F A S H I O N
B E A U T Y
PUBLISHED SINCE 2005
WINTER GLAM
RING IN ALL OF THE HOLIDAYS WITH FABULOUS OUTFITS FROM LOCAL BOUTIQUES
BEAUTY BENEFITS OF TEE TREE OIL
FOUR REASONS WHY YOU NEED TO ADD IT TO YOUR ROUTINE
DESIGN TIPS FOR SMALL LIVING SPACES YOU’LL LOVE THESE CREATIVE WAYS TO MAKE THE SMALLEST OF LIVING SPACES FEEL BIGGER
H O M E
H E A L T H
WINTER 2021
THE TR IANG L E’ S MO ST T R UST ED N A M E I N LU X U RY S I N CE 1 9 4 9
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We Buy Diamonds, Gold and Platinum / Diamonds, Estate and Antique Jewelry Loose Diamonds of all Shapes and Sizes / Certified Appraisals / Expert Jewelry Repairs
BE COMFORTABLE, BE STYLISH, BE DIFFERENT.
at Ease FALLS VILLAGE SHOPPING CENTER 6625 FALLS OF NEUSE RD., RALEIGH 919.790.1812
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TRIANGLE STYLE MAGAZINE — PUBLISHED SINCE 2005 — WINTER 2021 PUBLISHER: Parsons People, LLC MANAGING EDITOR: Erica Parsons Butler CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHY: Dimitri Williams Photography COPY EDITOR: Amy Reynolds CONTRIBUTING WRITERS: Crystal Watts • Heather Parsons Leigh Peters • B. Conrad April Jones • Lou Scott • Brad Kulp
(919)833.0107 1028 OBERLIN RD, SUITE 228 RALEIGH, NC 27605 WWW.PLUMHAIRATELIER.COM
Triangle Style Magazine is published four times per year by Parsons People, LLC. All editorial contained within is the property of the publisher and cannot be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission. The publisher accepts no liability for the accuracy of statements made by the writers or advertisers. ©2021 Parsons People, LLC
TRIANGLE STYLE MAGAZINE Post Office Box 19535 Raleigh, North Carolina 27619 Phone: (919) 633-9176 www.trianglestyle.com FOR SUBSCRIPTIONS:
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We are a wonderful center filled with delightful boutiques to visit, all within walking distance. We have everything you need from fabulous restaurants, delicious ice cream, exquisite clothing boutique, hair styling to home school needs. Located on Raleigh's premier Glenwood Avenue. Once you visit our center you will see why we are at the center of your life - close by and easy to access.
OAKPARK
SHOPPING CENTER
6001 GLENWOOD AVENUE, RALEIGH | (1.5 MILES WEST OF CRABTREE VALLEY MALL) WWW.OAKPARKSHOPS.COM
STOP BY AND VISIT AND YOU'LL SEE WHY WE'RE ALL YOU NEED. ANIME PARADAISU 919.610.7735 | ACCENTS HAIR SALON 919.787.6633 | ARTISTRY INK 984.200.1695 BASH BOUTIQUE OF RALEIGH 919.782.2165 | BERNINA WORLD OF SEWING 919.782.2945 CAPITAL COMICS OF RALEIGH 919.781.9500 | CAPITAL BUY SELL AND TRADE 919.637.1793 CASA CARBONE RISTORANTE 919.781.8750 | DOUGLAS FURS 919.782.2165 | FRESH! LOCAL ICE CREAM 919.881.6003 GENTLEMAN'S CHOICE BARBERSHOP 919-510-5155 | GINGHAM & POSH CUSTOM GIFT BASKETS 919.783.5330 HOME SCHOOL GATHERING PLACE 919.571.8106 | JACK RABBIT SIGNS 919.571.1185 MAGGI BRIDAL 919.781.2898 | MAUS PIANO & ORGAN 919.782.8391 | NATURE’S RELEAF NC 919.424.7542 O’MALLEY’S TAVERN 919.787.1234 | THE ORGANIC BEDROOM 919.521.5566 | THE PEDDLER STEAK HOUSE 919.787.6980 PRECISION QUARTZ 919.349.8147 | PUNKTURE TATTOO STUDIO - 919.803.7198 ROGUE STUDIO 919.708-8324 | TRIANGLE DESIGN KITCHENS 919.787.0256 WREN AND WILLOW DAYCARE WITH MONTESSORI PROGRAM 919.924.5234 610.462.7706
LIGHT RETAILER SPOT
EXCELLENCE. EXPERIENCE. EXCLUSIVITY. We are a full service outpatient surgical center specializing in all areas of aesthetic surgery of the face, breast and body.
As A Board Certified Plastic Surgeon with over 25 Years Experience, Dr. Morea’s meticulous attention to detail is evident with every patient. He takes the time to listen to each patient’s individual aesthetic goals and is therefor able to deliver quality results that are beautiful and natural.
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THE TRIANGLE’S
AWARD WINNING NATURAL BEAUTY DESTINATION • LASH EXTENSIONS & LIFTS • CUSTOMIZED HOLISTIC FACIALS • BROW TINTS & MICROBLADING • SUNLESS TANNING • BRAZILIAN WAXING & MORE!
inside 18 WINTER GLAM Look gorgeous with these fabulous winter outfits from local boutiques 32 UNMASK YOUR SKIN Five all natural masks you have to try 38 TEA TREE OIL Four reasons to add Tea Tree Oil to your beauty routine 40 CLASSIC NEVER GOES OUT OF STYLE Check out these five that have passed the test of time 44 GET OUTSIDE Festivals and concerts are back! Check out what’s coming to the Triangle
CARY: 201 W. CHATHAM ST #101 336.862.6946 • NATURALESTHETICS.ORG
62 NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS Try one of these resolutions that are easier to keep and can make more of a difference. 64 MAKE YOUR LIVING SPACE BIGGER Thirteen creative ways to make your small living room feel bigger
{in every issue}
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FOR ANY SERVICES RENDERED DURING ONE VISIT. Use code “TRIANGLESTYLE” Coupon is limited to one per customer & household.
Monday to Saturday 11-6 • Closed Sundays best day spa
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29 model spotlight : Samantha Skowronek 36 ask anna 52 road trip : Fayetteville 56 on exhibit : Nasher Museum 46 triangle trends 73 advertiser directory 74 triangle fashionistas
{on the cover} Photographer: Dimitri Williams Photography dimitriphotos.com Styling: Crystal Watts, @crystalcwatts Model: Samantha Skowronek Location: The DIllon, Raleigh Outfit: Fab’rik Boutique
BOUTIQUE
2702 Hillsborough Road Durham, NC 27705 | thesmittenboutique.com 919 530 1000 Monday-Friday 10-5 and Saturday 10-4
EXCEPTIONAL REAL ESTATE SERVICES MANAGE. RENT. BUY. SELL . INVEST FOR 20 YEARS AND COUNTING TRIANGLE PROPERTY OWNERS HAVE TRUSTED EVA WITH THEIR HOMES...BECAUSE YOU HAVE ENOUGH TO WORRY ABOUT!
