue compound was supposed to be used to coat the beads.

However, it was reported in 2007 that in some cases the wrong compound was applied during manufacture, and instead the affected beads were coated in a toxic chemical that, once ingested by a child, could produce the same effects as taking the date-rape drug GHB; cue children in the US and Australia starting to suffer appalling symptoms, in some case falling into comas. Thankfully all the tiny tots fully recovered, and the toys were pulled from shelves - over 4 million from America alone. After some strict revisions and re-testing to the chemicals used, the product was renamed and re-released in 2008.

Sky Dancer Year: 2000 What was it? A flying doll that kids could shoot up into the air using the doll's launcher.

It did what?!?

Unfortunately, the doll had a horrible habit of being “unpredictable” once airborne, happily flying its way into wide-eyed adults and children alike, causing a reported 150 injuries, including one broken rib and some temporary blindness.

Nearly nine million Sky Dancers were recalled in 2000 because of the doll's kamikaze tendencies.

Be careful out there!!!

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Internet Letters Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend.

In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programmes, such as Romance and Personal Attention and then installed undesirable programs such as Cricket, Football, Golfing and Continuous TV. Conversation no longer runs, and House Cleaning simply crash the system. I've tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate ———————————————————— Dear Desperate, First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband is an Operating System. Please enter the command: 'http: I Thought You Loved Me.html' and try to download Tears.

Don't forget to install the Guilt update. If that application works as designed, Husband should then automatically run the applications Jewellery and Flowers, but remember… over-use of the above application can cause Husband to default to Grumpy Silence, Garden Shed or Beer. Beer is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program.

These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband.

In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. It also tends to work better running one task at a time. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food and Hot Lingerie.

Good Luck, Tech Support

For Free specialist days in January Please call for details

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57

New Year Quotes Famous quotes I don’t know where I’m going from here, but I promise it won’t be boring.

David Bowie You’ll never get bored when you try something new. There’s really no limit to what you can do.

Dr. Seuss Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.

Oscar Wilde Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.

Albert Einstein The best is yet to come.

Frank Sinatra In our perfect ways. In the ways we are beautiful. In the ways we are human. We are here. Happy New Year’s. Let’s make it ours.

Beyonce

Breakfasts, Lunches, Homemade Desserts Extensive menu Veggie and Vegan options Josh, Mark & Sheila wish everyone a very Happy New Year!!!

OPEN FROM THE 10th JANUARY

Simply the Best Full English!

Tel: 640 569 988 Avda. Andalucia, 34, Torre del Mar (opposite old Police Station)

Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.

Oprah Winfrey You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

C.S. Lewis Every single year, we’re a different person. I don’t think we’re the same person all of our lives.

Steven Spielberg Your success and happiness lies in you.

Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.

Helen Keller What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven’t even happened yet.

Anne Frank

Sales I Rentals I Management Vélez-Málaga

For Sale

S3-705

Lovely 3 Bed 2 Bath Corner Townhouse

(134m² built, 200m² plot). Entrance porch, large living room, a f/f kitchen/diner, WC, 3 good size bedrooms and a family bathroom, small garden, underground car park & storage

Sales Price: 141,000¤ (NEW!)

Comares

For Sale

S3-706

Charming 3 Bed Sunny Country Villa, (107m² built, 4,451m² plot), entrance hall, lounge/dining room, hallway, 3 beds, family bathroom, storeroom (could be second bathroom) second lounge upstairs with large terrace, landscaped gardens, terraces, splash pool, variety of fruit trees & marvellous views

Sales Price: 185,000¤ (NEW!)

Almayate

For Sale

S4-328

Spacious 4 Bed 3 Bath Townhouse

(155m² built), living room, f/f kitchen with courtyard, 4 beds, 2 baths, spacious area that could be more accommodation, amazing sea views.

Sales Price: 178,000¤ (NEW!)

Calle Pintor Cipriano Maldonado 7A, (opp osite bus st ation) TOR R E DEL M A R - Tel: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414

Email: info@bu yaho mespain.co m

Torre del Mar

Sales I Rentals I Management For Sale S4-327

Large 4 Bed 2 Bath Apartment (120m² built), located near town centre, close to all amenities. It is on the first floor of a complex with community pool and padel courts.

The apartment comprises an entrance hall, spacious lounge/dining room, long f/f kitchen, 4 bedrooms and 2 full bathrooms and a very big terrace

Sales Price: 279,000¤ (NEW!) La Viñuela

For Sale

S2-444

Modern 2 Bed Townhouse (72m² built), in quiet urbanisation in La Viñuela. Accommodation: hall, f/f kitchen with new appliances, large living room with fireplace, 2 double beds, new family bathroom. Lovely sunny terrace with great views over the mountains, small garden, terrace, community pool

Sales Price: 129,900¤ (NEW!) Alcaucín

For Rent

R3-284

Superb 3 Bed 2 Bath Detached House (120m² built), walking distance to all amenities & village pool.

Accommodation: lounge/dining room, f/f kitchen, utility room, 3 double beds & 2 baths, private driveway, underground garage with parking for 3 cars, terraces to front & rear with a large balcony upstairs

Rental Price: 500¤ per month

w w w.buyahomespain.com

‘We wish all our friends and clients a Happy, Healthy & Prosperous 2022’

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Saucy Postcards

Plumbing and Tiling Axarquia Slightly less able to climb in and out the bath?

Why not remove the bath and install a luxury shower?

Folding shower seats - Anti-slip trays - Walk-in showers

30 years of 1st Class Installations Call / Whats-app / Text Chris on: 674 617 379 E-Mail: plumbingandtilingaxarquia@gmail.com

MODERN

VINTAGE

RUSTIC

ELEGANT

SHABBY

Quality Bespoke Wood Furniture Tables, benches, kitchen doors, work surfaces, bureaus, built-in wardrobes and more...

Any size, colour or design for home, gardens and businesses.

Constructed for stability and durability with a quality service you can trust

Tel: 679 171 008 woodworkwes www.weswoodwork.com

PRACTICAL

STYLISH

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Your Design Brought to Life

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Manure... An Interesting Fact Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything for export had to be transported by ship. It was also before the invention of commercial fertilizers, so large shipments of manure were quite common. It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, not only did it become heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by-product is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen.

Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM! Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening. After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the instruction 'Stow high in transit' on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so

that any water that came into the hold would not touch this "volatile" cargo and start the production of methane. Thus evolved the term ' S.H.I.T ' , (Stow High In Transit),……… …. “So it’s really not a swear word”, which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day. You probably did not know the true history of this word.

Neither did I!

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Become King Applications have opened to become 'king' and landlord of remote British island A council has launched a search to find the next island 'monarch' and pub landlord for one of England's most remote watering holes.

Applications are being sought for someone to manage the unique Ship Inn and also run tiny Piel Island, on which it sits, off the coast of Cumbria.

The Ship Inn is over 300 years old and tradition says each new landlord is crowned 'King of Piel', sits in an ancient chair, wears a helmet and holds a sword while alcohol is poured over their head.

The island's future - off the southern tip of the Furness Peninsula - was discussed last week

by Barrow Borough Council's Overview and

Scrutiny Committee.

Committee vice-chair Cllr Frank Cassidy said: "It's important the right people are installed, people with sound local knowledge, a feel for the island and its history."

Sandra Baines, head of visitor economy and culture at the council, said it was "very much about preserving its beauty, its natural habitat". But she added there were also potential drawbacks of life on the island and it is "not the dream people might think it is".

While Chris Jones, the council's head of programme management and climate change, said: "There are significant constraints to living and working on Piel Island and people need to think about that."

Supporters who started a petition to save the island, called it "the jewel in the crown" of the area and a "vital part of our heritage".

The future of the 50-acre island Piel Island will next be considered by the borough council's executive committee in January.

Service, installation & repairs.

Supply and installation of all makes and models including Daikin, Mitsubishi and Fujitsu.

Best prices guaranteed Polar Air Conditioning - First to be built on reputation, reliability and recommendation.

DAIKIN & MITSUBISHI INVERTERS SUPPLIED & FITTED FROM €750 Call: 655 211 192 www.polarair.eu info@polarair.eu 633 886 921

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Film

R

w e i v e

building an android called Jeff (a motioncaptured Caleb Landry Jones) which has a Borat/Stephen Hawking electronic voice. Jeff goofily learns how to walk, to drive Finch’s RV and to understand the world – and his main task will be to look after Finch’s other special friend, a dog called Goodyear, when Finch is dead.

CH

FIN

Written by: Craig Luck Starring: Tom Hanks, Caleb Landry Jones Running time: 115 minutes Finch is a 2021 American post-apocalyptic science fiction drama film directed by Miguel Sapochnik from a spec script written by Craig Luck and Ivor Powell. In this film, Tom Hanks takes his dog and a robot out on the road in a post-apocalyptic world — curiously, it lacks any sense of danger and it undoubtedly boasts some amazing visual effects work.

Tom Hanks plays Finch, an ageing, unwell inventor, who is perhaps the only person left alive on Earth after a human-made environmental catastrophe destroyed the ozone layer and left cities half-buried in heat and dust. Now Finch scavenges for canned food by day and spends his evenings

So the character dynamic in this film is odd: it’s basically a three-way cute-off between Finch, Jeff and Goodyear and there are no other humans in the movie, except for the ones Finch remembers in harrowing flashbacks. While in their RV, Finch, Jeff and Goodyear appear at one stage to be pursued by someone in a car, and then… Well, these people, whoever they are, seem to just go away.

Our heroes don’t run out of water or food and there are no battery-life issues with Jeff.

At the very end, there is the crucial question of whether Goodyear can learn to love and trust Jeff the way he loves Finch, and it is Jeff who we are supposed to find sympathetic and relatable.

Star Rating ***/*****

Los Naranjos

Bar Restaurant Alcaucín

Breakfasts, Menus, Specials, BBQs....

Menu del dia 8€ - Saturdays at noon - Paella Goat and Lamb are our specialities!

Take away available Excellent food inside and out!

Under table heating inside!

Spectacular terrace with wonderful views!!

Open 8am - 4am (closed Wednesdays) Calle de la Fuente, Alcaucín (under bank next to post office)

Tel: 951 041 535 Mob: 619 390 146 608 553 075 We speak English

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Annoying Little Niggles Don't you just hate it…

When people make out they have silver cars.

Um no, just admit it, that is in fact grey. You really are as boring as Joe Biden.

At the beach, when sand gets all caked around the top of your bottle of suncream.

When you attempt to speak Spanish only to be met by a baffled Spaniard who has clearly not understood your phrase, which involved a 20 minute rehearsal period beforehand.

At the supermarket when things don't have prices.

When you walk under balconies and the dwellers’ plant water drips on to your head.

