JUNE 2010
UNCLE ANDY’S DIGEST
.com
The Most Unusual Digest in America
FREE AND WORTH EVERY PENNY!
Come see our completely renovated restaurant
OPEN FATHER’S DAY Sunday, June 20th Treat Dad to a mouth-watering meal!
WE’RE BACK ON COURSE!
Join us for fantastic food & service!! Voted L/A’s Best Seafood Chowder 2004 - 2007
The Vallee family: Norm, Connie, Belinda & Mick
165 High Street, Auburn • 782-7796 • Open Tuesday - Sunday • www.villageinnmaine.com
31 Blake St. Lewiston
782-7113 Call Dan Dumont for your FREE Estimate!
138 Main Street, South Paris 744-0290 • 1 800 686-7633 • www.creaserjewelers.com AUBURN MEDICAL ASSOCIATES 15 Gracelawn Road, Suite 103, Auburn
B STREET HEALTH CENTER 57 Birch Street, Lewiston
CAMPUS AVENUE FAMILY PRACTICE 90 Campus Avenue, Lewiston
COURT STREET FAMILY PRACTICE 871 Court Street, Auburn
L-A INTERNAL MEDICINE 3 Willow Run, Auburn
LEWISTON MEDICAL ASSOCIATES 106 Campus Avenue, Lewiston
LISBON FALLS FAMILY HEALTH CENTER 583 Lisbon Road, Lisbon
POLAND FAMILY PRACTICE 1230 Maine Street, Poland
“That’s our promise.” DEBORAH LEARSON, MD ELISE WILEY, FNP Court Street Family Practice
PRACTICES OF KAPPLEMANN, MILLER & MORRISSETTE Lewiston
SABATTUS STREET INTERNAL MEDICINE 963 Sabattus Street, Lewiston
SECOND STREET FAMILY PRACTICE 60 Second Street, Auburn
ST. MARY’S MEDICAL ASSOCIATES
OUR FACILITIES AND SERVICES ARE AVAILABLE TO EVERYONE.
99 Campus Avenue, Lewiston
WOMEN’S HEALTH ASSOCIATES 330 Sabattus Street, Lewiston
Kissing Me Softly Submitted by Jimbo
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the womanʼs face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldnʼt graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the womanʼs new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty! One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, “Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you.” “My darling,” he replied, “I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.” Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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& Jimbo
JUNE 2010
783-7039
Uncle Andyʼs thoughts on investing: I put all my money into taxes; that's the only thing that's sure to go up.
Does your child suffer from low self esteem? We can help! Our team of expert instructors will help your child develop a “can-do” attitude! Our classes are fun and exciting – kids learn leadership skills that are useful at home, in sports and school. Make summertime, fun time and send your child back to school with confidence.
FREE Intro to Karate for Kids Wed. June 23rd 4:30pm - 5:15pm and 5:30pm - 6:15pm
FREE CLASS - GAMES & PRIZES
Karate & Self Defense for Adults & Kids Lil Ninjas: 3 - 6 years old (Call now for more information)
MEMBER: NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF PROFESSIONAL MARTIAL ARTISTS
Pelletier’s Karate Academy I-35 Taylor Hill Road • Lewiston (1-1/2 miles past Marden’s) Email: pelledojo@aol.com • www.pelletierskarate.com
786-3731
Most of us spend our lives as if we have another one in the bank. – Ben Irwin
The only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed.
MODERN WOODMEN OF AMERICA June 2010 Wednesday, June 9 Pop Shoppe Diner. Lunch (Camp 8609). 413 Main St, Lewiston 11:00am – 1:00pm $4.50 per Member, $5.50 per Guest Sunday, June 13. Kiwanis Pancake Breakfast (Camp 12907) Festival Plaza Downtown Auburn. 7am – 11:00am $3.00 per Member, $4.00 per Guest Tuesday, June 15 Taber’s (Camp 14437) Lakeshore Drive, Auburn. 4pm – 7pm $4.00 per Member, $5.00 per Guest Wednesday, June 23 Val’s Rootbeer (Camp 14346) Sabattus St. Lewiston. 4pm – 7pm $3 per Member, $4 per Guest Wednesday, June 23 Dairy Frost (Camp 7938) 107 Bath Road, Brunswick 4pm – 6pm One non-perishable item for Food Pantry Aquaboggan To be announced Combo Fun/Splash $24 per member, $25 per guest Funtown $17 per member, $18 per guest Splashtown $17 per member, $18 per guest WaterCountry $26 per member, $28 per guest York Animal Kingdom $10 per member / $11 per guest TICKETS ARE LIMITED – NO RETURNS & NO REFUNDS ALLOWED Dates and Prices are subject to change Tickets need to be purchased at the Modern Woodmen District Office, 184 Webster Street, Lewiston for all activities and can only be picked up the week prior to the activity, Mon - Thurs from 9:00am - 4:00pm (excluding Holidays). FMI call 782-1833.
Auburn Office Activities Monday, June 21, 4-7pm Val’s Root Beer Drive-In, 925 Sabattus Street, Lewiston $3.50 per person. Selected Menu includes beverage/tax/gratuity Wednesday, June 23, 4-7pm Roy’s Allsteak Hamburger & Golf Ctr 2514 Turner Road, Auburn. $4.50 per person. Includes Mini Golf or Bucket of Balls. Cheese Dog, Hot Dog, Hamburger or Cheeseburger with Small Fry & Small Soda Saturday, June 26, 11am-2pm Chicken Bar-B-Q. American Legion Post 150, 49 Elm Street, Mechanic Falls. $2.50 off each person’s meal Tickets must be picked up @ MWA 67 Minot Ave., Auburn, or you may call Mon-Thur, 9:00am to 5:00pm; at 207-783-8804 or 1-800-561-8506
"Failure is nature's plan to prepare you for great responsibilities." – Napoleon Hill
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Uncle Andy’s Digest
To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness. – Bertrand Russell
MAILING ADDRESS:
PO Box 3363 Auburn, ME 04212 E-MAIL:
editor@UncleAndys.com
Quality Customized Denture Work FREE CONSULTATIONS
PHONE: 207 FAX: 207
783-7039 777-3898
Poorly fitting or broken dentures repaired on-site, usually same-day service!
www.UncleAndys.com
JUNE 2010
Staff UNCLE ANDY Back-up Vocals
Affordable Dentures • Flexible Payment Plans • Credit/Debit Cards Most Dental Insurances Accepted
Smile Again Dentures
JIMBO
801 Webster Street, Lewiston
Leader of the Band
514-0660
Travis Dow Lead Guitar
Maggie Joyce
www.smileagaindentures.com smileagaindentures@gmail.com
Joe & Mike Adkins
Band Agent
Marty Dow Rock Star
Michele Farrar On Drums
"Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh." – W. H. Auden
Rolly’s Diner Just good cookin’ and plenty of it!
Uncle Andy’s Digest
Breakfast & Lunch Specials Daily
is published by the first Friday of every month by Maine Mountain Ocean Group, Inc. with offices at 9 Grove Street, Auburn, ME. It is distributed free throughout Central Maine and mailed to subscribers all over the world. Subscriptions are $30/year. Send a $30 check made out to Uncle Andy’s Digest to: P.O. Box 3363, Auburn, ME 04212
Uncle Andy’s Digest is not responsible for typographical errors that may occur in advertisements. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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& Jimbo
JUNE 2010
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• Unusual Omelettes • Crepes • Breakfast All Day • Extensive Menu Stop by Rolly’s and we’ll whip you up something delicious to eat.
Breakfast all day and lunch too...
...our omlettes & crepes are sure to please you!
Justin, Ken (owner) & Marcus cooks at Rolly’s Diner
87 Mill St. New Auburn, ME (207) 753-0171 (for take-out) Mon – Sat 5 am – 2 pm Sunday 7 am – noon
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationary.
Save time . . . see it my way.
The 3 T’s of Wedding Preparation
Tanning Tootsie’s Expires 6/30/10 • Limit one
Teeth Whiten Teeth while you tan! UV activated.
Expires 6/30/10 • Limit one
Ask about our wedding party discounts! For Those Who Like it HOT!
Hot Stuff Tanning Salon & Wellness Center 545 Minot Avenue, Auburn
784-8900 “Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace and your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of it.”
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
JUNE 2010
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HEALTH & FITNESS GUIDE AUBURN-LEWISTON
Where You Belong!
United Way of Androscoggin County
YMCA Camp Connor Registration Now Open Camp Connor: Kids entering grades 1-8 Accepting TOPS summer camp scholarships
9 Sessions from June 21st - August 20th Sign up for as many sessions as you’d like
Team Leadership Camp Teens entering 9th & 10th grades Limited to 14 teen leaders per session
Summer Swim Lessons Ages 6 mo.-Adult Member Priority Registration begins June 14th Open Registration begins June 21st Summer Session starts the week of July 5th
Lifeguard Certification Courses June 3, 4 & 7-9 • June 23-26 July 10, 17, 24 & 31 Call FMI
Twin Cities Swim Team
Competing through July Jump onto the team anytime!
Family Swim • Adult Lap Swim • Splash Parties • Water Aerobics 62 Turner Street (next to the county building) Auburn • 795-4095
www.alymca.org
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. – Dale Carnegie
LUONG RECEIVES CERTIFICATION
Bruce Luong Community Credit Union is pleased to announce that Bruce Luong has received his certificate as a CUNA Certified Financial Counselor. In receiving this Certification, Luong has completed a comprehensive training program designed to provide financial counseling skills that will allow him to better assist individuals in achieving their financial goals. This comprehensive program is broken down into 8 modules and covers topics including communication skills, controlling living expenses, understanding consumer credit, matching values to money, retirement, taxes, insurance, investments and more. Luong is a Loan Officer with Community Credit Union and has been employed there for the last 3years. Luong is an active member of the Auburn Baptist Church and resides in Lewiston with his wife Rachel and son Jonah. Community Credit Union is a member-owned, full service financial institution that has been serving its members and Androscoggin County since 1945. Community Credit Union has branches located at 144 Pine Street, Lewiston and 40 Stanley Street, Auburn. FMI, log onto www.communitycreditunion.com
Uncle Andy says inquiring minds want to know... Q: What is a nitrate? A: Much cheaper than a day rate.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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High Stakes Submitted by Jimbo
A man walks into a butcherʼs shop and inquires of the butcher: “Are you a gambling man?”
"Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands." – Anne Frank
YOUR SOURCE FOR GREAT CUTS, COLORS, STYLES & NAILS!
The butcher says, “Yes.” So the man said: “I bet you fifty bucks that you canʼt reach up and touch that meat hanging on the hooks up there.” The butcher says “Iʼm not betting on that.” “But I thought you were a gambling man,” the man retorts. “Yes I am,” says the butcher, “but the steaks are too high.” Serving as a Marine recruiter in western North Carolina, I found a young man who met all the requirements and was ready to enlist. I explained the importance of being truthful on the application, and he began filling out his paper work. But when he got to the question "Do you own any foreign property or have any foreign financial interests?" he looked up at me with a worried expression. "Well," he confessed, "I do own a Toyota." We enlisted him the next day. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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& Jimbo
JUNE 2010
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782-5920 www.MadisonAveSalon.net
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
Ma Bell In the first phone company, the four operators had to remember the names of about 200 customers. When John Smith wanted to call Tom Hardin, for instance, the operator knew which plug to put in which hole. When two of
the four operators became sick with the measles, the doctor, who was also a part owner of the phone company, suggested numbering the customers so that temporary operators who didn't know all the customers by name, could work the system. This is how phone numbers came to be.
EXPAND YOUR HORIZONS Vacation packages are more affordable than you might think! IT’S TIME. KICK BACK. RELAX.
Visit us at the Androscoggin Business to Business Trade Show at Booth 324 June 10th at the Androscoggin Bank Colisee
Go to some really cool places!
www.dragonflytrips.com 888-222-6846
~~~~~ We can answer all of your vacation questions and start you on a journey to a really cool place!
I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
HEALTH & FITNESS GUIDE
Under NEW Ownership
Out & About at Andy’s Baked Beans While Bev was away, the rest played at Bev’s Vacation Party
Taylor Brook Animal Hospital 33 Millett Drive • Auburn Catherine Sanders, D.V.M.
between Minot Ave. & Court St.
784-1726
Hours: Mon., Wed., Fri. 8-5; Tues. & Thurs. 7:30-6; Sat 8-noon
Affordable! Really! Three meals a day Plus snacks Weekly housekeeping - 24 hour call buttons Transportation to doctors appointments & shopping
Remo Lefebvre
Openings Available Now! Call for a tour today!!
All for $1,300 per month!
#433 Rt. 202, PO Box 629, Greene
946-3007 “Maine’s Most Affordable Senior Living Center”
www.mainemeadows.com
Rosey Gravel
Ed Ford Photos submitted by Steve Martelli There is great need for a sarcasm font.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
JUNE 2010
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Out & About at Andy’s Baked Beans
Was learning cursive really necessary?
While Bev was away, the rest played at Bev’s Vacation Party
6/27/10
ver erco Und gent A
Vance, undercover agent & Jodie
I’m a newbie!
Kitchen Tips Martha Stewartʼs way: If you have a problem opening jars: Try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Me, too!!
And us three, too!!!
Auburn Mall Eye Care Bring in this ad for...
5 OFF
$
Contact Lenses
(excludes exams) 1 coupon per person Expires 6/30/10
DR. MICHAEL METAYER, O.D.
Christine & Rick Bretton Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
10
& Jimbo
JUNE 2010
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Uncle Andyʼs way: Go ask the very cute neighbor to do it.
550 Center Street, Auburn (207) 782-5030
How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
AUTOMOTIVE GUIDE
The Sign I was browsing in a souvenir shop when the man next to me struck up a conversation. Just as he was telling me that his wife was getting carried away with her shopping, a brief power shortage caused the lights to flicker overhead. "Ah," he sighed that must be her checking out now."
Changing Course
PARTS • SALES • SERVICE WE FEATURE: • Service For All Makes • Parts For All Makes • Sales of New International Trucks • Sales Of Used Trucks Of All Makes
Summer vacation was almost about to start and the teacher asked little Sammy about a family trip she vaguely knew he would be going on. "We are going to visit my grandmother in Minneapolis, Minnesota." The teacher asked, "Good, can you tell the class how you spell that?" Sammy said, "Actually, we are going to Ohio."
Morrison & Sylvester 1175 Minot Ave. Auburn, ME 04210 783-8548 • www.morrisontruck.net
"We cannot live for ourselves alone. Our lives are connected by a thousand invisible threads, and along these sympathetic fibers, our actions run as causes and return to us as results." – Herman Melville
Bad decisions make good stories.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
www.emerso
The Back Forty
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
12
& Jimbo
JUNE 2010
783-7039
Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
ontoyota.com
y June Specials
"Every job is a self-portrait of the person who did it. Autograph your work with excellence." – Jessica Guidobono
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
JUNE 2010
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& BBQ Saturday, June 26th
11am - 2pm
250 Broad Street in New Auburn
For all of our loyal customers and our new customers FREE Hot Dogs, Hamburgers & Cheeseburgers
GIVEAWAYS!
Take a tour of our new facility & meet the guys!
Rick
Ron
Jeremy
Joshua
Owner
Advanced Master Tech
Technician
Technician
NEW MAJOR AUTOMOTIVE 250 Broad Street in New Auburn • 783-4933 • www.majorauto.net
I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
Top 6 reasons to choose Mike Morin’s • Expert service & highest quality • Accurate diagnosis of problems • Fair & honest quotes • Great customer service
Out & About at Holly’s Own 3rd anniversary party Read my lips... the next picture you’ll see there will be a beautiful blonde next to me.
Summers here! It’s time to start thinking about a complete A/C performance check!
• Full service garage, no problem too big or too small • Best of the best 10 years running for automotive service
Paul Deschenes
FOR SALE AT MIKE MORIN’S 2006 Harley-Davidson Ultra Classic $
2003 GMC Sonoma $
4,800
18,500
Can I call ‘em or can I call ‘em?! Cobalt blue & silver, air ride seat, GPS, AM/FM stereo, extra chrome, 2 windshields
4x2, Low miles, Standard, one owner
Complimentary Coffee & Donuts while you wait • FREE Shuttle Service In L/A
Mike Morin’s Auto Center 1122 Center St., Auburn • 753-0433 Photos submitted by Dee Chapman
“A proud member of the Napa Auto Care Team.”