CALL ON EVA VANAKEN AS YOUR EXCLUSIVE AGENT FOR ALL YOUR REAL ESTATE NEEDS
Eva VanAken 919.819.8477
EVANAKEN@BLOCKREALTY.COM
Convenient one-stop shopping!
Bank of America Brixx Wood Fired Pizza Chick-fil-A Chuy’s Tex-Mex Cinnaholic Club Pilates Cold Stone Creamery Courtyard Marriott DICED Salads, Wraps & Bowls Dickey’s Barbecue Pit Embassy Nails Spa Five Guys Burgers and Fries Flour Power Kids Cooking School Golf Galaxy Guitar Center Harris Teeter Hickory Tavern Hobby Lobby Improv Comedy Club Jersey Mike’s Subs Massage Envy Mattress Firm Menchie’s Frozen Yogurt Orangetheory Fitness Panera Bread Paragon Theaters Parkside Eye Care Parkside Family Dental Peoples Bank Persis Indian Grill Petco Phenix Salon Suites Pink Magnolia Boutique Potbelly Sandwich Shop Pura Vida Studio Signature Nail Spa Smallcakes A Cupcakery Smoothie King Spectrum Sport Clips Starbucks Sunrise Dental Supercuts Sushi at the Park T-Mobile Target Taziki’s Mediterranean Café Tijuana Flats Tricity Family Medicine & Urgent Care Clinic UPS Verizon Wireless Waxing the City Wok on Fire Zaniac Learning Zambrero
COMING SOON! BB’s Crispy Chicken
I-540 & NC 55 • Cary, NC 27519 I-40, exit 278 on O’Kelly Chapel Road
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fashion | fitness | portraits | weddings
Dimitri Williams owner/photographer
919-341-9397
dimitriphotos@gmail.com facebook.com/dimitriphotos twitter.com/fotosbydwp instagram.com/fotosbydwp
“SUCh” GIFTS FOR GIVING LAFAYETTE VILLAGE
Corner of Honeycutt & Falls of Neuse, Raleigh
(919) 977-6166
LETS BE SOCIAL! @STUFNSUCHRALEIGH FACEBOOK/STUFNSUCHANDTHECOSHEKEEPS
GET THE LOOK: triangle boutiques
WINTER GLAM STAND OUT WITH THESE GORGEOUS WINTER LOOKS
Model: Samantha Skowronek IG @samskowronek Photographer: Dimitri Williams Photography dimitriphotos.com Styling: Crystal Watts, @crystalcwatts Location: The Dillon 223 S West St, Raleigh thedillonraleigh.com
Dress, Earrings, Necklace: At Ease Boutique, Raleigh Shoes: Fab’rik
Dress & Heels: At Ease Boutique, Raleigh Necklace: Smitten Boutique, Durham
winter | 23
Dress, At Ease Boutique, Raleigh Heels: Fab'rik, Raleigh
24 | triangle style
Dress, Shoes & Earrings: Fab'rik, Raleigh
22 | triangle styleUNO DE 50 NECKLACES, RINGS, EARRINGS + DRESS - SMITTEN BOUTIQUE spring | 25
Dress and Jewelry: Smitten Boutique, Durham Heels: Fab’rik, Raleigh
Top, Pants, Necklace: Smitten Boutique, Durham Heels: Fab’rik, Raleigh
Dress: Smitten Boutique, Durham Boots: Fab’rik
Body Suit, Skirt: Fab’rik, Raleigh
Pants, Body Suit, Earrings, Heels: Fab’rik, Raleigh
Dress: Zuna Apparel, Raleigh Shoes and Hoops: Fab’rik, Raleigh
Top: Zuna Apparel, Raleigh Shorts & Hoops: Fab’rik, Raleigh
Dress: Zuna Apparel, Raleigh Necklace: Smitten Boutique, Durham Heels: Fab’rik, Raleigh
* WHAT IS CURRENTLY ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND? I always have a bottle of water, some type of lip balm, (I’m currently loving the Laneige lip sleeping mask), and my new favorite book Untamed by Glennon Doyle. * HAVE YOU RECENTLY FOUND A BEAUTY PRODUCT YOU CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT? I recently started using the Tonic from Skin by Blair. It makes my skin so smooth and glowy, plus she’s a local in Charlotte. * WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR TOP CLOTHING BRANDS? I love to mix high end and budget pieces together! Some of my staple items are from places like Banana Republic, J. Crew, and Express. I also love it when I find unique and vintage items at boutiques. * BEST PART OF 2021? In February I was able to start my dream job as a neurosurgical intensive care nurse! * DO YOU HAVE ANY HOLIDAY TRADITIONS THAT ARE STILL GOING STRONG? As long as I can remember, my grandparents would take my siblings and me to pick out an ornament that best symbolized a key accomplishment of our lives that year. These decorations have become an ornamental chronology of our lives. I lost my grandfather this year, and to celebrate him, I picked out an ornament that will always remind me of him. Follow on instagram: @samskowronek
Zuna Apparel Fair Trade +Environmentally Conscious
www.ZunaApparel.com Quick Shipping Made in America
Let's be Social @Zuna.Apparel.llc @ZunaApparel
UNMASK YOUR SKIN www.the-polished-pineapple.com
We love to curl up on the couch with a good book or Netflix show and big glass of red wine -while letting these masks work their magic. Feel the tingle! Keep in mind, we don't do a mask every night. But we love to rotate these out regularly, since each delivers different benefits. One type of mask that we are consistent with (say 2x week) . .. and we recommend that you also be ... is for exfoliating. Our aestheticians at local spas Synergy and Lorena Luca once told us that products like retinol penetrate best when you're diligent about exfoliating. If you're not removing that dead layer of skin cells, you're wasting your time and money with anti-aging products! #WordsofWisdom
KORA ORGANICS Turmeric BHA Brightening Treatment Mask
Here are some of our favorites that we recommend you try. And because we're all about that #cleanbeauty life, these are ALL natural and a-okay to put on your body.
DRUNK ELEPHANT T.L.C. Sukari Babyfacial™ AHA + BHA Mask
BEAUTYCOUNTER + Charcoal Facial Mask TATCHA Violet-C Radiance Mask
JOSH ROSEBROOK ADVANCED HYDRATION MASK
- HERE’S TO A NEW YEAR AND GREAT HAIR
-
LOCHMERE PAVILION 2425 KILDAIRE FARM RD #303, CARY, (919) 858-9996 STONE CREEK 113 LEDGESTONE WAY, CARY, (919) 380-1700 JFGEMELLI.COM
CLASSIC RED LIPSTICKS NOTHING INSTANTLY GLAMS UP YOUR LOOK THAN A CLASSIC RED LIP. CHECK OUT THESE FOUR LIPSTICKS THAT HAVE STOOD THE TEST OF TIME
MAC Cosmetic’s Matte Lipstick in Ruby Woo A cult classic! Bright-red matte lipstick with blue undertones that looks great on all skin colors.
