Uncle Andy's Digest - March 2013

UNCLE ANDY’S DIGEST THE MOST UNUSUAL DIGEST IN AMERICA

Armandsab@aol.com

.com

FREE MARCH 2013

Kevin M. Connelly, D.M.D. 1065 Lisbon Street, Lewiston 376-4977

Now Accepting New Patients See page 8 FMI

Voted best New Restaurant

by Market Surveys of America

Japanese Cuisine Hibachi • Sushi • Japanese Cuisine Late Night lounge 40 East Ave., Lewiston • 795-6888 www.sea40me.com

A potato has more chromosomes than a human being.

MODERN WOODMEN OF AMERICA MARCH 2013 Sunday, March 3rd Basketball Red Claws vs Erie BayHawks 1 pm (Chapter 14346) Portland Expo $7.50 Person Wednesday, March 6th Chick-a-Dee 4pm – 7pm (Chapter 8609) 1472 Lisbon Street, Lewiston $8 Member $8.50 Guest Saturday, March 9th Flagship Cinemas (Chapter 12749) Lewiston/Auburn $4 Member $5.50 Guest Friday, March 15th VFW 1603 – Corn Beef & Cabbage Dinner 5pm – 6:30pm (Chapter 14437) 588 Minot Ave. Auburn $6 Member Tuesday, March 19th Luiggi’s 4pm – 7pm (Chapter 12907) 67 Sabattus St., Lewiston $4.50 Member $5 Guest Tuesday, March 26th Roy’s Breakfast 7am – 10am (Chapter 8609) 5 Washington St. Auburn $2 Member $2.50 Guest Wednesday, March 27th Village Pizzeria Restaurant 11:30am – 1pm (Chapter 10929) 16 Pleasant St., Mechanic Falls $5 Member $6 Guest Portland Pirates Flex Tickets Available - $8 per Tix Sunday April 21st Bruins vs. Panthers $123 per Tix Bus Leaves Exit 80 @ 7am

Super mario has a mustache because he was too small to draw a mouth on when he was created.

TICKETS ARE LIMITED – NO RETURNS & NO REFUNDS ALLOWED Prices, Dates and Menu are subject to change. If additional info is needed, please call our office, please do not call restaurants. All activities can only be attended at the times listed. ************************* Tickets need to be purchased at the Modern Woodmen District Office, 184 Webster Street, Lewiston for all activities and can only be picked up the week prior to the activity, Monday – Thursday 9am - 4pm & Friday 9am - Noon (excluding Holidays). Call 782-1833.

Uncle Andy’s Digest MAILING ADDRESS: PO Box 3363 Auburn, ME 04212 E-MAIL: editor@UncleAndys.com PHONE: 207 783-7039 FAX: 207 777-3898

Loneliness, sadness, laughter and yawning are all contagious.

QUALITY CUSTOM DENTURE WORK Affordable Dentures

www.UncleAndys.com

Poorly fitting or broken dentures repaired on-site, usually same-day service!

MARCH 2013 Staff

FREE CONSULTATIONS

JIMBO Spring Training

TRAVIS

Mike & Joe Adkins, licensed denturists

Most Dental Insurances Accepted • We also accept Credit & Debit Cards

SMILE AGAIN DENTURES 801 Webster Street, Lewiston

#hashtag

514-0660

UNCLE ANDY Like • Comment • Share

www.smileagaindentures.com See us for: • Full Dentures • Immediate Dentures

MAGGIE

• Rebases • Relines • Repairs

Bridging the Gap

MARTY Schoonerite

Hugging someone for 20 seconds triggers a chemical reaction in the human body that causes two people to trust each other more.

ANGIE Wedding Planner Our crews work very hard to keep the streets and sidewalks clear.

TOM Has the Force

Uncle Andy’s Digest is published by the first Friday of every month by Maine Mountain Ocean Group, Inc. with offices at 9 Grove Street, Auburn, ME. It is distributed free throughout Central Maine and mailed to subscribers all over the world. Subscriptions are $30/year. Send a $30 check made out to Uncle Andy’s Digest to: P.O. Box 3363, Auburn, ME 04212 While Uncle Andy’s Digest tries very hard to ensure the accuracy of the information in our client’s advertisements and our publication in general, we are not responsible for vendor availability, typographical errors, technical inaccuracies, product pricing errors, or omissions.

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo

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walk Side ero rH Supe Jimbo said I may have to do an autograph session after this makes it into print...

Sometimes working 16 hour shifts to make it all happen. My hat is off (well, not literally) to these guys!

Walter Reynolds & Gary O’Connell Auburn Public Works

This Month in History - March: Yellowstone becomes the U.S.'s first national park.

(1872)

HOWDY DOODY had 48 freckles on his face, one for each state--at that time.

Amazing Photography

William Shatner (of Star Trek fame) played the short-lived role of Ranger Bob in 1954 on Howdy Doody.

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo

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Q: How can you tell an Irishman is having fun? (answer below)

YOUR PHOTOS.

GET THEM. FEATURED

HERE! h pix wit ! s e nam

editor@ UncleAndys.com or private message them on our facebook page.

facebook.com/ UncleAndysDigest Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo

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A: Because he’s Dublin over with laughter! (submitted by Travis Dow)

The average temperature on the surface of the sun is 5,778 Kelvin.

We’re a local business, family owned & operated for over 10 years.

Out ’n About at Central Maine Archery

We offer archery lessons, lanes, rentals, sales, service, & custom strings.

Roland, Maurice, Dave E, Dave W, & Allen are the members of our Old Timers’ Club. They are a reliable crew for daily comic relief, problem solving, and expertise in areas ranging from plumbing, electrical, carpentry, engineering, and of course, archery.

Handguns Rifles Shotguns Ammo

213 Washington St. • Auburn • 783-3060 centralmainearchery.com

Brooklyn gets creative with some cranial art

Looking good!

Club Direct, a travel insurance company in Britain, provides insurance plans for protection from falling coconuts.

Emma shooting at 6 yrs old

Ringer’s Club

A toothpick is the object most often choked on by Americans.

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo

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Hissing

Marshmallows can soothe a sore throat.

Submitted by Richard Collins

Once upon a time there was a family of snakes who lived in a pit. All day long, the little snakes would crawl around hissing in the pit. Hiss, hiss, hiss.

One day, feeling adventurous, a little snake crawled out of the pit and into the pit of Mr. Hitt. He was having a great time hissing in Mrs. Hitt’s pit until Mrs. Hitt saw him and, quite unneighborly, told him to go hiss in his own pit. When he got back to his own pit, he was crying, and he told his mother what had happened.

She got really mad and said, "Oh, that snooty Mrs. Hitt. I can remember when she didn’t have a pit to hiss in."

Escort Submitted by Richard Collins

Lyndon Johnson walked out of the White House for the short helicopter ride to Andrews Air Force Base and Air Force 1. There were three helicopters on the White House lawn; one for the president and two escorts. The president started walking toward one of the escorts.

The marine beside him said, "Sir, that’s not your helicopter."

Johnson looked at him and said, "Son, they’re all my helicopters."

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo

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Comprehensive Family Dental Care in a relaxing, comfortable atmosphere

New Patients Always Welcome

Kevin M. Connelly, D.M.D. 1065 Lisbon Street, Lewiston (lower level)

376-4977 Same Day Financing Options Emergency Care Available www.kevinconnellydmd.com The most push-ups ever performed by one person in one day was 46,001.

CELEBRATING OUR ANNIVERSARY All month!

It might be cold outside...

Dad’s HOT March specials are sure to warm you up!

Larry & Diana in 2003

Your Choice Giant 1-topping pizza or 2 Large Boghooters or 3 Large Italians (Ham, Pepperoni, Veggie or Salami)

or 2 Small Appetizers Larry & Diana in 2012

(Breaded Mushrooms, Broccoli & Cheese, Jalapeno Poppers or Mozzarella Sticks)

$

10

FREE CO FRIDA FFEE Y! Free 2 0

o with p z. coffee urcha se of Break fast S andwic every Friday h in Ma rch!

There’s NO PLACE like...

Dad’s Place 23 Pleasant Street, Mechanic Falls • 345-5551 • DadsPlace.info

L/A’S NEWEST HOTSPOT FOR WEEKEND ENTERTAINMENT MARCH BAND SCHEDULE

Happy Hour Mon-Fri 2-7pm Featured salon in American Salon Magazine “Big Fish, Small Pond” Blush Beauty Boutique, Paul Mitchell Focus Salon, was featured in the February edition of American Salon Magazine. Blush Opened in August of 2012 and is coowned by Elizabeth Betsch and Ashley Alexander.

American Salon Magazine has over 100,000 subscribers and for 135 years has been considered a standard for salon owners, managers and beauty professionals.

The article “Big Fish, Small Pond” highlights salons offering a highend beauty experience conveniently located in their small town. Blush was nominated by a regional Paul Mitchell educator for the Focus Salon spot after seeing the newly renovated space on Canal Street.

Owners Liz and Ashley have embraced downtown Lewiston as the home to their dream salon and are proud to be part of the revitalization of the historic district.

“We are excited to bring additional positive attention to downtown Lewiston.” – Alexander and Betsch See their ad on page __.

The diameter of the sun is 865,000 miles.

Uncle Andy’s Digest

...with s & Travi Jimbo

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ST. PATTY’S DAY Tues.