VW & AUDI SERVICE Mention this ad for Lifetime Warranty • Free Estimates Free Pickup and Delivery
10% OFF your next service
459 Washington Street in Auburn • 878-9088 • www.rennen.us
The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose. – Hadia Bejar
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out & About at Holly’s Own 3rd anniversary party with live music by Five Face North
"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.
CAMERON TIRE & SERVICE, INC. FAMILY OWNED & OPERATED FOR 26 YEARS • Wheel alignment & balancing • Complete brake work • Engine tune-up • Lube-oil-filter • State Inspections • Exhaust systems
OUR TIRES
We tried to explain it to Uncle Andy that we’re FIVE FACE NORTH.
Rod & Beth Cameron, owners A PROUD MEMBER OF THE NAPA AUTO CARE TEAM
60 Minot Ave • Auburn, ME 04210
782-6666 or 783-2026
I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of any importance the entire day. What a waste.
‘04 BMW 525i 88K $
16,995
‘98 Chevy Corvette LS1 Removable glass top, 60K
$
16,995
Other Inventory
06 Suzuki Forenza . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$5,495 05 Saab 95 Aero, Navigation, Satellite Radio, Loaded . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$9,995 04 Chevy Tracker ZR2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$5,995 03 Saab 95 Aero . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$7,495 02 Hyundai Accent . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$2,995 02 Saab 95 Turbo, Loaded 5-Speed, Leather . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$4,495 01 Saab 95 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$3,995 01 Jeep Wrangler, Hard Top, Bikini Top . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$8,995 01 Saturn Wagon . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$3,495 01 Audi A6 Wagon . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$5,995 00 BMW 328ci, 5-Speed, Many Aftermarket Upgrades, Black/Red . . .$8,495 99 Acura SLX, SUV, 4x4, 79k . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$5,995 99 Audi A4 Quattro, Auto, 6 Cyl., Leather . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$4,995 98 Audi A4, 5-Speed, Leather, Roof, 6 Cyl. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$3,995 98 Audi A4, Loaded . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$4,295 97 Audi A4 Quattro Wagon, Auto . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$2,995 85 Mazda RX-7, 60k Original Miles . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$4,995
04 Kia Sedona, 99k, minivan . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$Call 04 Suzuki XL7, 89k . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$Call 02 Volvo S60, AWD, Black . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$Call 00 Jeep Cherokee Sport . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$Call 99 Chevy Cavalier, 51k . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$Call 20” Universal 5-Lug Chrome Rims . . . . . . . . . . . .$800 New Wheel & Tire Packages . . . . . . . . . .Call for pricing
INDEPENDENTAuto Scott McFarren & Tim Bellmore
1298 Sabattus St. Lewiston
Tim Bellmore
786-7744
I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
AUTOMOTIVE GUIDE A/C RECHARGE SPECIAL
$
95
99
10 Signs Your Vet Bill Is Going To Require Financing 10) The doc's thermometer registers in Fahrenheit, Celsius and dollars. 9) The bill came with payment coupons.
$15,000
$10,900
2002 Audi TT Convertible
2006 Scion TC
AWD, Turbo w/240HP, 6-Speed, CD Player, Leather, ONLY 47k
Auto, Leather, 65k, Premium Audio, ABS, Premium Wheels
8) Your Doberman just ate the receptionist. 7) "He has a very rare blood type. It's called '$$ Positive.'" 6) He starts talking about extended quality of life, miracles of modern veterinary medicine and joint replacement procedures. You own a goldfish.
$8,900
$16,500
2007 Ford Focus SES
2007 Audi A4 Quattro
Auto, Keyless Entry, CD, Power Roof & Windows, 35MPG
Turbo, AWD, Auto, Leather, Fog Lights, Bose Audio, Cd, Moonroof
5) They take away the blood sample on a sterling silver serving tray. 4) The sad, pathetic whining in the exam room is coming from the owners.
$12,500
$11,900
2005 Audi A4 Quattro
2003 Mercedes C240
Turbo, AWD, Leather, Auto, 98k, Keyless Entry, Premium Wheels
Auto, 6 cyl., Leather, Loaded, Premium Audio, Keyless Entry, Tinted Glass
Full Service Auto Repair & Reconditioning Available 733 Sabattus Street, Lewiston
777-0047 • www.laautocompany.com I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
3) You suddenly realize where you've heard that low whistle before: from the plumber and the auto mechanic. 2) "Do you have any idea how expensive hamster defibrillators are?" And the #1 sign your veterinary bill is going to require financing: "We can rebuild him. Make him stronger, faster...." Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
JUNE 2010
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Out & About at Holly’s Own 3rd anniversary party Thank you everyone who has supported me over the past 3 years. I couldn’t have done it without you!
AUTOMOTIVE GUIDE IT’S MUD SEASON! MORE TO GO ON The New 2010 Arctic Cat ATV’s are in! Check out our Arctic Cat riding apparel & accessories, too!
AMES SPORTS SHOP
Set your sights on Ames Sports Shop! 84 Littlefield Road • Auburn • 782-4917 (off Hotel Road & across from Merrow Road)
Holly Mireault owner of Holly’s Own Deli & Restaurant
The Lone Ranger The famous radio western ran for 2,956 episodes and came to an end in 1955. It was Brace Beemer who is best remembered as former Texas Ranger, John Reid. He played the part of the black-masked ranger, fighting for frontier justice, for 13 consecutive years. Hi ho, Silver, away!
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
18
& Jimbo
JUNE 2010
783-7039
I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
AUTOMOTIVE GUIDE
M & P AUTO SALES
$
4,500
1999 F350 Ambulance 7.3 Diesel, 230K, runs like new, everything works
$
9,950
2007 Pontiac Grand Prix 62K, Silver, Sharp Car, Aluminum Wheels, PW, PL, AC, FWD
$
2,995
1995 GMC 1500
www.MandPautosales.com
Roosevelt Trail, North Windham • Call Scott Rioux at 892-0932 or 754-4867
2WD, V8, 5-Speed, Step-side, Ext. cab, 170K, Runs great 2003 Chevy Silverado, Black, Ext. Cab, 4.8 Auto. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$10,800 2002 Ford F350 Superduty, 109k, Auto, 8 ft. minute mount plow . . . .$12,000 2001 Ford F250 Superduty, ext. cab, 98k, 8’ Minute Mount Plow . . . .$10,000
$
8,995
2000 Chevy 3500 Dumpbody 4WD, 78K, V8 Auto
$
6,500
1994 Chevy 2500 Reg. Cab, Ready to Work, 103K, White
$
14,995
2006 Ford F250 Superduty 4WD, Xcab, 92k, FX4 Off-road Package, V8, Auto, Aluminum Wheels
Roosevelt Trail • North Windham
892-0932 or 754-4867
Even when opportunity knocks, you still have to get up off your seat and open the door.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
JUNE 2010
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Sea Counselling Submitted by Jimbo
One afternoon The Sea rolled into the office of Dr. Alfred Werner, clinical psychologist.
AUTOMOTIVE GUIDE
Classic Car Rebuilds, Restorations & Service • Brake Service • Custom Exhaust • Shocks & Struts • Used Car Sales • Tires • Tune-ups • Rust Repair & Body Work • Engine Overhauls • Transmission Overhauls • Custom Paint • Motorcycle Tanks & Fenders • Restorations & Rebuilds
The doctor smiled; he hadn't seen his old friend in ages. "Well, well! Long time no sea! How are you doing?" "Swell," replied the Sea saltily. "Then what, Pacifically, is the problem?" "Well," the Sea swished sadly, "I'm getting tired of just going in and out every day, in and out, in and out, in and--" "I understand," Dr. Werner interrupted hastily, "but I fear there's nothing to be done about it. For you see, my friend, you're just fit to be tide." The largest snowflakes ever measured occurred in Fort Keogh, Montana, in 1887. Flakes as large as 15 inches wide were reported! The man who started the California gold rush, James Marshall, after a first small strike, was able to find no other gold for himself, and died a penniless alcoholic. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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& Jimbo
JUNE 2010
783-7039
Bring your classic car to...
THE SHOP
304 Lisbon Road • Lisbon
353-6100
How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
Heidi at our Auburn Branch
Michele at our Lewiston Branch
Special Financing
3.99% apr* on all our Auto & Recreational loans in June! Stop by one of our 2 convenient locations and speak with one of our highly qualified loan officers today for fast approval.
Restrictions & Eligibility apply. *annual percentage rate. Limited time only.
Great Falls Federal Credit Union
34 Bates Street, Lewiston 782-7192 760 Minot Avenue, Auburn 753-0500 www.greatfallsfcu.com
Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
AUTOMOTIVE GUIDE
Together Let’s Think Green for Summer! “Why buy new, when used will do... And save some GREEN, too!” We recycle 99% of all our products. Help recycle by buying our recycled parts and help do your part for the planet.
Many quality used vehicles to choose from.
We specialize in new/used auto & truck parts. Offering almost any part for any year, make or model. Foreign or Domestic, Auto or Truck.
LE
C CY RE
RE DU CE
with live music by Five Face North I feel like I’m facing sort of Northwest actually...
Did you know... We’ve been serving our community for over 72 years. Since 1938 we have recycled well over 100,000 cars and trucks, thus helping the environment and it would be nice to have a week off!
RE-USE
Rob Thibault One coupon per customer
Out & About at Holly’s Own 3rd anniversary party
Remember, we serviced your grandparents, your parents, and now we are servicing you!
20
% OFF
In-stock auto & truck parts
Don’s DBA...
WE ACCEPT ALL USED MOTOR OIL - NO CHARGE
MORRIS AUTO PARTS 940 Washington St. North • 784-7374 or 800-730-7374 • Mon. - Fri. 8 - 5 • Sat. 8 - 12 Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
JUNE 2010
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AUTOMOTIVE GUIDE SAM’S BODY SHOP Custom Trailer Hitches Sold & Installed Trailer Repairs 886 Main St. Lewiston • 784-0015 • Open Mon. Wed. Fri. 8:00-4:00
Any Make, Any Model Any Problem…
NO PROBLEM!
$
55/hr. LABOR RATE Fully Warranteed & Certified
Brad Johnson
Brad’s Precision Auto 333-0364 144 Riverside Dr., Auburn
I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
FULL SERVICE HARLEY MOTORCYCLE SHOP We work on all American-made motorcycles MOTORCYCLE INSPECTION STATION 140 Riverside Drive Auburn, Maine 04210
782-9400
ATTENTION BUSINESS OWNERS, PROPERTY MANAGERS & LANDLORDS Affordable commercial Master Electrician for all your electrical needs Licensed & Insured
Tire Mounting & Balancing Brakes Serviced
“Our prices wonʼt SHOCK you”
CUSTOM & OEM V-ROD PARTS
SLC Electrical
info@v-shop.us
(207) 577-3615
www.v-shop.us
slc2007@roadrunner.com
KEEP COOL! GET YOUR A/C RECHARGED NOW!
BEFORE
Need Body Repairs?
AFTER
BUCKLE UP!
CALL US
For your free estimate! 2085 Lisbon Road, Lewiston • www.ChapmanCollision.com Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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& Jimbo
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I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
10% OFF
Out & About at Holly’s Own 3rd anniversary party Photos submitted by Dee Chapman
with this ad
Complete Auto & Truck Repair • Front End Alignments • Engine Diagnostics • Custom Exhaust • Tires, Batteries
• Transmission Flush • State Inspections • Complete Front End Work • Tune-ups
Ron Moon, Manager
35 Lewiston Rd. • Gray, ME 04039
207-657-5000
ow doing N • Boat Seats and Interiors
Check! us out
• Motorcycle Seats • Convertible Tops
CUSTOM UPHOLSTERY
For all your upholstery needs FREE ESTIMATES 28 Riverside Drive, Auburn • 782-3822
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." – Dalai Lama
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
JUNE 2010
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Contractually Speaking California belongs to Great Britain. In 1579 Sir Francis Drake landed near Laguna Beach and met with the Indians who lived there. They thought he was a god and gave him all their land. He made a brass plaque decreeing California as property of the Queen. In 1933 a man found the plaque in the sand and took it home as a piece of scrap metal. Four years later, still having no idea that the plate with the faint old English lettering was anything of value, he junked it on the beach north of San Francisco. Then another man found it and took it to his home for possible car repair material. Fortunately, he had experts examine the lettering and discovered he had England's deed to California.
It takes a real storm in the average person's life to make him realize how much worrying he has done over the squalls. – Unknown
05 Saab 9-3 Aero
07 Chevrolet Impala
01 Volvo XC70
only
only
only
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$14,595
$10,995
Convertible, Loaded, 56K
Power windows/locks -29K
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09 Starcraft Autumn Ridge 07 Chevrolet 1500 4X4 02 Ford F150 Crew Cab
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26’ Slide-out Camper, Like New
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King Ranch 4X4, Loaded
07 Jeep Grand Cherokee 03 Toyota Tacoma 4X4
07 Chevy Tahoe
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All Even Day The first All Even day in over 1,000 years occurred on February 2, 2000 (where all the digits are even numbers). This was the first All Even day in more than a thousand years! The last All Even day was on August 28, 888. Magnet, TX was named in the hope that its appellation would “attract” people. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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Jeff Gaudette
Kevin Bishop
Tom Bell
Mr. Easy
Dennis LaCombe
Derek Albert
Joe Brickel
Zach Hobbs
1606 Main Street, Oxford CHEVROLET BUICK PONTIAC
743-8944 or 800-734-7034
Goodwinmotorgroup.com "Some people grumble because roses have thorns; I am thankful that the thorns have roses." – Alphonse Karr
Fatherʼs Day Facts
"Scissors are overpowered. Rock is fine." – Paper
QUICKIE Exterior Wash & Dry Extras: Tire Shine $1.00 Wheel Brighten $1.00 Under Body Wash $1.50
We do Dualies, Denali’s & Motorcycles, too!
$11 add $1.50 for SUV’s and Vans
COMPLETE IN & OUT Exterior Wash & Dry • Interior Vacuum Clean Windows • Interior Wipe Down Under Body Wash • Tire Shine
865 Sabattus Street, Lewiston
333-3004
Steve Dubois: Owner
Sonora Louise Smart Dodd, of Spokane, Washington, started the tradition of Father's Day in the honor of her dad.
$25
add $5.00 for SUV’s and Vans •add $7.50 for pet hair removal
liquidsunshinecarwash.com
You can now get your and read it online!
In 1966 President Lyndon Johnson signed a presidential proclamation declaring the 3rd Sunday of June as Father's Day.
Read all the stories, all the one-liners, see all the pictures & see all of our advertisers!
Go to www.UncleAndys.com and click on “Digital Edition”
11,300
84K
$
2004 Jeep Wrangler $
8,700
NICE!
$
7,800
10,400
2000 Jeep Wrangler $
10,900
110K
In 1916, US President Woodrow Wilson approved the idea of observing an annual Father's Day. In 1924, President Calvin Coolidge made Father's Day a national event.
UNCLE ANDY’S DIGEST
$
First local Father's Day was celebrated on June 19, 1910, in Spokane, Washington.
66K
2005 Volkswagen Jetta $
12,500
Father's Day is the fifth most popular cardsending holiday, with an estimated $100 million in card sales. Husbands, grandfathers, uncles, sons and sonsin-law are honored as well as father.
207-345-3777 32 Lewiston Street - Mechanic Falls
Evidently the Pilgrims had a unique gadget that was used in church to keep members of the congregation awake. It was a wooden ball on a string. It was used to bop people on the head who were drifting off during the sevenhour-long sermons.
Never miss a chance to keep your mouth shut. – Robert Newton Peck
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis
2006 Dodge Dakota 4X4 2004 Toyota Camry 2003 Dodge Ram Pickup 2002 Ford F150 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$10,500 Quality Pre-Owned Cars - Trucks - SUV’s 2007 Toyota Corolla 8600k . . . . . . . . .$10,500 2006 Saturn Ion 60K Low Low Miles . . .$7,400 www.oldmillauto.com
Old Mill Auto
&T Jimbo
JUNE 2010
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Out & About at Andy’s Baked Beans While Bev was away, the rest played at Bev’s Vacation Party
AUTOMOTIVE GUIDE EXPERIENCED QUALITY SERVICE QUALITY REPAIRS SINCE 1979 CARS • LT. TRUCKS • SUVs – We service them all We perform manufacturer’s vehicle maintenance and scheduled services • Transmission Flushes
• Chassis, alignment
• Fuel systems
• Shocks, struts
• Engine performance
• And more!
• Brakes, exhaust
• State Inspection
Maineʼs AAA Approved Repair Facility since 1990!