Well at least we assume it's plant water, but who really knows eh?!

When the one time we get stuck out and urgently need to make a phone call, we happen to forget the mobile, or realise a little too late that the battery is dead.

When people who can’t sing choose to sing.

When the 'low ink' message pops up on your PC screen.

When a dog sniffs his chum’s mess then licks you. Nice!

When you receive a text message only to find out it is some load of rubbish from your operating network.

When people decide to rearrange their furniture in the apartment directly above yours at 4 o’clock in the morning.

Persianas / Shutters Repairs - Replacements

wSLATS DAMAGED? wBROKEN CORDS?

wMOTOR PROBLEMS? wSHUTTERS NOT OPENING OR CLOSING?

Established 1982

Call Chris on: 674 617 379 NO CALL OUT FEE!

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Points Of Contention A few examples of contentious subjects Let's put all retired folk in jail and the criminals in a nursing home. This way the seniors would have access to showers, hobbies and walks. They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment and wheelchairs, etc. and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly if they fell or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them. A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, pijamas and legal aid would be free, on request. Private, secure rooms for all with an exercise outdoor yard with gardens. Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The "criminals" would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised.

Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week.

Live in a tiny room and pay £900.00 per month and have no hope of ever getting out.

TRAPICHE MARKET Every Tuesday 9.30am - 1pm Come and enjoy a relaxing morning at the Los Jardines del Trapiche, THE nicest market venue on the Costa.

Back on 11th January SERVING BACON and SAUSAGE SANDWICHES FROM 9.30am JUST 2€

Take the A-272 turning onto the Vélez-Málaga road A-356. Turn off at El Cruce restaurant towards Benamargosa. Over the roundabout and we are on the left just before the private airfield

Call Anita on: 627 877 164

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com

Faceless

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69

De Cotta Law Do I need a lawyer when I sell my property?

The simple answer to this question is Yes. Why? Firstly, the taxation on sales of property is case specific; whilst you may be given an estimate by the estate agents, each particular sale should be reviewed by a lawyer.

Secondly, with the licencing of rural properties now an important issue, you don´t want to find monies are retained indefinitely unless you understand why and have a lawyer who follows up on these matters.

For British clients there can be the additional worry about converting the funds into sterling from euros. If you are considering selling, it is a good idea to get legal advice early on to avoid any unexpected problems on the day.

In a number of transactions between British people, we have been able to undertake the transaction in sterling provided the Notary is satisfied they have evidence of the payment for the sale. If there is a mortgage on the property which will be paid off on sale, your lawyer will ensure that the bank is available on the day of signing the deed to cancel the mortgage. All other debts such as Community of Owners bills, utilities etc can be settled on the day or retentions made to cover these costs.

For non-residents there is also a 3% retention on the sale price which is on account of CGT. If you have not made a capital gain and are up to date with your non-resident taxes you can apply for the return of this 3%. Your lawyer can arrange this but in some cases

you may have to wait some months before the return of the funds. There is still some uncertainty about the obligation to pay plus valia to the Town Hall when you make a loss on the sale.

If you are not able to be in Spain on the day of sale you can grant lawyers a Spanish form Power of attorney to act for you. A lawyer instructed by you can ensure all of the retentions are correct and provide you with an individual tailored service.

For more information contact De Cotta Law on 952 527014 or email: info@decottalaw.net See main advert below

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& t i Fru Factsuats Veg Kumq A kumquat is an edible, orange-like fruit that is native to Southeast Asia.

Though the citrus fruit resembles an orange in shape and colour, it's actually quite small— a little bigger than a cherry tomato.

to fruit salads or fruit bowls.

Kumquats can be an attractive garnish on a platter.

They are slow-growing evergreen shrubs or short trees that stand 2.5 to 4.5 meters (8 to 15 ft) tall, with dense branches, sometimes bearing small thorns.

The English name “kumquat” comes from a Cantonese word that means “golden orange” or “golden tangerine.”

Kumquats are a unique citrus fruit as the entire fruit is edible, including the peel, flesh, and seeds.

Typically, kumquats are round or oblong.

Kumquats are an excellent source of fibre to regulate the digestive tract and vitamin C to strengthen the immune system and reduce inflammation.

As in oranges, kumquats are also very rich in Vitamin C. 100g of fruit provides 47.9 or 73% of RDA (Recommended daily allowances).

The fruits also contain manganese, vitamin A to maintain healthy organ functioning, calcium to protect bones and teeth, and provide lower amounts of iron, zinc, potassium and vitamin E. Kumquats taste best if they gently rolled or squeezed before being eaten.

Fresh kumquat slices are great when added

Early to bed, Early to rise, Work like hell, And ADVERTISE! Laurence J. Peter

It doesn’t have to be expensive.

Listings from as little as 60 euros per year!!

Call: 664 210 468 Email: sales@thesentinella.com

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71

True Stories The following are letters sent to newspapers My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a 5€ note. Our total was 4.20€, so I also handed her twenty cents. She said, 'You gave me too much money.'

I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me 1€ back.'

She sighed and went to get the Manager who asked me to repeat my request.

I did so, and he handed me back the 20 cents and said 'We're sorry but we do not do that kind of thing.'

The clerk then proceeded to give me back 80 cents in change..

Do not confuse the clerks at McDonald's.

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the Highways Department to request the removal of the 'DEER CROSSING' sign on our road.

The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars on this stretch of road! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

------------------------------------------------------------My daughter went to a local Kentucky Fried Chicken and ordered a Taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'

He said he was sorry, but they only had Iceberg Lettuce.

------------------------------------------------------------I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'

To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'

He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

------------------------------------------------------------The traffic light on the corner buzzes when it's on red and safe to cross the road. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged friend of mine.

She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.

I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

Businesses Chatelin ortopedia & pedicurist practice They are a company with over 30 years experience in the orthopedic sector. Linda is a qualified pedicurist and Henry is a certified prothesis and orthesis maker, for all your inlays and sport inlays, corset-knee, ankle and wrist supports, wheelchairs, walking aids, beds, rehabilitation articles etc...open Monday - Thursday 10am 2pm and 3pm - 6pm. call: 695 481 082 or 658 773 857

Starcar in Nerja for all your car repair needs: bodywork painting, service, pre I.T.V. check, air-conditioning, tyres, brakes, clutch etc. Also car transfers. Find them at Avda Alcalde Antonio Villasclaras just up from the BP garage as you are leaving Nerja on the right hand side and they are below the gym. Call Jonathan who speaks English on 637 801 325 Dentadanés Dental Clinic offer top-quality Scandinavian dental care at competitive prices, a successful concept that has been used since the clinic was established in Maro (Nerja) in 1991.

We have two dentists, (one Danish female, one English male) ready to solve all your dental problems. Please visit our website at www.dentadanes.com for a full list of treatments & prices as well as directions to and pictures of the clinic. Open Monday to Friday 10am - 5pm including all summer months. We speak English, Danish/Scandinavian, German and Spanish.

Tel: 952 52 96 66. wHoliday & Winter Rentals wEnglish, French and Spanish Speaking w1 to 3 Bedroom Apartments & Villas wBooking via WhatsApp, Facebook or Website Visit our website: www.nerjabeachholidays.com to view our range of properties and enjoy our Virtual Tour Contact Karine: +34 644 793 168 Email: admin@nerjabeachholidays.com

CHATELIN ORTOPEDIA & FULLY QUALIFIED PEDICURIST wCorsets & knee, ankle and wrist supports

High Level Pedicurist

General care and advice wFor all inlays (inc. Sports) for gorgeous feet, because we care about your feet as much as you do! wWheelchairs, walking aids & beds MORE than just a pedicure, wRehabilitaion articles, etc. look good, FEEL GREAT!!

Opening Hours: Monday - Thursday 10am - 2pm / 3pm - 6pm Calle la Cruz, 60 Nerja Tel: 695 481 082 or 658 773 857 Email: henrychatelin@hotmail.com

In

Nerja

Do you need some expert advice in Holiday Accommodation? Nerja Beach Holidays are waiting to do just this! Visit their properties directly via their Virtual tour on www.nerjabeachholidays.com. They offer all kinds of holiday and winter rentals. They speak English, French and Spanish to help you along the way. They have an extensive range of 1 to 3 bed apartments and villas. Booking can be made via Whatsapp, FB, Website, Email or phone.

Nerja Beach Holidays have it all covered! Contact Karine +34 644 793 168 / admin@nerjabeachholidays.com Erica is now settled in her role working alongside Walli Ron hair salon in Nerja. You can make an appoinment at Calle Almirante Ferrándiz 10 (Cristo) Nerja. (Down the passage in front of the Coviran Supermarket - the Post Office street. Call: 952 523 966 La llave de oro, Calle Granada 88, Nerja, 952 524 651. Locksmith 24hrs emergency service, 606 939 929, opening & repairing safes, armoured doors, authorised technical service, key cutting, supplier for quality padlocks, safes & other security products.

Happy New Year 2022

incorporating

Stylists Calle Cristo 10, NERJA (Post office street) (down side in front of Coviran Supermarket) Tel: 952 523 966 - Mob: 610 876 127

LOCKSMITH Home Service covering all Axarquia Calle Granada, 88 NERJA Tel: 952 52 4651

24 HOURS 606 939 929

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Plusvalia Tax - Temporarily Cancelled The tax for the increase in the value of urban land (IITVTNU), better known as Plus Valia (or the municipal capital gains Tax), which is charged and calculated by the local Town Hall when a property is sold, inherited, donated, or gifted. The tax is levied based on the Town Hall´s revaluation of the land on which a property is built. This is calculated on the difference between the value of the land when the property was purchased and their revaluation of the value when the property is transferred by sale, inheritance, donation, or gift.

On 26th October 2021 the Constitutional Court decided to annul this tax that sellers were required to pay and therefore opened the possibility of avoiding this abusive tax, for those transfer operations signed before the

beginning of November 2021, where this tax has not yet been paid.

The Constitutional Tribunal has declared the method used to calculate the base rate for this tax as unconstitutional, so we recommend that all sellers who recently transferred their property, or who have received the demand for this tax, to contact a lawyer who can study the case and the possibility of not paying it.

For any doubts or questions about this tax, please do not hesitate to contact us.

Tel 952 901 225 E-mail mail@marbellasolicitors.com www.marbellasolicitors.com See main advert opposite

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Getting Older The benefits of growing older

11. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run into a burning building.

4. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

5. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

12. You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

13. You have a party and the neighbours don't even realise it.

14. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

15. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

16. You sing along with elevator music.

6. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service.