Open Mic Fri. Ladies Night Sun. Sports

Sun. 17th Live music: Last Call & Chad Porter

Veggies by Day . . . . . . . .Sat. 2nd Chad Porter . . . . . . . . . . . .Fri. 8th Brookside Blues Bank . .Sat. 9th Veggies by Day . . . . . . . .Fri. 15th Veayo Twins . . . . . . . . . Sat. 23rd Chad Porter. . . . . . . . . . . Fri. 29th Veayo Twins . . . . . . . . . Sat. 30th

Weekends: LIVE ENTERTAINMENT

Bean Suppa h Every Saturd Large “And ay y’s Baked Bean ” special

47 Broad Street, New Auburn • 376-4959

$

7.50

thefirehousegrille.biz

NO ORDER TOO SMALL And no minimum purchases! Call us for a FREE quote!!

Textile & Paper Wipes

• Sorbents & Safety Supplies • Janitorial Supplies & Can Liners • Breakroom & Food Service • Chemicals & Cleaners • Packaging • Skin Care • And More!

Towels, Tissues & Dispensers

NEXT DAY DELIVERY IN L/A! 120 Mill St., Auburn • 784-5779 or 1-800-439-WIPE • GoodmanWiper.com

Roller Skating = Family Fun Skate Schedule

12 Riverside Drive, Auburn • 777-3940

www.rollodrome.com

Thursday Night

Ages 20+ 7:30-10pm

Friday Night

All Skating 7:30 - 10:00

Sat. & Sun.

1:30 - 4:00pm

Saturday Night

Family Night 7:30 - 10pm

Sunday Night

All SK8 • 7:30 - 10pm

Find us on Facebook Dan Larrivee & Rachel Potvin, Owner/Operators

UAD Pet Photo Contest

Four out of 10 workplace dating relationships result in marriage.

TROPICAL HARMONY

Come here for your St. Patty’s Day beer & wine!

All your salt water tank needs right here!

Marine Fish • Coral • Supplies 272 South Main St. Auburn • www.deepseacreations.com • 1-888-782-4372 • 782-4372

Out ’n About at Luiggi’s

We ran this contest on our Facebook page where fans entered their favorite pet photo.

People then voted for their favorite pet. Here’s the top 5...

#1 w/ 397 votes

Yota wants bacon, Bacon, BACON!

You can't make MEATballs without T-E-A-M

Submitted by Jackie Rybeck, who won a $50 gift card to Jasmine Cafe in Auburn

(front to back):

Tammy Truman, Lisa Dorrington, Louis Corriveau & Terry Roy

#2 w/ 318 votes

Ginger found her spot on the new couch!

Submitted by Pat Malcuit

: U O Y G N I T PROTEC hat We Do. Is W

#3 w/ 112 votes

232 Center St., Auburn

786-0417 VarneyAgency.com Mon.-Fri. 8am-4:30pm

commercial

home

auto

recreational

umbrella

life

Johnny Depp and Queen Elizabeth are 20th cousins.

health

Babbs & Holly at tea time in the garden Submitted by Jane Bernier

Looking to maximize social media for your business? Uncle Andy’s Digest has the answer...

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo

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UAD Pet Photo Contest

Modern Olympic gold medals actually contain only 1.34% gold.

We ran this contest on our Facebook page where fans entered their favorite pet photo.

People then voted for their favorite pet. Here’s the top 5...

YOUR TACTICAL WEAPON HEADQUARTERS SIGHTS, SCOPES & LASERS, GRIPS & MORE AMMO OF ALL TYPES, CALIBERS & QUANTITIES

#4 w/ 107 votes

Molly waits for Santa Submitted by Peggy Fisher

AK’s & AR15 RIFLES

PISTOLS & SHOTGUNS

Rt. 4 in Turner • Just past Twitchell’s Airport • 225-3432 • www.G3Firearms.com

In French, cotton candy is called "Barbe á papa," literally meaning "dad's beard." #5 w/ 83 votes

Bailey loves the ocean!

Submitted by Beth Bryant

Math Fun

Luck ‘o the Irish is available at Ann’s Flowers!

We found your pot ‘o gold, too.

Step 1: Think of a number between 1-10.

Step 2: Double that number.

Step 3: Add 6 to it.

Step 4: Divide that number in half.

Step 5: Subtract your starting number from the answer in step four.

Ann’s Flowers

The answer will always be 3.

annsflower.com

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis

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& Jimbo

MARCH 2013 783-7039

We now offer Maine Gourmet Chocolate in our store!

14 Millett Drive, Auburn 782-3457

This Month in History - March: Texas declared its independence from Mexico (1836).

Better known as the original Captain Kangaroo, Bob Keeshan was also the original Clarabell the Clown on the Howdy Doody TV show (1947 - 1952).

WOW!

The Irony

Don’t spend $18 at the beauty salon, get your...

Mens & Boys CUTS for

$

All day – Every day! Walk-ins welcome.

12

Flat Tops - Fades - Mohawks - Mens & Boys Regular Cuts

Marcel’s Barber Shop

March 2013

54 Mill Street, New Auburn

783-3444 OPEN: Tues-Fri 7:30am - 5:30pm; Sat 7:30am - 2pm

St. Patty’s Day Party Saturday, March 16th, 4pm Boiled dinner and all the fixins • DJ later on

New Auburn Social Club 7 Second Street, Auburn 782-9039

Easter Dinner

Sunday, March 31st Call for details

***Membership dues in by March 31st

• Fresh Fried Baskets Shrimp, Haddock, Scallops, Clams includes French Fries, Coleslaw & Dinner Roll

• Fish Chowders • Lobster Stew • Clam & Seafood Chowders

Everything we do here is made fresh and homemade!

“If we were any fresher you’d have to slap us!”

We ship anywhere in the US

22 Mill St., New Auburn • 782-3150 • Open daily 9am-6pm

Time may be a great healer but it's also a lousy beautician.

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo

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UAD Pet Photo Contest

Favorite Irish Sayings: May the road rise up to meet you.

We ran this contest on our Facebook page where fans entered their favorite pet photo.

Here’s some of the cutest entries.

Maine’s Largest Truck Cap & Tonneau Cover Dealer MARCH SPECIAL Du-Ha Box

Rufus, a Black Mottled Bantam Cochin.

Submitted by Joan Fullerton

$

169

.95

when you mention this ad

Dan & Holly

expires 3.31.13

933-2493 980 Pond Rd. • Wales

Max, the bat dog

The 1st US Minimum Wage Law was instituted in 1938.

The minimum wage was 25 cents per hour.

Submitted by Haley Black

Did You Know?

Charlie Gump Submitted by Haley Black

Amazing Photography

The two hemispheres of a dolphin's brain work independently.

For 8 hours, the entire brain is awake. The left side then sleeps for 8 hours. When it wakes up, the right side sleeps for 8 hours.

Thus, the dolphin gets 8 hours of sleep without ever having to stop physically.

There are 10 types of people in the world; those that understand binary, and those that don't.

Tazah Submitted by Jen Halsey Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo

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The first coin minted in the United States was a silver dollar. It was issued on October 15, 1794.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crĂŞpes.

New Recruit Submitted by Jimbo

As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had just signed up at an army recruiter's office.

There were audible gasps around the table, then some laughter, as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could handle this new situation.

"Oh, come on, quit joking," snickered one.

"You didn't really do that, did you?"

"You would never get through basic training," scoffed another.

The new recruit looked to his mother for help, but she was just gazing at him.

When she finally spoke, she simply asked, "Do you really plan to make your own bed every morning?"

Route 66 In 1926, Route 66 was commissioned as the first continuous highway from the Midwest to California. Route 66 crosses 8 states and 3 time zones. The states it runs through are: Illinois, Missouri, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, and California.

Favorite Irish Sayings: Top of the mornin' to you.....(and the rest of the day to 'me self!)

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo

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UAD Pet Photo Contest We ran this contest on our Facebook page where fans entered their favorite pet photo.

Here’s some of the cutest entries.

Buddy Submitted by Cindy Hagar

“There may be more to learn from climbing the same mountain a hundred times than by climbing a hundred different mountains.” – Richard Nelson

Complete, comprehensive dentistry for ages 3 to 103

New Patients Always Welcome Preventative dentistry cleanings and fillings

Kimber Submitted by Nicholas Meier

Cosmetic dentistry whitening, bridges, crowns, implants & more We accept most insurances Financing available

TAYLOR BROOK Maiko & Leala Submitted by Maranda Chase

DENTAL ASSOCIATES

OUR LOCATION: 27 MILLETT DRIVE, AUBURN, ME 04210

We accept Northeast Delta Dental, State of Maine & Cigna Insurances

(207)784-1577

Submitted by Shelly West

TAYLORBROOKDENTAL.COM

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis

The first country to abolish capital punishment was Austria in 1787.

Rocky

& Jimbo

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The dollar was established as the official currency of the US in 1785.

Low Rates Fast Approvals Extended Terms

Call Us Today!

Kutters Korner Grows Again

Hop on into one of our branches this month for a great auto loan!

Camille Cloutier

Great Falls Federal Credit Union 34 Bates Street, Lewiston • 782-7192 • 760 Minot Ave, Auburn • 753-0500 *Restrictions & qualification apply

GreatFallsfcu.com The 1st US federal penitentiary building was completed at Leavenworth, Kansas in 1906.

Kutters Korner would like to welcome Camille Cloutier as a member to their professional team. Camille has been working in the field of cosmetology for four years. She graduated from Spa Tech Institute in Portland in 2009.

Camille has spent the past three years working with highly trained stylists at Orbit Hairstyling in Lewiston. She specializes in color design and cutting for men, women and children, as well as waxing and styling for special occasions.

Cloutier is certified in Pravana, TIGI, and Paul Mitchell color lines and enjoys transforming any head of hair to fabulous. She has participated in many different hair cutting and coloring technique classes and attended the International Beauty Show in New York City in 2011 where she watched some of the greatest hair stylists teach their skills.