Maybelline’s Color Sensational Red Revival Looking for a great drugstore dupe of a designer red? This one is it! Pigmented creamy lipstick formula.
NARS Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in Dragon Girl Taylor Swift and her signature red...This Velvet Matte Lip Pencil is one of Tay tays favorites.
Revlon’s Super Lustrous Lipstick in Fire & Ice Going all the way back to 1952, this universally flattering red lipstick has been a staple for decades!
Want to make lipstick more daytime-appropriate? Try these two tips can tone it down. • Use your finger - Tap the color on with a finger instead of using directly from the tube • Blot - with a paper towel, paper, receipt, anything handy and then add lip balm on afterwards to keep lips from drying out.
HI ANNA, I AM CURIOUS ABOUT THE COVID VACCINE AND BOOSTERS AND ANY COMPLICATIONS WITH INJECTABLES? IS THERE ANY PROCEDURE PROTOCOL WE SHOULD FOLLOW? - MELISSA Now that a vaccine is widely available, the implications surrounding other aesthetics treatments have been on our minds as well. As always, patient safety and positive outcomes are our top priority at Synergy. While we haven’t seen complications with filler and Botox® for people who have already been vaccinated in our practice, we have been following the clinical trials closely as the vaccines rolled out. In clinical trials, there were a handful (out of thousands) of people with previously injected dermal fillers who experienced mild facial swelling after receiving the vaccine. This swelling was temporary and resolved on its own--- and was only seen with dermal fillers, not Botox®. There haven’t been any official guidelines to avoid injectables after the vaccine, but we are closely monitoring the situation for any new developments. For now, we recommend playing it safe and waiting until the vaccine has taken full effect before you come in for your favorite injectables. It takes about two full Anna Churchill is the weeks after your final founder of dose of the vaccine Synergy Spa for it to take effect & Aesthetics with two locations in Raleigh. and after that, we She also teaches would love to see you corrective makeup and innovative skin care in! As always, if you to dermatologists, have any questions, be plastic surgeons, aestheticians, and sure to contact a skilled and spa owners worldwide. trusted medical provider for the Email your questions to askanna@trianglestyle.com most up to date information.
17
THE BEAUTY OF
TEA TREE OIL 4 REASONS TO ADD TEA TREE OIL TO YOUR BEAUTY ROUTINE
Tea tree oil is a purified extract of the Melaleuca alternifolia plant, a native of Australia. It has been used for centuries in traditional medicine as a natural skincare and beauty treatment. As is so often the case, science has only recently started to catch up and verify the usefulness of this ancient oil, exploring the more than one hundred identified biological compounds it contains While traditional uses range from soothing coughs to dressing wounds, it is in the area of beauty care that tea tree oil is now most widely known. It has the following strong benefits for skin, hair, lips, and nails: Warning: Tea tree oil has powerful properties and should never be taken internally. A very small number of people can exhibit a serious allergic reaction if the oil is consumed in any quantity, although it is perfectly safe when used as directed.
NATURAL SKIN CARE Tea tree oil contains natural antibacterial agents known as terpenes, which makes it a great general cleanser as well as an effective treatment for acne and some fungal infections. It can be dabbed directly onto warts, pimples, or cold sores using a cotton bud to reduce swelling and speed up healing. However, it shouldn't be applied undiluted to ordinary skin as it can act as an irritant in high concentrations. Instead, add a few drops of the oil to your normal nonmedicated face wash to help keep your skin free of the bacteria that CHAPPED LIPS can provoke pimples and acne out- Tea tree oil combines antibacterial and antiseptic actions with an ability to reduce swelling and breaks. inflammation. This makes it ideal for treating chapped and sore lips. To use, mix the oil with a HEALTHIER HAIR This essential oil is also a valuable neutral carrier oil, using approximately one part addition to your hair care routine. tea tree oil to 20 parts of carrier. Gently masOnce a week, simply blend a few sage in to the affected areas. Never use pure drops into a neutral carrier such as oil directly on chapped lips or other broken skin coconut or olive oil then massage as it can cause a very uncomfortable burning the mixture into your scalp. Leave sensation. For ongoing healthy lips, mix a small for half an hour before washing it amount of tea tree oil into your regular lip balm out with a mild shampoo and warm and use as normal. water. This will unclog your follicles to promote healthy, lush hair NAILS growth as well as nourishing the The oil's powerful anti-fungal and antiseptic hair roots to provide body and actions makes it ideal for treating nail infecshine. The antibacterial terpenes in tions and discolorations. Apply a small drop tea tree oil will also reduce scalp straight on to the discolored area of the nail, or irritation and dandruff so, if you again mix with neutral oil for a more general suffer from this, mix a drop or two preventative treatment to keep nails healthy, into your usual non-medicated strong, and fungus free. shampoo. Tea tree oil is widely available online, through beauty salons, or from mainstream retail outlets. You can buy it either as a pure essential oil or in ready-formulated products such as moisturizers, lotions, and creams suitable for a wide range of therapies. However you use it, its natural yet powerful properties will be a welcome addition to your beauty and health routine.
THE LACOSTE POLO SHIRT: A TRUE CLASSIC The first modern polo shirt to ever be worn was created and introduced by the late tennis player Jean Rene Lacoste in the early 1920's. Following a tournament where he won while wearing one, the shirt quickly earned a fan base among athletes and was adopted by Polo players, later leading to its name. By the 1950's the polo shirt had gained general popularity among higher status people, leading to mass production and availability in numerous colors. Its breakthrough, however, came in 1953, when President Eisenhower was pictured wearing a white Lacoste polo while playing golf. Since then, many other brands have adopted the style, but the design remains nearly identical to that of almost 100 years ago.
CONVERSE CHUCK TAYLOR ALL-STARS The famous and historic Converse sneakers were introduced in 1917 as basketball shoes and were initially named the Converse "nonskid." The shoe's popularity grew when basketball player and trainer Chuck Taylor joined Converse and began selling the shoes to young basketball players. In 1932 the sneakers were rebranded as the Chuck Taylor All-Stars.
CLASSICS FIVE THAT HAVE PASSED THE TEST OF TIME
Their peak came about around the 1960s when they became the preferred shoes by professional basketball players. Since then, the "Chucks" have become a staple of American culture, and it's likely that at least half of the American population has owned a pair during their lifetime. To this day, these classic shoes remain "hip," and their owners range from street rockers to those on Bono's level.
LACOSTE.COM
RAY-BAN AVIATOR SUNGLASSES The classic metal framed aviator glasses originally were released and marketed as the Ray-Ban Aviator in 1939. Initially made of plastic, they went through several changes from 1929 to 1936 until the final and successful product came available in 1939. The sunglasses quickly became popular among those in the military service, and in 1944 became world-famous when Gen. Douglas MacArthur was pictured wearing them during World War II. The image circulated in newspapers and people quickly adopted the style. Since then, they have become a classic, and the 80-plus-year-old design remains nearly unchanged.