9. There's nothing left to learn the hard way.

10. Things you buy now won't wear out.

17. Your eyes won't get much worse.

18. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

19. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

Quality Kitchens

Monday - Friday 9am - 7.30pm C/Los Prados, 4 TORRE DEL MAR Tel: 952 541 89 605 932 060

www.idecocina.com

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Recipe Of The Month Chicken And Leek Filo Pie Ingredients 75g (3oz) unsalted butter 2 large leeks, finely sliced 2 large carrots, finely chopped 1 tbsp. plain flour 400ml (14floz) hot chicken stock 2 tsp. Dijon mustard 3 tbsp. double cream 350g (12oz) cooked chicken (leftovers are fine), cut into chunks 2 tbsp. chopped fresh parsley 12 sheets filo pastry Method 1. Melt 25g (1oz) butter in a medium pan over a low heat. Cook the leeks and carrots for

15min until softened but not coloured. Stir in the flour and cook for 1min. Gradually add the stock, stirring constantly, until the sauce is smooth. Simmer for 10min.

2. Stir in the mustard and double cream and check the seasoning. Add the cooked chicken and chopped parsley and tip into a 1.7 litre (3 pint) ovenproof dish.

3. Preheat the oven to 200ºC (180ºC fan) mark 6. Melt the remaining 50g (2oz) butter in a small pan. Unroll the filo pastry and cover with a clean, damp tea-towel. Put a single sheet on a board and brush with a little of the butter. Roughly scrunch up the pastry and put on top of the chicken mixture. Continue with the remaining filo until the top of the pie is covered.

4. Bake for 20-25min until the filo is golden and the chicken mixture is bubbling.

Enjoy!

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New Year Quotes Wise words from people around the world...

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions.

Joey Adams A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Author Unknown Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self-assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle. Eric Zorn The proper behaviour all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to. P. J. O’Rourke Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.

Bill Vaughan Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.

Author Unknown An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

Bill Vaughan People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.

Author Unknown Never tell your resolution beforehand, or it's twice as onerous a duty.

John Selden He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; He who makes one is a fool.

F. M. Knowles Good resolutions are simply cheques that men draw on a bank where they have no account.

Oscar Wilde

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ss e l e Us ts ey are unsgel!ess Fac As always btuht amazi

Your mobile phone has 10 times more bacteria on it than a toilet seat.

The King of Hearts is the only clean shaven king in a pack of cards.

Barbie’s full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts. Ken is Kenneth Sean Carson No number from 1 to 999 contains the letter a.

Dragonflies have six legs but can’t walk, because their legs are too weak.

If you plug your nose, an apple, potato and onion all taste the same.

A giraffe can go longer without water than a camel can.

It would take a sloth one month to travel for one mile.

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

A snail can sleep for more than three years at a time.

Honey is one of the best cough suppressants.

The pig has the longest orgasm observed in mammals.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

One single teaspoon of honey represents the life work of 12 bees.

Bees have 5 eyes, 3 small eyes on the top of a bee’s head, and 2 larger ones in front.

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

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cs i P ny ies n u F unn F

Air Conditioning Refridgeration HEATING - COOLING - SOLAR HEAT PUMPS - SALES SERVICE - MAINTENANCE Constant climates using the latest inverter technology Covering all the Axarquia region

City & Guilds qualified engineers with over 30 years experience Tel: 951 242 183 Mobile: 663 728 798 cooltecservices@hotmail.es www.cooltecservices.com cooltec air conditioning services-nerja

Alcalá Transport Providing Man & Van service to and from the UK twice a month (two vans) wReferences available wCommercial & private work wFull & part loads wNo obligation quotes w10 years working in Spain wFully insured, Spanish registered company Call Colin on 608 085 700 or 0044 7936 886 822 Email: alcalamav@gmail.com

www.vetiverspain.com Erosion Solutions

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Items For Sale / Wanted I WILL COLLECT FREE of charge all your used clothing, bric-a-brac, pots and pans, books, toys, CD´s garden pots, tools, pieces of furniture or anything else you are throwing out whilst you are cleaning.

Call me on 625 319 323 Jacqui PEAVEY BANDIT 112, TRANSTUBE SERIES. Gigged once. Immaculate condition.

220€ Call 634 340 080 or email paulvox112@gmail.com JOKE BOOK Oh My Good Gawld 2 Yours truly has put together the 2nd joke book containing 84 pages of solid jokes & funnies. No pictures, no spaces, just pure unadulterated laughter. 5€ Call: 664 689 138 NEW MEMBERS WANTED - EL CAPITAN TENNIS CLUB Torre Del Mar. Open to new members. For information Ring 623192294 EXTENDABLE HEAVY IKEA DINING TABLE WITH 6 CHAIRS 260€ O.N.O 220cm long / 100cm width / 75cm high Extendable part 100cm wide x 18.5cm long Total length when extended 238.5cm Chairs are solid condition but the fabric may need changing due to some stains.

Table has been taken apart in 3 pieces

Call: 664 210 468

Advertise your items for sale here Call: 664 210 468 Email: sales@thesentinella.com FAR FROM THE MADDENING CROWD For sale 8,000sqm of rural tranquility with living accommodation consisting of large 1 bed caravan, separate bathroom, covered terrace, additional flat terrace ideal for yurt/glamping opportunity. Mains water, solar power, fantastic views. 5 mins Lake Vinuela / local village. 47,000€ All paperwork correct Call: 660 123 349 for further info/photos

SERENITY SWEEP Let's get ready for the cold weather by getting your chimney swept and an inspection done!

Call or whatsapp for a price and a booking

Call Roy: +44 7960 434 836 firefighterhumphries@gmail.com

DENTIST Dr Bakri *Dental Cosmetics *Implants Crowns & Bridges Algarrobo Costa Tel: 952 55 05 21

Torrox Costa Tel: 952 53 20 12

Emergencies: 678 974 892

English Dental Technician 30 years experience Fully Qualified Denture Repairs Adjustments / Duplications Based in Torrox Pueblo We can visit if needed Call Graham for confidential advice on any denture problem on: 952 539 219 / 633 157 891

Broomfield Cleaning Services Housework and holiday changeovers. Cleaning materials included.

Puente don Manuel & surrounding areas

Call Valerie: 641 212 765 Professional Painting Services FOR ALL YOUR BUILDING REQUIREMENTS Reforms, Terracing, Bathrooms, Kitchens, Electrical works, Plastering & Damp Proofing.

Free no obligation quotes. Very competitive prices.

Visit our website for more information and testimonials from previous customers.

rob@platinumbuildingservices.net www.platinumbuildingservices.net

Te l : 6 6 5 3 2 2 1 3 6 - 9 5 2 5 3 9 4 2 3

634 340 706 High Quality Painting Interior & Exterior Low Cost We make it look like new Email: satinthesun@yahoo.co.uk

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ity r b e l ws CeN e

Knee injury forces Strictly exit Karen Hauer was forced to bow out of Strictly Come Dancing after suffering a nasty leg injury.

The professional dancer, 39, who appeared this year with actor Greg Wise, 55, said: “Currently I have two things wrong with my knee. There’s a little bit of a tear on my meniscus and then there’s also a little cartilage flap behind my knee but they’re very minor so instead of an op I got a knee injection so that’s good news.”

Karen was supported by her boyfriend Jordan Jones as she confronted her fear of needles.

“I’m terrified of injections and needles, so I’m glad that it happened quickly. I pretty much bit off Jordan’s jacket, but at least I’m not going into surgery which is good for now.”

The star plans to return to the show next year.

Beckham senior weds again David Beckham's father Ted, 73, has married his millionaire solicitor partner Hilary Meredith, 62, in an intimate ceremony.

The football icon, 46, is said to have acted as best man for his father at the low-key nuptials which took place in London's Temple.

It's the second marriage for both the bride and groom, with Ted having divorced David's mother Sandra in 2002 after 33 years of marriage.

The ceremony was attended by the Beckham clan including David's wife Victoria and their children.

A source revealed: “It was a very small private affair with just a handful of close family and friends.”

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com Baby boom Joanna Page has welcomed her fourth child with husband James Thornton — a little girl called Boe Willow Russell.

The Gavin And Stacey actress, 44, shared the news on Instagram, melting the hearts of her followers with an adorable festive photograph of Boe nestling into her.

Cradling her bundle of joy tenderly in front of the Christmas tree, which was adorned with pretty lights and tinsel, the Welsh star wrote: 'Welcome to our family Boe Willow Russell.

We love you with all our hearts [heart emoji] @jamesthornton_'.

Her husband of 18 years, who starred in the soap Emmerdale as Don Barton, shared the same sweet snap and penned: 'She is here!

Our wonderful girl Boe Willow Russell. We love you with all our hearts. ❤ �' The couple already share Eva, eight, Kit, six and five-year-old Noah.

89

Cele Newbrity s

Presenter honoured Kate Garraway will be recognised in the Queen’s upcoming New Year’s Honours list, it has been claimed.

The Good Morning Britain host, 54, has had a tough two years following her husband Derek Draper’s devastating health battles.

According to reports, she is set to receive a gong to commemorate her 32-year career, including her recent documentary on her partner’s Covid-19 battle – a film which was praised by many.

An insider told the Sun that she is likely to land either a CBE or MBE for her contribution to broadcasting.

“Kate has bravely shared her family’s struggle with the devastating effects of Covid, helping to educate and raise awareness,” they said.

“She’s spent over 30 years on the frontline of broadcasting and shown true dedication and survival in a tough industry.”

Derek was taken to hospital in March 2020 after contracting Covid and was placed in a medically induced coma soon after. His body was severely ravaged from the disease, which caused havoc and sparked a series of other health issues.

However, the former Labour lobbyist defied the odds and was released from hospital more than 12 months after he was admitted, allowing him to continue recovery at home.

“It does feel like I have walked through a fiery furnace, or fell down a rabbit hole,” said Kate.

“The world went dark and I’m still looking for the light at the end of the tunnel.

“Covid has devastated him, from the top of his head to the tip of his toe — his digestive system, his liver, his heart, his nervous system. We’re pretty sure the inflammation did pass through his brain.

“Fundamentally he is in a terrible state, but look: he’s alive.”

90

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Brain Teaser You are driving in a car at a constant speed.

On your left side is a 'drop off'. (The ground is 18-24 inches below the level you are travelling on), and on your right side is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you ...

ULTRA CLEAN

Apartment - Townhouse - Villa

CLEAN & CHANGEOVERS Key holding - Laundry - Gardening - Meet & Greet

Torre del Mar Pammy: 674 597 984

IZZI&CAPELLI Torre del Mar The Hair Experts Find us on facebook @IZZICAPELLI

In front of you is a galloping horse, which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it.

Telephone: 952 965 646 or 685 430 621

Behind you is a galloping zebra. Both the horse and zebra are also travelling at the same speed as you...