HORSEPOWER AUTOCARE, INC. 44 Roosevelt Trail, Rt. 302 • Windham • 892-9420 • 1-800-339-9420 Monday - Friday 8am-5pm • www.horsepowerautocare.com
Bob & Bonnie Merrill, owners
Sue Fournier 600 Center Street Shaw’s Plaza, Auburn
786-0112 Congrats!
Matt Fournier
Vicky Poto was this years raffle winner of the Mother's Day basket given away at Gregory's
Back L to R: Cheryl, Nuria, Tina, Pat, Terry & Kelly. Middle: Amy & Michael. Front: Linda, Cory & Kathy Mon - Fri 9 am - 7 pm • Sat 9 am - 3 pm
www.gregoryshairstyles.com
• Custom-made Systems • In-dash DVD & Navigation • Subwoofers & Speakers • CD & MP3 Players • Alarms & Remote Starters
Dee Chapman The bones of a pigeon weigh less than its feathers.
www.soundeffectsmaine.com
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
The Promised Land always lies on the other side of a Wilderness. – Havelock Ellis
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625 Washington Street, Auburn (207) 777-3339
Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear. – Ambrose Redmoon
!
IAL JUNE SPEC
2003 Audi
AUTO BODY & SALES COLLISION REPAIR & PAINTING
A6 Quattro. Automatic, Leather, Loaded, Sun Roof. Nice. 68K
$12,900 1111 Center Street Auburn
AUTO BODY & SALES
Cell: 754-0310 Tel: 782-6515
COLLISION REPAIR & PAINTING Murphy's Laws of Law Enforcement: The Mayor will get a traffic ticket the day before your department negotiates for a salary increase.
Give your father the gift he deserves! Send your special man alone or join him for all services side by side.
Dietary Supplements Submitted by Jimbo
A husband took his young daughter to the grocery store to help him buy groceries. In addition to the healthy items on his wife's carefully prepared list, the two of them returned home with a package of sugar-filled cookies. "Why in the world did you buy those?" his wife asked. "You know they aren't good for you!" "Oh, but don't worry, honey, these cookies have one-third less calories than usual in them," the husband replied. The wife looked all over the package but couldn't find any claim to that fact, so she asked, "What makes you think that?" "We ate about a third of the box on the way home."
Gift Cards Available
Full Body Massage Hot Stone Massage Herbal (detox) Body Wrap Gentleman’s Facial Gentleman’s Pedicure
"Seek out that particular mental attribute which makes you feel most deeply and vitally alive, along with which comes the inner voice which says, 'This is the real me,' and when you have found that attitude, follow it."
www.cassiels.com
-- James Truslow Adams
Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. – John Wooden
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out & About at Andy’s Baked Beans
“Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.”
Hi Mom!
Curtis Small, Paul Belanger & Shane Pare
ver erco Und gent A
Jodie, undercover agent & Mary Ramich
Dennis & Christine Photos submitted by Steve Martelli Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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To view the complete inventory of 50 vehicles, visit our website
www.donovansauto.com 946-7515 • 1-800-811-8856
The world was made round so that we would never be able to see too far down the road. – Isak Dinesen
Out & About at Andy’s Baked Beans
"If we do not change our direction, we are likely to end up where we are headed." – Chinese Proverb
TURNING MEMORIES INTO WORKS OF ART Most offers come with a hook. This is ours.
While Bev was away, the rest played at Bev’s Vacation Party
Along with the best selection of frames and mats for prints, pictures or keepsakes. Expert Custom Framing Quality Personal Service at affordable prices!
23 Cross Street, Auburn • 786-4333
For prints, pictures, needlework, diplomas, sports memorabilia and more!
Tucker & Kristen at the prom
The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs... one step at a time. – Joe Girard
Stacy Lowell
How can you save money without sacrificing quality? Tues-Fri 8:00-5:00 Sat 8:00-12:00 Factory Trained & Certified. PHD trained. We Can Build Your Motor Mild To Wild! All Work is Done By Us! BEAD BLASTING, BOTTOM ENDS, CYLINDER BORING & HONING
Since 1992
Zippers, Drag, S&S, Custom Chrome, Bikers Choice, Midwest Rivera, Vance & Hines, V-Twin, Renegade, Performance Machine, Tec Distributors... PAINT WORK AND CUSTOM BUILT BIKES PERFORMANCE IS IN OUR NAME!
By calling Wyman’s Collision today! From dings & dents to complete overhauls and custom paint jobs. Dan Wyman, Owner
See us for a FREE ESTIMATE and $AVE!
Phone: 333-3231
Specializing in Parts & Service for Harley Davidson
1164 Minot Ave. (behind Dealer Worx)
592 Sabattus St. • Sabattus, ME • 375-6525
Think like a man of action, and act like a man of thought. – Henri L. Bergson
THE CUMMINGS AGENCY, INC. INSURANCE (207) 345-8711 • 1-800-339-0414
The Eiffel Tower is 984 feet high.
Kitchen Tips
CHECK OUT www.secondchanceboxer.com
Martha Stewartʼs way: To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room temperature and roll them under your palm against the kitchen counter before squeezing. Uncle Andyʼs way: Sleep with the lemons in between the mattress and box springs.
Q. Why did the tomato turn red? A. It saw the salad dressing!
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis
9 South Main Street Mechanic Falls, ME •
Jeffrey R. Cummings • Nora W. Cummings
Porter
AUTOS • HOMEOWNERS MOTORCYCLES • BUSINESS Nessie
Boo
Dog gonnit… We want your business!
&T Jimbo
JUNE 2010
783-7039 29
Having A Ball
"I see," said the blind man, peeing into the wind. "It's all coming back to me now."
Submitted by Jimbo
Morris had been playing golf for years. He always used the very finest equipment, but his technique never improved a bit. His friend Sam watched as he teed up at the first hole and promptly drove a brand new ball into the woods. On the second hole, Morris drove another new ball into a lake. On the third, he lost a new ball in another part of the woods.
Your one stop for all your auto sales & service needs Was $29,995
$12,995
NOW $27,995
2007 Chevy Avalanche LT
2006 Nissan Murano SE
2006 Ford F150
4x4, One owner, 33k.
AWD Touring Edition. Heated leather seats, sunroof & navigation. 63K
Extended Cab, 4x4. 123K
$14,995
$10,495
Starting at
$9,495
JEEPS!
"Why don't you use an old ball?" Sam asked. "I've never had an old ball," Morris said.
$14,995
2002 Dodge Ram Quad Cab 1500 SLT
2004 Dodge Ram Quad Cab 1500 SLT
4x4, 100K
4x4, Only 68K!
4 Wranglers to Choose From! We have automatics and 5-speeds. We have soft tops and hard tops!
The Statue of Liberty weighs 225 tons.
Eye See A speeding motorist was caught by radar from a police helicopter in the sky. An officer pulled him over and began to issue a traffic ticket. "How did you know I was speeding?" the frustrated driver asked. The police officer pointed somberly toward the sky. "You mean," asked the motorist, "that even He is against me?" Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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200 Auburn Road in Turner • 225-2694 • 4 miles north of Auto Mile
www.kryauto.com Honk if you love Jesus... text while driving if you’d like to meet him!
Kitchen Tips Martha Stewartʼs way: Potatoes will take food stains off your fingers. Just slice and rub raw potato on the stains and rinse with water. Uncle Andyʼs way: Mashed potatoes will now be replacing the antibacterial soap in the handy dispenser next to my sink.
The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for. – Maureen Dowd
THURSDAYS Line Dancing Lessons 6pm Karaoke 8pm Beer Pong Sign-ups 9pm
Action-packed Thursdays with DJ B-Set at 9:30pm
FRIDAYS
SATURDAYS
LADIES Night DJ & your favorites in Tribute Bands, Drink Specials Comedy Acts & More! DJ & Live Local Entertainment
Every Friday night!
ENTERTAINMENT LINE-UP FRI. JUNE 4TH
DEAD SEASON SAT. JUNE 5TH
WOLF CREEK & THE MECHANICAL BULL FRI. JUNE 11TH
EYEBROW ENTERTAINMENT SHOW SAT. JUNE 12TH
CARNIVAL OF CHAOS FRI. JUNE 18TH
UNCLE ANDY’S DIGEST OUTDOOR PARTY & BBQ BBQ 6-9, PARTY CONTINUES 9-CLOSE INSIDE WITH LIVE MUSIC BY JEROBA JUMP SAT. JUNE 19TH
DIRTY McCURDY FRI. JUNE 25TH
LATE NIGHT DYNAMITE
FRIDAYS & SATURDAYS
ALWAYS A DJ IN THE PUB !
SAT. JUNE 26TH
MATT & THE BARNBURNERS Fr i. Ju ne 18t h
UNCLE ANDYl’S DIGEST
1st Annua
BBQ BASH
Outdoors 6-9pm Indoors 9pm-close with Jeroba Jump Live Drawing for Red Sox Tickets and Whitewater Rafting Trip
150 Center St. Auburn • 784-7785 • ClubTexas.info
Bucking the System Submitted by Jimbo
The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the next, says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.
According to Genesis 1:20-22, the chicken came before the egg.
34th Annual Blessing of the Bikes in Colebrook, NH
Join
However, in modern government, because of the heavy investment factors to be taken into consideration, often other strategies have to be tried with dead horses, including the following:
at this fantastic event!
Call 786-2822 FMI
1. Buying a stronger whip. 2. Changing riders. 3. Threatening the horse with termination. 4. Appointing a committee to study the horse. 5. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses. Downtown Street Fair Main St., Colebrook, NH
6. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included. 7. Appointing an intervention team to reanimate the dead horse. 8. Creating a training session to increase the riders load share.
Join the family... The L-A Harley-Davidson family Harley Done Different
207-786-2822 WWW.L-AHARLEY.COM
(continued on next page)
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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A lion's roar can be heard up to five miles away.
(continued from previous page)
The poison-arrow frog contains enough poison to kill 2,200 people.
9. Reclassifying the dead horse as livingimpaired. 10. Change the form so that it reads: "This horse is not dead."
EVE
11. Hire outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
RY TUESDAY NIGHT
12. Harness several dead horses together for increased speed. 13. Donate the dead horse to a recognized charity, thereby deducting its full original cost.
Got a hot ride? Show it off at Roy’s!
EVENT HOURS: 5:00 pm - 8:00 pm T-Shirts • 50/50 Raffle • Prizes • Give-Aways Now featuring
14. Providing additional funding to increase the horse's performance. 15. Do a time management study to see if the lighter riders would improve productivity. 16. Purchase an aftermarket product to make dead horses run faster. 17. Declare that a dead horse has lower overhead and therefore performs better.
&GOLF CENTER Rt. 4, just past Lake Auburn
THE BEST HAMBURGERS AROUND!
18. Form a quality focus group to find profitable uses for dead horses. 19. Rewrite the expected performance requirements for horses.
MADE WITH FRESH GRADE-A STEAK, CUT & GROUND DAILY
www.roysgolf.com
20. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.
The state of Florida is bigger than England.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
JUNE 2010
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Out & About at Andy’s Baked Beans
You cannot hum while holding your nose.
While Bev was away, the rest played at Bev’s Vacation Party
Stop in and meet the
Murray
Morning Crew!
Open weekdays at 5:30am
Receive a FREE 12 oz.
Green Mountain Coffee with the purchase of any of our Breakfast Menu Items
Dave Chapman
Breakfast Sandwiches • Pizza Slices • Muffins • Tornados
Flies fly backwards.
Dan Potvin
Lashin’s Auto Salvage Used Auto Parts JUNE SPECIALS
“If we don’t have it, we can find it!
Free Nationwide Parts Locator System
Our Parts Are Guaranteed! Major Credit Cards Accepted
Tires Tires Tires ‘01 Ford Mustang GT Convertible 66 K, Nice! Asking $8,995
Mindy Potvin
Rt. 121 • Oxford
Photos submitted by Steve Martelli
207-539-4668 1-800-696-5274
There are 132 rooms in the US White House. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
34
ALL PRICES - ALL GOOD!
& Jimbo
JUNE 2010
783-7039
‘86 Ford Mustang GT Convertible Solid Car! $4,495
www.lashinsautosalvage.com
Leonardo Di Vinci invented the scissors.
A single little brown bat can catch 1,200 mosquitoes-sized insects in just one hour.
$10,995
Camels have three eyelids to protect themselves from blowing sand.
A story from the Sears Catalog, 1897
$11,995 2003 BMW 325xi
2005 Chevy Trailblazer EXT LT
AWD, Auto, Loaded, Leather, Roof
Roof, Auto, 3rd Row, 4x4, Tow Pkg., Leather, Loaded
$7,995 $7,995 2004 VW Passat
2003 Saab 93
Roof, Auto, Turbo, CD, Power Windows & Locks
Roof, Turbo, Auto, Leather, Loaded, 50k
$8,495 $7,995 2003 Audi A4 Quattro
2001 GMC Sierra Z71
Turbo, AWD, Auto, Leather, Roof, Loaded
CD, Auto, 4x4, Shortbox, Power Windows & Locks
More vehicles in stock. Stop by today! Shop online at Cliffscars.com
CLIFF’S AUTO SALES
Mr. Roebuck was originally a watchmaker that Mr. Sears hired. They were opposites, Sears a promoter, Roebuck a conservative, careful man. They got along well and became partners. After a while Roebuck sold out for $25,000 because he didn't agree with the frantic expansion of the company. He invented a typewriter and invested the proceeds of the typewriter income in Florida real estate. He lost everything in the crash of 1929. He showed up at the Sears employment office looking for any work at all. He was hired as a "celebrity" to cut ribbons at grand openings, etc. At the age of 44 Mr. Sears retired with over $17 million. At one time, you could buy a mail order barn from Sears. The largest model was 10,000 square feet, not counting the loft.
1511 Minot Ave., Auburn 514-7013
Carnivorous animals will not eat another animal that has been hit by a lightning strike.
A polecat is not a cat. It is a nocturnal European weasel.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
JUNE 2010
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Tammy, if you can name all the colors of the rainbow I’ll buy you an ice cream cone next door!
A hummingbird weighs less than a penny.
Daily Specials Mon. Fergy Tues. Meatball or Meatball w/Cheese Wed. Spaghetti Thurs. Mini Pizza $1 OFF Any Large Pizza Fri. Sat. 2 Ham or Salami Italians Sun. Baked Ziti, Bread & Salad
4 out of 4 kids LOVE Luiggi’s!
Tammy & Katie Rainbow FCU in Mechanic Falls
There are 1,792 steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower.
Law & Order An uncertain and nervous witness was being cross-examined.
The first footprints at Grauman's Chinese Theater (now Mann's Chinese Theater), were made by Norma Talmadge in 1927. Legend has it that she accidentally stepped in wet concrete outside the building. Since then, over 180 stars have been immortalized, along with their hands and feet and even noses (Jimmy Durante).
The lawyer thundered at him, "Have you ever been married?" "Yes, sir," said the witness in a low voice. "Once." "Whom did you marry?" "Well, a woman." The lawyer said angrily, "Of course you married a woman. Did you ever hear of anyone marrying a man?" The witness said meekly, "My sister did!" Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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& Jimbo
JUNE 2010
783-7039
For the first 19 years Crayola Crayons were produced, they came in only one color - black.
In 1637, one out of every four shops in New York City were taverns.
Out & About at a MAJOR Event Actually, Jimbo, it was a Major event! It was my first cheering competition and it was AWESOME!
Chelsea Major
Chelsea, 31/2 is the daughter of Ron & Nichole Major
The first typewriter patented in America was called, "Burt's Family Letter Press."
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
JUNE 2010
783-7039 37
Bulls are color-blind and in fact CANNOT see red, therefore they would charge at any cape no matter what color.
Crazier things have happened!
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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783-7039
There used to be a state in America named Kanawha. It was later renamed West Virginia.
By 1790, the population of Philadelphia, the largest city in America, had grown to 42,444.
Ask about our GLUTEN-FREE daily special!
We’re now open Mondays!
Gina Biron & Josh Emmons
Always Great Homecooked Food at Reasonable Prices
The Best Crepes in L/A Breakfast All Day Lunch Specials
Stop by and say hello. We’d love to see you again! Gluten-free muffins!
1485 Lisbon Street • Lewiston (next to Tire Warehouse) • 786-0667
Main St. Music Lessons
Party Call One elderly woman related this story: "We didn't used to dial phones. You would crank the phone in a code. Ours was two short and two long. Every neighbor had their own code. You dialed a short with about a half-turn of the crank, and a long was about a full turn. "Music was such a novelty, that sometimes one of the rare neighbors who had a phonograph would dial four longs, which was the signal for everyone on the line to pull down their receivers and listen. They would then wind up the Victrola and everyone would listen in wonder to the music. Of course, only one person in every family could listen to the receiver at a time, so everyone would take turns holding the thing to their ears, while the others in the family gathered around eagerly awaiting their turn."