LEVI'S 501 JEANS Levi Strauss & Co. dates way, way back. This company was founded in 1853, making it about 165 years old. In its early days, Levi's were predominantly in the domain of cowboys and other laborers looking for heavy-duty pants. It wasn't until 1890, however, that Levi Strauss introduced the 501. Their popularity exploded during the mid-1900s when they became a staple for many subcultures, much like other items on this list. Now, more than 60 years later, the style remains nearly unchanged, and their popularity increases parallel to the world population. No matter your age or social hierarchy, you can never go wrong with a pair of Levi's.
DR. MARTENS "AIRWAIR" 1460 (THE PUNKER BOOT) OK, maybe these aren't exclusive to those in the punk-rock scene, but it's where they gained their popularity. The iconic boots began being mass produced during the late 1940s in the UK and by 1960 a shoe company by the name of R. Griggs saw its potential on an international level. R. Griggs obtained an exclusive license and redesigned the boot and in 1960 named it the "AirWair" 1460. In its early days, the 1460 was mostly prevalent among postal service workers and other laborers who did a lot of walking. The boot, however, blew up a few years later when Pete Townsend of The Who made it part of his signature look. Since then, the Dr. Martens "AirWair" 1460 has been adopted by numerous rock subcultures worldwide and has recently been included in the hip-hop scene as well.
THE ZIPPER IS STUCK There are two methods for curing this. Try running a lead pencil up and down the zip; it should give your zip a bit of slip to get it moving. Similarly, soap will loosen up the zip and get it going again.
SHOWING TOO MUCH CLEAVAGE Our old friend the safety pin can spare your blushes and keep your top a little nearer together. BRA STRAPS KEEP FALLING DOWN A safety pin on the inside of your garment will keep that rogue bra strap in place. If you don’t want to make a hole in your clothes, try double-sided tape.
FASHION FIXES
TO KEEP HANDY IN YOUR PURSE HEM HAS FALLEN Use double-sided tape (we like Hollywood Fashion Tape (found at ulta) which comes in its own very chic handbag friendly tin) for ‘inside’ the hem, or just Scotch tape the top of the hem to the inside of your trouser leg/skirt.
STATIC CLING Simply take off the offending item of clothing, and give it a good shake. Hopefully this should do the trick. If you happen to have a metal coat hanger on you, rub it onto the inside of your clothes.
DEODORANT STREAKS/MAKEUP ON CLOTHING Small-packs of baby wipes are readily available and should do a good job of temporarily cleaning the area. You can do one of two thigns for deooderant stains..Try rubbing the fabric together to rub the stain off. Or simply wipe clean with a baby wipe, that should do the trick.
LITTLE BIRDIE
>>
AROUND TOWN
COUNCILMAN DAVID KNIGHT, AN EAGLE SCOUT HIMSELF, PRESENTING THE BOY'S WITH THEIR MERIT BADGES.
Check out the recently completed (AND AMAZING) mural painted by Matt Mahler in Five Points on Fairview Road, Raleigh. The mural was made possible by the City of Raleigh Grant funds which was applied for by the Five Points Business Association. Matt enlisted the help of his son's boy scouts' troop. (Troop 321) Follow Matt’s work on instagram @mattmahlerart be sure to tag your selfies #wishyouwerehere #fivepointsselfie
WINTER CONCERT & FESTIVALS
THE HIP HOP NUTCRACKER WITH SPECIAL GUEST MC KURTIS BLOW
Sun, Dec 26 2:00 PM “A true one-of-a-kind experience” Elle Magazine - DPAC www.dpacnc.com
A VERY JERRY CHRISTMAS PARTY FEATURING: BRING OUT YER DEAD December 19
Lincoln Theatre, 126 E Cabarrus St, Raleigh, NC 27601
MURRAY & PETER PRESENT: A DRAG QUEEN CHRISTMAS Thursday, December 23 8:00pm The Carolina Theatre of Durham
JAY WHEELER January 7
Doors open at 7pm, show starts at 8pm. - The Ritz- 2820 Industrial Dr., Raleigh
JO KOY FUNNY IS FUNNY WORLD TOUR JANUARY 16,
SUNDAY 8:00 PM Duke Energy Center for the Performing Arts As one of today’s premiere stand-up comics Jo Koy has come a long way from his modest beginnings performing at a Las Vegas coffee house. The hugely relatable comic pulls inspiration from his family, specifically his son.
TREY KENNEDY THE ARE YOU FOR REAL? TOUR Sat, Jan 22 7:30 PM
- DPAC www.dpacnc.com
THE CHAMBER ORCHESTRA OF THE TRIANGLE Sun, Jan 9, 3 – 7 PM The Carolina Theatre 309 W Morgan St, Durham, NC
ZOSO THE ULTIMATE LED ZEPPELIN EXPERIENCE January 14 - 8:30 pm Lincoln Theatre 126 E Cabarrus St, Raleigh
ASHLEY MCBRYDE – THIS TOWN TALKS TOUR WITH SPECIAL GUEST ASHLAND CRAFT Sun, Jan 28 -8pm The Carolina Theatre 309 W Morgan St, Durham carolinatheatre.org
THE RINK PRESENTED BY UNC HEALTH NOVEMBER 20, 2021 - JANUARY 1, 2022
Come enjoy the thrill of ice skating in a winter wonderland created in the heart of downtown Raleigh! THE RINK presented by UNC Health features a natural ice skating rink with stunning views of the Raleigh skyline. Red Hat Amphitheater Skater Admission: $11* includes skate rental Non-Skater Admission: $6* *taxes and fees may apply
https://www.redhatamphitheater.com/events/rink-presented-unc-health
ALAN PARSONS
Feb 3, 2022, 8 PM The Carolina Theatre 309 W Morgan St, Durham
AMERICAN AQUARIUM Feb 5th, 2022, 8 PM Lincoln Theatre 126 E Cabarrus St, Raleigh
IMAGINE DRAGONS: MERCURY WORLD TOUR February 10th - PNC Arena 1400 Edwards Mill Rd, Raleigh
THE MARIAS
Feb 12, 2022, 8 PM Cat’s Cradle 300 E Main St, Carrboro
HENRY ROLLINS: GOOD TO SEE YOU 2022 MARCH 31, 2022 | 7:30 PM Duke Energy Center for the Performing Arts
On the Good To See You 2022 tour Henry Rollins will faithfully recount the events of his life in the brief pre-COVID period since the last tour and when things got even stranger over the last several months. It's been an interesting time to say the least and he's got some great stories to tell.
DANCING WITH THE STARS - LIVE TOUR 2022 FEBRUARY 27, 2022 | SUNDAY | 8:00 PM Duke Energy Center for the Performing Arts
America’s favorite dance show is coming to your town with “Dancing with the Stars – Live Tour 2022!”
ELLE KING:
DRUNK (AND I DON’T WANNA GO HOME) TOUR 2022 WITH SPECIAL GUEST FANCY HAGOOD Tue, March 1 - 8:00pm The Carolina Theatre of Durham
WINTER JAM 2022 March 19/ Saturday @ 6:00 PM
PNC Arena Presented by NewSong Ministries with Premier Productions, Winter Jam,Christian music’s biggest multi-artist tour, is back for 2022 with headliners Skillet and Tauren Wells and a solid lineup of acts. Sponsored by Compassion International and coupled with a suggested $10 at the door donation, Winter Jam welcomes everyone to the “All Together Now” tour.