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

Get off the merry-go-round....you’re pissed!!

Volunteers Wanted English Speaking Email: 29094social@cruzroja.es

OUR BILINGUAL TEAM ARE HERE TO HELP YOU Opening hours: Monday - Thursday 09.00 to 14.00

Friday 09.30 - 13.30

Indian Cuisine

Delicious food with sea views See website below to view menu or scan QR code www.empresas.novacarta.es/indus

Call: 631 080 785 Please note: Hours subject to change due to possible Covid restrictions.

Please check in advance Mon - Fri Lunch Menu Open 13.00 - 15.30 & 19.00 - 22.30 Closed Tuesday evening & Wednesdays CALL FOR SPECIAL REQUESTS TORRE DEL MAR (opposite Yacht Club)

Indus Chef Spice Torre del Mar

1. Running 2. Walking 3. Weights 4. Swimming 5. Yoga 6. Pilates 7. Aerobics 8. Cycling 9. Hiking 10. None of the above

Competition closes 21st January

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93

Is It Back To Building In The Countryside In Andalusia?

At the end of December a new law was passed by the Andalusian Government, the “LISTA” which replaces the former “LOUA”. It has been a bumpy ride, with plenty of controversy, as it is pretty explosive stuff.

After almost two decades of absolutely strict, unwavering planning laws that have permitted no building on rural land unless associated with agriculture, this new law is going to allow people to once again build homes in the countryside! It appears they have now decided (or maybe recognised) that people want to live in the countryside and that it may also be a way of bringing life back to rural areas that are being depopulated.

The rules will still be strict, and unfortunately it doesn’t mean that any of the current houses that are “irregular” as a result of the previous legislation will be any better off – they will remain the same. But it does contemplate the possibility of building a totally legal residential house on rural land that is not under any special protection.

Is this a good thing? Will it bring new prosperity and happiness to rural habitats?

There is certainly an argument that a country house, planted with plenty of natural trees, may encourage wildlife and nature much more than fields and fields of destructive monoculture agricultural crops. Or is it a bad thing? Will it encourage speculators to buy up plots left right and centre and cover our countryside once again with buildings? After years of telling my potential buyers ‘don’t worry, no one will ever be able to build next door’, could they now find a house being built next to them?

What is clear is that the rules will be strict and each municipal area will be able to make decisions about what happens in their municipality. It won’t be so easy. The licence fee, for starters, will be high – 15 to 20% of the build cost, compared with the more normal rate of 3.5 to 5%.

Over the next few months or so I hope to report back on how our local municipalities are affected, what decisions they will make and how this new law develops into reality so watch this space!!

Toni Waterman (See main advert below) Unspoilt Andalusia Real Estate

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Joke Book - Out Now! Oh My Good Gawld 2 Yours truly has put together the 2nd joke book containing 84 pages of solid jokes & funnies. No pictures, no spaces, just pure unadulterated laughter.

Priced at just a fiver!

Available at the Tuesday Trapiche Market or email: tonyknight13@yahoo.co.uk or call 664 689 138

Arbol de Navidad You can view this crocheted Christmas tree, (Arbol de Navidad) in Moclinejo.

Made by the Asociacion de Mujeres Piedras Blancas. Colaboracion de Malaga de Moda.

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Lux Mundi - Torre Del Mar

95

Costa Animal Society ( CAS)

Coming events in January

Pine Processionary Caterpillars

January – Centre Closing Times. Closed from January the 1st thru to re-opening on Friday 7th January.

With the mild winter we are enjoying, the Costa Animal Society (CAS) would like to warn you that we can expect an early visit from the annual Pine Processionary Caterpillars in 2022. Pine Processionary Caterpillars usually start their annual march from their pine nest into underground burrows in late winter to early spring. They get their name because they undertake this journey in single file lines and follow one another much like a religious procession.

In the New Year we continue with our usual groups. Craft group on Mondays and art group on Wednesdays. Time 10.00 to 13.00.

Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday – “Our Shop” is open with clothes for the winter season and also household goods. Time 11.00 to 13.00.

Every Friday – Coffee Morning. Come and enjoy meeting and catch up with friends, collect the free newspapers. For the bookworms amongst you, check out our Book shop, hundreds of second-hand books waiting to be read. CDs and DVDs too. Time 11.00 to 13.00.

Thursday 6th January – Three ´Kings Party´. Lux Mundi invites you to come and enjoy a buffet tea to celebrate king’s day in the Centre. Price includes the buffet, a glass of Cava and music to dance to if you wish.

Limited numbers so please book early. Ticket Price: 18€ or with a Friends of Lux Mundi card 15€. Funds will be used to enable us to continue helping others. Time 16.00.

Thursday 20th January - Coach Excursion to Marbella and Plaza Mayor/McArthur Glen Designer Outlet. We invite you to join friends on an excursion to Marbella Old Town, arriving at approximately 10.30. Enjoy a coffee in the beautiful Plaza de los Naranjos/Orange Square and meander through the narrow, cobbled streets. You will be transported back in time. Go for a walk down to the seafront, admiring the Salvador Dali sculptures on the way. There will be time for you to have lunch before boarding the coach at 14.30 for the drive to Plaza Mayor in Malaga where you can enjoy shopping in the January sales of the Designer Retail Outlet, McArthur Glen. The coach will leave for the homeward journey at 17.30. Ticket Price: 19€ or 16€ with Friends of Lux Mundi card. Funds will be used to enable us to continue helping others. Bus Departure Times: Viñuela (Football Pitch) 08.40, Algarrobo (Lidl) 09.05, Caleta (Vets) 09.10, Torre del Mar (Bus Station) 09.15.

The danger for your pets, and for humans, is that this is when we are most likely to come into contact with these rascals. At this stage of their lifecycle they possess an unusual defence mechanism. That is, they are covered in fine white poisonous hairs, which can cause reactions ranging from an extremely itchy rash to very deadly anaphylactic shock when they are touched or ingested.

During the winter Pine Processionary Caterpillars make nests, which resemble large cotton balls or white cotton candy, in our local pine trees. If you live near pine trees, especially ones with white nests, extreme care must be taken with your pets as the weather begins to warm in the spring.

You should not let your dog roam free and you should try to keep your cat indoors.

Unfortunately, the inherently curious nature of your pet may lead them to investigate these unusual creatures. If your pet has the misfortune to sniff, lick our bite these caterpillars your animal would likely suffer a severe allergic reaction or anaphylactic shock, possibly causing airway closure and death.

The symptoms of exposure to caterpillar hair are excessive drooling or frothing at the mouth, difficulty in breathing and/or white spots in the mouth or tongue. If you think your pet is suffering from these symptoms, our vet recommends you flush your animal’s mouth with as much water as possible and immediately take your pet for emergency treatment.

A final warning: if you are thinking of taking a pre-emptive strike against these nests you should bear in mind that they too are full of caterpillar hair, which can easily fall out when disturbed. Exposure in humans has been known to cause a severe skin irritation that can last up to three weeks, temporary blindness and/or respiratory problems. Make sure you take appropriate precautions or hire a professional.

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Where’s The Grasshopper?

Find last month’s Deer on page 99

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97

Drinks: It’s A Gin Thing!

Juniper berries form the base flavour for gins and productions of these alcoholic beverages dates back centuries. Today, many different botanicals can be and are used, to great advantage, to produce gins that are a clear liquid through to a great number of coloured variations, which are appreciated and loved by numerous gin connoisseurs.

Gin cocktails are hugely popular too and have devotees, globally. For some gin lovers a simple gin & tonic is satisfying and welcoming. I searched for a company producing a good range of handcrafted gins,

that utilises botanicals to create outstanding gins, which appeal to many.

The Ruddy Fine Distillery is very proud of their productions, which have been developed over recent years, by Cheryl Stretton and Rory Thorpe. Their LONDON DRY GIN (42% ABV) is infused with 11 botanicals, all carefully selected to provide an excellent, balanced product. The sweetness of orange zest is complemented by fragrant spices and botanicals, to produce this smooth, extremely popular gin. Botanicals used for the production of this gin include the exotic lemongrass.

SUMMER BERRIES GIN (42% ABV) has, as the name suggests, juicy berries, evoking thoughts of summer in England.

Red fruits are in abundance, for the bouquet. Again, excellent on the mouthfeel

and palate’s sensation. Cardamom combines with the other botanicals, to provide this ‘pink favourite’, that pink gin lovers fully enjoy.

Other Ruddy Fine gin productions include NAVY STRENGTH GIN, CHRISTMAS GIN (Limited Edition) and LOCKDOWN GIN (Limited Edition). Gift vouchers are available too, plus other merchandise to complement the range. The Ruddy Fine Distillery, created

by Cheryl Stretton and Rory Thorpe, is located in the pretty, rural village of Ruddington, Nottinghamshire.

The Ruddy Fine Gin Club is very popular,

with memberships steadily increasing. For a ‘something different’ type of gift the Ruddy Fine Minis Gift Boxes are very attractively presented and could be the answer. As Cheryl and Rory say, “Our passion and desire to create the finest small batch craft gins comes through in every refreshing sip”. For all details and information please contact or visit their website.

The Ruddy Fine Distillery Ltd, 39 Nottingham South & Wilford Industrial Estate, Ruddington Lane, Nottingham NG11 7EP. Tel: 07540 096 234 E-mail: info@ruddyfine.co.uk www.ruddyfine.co.uk

As Always, Enjoy!

Trevor Langley

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es

Chariti

What´s on in your area?

SEEKING CHARITIES - People helping People Do you know of any SPANISH Charities (O.N.G) who help people and are seeking funding? The American International Club is currently seeking Spanish Organisations who are seeking assistance.

If you are aware of an organisation that assists Spanish people, please send an email with contact information to nerjaclub@yahoo.com The American International Club is a social club open to all nationalities which spans the area from Almunecar to Torrox and beyond. Activities include tapas runs, monthly excursions, petanque, coffee mornings, dinners and walks. The Club raises funds for Spanish charities and each year makes a significant donation to a local organisation as a way of saying "thank you" to our host nation. Our motto is "If it isn't fun, we don't do it". To join in the fun email: nerjaclub@yahoo.com http://www.americaninternationalclub.com Los Romanes Royal British Legion. Los Romanes branch has two venues. We meet weekly at The Asador Restaurant Puente Don Manuel, on Mon 12.00 – 1400 hrs. And on a Wed at midday at the Bar La Vega, Torre Del Mar. Our friendly group get together not only to raise funds for and support TRBL in Spain, but also meet to be with friends and have some fun, including quizzes, bingo, monthly lunches etc. You do not have to have served in the Armed Forces to become a member.

Interested? Then please Phone Branch Secretary Sue on 691 544 140 or just pop in for a chat.