Camille has extensive product knowledge and provides solutions to all your hair needs. Camille welcomes all her new and existing clients to visit her at Kutters Korner at 14 Highland Spring Road in Lewiston or call 786-4311 and book your appointment today!

See their ad on page 69.

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo

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The Seven Wonders of the ancient world were: 1. Egyptian Pyramids at Giza 2. Hanging Gardens of Babylon 3. Statue of Zeus at Olympia 4. Colossus of Rhodes, a huge bronze statue near the Harbor of Rhodes that honored the sun god, Helios 5. Temple of Artemis at Ephesus 6. Mausoleum at Halicarnassus 7. Lighthouse at Alexandria.

Favorite Irish Sayings: May the wind be always at your back.

Mike Morin’s

Auto Center “A proud member of the Napa Auto Care Team.”

VOTED BEST OF THE BEST 13 YEARS RUNNING (Market Surveys of America)

FRONT END ALIGNMENT

OIL CHANGE

$75.95

Happy St. Patty’s Day!

Most Vehicles

We can’t serve green beer but we do have FREE Green Mountain coffee while you wait!

$24.95

Up to 5 qts. Most Vehicles (Not including Diesels or Heavy Trucks)

1122 Center St., Auburn • 753-0433 www.autorepairsauburnmaine.com • Hours: Open Monday-Thursday 7-5pm • Friday 7-Noon

Riddle Me This?

Favorite Irish Sayings: May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain.

What starts with f and ends in ck?

Firetruck!

The peace symbol was created in 1958 as a nuclear disarmament symbol by the Direct Action Committee, and was first shown that year at peace marches in England. The symbol is a composite of the semaphore signals N and D, representing nuclear disarmament.

Grammie’s Cottage is a great place to get that perfect gift item...

Check out our ad on page 73 to learn more about what we offer at Grammie’s Cottage!

Julie Kasik & Sandi Wilson can be found at Grammie’s Cottage at Welchville in Oxford (intersection of Rt. 26 & 121) Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo

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Favorite Irish Sayings: May the rain fall softly upon your fields.

And the sun shine warm upon your face.

When released in China, the James Bond film From Russia with Love was retitled 007 Averted the Spy Plot.

UAD Pet Photo Contest

WE’VE GOT WHAT YOU WANT!

We ran this contest on our Facebook page where fans entered their favorite pet photo.

Here’s some of the cutest entries.

$8,250

$6,995

3rd Row, 129K

Auto, AWD, 89K, 2.7T

‘02 Audi Allroad

$8,995

‘05 Dodge Durango LuLu

$13,995

Submitted by Theresa Brousseau

Range Rover HSE, 115K

6-Speed 118K

‘05 Mini Cooper S

‘04 Land Rover Layla Amy

06 Audi A6, AWD,120K, Black, 3.2L. . . . . . . . . . . . . . $11,995 04 Audi A6, 97K, Gray, 2.7T, S-Line, AWD . . . . . . . . . . $9995 04 Audi A6, 3.0L, 126K, Black . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $6,995 02 Audi Allroad, Auto, AWD, 89K, Green, 2.7T . . . . . . $8,250 02 Audi A4, 1.8T, 5-Speed, 182K, Silver . . . . . . . . . . . $5,500 01 Audi A4, AWD, 5-Speed, 123K, Maroon. 1.8T . . . . $5,495 02 BMW 3 Series, AWD, 130K, Gray, 5-speed . . . . . . $6,995 94 Chevrolet K3500, 158K, Blue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $4,500 05 Dodge Durango, 3rd Row, 129K, Blue . . . . . . . . . . $6,995 04 Ford Ranger XLT, 136K, Green . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $7,995 06 GMC Sierra 2500, 4WD, 134K, Pewter . . . . . . . . $13,500 10 Harley Davidson Fat Boy, FLSTFB, 4K, Black . . . . $14,000 05 Jeep Liberty, Black, 4WD . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $6,495 04 Land Rover Range Rover HSE, 115K, Green . . . . $13,995 02 Lincoln Town Car, 90K, Silver . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $6,495 04 Mazda 3, 5-Speed, 114K, Gray . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $7,295 04 Mercedes-B M-Class, Blue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $10,495 03 Mercedes ML500, Black, AWD . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $8995 06 Nissan Altima 2.5S, Auto, 110k , Silver . . . . . . . . . $6,795 04 Nissan Xterra, Green, 4WD, 108K . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $7995 03 Oldsmobile Alero, 71K, Red . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5,795 03 Oldsmobile Alero GL2, 94K, Red. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $4,995

06 Saab 9-3, 2.0T, 115K, Silver . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $6,995 06 Saab 9-5, 2.3T, 123K, Silver . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $6,995 02 Saab 9-5, 2.3T, 109K, Black. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5,795 00 Saab 9-3 Convertible, 127K, Silver . . . . . . . . . . . . . $4,295 04 Saturn VUE, AWD, Silver . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $6995 04 Scion xA, 5-Speed, 126K, Black. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $6,295 06 VW Jetta, Silver, 2.5L, 5-speed . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $7995 06 VW Golf TDI, 112K, Gray, Diesel . . . . . . . . . . . . . $10,995 06 VW Passat 2.0T, 76K, Mocha. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $10,495 05 VW Passat GLX, 94K, Green. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $7,995 04 VW Jetta, Blue, 2.0L, Auto . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $6495 04 VW Jetta, Silver, Waggon, 2.0L . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5995 04 VW Golf, 2.0L, 120K, Black, 5-Speed . . . . . . . . . . . $5,995 04 VW Passat GLX, 105K, Black. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $6,995 03 VW Passat, 1.8T, 114K, Gray. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $6,295 03 VW Golf, Black, 2.0L . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5995 06 Volvo S60, 2.5T, AWD, 123K, Green . . . . . . . . . . . . $9,495 23’ Baja Outlaw Boat 2007, 496 Magnum, Loaded - $37,995

Submitted by Richard Carpenter

Coco Submitted by Caroline B.

Lukin

786-7744 1298 Sabattus St. & 1317 Sabattus St. • www.independentauto.me According to Greek mythology, the goddess of the rainbow was Iris.

Submitted by Taylor Smith

Lack of sleep leads to sugar cravings.

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo

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The Irony

At least fifteen million people are having a birthday today.

To view the complete inventory of 50 vehicles visit our website:

www.donovansauto.com Stop by, call or click today!

946-7515 • 1-800-811-8856 Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo

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This Month in History - March: Congress approves Daylight Savings Time. (1918)

The most expensive pizza in the world is the "Louis XIII" from Italy - it's topped with lobster and caviar and costs $12,000.

10% OFF with this ad

Complete Auto & Truck Repair • Front End Alignments • Engine Diagnostics • Custom Exhaust • Tires, Batteries

• Transmission Flush • State Inspections • Complete Front End Work • Tune-ups

35 Lewiston Rd. • Gray, ME 04039

Ron Moon, Manager

207-657-5000

Remote Heated Starters & Seats

Did You Know?

Alan Page, a member of the Pro Football Hall of Fame, and one of the Vikings famed Purple People Eaters, has been an Associate Justice of the Minnesota Supreme Court since 1993.

Submitted by Richard Collins

Matter of Fact Since 1933, the governors of Delaware have proclaimed December 7 as Delaware Day in honor of that day in 1787, when Delaware, one of the original 13 states, became the first state to ratify the Federal Constitution, thus making Delaware the first state in the New Nation.

Did You Know?

216 Center Street, Auburn Next to Republic Jewelry Parking in back of building

777-3339 www.soundeffectsmaine.com

ANY MAKE... ANY MODEL... ANY PROBLEM...

Call us today!

NO PROBLEM! • Appointments required, please call first • Fully warranteed & certified • $58/hr labor rate

Brad’s Precision Auto Brad Johnson

144 Riverside Dr., Auburn • 333-0364

This Month in History - March: Wilt Chamberlain of the Philadelphia Warriors scores 100 points in a basketball game. (1962)

When Abraham Lincoln lost an election to Stephen Douglas, he was asked how he felt.

He replied, "I’m like the boy from Kentucky who stubbed his toe. It hurts too much to laugh and I’m too old to cry."

Submitted by Richard Collins

For many years, the globe on the "NBC Nightly News" spun in the wrong direction. On January 2, 1984, NBC finally set the world spinning back in the proper direction.

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo

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This Month in History - March: The Star Spangled Banner becomes the National Anthem (1931)

UAD Pet Photo Contest

SPECIALS

‘04 CHEVY 2500 HD

We ran this contest on our Facebook page where fans entered their favorite pet photo.

Here’s some of the cutest entries.

‘05 CHEVY COLORADO ‘02 FORD MUSTANG

84K

ONLY 54K

8 ft. Fish

er plow

$

12,995

CREW 4X4 Z-71

78K

Submitted by Janis Goss

$

NEVER A DOC FEE!!