CAVETOWN
Tessa Violet, Addison Grace WEDNESDAY, MARCH 30 Doors: 6:30pm : Show: 7:30pm Cat’s Cradle 300 E Main St, Carrboro
FIRST NIGHT • RALEIGH • 2022 DECEMBER 31ST The day’s festivities fill venues from museum lobbies to church sanctuaries to street corners across more than 20 blocks of downtown Raleigh on December 31, offering entertainment for all ages. Festivities begin with the early afternoon Children’s Celebration. The Evening Celebration comes alive with performances in 30+ downtown Raleigh locations, featuring interactive art installations, drama, magic, music, comedy and dance. The night is capped off with music on the outdoor Main Stage, the famous Raleigh Acorn Drop, and a spectacular fireworks show.
HOBO DIVINE BAG IN NAVY This bag is perfectly soft, slouchy and spacious, and will soon be your new favorite go-to bag! Crafted in our Soft Hide, a lightweight yet incredibly durable! Smitten Boutique 2702 Hillsborough Rd, Durham (919) 530-1000 thesmittenboutique.com
TRIANGLE TRENDS YOUR RESOURCE FOR GREAT GIFT IDEAS AND SAVINGS
SO MUCH STUF AT THE SUCH Shopping fun for everyone STUF N SUCH and the co. she keeps Lafayette Village, Corner of Honeycutt and Falls of Neuse, Raleigh, NC 27615, (919) 977-6166
MAKE A STATEMENT At Ease at Falls Village ShoppingCenter 6625 Falls of Neuse Rd., Raleigh (919) 790-1812
ALL YOUR WINTER LOOKS COVERED Fab’rik Village District, 2039 Cameron St., Raleigh (919) 833-1210 www.fabrikstyle.com
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ROAD TRIP
WEEKEND IN FAYETTEVILLE The ultimate guide for what to do while spending a weekend in Fayetteville. Just a little over an hour from Raleigh, there is SO much more the city has to offer. In early October, I was invited by the Fayetteville Area Convention & Visitors Bureau to spend a weekend exploring Fayetteville. I had an amazing time exploring Downtown and the surrounding areas. The food scene is growing quickly and there are some incredible places I highly recommend trying.
Let’s jump in and I’ll share where to eat, stay, and play!
Anna Haddock www.thecoffeetableblog.com follow on instagram.com @annakhaddock photos by Samuel Holt Photography
THE FOOD
The food I tried while in Fayetteville was INCREDIBLE. There are so many restaurants I would make the drive back for. • Garden View Cafe - Upon arriving in the city, we stopped for lunch at Garden View Cafe within the Cape Fear Botanical Gardens. Not only is this a gorgeous outdoor spot to have lunch, but Chef Lou and his family are very passionate about what they serve. They focus on quality and creativity. The food there was definitely as tasty as it was beautiful! The rainbow bread was extremely insta-worthy (wink wink.) My recommendations: the herb lemonade, the pimento cheese sandwich, and the avocado caprese salad. • Napkins Restaurant - I can’t say enough good things about the food at Napkins. Napkins Restaurant is on the grounds of Dirtbag Ales Brewery and is a must try for while you’re there grabbing a beer. Their menu changes frequently, but based on what I tried during my time there, I trust anything they serve is amazing. • Pharaoh’s Legacy: Mediterranean Cuisine + Bar - Okay, where are my Mediterranean food lovers? You will definitely want to stop for dinner here. Picture all your favorites: hummus, tzataziki, gyro, shawarma. Craving it now? Yeah, me too. They also have a great wine + cocktail list! • Blue Moon Cafe - Brunch time!! Okay three words: THE CRAB DIP. I will be going back to #ColorfulFay very soon for this crab dip. Fantastic. Also, the mimosas had edible glitter in them which made me very, very, happy. 10/10 recommend. It is located in the heart of Downtown, so it is surrounded by lots of fun murals, shopping, and activities to explore afterwards. • Uptown’s Chicken & Waffles – This is definitely another great brunch or dinner spot while you’re visiting Fayetteville. Chef Judy puts her heart and soul into the dishes and you taste the love. You might recognize her as a recent winner of “Supermarket Stakeout” on the Food Network. My recommendations: The Destiny w/ a sweet potato waffle and maple pecan butter, with a side of mac & cheese. YUM!
WHERE TO STAY For the weekend, my travel writer friends and I stayed in Fayetteville’s newest bed and breakfast, The MacPherson House. “Rooted in history, but updated with modern amenities, we hope you'll come stay a while and leave feeling refreshed.” The MacPherson House is all about rest, wellness, and comfort. I loved all the small details like fresh eucalyptus in the showers, delicious chocolate chip cookies by the door, and tea & coffee available on each floor. The B&B is a historic home that was dissembled, moved across town, and then restored to its 1920 configuration. It was a very charming and relaxing home away from home. The team at MacPherson was very welcoming and easily accessible if ever we had a question. In the morning, we woke up to green smoothies, breakfast, and a yoga class hosted downstairs. What a great way to start the day! Head to their website www.macphersonhouse.com to explore their offerings and different rooms available for booking.
WHERE TO PLAY • Cape Fear Botanical Gardens - For some fun outdoor exploring, your first stop should be the beautiful Cape Fear Botanical Gardens! This is a gorgeous place to go for a stroll, enjoy lunch on the patio, and enjoy the nature. I also really enjoyed seeing their produce garden, where the herbs are grown for the herb lemonade I mentioned in my food section. Definitely recommend for a fun and safe activity the whole family will enjoy. • Kayak on Hope Mills Lake I kayaked for the first time during my Fayetteville trip and it was so much fun. Yakalacky Outfitters came with their kayaks, canoes, life jackets and gave us a quick lesson. 10/10 recommend if you feel like you need to unwind and clear your head. V relaxing. There is also Big T’s Snowballs at the lake entrance to stop by and grab a sweet treat to enjoy by the water. • Dirtbag Ales Brewery and Taproom - Craft Beer. Tons of gorgeous outdoor space. Napkins Restaurant food. Need I say more? This is the perfect place to hang out for the afternoon and enjoy the gorgeous Fall weather! • Hummingbird Candle Co. Ever made your own candle? I hadn’t until this trip and it was the coolest experience! You can drop by Hummingbird and shop their pre-made products or grab a friend and make your own! • Cool Spring/Downtown District Downtown Fayetteville is filled with colorful murals and art installations to admire. Get your walking shoes on and explore the city!