Furniture shop, Torre del Mar is looking for volunteers who have a free morning or afternoon every week to help us to sell second hand furniture and attend to customers in the new store. Would you like to help us? Contact 952564910/671048304 voluntariado@cudeca.org PIPPA’S PAWPRINTS CHARITY SHOP Calle Antonio Jimenez No. 4b, behind the Bus Station and the Notary. Cards, bric-a-brac, bags, shoes and quality clothing at knock-down prices.

Now open from Tues to Sat 10.30am - 2pm.

622574174

Date Diasr For y

Every 2nd Wednesday in the month AAR monthly quiz at La Tasca. 3pm start. Opposite the police station, Torre del Mar. Call Shelia for details 640 328 051 Every Tuesday is Tony’s Bingo Quiz at The Belvedere at 3pm in Torre del Mar. Come along for a great fun afternoon!

Call 610 100 908 to reserve a table.

Every Thursday Quiz at Bar Samba 7pm.

Every Tuesday Country Farmers Market between 9.30am and 1.30pm. Los Jardines del Trapiche Call: Anita 627 877 164 Argentine Tango classes in Torrox: Wed 5pm 6pm Salón Pilates con Lorena Calle Deire, edificio fantasia, sótano 2 derecha, Torrox pueblo Mario Correa 649 59 55 94 mac1710@gmail.com Scottish Country Dance Classes Every Tuesday evening from 7.15pm - 9pm at El Trapiche Restaurant, for all levels, with or without partners.

For further information please contact George Bain on 619 069 966 The Nerja Players meet on 1st and 3rd Tues of the month between Oct and Apr. Perfomances are rehearsed readings. Calle Castilla Perez 1, Nerja.

Look for the very large BLUE entrance door. We are between Salon de Juegos and a Supermarket.

Reservations on our website.

Email: admin@thenerjaplayers.com Torrox Tornadoes Walking Football Club Looking for players of this new team based in Torrox, for 50 and over men’s physical and mental health and to make new friends. Joining the new league on the Costa Del Sol. Join us on Facebook “Torrox Tornadoes Walking Football Club” New Life Church Whether you live in Nerja or are visiting our area, we would be delighted to welcome you. Our meetings are characterised by uplifting songs, relevant sermons and a modern but reverent service. During this time of uncertainty, God's word reminds us that the Gospel shines brightest in times of darkness. We are a Bible based Church community continuing to help people find their way back to God. Sunday Service 11.00am Prayer Meetings Wednesdays 11.00am Pasaje San Miguel, Nerja, info@nlcnerja.com / www.nlcnerja.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/nlcne

To advertise call 664 210 468 or email sales@thesentinella.com The Top Ten Least Fattening Foods...

1. Celery 2. Rhubarb 3. Chicory

10,9

99

Top 8 7 6 Tens 54

,

,

, , , ,3 ,2, 1,

4. Globe Artichoke

The Top Ten Most Fattening Foods...

5. Oyster Mushrooms

1. Cooking Oils / Fats

6. Marrow

2. Butter / Margarine

7. Cucumber

3. Hollandaise Sauce

8. Beansprouts

4. Mayonnaise

9. Fennel

5. Creamed Coconut

10. Swede

6. French Dressing 7. Nuts 8. Peanut Butter 9. Tahini Paste 10. Pork Scratchings

Quiz Answers: 1. Mouth Organ 2. 1970's 3. 180 4. Star shaped 5. None 6. Aberdeen 7. Present the weather 8. Apple 9. Guyana 10. Atacama Desert 11. Cañada Riddle Answers 1. Lemon-aid 2. Macintosh 3. The turkey, because he is always stuffed

4. Elizabeth is drinking coffee.

The letter E appears twice in her name, as it does in the names of the others that are drinking coffee.

5. The word is starting! starting, string, sting, sing, sin, in, I. 6. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry.

Brain Exercise Answers: 1. Man overboard 2. I understand 3. Reading between the lines 4. Crossroad, 5. Tricycle 6. Two degrees below zero

7. Neon Light (knee-on-light) 8. Six feet underground, 9. He´s by himself 10. Backward glance 11, Life after death 12. Long time no ´c´.

Find the Deer Answer

Last Month’s Crossword Answers

100

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n o i t a m for

In

: 091 2 6 Police Local y : 952 540 6662 t i 0 c 4 i 5 r t Elec ater : 952 W

...In our own random order!

Bus Stations Torre del Mar Call: 952 559 100 Malaga Call: 952 350 061 Tourist Information Nerja: 952 521 531 Torre del Mar: 952 541 104 Hospitals Nerja Ambulatorio: 952 523 131 Velez Malaga: 951 067 000 Weekly Market days (mornings only) Mondays: Torrox Costa Tuesdays: Nerja & Country Farmers Market, at Jardines del Trapiche Wednesdays; Rincon de la Victoria, Algarrobo Costa Thursdays: Velez Malaga, Torre del Mar & Frigilana Fridays: Cala de Moral Saturdays: Caleta de Velez, Competa & Benajarafe, Algarrobo Costa, Opp Lidl (1st & 3rd Saturday each month) Sundays: Nerja Car Boot ITV Call: 951 707 108 www.itvcita.com Shops 10am - 2pm - 5pm - 8:30pm (generally) Town Halls Torre and Velez: 952 500 100 Torrox: 952 538 200 Nerja: 952 548 400 Competa: 952 516 006 Rincon: 952 402 300 Malaga: 952 135 000 Airports Malaga 24-hour information 952 048 484 or 952 048 804 Granada 958 245 200 Railway Stations Malaga: 952 360 202 Granada: 958 271 272 Water Supplies Velez Malaga: 952 506 450 Nerja: 952 520 154 Malaga: 952 135 013 Consulates UK 902 109 256 or 913 342 194 Ireland 952 475 108 Germany 952 363 591 Sweden 952 604 383 France 952 226 590 / 952 214 888 Belgium 952 559 159 Denmark 952 211 797 Luxembourg 952 857 197 Chemists www.bit.ly/dutychemists

2 ia : 06 Guardlance : 061 Ambu : 080 Fire

Moviestar Dial 1002 to report a fault on the line. For general enquiries dial 1004 Church services in English The Anglican Parish of Nerja Services at Iglesia San Miguel (St Michael's Church), every Sunday at 12 noon. There is an on-line "zoom" service on Wednesdays 9.30am. Please contact Fr Nigel with an e-mail address if you would like to join us. Priest in Charge: Father Nigel Thomas. Tel: Church House 951 815736, Mobile: 608 695 756, email: cofenerja@gmail.com, website: www:nerjaalmunecaranglicanchurch.co.uk.

Competa - Holy Communion every Sunday at 5.30pm in the Parish Church, Plaza Almijara, Cómpeta Tel: 952 219 396 Malaga - St. George´s Church in the Engish Cemetery. 11.00am Sun Tel: 952 110 416 website: stgeorgemalaga.org Velez-Malaga - Capilla De San Jose, Calle Linares 7, Velez-Malaga. Sun 10.30. Tel 608 063 873 St Barnabas IERE (Anglican) Torre del Mar , Morning prayer 1st Sunday, Holy Communion 2nd, 3rd and 4th at 11am at Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre,Avda. Moscatel 1”I”, (Gardens of Viña Malága/Antigua Casa de la Viña), Torre del Mar. Tel: 657286284 Please can you also add as follows:Lux Mundi, Torre del Mar Catholic Mass. Every Saturday at 17.00. Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre,Avda. Moscatel 1”I”, (Gardens of Viña Malága/Antigua Casa de la Viña), Torre del Mar. Tel: 952 543 334.

Torre del Mar: International Church Málaga/ Cornerstone International Church. Meets Sun @ 11:30am & Wed @ 6:30 pm for Bible Study. Calle Solera 2, Bajos,Torre del Mar Evangelical Church - El Puente Christian Fellowship Sunday Worship 11am - Bible Study Wed 2-4pm. AA - Wed 7pm. Charity shop/books open Wed, Thurs, Fri & Sat 10-1.30pm. We meet at El Puente Christian Fellowship premises situated underneath Maroma Inmobilaria, Cruce de Periana Puente don Manuel. 952 117 145 or 952 518 185 Bank Hours Usually 8:30am-2pm except Sundays, Bank holidays and Fiestas. Please note, the majority of banks will not accept bills to be paid (ie: electric, phone, rates) after 11am.

Taxis Torre: 653 917 004, Nerja: 952 520 537 Velez Malaga: 653 917 004, Puente Don Manuel: 952 510 992 Mob: 616 034 636.

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101

What’s O n ‘The 'Big Cats' We are a group of Jaguar enthusiasts living in Andalucia. We have a meeting each month for a meal and a good old chat about our cars. Contact Philip Wray on 669 434 457 JEC.CostaDelSol@gmail.com Join El Valle! El Valle is one of Axarquia’s most successful and longest running social clubs based in Lake Vinuela area. We meet on the first Mon of each month (not Aug) at Punto de Encuentro Asador, Puente don Manuel) At our monthly meetings you can find out about our wide range of activities that range from the cultural and gastronomic to quizzes, games and films. We also organise days out and short trips away. www.el-valleasociacion.com Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre, Torre del Mar, Avda. Moscatel 1”I”, (Jardines Viña Malága/Antigua Casa de la Viña), Torre del Mar, 29740. Open mornings only Monday and Wednesday 10.00 till 13.00 and Fridays as usual 11.00 - 13.00.

Gradually we will re-open usual activities so please come or phone us for further information.Tel: 952 543 334 E-mail: luxmundi@lux-mundi.org The Nerja Philosophical Group For info please call Tom Bryson on 699 170 931 Trumps Bridge We are a very friendly international Bridge Club playing Duplicate twice weekly on Monday and Thursday afternoons at 2.45pm. We now play in our new premises at El Zoco, Calle Neptuno, Nerja. We will be starting a beginners' course in the near future and run a Mentor scheme for those wishing to improve their game. Should you require a partner, or wish further information on our Club, visit www.bridgewebs.com/trumpsnerja The Nerja History Group for anyone interested in Spanish History. We have Lectures and trips each month. Meetings are held at the Nerja Museum, above the underground car park, starting at 11.00am and finish approx. 12.30pm. Please email: nerjahistorygroup@yahoo.com Phoenix Club We now meet every Tues between 12 and 2pm at Bar La Vega, Avenida Andalucia and is sandwiched between the small Mercadona Supermarket and the Repsol Garage on the way out of Torre towards Malaga. Call Gail 951 067 723 www.phoenixsocialclub.co.uk

Short Mat Bowls is now operating in the hotel Jimesol, C/ Chaparil, Nerja on Mon and Thurs afternoons from 1.45pm to 4.15pm. New members welcome. Contact Marian on 952 523 754 or Malcolm on 952 520 579 for more details. www.shortmatbowlsnerja.com Golf: TOGS (Torrox Golf Society) If you would like a friendly but competitive game of golf each Sunday morning at Anoreta, then why not join TOGS, possibly the friendliest Society on the Costa. Email: torroxgolfsociety@gmail.com or call Captain: Bob Bennett on 691 571 570 International Choir has moved! We have relocated to Vélez-Málaga - easier access to people in local communities who want to come and sing with us. Rehearsals Thur, 17:30 – 20:00 in the Casa Hermandad de la Cofradía de los Estudiantes, Plaza de los Sastres, 1, CP 29700 Vélez-Málaga, near San Juan Church and the Language School. Parking nearby at the San Francisco market (1 euro). Fo info please contact 657 951 755 (English) or 689 111 352 / eucorax@hotmail.es RBL Benajarafe Branch meet every Fri from 12.00 at the Restaurante Mediterraneo situated on the coast road in Benajarafe. We enjoy bingo, quizzes, various entertainment & monthly outings.