6,995 CARS

Gus & Emma

‘07 Ford Crown Vic Police Pkg, Blue, 115K . . . . . . . . . . . . . $4,995 ‘07 Ford Crown Vic Police Pkg, White, 103K. . . . . . . . . . . . $4,995 ‘07 Ford Taurus SE, Alloys, 82K . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5,995 ‘06 Pontiac Grand Prix SE, Loaded, 108K . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $6,995 ‘06 Volkswagen Jetta, Roof, Leather, 119k. . . . . . . . . . . . . . $7,995 ‘06 Hyundai Sonata, Loaded, One Owner . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5,995 ‘04 Toyota Camry LE, One Owner, 109K . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $7,995 ‘04 Chevy Monte Carlo SS, Leather, Only 78K . . . . . . . . . . . $6,995 ‘03 Honda Accord DX, 5-Speed, Loaded. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5,995 ‘02 Ford Mustang Convertible, Only 54K! LOADED . . . . . . . $7,995 ‘01 Buick Park Ave. Ultra, Only 75K . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5,995 ‘01 Toyota Camry LE, Loaded, One Owner . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5,995 ‘01 Pontiac Grand Prix GT, Loaded, One Owner . . . . . . . . . . $4,995 ‘00 VW Beetle, Diesel, Alloys, Loaded . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5,995

TRUCKS - SUVs PIP Submitted by

Christina Thibeault

More people have set foot on the moon than have been under sea below a depth of 240 meters (800 ft).

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo

22

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‘08 Toyota RAV 4 Limited, Loaded, 94K. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $14,995 ‘06 Chevy Colorado Crew 4X4, Loaded . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $11,995 ‘06 Ford Escape XLT, Loaded - SHARP. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $6,995 ‘05 Jeep Wrangler X, 6 Cyl., 6-Speed, 61K . . . . . . . . . . . . $13,995 ‘05 Toyota 4-Runner SR5, Loaded, 109K. . . . . . . . . . . . . . $12,995 ‘05 Ford F150 ST XCab 4C4, 1 Owner, 82K . . . . . . . . . . . $11,995 ‘05 Chevy Colorado Crew 4X4 Z-71. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $11,995 ‘05 Chrysler Pacifica AWD, Touring, 1 Owner . . . . . . . . . . . $7.995 ‘05 Ford Explorer XLT, 3rd Seat, 115K . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $6,995 ‘04 Chevy 2500 HD 4X4, Fisher Plow, 84K. . . . . . . . . . . . $12,995 ‘04 Chevy 2500 HD 4X4, 41K, 1 Owner . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $11,995 Established in 1984

‘02 TOYOTA TACOMA CREW 4X4

TRUCK RACKS

– PARTIAL LISTING –

Submitted by Derek Green

11,995 $7,995

Truck Caps

‘04 MONTE CARLO SS Misty Moon Pie

$

Jeff & Rick Roy

353-2538

$

12,995

NO FLOOR PLAN!

OFF ROAD PKG

NO OVERHEAD!

WE OWN ALL OUR INVENTORY THAT MEANS YOU SAVE!!!!

‘04 Honda Odyssey Van, Loaded, 1 Owner . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5,995 ‘03 Ford F-250 XLT XCab 4X4, 1 Owner, 79K . . . . . . . . . $10,995 ‘02 Toyota Tacoma Double Cab 4X4, Off Road . . . . . . . . . . $12,995 ‘02 Chevy Silverado, XCab, 1 Owner, 2WD . . . . . . . . . . . . . $3,995 ‘01 GMC Sonoma SLS XCab, 4X4, 57K . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $6,995 ‘01 Ford F250 XLT XCab 4X4 V-10, SHARP . . . . . . . . . . . . $6,995 ‘00 Chevy S-10 XCab 4X4 2R-2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5,995 ‘99 Ford F250 XCab 4X4, Lariat, Loaded!!. . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5,995 ‘90 Toyota Cab 4X4, Only 78K, MUST SEE . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5,995

Harley Davidsons ‘10 Street Bob, 1500 Miles, One Owner. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $9,250 ‘07 883L, Black, Xtras, 16K, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Only $4,950 ‘06 1200 Sportster, Extras, READY!! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5,950 ‘06 Road King Sport, Mint, 17K . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $13,500 ‘06 Streetglide, One Owner, N.O.S.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $15,000 ‘95 Fat Boy, Must See!! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $7,500

All come with new Inspection, 14-Day Plate and Warranty

If we don’t have it,we can get it!!

28 Soper Road, Durham

More Insurance Claims: "An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

Lightning strikes about 6,000 times per minute on this planet.

ALWAYS BE THE “FOLLOW ME” GUY

SHARE OUR PASSION

AMES SPORT SHOP 84 Littlefield Road Auburn

782-4917 (off Hotel Road & across from Merrow Road)

We Insure ALL Your WINTER TOYS 9 South Main St, Mechanic Falls (207) 345-8711 or 1-800-339-0414 www.CummingsAgency.com

Jeff & Nora Cummings Diane Morissette Leanne Cram

Call or stop in today for a FREE quote!

Happy Spring from all of us at

207-353-9862

We are celebrating our 25th year in business! Mention this ad and receive $10 OFF your next service or repair of $30 or more.

183 Lisbon St., Lisbon, ME 04350 Expires 3-31-13. Not to be combined with any other offers. www.qualitycareautorepair.com Only 1% of the population has a "genius" IQ of 140 or higher.

Just for Today... ... smile at a stranger ... listen to someone's heart ... drop a coin where a child can find it ... learn something new, then teach it to someone ... tell someone you're thinking of them ... hug a loved one ... don't hold a grudge ... don't be afraid to say, "I'm sorry" ... look a child in the eye and tell them how great they are ... don't kill that spider in your house, he's just lost so show him the way out ... look beyond the face of a person into their heart ... make a promise, and keep it ... call someone, for no other reason than to just say "Hi" ... show kindness to an animal ... stand up for what you believe in ... smell the rain, feel the breeze, listen to the wind ... use all your senses to their fullest ... cherish all your TODAYS – Author Unknown Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo

MARCH 2013 U NCLE A NDYS . COM

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Out ’n About at the Lewiston High School’s Senior Night for their Varsity Hockey team

This Month in History - March: Well known and loved Walter Cronkite signs off as anchorman off the CBS Evening News (1981)

MARCH M The Back Forty Used

Coach Chris Pomerleau & Jared Lapierre

Denis, Brendan & Debra Landry High School hockey has been great. I’m really gonna miss this. Thanks, Mom & Dad for everything!

Norm, Cam & Norma Marquis Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo

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A person who hides their pain behind a smile is called an “eccedentesiast.”

Yahoo! was originally called 'Jerry's Guide to the World Wide Web.'

MADNESS! d Car & Truck Center

Out ’n About at the Lewiston High School’s Senior Night for their Varsity Hockey team

Rick, Tanner & Angela Hubbard I don’t fear stopping a 100 mph slap shot. I fear not stopping it!

Diane, Brian & Gary Wigant I love that movie, Slap Shot!

Luke, Evan & Shirley Bourassa People read 10% slower from a screen than from a paper.

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo

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Frequent kissing has scientifically been proven to stabilize cardiovascular activity, decrease blood pressure and cholesterol.

$

FIND US ON FACEBOOK

Murray Oil & Gulf Electricity

5 OFF

Any Color Service

Twisted Scissors

bring you the power to save $$

9 Acadia Ave, Lewiston (off Lisbon St.)

312-5478

FMI go to www.murrayoil.com

Tues, Thurs, Fri. 9am-5pm • Wed. & Sat. 8am-noon

Cosmetologist Brittany Legare

Walk-ins welcome

In a 'lucid dream' you are aware that you are dreaming, which allows you to change the dream to be anything you want.

FOUR SEASON SERVICE

Downeast Sharpening Sales & Service of Outdoor Power Equipment Complete Sharpening Service Glen A. Gisel

7 Main St. (Junction of Rt. 302 & 121) Raymond

1525 Lisbon Street, Lewiston 783-6927 • 1-800-834-5706 Mon-Fri 7:30-5:30 • Sat. 8-4 MySelco.com

No Need for Chiseling or Building Up a Floor Base

DOLMAR

shindaiwa

655-4635

www.downeastsharpening.com

The S A N I PLUS is the answer for most toilet and bathroom situations.

It can be installed up to 15 feet below the sewer level and/or 150 feet away from a soil stack. The S A N I PLUS is simple to install, pumps away waste water from a toilet, hand basin, bathtub and shower, and is connected to a low consumption toilet.

Did you drive by your dream home?

HARRIS BROTHERS PO Box 2002 • Norway, Maine 04268

Call us!

No Separating Required!

S A N I PLUS

ADD A NEW BATHROOM FOR YOUR CELLAR

From Biddeford to Bangor... we can show you any listing you desire!

743-3891 HARRIS BROS.

Brian & Tracie Vye 207.577.7937

Legacy Realty 681 Sabattus St, Lewiston 207.376.4830 Brian-Tracie@Legacy-Realty.com

SERVING: NORWAY • WEST PARIS MINOT • MCFALLS • OXFORD

GOT HEAT?? FREE Winter Checkup With Ad

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo

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Roadies Chicken... it is good to go!

Free 16 oz. Soda with purchase of any 10” Fresh Dough Pizza* *

Sales tax & deposit not included

The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing their hands in jello.

Design Marvel

Cold water weighs more than hot water.

In 1965, three years after construction began, the Gateway Arch was completed in St. Louis, Missouri.

The arch, which is this nation's tallest monument, is as tall as it is wide. Designed by Finnish-born, American-educated architect Eero Saarinen, it was erected to commemorate President Thomas Jefferson's Louisiana Purchase of 1803 and to celebrate St. Louis' central role in the rapid westward expansion that followed.

Acupuncture - a point well taken.

Each year, the moon moves further away from Earth by 2 inches.

Out ’n About at the Lewiston High School’s Senior Night for the Varsity Hockey team

4:00 am practices, long drives, cold arenas... good times, huh Mom & Dad?

Freddie, Bryan & Donna Hall A 23-year-old man from Nebraska legally changed his name to "Tyrannosaurus Rex."

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo

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Out ’n About ice fishing on Sebago Lake in Windham

It takes an average of 364 licks to get to the tootsie roll center of a Tootsie Pop.