April’s Featured Teacher
& Instrument Repair
Authorized Fender Service Center 376-3376 8 teachers offering lessons in: Picks • Strings Tuners Metronomes
Guitar, piano, bass, voice, banjo, mandolin, violin, brass & woodwinds & music theory
We carry quality new & used instruments And call us for service on any instrument that needs repair.
Steve Grenier & Arthur Melendy
Book your summer lessons now!
Electric guitar & amp packages and Violin/case & bow packages available for rental to our new and current students. Ask about music accessories and gift certificates for your music lover!
134 Main Street, Auburn • 376-3376 • www.mainstreetmusiclessons.com Dimes were originally pronounced "deems."
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
JUNE 2010
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The Show
Only one out of twenty Americans lived it cities in 1790. It is approximately the other way around today.
Submitted by Ethyl Potvin
Two little old ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress.
Goldwing Promotion
One leaned over and said, “Life is so boring. We never have any fun any more. For $10 I'd take my clothes off and streak through that stupid flower show!” “You're on!” said the other old lady, holding up a $10 note. The first little old lady slowly fumbled her way out of her clothes and,completely naked, streaked (as fast as an old lady can) through the front door of the flower show.
Fixed
0.99% APR* Whatever it takes! 0.99% Fixed APR financing available for customers who qualify for super preferred credit tier for up to 36 months through Honda Financial Services. Payment example: 36 monthly payments of $28.20 for each $1,000 financed. Offer good on all model year new and unregistered Gold Wing models. Not all buyers may qualify. Higher rates apply for buyers with lower credit ratings. Check with participating Honda dealers for complete details. Offer ends 6/30/2010. * Promotion is subject to change without notice. * Prior model years may be included in the promotion. See dealer for details.
Join us Sat. June 12th for
Laconia BIKE WEEK sendoff! 9:30-2pm www.centralmainepowersports.com
Free Hot Dogs!
845 Main Street, Lewiston • 689-2345
Christopher Columbus spent less money coming to the New World than it costs the average American to buy a new car today.
Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause and shrill whistling. The smiling and naked old lady came through the exit door surrounded by a cheering crowd. “What happened?” asked her waiting friend. “I won 1st prize as Best Dried Arrangement.”
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
40
& Jimbo
JUNE 2010
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One of the United States used to be called Franklin. The name was changed in 1796 to Tennessee.
Until 1958 you could mail a first-class letter for three cents.
Helping Hand
U.F.O. Sighting
Submitted by Jimbo
Unbelievably Filling Object!
A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom.
Get your own U.F.O. for an unbelievable price! Big enough to share with a friend! Or get it’s little brother, the “Satellite”
Made on our own fresh baked bread!
740 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 783-2981 Hours: Mon-Sun 5am-9pm • www.mygeorgios.com
Interesting Fact The Erie County Public Library in Pennsylvania has had half of Mark Twain's original manuscript of "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" since the late 1800's, but where was the other half? It has been discovered
just recently. Almost like a cliche, it was found in an old trunk in an attic. This attic belonged to the late James Fraser Gluck, who was a benefactor of the library while he was alive. Evidently, Twain sent the manuscript to him for the library, but he held half of it to complete reading at home, then forgot about it.
"He who knows others is learned; He who knows himself is wise." – Lao-tzu
MASTERFUL Kayla Marston & Andy Jarman (also engaged to be married)
both graduated in May with their Masters Degree from UMO.
Congratulations to Kayla R. Marston, M.Ed. & Andy Jarman, M.Ed. "Nobody believes the official spokesperson, but everybody trusts an unidentified source." – Ron Nesen
The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark." The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you." The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure he's out there?" "Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him," she said. The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?" Everyone knows that gasoline was rationed during World War II, but few know how severely. People were allowed three gallons per week. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
JUNE 2010
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Out & About at Irish Twins Pub for the 2010 Breastfest Come to our next outdoor party and enter to win a trip for 2 to Las Vegas!
In the ten years between 1946 and 1956 television sets in American homes jumped from a total of 10,000 to 28 million.
Assisted Home Care June Employee of the Month
Rachel Karbonek
That’s right! We’re giving away a trip to Vegas at each outdoor party!!
Congratulations to Rachel Karbonek, our employee of the month for June! Rachel has been working for Assisted Home Care since May 13, 2003 as a C.N.A. She has done a lot of private duties where she is loved a great deal and works in area nursing homes. She has a calmness about her that is soothing to the people she takes care of. She works well with others and always wears a smile. She has been there quite often to help out when needed for a shift. Families of residents have requested her back for their loved ones, knowing that with Rachel they are in good and caring hands. So thank you, Rachel, for being a part of our family. We appreciate you and all you have done. If you would like to be part of our family, come to Assisted Home Care and apply.
Home Care Means... • More privacy - you get personal care in your own home. • Convenience - continuity of care. • Comfort - being in your own home. • Shorter Recovery Time - people recoup better at home. • Nursing care by qualified caregivers.
Home C d e t s are si s A For more information visit us at: 550 College St., Lewiston, ME
783-7375 So join us June 5th and June 18th at 5pm and support the twins! Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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& Jimbo
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We cover Gray, New Gloucester, Turner, Augusta, Windham, Brunswick, Topsham, Bath, Mechanic Falls, Norway, Bowdoinham, Pownal and surrounding areas.
The Dow-Jones average was never higher than 1000 until 1972. On November 14, 1972, it broke 1000 with 1003.16.
Emily
ne Christi
Introducing the newest addition to Panache:
Jen Scruggs, LMT “I look forward to seeing all my past clients and any new client in need of massage therapy.”
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Stylist Wanted 782-9009 Michel le
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20 Coburn Street, Auburn (Off Center St., across from D’Angelos)
Open Monday-Saturday • www.panachehairandnailstudio.com
Out & About at Irish Twins Pub for the 2010 Breastfest
"Sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you're not really losing it. You're just passing it on to someone else." – Mitch Albom
How would you like to save $28,847.78** in 5 years?
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Find out what you can SAVE by calling Becca, Diane or Jan! APR=Annual percentage rate. Rates shown are as low as 5.45% APR for 15 years and 4.95% APR for 10 years. Payments per $1,000 on 10 year mortgage=$10.59; payments per $1,000 on 15 year mortgage=$8.15. No in-house refinancing. **Amount saved is based on the interest saved as shown in the examples above including the term and interest rate. Savings do not include closing costs for mortgage which may range from $1,800-$2,200. Rates subject to change without notice. A down payment may be required. Mortgages can be financed up to 80% of the appraised value; 1-4 family occupied home, no manufactured homes, primary residence only. Homeowners insurance is required; flood insurance is required when necessary. Member eligibility required. Some restrictions may apply.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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& Jimbo
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"While we may not be able to control all that happens to us, we can control what happens inside us." – Benjamin Franklin
On cooking shows, there is little margarine of error.
We’ve Moved... But Not Far! Still at 120 Center Street Plaza in Auburn Now next to VIP Eyes & Tin Tin Buffet
Out & About with Gregory’s Hair at the Root Cellar Gregory's Hair and Nails recently sponsored a spaghetti dinner at the Root Cellar in Lewiston. The staff of Gregory's helped prepare and serve the meals to those in need. 150 people were fed by the spaghetti dinner which included green beans, bread & rolls and the staff at Gregory's also made a whole bunch of brownies for dessert.
Shipping made easy! 120 Center Street • Auburn
784-9900 www.auburngoinpostal.com
Nuria, we want you to close your eyes if you thought this was a ton of fun.
What you talking ‘bout, Willis?
We want to be the easiest part of your week! Your local option for outsourcing your payroll... Payroll Management has been serving the payroll needs for small and mid size companies since 1989.
PAYROLL MANAGEMENT, INC.
100 Manley Road, Auburn 783-6880 or 800-734-6880 • www.payrollmgt.com "A bend in the road is not the end of the road... unless you fail to make the turn." – Author Unknown
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
JUNE 2010
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Now Open Sundays 11-3 Starting June 6
MUST HAVE COUPON AT TIME OF PURCHASE
You are not stuck where you are unless you decide to be. – Dr. Wayne Dyer
Swept Away Submitted by Beth Francis
132 North Hill Road, Buckfield • (207) 336-2901
Dads Love Power Tools! $
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R.E. Lowell Lumber – Your Full Service Lumber Dealer *All prices good thru 6/25/10
Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married. One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom. The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely. After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, “I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!” “IMPOSSIBLE!” said the groom broom. “WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!” "The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise." -- F. Scott Fitzgerald
www.LowellLumber.com
“You can't blame gravity for falling in love.” – Albert Einstein
"The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball." – Doug Larson
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
JUNE 2010
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Out & About at Irish Twins Pub for the 2010 Breastfest
Here's some life lessons I've learned from jigsaw puzzles: Don't force a fit. If something is meant to be, it will come together naturally.
BREAKFAST SPECIALS “All breakfast specials include coffee.”
Daily Breakfast Specials served until 11am You asked… we listened! A new brand of coffee!
Fresh steak cut and ground daily. Open Mon-Fri 5 am to 8 pm Sat & Sun 6 am to 8 pm
5 Washington St., Auburn
MONDAY: Two eggs, Sausage, Homefries, Toast.............$3.55 TUESDAY: Two eggs, Cornbeef Hash, Toast.....................$3.55 WEDNESDAY: Three Blueberry Pancakes ........................$3.55 THURSDAY: French Toast .....$3.55 FRIDAY: Two Item Omelette..$3.55
783-4304
SATURDAY: Two Golden pancakes w/Sausage ......$3.55
Phone Orders Are Welcome
SUNDAY: French Crepes .......$3.55
!
Expires 6/30/10
$
1 OFF Any Purchase of $500 or more 1 coupon per order
Prices do not include tax.
Here's some life lessons I've learned from jigsaw puzzles: When things aren't going so well, take a break. Everything will look different when you return.
Open on Father’s Day, MLB Package in HD We’ve got all the games! Sunday, June 20th 11am-11pm Full menu available plus Father’s Day specials 71” Plasma 13 Plasma TVs in all
In Thomas Jefferson's first draft of the Declaration of Independence, he included a proposal to put an end to slavery. Other politicians forced him to delete that portion in the final draft. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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& Jimbo
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VOTED #1 Casual Restaurant & Best Burgers in L/A area 120 CENTER STREET PLAZA • AUBURN • 786-0715 • www.gippers.com Here's some life lessons I've learned from jigsaw puzzles: Be sure to look at the big picture. Getting hung up on the little pieces only leads to frustration.
Here's some life lessons I've learned from jigsaw puzzles: Perseverance pays off. Every important puzzle went together bit by bit, piece by piece.
Outdoor Party & BBQ
Out & About at Irish Twins Pub for the 2010 Breastfest
Saturday, June 5th at 5pm Win a trip for 2 to Las Vegas! Prizes • Giveaways • 50/50 Live Music by Chad Porter & The Distributors Proceeds to benefit adults with developmental disabilities Starts at 5pm
Saturday, June 19th
Outdoor Party & BBQ Support the twins!
WIN A TRIP FOR 2 TO LAS VEGAS! Prizes • Giveaways • 50/50 Live music by Chad Porter
OPEN MIC
Come in each week and enter to win our monthly drawing for a
$100 GIFT CERTIFICATE Tuesdays at 7pm
to Music Maniac
Food & Drink Specials Tuesday
Wednesday
Buy 1 Pizza, get 2nd Pizza FREE $1.50 Cans Open Mic 7pm
1/2 Price Appetizers Karaoke starts at 8pm LADIES NIGHT $4 Well Drinks for Ladies Only!
Outdoor parties at Irish Twins have live music, BBQ, prizes and giveaways. What more do you need?
Offered Open to Close Thursday
75¢ Tacos • 75¢ Jumbo Wings $2 Microbrews
Fri. & Sat. Rotating Food & Drink Specials
Live Bands
! No cover charge EVER!!
Irish Twins Pub Hours: Tues.-Wed. & Sat. 3pm-close • Thurs. & Fri. 11am-close
743 Main St., Lewiston • 376-3088 (across from Marden’s) • www.myspace.com/irishtwinspub Here's some life lessons I've learned from jigsaw puzzles: When one spot stops working, move to another. But be sure to come back later (see above).
America was named after Amerigo Vespucci, who map maker Martin Waldseemuller mistakenly thought was Christopher Columbus, the discoverer of North America. Vespucci discovered South America. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
JUNE 2010
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GREEN RECEIVES CERTIFICATION
Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day. – Sally Koch
Michelle Green Community Credit Union is pleased to announce that Michelle Green has received her certificate as a CUNA Certified Financial Counselor. In receiving this Certification, Green has completed a comprehensive training program designed to provide financial counseling skills that will allow her to better assist individuals in achieving their financial goals. This comprehensive program is broken down into 8 modules and covers topics including communication skills, controlling living expenses, understanding consumer credit, matching values to money, retirement, taxes, insurance, investments and more. Green is a Loan Officer with Community Credit Union and has been employed there for the last 11 years. She resides in Greene with her husband Rodney.
Free extra chain with each Husqvarna saw sold!
Community Credit Union is a member-owned, full service financial institution that has been serving its members and Androscoggin County since 1945. With branches located at 144 Pine Street, Lewiston and 40 Stanley Street, Auburn. FMI, log onto www.communitycreditunion.com Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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& Jimbo
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If one is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities. – Maya Angelou
Here's some life lessons I've learned from jigsaw puzzles: The creator of the puzzle gave you the picture as a guidebook.
Whole Home Generator Package
Open Year-Round • Fresh vegetables • Apples & Cider • Fresh Cheese • Smiling Hill Farms milk ...and more!
$ & Farm Stand
Open 7 Days a Week 9am-5pm
100 OFF
Electrical Systems Of Maine 1200 Minot Ave., Auburn • 783-7126
72 Lisbon St., in Lisbon
Limit one per transaction - Expires 6/30/10
The Test
A hug is a
Submitted by Jimbo
handshake
Because of a shortage of maids, the minister's wife advertised for a manservant. The next morning a nicely dressed young man came to the front door. "Can you start the breakfast by seven o'clock?" asked the minister.
from the heart. ~Author Unknown
WE NOW CARRY SIMONTON & ELLISON WINDOWS Stop by our showroom at 884 Lisbon Street in Lewiston Monday - Friday 8 to 5; Saturday 8-1
Other Services We Offer: • Windows: New construction & Replacement • Doors: Entry, Storm & Patio Doors • Roofing: Asphalt - Torchdown - Rubber - Metal • Siding: 17 colors starting at $65/sq.
Installation and other home improvement services available. Call us today!
L & S WINDOWS Laci & Logan children of Scot & Laurianne Warner, owners
884 Lisbon Street, Lewiston 783-9200 or 1-866-989-9155
Here's some life lessons I've learned from jigsaw puzzles: Variety is the spice of life. It's the different colors and patterns that make the puzzle interesting.
"I guess so," answered the man. "Can you polish all the silver, wash all the dishes, do the laundry, take care of the lawn, wash windows, iron clothes and keep the house neat and tidy?" "Say, preacher," said the young fellow rather meekly, "I came here to see about getting married but if it's going to be as much work as all that, you can count me out right now."
TELESPHOBIA The fear of being last.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Through a Child's Eye
Here's some life lessons I've learned from jigsaw puzzles: Establish the border first. Boundaries give a sense of security and order.
Quality, reliable service on all heavy equipment
The world is an adventure, there's so many things to see, the search for buried treasure, climbing high up in a tree.
• $65 per hour on Heavy Duty, Trailers and Equipment • $50 per hour on Light Duty
Finding shells along the seashore, playing marbles in the sand, skipping stones across a pond, throwing as far as you can. Playing a game of hide and seek, way back out in the woods, pretending your a robber, and stealing all the goods. Wading barefoot in a creek, and trying to catch a frog, or going to your favorite park, and playing frisbee with your dog. And as I sit and wonder, it comes as no surprise, how little things can seem so big, seen through a child's eyes. - Author Unknown
Thanks for picking us up! Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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& Jimbo
JUNE 2010
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“Dependable, quality service at an affordable price!” HEAVY DUTY & EQUIPMENT ROADSIDE ASSISTANCE AVAILABLE • Servicing all makes & models of heavy equipment & trucks • Licensed Inspection Station • Hydraulic Hoses made on-site
St. L aure nt & & M Son aine Equip Heavy men t
Hann aford
• Light Duty/Heavy Duty Trailers
Maine Heavy Equipment Service 20 Highland Spring Road, Lewiston
333-3707 • www.MaineHeavy.com Here's some life lessons I've learned from jigsaw puzzles: Don't be afraid to try different combinations. Some matches are surprising.