We have an excellent weekly lunch & welcome new/existing RBL members. Tel: 653108415 benajaraferblspainsouth@gmail.com Colmenar Social Club is a group whose aim is to promote friendship and assistance to all our members. We meet every Wed from 12.00pm at Arco Del Sol Hotel, Colmenar on A356 KM9. A great venue to enjoy a variety of activities such as wine tasting, talks, cooking demonstrations, monthly lunches, car sharing days out, theatre visits and a monthly bowling group.

Tel: Carol on 623 125 656 RBL - Nerja meets twice a month for lunch - on the 3rd Thur at the Al Andalus Hotel, Maro. Everyone is welcome to join us. Booking is essential. Please contact Kim on tel: +44 7988029001 or email: kim_bowe1@hotmail.com.

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) : a h a Jokes h An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.

'I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, then eat regularly again for 2 days then skip a day...... and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. 'The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.'

When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60lbs! 'Why, that's amazing!' the doctor said, 'Did you follow my instructions?'

The Irishman nodded...

'I'll tell you though, by jaesuz, I t'aut I were going to drop dead on dat 3rd day.'

'From the hunger, you mean?' asked the doctor.

'No, from the f**kin' skippin'!!

------------------------------------------------------——A farmer in Devon has made history by growing a field of dildos!

Unfortunately he's had a lot of trouble with women squatters.

------------------------------------------------------——After his examination, the doctor said to the elderly man, "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?"

"In fact, I do." said the old man. "After I have sex, I am usually cold and chilly; and then, after I have sex with her the second time, I am usually hot and sweaty."

After examining his elderly wife, the doctor said, "Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"

The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns. The doctor then said to her, "Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually cold and chilly after having sex with you the first time; and then hot and sweaty after the second time. Do you know why?"

"Oh, that crazy old fart!" she replied. "That's because the first time is in January, and the second time is in August” ————————————————————A country wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With super-human strength, borne of fury, cutting firewood, lifting sacks of feed and bales of hay, she dragged him down the stairs, out the back door, and into the barn. She put his manhood in a vice and then secured it tightly and removed the handle. Next she picked up an old carpenter's saw. The viced up cheater was terrified, and hollered, "Stop ! Stop !

You're not gonna cut it off with that rusty saw, are you?"

The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, put the saw in her husband's hand and said "Nope ....You are! I'm gonna burn down the Barn!!!"

----------------------------------------------------——— A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.' The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'

'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?' and he smiles.

'OK,' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic, but first, let me ask you a question...

A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'

'Hmmm, I have no idea...' replies the stranger.

To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know s**t?

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103

Jokes h a ha A man walks into a restaurant with a fully grown ostrich behind him.

The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"

"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the bill. "That will be 9.40€ please."

The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke.."

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same.."

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes routine until the two enter again.

"The usual?" asks the waitress.

"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man.

"Same," says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be 39.60€."

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "Several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp.

When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress.. "Most people would ask for a million euros or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a litre of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man..

The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall bird with a big butt

and long legs who agrees with everything I say.."

------------------------------------------------------——A rich man living in Darwin decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbours’. He also invited Colin, the only aborigine in the neighbourhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.

Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating prawns, oysters, BBQ and flirting. At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 15ft man-eating crocodile in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the balls to jump in.'

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Colin in the pool fighting the croc, jabbing the croc in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, doing all kinds of stuff like head butts and chokeholds, biting the croc on the tail and flipping the croc through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor. The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Colin and the croc were screaming and raising hell. Finally Colin strangled the croc and let it float to the top like a dead goldfish. Colin then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.

The host says, 'Well, Colin, I reckon I owe you a million dollars.'

'Nah, you all right boss, I don't want it,' said Colin.

The rich man said, 'Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?'

'No thanks. I don't want it,' answered Colin.

The host said, 'Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some Stock options?

Again, Colin said "No." Confused, the rich man asked, 'Well Colin, then what do you want?

Colin said, 'I just want the bastard who pushed me in.'

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s e g a P e l Puzz Get Quizical

Hey Diddle Riddle

1) For playing which instrument did Larry Adler become famous?

1. Why did the citrus tree go to the hospital?

2. What kind of apples do computers prefer?

2. In what decade did the Threepenny bit cease to be legal tender?

3. Who is never hungry during Christmas?

3. How many degrees of angle in total does a triangle have?

4. If something is described as ‘stellate’, what shape does it have?

5. How many US states border Alaska?

6. Which Scottish airport has the code ABZ? 7. What did Laura Greene, Ulrika Jonsson do on television?

8. What type of fruit is York Imperial?

9. Georgetown is the capital of which South American country?

10. Which is the driest desert on earth?

4. George, Helen, and Steve are drinking coffee. Bert, Karen, and Dave are drinking soda. Using logic, is Elizabeth drinking coffee or soda?

5. What 8 letter word can have a letter taken away and it still makes a word. Take another letter away and it still makes a word. Keep on doing that until you have one letter left. What is the word?

6. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him underwater for over 5 minutes.

Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

11. Which country has the largest coastline?

Answers on page 99

Sudokus Easy

Tough

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105

Puzzle P ages Crossword Across

Down

1 Giving nothing away facially (5-5)

1 Danger (5)

7 Stone-fruit (7)

2 Excitement (4)

8 Turn out of one’s house (5)

3 Corrupt (6)

10 Otter’s den (4)

4 Story, short tale (8)

11 With no chance of success (4,4)

5 Gourmet (7)

13 Owing (2,4)

6 Difficult 24-hour period (3,4,3)

15 Bear witness (6)

9 Reprove (4,2,4)

17 Suave (8)

12 Copious (8)

18 Quarrel (4)

14 Disaster (7)

21 Tropical plant (5) 22 Menacing (7) 23 Unexpected fault (4,2,4)

16 Cricket fielding position (3-3) 19 Substitute (5) 20 Small glass container (4)

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s e p o c s o Hor

by Juanita Banana of Banana Moon Yoga Therapy, Studio, Travel & Retreats

ARIES: March 21-April 20 Are you ready for the New Year or are you still wondering what happened to the last two? Set aside some time during the first part of 2022 to assess and plan - you’ll be pleased how well the year will start for you!

TAURUS: April 21-May 21 Try adding a new exercise or other health element to your routine, whether it’s mountain climbing, swimming, yoga or massage. Worrying is not productive, so rely more on your gut level instincts, your practical intuition, and you`ll sleep better

LIBRA: September 23 - October 22 You are in a communicative mood at the start of January with an irresistible urge to connect. Say whatever is in your heart, your friends and loved ones will be happy to know just what it is that you’re thinking. In fact they’ll feel privileged you chose to share it with them!

SCORPIO: October 23 - November 21 This is a month to listen to yourself, trust what you know and let your deepest impulses be your guiding light. A business opportunity, the start of something that could be huge, appears at the end of January requiring collaboration with someone who comes your way

GEMINI: May 22-June 21 Gemini, you are a super smart zodiac sign, but don’t try to solve all your relationship issues with your brain. There are some things that require the heart to make the decisions - save your grey cells for work!

SAGITTARIUS: November 22 December 21 From the beginning of the year, you are surrounded by friends and loved ones, helping you to feel free to explore whilst confident that you’ve taken the right path up to now. You’re happy with the choices you’ve made and excited about projects ahead

CANCER: June 22-July 22 Whether it’s eating healthier, getting to bed earlier, working out more or finally finding that life-partner you’ve been missing, your determination to take responsibility for your own health and happiness is going to have a major impact on everything you do

CAPRICORN: December 22 January 20 Don’t hesitate to dream big! You have some amazing plans and what’s even more extraordinary is the speed and ease with which these ideas and plans will come to fruition this month and this year

LEO: July 23-August 23 Are you making time to satisfy your creative side? Do you have room to grow or is the atmosphere oppressive? If you are in a situation that is too rigid to grow, then you might want to find work that is more enlightened

AQUARIUS: January 21-February 19 You`ll meet interesting people and have an array of possibilities opening up, making you feel pretty good and having a positive impact on your life all year. Give yourself a huge high five!

VIRGO: August 24-September 22 Flexibility is the key to so much in life, so do your best to bend, stretch and sway when your instinct might be to stay rigid toward the latter part of the month. Try not to be critical of work colleagues, instead express your honest opinion in non-judgmental way

PISCES: February 20-March 20 If you felt 2020 and 2021 were a bit too much, then you may find the early part of 2022 is intense as well. Take really good care of yourself, maintain your sense of humour and be sure to enjoy the extremely good luck that’s coming your way

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The Sent inella Paginas

We can Call toda list your Busines sh y on 664 210 468 ere from just 5 e or Email : sales@th uros a month!! esentine lla.com

AIR CONDITIONING

BLINDS

lFor Air Conditioning call Mark at Esola, 616 119 007, Torre del Mar lPolar Air For Professional and reliable servicing, repairs and installation of A/C at competitive rates by a qualified technician. Call Jordan 655 211 192 or visit www.polarair.eu lCHS Cooling and Heating Solutions. All makes of air conditioning, serviced and installed. Also Solar, Heating and swimming pool heat pumps.

Call: 655 791 167 Email: chsspain@gmail.com

lBespoke Blind Services. Blinds made to measure for any window size or shape, Vertical, Panel, Roman, Venetian and Roller blinds. Large selection of colours and designs to suit any existing decor or new projects. Call: Ian 644 546 176 solarblinds.es@gmail.com

lConnect Air Conditioning. Supplying the latest in heat pump technology at the best prices. Contact Sean: 639 738 624 www.connectairconditioning.com Email: connect.aircon@hotmail.com

AWNINGS lAwnings - Blinds - Mosquito Screens, Glass Curtain Repairs, Replacement of plastic jointing strips, New Installations, Roller Shutters / Repairs.