2005 Subaru WRX

2007 Subaru Outback 2.5si

$11,950 Traps all baited and set at 8am

$11,950

Blue, 6 Disc CD, Alloy Wheels, Rear Spoiler, Heated Seats

Silver, Auto., Premium Sound, MP3, CD, Alloy Wheels

2005 Subaru Outback LL Bean

2007 Subaru Legacy Special “B”

$11,950

$14,450

6-Cyl. Automatic, Gold, Moonroof, Heated Seats, 6-CD, Alloys

Charcoal Grey, 6-CD, MP3, Power Moonroof

2002 Subaru Impreza 2.5 RS

2006 Subaru Outback 2.5i

Traps at 4:00pm

Well, like they say, a bad day of fishing is better than most anything else...

$9,950

$7,450 Silver, Premium Sound, CD, Alloy Wheels, ABS, Power Locks

AWD, 122K, White, Auto., Pwr. Doors/Windows, ABS

2008 Toyota Tacoma

All Subarus Come With:

$22,950

• 12-month/12,000 miles Warranty on all Head Gasket Issues • Vehicles fully serviced and maintained in-house • In-house direct lending available

Access Cab 4X4, Truck Cap, 54K, Silver, V6, CD, Premium Sound

Jerry & Nancy Shaw In Finland, the cost of a speeding ticket is determined by the driver's annual income.

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo

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www.rjbandson.com This Month in History - March: The Constitution of the United States of America goes into effect. (1789)

This Month in History - March: Alexander Graham Bell patents the Telephone. (1876)

DON’S NO PREFERENCE TOWING CO. of L/A

39

CELEBRATING

YEARS

of helping people in trouble!

784-4619

CALL US IF YOU ARE BROKEN DOWN We now offer Roadside Assistance, such as tire changes and lockouts. We carry new Interstate batteries, an air compressor, and tools to help fix small problems.

CELEBRATING Don’s DBA...

YEARS 5 7

The three phases of love: 1. XOXO 2. XXX 3. EX

Math Fun Step 1: Think of any number.

Step 2: Subtract 1 from that number.

Step 3: Multiply the result with 3.

Step 4: Add 12.

Step 5: Divide the answer by 3.

Step 6: Add 5.

Step 7: Subtract your starting number from the answer in step six.

The answer will always be 8.

Out ’n About ice fishing on Sebago Lake in Windham Well at least we have this flask with some good stuff in it to keep us nice and warm.

MORRIS AUTO PARTS 940 Washington St. North • Mon. - Fri. 8 - 5 • Sat. 8 - 12

Specializing in motors and transmissions Call for info

784-7374 • 800-730-7374 Favorite Irish Sayings: May there always be work for you to do.

Jamie Marston & Adon Shaw Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo

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UAD Pet Photo Contest We ran this contest on our Facebook page where fans entered their favorite pet photo.

Here’s some of the cutest entries.

Local Restaurants & Entertainment

March Specials at the Chick MADNESS Want us to fax you our weekly specials?

St. Patrick’s Day Sunday, March 17th Corned Beef & Cabbage Dinner

$8.95 Pretty Girl

March 29th Lunch & Dinner Haddock Specials Starting at

Food & Beverage – WE DO IT. Buffet style or plated dinners or lunches – WE GOT IT. Platters for 15 or 30 people – WE DO IT. Call us and we will fax you our options.

Good Friday Submitted by Aimee

Call us with your number.

Want us to cater your next event?

$5.95

Easter Sunday March 31st Traditional Baked Ham Dinner

$9.95

FRIEND us on Facebook for our daily specials & upcoming events!

Disetoen AL-ew Chick-of You’re gonna love it!

1472 Lisbon St, Lewiston • 376-3870 Our new website is up and running... ChickadeeLewiston.com

This Month in History - March: "The Ides of March" Julius Caesar is stabbed to death

by Marcus Junius Brutus. (44 B.C.)

Murphy Submitted by

Keri Nelson

Looking to maximize social media for your business? Uncle Andy’s Digest has the answer...

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo

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Out ’n About

Spudly Submitted by Hilary Chadburn

Wendy, did you know ants will not cross a line drawn with chalk?

Dad, have you been reading Uncle Andy’s Digest, again?

Tom Caldwell with his daughter, Wendy at Mike Morins Auto

Captain Kirk never said "Beam me up, Scotty," but he did say, "Beam me up, Mr. Scott."

The New Orleans W. Closure Complex will be largest pump station on earth & pumps 150,000 gallons per second.

Lady Bull

Rolly’s Diner

In 1952, Patricia McCormick of Big Spring, Texas, became the first North American woman bullfighter as she entered the ring at Juarez, Mexico.

Originally from St. Louis, Missouri, Patricia became enthralled with the art of bullfighting after a trip to Mexico City with her family at the age of seven!

Breakfast & Lunch Specials Daily

• Unusual Omelettes • Crepes • Breakfast All Day • Extensive Menu

Rolly’s food is so good and I love the decorations. #epicbreakfast

87 Mill St. New Auburn 753-0171 (for take-out)

Karen & Olivia Mayo of Minot

Mon – Sat 5 am – 2 pm Sunday 7 am – noon

The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the Lincoln Memorial.

Riddle Me This?

There is an ancient invention still used today to help people see through walls. What is it?

Window

Just good cookin’ and plenty of it!

Movie Fact

CAMERON TIRE & SERVICE, INC. FAMILY OWNED & OPERATED SINCE 1983 OUR TIRES

Rod Cameron & Ben Britton

• Wheel alignment & balancing • Complete brake work • Engine tune-up • Lube-oil-filter • State Inspections

60 Minot Ave • Auburn

782-6666 or 783-2026

A PROUD MEMBER OF THE NAPA AUTO CARE TEAM

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

In 2001, the first Harry Potter movie, "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone," set a new three-day opening weekend record for the U.S. by grossing $93.5 million, the first movie to gross more than $90 million in box office receipts in a weekend.

The longest reigning monarch in history was Pepi II, who ruled Egypt for 90 years; 2566 to 2476 BC. The second longest was France's Louis XIV, who ruled for 72 years, 1643 to 1715.

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo

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UAD Pet Photo Contest We ran this contest on our Facebook page where fans entered their favorite pet photo.

Here’s some of the cutest entries.

Local Restaurants & Entertainment

Biggest Party in L-A!

ALL WEEKEND LONG! MARCH 14TH-MARCH 17TH Thurs. March 14th Fri. March 15th Sat. March 16th

Live Music w/ Matt Fournier Nikki Hunt Band St. Patty’s Eve Bash, Live music

Bruiser Submitted by Hillary Groves

Sun. March 17th • OPEN AT NOON!

P U E IN L IC S U M E IV L Chad Porter 1-4pm Veggies 5-8pm Spiced Weasel 9-1am

GREEN BEER

Tons of Giveaways Kieser Submitted by Taylor Fillebrown

CORNED BEEF DINNERS SHEPHERD’S PIE

HEATED OUTDOOR TENTS!!

NO COVER EVER! EVERY WEEK AT THE TWINS TUESDAYS Open Mic w/Chad Porter

Stormy Submitted by Susan Bizier

Onions help reduce cholesterol if eaten after a fatty meal.

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo

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WEDNESDAYS Karaoke

THURSDAY-SATURDAY Live Entertainment

Irish Twins Pub Hours: Tues.& Wed. 3pm-close • Thurs. & Fri. 11am-close • Sat. 4pm-close

743 Main St., Lewiston • 376-3088 (across from Marden’s) Tomb robbers believed that knocking Egyptian sarcophagi's noses off would forestall curses.

UAD Pet Photo Contest

When chemists die, they barium.

We ran this contest on our Facebook page where fans entered their favorite pet photo.

Here’s some of the cutest entries.

Since 1953

www.LuiggisPizzeria.com

MONDAY The Fergy

TUESDAY Meatball Subs

WEDNESDAY Spaghetti Dinners 1 meatball, salad, garlic bread, drink

THURSDAY Mini Pizza

FRIDAY $1.00 OFF Any Large Pizza

SATURDAY 2 Ham or Salami Italians with 1.5 Liter Drink

Zephrie Submitted by Jenna Nadeau

EVERY DAY: Regular Pizza with Drink $4.99 There is about 200 times more gold in the world’s oceans, than has been mined in our entire history.

Amazing Photography Sassy Submitted by Annie Woods

Riley Submitted by Stacy Daniels

Looking to maximize social media for your business? Uncle Andy’s Digest has the answer...

The only member of the band ZZ Top without a beard has the last name Beard.

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo

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Railroad Facts The standard U.S. railroad width (4 feet, 8.5 inches) is directly derived from the width of Roman war chariots.

This is because the English expatriates who designed the U.S. railroad system based their measurements on the pre-railroad tramways built in England. Those tramways were built using the same tools used to build wagons, which were also that width.

The reason wagons were built to that width is because otherwise, they would break during long treks across the old English roads.

Those roads--built by the Romans--were full of ruts carved out by Roman war chariots.

All Roman chariots were built to a standard width of 4 feet, 8.5 inches, and so English wagons were built so that their wheels would fit into those ruts.

The USSR set off the largest nuclear explosion in history, detonating a 50 megaton bomb (2600 times the Hiroshima bomb) in an atmospheric test over the Novaya Zemla Islands, October 30 1961.