Here's some life lessons I've learned from jigsaw puzzles: Take time to celebrate your successes (even little ones).
Competitive Pricing on
RESIDENTIAL PROJECTS v Site Work v Water, Sewer & Septic v New Driveway Installation v Concrete Foundations & Floors v Demolition v Retaining Walls v Drainage
CELEBRATING 40 YEARS IN BUSINESS! Materials available and some of their uses (ask about same day delivery): Screened Sand
screened to remove any stones that may exceed 1" in diameter Applications include: pool bedding material, base for patios and walkways. Bank Run Sand unscreened sand that will include a variety of stone; inexpensive backfill material and fill. 2" Crushed Gravel screened / crushed material with heavy rock content; packs well. 2" Minus Gravel screened to remove any stones that may exceed 2" in diameter, appropriate for hand work projects, driveways and walkways. 4" Minus Gravel a well draining material and good choice for roadways / driveways. 4" Packing Gravel well suited for camp roads / steep driveways / drives that will remain unpaved. Screened Loam a screened topsoil essential for planting grass I gardens. Clay Fill well suited for under layment before placement of topsoil in sandy areas. Stone Dust well suited for under layment and crack filler on pavers / brick patios and walkways. 1 1/2" Crushed Stone a screened / crushed stone used for various projects; drainage / septic beds and landscaping. 3/4" Crushed Stone a screened / crushed stone used for various projects; drainage and landscaping 6" Minus Rip Rap crushed ledge, 6" in diameter and less - used for various projects; drainage swales and landscaping. 6"-10" Rip Rap crushed ledge, 6"- 10" in diameter - used for various projects; drainage swales and landscaping.
Just a few of our projects: Residential or commercial. CALL US FOR YOUR
FREE QUOTE!
Locally owned and operated since 1970!
St. Laurent & Sons Excavation, Inc. 20 Highland Spring Road, Lewiston • 784-7944 www.stlaurentandson.com Here's some life lessons I've learned from jigsaw puzzles: Anything worth doing takes time and effort. A great puzzle can't be rushed.
The Eye Exam Eye-examination charts vary according to the manufacturer, but one thing they have in common is that they don't spell anything. One day a patient came into my office for an ophthalmological exam. I asked him to read the 20/40 line of the eye chart, but obviously the letters FZBDE were mostly a blur to him. Finally he ventured a guess. "I can't pronounce his name," the man said, "but I think he played football for Notre Dame."
Proper Edicat Proper attire is required in the cafeteria at the University of Maine. To enforce that rule, the management posted this notice: "Shoes are required to eat in this cafeteria." Next to it, a student added, "Socks can eat wherever they want." "Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive." – Scott Adams Creator of Dilbert Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Charles Carroll was the last of the 59 men who signed the Declaration of Independence to die. He passed away in 1832 at the age of 95.
HARRIS BROTHERS PO Box 2002 • Norway, Maine 04268
743-3891
Call us! No Separating Required!
HARRIS BROS.
SERVING: NORWAY • WEST PARIS MINOT • MCFALLS • OXFORD
Out & About at Irish Twins Pub for the 2010 Breastfest
Smart Jumper As a sergeant in a parachute regiment, I took part in several night-time exercises. Once, I was seated next to a lieutenant fresh from jump school. He was quiet and looked a bit pale, so I struck up a conversation. "Scared, lieutenant?" I asked. He replied, "No, just a bit apprehensive." I asked, "What's the difference?" He replied, "That means I'm scared, but with a university education." Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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& Jimbo
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Murphy's Laws of Law Enforcement: Shatterproof flashlights seldom are.
Why party inside during the summer when you can come to Irish Twins?
You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back. ~ William D. Tammeus
3GUY DESJARDINS
TE VO
For County Sheriff on June 8th “He’s honest, works hard and he’s a great guy!” – Reggie Emery, Sr. Although it is the central figure in the state's flag, the last grizzly in California was spotted in the Sierras in 1924.
Hawaii has the only royal palace in the United States - Iolani.
Don’t forget Father’s Day! We are a full service salon! • Colors, Cuts, Perms, Foils • Licensed Aesthetician • Licensed Massage Therapist • Full range of skin care including Glycolic Peels • All waxing services including Brazilian Wax • Tinting - eyelashes & brows
Sunday, June 20th
Gift cards available for Dad!
786-4311
Call and schedule your appointment 14 Highland Spring Plaza, Suite A Highland Spring Road, Lewiston
Hours: Tues. Wed. & Thu. 6am - 8pm Fri. 6am - 3pm • Sat. 8am - 1pm
For those who are on the downside of advantage, and relying solely on courage there is hope. – Russell Crowe
Sign Your Life Away
Pancakes All A-round
John Hancock's signature on the Declaration of Independence was very large, resulting in the modern term "put your John Hancock" which means to sign something. His signature on other documents was rather large too, but he had a particular reason for writing big on the Declaration. Signing the Declaration was an act of considerable bravery, because it would be seen by the King of England as high treason. He wanted King George III, who was farsighted, to be able to see his signature clearly.
Kiwanians Prep for 53rd Breakfast Uncle Andy fans are always out and about! We’re looking forward to seeing you at the all you can eat Kiwanis Pancake Breakfast sponsored by Coldwell Banker Millett Realty. Andy Choate, Debbie Phillips and Roy Ulrickson are just a few of the veteran flippers who will be returning on Sunday, June 13, at Auburn Festival Plaza, running from 6:30-11:30am, rain or shine under the big-top with plenty of free parking. Dan Goff and his crew of Key Club and Coldwell Banker Millett volunteers will keep the action and fun flowing. Debbie keeps the pancake line lively each year by sharing some of her pancake knowledge. “The timeless history of the pancake began in ancient times, when the simplest form of cooking was to heat bat-
ter in a pan or on a stone over direct heat. Pancakes, one of the earliest forms of bread, were not called pancakes until some time in the late 1800s. Still, no matter what the name, pancakes are enjoyed all over the world.” Andy then said to Roy, “See you on the flip side.” Mailhot’s Best Sausage will be featured, along with coffee, juice and plenty of good cheer from the hundreds of families and friends who attend this Twin Cities spring tradition. Tickets are available at all Twin City Shaw’s and Hannaford’s for $5.00 in advance of June 13, or by calling 786-2061. All children ages 5 and under eat free.
Hawaii is the only US state that grows coffee.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Month of June
Teeth are the only parts of the human body that can't repair themselves.
•Prom •Recitals •Graduation •Father s Day Visit us online at www.anns flower.com
Ann’s Flowers Taylor Brook Mall 14 Millett Drive Auburn
782-3457 "What do you first do when you learn to swim? You make mistakes, do you not? And what happens? You make other mistakes, and when you have made all the mistakes you possibly can without drowning - and some of them many times over - what do you find? That you can swim? Well - life is just the same as learning to swim! Do not be afraid of making mistakes, for there is no other way of learning how to live!" – Alfred Adler Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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& Jimbo
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Red Sox Trivia Q: Which pitcher had the most wins during the 1980s?
Out & About at Irish Twins Pub for the 2010 Breastfest
How to do the Velcro Splat
A: Roger Clemens Red Sox Trivia Q: Which three Hall of Famers have, at some time during their career with the Red Sox, worn uniform #9 A: Rick Ferrell (1933), Bobby Doerr (1937), Ted Williams (1939-1960).
1
Put on the velcro suit If at first you don’t succeed... try, try again! It’s not as easy as it looks!
Red Sox Trivia Q: Where did Hall of Famer Carl Yastrzemski attend college? A: Notre Dame Red Sox Trivia Q: Who was the first Red Sox player to hit 50 or more doubles in a single season? A: Tris Speaker (53 doubles in 1912)
2
Jump!
xt party or event! Rent me for your ne Call 632-4589
3
SPLAT!
The bat is the only mammal that can fly.
The bloodhound is the only animal whose evidence is admissible in an American court.
Pet of the Month
ONE PAYS! TWO PLAY!
Pay just one green fee and a friend plays free. Or, pay for two green fees and two play free.
2 for 1
Monday Night Scrambles
Must present this coupon to receive one free green fee for each paid green fee. Cart fee mandatory for each player. May not be combined with other offers. Good for 18 holes, Mon. thru Thurs. all day, Fri. thru Sun. after 1 p.m. excluding holidays, tournaments and twilight play.
Route 100 in Gray • Just minutes from Turnpike Exit 63 For tee times contact Ben Morey at 657-2586
Earthquakes Around America In 1811 and 1812, three monstrous earthquakes, probably measuring a full 10 on the Richter scale, struck in America. They did not happen in San Francisco, or even the remote mountains of California, but in the remote hills of the middle latitude, eastern
Make your own team or sign up as a single Call the club for more information
Senior League EVERY TUESDAY MORNING Call the club for more information
GOLF CLUB AT COLE FARMS www.springmeadowsgolf.com United States - Ohio, Tennessee and Kentucky. The reason few people know of these earthquakes is that none of them caused much destruction to manmade structures, since there were few structures nearby to damage. Is it safer to live in the eastern United States than California? Many scientists say no. Every state in the Union has had earthquakes.
SAVE GAS - RIDE A GOLF CART • Campers • Senior Citizens • Campground and RV Owners • Free Delivery - 40 mile radius • Conversion Lift Kits • 4 passenger cars
HUGE SALE
1-800-451-1233 • 497 Washington St. Auburn The city of Chicago has the only post office in the world where you can drive your car through.
Available for adoption "James" is a 2 year old neutered male. He arrived March 10th as a stray. The names James, you can call me Jay for short. I'm a curious man with a lot of kitten left in me. I constantly want to be on the prowl looking for fun things to do whether that is jumping counter to counter or swatting flies. I constantly seek the human attention and will rub on your legs until you pick me up or pat me, can I be the pick me up that your household needs? Contact the Greater Androscoggin Humane Society at 55 Strawberry Avenue in Lewiston. Call 783-2311 or visit us on the web at: www.SavingPetsInMaine.org
You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair. – Chinese Proverb Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Q is the only letter in the alphabet that does not appear in the name of any state of the United States.
UP Submitted by Beth Francis
Lovers of the English language might enjoy this. There is a two-letter word in English that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is 'UP.' It is listed in the dictionary as being used as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v]. It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends and we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has a real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special. And this up is confusing: A drain must be (continued on next page)
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Ohio is the only US state without a rectangular flag. Ohio's flag is a pennant.
If you really do put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.
FREE ENERGY AUDIT Commercial or Industrial Call for more information
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opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets UP the earth. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on & on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now... my time is UP, so time to shut UP! Uncle Andy as a little boy
1200 Minot Ave., Auburn
783-7126 www.electricalsystemsofmaine.com Preconceived notions are the locks on the door to wisdom. – Merry Browne
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out & About at Bread & More Bakery in McFalls
LAST MATADOR DEATH: The last major matador to die in a bullfight was Miguel Cubero, known as Yiyo, who was gored in 1985.
Come to Oxford’s only original indoor flea market! Open 7 days a week year-round for your shopping! Collectibles • Coins • Glassware • Sports Cards • Furniture • BEANIE BABIES Advertising Items • Jewelry • Cassettes • DVDs • CD’s • Videos • Antiques & Lots More!
John & April Belanger
VISIT
“THE BOOK NOOK” Regular Paperbacks $1/each $
3.50 each for most Hardcover Books
Selective Hard Covers $2
Large Selection of Fenton Glassware!
20 OFF %
all Audio Books (books on tape & CD)
Dawn Snowdeal
Over 55,000 Pre-Read Books & Cookbooks Pre-Read Books arriving daily
Inventory Reduction Sale 20% - 70% OFF
Featuring
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8 AM - 5 PM
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We honor: M/C, DEBIT, ATM, VISA, Am. Express & Discover cards
s Alway g n i Buy
I think someone has to be listening to you for it to be an actual conversation.
500 feet North of the New Balance Factory Outlet Store
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
OLYMPIC LAST: The 1912 Olympics was the last Olympics that gave out gold medals that were made entirely out of gold.
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960 Main Street, Oxford • 539-4149
Largest Indoor Flea Market in the Area!
I love flying; Iʼve been to almost as many places as my luggage. – Uncle Andy
Out & About at Bread & More Bakery in McFalls
Live Entertainment Fri. June 4th
Mary Murphy
Fri. June 11th Mike Krapovicky Sat. June 12th Carole Wise Sat. June 19th Okbari Belly Dancers Fri. June 25th Brian Patrick
Deli Downstairs Dining Room Upstairs 84 Court St, Auburn
333-3041
Mon-Tues. 7:30-4:00 Wed-Fri 7:30-10:00 Sat. 11:00-10:00
www.hollysown.com Ferris Wheel History The world's first Ferris wheel was built in Chicago for the Colombian Exposition in 1893. Modern Ferris wheels are just littlebitty things compared to that one. It was taller than 50 men standing on each other's
Come join us on the patio!
Brenda Snowdeal
Holly Mireault, Owner
shoulders (as tall as a 10-story building) and each "chair" was a coach which could hold 40 people. Between May 1 and November 1, 27 million people were treated to wonderful displays of modern science at the exposition such as brilliant electric night lighting by George Westinghouse and Nikola Tesla.
Betty Siegel According to the Gemological Institute of America, up until the 1730's, India was the only source for diamonds in the world.
Grilling Season is OPEN! JUNE MEAT PACKAGES Tilton’s Market
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Australia is the only country that is also a continent.
"The marine biology seminars weren't for entertainment, but were created for educational porpoises."
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out & About at Bread & More Bakery in McFalls
"This would be a wonderful world if we showed as much patience in all things as we do in waiting for a fish to bite."
Finish a full-size omelette and have your picture put on our wall of fame!
Home of the Double Yolker
Chris Snowdeal
DAILY SPECIALS Breakfast & Lunch Open 7 Days 6am-2pm
& Bakery
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5 Pigeon Hill Road Route 26 and 11 , Mechanic Falls • 998-5577
Another local girl also has famous brother
Salem Witch Trials
John Waldman’s swimming resume • US Master's World Record Holder • Five Time US Master's American Record Holder • Eight Time Senior National Finalist
The Salem Witch Trials of 1692 were the result of the pranks of a bunch of teenage girls. Some people of the town started saying that the girls might be "bewitched." When the adults seriously wanted to know who had bewitched them, these girls named about 150 random residents of the community. Twenty-two "witches" were killed, mostly by hanging.
John Waldman stands with his sister, Anna Waldman after being inducted into the Maine Swimming Hall of Fame.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
"The two basic rules of human enlightenment: 1. There is a God 2. You're not Him."
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• World Ranked Swimmer • Canadian Cup Champion • USS All-American • Seven Time Big Ten Champion • Eastern Collegiate Champion • New England Prep School Champion • New England YMCA Champion • High School All-American • Maine State YMCA Champion
"You become a champion by fighting one more round. When things are tough, you fight one more round." – James Corbett
Free Wi fi
LIVE BANDS Friday, June 5th
Spawn of Man Friday, June 11th 97 Ash St., Lewiston 783-0668
Paper Street
TABERS OPEN for the Season! Re staurant • Dri ving Range • Mini Golf • Ice Cre am L/A’s Best Onion Rings!
Open 7 days a week!
Lake Shore Drive, First left after the lake Off Rt. 4 in Auburn
June Specials $
45
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20 Pedicure
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Hair © Nails © Massage www.shearmadnesshair-studio.com 1117 Center Street, Auburn • 782-3848
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"Joyfulness keeps the heart and face young. A good laugh makes us better friends with ourselves and everybody around us." – Orison Swett Marden
Strange Lawsuits John Carter, a New Jersey man sued McDonald's for injuries he sustained in an auto accident with one of their customers. He claimed that the customer who hit him did so after spilling the contents of his chocolate shake (which he purchased from McDonald's) onto his lap while reaching over for his fries. He alleged that McDonald's sold their customer food knowing he would consume it while driving and without announcing or affixing a warning to the effect "don't eat and drive." The court concluded that McDonald's had no duty to warn customers of obvious things which they should expect to know, but refused McDonald's request for attorney's fees stating that the plaintiff's attorney was "creative, imaginative and he shouldn't be penalized for that." This case was in the court system for three years, underwent appellate court review and cost McDonald's over $10,000. "The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one." – Mark Twain Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Life is a Theater
"Eating words has never given me indigestion." – Winston Churchill
Invite Your Audience Carefully
Outdoor Patio Now Open
Not everyone is healthy enough to have a front row seat in our lives. There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a DISTANCE. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of, or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not going anywhere relationships or friendships. Observe the relationships around you. Pay close attention. Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which one discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know or appreciate you? The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.