New installations, Conversion from manual to motorised. Call Julian: 655 825 931

BEAUTY & BOUTIQUE lThe Hair & Beauty Studio Cruce de Periana, Puente don Manuel, (along from Morenos) Call: 951 204 158 or 654 897 410

BUILDERS lLT Construction - is a building company based in the Velez Malaga area. We specialise in all aspects of design, building license application & construction, we have over 14 years of expertise in creating individual building solutions for our clients. Our local knowledge of the land and its soil types - and how best to deal with the challenges posed by them means that we are the best-suited company to advise you on your building requirements. Call Lee Talbot on 659324586 info@ltconstruction.es www.ltconstruction.es lJohn Housby, Building, Plastering, Tiling & Painting. For a quotation ring John: 699 261 414.

Email: housbyjohn@gmail.com

CHEAP & EFFECTIVE ALL YEAR ROUND ADVERTISING ONLY 60€ per year!!! *exc. iva

FOR INFO CALL: 664 210 468

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The Sentinella Paginas CARPENTERS lQuality Bespoke Wooden Furniture. Your design brought to life. Any size, colour or design for homes, gardens and businesses. www.weswoodwork.com Telephone: 679 171 008

CAR ACCESSORIES lWindow Tinting, A mobile service for your convenience, ITV legal and certified. Cut out annoying glare. Stop U/V. Protect children and pets.

Be cool. Enjoy the sun, don’t suffer it! Call Ian 902 888 176 / 644 546 176

CLEANING lUltra Clean, Clean & Changeovers, key holding, house-keeping, laundry, window cleaning, gardening etc.. Call Pammy: 674 597 984 Torre del Mar area

COMPUTER SERVICES lSteve’s Computer and Laptop Service.

Providing a thorough health check/repair for corrupted software and removal of virus/malware infections. Sales of used/refurbished laptops at competitive prices. Call Steve in Torrox: 634347055 Email: sfmay@hotmail.com

CAR RENTAL

COMPUTERS

lNo hidden cost, delivery along the coast, personal meet & greet service at the airport with no queues or bus journeys. www.quickcarhiremalaga.com quickcarhiremalaga@gmail.com 669 899 065 / Whatsapp available

lDavid Fenton: Computer Help Specialist. Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer since 2000. House calls, remote assistance or bring it to me. Help and impartial advice with all types of technology. Tel 952 549 607, Mob 654 899 976

CARERS Professional carer live-in and day/night care specialising in dementia, alzheimers, anxiety, cancer, palliative care, parkinsons, stroke, mobility etc... Great flexibility. For more info call: Carmen on 644 441 783 or email:carmenlopez36@hotmail.com

CHIROPODISTS lRegisitered Chiropodist/Podiatrist offering a complete footcare service in the comfort of your own home. Over 25yrs exp NHS & private.

Call: 636 866 715 lFoot care in the comfort of your home.

Services including nail cutting, corn, callus and ingrowing toe nail removal. Specialising in diabetic foot care. Full PPE worn. Clare Sasada 659825512.

CHEAP & EFFECTIVE ALL YEAR ROUND ADVERTISING ONLY 60€ per year!!! *exc. iva

FOR INFO CALL: 664 210 468

COUNSELLING lKestrel Counselling. Professional, confidential, qualified counselling service. Skype or online. Experienced with all age groups including children. Tel: 636 588 697 www.kestrelcounselling.com Email: kestrelcounselling@gmail.com

CURRENCY TRANSFERS lTransferwise (now called Wise) - Really easy and a cheaper way to send money abroad. Every friend that you invite to Wise will get a first ‘fee-free transfer’ of up to 500pounds. Plus you get rewarded too. You receive 50 euros once invited 3 friends who make a qualifying payment of at least 200 euros each. Go to this link below to receive your free transfer. https://transferwise.com/invite/asd/kamik9

DAMP PROOFING lElectro-OS S.L. Immediately effective. 20 Year guarantee. Tel: 958 656 560 / 619 666 363 www.electro-os.com info@Electro-os.com

DENTISTRY lClinica Europa Centro internacional, Blq. 86, Torrox Costa. Call: 952 53 09 08 Email: info@clinicaeuropa.eu

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The Sentinella Paginas lDentadanes s.c Dental Clinic Offering Danish, top quality dental care at competitive prices. Est. since 1991. We speak English, Danish, German and Spanish Tel: 952 529 666 Mon-Fri 10-5pm www.dentadanes.com

DRAIN CLEARANCE lDrains & Plumbing Est.1999. 24 Hour call out.

Tel/Fax: 952 539 425. 24 Hour Service: 634 275 030 / 657 862 628 lDrain & Leak Solutions Your underground plumbers! High pressure water jetting, Drain tracing CCTV, Septic tank problems & installations, baths, sinks & toilets unblocked, leak detection & repairs.

Fully qualified and fully legal. No call out fee!!

Tel: 951 310 111 / 651 111 005 www.drain&leak.com

ELECTRICIANS lSparkinspain - Electrical installations & maintenance. Local from Nerja to Velez-Malaga & inland to Competa and Frigiliana.Tel Colin 951 242 449/Mob 666707297 sparkinspain@rocketmail.com Web: www.english-electrician-nerja.com

ELECTRIC SUPPLIERS lDo you pay too much for your electric? Contact Daniel from AxarEnergy today on: 662 114 241.

More than 1000 clients have already changed over and there is no cost to you for switching!

Email: dlopez@axarenergy.com www.axarenergy.com

ESTATE AGENTS lBuy A Home Spain Calle Pintor Cipriano Maldonado 7A, Edificio Salares, 29740, Torre del Mar. (Opposite the bus station) Call: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414. Email: info@buyahomespain.com Website: www.buyahomespain.com lAndalucia Real Estate (Belgian management)- sales and renovations since 2005 – Axarquia area – Dutch/Belgian/English market. Av. De Los Cipreses 16, Frigiliana. 0034-952 53 44 81 or 0034-666 82 17 96 info@andaluciarealestate.eu www.andaluciarealestate.eu lAxarquia Properties S.L Est. 2001. Office: 952 436 781 Cta. Almeria 194, Benajarafe Email: info@axarquiaproperties.com www.axarquiaproperties.com lFleming Properties, Calle Dr. Fleming, 1, Nerja.

952 524 140 or 637 278 306/606 087 362, www.fleming-properties.com

lAndalucia4you.net Advice on the entire buying-selling process including property management and reforms. Avda. Andalucia 125, Caleta de Velez. Call: 952 72 08 32 or whatsapp 634 35 70 26 Email: contact@andalucia4you.net www.andalucia4you.net lImmotions Real Estate, selling to Belgian, Dutch, English & Scandinavian clients. We offer; one go-to person, renovation guidance, after-sales service and much more! Call +34/654 899 531 or +34/656 823 048 Website: immotionsrealestate.com E-mail: info@immotionsrealestate.com lBluCee Inmobiliaria / Real Estate Bespoke service by dedicated team covering Málaga, Axarquia and Costa Tropical. Sales, property management, holiday rentals. www.blucee.com info@blucee.com Tel: 0034 711 042 727 lZalia properties, long established rental agents, Lake Viñuela area. Car hire, Pool, Villa cleans etc. El Cruce de Periana 4, Edf. Alzabel, Semisotano 2, Alcaucin www.zaliaproperties.net 952 519 718 / 663 093 782, 696 206 158 lUnspoilt Andalusia, Established 2002, selling country and village properties. Our aim has always been to make any sales or purchase experience easy, helping our clients along after completion! Offices just off the main A356 road in Trapiche village. www.unspoiltandalusia.com Email: unspoiltandalusia@gmail.com Tel/WhatsApp: +34 606010580 lCountry Properties 29754 Competa - Málaga Plaza Almijara, 21 & Avd. Constitución, 33 Tel.: +34 952 51 61 78 29770 Torrox - Málaga Calle Elisa Ortigosa, 7 Tel.: +34 952 53 91 25 29740 Torre del Mar Málaga Avda. Andalucia, 32B Tel.: +34 952 54 18 86 / 654 693 680 www.countryproperties.net sales@countryproperties.net

EST AGENTS/PROPERTY RENTALS lSpanish Management Vinuela (next to the Farmacia) Sales, Rentals, Management, Holidays. Professional advice with 16 years experience in Spain.

Tel 666 135 516 / 618 940 829 Email: spanishmanagement1@gmail.com Web: www.spanishmanagement.com

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The Sentinella Paginas FISH & CHIPS lThe Town Frier at The Belvedere. All Your Chippy Favourites. Fish & Chips, Kebabs, Pies... All freshly cooked. Eat-in or takeaway. Please call or Whatsapp: 608 531 601 or 610 100 908.

Avienda de Colon, No. 1 Torre del Mar.

FINANCIAL SERVICES lSpectrum IFA Group, Specialist Financial Advice to Expatriates across Europe. Our expertise covers Retirement & Pension Planning including QROPS, Life Assurance, Efficient Investing (using Insurance wrappers), Succession & Inheritance Tax Planning, Currency Exchange & much more.

Contact Antony on 0034 639 418 017

FUNERAL DIRECTORS lLa Esperanza Funeral Parlour.

Funeral Directors with their own funeral parlours and crematorium with more than 50 years experience in the Malaga province. Telephone 952 50 15 81, 24 hours a day 365 days a year (in case of death/emergencies)

FURNITURE lCudeca Hospice Charity Shop – Torre del Mar C/ Infante 21 – Edf. Jamaica Bajo Tel: 663 083 273 Mon-Sat 10.00 – 13.30 / Mon- Fri 17:00 – 20.00.

Nerja C/ Almirante Carranza 15 Tel: 663 083 503 Mon-Sat 10.00 – 13.30 www.cudeca.org

GARDENING lRed Palm Beetles, Wasps, Ants, Woodlice, Mice, Rats and all pests. Processionary Moths. Call us for treatment and disposal of these garden problems. Tel: 634 431 099 lCovid 19 Garden, Is your garden overgrown and sadly neglected? It’s not your fault!

We can trim, clear, clean and make your garden beautiful again. Call us on 634 431 099 if you need our help. lHaving Erosion Problems? We can show you a green solution which is used successfully worldwide. Visit our website at www.vetiverspain.com or contact us at 692 288 657 lAxarquia Gardening - Garden and pool maintenance and all the jobs that are related to gardening. Contact us on: 644 930 221 FB - axarquiagardening Email: axarquiagardening@gmail.com

GARDEN FURNITURE lDe Tropen - Specialist in garden furniture, 13.000m2, all models in stock. www.detropen.es Location: Autovía del Mediterraneo A-7 (Exit 272), 29700 Velez Malaga, Entrance behind Repsol gasoline station.