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo

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Local Restaurants & Entertainment

This month at Gipper ’s MARCH MADNESS PACKAGE Catch all the games of the Big Dance ♣St. Patt y’s Day♣ Sun. March 17th Boiled Dinner Specials All Day Easter Sunday - Sun. March 31st - Full menu available & Easter specials Red Sox Opening Day - Mon. April 8th, 2:05pm start - Bleacher Beers, Fenway Franks & more VOTED #1 Casual Restaurant, Best Waitstaff, & Best Burgers in L/A area

HOURS: Sun–Thurs 11:00am – 11:00pm Fri & Sat 11:00am – Midnight

120 CENTER STREET PLAZA • AUBURN • 786-0715 • www.gippers.com There are more than 50,000 earthquakes throughout the world every year!

CASINO BOUND? You’ll have better luck on a full stomach...

Guaranteed!

Wall of Fame Inductee!

ant restaur ch e l y t s lun Family kfast & no! a e r b g e casi servin ay to th w e h t on Home of the Double Yolker

Sean Gilks of Livermore

Finish a full-size omelette and have your picture put on our wall of fame!

Egg-ceptional Restaurant & Bakery 5 Pigeon Hill Road (Route 26 and 11), Mechanic Falls • 998-5577 An elephant's trunk contains more than 50,000 muscles.

Skepticisms is the longest word that alternates hands when typing!

Out ’n About at Central Maine Archery

• Create your own sandwiches • Specialty sandwiches • Freshly baked breads • Soups & chowders

& more

Roland is visionary with his facial accessories

Find our menu on MenusInLA.com

Dad, I think my draw weight needs adjusting. And how does my anchor point look?

Sunday, March 17th • Irish soda bread • St. Patty’s Day cookies, cakes, cupcakes, & more • Green frosted donuts

y r e k a B

r a l l e C e n i W &

Storm Ellis

March 31st • Hot cross buns • Cakes & pies • Wine • Fresh bread & rolls

72 Lisbon Road • Lisbon, Maine • 353-7552

www.benoitsbakery.com Nose prints are used to identify dogs, just like humans use fingerprints!

Tessa has her target in sight Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo

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Look at the number four on a clock face that uses Roman numerals. If the clock is made correctly then the Roman numeral four is wrong. The standard and correct way to write the Roman numeral four is "IV," but the traditional way to show it on a clock face is "IIII." Legend has it that a clock was made for a British king. When he saw the clock he mis- informedly corrected the clock maker who re-did the clock face to show a "IIII" instead of an "IV" thus not risking offending the king. Other clock makers followed suit so as not to embarrass the king. Now it is the traditional way to make clocks.

According to Genesis 1:20-22 the chicken came before the egg.

UNBEATABLE BREAKFAST SPECIALS TUESDAY: Two eggs, Cornbeef Hash, Toast.................$4.25

1 OFF Any

WEDNESDAY: Three Blueberry Pancakes...................$4.25

Purchase

THURSDAY: French Toast.............................................$4.25

of $500 or more

All breakfast specials include coffee

Daily Breakfast Specials served until 11am Fresh Steak Cut & Ground Daily!

MONDAY: Two eggs, Sausage, Homefries, Toast .........$4.25

FRIDAY: Two Item Omelette.........................................$4.25 5 Washington Street, Auburn

783-4304 Mon-Fri 5 am to 8 pm • Sat & Sun 6 am to 8 pm Phone Orders Are Welcome

$

SATURDAY: Two Golden pancakes w/Sausage............$4.25 SUNDAY: French Crepes...............................................$4.25

1 coupon per order Please, no reproduction of coupons

Prices do not include tax.

✁

Expires 3.31.13

Chewing gum has been proven to improve a person's mood, while decreasing anxiety and stress.

Peppe Goes Teen Birthday Boy

Until Sunday, September 3rd, 1967, driving was done on the lefthand side on roads in Sweden. The conversion to right-hand was done on a weekend at 5 p.m. All traffic stopped as people switched sides. This time and day were chosen to prevent accidents where drivers would have gotten up in the morning and been too sleepy to realize 'this' was the day of the changeover.

Hannah Kekacs Estes, Lily, Brian Peppe, Michael Peppe (birthday boy) & Shannon Wilson

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis

89% of the weight of water is made up from oxygen.

& Jimbo

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A teenager!

I think I need to write a new song... thoughts on what to call it?

My brother, Michael, turned 13.

Now he thinks he’s old enough for girls...

Happy Birthday to my little man!

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

Don’t Miss our BIG Sale!

Call for N.R. the nex A. P t Cou istol rse

We buy, sell & trade

J.T. REID’S GUNS 86 Court St., Auburn 777-3579

Full Line Gunsmith Service

Jamie Pelletier, Manager

jtreidsgunshop.com

9-5 Mon-Fri • 9-1 Sat

John Reid, Owner

Amazing Photography Contagious, too.

Jimbo couldn’t stop yawning putting this together...

Hammerin’ Down Fitness Series Starting Tuesday, March 5th Tues/Thurs/Fri 10-11am at SPRQ Sabattus Pricing and class description available on our website

www.SPRQstudio.com After School Enrichment Programs for grades K-8 Online registration required

Come see us at our Primary Location!!

Visit our website for more info on program dates & times

Our Instructors are certified, knowledgeable and will be the motivator to reach your goals!

20 Main Street, Sabattus (2nd floor) 754-9411 • www.SPRQstudio.com

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

Items on Uncle Andy’s Bucket List: 1. Wear shirt that says “Life.” Hand out lemons on street corner.

2. Hire two private investigators. Get them to follow each other.

3. Major in philosophy.

Ask people WHY they would like fries with that.

4. Go into a crowded elevator and say, “I bet you’re all wondering why I gathered you here,” with a straight face.

5. Make vanilla pudding. Put in mayo jar. Eat in public.

6. Become a teacher.

Make a test where every answer is “C.” Enjoy the show.

7. Wait until someone is about to sneeze.

Right before they do, loudly scream, “PIKA PIKAAAA!” 8. Run into a store, ask what year it is. When someone answers, yell “It worked!” and run out cheering.

9. Buy a horse, name it “Oscar Takes the Lead” enter it in horse races.

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Pollen can travel up to 500 miles in a day.

Local Restaurants & Entertainment

2-Fer Specials Available Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday 165 High Street, Auburn • 782-7796 • Open Tuesday - Sunday

www.villageinnmaine.com No disrespect to Easter and what it means... but why do you humans insist on doing things like this to your pet friends?

Happy Easter

Earlybird Special

$

5 OFF

any two entrees Monday-Friday 2-4pm

✁Expires 3.31.13

UAD

BBQ & Beer Dinner Brunch is Back 10am-2pm every Sunday

Maine Restaurant Week March 1st - 10th

Tuesday, March 26th Social hour 6-6:30pm • Dinner 6:30pm Sponsored by Geary’s • Call for reservations

783-6885

www.macsgrill.com 1052 Minot Avenue, Auburn Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo

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A ten-gallon hat holds three-quarters of a gallon.

It takes 42 muscles in your face to frown. It only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and smack someone upside the head.

The Party is Here All Month Long ENTERTAINMENT LINE-UP March 9th Stronghold

March 16th

March 23rd March 30th

St. Patty’s Day Party Tina Kelly Band w/43 North & Friends

TrendKill Pantera Tribute Band

& the Mechanical Bull

Items on Uncle Andy’s Bucket List: (continued) 10. Invite someone into your office, turn around in office chair and say, “I’ve been expecting you...”

11. Change name to Simon. Speak in third person.

12. Become a doctor.

Change last name to Acula.

Comedy @ The Club Friday March 8th Kyron Hobdy with Samantha Johnson & Rob Santos

Friday March 15th The Howard Stern show’s

High Register Sean with Bret Gron

$7/ticket • Doors open at 7:00PM, shows start at 8:30PM

150 Center St. Auburn • 784-7785 • ClubTexas.info If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

13. Buy a parrot.

Teach the parrot to say, “Help! I’ve been turned into a parrot.”

14. Follow joggers around in a car blasting “Eye of the Tiger” for encouragement.

On 15 April 1912 the RMS Titanic sunk on her maiden voyage and over 1,500 people died.

Fourteen years earlier a novel was published

by Morgan Robertson which seemed to foretell the disaster. The book described a ship the same size as the Titanic which crashes into an iceberg on its maiden voyage on a misty April night. The name of Robertson's fictional ship was the Titan.

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Amazing Photography

Local Restaurants & Entertainment

Any CORNED BEEF SANDWICH in MARCH Yes, even the Reuben!

It’s your lucky month... Stop by Heidi’s Brooklyn Deli and $ave!

600 Turner Street, Auburn • 784-3434 • www.heidisauburn.com This Month in History - March: Senate begins impeachment trial of President Andrew Johnson. (1868)

Facebook Contest Now thru March 12th

Dad’s Place is celebrating their 10th anniversary! www.dadsplace.info

Enter to WIN

a $100 Gift Card to Mac’s Grill

Go to our Facebook page Facebook.com/UncleAndysDigest or scan this QR code with your smart phone

Contest started 2.10.13 and runs thru 3.12.13 - the winner will be published in our April edition.

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Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.

Smithee is a pseudonym that filmmakers use when they don't want their names to appear in the credits.

$

5 OFF

Purchase of $25 or more Limit one per visit Expires 03/31/13

Japanese • Korean • Thai • Sushi 730 Center Street, Auburn Auburn Plaza NEXT TO FLAGSHIP CINEMA

376-4855

jasminecafemaine.com

Favorite Irish Sayings: May your purse always hold a coin or two.