ON EXHIBIT
At the Nasher Museum, a group exhibition, “In Relation to Power: Politically Engaged Works from the Collection,” focuses on ways that artists comment on, and often vehemently resist, the dynamics of inequitable systems of power. Many works are on view at the Nasher for the first time. 2001 Campus Dr. Durham, NC 27705 Museum info desk: 919-684-5135 nasher.duke.edu
Wendy Red Star, Déaxitchish / Pretty Eagle from Medicine Crow & The 1880 Crow Peace Delegation, 2014. Pigment print on archival photo paper, edition 11/15, 24 × 16 1/2 inches (60.96 × 41.91 cm). Collection of the Nasher Museum of Art at Duke University. Museum purchase with funds provided by Jennifer McCracken New (A.B.’90, J.D.’94) and Jason G. New (J.D.’94), 2019.26.1.7. © Wendy Red Star.
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Hoppin' John
A classic Southern dish to celebrate New Year's
INGREDIENTS 1/3 pound bacon, or 1 ham hock plus 2 tablespoons oil 1 celery rib, diced 1 small yellow onion, diced 1 small green bell pepper, diced 2 garlic cloves, minced 8 ounces dried black-eyed peas, about 1 1/4 cups 1 bay leaf 2 teaspoons dried thyme 1 heaping teaspoon Cajun seasoning Salt 2 cups long-grain rice Scallions or green onions for garnish
PREPARATION • Heat olive oil in a large pot and add salt pork. Cook until browned. Typically about five or so minutes. • Add onion, celery, green pepper and garlic, and saute over medium-high heat for about four to five minutes, or until browned. • Add black-eyed peas, dried thyme, bay leaf, salt, black pepper and cayenne pepper to the pot, and cover with 4 cups of water. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer for 30 to 60 minutes, or until peas are tender. • Strain out water and remove the bay leaf. Taste and if needed adjust seasoning. • Cook white rice according directions • Place rice in bowls and top with black-eyed pea mixture. Garnish with scallions.
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KEEP IN TOUCH VOLUNTEER ONCE A WEEK. It's good to remind yourself that there are other people who aren't as lucky as yourself and who need real help. Spending time with them can give you a much needed perspective. Be sure to check out activate good, www.activategood.org they connects individuals, groups, and companies to volunteer opportunities in Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill, Cary, Apex, and all the towns in between.
New Year's Resolutions
New Year's resolutions are a popular part of celebrating the new year. For a lot of people, it's an opportunity to jumpstart changes in their lifestyles or a way to goad themselves into doing something they've been putting off. But making the same resolution every year and getting no farther towards your goal of weight loss, healthier living, saving more money, getting a new job or reading the books you've been buying but not opening, can get boring and a bit disheartening. Instead, try one of these resolutions that are easier to keep and can make more of a difference.
Even with all these new ways of keeping in touch being invented, it's still easy to lose touch. Make the time and take the time to keep in touch with friends and families. Send a letter every month to someone different, just to let them know you were thinking of them. Plan ahead and buy stamps and address 12 envelopes, you will likely send them.
TRAVEL MORE This doesn't have to mean travel to India or Peru. It can be as simple as exploring your state. Why not visit a new North Carolina town every month? Or pick five places you've been meaning to see and haven't made the time for.
DO SOMETHING NEW EVERY MONTH It’'s easy to get stuck in a rut with our routines, but New Year's resolutions are the perfect way to add some spice to your life. Write 12 things down that you want to try and, stick it on the fridge. The daily reminder will keep you on track.
MAKE AND KEEP A KINDNESS CALENDAR Resolutions don't have to be all about us. Sometimes it's good to do something for someone else for a change.
TRY A NEW FOOD EVERY MONTH
66 | triangle style
A small and simple way to shake up your routine. The Triangle has so many new restaurants openings. Get a small group of friends together for a montly dinner out. Be social and try new things; It’s a win win. Have you tried the recently opened Crawford Cookshop in Clayton?
DONATE SOMETHING EVERY WEEK With consumerism constantly on the rise, it's easy to get sucked into an acquisition mindset. Instead, donate items you might have thrown out or just don't need. Seriously, think of how much less clutter you would have if you maintained this easy resolution.
LEARN A PARTY TRICK Looking for a silly resolution? Want to have an icebreaker for conversations? Pick a party trick that's always impressed you and spend the year practicing! A quick google search of “easy card tricks” will bring up many easy to learn tricks.
PRACTICE MORE SELF-CARE MAKE A NEW FRIEND Friendships can revitalize us and support us when we need it. Each friend fulfills different needs so consider expanding your circle and see what a new relationships can do for you. The Triangle Meetup has a huge vareity of groups tailored to your interests. Check out www.meetup.com/citi es/us/nc/raleigh/
It's easy to lose track of yourself and your needs in the course of a busy life. Make yourself a priority. Why not set up all your hair appointments in advance?
New Year's resolutions don't have to be impossible goals made just to make you feel like you're helping yourself. They can be a real impetus for something new in your life. Don't let this opportunity pass you by to challenge yourself and your routines. Do better for yourself with your New Year's Resolution and find a new passion in your life.
THIRTEEN WAYS TO MAKE YOUR SMALL LIVING ROOM FEEL BIGGER
CREATIVE TIPS TO MAKE YOUR SMALL LIVING ROOM FEEL BIGGER.
BRING NATURE INTO THE SPACE Adding plants to your small space is an ideal way to open up your living room. Plants add depth and value to your tiny sitting room. The perfect place to put your plants is at the corners of the room. This strategic position gives you the illusion that there is plenty of space. PICK A FUN-SIZED SOFA It's essential to consider things like the sofa as your priority when you're planning to decorate your small living room. Most people choose large sofas, which end up filling the entire space. If you're dealing with a tiny space, pick a couch with a slimmer profile. Stay away from a bulky sofa, that is, one with a high back, high arms, and thick arms. Ensure the couch isn't touching the ground. You can get a sofa with thin legs, preferably metal or timber legs. Additionally, select a couch with clean lines. GET A CUSTOMIZED SOFA You can be dealing with a tiny living room with an odd shape. Buying a sofa may not be an ideal option for your situation. However, you can have a couch customized to fit your room. Additionally, a customized seat will elevate your small sitting room and add style to the space.
FORGO THE SOFA If your space is considerably small, you can find an alternative like club chairs. You can pick two sophisticated armchairs to add style to your living room. If you have a fireplace, position the chairs around it. Your living room will have a cozy outlook, encouraging people to have conversations while enjoying the warm space. SELECT A HUGE RUG Getting a large rug is an ideal way to make your space feel bigger. You can get your favorite pattern, including a bold one. A large rug is perfect because it doesn't split up the floor. The carpet acts as an anchor, allowing you to design the room around it. EMBRACE OTTOMANS You can choose a round ottoman when decorating your small living room. Go for a taller and upholstered option, something that'll blend in with everything else. Round ottomans can serve as extra seating when you have visitors. Also, you can use ottomans as footrests or tables. BRING IN NATURAL LIGHT Light makes any space feel bright. It's essential to allow natural light in the room by having simple window coverings. You can consider shutters or blinds as an excellent alternative to curtains. With shutters, you get both light control and privacy. A dark corner can create the illusion that a place is tiny and cramped. Ensure you allow maximum light into the living room.