• Beer & wineLocally available owned & operated • Sandwiches, Wraps, Salads & Smoothies • Party Platters & Boxed Lunches • Check out our monthly specials on our website HOURS: Mon-Sat 7am-9pm Sun 10am-8pm
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"As much as we need a prosperous economy, we also need a prosperity of kindness and decency." – Caroline Kennedy
"It is in many people's best interest for you not to find yourself, but it only matters that it is in yours, and the whole world's, to proceed." – Anne Lamott
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people we hang with will have an impact on both our lives and our income. And so, we must be careful to choose the people we hang out with, as well as the information with which we feed our minds. We should not share our dreams with negative people, nor feed them with negative thoughts. Who's in your front row? – Author Unknown
The Addams Family Reunion 2010 Cousin It
Uncle Fester’s shoes
Most auto accidents are caused by mechanical faults - like the loose nut behind the steering wheel.
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Strange Lawsuits A New York appeals court rejected a woman's lawsuit against the company that makes the device called "The Clapper", which activates selected appliances on the sound of a clap. She claimed she hurt her hands because she had to clap too hard in order to turn her appliances on: "I couldn't peel potatoes (when my hands hurt). I never ate so many baked potatoes in my life. I was in pain." However, the judge said she had merely failed to adjust the sensitivity controls.
The only lizard that has a voice is the Gecko.
www.colefarms.com A Maine Tradition You Can Count On! Portland-Lewiston Road, Gray, Maine
JUST ONE MILE NORTH OFF EXIT 63 OF MAINE TURNPIKE
Hours: Monday-Thursday 6 am – 9 pm; Friday 6 am – 9:30 pm Saturday 6 am – 9:30 pm; Sunday 6 am – 9 pm
MORE THAN 60 DESSERTS TO CHOOSE FROM!
Our famous lobster rolls are back!
Served from 10:30-3:30
In 1832, the U.S. Congress established the Hot Springs Reservation, thus establishing the precurser of the current national park. Hot Springs National Park is the oldest park in the current National Park system. "The human brain is unique in that it is the only container of which it can be said that the more you put into it, the more it will hold."
DAILY SPECIALS Monday - 2 Crab Rolls . . . . .$7.95 w/Salad & Chips
Tuesday Yankee Pot Roast . . . . . . . .$7.95 w/Carrots, Potato & Gravy, Rolls
Wednesday Chicken Pot Pie . . . . . . . . .$6.75 w/Potato & Rolls
Thursday -
Jim Houghtaling of Standish
w/Salad & Chips
w/Salad & Rolls
BREAKFAST BUFFET Uncle Andy went to the doctor complaining, "Doctor every time I drink tea my eye hurts!" After examining him, the doctor advised him, "Before drinking your tea, remove the spoon from your mug." Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
JUNE 2010
2 Lobster Rolls . . . . . . . . .$12.95
Friday - Lasagna . . . . . . . . . .$8.75
-- Glenn Doman
66
WEEKDAY LUNCH SPECIALS Monday - Maine Fried Shrimp Tuesday - Fish & Chips Wednesday - Steak Sub Thursday - Grilled Reuben Sandwich Friday - Fried Haddock Sandwich
783-7039
Sunday - Roast Pork . . . . . . .$8.75 w/Potato, Choice of Salad, Coleslaw or Vegetable & Rolls
SATURDAY & SUNDAY
Served from 7am-10:30am Adults . . . . .$6.50 6 & under . .$3.50
Friday & Saturday -
After 4:00 PM
Prime Rib Au Jus w/Potato, Choice of Salad, Coleslaw or Vegetable & Rolls
Friday, Saturday & Sunday Fried or Baked Stuffed Haddock
The only rock that floats in water is pumice.
The only wood used by famed London cabinetmaker Thomas Chippendale was mahogany.
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The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the mysterious language of science and medicine. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone working on a Ph.D. dissertation or academic paper anywhere! 1) "It has long been known": I didn't look up the original reference. 2) "A definite trend is evident": These data are practically meaningless. 3) "While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to the questions": An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published. 4) "Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study": The other results didn't make any sense. 5) "Typical results are shown": This is the prettiest graph. 6) "These results will be in a subsequent report": I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded. 7) "In my experience": Once "In case after case"... Twice "In a series of cases"... Thrice "It is believed that". 8) "It is generally believed that": A couple of others think so too.
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An ear of corn averages 800 kernels in 16 rows.
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An average beaver can cut down two hundred trees a year. 9) "Correct within an order of magnitude": Wrong.
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12) "A careful analysis of obtainable data": Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of soda. 13) "It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of this phenomenon occurs": I don't understand it. 14) "After additional study by my colleagues": They don't understand it either. 15) "Thanks are due to Joe Blotz for assistance with the experiment and to Cindy Adams for valuable discussions": Mr. Blotz did the work and Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant. 16) "A highly significant area for exploratory study": A totally useless topic selected by my committee.
Before
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Up to 4 months & temporary up to 2 weeks
D’Avanti Salon
A Paul Mitchell Color Salon
in the Lewiston Mall • 782-0202 • www.davanti-salon.com Hours: Tues - Fri. 10-6 • Saturday 10-4 (closed Sun. & Mon.) • Appointments Appreciated • Walk-Ins Welcome
"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity."
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Mechanic Falls Redemption 128 Lewiston Street • McFalls • 345-3765
-- Albert Einstein
THE DECK awaits you…
Pat’s Pizza 784-8221 85 Center Street, Auburn
17) "It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this field": I quit. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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Richard Conway, owner
An average pig squeals at a range from 100 to 115 decibels.
Open Cribbage
Call for Takeout
Every Wednesday 6pm
Free Delivery with $25 order
312-5100
Daily Specials
EVERY SATURDAY
Sur f & Tur f Scallops & S teak
$10.99
LIVE MUSIC
• Tuesdays: Fried BBQ Chicken wrap ..........................$3.99 (add Fries for $1 more) • Wednesdays: Small Cheese or Pepperoni Pizza...............$3.99 2 Hot Dogs..................................................$2.99 Chili Dog ....................................................$3.99 • Thursdays: Taco Salad ..................................................$5.99 3 Tacos........................................................$3.99 Mexican Flat Bread Stack ..........................$6.99 • Fridays: Fresh Haddock Fish-n-Chips .....................$7.99 w/ coleslaw Lobster Roll w/fries & coleslaw................$9.99 Baked Scallops............................................$9.99
June 5th . . . . . . . . .Nitpickers June 11th . . . . . . . .4 Play
Call for other band dates
In 1930, Birds Eye Frozen Foods, part of General Foods, marketed frozen peas and spinach for the first time in Springfield, Massachusetts. Flash freezing was developed by Clarence Birdseye.
Deck is Open!
Reserve your spot on the deck to see fireworks! Live music 8-11 with 4 Play
30 Lowell Street, Lewiston
312-5100 Hours: Closed Sunday & Monday Tues. 11-7 • Wed. & Thurs. 11-9 • Fri. & Sat. 11-close
Average number of hummingbirds required to create the weight of 1 ounce: 18.
Tuesday & Thursday Specials! 9pm-Midnight Well Drinks
$ 00
4
The patron saints of Ireland are Saint Patrick, Saint Bridget and Saint Columba. However, Saint Patrick is the only one of the three who is commonly recognized as the patron saint. Saint Patrick's Day, March 17, is celebrated in Ireland and abroad as the Irish national day, with parades and other celebrations.
Don’t forget! Jello Shots Always $1 Any Domestic
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In 161 A.D., Marcus Aurelius became the Emperor of Rome. He was a noted stoic philosopher as well as a wise and benevolent ruler, one of the few Roman emperors who were considered good rulers. Established in 1995, Jones International University became the first U.S. university operating entirely online to earn accreditation when the North Central Association of Colleges and Schools granted it accreditation on March 5, 1999. Average number of squirts from a cow's udder needed to yield a gallon of milk : 345.
69 Sabattus St., Lewiston • 783-3287 Hours: Mon.-Sat. 10am-1am • Sun Noon-1am
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Answered Prayer
Cats average 16 hours of sleep a day, more than any other mammal.
Submitted by Jimbo
The pastor of a local church had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and was afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc. The kitty would not come down. The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so the pastor decided that if he tied a rope to his car and drove away so that the tree bent down, he could then reach up and get the kitten. He did all this, checking his progress in the car frequently, then figured if he went just a little bit further, the tree would be bent sufficiently for him to reach the kitten. But as he moved a little further forward, the rope broke. The tree went BOING and the kitten instantly sailed through the air - out of sight. The pastor felt terrible. He walked all over the neighborhood asking people if they'd seen a little kitten. No. Nobody had seen a stray kitten. So he prayed, "Lord, I just commit this kitten to your keeping," and went on about his business. A few days later he was at the grocery store, and met one of his church members. He happened to look into her shopping cart (continued on next page)
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Celebrating our 2nd Anniversary!
Customer Appreciation All Month Long • Enter our raffle to win a complete products package • Free Solar Oil with any manicure and/or pedicure • 10% off all services to new clients
L to R: Candice Lamontagne, Mel Cote, Darcy Ames & Hannah Greene
Our stylists are certified in
336 Center St. • Auburn
777-1611 Call today for your appointment • Walk-ins welcome
Average length of a coat hanger when straightened: 44 inches.
There’s a lot to running a business. It requires balance. And juggling many things. One of them is advertising your business. Choosing the right direction for your advertising doesn’t have to be difficult. We offer the most unique print advertising there is with proven results for 15 years.
Uncle Andy’s Digest 783-7039 editor@UncleAndys.com Average calories burned daily by the sled dogs running in Alaska's annual Iditarod race: 10,000.
During pregnancy, the average woman's uterus expands up to five hundred times its normal size.
New Lounge Now Open A perfect gathering place for any type of party
We can accommodate up to 40 guests in our private room! Special Menu Available Upon Request • Company Holiday Parties • Birthday Parties • Wedding Rehearsal Dinners • Anniversary Parties • Funeral Gatherings • Company Outings • Group Meetings • Family Reunions
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225-3523 • Fax 225-3635 Located on Route 4 in Turner
Great Seafood With Great Friends
Open Sun-Thurs 10am-8pm • Fri. & Sat. 10am-9pm
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M-F 9-6 • Sat. 9-4
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and was amazed to see cat food. Now this woman was a cat hater and everyone knew it, so he asked her, "Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats so much?" She replied, "You won't believe this," and told him how her little girl had been begging her for a cat, but she kept refusing. Then a few days before, the child had begged again, so the Mom finally told her little girl, "Well if God gives you a cat, I'll let you keep it." She told the pastor, "I watched my child go out in the yard, get on her knees, and ask God for a cat. And really, Pastor, you won't believe this, but I saw it with my own eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out of the blue sky, with its paws outspread, and landed right in front of her."
Visit our Showroom at: 1057 Sabattus St. Lewiston • 786-4256
The Undertaker
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J.T. REID’S GUNS 86 Court St., Auburn • 777-3579 Jamie Pelletier, Manager
Hours: 9-5 Mon-Fri • 9-1 Sat
John Reid, Owner
A hedgehog's heart beats 190 times a minute on average and drops to only 20 beats per minute during hibernation.
Undertakers Mal and Mel were storing embalming fluid. It was considered appropriate to place it in an area out of sight. Mel had his share stored promptly but there was still a good portion left for Mal to take care of. When asked why he had not just stored it all, Mel said, "The rest is for Mal to hide." Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out & About at L-A Harley Davidson's Outdoor Bike Night
The average elephant produces 50 pounds of dung each day.
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George Washington, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson all played marbles. In that era the game of marbles was fashionable among adults. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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ELECTRICAL SYSTEMS OF MAINE
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www.electricalsystemsofmaine.com Murphy's Laws of Law Enforcement: To err is human, just do it in front of as few people as possible!
Murphy's Laws of Law Enforcement: Anyone that flirts with you on-duty won't even recognize you off-duty.
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Out & About at L-A Harley Davidson's Outdoor Bike Night
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786-5556
Murphy's Laws of Law Enforcement: The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
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527 Rt. 202 in Greene 1/4 mile north of the IGA on your right www.futurepoolandspas.com
Murphy's Laws of Law Enforcement: If your raid is going well, you're at the wrong house.
It's easy to make a buck, but hard to make a difference. – Tom Brokaw Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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The Writing A Jewish man took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park. He sat down on a bench and began eating. Since Jewish people do not eat leavened bread during the eight day holiday, he was eating Matzoh, a flat crunchy unleavened bread that has dozens of perforations. A little while later a blind man came by and sat down next to him. Feeling neighborly, the Jewish man passed a sheet of matzo to the blind man. The blind man handled the matzo on both sides for a few minutes, looked puzzled, and finally exclaimed, "Who wrote this junk?" During a children's sermon, the Pastor asked the children what "Amen" means. A little boy raised his hand and said: "It means - 'Tha-tha-thathat's all folks!' " A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.
Give a man a fish and feed him for a day.; give a man a stick of dynamite and soon the whole village will be strewn with mud, seaweed, and unidentifiable chunks of fish.
Now Open for Lunch & Dinner! LADIES NIGHT! Ladies dine FREE every Wednesday 5pm-11pm
Irish American Eatery & Pub
OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK 30 Beers on Tap • Great Food, Friends, Spirits & Entertainment
34 Court St. (Corner of Court & Main St.) Auburn
Murphy's Laws of Law Enforcement: Your mouthiest traffic violator will be related to the sheriff.
For your personal or commercial needs contact
BILODEAU INSURANCE AGENCY LEWISTON
BRUNSWICK
541 Lisbon Street Lewiston, ME 04240 784-4029 • Fax: 784-2360
92 Pleasant St., P.O. Box 679 Brunswick, ME 04011 725-2797 • Fax: 725-6001
A young girl answered: "Because they couldn't get a babysitter." The last "Tonight Show" with Johnny Carson as host was May 22, 1992. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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Murphy's Laws of Law Enforcement: The speed with which you respond to a fight in progress is inversely proportional to how long you have been an officer.
U1st ANCLE A NDY ’ S D IGEST nnual BBQ BASH Friday, June 18th
Outdoor Party & Barbecue 6-9pm FREE ENTRY Live Entertainment WIN PRIZES Red Sox Tickets or Whitewater Rafting Trip
9pm-Close - the party continues inside... DRINK SPECIALS on Miller Lite & Twisted Tea
Live Music by Jeroba Jump Classic Arena Rock Cover Band
Only $3 Cover when you mention Uncle Andy’s Digest
Join us for a night of fun! 150 Center St. Auburn • 784-7785 • ClubTexas.info
FREE ENTRY
for barbecue attendees
Dolphins sleep at night just below the surface of the water. They frequently rise to the surface for air.
One Light Bulb at a Time A physics teacher in high school, once told the students that while one grasshopper on the railroad tracks wouldn't slow a train very much, a billion of them would. With that thought in mind, read the following, obviously written by a good American. My grandson likes Hershey's candy. I noticed, though, that it is marked made in Mexico now. I do not buy it any more. My favorite toothpaste Colgate is made in Mexico... now I have switched to Crest. You have to read the labels on everything. This past weekend I was at Kroger. I needed 60W light bulbs and Bounce dryer sheets. I was in the light bulb aisle, and right next to the GE brand I normally buy was an off-brand labeled, "Everyday Value." I picked up (continued on next page)
Professional Home Inspections, Inc.
RP R
Complete Home Inspections Water Testing • Water Radon Air Radon • Lead Paint Testing • Mold Testing Infrared Thermal Imaging
Certified Inspector 72 Old Lisbon Rd. • Lewiston, ME 04240
Tel. 207-782-9663 • Fax 1-207-514-8058 www.RPRPROHOMEINSPECTIONS.COM Email: Roger@RPRprohomeinspections.com
Dragonflies are one of the fastest insects, flying 50 to 60 mph.
ANDY’s Baked Beans & Tavern Where All Good Friends Meet
I wish someone had told me. I would have stayed right here!
Mommy missed a great party while on vacation!
Every Saturday “Love at First Bite” Andy’s Baked Bean Specials DON’T MISS OUT! 47 Broad Street, Auburn • 782-9044
HOURS: Tues. & Wed. 10am-8pm • Thurs. & Fri.10am-Close • Sat. 8am-Close
JUNK PICK-UP & REMOVAL Brush • Bulk Items • Scrap Metal Building Materials and more
Call DON’S HAULING Debris Removal
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Serving Greater L/A and the surrounding communities
Residential/Commercial
689-5297
Beaver teeth are so sharp that Native Americans once used them as knife blades.