SABATTUS MAIN STREET MARKET 2 Main Street, Sabattus, ME 04280 • 207-375-8502 MONDAY

TUESDAY

Ham Italians Small $1.59 Large $2.59

Small 1-Topping 10” Pizza $3.99

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

1 Pint Chili $3.99 BLT Sm. $1.99 Lg. $3.49

Small $1.99 Large $3.49

$2.00 OFF Any Large Pizza

WEDNESDAY

SATURDAY Baked Beans

Tuna Italian

Pint $2.59 • Quart $3.59

LIVE BAIT NOW AVAILABLE!

*equal or lesser value

✂

Main St. Market • Expires 3/31/13

Qrt w/Cole Slaw $4.59 Qrt w/CS & hot dogs (6) $7.59

Breakfast Sandwich $1.99 Hash Browns 2/$1.00 • Coffee All Sizes $.99

We accept cash, checks, major credit/debit cards & EBT

Open 7 Days a Week • 6am-8pm

BUY 1 GET 1 FREE Large Pizza

Chicken Salad Small $1.99 Large $3.49

$

1 OFF

✂

SUNDAY

Kutters Korner Grows Again

Any Large Sandwich Main St. Market • Expires 3/31/13

This Month in History - March: Mrs. Charles Fahning of Buffalo N.Y. is recognized as the first woman to bowl a perfect 300 game. (1930)

Angella Brissette Kutters Korner would like to welcome Angella Brissette as a new stylist to their professional staff. Angella is a 2012 graduate from Empire Beauty School. She was previously a part-time receptionist at Kutters Korner for two and a half years. Angella is very excited to be back on the team behind the chair as a hair stylist.

Brissette told Uncle Andy’s, “I am looking forward to building a clientele and advancing my career.” She added, “I love everything about the industry itself and can’t wait to further my education and experience with Kutters Korner.” Angella specializes in color, cuts and updos.

She lives in Lewiston and is also a part-time associate at Lowe’s. Her hobbies include traveling, hiking, music, spending time with friends and family and she adores the ocean.

Angella welcomes all family and friends or anyone looking to try a new stylist to visit her at Kutters Korner at 14 Highland Spring Road in Lewiston or call 786-4311 and book your appointment today! See their ad on page 69.

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Speed Limit

Favorite Irish Sayings: May the sun always shine on your windowpane.

Submitted by Jimbo

Safety is a major concern at the manufacturing company where I work. So I'm constantly preaching caution to the workers I supervise. "Does anyone know," I asked a few guys, "what the speed limit is in our parking lot?"

The long silence that followed was interrupted when one of them piped up. "That depends. Do you mean coming in to work or leaving?"

The US federal income tax was first enacted in 1862 to support the Union's Civil War effort.

It was eliminated in 1872, revived in 1894 then declared unconstitutional by the Supreme Court the following year. In 1913, the 16th Amendment to the Constitution made the income tax a permanent fixture in the US tax system.

••• --- ••• S.O.S. doesn't stand for "Save Our Ship" or "Save Our Souls". It was chosen by an 1908 international conference on Morse Code because the letters S and O were easy to remember and just about anyone could key it and read it, S = dot dot dot, O = dash dash dash.

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Out ’n About at

Good day to you!

Welcome to CMA.

Central Maine Archery

Zeus & Apollo work the reception desk

Zeus, when you say CMA some people might think that means the Country Music Awards. You know, people like Uncle Andy.

We’ve got what you need in March

Easter & St. Patty’s outfits!

Strollers

• Spring & Summer Clothing & Footwear • Toys & More • Car Seats • Beds

120 Center Street, Auburn • 212-0770 Mon-Sat 9-7 • Sun 11-5

pipsqueakschildrensboutique.com

96 Sabattus Road, Sabattus • 375-7100 Mon-Fri 10:30 - 5:30 • Sat 10-5

Did you Know? March was named for the Roman God "Mars"

The first losing candidate in a US presidential election was Thomas Jefferson.

He lost to John Adams. George Washington had been unopposed.

MAKE THE MOVE TO PROTECT THE ONES YOU LOVE Wills • Trusts Power of Attorney Living Wills

The Law Offices of John Whalen, P.A.

Cartoon History The Flintstones, which premiered on ABC-TV in 1960, was the first TV cartoon show aimed at adults.

Alan Reed, the original voice of Fred Flintstone, uttered the famous “yabba-dabba-doo” in the first episode. Originally, the line read “Yahoo,” but Reed asked Joseph Barbera if he could change it to something with a little more “pop” to it... and the rest is history.

184 Webster Street, Lewiston

Did you know?

207-786-0346

The White House will send your newborn a birthday card. Just send the following information: Baby's name, address, and date of birth to: White House Greetings Office, Room 39, Washington, DC 20500

John Whalen with Rylee

Favorite Irish Sayings: May the hand of a friend always be near you.

Oak trees do not have acorns until they are fifty years old or older.

This Month in History - March: President Ronald Reagan calls the USSR an "Evil Empire" (1983)

NEW! NEW! NEW! Lewiston Business Maps & Auburn Business Maps are coming soon.

Be sure your business is listed!

Business listings are only $

75

15,000 maps to be printed and distributed throughout each city. email: sales@kolormarketing.com FMI Division of FinePrint Printing & Graphics • KolorMarketing.com • 353-8600

This Month in History - March: The Eiffel Tower opens in Paris, France (1889).

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How Babies are Made

There are four cars and eleven light posts on the back of a ten-dollar bill.

Submitted by Michele Farrar

IC S T Y L ER A T CA VERT CON

Visit Michalak and get CA$H today!

THE RAC

Maine’s Most T

TIME TO COMPUTER TOWERS

• Catalytic Converters • Batteries • Alloy Rims • Aluminum

Always the best

THE WINNE START ALTER ERS NATOR S

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SPECIAL PRICING FOR ALUMINUM

The United States government keeps its supply of silver at the U.S. Military Academy at West Point, NY.

START

Turn y into F our old met AS al Best pT CASH! r ANYW ices HERE !

The Phillips-head screwdriver was invented in Oregon.

I love Michalak!

Best place to bring your recyclable metals!

CE IS ON

BAT

Trusted Recycler

Continued...

TER

IES

paying t prices!

15 Pierce Street, Auburn Across from Maine Oxy. Two driveways down from Doggz Inn.

ALLOY RIMS

CA$H IN! • Starters • Alternators • Computer Towers

How Babies are Made

615-7057 or 795-8887

Canadian photographer Patrice Laroche surely will have no trouble explaining to his kids about the birds and the bees.

During his wife Sandra Denis’ pregnancy, the artist created hilarious explanatory photo series titled “How to Make a Baby”. The creative couple planned and carried out their project throughout the whole period of 9 months, taking pictures in the exact same settings as Sandra’s belly expanded. The pregnancy saga of Sandra and Patrice basically denounces all the traditional cabbage and the stork stories.

Spit Ball

ER IS YOU! Mon - Fri 8am - 5pm

FINISH

ALUMINU

M

The magic word "Abracadabra" was originally intended for the specific purpose of curing hay fever.

In 1920, baseball organizers outlawed all pitches involving any tampering with the ball, including using sandpaper, emery boards, or spit. The spitball was banned because pitchers could not control it. The spit would alter the center of gravity of the ball and it would be hard to hit, but it almost never made it in the strike zone.

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NEXT Level Business Coaching We Will Make Your Business Better in 90 Days – Guaranteed!

Call 207-376-3239 for a free, confidential 90-minute coaching session on any two business issues you are facing.

Come experience business coaching at NO RISK.

Websites...

Yep, We Do That!

Mobile friendly websites you can afford

GET YOUR BUSINESS THE ATTENTION IT DESERVES! Call us today for your affordable, mobile friendly website that will get you the online presence you need to have in todays business climate.

Our sites include: One domain name (that YOU own) • FOUR pages FIVE email addresses • Mobile friendly, Responsive design • Easily updateable w/full access • Search Engine Friendly • Managed Web Hosting (No worries about getting hacked or your software going out of date. All sites backed up regularly with latest security patches and software upgrades).

UNCLE ANDY’S DIGEST

UADwebsites.com 783-7039 • editor@UncleAndys.com

Call TOD AY to get started!

There wasn't a single pony in the Pony Express, just horses.

Special of the Month

at

TUXEDO RENTALS

at prices You can afford!

Sarah Jeanne’s Family Hair Care, Tanning & Day Spa

S&J Tuxedos & Limo Service LIMO RENTALS

76 Sabattus Street, Lewiston

Just added to our Limo Fleet: A 14-passenger Lincoln Navigator!

333-3737

Use this or one of our other three 10-passenger Limos for your night out on the town, or special event.

Jason Jalbert is welcoming all previous & new clientele!

Book a color or a foil with Jason and get a

FREE • Updos • Hair Services • Manicures • Pedicures • Hot Tub • Sauna • Massage • Tanning

Come check e us out, you’ll b glad you did!

• Body Waxing • Body Wraps • Facials • Eyelashes • Limos • Tuxedos • And More!

g party in d d e w r u o y r fo p A one-stop sho d proms! an

Sarah Jeanne’s Family Hair Care

Tanning & Day Spa

77 Sabattus Street, Lewiston • 795-6778 • sarahjeannes.com A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

60 minute

Tanning Package

or

50% OFF on all hair care products.

Call Today!

Sarah Jeanne’s 77 Sabattus Street, Lewiston

795-6778 sarahjeannes.com Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo

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This Month in History - March: The 15th amendment goes into effect, giving black men the right to vote. (1870)

Authorized Service Center

INSTRUMENT REPAIR, SERVICE & SALES Main St. Music Lessons & Instrument Repair

Also offering lessons in: • Guitar • Piano • Bass • Voice • Banjo • Mandolin • Violin • Ukulele • Brass & Woodwinds • Cello • Music theory

www.mainstreetmusiclessons.com • 376-3376

134 Main Street, Auburn

Family Time with the class clown

I really do miss his geekiness...