Tel. 642 651 074

HANDYMAN SERVICES lSteve The Handyman: 669 969 570. No job too small. Quick courteous service. Flat pack furniture expert, painting & decorating. Honest and reliable, 17 years in Spain.

HEATING lRedwell® – the leading brand in Infrared Heating Systems. White panels and designs like mirrors, pictures, glass etc. Low consumption, low running time due to partial storage material inside.

Prevents damp. Contact/showroom: Avda. El Faro, Bl. 75, bajo 9, Torrox Costa, call 952 539 742, sscharler@gmx.de, www.redwell.com

n b f O 6

INSURANCE lGPS Insurance Services - For all your Insurance needs (Personal & Business) Check out our easy to navigate website to request quotes www.gpsinsuranceservices.com email: admin@gpsinsuranceservices.com Tel/Whatsapp: 711 021 479 lLinea Directa, Car insurance starts from 194€.

Best prices and best cover. Car, motorcycle, home and vehicle fleet insurance. Call: 952 147 834 www.lineadirecta.com lLiberty Seguros The Expats No. 1 choice for insurances. Avda. Andalucia, 61 Blq 1, Local E, Torre del Mar. Call: 913 017 883 / 617 967 668 Email: patricia.camps@exclusivos.libertyseguros.es FB: liberty.seguros.expats

KENNELS & CATTERIES lHome From Home Dog Boarding at my 10,000m2 finca in Riogordo. No kennels just lots of exercise, fun and cuddles. Also pet paw casting and bespoke animal sculptures in cement.

Call: 678 189 019 or e-mail: riogordo@mail.com www.homefromhome.weebly.com.

C a

& a C C

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The Sentinella Paginas LANGUAGES

MOSQUITO/FLY SCREENS

lTrilingo Idiomas is a British run language academy based in Velez-Malaga offering English and Spanish to Expats, from beginners to advanced – call Mark or Donna on: 951 768 175 / 679 792 329 lLanguage Classes Online, Language assistance services / translations / private tuition / exam preparation. www.languagesclassonline FB: @languageclassesonline Tel: 648 69 77 96 Email: team@languagesclassonline lInlingua: Spanish classes for non-Spanish speakers in Velez Malaga. Certified bilingual teachers. Dynamic methodologies adapted for all levels. Also in English, French and German.

Online or face-to-face sessions. Call: 952 55 85 24 / 626 21 91 68 FB:@delibesformacion Email: info@inlinguavelezmalaga.com

lMosquito Screens made to measure & repairs.

Plus nets for your pets too with reinforced dog flap.

Call: 674 617 379. No call out fee!

LAWYERS lCS Abogados, Spanish solicitors, English Spoken, Torrox Costa, 952 697 004 Urb. Costa del Oro local 8, (in front of Mercadona). Torre del Mar, 951 832 130 Calle Rioja, 69, Edificio Salares, local A. (Near the Bus Station). Free initial consultation, Email: info@cslawyers.es / www.cslawyers.es lAxarquia Solicitors 15 years helping expats and non-residents –Offices in Nerja & Velez-Málaga.

Call: 952 901 225 for a free no obligation appointment. mail@axarquiasolicitors.com l De Cotta Law Spanish Abogados & English Lawyers. Consultations and advice on all legal matters, including Visas and Wills.

Conveyancing specialists. www.decottalaw.com.

Call us on 952 527 014 or email info@decottalaw.net

MAN & VAN lMan & Van Transport, Clearances, 15€ p/hourand 0.20c per KM. Extra man 10€ p/hour. Call Jan 643 623 681

METALWORK lMetalwork made to measure - Gates, Doors, Rejas. M.O.T. welding and on-site repairs. All areas. Also building work. All work guaranteed.

Andy: 676 719 066 Email: sainbena@hotmail.com

MOTORCYCLE REPAIRS lRods motorcycles. Mobile motorcycle service and repairs. From scooters to superbikes. All makes and models. Factory trained technician.

Contact 633 287 190.

OPTICIANS lHeiko by Heiko, Avda Andalucia 119, Torre del Mar 952 967 923

PARAGLIDING lParagliding gift vouchers. Give a dream to your loved ones or fulfil your dream. Fly with an instructor with 30 years exp. without risk, over some incredible landscapes in the mountains and the sea, landing gently in front of a beach bar. www.parapentegranada.info

PLUMBERS lAndy Mann UK Corgi-registered Domestic Water and Gas services. All areas covered. Combi boiler technician. Emergency Breakdowns Tel: 633 875 588 Email: andymann_genesis@yahoo.co.uk lPlumbing by Chris, repairs, replacement and reforms. Est. since 1982. Call Chris: 674 617 379.

No call out fee!

PRINTER INK CARTRIDGES lInk Cartridges for all makes of Printers. Original or Compatible. Tuesdays: Jardines del Trapiche Market. or call for free delivery 627 242 977 email: sales@printerink.es

PROPERTY RENTALS lBuy A Home Spain C/ Pintor Cipriano Maldonado 7A, Edificio Salares, 29740, Torre del Mar Call: 952 547 554 or 680 210 414.

Email: info@buyahomespain.com Website: www.buyahomespain.com

REMOVALS lTony Roam Transport & Removals. 16 Years To & Fro Spain / UK / Spain. Up to 4 weeks free storage UK and Spain. Es 636 393 542 / UK 09793 362 003 WhatsApp either number.

Email tonyroam@btconnect.com Website for further information and prices. www.euroam.co.uk

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Please mention The Sentinella when responding to adverts

The Sentinella Paginas REMOVALS (Continued) lAlcala Transport, Fully Legal, Spanish registered Transport/Removals Company. Operating locally for over 10 years. We run two vans twice per month to and from the UK/Europe. Call Colin for a no obligation quote on 0034 608 085 700 or 0044 7936886822

RESTAURANTS lTaj Mahal (Torre del Mar) Avenida Andalucia, Bloque Jupiter, Pasaje Timon 2, Calle Timon, Torre del Mar Tel: 952 547 798 or 665 675 053 lTaj Mahal (Puente don Manuel) Next door to Chiringuito Antonios, Venta Baja Tel: 952 510 886 / 667 934 731 lIndian Palace Barriada Buena Vista, Puente don Manuel Tel: 952 510 963 Mob: 616 942 212 Email: indianpalacealcaucin@gmail.com www.indianpalacealcaucin.blogspot.com lBuon Gusto Ristorante - Pizzeria, Paseo Maritimo, Torre del Mar Tel: 951 70 28 33 Comercial Centro Rincon De La Victoria Tel: 952 97 86 04

SATELLITE T.V. lTotal Satellite Installations Call Phil on: 629 556 266. Email:philbraid@hotmail.com

SOLICITORS lBest Law Office in Law Axarquia Area. Professional legal and tax services at affordable rates. Free quotations and consultations.

Offices in Nerja and Velez-Malaga.

Tel: 952 901 225 Email:mail@axarquiasolicitors.com

STORAGE/PARKING lParking El Llano Caravans/Boats storage & General storage 24hr security, from under 1€ a day. Long term discounts available. Almayate Costa N340. Tel: 680 180 468

CHEAP & EFFECTIVE ALL YEAR ROUND ADVERTISING ONLY 60€ per year!!! *exc. iva

FOR INFO CALL: 664 210 468

SWIMMING POOLS lCosta Swimming Pools, Specialists in steps and ledge construction, acid cleaning and re-grouting.

Compete pool reforms. All areas covered.

Call: 711 022 774 for a free quote

TAXIS l24 Hour Taxi - English speaking. Call Javi on 653 917 004

VETS lPet Vet Clinic La Herradura, Vaccinations, X-Ray, Dentistry, Operations, Pet Shop & More... C/Alhambra Nº3, La Herradura. Tel: 609 977 564 We speak: English, German, Swedish, Finnish & Spanish

VINYL SOLUTIONS lWhy replace when you can renovate? Revamp tired looking kitchens, fridge and freezer doors, bathrooms, wall panels, wardrobes etc.. No painting involved... just vinyl. Call Ian: 644 546 176

WANTED ITEMS lBest prices paid for jewellery, watches and artwork. 30 years in the business. Call or whatsapp Martin: 603 355 959 Email: tintoamour@gmail.com

WEBSITE DESIGN lWebsite design for your business on the Costa del Sol. Facebook marketing and hosting.

Web: www.tomlumsden.es Whatsapp: 625 842 780 Email: tom@tomlumsden.es

WINDOW TINTING lHeat reflective tint for; windows, doors, glass curtains, glass roofs, reduce cooling costs and insulate the glass to retain winter heat. Be comfortable indoors! Call: 644 546 176 ian@solarshadetinting.com

WINE SHOPS lSuricato wine shop specialising in a great variety of quality wine plus a selection of other products such as extra premium virgin olive oils and snacks.

951338586 Puerta del Mar 5, Local 10 Torre del Mar

Need Help Attracting New Business?

Your advert will be seen by thousands of readers throughout the Axarquia area; Benajarafe - Torre del Mar - Caleta de Velez - Velez Malaga Algarrobo Costa - El Morche - Torrox Costa - Torrox Pueblo Torrox Park - Nerja - Burriana - Maro - Frigiliana Puente don Manuel - Vinuela - Colmenar - Competa - Maro Sayalonga - Canillas de Albaida - Sedella - Archez Canillas de Aceituno - Periana - Benamargosa - Trapiche Small price to pay for ADVERTISING THAT WORKS!

Adverts from as little as 5 euros per month + iva Call: 664 210 468 Email: sales@thesentinella.com

Private, traditional style South West facing residence Most amazing sunsets and views Separate guest accommodation and garage First occupation licence in place Price: 419,000€

Freevideo ual h t Vir ur wit ing to list ry eve

REF: A4U2104 ALCAUCÍN

Victoria Komina Manager Andalucia4you Dear clients & friends!

We hope this holiday will be very special for you.

May you fulfil your desire for a new home in the new year and enjoy all the beauty of Andalucía.

ANDALUCIA4YOU wishes you A HAPPY AND JOYFUL 2022!

We OFFER to OPEN your door to: ✔Professional advice and ALL-round service IN ONE ✔Your door to the Dutch, Belgian and overseas market ✔Free listing and pre-valuation ✔Local experts and personal guidance ✔10 years of experience in Real Estate ✔Centrally located Office in Caleta de Vélez, Axarquía

Contact us! / ¡Contacte Nos! www.andalucia4you.net Email: contact@andalucia4you.net Tel: +34 952 72 08 32 634 35 70 26 Avenida Andalucía 125, Caleta de Vélez