At the end of the Beatles' song "A Day in the Life", an ultrasonic whistle, audible only to dogs, was recorded by Paul McCartney for his Shetland sheepdog.
MELANSON CONSTRUCTION, INC. 84 No Name Pond Road, Lewiston, ME • 784-5899
PAVING
• Residential and Commercial Paving • Sweeping • Seal Coating
Call for FRimEatEes Est
784-5899
Jewelry doesn’t fit? Bring it in and get it sized. ALL jewelry repairs done in-house by an expert jeweler. Watch Batteries Replaced • Watch Bands • Ring Sizings • Stone Setting Clasp Replacement • Bead Stringing • Appraisals • Eyeglass Repair
DiamondCut
Jewelers
1600 Main St. Rt 26 in Oxford • 739-2300 Always Free Jewelry Cleaning & Inspection Mon-Fri 9-6; Sat. 9-3 • diamondcutjewelers.com
Lisa
Mindy
MACHINE GUNS • SILENCERS • NFA TRANSFERS SHORT BARREL RIFLES/SHOTGUNS Come check out our inventory… you’ll be blown away! We do special orders too!
We also carry: All other types of firearms Knives • Ammo by the case We Buy - Sell - Trade Finders fee for collections
(continued from previous page)
both types of bulbs and compared the stats they were the same except for the price. The GE bulbs were more money than the Everyday Value brand but the thing that surprised me the most was the fact that GE was made in MEXICO and the Everyday Value brand was made in the USA in a company in Cleveland, Ohio. So on to another aisle Bounce Dryer Sheets, yep, you guessed it, Bounce cost more money and is made in Canada. The Everyday Value brand was less money and MADE IN THE USA! I did laundry yesterday and the dryer sheets performed just like the Bounce Free I have been using for years and at almost half the price! My challenge to you is to start reading the labels when you shop for everyday things and see what you can find that is made in the USA - the job you save may be your own or your neighbors! SHOP LOCAL! Use our advertisers!!
Dog Rules Basic Rules From Dogs
Chris Jordan, Owner
Call Matt, Drew or Chris at
Rt. 4 • Turner, ME
225-3432
Just past Twitchell’s Airport
Chris Jordan, owner 577-0210
Camel milk does not curdle.
g3firearms@megalink.net
CHEWING: Make a contribution to the fashion industry. ...Eat a shoe. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington designating Southern slang, or "Hickbonics," as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. A speaker of this language would be a Hickophone.
The following are excerpts from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:
Saturday, June 19th Don’t miss the... And be sure to stop by Ron’s Mexican Cantina & Grill. All proceeds are donated to Camp Sunshine! Thank you for your continued support!!
Camp Sunshine donation destination!
HEIDI - (noun) Greeting.
Sponsored by:
Windham Automotive
HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: Heidi, Hire yew?" BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck." JAWJUH - (noun) - The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck." BAMMER - (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum. Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements." MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts." THANK - (verb) - Ability to cognitively process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare." (continued on next page)
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385 Roosevelt Trail, Windham
892-1212 The last bare-knuckle fight of pro boxing took place in 1889. John L. Sullivan KO'd Jake Kilrain in 75 rounds.
Windham Summerfest here we come!
Windham will be smokin’ on June 19th! Come check out all the festivities!
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Catfish have 100,000 taste buds. BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare." IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage: "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!" RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago." indham •
orth W . 115 in N
0
892-822
n Rt
o Located
At nearly 50 percent fat, whale milk has around 10 times the fat content of human milk, which helps calves achieve some serious growth spurts - as much as 200 pounds per day.
Don’t forget
Father’s Day is June 20th. But you can bring dad and the whole
Thatcher’s has the best food in Windham!
family anytime!
Casual Dining in a Relaxed Atmosphere
ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck." FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far." TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck." TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime." RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."
RESTAURANT 892-9922
Hours: Mon - Sat 11am - 10pm Sun 12 - 8pm
Located at 907 Roosevelt Trail
Dave & Maggie Garry, Owners
FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. (continued on next page)
An iguana can stay under water for 28 minutes.
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(continued from previous page)
Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."
An electric eel can produce a shock of up to 650 volts.
RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats." FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed...must be from some farn country." DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim." EAR - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas: Oxygen. Usage: "He cain't breathe...give 'im some ear!" BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence." JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction. Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?" HAZE - a contraction. Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit' n'is laf." SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see". VIEW - contraction: (verb) and pronoun. Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City... view?" GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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A woodpecker can peck twenty times a second.
Summer Catering From Weddings to Backyard BBQ’s to Company Parties & More! Try Dad’s Place for your next event!
Call Diana or Larry for more info and pricing
Hot & Cold Buffet-Style Catering Professional service at an affordable price No job too big or too small!
345-9009 There’s NO PLACE like...
Dad’s Place Catering Division
www.dadsplace.info
Out & About on the Songo River Queen in Naples
A Holstein's spots are like a fingerprint or snowflake. No two cows have exactly the same pattern of spots.
Photos by Sue Bonior
THIS is the best value, anywhere, anyhow!
Did you know that the Songo River Queen is a replica of the famed Mississippi River Paddle Wheeler?
14’wide 2 BR, Range, Refrig., Gas Furnace, Water Heater, Etc. $26,995 or $250/mo. for 180 mo. APR 9% w/$1,300 down*
$36,995 - 72x14 3 BED/2 BATH $37,995 - 80x14 3 BED/2 BATH EASTLAND A4102 $49,995 - 44x28 3 BED/2 BATH TITAN SV948 $59,995 - 52x28 3 BED/2 BATH “BEST SELLER ON THE EAST COAST” - EASTLAND A3126 $67,995 - 56x28 3 BED/2 BATH (appliances and more included) KH501A $71,995 - 72x48 4 BED/2 LIVING ROOM & DINING ROOM EASTLAND A3120
MODULARS $49,995 - 36x24 RANCHES or $300 for 360/mo. APR 6% $64,995 - CAPE - 36x26 NEW ERA HUTCHINSON $88,995 - 2 STORY, 1,900 sq. ft. NEW ERA OWASSO $99,995 - 2 STORY 36x26 NEW ERA FERGUSON
Camelot Homes
www.cm-h.com
Open Daily 10 to 6 • ALWAYS OPEN SAT. & SUN. 10 to 5 1049 Washington Street • Rt. 202, Auburn, ME 04210 • 1-800-810-2708 • 786-4016 In Switzerland a pine tree is planted at the home of the newly wed couple as a sign of fertility and good luck.
Windham/Raymond Adult Education SUMMER CLASSES BEGIN JULY 12 Flashing the cash always gets Allan excited!
• GED/High School Diploma/Math Lab Tues., 5-8 PM, 7/13 – 8/24 FREE
• College Math Prep – 020 Level Wed., 6- 8:30 PM, 7/14 – 8/18 $59
• GED/High School Diploma/Math Lab Raymond Wed., 5-8 PM, 7/14 – 8/25 FREE
• College Math Prep – 050 Level Wed., 6- 8:30 PM, 7/14 – 8/18 $59
• GED/High School Diploma/Math Lab Thurs., 9- Noon, 7/15 – 8/25 FREE
• Intro to Quickbooks Includes Book Thurs., 9 – 11 AM, 7/15 – 8/4 $79 • Accounting III Includes Book Thurs., Noon – 4 PM, 6/24 – 8/19 $169 • Weekly Group Mountain Bike Rides Tues., 6 – 8 PM, 7/13 – 8/17 $29
• Adult Basic Reading Wed.,6-8:30PM, 7/14 – 8/25 FREE • English for Speakers of Other Languages ESOL Wed., 6-8 PM, 7/14 – 8/18 FREE • English for Speakers of Other Languages ESOL Tues., 9-11 AM, 7/14 – 8/17 FREE • Preschool Playgroup Tues., 10 – 11:30 AM, 7/13 – 8/17 FREE
ALSO: Healthy Meal Planning Hula Hoop Fitness Peak-a-Week – Mountain Hikes Preparing Your Summer Harvest Yoga for Beginners
Call 892-1819 FMI or check out our detailed listing at:
www.windham.maineadulted.org or call 892-1819 FMI
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A female mackerel lays about 500,000 eggs at one time.
REAL ESTATE • HOME IMPROVEMENT GUIDE
ANDROSCOGGIN TITLE COMPANY 95 MAIN STREET • AUBURN, MAINE 04210 Title Insurance • Title Searches • Real Estate Closings
Bart Kelsea, President (207) 784-6413 When they heard this was for Uncle Andy’s, we could just imagine what they might be thinking... Oh cool, I’ve always wanted to be in that.
Out ‘n About in the Digest. I can’t wait!
They’re like local celebrities. Everyone knows Big Jimbo & Little Trav.
Bethany, Dawn & Darlene
Danita & Leah
Rainbow FCU Lewiston branch
Rainbow FCU Lewiston branch
A father sea catfish keeps the eggs of his young in his mouth until they are ready to hatch. He will not eat until his young are born, which may take several weeks.
Dog Rules
Sabattus Home For Sale
Basic Rules from Dogs
NEWSPAPERS: If you have to go to the bathroom while playing in the front yard, always use the newspaper that's placed in the driveway every morning for that purpose.
It's always too early to quit.
3 bedroom, 2.5 bath Log home with indoor pool with ion pool system (no chlorine - odorless). Master bedroom with bath, cathedral ceiling, walk out basement. 2,600 sq. ft. on 1.5 acres. Must see! $229,900
Call Bert Cote to set up a showing!
754-5600
– Norman Vincent Peale
A cow gives nearly 200,000 glasses of milk in her lifetime.
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Out & About on the Songo River Queen in Naples
#
A Cornish game hen is really a young chicken, usually 5 to 6 weeks of age, that weighs no more than 2 pounds.
$
Spend 50 or more
Photos by Sue Bonior
Please mention Uncle Andy’s Digest
Get $10 OFF any order! ROLL TOWELS - ALL TYPES Bathroom Tissue, Trash Liners, Plates, Cups, Napkins, ETC. • Cleaning Chemicals & Janitorial Supplies
NEXT DAY DELIVERY IN L/A AREA!
Stop waiting in line at the Big Box stores for your paper and janitorial supplies! Just call in your order...it’s that SIMPLE!!
wiper & paper
No m Minimu Order
120 Mill St., Auburn • 784-5779 or 1-800-439-WIPE • GoodmanWiper.com
...For a three hour tour, a three hour tour...
How does your vehicle stack up?
An apple a day
STILL LOOKING FOR ME? CCURATE CCOUNTING & Tax Services, P.A. • Income Tax Returns • Payroll Taxes Antarctica is the only continent without reptiles or snakes. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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JASON HALL
• Sales & Use Tax • Accounting Systems
922 Sabattus Street Lewiston • 777-7005 (Corner of Sabattus & Garcelon Streets - Across from Val’s Rootbeer)
A chameleon can move its eyes in two directions at the same time.
REAL ESTATE • HOME IMPROVEMENT GUIDE
My daddy can help design your new kitchen! Corinne Rose with her daddy, Todd Lebel
Does your kitchen beg for a new makeover? Come in and let us show you what the power of buying locally can do for you!
550 Lisbon Street, Lewiston, ME • 782-0831 Hours: Mon. - Fri. 8 to 5• Sat. 9 to 2
www.shermarnolds.com There are approximately 7,000 feathers on an eagle.
The Sears Catalog Back in the Day The Sears catalog and other mail-order outfits affected the easy prosperity for the rural general stores. In some places the local merchants would trade with the children of the community. They'd offer one movie ticket for every Sears or Montgomery Ward catalog the kids could bring. Then these merchants would have big bonfires to burn all the catalogs.
Why are barns usually red? Years ago, red was the cheapest color of paint. Why was red paint the cheapest? Red paint was the cheapest color, because that was the color made in the largest quantities, since everybody ordered red for their barns.
Interesting Fact The $ was originally equipped with not one, but two vertical lines. Sometimes you still see it used that way. The two vertical lines represented a U superimposed over the S, which stand for U.S., the United States. The United States is the only country that incorporates its own name into its monetary symbol. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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The Eiffel Tower is painted approximately once every 7 years and requires nearly 50 tons of paint each time.
Come on, rescue a friend today! These animals & more are available for adoption at the Greater Androscoggin Humane Society
BROTHERS CONSTRUCTION
Babs
Voted “Best of the Best” 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008 & 2009 Greater L/A
Patches
Replace your Roof Today! WHAT’S INCLUDED IN ALL OF OUR QUOTES! • Remove and haul away all roofing debris! • Apply 6 feet of Certainteed ice shield. • Apply 15lb. felt paper on entire roof area. • Install a 30 yr. Certainteed architectural shingle on entire roof! • Installation of ridge vent on entire ridge.
Eileen
James
We have Workers Compensation
Phyllis
DO THEY?
783-7299 Senior Citizen Discount
Email: roofnfools@yahoo.com web site: www.LessardRoofing.com
Sadie
Order your new roof today and receive Tigger
Kakes
FREE LEAD FLASHING for around the chimney
Sadie
(one chimney only)
Velvet
783-2311
Androscoggin Humane Society • www.gahumane.org
783-2311
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Sea water is approximately 3.5% salt.
How does your vehicle stack up?
Our galaxy has approximately 250 billion stars.
MOOMOO
$
23
99
per gallon
$
24
99
per gallon
Handy Hardware 9 Depot Square, Mechanic Falls
345-2091 Hours: M-F 7am-5pm; Sat/ 8am-5pm; Sun 9am-1pm
The Empire State Building in New York City weighs approximately 365,000 tons.
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Strange Lawsuits A man sued AnheuserBusch for $10,000 for false advertising. He claimed that he suffered physical and mental injury and emotional distress from the implicit promises in the advertisements. When he drank the beverage, success with women did not come true for him plus, he got sick. The Michigan Court of Appeals affirmed a lower-court decision dismissing the case. In 2001, Swedish golfer Annika Sorenstam became the first female golfer to win more than $7 million in her career when she won the Chick-fil-A Charity Championship in Stockbridge, Georgia.
Once a human reaches the age of 35, he/she will start losing approximately 7,000 brain cells a day. The cells will never be replaced.
CURBING PAVING
RETAINING WALLS
Also Offering: Excavating • Demolition • Yard Maintenance • House Lots Commercial/Residential Site Work & More!
JUNE SPECIAL: Est. 1945
Free delivery on 1-3 yards of loam within a 10 mile radius OR 10lbs. of premium grass seed FREE with the purchase of 18 yards of screened loam. Call for more details!
FREE ESTIMATES Call
(Material deliveries including Gravel, Stone, Loam, Sand and Mulch).
1331 Sabattus Street, Lewiston • lppoirier@myfairpoint.net
Approximately 850 peanuts make a 18 oz jar of peanut butter.
Glacier National Park in Montana was established on May 11, 1910. The park encompasses over 1,000,000 acres and includes parts of two mountain ranges, over 130 named lakes, more than 1,000 different species of plants and hundreds of species of animals.
Dog Rules Basic Rules from Dogs
Pull up a seat at the new bar or grab a table in the dining room at the Village Inn today!
HOUSEBREAKING: Housebreaking is very important to humans, so break as much of the house as possible.
Shari & Denise
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
Approximately 20% of Americans have a passport.
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782-3617
Thinking of new windows and doors? Then you just made $1500!
How does your vehicle stack up?
(A government tax rebate is still available)
Best prices with the highest quality workmanship. Think Decks, Garages, & Sunrooms, too! “The Difference is in the Details”
OVER 20 YEARS OF BUILDING EXPERIENCE
Call 753-9887 or 576-8528
Fully Insured • Many References Available
Do you know what this is?
The Maine Event’s Learn to Cheer Family and Friends Exhibition
It’s Frosty the Snowman’s baby picture!