GET MIRRORS Using mirrors to make a room feel more significant is an old trick, but it works wonders. You can make your small living space appear open and airy by getting more mirrors or using one oversized mirror. Consider covering an entire wall with tiled mirrors or one large mirror. The mirror reflects light hence creating an illusion of space. You can also position the mirror near your window to reflect whatever is outside. If you have a gorgeous garden, lawn, or anything worth displaying, you can have your mirror draw the outside inside. A beautiful trendy style is getting multi circle mirror. CONSIDER A TALL ART You can play tricks on your brain by mounting a tall piece of art on your wall. Since you're working with limited floor space, you'll end up filling it with furniture. It's essential to bring balance and add art that goes up the wall. Pick a piece for one of the walls in your sitting room, and the art can serve as a focal point. Most people think that having a tiny living room means getting small wall arts, but you have to do the opposite to make your space feel bigger. Therefore, acquire large pieces of art. EMBRACE SHELVES Eliminating clutter is vital when decorating a small living room. You may have many sentimental things that you want to keep and display. A shelf is an ideal way to reduce clutter, and it allows you to display your mementos. You can consider floating shelves to make your space feel open. Hanging baskets are also an excellent way to decorate your room and store things.
GET WHITE WALLS In addition to allowing more light inside the room, you can paint your walls white. White walls and ceilings keep the space extra bright. A dark room appears tiny and confined. Therefore, if you're going for a more oversized outlook, you need to consider an extra radiant space. SELECT A FUN COLOR PATTERN You can pick white walls or any other bright color theme. Having a tiny space doesn't translate to keeping it boring. You can play with colors but look for pretty pastels. However, ensure that you don't end up with a space that looks chaotic. You can mix patterns that bring out a stylish outlook. CONSIDER SMART LIGHTING You can have your lighting hanging from the ceiling or walls. The lighting gives your room a stylish and modern outlook. You can get a lamp, but hanging your lighting saves on floor space. Decorating can be a daunting process, especially if you're working with a tiny space. However, you can use the ideas above to create a sophisticated outlook. Additionally, you can get more creative and add your personalized touch to create something that feels yours.
Written By Lou Scott “What are you going to write about this month?” she said. “I am having a hard time coming up with anything yet.” She hesitated and gave me a significant look. “What about communication?” Hmmm.... She may have had something there, especially as I had been having problems with my email and my cell-phone was turned to silent when she called. (I had forgotten to turn it back up after the alarm went off.)
My favorite communication device is facetime to see my triplet grandchildren take their first steps, or watch a granddaughter dance, and another play the piano is a constant miracle to me. Facebook keeps me up on my extended family, though it was a bit tricky when we found ourselves on different sides of the political landscape.
Sometimes I forget that today’s accepted form of communication almost requires reaching for my computer before I put my feet over the edge of my bed and put on a pot of coffee. For I’m old enough to remember those good ole days before email, cell-phones, even answering machines, and the whole host of other handy communication devices were around. People had to catch you on the run, send a telegram, or drop you a line by mail. Obviously this was not a good thing in lots of situations.
As much as I have become a fan of these technical methods of communication, there are some drawbacks. For one thing, I resent all those good-intentioned group emails that pop up in my inbox. Do you realize how many you can get in one day?
Nonetheless today we have moved into the world of instant everything. I am not so sure that’s a good thing either. But I’ve grown used to it. So much more so than I had realized. For when my carrier had some sort of “glitch” for hours a few weeks back, I felt bereft, as if I were stranded in a cave on a desert island. What could I do? How could I get in touch with my children? How would I pay my bills? There was the telephone I suppose but my landline went the way of the obsolete not so long ago. Perhaps it’s better to have one after all. So what is the protocol for answering email? I told my friend I had given this great thought and decided to check mine from now on once a day. She said, “I check mine twice a day.” No matter what those in the know say, meeting expectations has a lot of merit when keeping up with friendships.
Plus, I wish I didn’t have to scroll down tons of messages advertising this and that, just to get to a real live comment of a friend. How do I eliminate a person’s likes and still keep the person I like? I can just scroll past them, of course, but I feel guilty if I don’t click like. As wonderful as Facetimeand email, let alone texting can be, they can leave me feeling alone, counting the number of people who have responded to my last entry on facebook. Nowadays, if I see a real live face in the drive-up window of the bank, I feel she is my friend. She smiles at me. She tells me to have a nice day. I tell her back. It’s a good feeling. That’s why I am letting the technology slip this afternoon. I am making reservations to do some “face time” in person, to see my granddaughter graduate from middle school. Am I going to get in the car and drive to that old-fashioned thing called a travel agency? No, I am going to my computer and log on to Expedia.com.
DOING GOOD We talked to Dr Helen Egger about her recently launched children’s mental health app Little Otter and the free holiday toolkit they provide to help parents and families navigate the stressful holiday time period. Spoiler - we got some practical tips from Dr Helen too!
IS THERE A STORY ON HOW LITTLE OTTER CAME TO BE? I co-founded Little Otter with my daughter, Rebecca Egger, because we know it can be hard to find mental health care for your children. Little Otter is born out of our lived experience as a family. In 2009, my son, Sasha, was diagnosed with a rare autoimmune brain disorder called autoimmune encephalitis. Despite our many privileges and the overall excellent care he received, we experienced first-hand that current medical and mental health systems do not put families at the center of care. Even though I’m a doctor and tenured faculty member at a major medical center, I had many experiences where medical experts dismissed my insights and treated me as uncooperative when I had questions. We created Little Otter because we know that families are searching for better care for their children, just as we have. We also know what it feels like to be overwhelmed and to feel alone. We are a state-of-the-art digital platform for online personalized mental health care for children 0-12. At Little Otter, we provide personalized care centered on your whole family through assessments and personalized care plans for big and little challenges like anxiety, depression, ADHD, trauma, as well as day to day issues like tantrums, separation anxiety, and sleep issues. We can help families understand “when to worry” and how to help their children and family thrive. Our care team includes licensed therapists, psychiatrists, and masters-level parenting specialists. We offer child therapy, couples counseling, and parenting support. Parents can message, schedule appointments, and track their child’s progress in our app. We also have lots of free resources at Little Otter on our website under the Resources tab.You can trust our resources because they are written by myself and our wonderful team of experienced clinicians. Care must remain flexible because children and families are always changing and developing.Their mental health needs change and develop, adjust and wane. Little Otter is there every step of the journey! HOW EXACTLY DOES LITTLE OTTER WORK? Just like a pediatrician who cares for a child’s physical health, Little Otter cares for all aspects of a child’s mental health, along with their family’s mental health and wellbeing. Our assessments identify a family's unique needs, providing a customized care plan that includes a mix of teletherapy, digital resources, and self-management tools.
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Go to our website, littleotterhealth.com, or download our app from the Apple store. You can register with us and make your first appointment by clicking on JOIN NOW or GET STARTED. Parents can message, schedule appointments, and track their child’s progress in the Little Otter app.You will have a Care Lead who will also be your partner in making sure that your family’s care is coordinated and integrated. Every three months, your children and family will complete a mental health check-up. Your Care Lead will share your check-up results with you and your care team to work together to revise and update your care plan and needs. I also want to mention we have a free resource on our website for families as we approach the holidays. We know that during this pandemic holiday season, family dynamics can cause conflict and stress. This toolkit is a free resource for families with children 2-12 to help you understand if you should worry about your child’s mental health, and it provides tips to support your child and family going into the new year. Specifically, we are addressing child mental health, parent mental health, and family holiday stress.You take a simple quiz and select which challenges are impacting your family.You’ll then get a personalized report with insights to support your kids, your family, and yourself. It even includes activities to do with your kids that we co-created with Little Renegades. The holiday topics in the report are: • Navigating the holidays while grieving a loved one • Generational differences in parenting practices • When your child does not want to give someone a hug • Keeping sleep routines from running amok • When people comment about my child’s eating or weight • Navigating differences in holiday traditions • Dealing with difficult family members HOW DOES LITTLE OTTER DIFFER FROM TRADITIONAL THERAPIES? Little Otter is the only family-first mental health service designed just for children.
Founded and led by one of the top child psychiatrists in the world, Little Otter’s platform is based on 30 years of specialized work in children’s mental health. When you join the Little Otter family, you receive a 30minute welcome call with your Care Lead, 24/7 text access and same day appointments with providers, a custom family mental health report, measurable insights, actionable feedback, and digital resources written by Little Otter’s experts. The Little Otter digital platform makes it easy for families and providers to focus on what is most important: building trust, strengthening relationships, and working together to make life better for your kids and for your family. HOW CONCERNED ARE YOU WITH THE LONG TERM EFFECTS OF THE PANDEMIC ON OUR CHILDREN? We were in a pediatric mental health crisis before the pandemic. Now, the crisis is much worse.We found that the stresses of the COVID pandemic have increased children’s risk for mental health challenges. In a study we conducted of kids 2-12 years old, we found that 80% of the children were at increased risk for anxiety and depression. And almost 60% were at risk of problems in their social skills. What is critical to understand is that parent mental health has a big impact on child mental health. In our study, half of the parents screened positive for an anxiety disorder and a quarter for depression. To support children’s mental health we need to help the children AND we need to help parents with their mental health AND help families to reduce their stress.This is why Little Otter has a family-focused approach that provides support and mental health care for children and for their families. We will not know the long term impact of covid on children’s mental health. It will have an impact. The most important thing is that families, schools, the medical system including insurance companies and company benefits need to invest in child mental health care from screening to identify children who need help and treatment to provide children accessible, evidencebased, timely care. For too long, the mental health needs of children have not been prioritized. The pandemic makes this critical public health need even greater. Children cannot wait. ARE THERE RED FLAGS THAT EVERY PARENT SHOULD BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR THAT THE PANDEMIC WEIGHED HEAVIER THAN REALIZED ON OUR CHILDREN? If parents are seeing a change in their child’s emotions
or behaviors, changes in sleep or eating, or negative impact on their child’s functioning at school or home: take it seriously and get help. When we see changes in how our children are managing their feelings and behaviors, we need to pay attention. These changes can signal a treatable mental health challenge.The earlier that we identify when a child, parent, or family is experiencing mental health challenges, the sooner we can help. Another area that we are seeing is social skills challenges for children who have missed out on the opportunity to be in in-person school and to have regular interactions with other children. These challenges can express themselves in conflict at school with peers or anxiety, sadness, or loneliness if children are not able to make friends. Talk with your children about their experiences at school and be alert to challenges in their peer relationships. ANY TIPS FOR PARENTS GETTING OUR CHILDREN WHO ARE NOT NATURAL TALKERS TO OPEN UP? • Often doing activities with your child side-byside like cooking, doing an art project, taking a walk, can make it easier to talk about hard things. Some kids clam up if you sit them down and ask questions.
• Help your child learn how to separate ‘worried thoughts’ from calm, realistic thoughts. Unrealistic worried thoughts make the child think that something terrible will happen. Realistic, calm thoughts are based on facts–what has happened before and what usually happens in the same situation for most people. For example, if you are home late, the worried thought might be “she’s been in an accident.” A calm, realistic thought might be “she is probably stuck in traffic or stopped at the supermarket.” • Encourage your child to have self- compassion. If you hear them speaking negatively about themselves, reframe the comment to help them see it differently. For example, If they say "I will never get this right" you can reframe it to "I will try my best." Help your child to talk to themselves with the kindness they’d show a friend.
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• Look for the opportunities to connect and stop what you are doing to seize these opportunities. • Bedtime talks can be a good time to connect. • Listen to your child. Be non-judgemental and open. Don’t dismiss your child’s emotions. When you minimize your child’s feelings, you (unintentionally) send the message that you are uncomfortable with big feelings. You want your child to know that you take their feelings seriously and will help them when their big feelings overwhelm them. • Allow your child to experience their feelings without judgement or comment from you about how they should feel differently. When you minimize your child’s feelings, you (unintentionally) send the message that you are uncomfortable with your child’s feelings.
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MOVIE NIGHT
Written by Heather S. Parsons • heather@trianglestyle.com
A Separation
Winner of the 2012 Best Foreign Film award, this gripping courtroom drama and intimate portrait of a family in crisis begins with Simin’s petition for divorce. Although she cares for her husband, Nader, Simin wants to leave Iran and move to America, but Nader refuses to go with her. He tells the judge, “It’s up to her; she can stay or she can go but she can’t take our daughter.” Nader wants to stay behind in order to care for his father. Simin says, “His father doesn’t even know he is his son,” “But I know he is my father,” Nader answers. “What should I do?” Simin asks the judge. “Go back to your life,” he tells her. Instead, she moves in with her parents, and Nader hires a woman to help care for his father while he is at work. From there on in, everything changes
The Queen's Gambit
(award winning 2020 Netflix miniseries) Nine-year-old Beth Harmon is standing next to a banged up car on the side of the road. Inside the car is Beth's mother; however, she did not survive. Even so, Beth remains calm. (From my point of view, as a mother, I think she takes her mother's death just a little too much in stride.) Although generally inscrutable, however, overall Beth does seem to be a nice little girl. At the orphanage, where she now lives, Beth develops a friendship with her roommate. Unfortunately, Beth's roommate introduces her to the pleasure of standing in line for the nighty sleep aid, which tastes like candy. In fact, Beth tips over the large jar that contains them. However Beth's true love is chess. She is introduced to it, when cleaning blackboard brushes in the school's basement. Way behind the furnace, in the far corner, the school janitor, is hunched over a chess board on a table. She walks over to him and asks what he is doing, And because she shows no intention of leaving, the janitor grudgingly tells her to pull up a chair. Beth is hooked. Not only a genius, as everyone soon discovers, but also inscrutable, Beth travels from one tournament after another. Although I don't know how to play chess, I found this miniseries compulsively entertaining: it boasts interesting subplots; it has depth; and the acting is superb. No wonder it was nominated for so many awards.
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