Why more people choose the Fontaine Team! CENTER STREET . . . . .AUBURN . . . . . .SALE PENDING SAMPSON ROW . . . . .HALLOWELL . . .SALE PENDING GILL STREET . . . . . . .AUBURN . . . . . .SALE PENDING GARFIELD ROAD . . . .AUBURN . . . . . .SALE PENDING ARBANIA STREET . . . .AUBURN . . . . . .SALE PENDING SEVENTH STREET . . .AUBURN . . . . . .SALE PENDING TURNER STREET . . . .AUBURN . . . . . .SALE PENDING BROADVIEW AVE . . . .AUBURN . . . . . .SALE PENDING POWNAL ROAD . . . . .AUBURN . . . . . .SALE PENDING AUGUSTA ROAD . . . . .BELGRADE . . . .SALE PENDING MITCHELL LANE . . . . .BRIDGTON . . . .SALE PENDING STURBRIDGE LANE . .CUMBERLAND .SALE PENDING MEADOW ROAD . . . . .DURHAM . . . . .SALE PENDING CARY HILL ROAD . . . .HARTFORD . . . .SALE PENDING
PETTINGILL STREET .LEWISTON . . . .SALE PENDING JONES AVE. . . . . . . . .LEWISTON . . . .SALE PENDING LAASE STREET . . . . . .LEWISTON . . . .SALE PENDING HEATHWOOD LANE . .LEWISTON . . . .SALE PENDING ST. JEROME STREET .LEWISTON . . . .SALE PENDING HILLCREST AVE . . . . .LEWISTON . . . .SALE PENDING CASSELL STREET . . . .LEWISTON . . . .SALE PENDING IRENE STREET . . . . . .LISBON . . . . . . .SALE PENDING LISBON ROAD . . . . . .LISBON FALLS .SALE PENDING MINOT AVE. . . . . . . . .MINOT . . . . . . .SALE PENDING ORCHARD LANE . . . . .MONMOUTH . . .SALE PENDING STAPLES AVE. . . . . . .OXFORD . . . . . .SALE PENDING HILL VALLEY ROAD . .POLAND . . . . . .SALE PENDING MARSH ROAD . . . . . .SABATTUS . . . .SALE PENDING
These are just a few of the sales the Fontaine Team has pending!
Call 784-3800 to list your property with The Real Estate Leader 336 Center St., Auburn In the Harvard Mall •
www.brendafontaine.com
Dog Rules Basic Rules from Dogs
HOLES: Rather than digging a BIG hole in the middle of the yard and upsetting your human, dig a lot of smaller holes all over the yard so they won't notice. If you arrange a little pile of dirt on one side of each hole, maybe they'll think it's gophers. There are never enough holes in the ground. Strive daily to do your part to help correct this problem.
Strange Lawsuits While climbing a mountain, a young man slipped and fell 90 feet and sustained injuries. The mountain rescue unit, which has saved hundreds of lives over the past 30 years, worked with a physician and a paramedic to mount a difficult night time helicopter rescue. The rescuers probably saved the man's life...but he turned around and slapped them with a $12 million lawsuit. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Boating Basics One of the world's most famous merchant captains died, having long been admired by his crew and fellow officers. They remained puzzled, however, over a strange ritual he performed daily. While at sea he would lock himself in his cabin and open a small safe, take out an envelope with a note inside and read it. After locking the paper back in the safe, he would return to his duties. For years this went on, and his crew became very curious. Was it a treasure map? Was it a letter from a long lost love? Everyone speculated about the contents of the strange envelope.
The average US male will spend 2,965 hours shaving during his lifetime.
Andy’s Baked Beans, New Auburn Social Club, Rolly’s Diner and Happy Days Diner present
friday nite cruise nites A bi-weekly community event 50/50 raffle Giveaways
Time: 6pm-8pm Place: Second Street, New Auburn, behind Rolly’s Diner Dates: June 11, 25 • July 16, 30 • August 13, 27 Andy’s Baked Beans will have food specials for cruise cars
Oldies Music
Let’s cruise downtown New Auburn!
FMI Contact Leroy Walker 577-2694 • email: dmusicman5060@yahoo.com The penguin is the only bird that can swim, but not fly. It is also the only bird that walks upright.
Out & About on the Songo River Queen in Naples Photos by Sue Bonior They’ve got us surrounded!
After laying the captain's body to rest, the first mate led the entire crew back to the ship and into the captain's quarters. He opened the safe, got the envelope and read the words aloud to an astonished crew: 'Port: Left, Starboard: Right.' Uncle Andyʼs Camping Experience: It's entirely possible to spend your whole vacation on a winding mountain road behind a large motor home. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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A little known fact is that the original Songo River Queen met its tragic demise in October, 1981 when she completely burned at dock down to the water line.
The SONGO RIVER QUEEN II was christened on May 29,1982 and was a larger version of the 65 foot SONGO RIVER QUEEN I. Her replacement tapes out at 93 feet long, has a 23 foot beam, and tops the scales at just under 100 tons. The SONGO RIVER QUEEN II has been in continuous operation for 28 consecutive years. Her season runs from Mother's Day to Halloween and the scenery is constantly changing from season to season.
The average snail moves at a rate of approximately 0.000362005 miles per hour.
Murphy's Laws of Law Enforcement: No one's idea is a good idea until it becomes the Chief's idea.
Miami Mike
NUTS Originating in the Mediterranean and now grown in California, pistachio nuts, grown from a tree which can take up to 20 years to reach full production, can be found within the fruit bearing leaves and are noted to rarely be the color red as we traditionally see in our grocery and food markets today. On February 24, 1821, Mexico confirmed its independence from Spain. Known as Flag Day, the Plan de Iguala document was signed in which Mexico was proclaimed as an independent country. LAST POST The title of music played at military burials is called the Last Post.
Murphy's Laws of Law Enforcement: New uniforms and ties attract catsup and gravy.
Good day Digesters! I have great news; your own Uncle Andy’s Digester Miami Mike, is the 2010 Florida 17+ Rookie BMX Champion! I am now currently training for the National Championship in September. If this tantalizes your taste buds, for a bit of fun and excitement check out www.nbl.org or give a jingle to Diane Morris at (207) 3638557 for more information. OK now, I know what you are thinking “estas loco?” If you are contemplating why would Miami Mike, as old and past his glory days as he is, chance getting hurt on a bike? I can’t help you with an answer on that one – I have no clue myself. If you should get onto a BMX track yourself and happen to encounter even the slightest medical issue you have the availability of one of the most superior health care facilities at St. Mary’s Health System. Trust me, I have had more than one predicament which left me under their superb care. They may have even given me a “My Little Pony” bandage, but I can’t recall. Now I optimistically leave you in hopes I have sparked a two-wheeled interest. However, if the wind in your receding hairline sounds great as long as you don’t have to pedal, then scuttle over to L-A Harley Davidson in Lewiston. They not only have the sharpest looking hogs on two wheels, but they also have the most exquisite deals. Tell them Miami Mike from Uncle Andy’s Digest sent you, and they are sure to say “Who the heck is that?” Until next month Digesters, remember, Uncle Andy’s Digest is a state of mind. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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"You can teach a student a lesson for a day; but if you can teach him to learn by creating curiosity, he will continue the learning process as long as he lives."
Murphy's Laws of Law Enforcement: The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Also the harder they punch, kick and choke.
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Juan Ponce de Leon, a Spanish explorer, sighted Florida in 1513. He named the land Pascua Florida, which means "flowery Easter." "Take chances, make mistakes. That's how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave."
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Uncle Sam During the War of 1812 Samuel Wilson, a butcher in Troy, New York, shipped pork to the Army in kegs stamped "U.S." People called him Uncle Sam. Samuel Wilson did not look like the man we think of as Uncle
Sam. The man who posed for the original paintings of "Uncle Sam" was really Dan Rice, a professional clown. He owned a pet pig and worked for what later became the Barnum and Bailey Circus, then went on to found his own circus. He ran for the American presidency as a Republican and lost.
-- Mary Tyler Moore US Astronaut Eugene Cernan is the last person to set foot on the moon - December 1972. Titan, Saturn's moon, was discovered by the Dutch scientist Christian Huygens on March 25, 1655, and was the first moon to be found with the aid of a telescope after the four Galilean satellites of Jupiter.
"That you may retain your self-respect, it is better to displease the people by doing what you know is right, than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong." – William J.H. Boetcker
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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Treat your Dad for Father’s Day All month and feel better. $30/30 minutes $60/60 minutes $90/90 minutes Tuesday thru saturday gift certificates available
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Murphy's Laws of Law Enforcement: Pens never leak onto old uniform shirts.
Murphy's Laws of Law Enforcement: You will never get the urge to use the bathroom until you have left the station.
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Two cannibals sitting around a fire, one looks at the other and says, "God! I hate my mother in-law..." The other says, "Try the potatoes." Submitted by Tom Hill Uncle Andy was told by payroll that they're going to start garnishing his paycheck. “It seems pretty silly, but I guess if they want to start tossing some parsley and currants into the envelope every week, it's okay with me,” stated Uncle Andy. A jeweler standing behind the counter of his shop after hours was astounded to see a suspicious looking man come hurling headfirst through the window.
in your new pool! Your kids will always have “Something to do” on those hot summer days. And because your ABC Pool is virtually maintenance free you’ll enjoy it even more. We offer a full line of above-ground pools with a price that’s right for any budget.
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"What on earth are you up to? What just happened?" he demanded. "I'm terribly sorry," said the man, "I forgot to let go of the brick." The first phone booths were in a building in Connecticut. An attendant stood near to take the money. "An idea can turn to dust or magic, depending on the talent that rubs against it." -- Bill Bernbach
Murphy's Laws of Law Enforcement: Surprise inspections will only occur after you have been in a foot pursuit through mud.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Kitchen Tips
REAL ESTATE • HOME IMPROVEMENT GUIDE
Martha Stewartʼs way: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks. Uncle Andyʼs way: Celery? Never heard of the stuff.
Famous Firsts In 1848, Niagara Falls was silenced for the first and only time in recorded history when strong winds created an ice dam at the mouth of Lake Erie, thus stopping the flow of water through the falls. Normal water flow resumed a day later. In class, the teacher was trying desperately to get the students to think. He asked, “If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?” One student quickly responded, “Their age.” "Look not mournfully into the past, it comes not back again. Wisely improve the present, it is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future without fear and with a manly heart." -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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The average life span of a mosquito is two weeks.
Mark Turcotte photo
SCARECROW PROJECT Jenna, a fourth-grade student at Martel Elementary School in Lewiston poses with her Maine Studies project, a scarecrow of Patrick Dempsey riding a bicycle. The annual project, facilitated by fourth-grade teachers Sharon Pattershall and Andrea Bail, encourages students to create a scarecrow of a famous Mainer accompanied by a one page biography. After choosing their subject, students are given one month to complete the project. With the help of her family, Jenna completed the project in one night. She chose Patrick Dempsey because of his involvement with the Dempsey Challenge.
The average lead pencil will draw a line 35 miles long or write approximately 50,000 English words.
The average capacity of a pelican's pouch is 12 quarts.
Always Be Remembered
Janice Thabbour Janice died unexpectedly on May 13 of a heart attack. She will be greatly missed by all who knew her and is especially missed by her brother, Jeff Ekstrand.
“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.” – Mark Twain What "Guy" Phrases Really Mean: "Take a break, honey, you're working too hard" really means... "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner." What "Guy" Phrases Really Mean: "We're going to be late" really means... "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac." It takes a lobster approximately 7 years to grow to be one pound.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Strange Lawsuits Inmates at a county jail sued for cruel and unusual living conditions: bunk beds, cells lacking a sink and toilet, and no way to exercise in the winter. These criminals were awarded $2 million dollars, paid by the taxpayers of Massachusetts. Each inmate who was a party to the suit got $10 tax-free, for each day he was jailed. Their award included damages plus 12% interest from the time the case was settled until the time they collected their windfall.
Uranus is the only planet that rotates on its side.
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New York was the last state, in 1984, to put photographs on driver's licenses.
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G.A. DOWNING CO., INC. 111 Woodman Hill RD Minot, ME 04258 207.782.4508 800.924.4500 Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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We carry risers, covers, baffle replacements, septic additives.
There is only one Q in a Scrabble game.
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Happy Father’s Day A wooden tennis racket was last used at Wimbledon in 1987.
On December 18th, 1865, the 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, abolishing slavery, was declared in effect.
The Virginia opossum is the only marsupial (pouched mammal) indigenous to North America.
Holly’s Heating Oil Now serving Lewiston/Auburn! Mention this ad and receive
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The last dodo bird on earth died in 1681.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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REAL ESTATE • HOME IMPROVEMENT GUIDE Helping Central Maine with all its electrical needs
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Free estimates Fully Insured 14 years experience
& Jimbo
JUNE 2010
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The Neanderthal's brain was bigger than yours is.
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If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life, and when it comes, hold your head high. Look it squarely in the eye, and say, "I will be bigger than you. You cannot defeat me." – Ann Landers
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"Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact." – George Eliot
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In 1996, Sgt. Heather Johnsen of the 3rd U.S. Infantry became the first woman to guard the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier at Arlington National Cemetery. To earn the badge, one must be a soldier with an unblemished military record, stand at least 5-foot-10, know cemetery history and be able to scramble into dress blues in three minutes flat.
The only active diamond mine in the United States is in Arkansas.
"Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for 'tis better to be alone than in bad company." – George Washington In 1883, Susan Hayhurst became the first woman to become a certified pharmacist when she graduated from Philadelphia College of Pharmacy. In the early history of America, the shad ascended up the Hudson River on March 11th with such clockwork regularity that the Dutch colonists called the shad "elft" (eleven fish). In other places, the shad would ascend to spawn as late as May. Elvis Presley made only one television commercial - an ad for "Southern Maid Doughnuts" that ran in 1954. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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The Joshua tree is the only tree that grows in California's Mojave Desert.
Libra, the Scales, is the only inanimate symbol in the zodiac.
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We can never live in the past as if it were our true home. And it is a good thing that God draws this veil over the past even without our asking. In so doing, He allows us to live today for tomorrow with just the few memories we need of what was. - Karl Barth "There are countless ways of achieving greatness, but any road to achieving one's maximum potential must be built on a bedrock of respect for the individual, a commitment to excellence, and a rejection of mediocrity." -- Buck Rodgers
James Buchanan was the only US president never to be married.
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Grover Cleveland is the only US president to have been married in the White House.
You can always become better. – Tiger Woods Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Dog Rules VISITORS: Quickly determine which guest is afraid of dogs. Charge across the room, barking loudly and leap playfully on this person. If the human falls down on the floor and starts crying, lick its face and growl gently to show your concern.
Dog Rules GOING FOR WALKS: When out for a walk with your master or mistress, never go to the bathroom on your own lawn.
Baskin Robbins once made ketchup ice cream. This was the only vegetable flavored ice cream produced.
Trash & Garbage • Furniture & Appliances • Construction & Demolition Debris Boilers & Scrap Metal • Brush & Trees • Buildings Demolished & Removed
Summer is a great time to clean out attics, cellars & garages! Over 10 years making unwanted stuff go away!!
Dog Rules
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THE ART OF SNIFFING: Humans like to be sniffed. Everywhere. It is your duty, as the family dog, to accommodate them.
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So far today, Lord, I've done all right; I haven't gossiped, haven't lost my temper, haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or overindulgent.
Farrell Enterprises
I am thankful for that, Lord. In a few moments, Lord, the alarm will ring and I am going to get out of bed. From that point on, I am probably going to need your help. Amen. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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Geez, Dad is always on the phone!
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The last Andy Griffith Show was televised on September 16, 1968.
The Beatles last concert was at Candlestick Park, San Francisco, on August 29, 1966. The last song they played was "Long Tall Sally."
Strange Lawsuits A minister and his wife sued a guide-dog school for $160,000 after a blind man learning to use a seeing-eye dog trod on the woman's toes in a shopping mall. South-eastern Guide Dogs Inc., a 13-year old guide-dog school and the only one of its kind in the Southeast, raises and trains seeing-eye dogs at no cost to the visually impaired. The school is located about 35 miles south of Tampa. The lawsuit was brought by Carolyn Christian and her husband, the Rev. William Christian. Each sought $80,000. The couple filed suit 13 months after Ms. Christian's toe was stepped on and reportedly broken by a blind man who was learning to use his new guide dog, Freddy, under the supervision of an instructor. They were practicing at a shopping mall. According to witnesses, Ms Christian made no effort to get out of the blind man's way because she "wanted to see if the dog would walk around me".
One of the basic equations of physics is e = hv, where v is the Greek letter 'nu' (pronounced new). This can be written v = e/h. If one physicist were to ask another, "What's new?" the other might answer, "e/h." The Beatles recorded their last song together, "I Me Mine," in 1970.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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867 Center Street, Auburn Adam Raymond, Owner Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
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& Jimbo
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753-0033 753-0033 The Grateful Dead gave their last concert with leader Jerry Garcia at Chicago's Soldier Field in 1995. Jerry died a month later of a heart attack while in drug rehab.