Gene Couillard, center, is surrounded by his daughters and grandkids. Daughters are Annette Dupre & Sue Marston. Grandkids are Maegan Dupre, Tanner & Courtney Marston

It is believed that Shakespeare was 46 around the time that the King James Version of the Bible was written. In Psalms 46, the 46th word from the first word is 'shake' and the 46th word from the last word is 'spear'.

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This Month in History - March: Jeopardy debuts on television. (1964)

Favorite Irish Sayings: May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

Out ’n About Uncle Andy, I know you think you’re an expert on all this social media stuff.

But you’re a dead giveaway as soon as you open your mouth. It’s not Faceplace or Mytube or even Twitbook. I’ll PM you later on Facebook. And you need to come up with a good # for yourself.

This Month in History - March: Nathaniel Briggs patents the washing machine. (1797)

Curtis Fanjoy Wallingford Equipment

By Natasha Piirainen

Last month I celebrated my two year anniversary with my boyfriend, Alex. Like most couples we bought each other gifts for the occasion.

After being around me for two years, Alex is well-aware of my obsession with cats and crazy sweaters. I am the proud owner of a travel mug that says ‘Crazy Cat Lady’ on it and I will show anyone around me (willing or unwilling) photos of my cat, Theb, which I keep on my cell phone. And as for the sweaters, I always wear overthe-top, colorful, or crazy clothes that most people I know describe as ‘old lady sweaters’. Yes, cats and sweaters are two of my

And then he said, flatfaced and serious, “Well, after being with you for two years, I figured you should come with a warning label!”

Favorite Irish Sayings: May the wind at your back not be from the cabbage and corned beef that you eat today!

Fast Woman In 1965, Lee Breedlove set the land speed record for women when she drove her jet-powered Spirit of America car at a speed of 308.56 mph on the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah.

Riddle Me This?

Powder left by flame, Three letters in my name. What am I? Ash

Deal With It!

favorite things.

So imagine the enjoyment I felt when I opened up my gift from Alex and saw that it was a cat sweater! That’s right, a grey crew-neck sweater with a picture of a cat wearing sunglasses on it. And written on the sweater were the words ‘Cattitude, deal with it’.

A cat sweater with a pun on it? I couldn’t have been happier! I gave Alex a huge hug, threw the sweater on over the other sweater I had already been wearing, and couldn’t stop smiling.

“How did you think of something so perfect?” I asked him, thinking about how lucky I was to have found someone who knew me so well, and how happy I was to be with someone so sweet.

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Christmas Cards In 1843, the first Christmas card was printed in England for Sir Henry Cole. He was busy man who wanted to save time in his own Christmas letters, but was also interested in encouraging the expansion of the postal system. 1000 copies of the card were sold at one shilling each. It was not until the 1860s that the production of cards accelerated, with cheaper printing methods. Then in 1870, the Post Office introduced a half penny stamp for sending cards.

Vermont, admitted as the 14th state in 1791, was the 1st addition to the original 13 colonies.

Complete Frame & Single Vision Lenses First pair

Hairy The average scalp has 100,000 hairs. Redheads have the least at 80,000; brown and black haired persons have about 100,000; and blondes have the most at 120,000. (That is more than a thousand hairs in each square inch!)

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Second pair

$

40

Not to be combined with any other offer See sales associate for details

We accept most insurances

Search: VIP Eyes Auburn

120 Center Street Plaza, Auburn • 783-4226 The White House, in Washington DC, was originally gray, the color of the sandstone it was built out of. After the War of 1812, during which it had been burned by Canadian troops, the outside walls were painted white to hide the smoke stains.

$

Vision at a Value Mon - Fri 9:30 AM - 6:00 PM, Sat 10 AM - 3:00 PM

This Month in History - March: The rubber band was invented.

Can you imagine life without them!?! (1845)

Fiberglass Boat Repair PICKUP & DELIVERY FREE ESTIMATES

Pre-season pricing until April 1st Beat the rush – CALL NOW

Structural to Scratches Blister Repair Bottom Painting Gel-coating & Painting Detailing

Plummer Composites • 207-650-6485 The first modern Olympiad was held in Athens in 1896. 484 contestants from 13 nations participated.

The first US Marines wore high leather collars to protect their necks from sabres, hence the name "leathernecks."

Auburn Exchange Club’s 37th Annual Twin Cities

Not only am I the mascot at the Cap Place, I also specialize in making the customer smile.

Purrrrfect job for me don’t ya think?

GUN SHOW Whitey Cap Place & More mascot

SAT. MARCH 23rd 9-4 SUN. MARCH 24th 9-3 at the

Lewiston Armory

Riddle Me This?

I start at 12:01. I'm a new start. I'm full of challenges. What am I?

Central Ave., Lewiston

I am tomorrow

Dealers from throughout d New Englan

Lockheed, manufacturer of the Trident missile, transmits data from its Sunnyvale, California headquarters to its plant 30 miles away in Santa Cruz via carrier pigeon.

OPEN TO THE PUBLIC • 250 Tables of Guns & Related Items • Firearm Laws Will Be Observed • CONTEMPORARY & ANTIQUE GUNS OF ALL KINDS • KNIVES & OTHER RELATED ITEMS

Admission: Adults: 8 Children under 12: Free with adult $

This Month in History - March: Harriet Beacher Stowe publishes the book, Uncle Tom's Cabin. (1852)

"Time decides who you meet in life, your heart decides who you want in your life, and your behavior decides who stays in your life."

– Author Unknown The 'vintage date' on a bottle of wine indicates the year the grapes were picked, not the year of bottling!

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Out ’n About at Auburn Plaza Family Dentistry

This Month in History - March: The city of Madrid falls to the forces of Francisco Franco, ending the Spanish Civil War. (1939)

Melissa Robbins Receptionist

Lisa Marie Sasseville, R.D.H. with patient, Sally Roberts Check out our new Facebook page. And be sure to LIKE us!

Sara Cote Office Manager Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo

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The supersonic Concorde jet made its first trial flight on January 1, 1969.

Mageirocophobia is the intense fear of having to cook.

Cotton Candy Parties!

Out ’n About Customized containers for any

Starting at $50 Call for details

occasion!

I’m just sitting here daydreaming about my future husband. That Blake Dow is quite the hunk.

241-3169

Yummo Carts

YummoCarts.com

CHECK OUT OUR NEW LOCATION 990 Lisbon Street • Lewiston (Corner of Lisbon St. & South Ave.)

PROFESSIONAL AUTO DETAILING

• Cars & Trucks • Motorcycles • Vans • Big Rigs • Boats • Hand Car Wash

207-402-1155

Find us on Facebook

SANDING & SALTING Commercial or Residential Call for your FREE quote!

We also offer snowplowing & removal services

Morin ating excav Inc.

Andy Morin 207.784.8293 cell: 207.576.4714 amorinexc@roadrunner.com

When we smell chocolate, theta waves increase in the brain, making us feel relaxed.

Chase Hogan What The Teacher Says and What She Really Means Says: Fantastic imagination! Unmatched in his capacity for blending fact with fiction.

Means: He's definitely one of the biggest liars I have ever met.

Erma Bombeck was an American humorist who achieved great popularity for her newspaper column that described suburban home life humorously from the mid-1960s until the late 1990s.

She also published 15 books, most of which became best-sellers.

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Out ’n About at Auburn Plaza Family Dentistry R.F.M. Retirement For Me! After 30 years in the dental world, I think it’s time for me to kick the tires of retirement.

The heaviest person ever recorded is Jon Brower Minnoch, who at his peak weighed more than 1,400 pounds.

Facebook Contest Now thru March 12th

Dad’s Place is celebrating their 10th anniversary! www.dadsplace.info

Enter to WIN

a $100 Gift Card to Mac’s Grill

Go to our Facebook page Claudette Roy

Facebook.com/UncleAndysDigest or scan this QR code with your smart phone

Contest started 2.10.13 and runs thru 3.12.13 - the winner will be published in our April edition.

is

-!

A-W-E-S-O-M-E Dr. Chen, D.M.D. The human eyes can perceive more than 1 million simultaneous visual impressions and are able to discriminate among nearly 8 million gradations of color.

These awesome kids from Stepping Stones Early Learning Center show off the snowflakes they made and sent to Sandy Hook Elementary School to help them decorate the school for it's re-opening.

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis

Every 20 minutes, 1,851,000 statuses are updated on Facebook.

& Jimbo

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Out ’n About at Auburn Plaza Family Dentistry

Microsoft's "I'm a PC" Ad was created on a Mac.

Choose us for a stress free visit, that you will be proud to show off!

Alice Crawford

Tracy Barker Dental Assistant

THE 2ND AMENDMENT IS NOT ABOUT HUNTING Learn how to defend yourself and your family.

NRA Certified Instruction

CC Permit • Basic • Advanced Don Mailhot NRA - Law Enforcement

576-5131

'Lol' is the Dutch word for fun.

Roland Levasseur NRA-SIG Academy - Frontsight

212-0608

Amber Ridley Receptionist Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo

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Village St. Café opens in Lisbon

A group of owls is called a parliament.

Liquid Waste Pumping • Portable sanitation facilities

Do not neglect your Septic System

Service Rental Sales

For proper maintenance, it should be pumped periodically.

CALL US TODAY TO SET UP AN APPOINTMENT

G.A. DOWNING CO., INC.

Madeleine Brodeur, Allison Caron & Christine Amaya The Village St. Café has opened in the heart of Lisbon.

They are located at 12 Village Street and occupy a building that comes with lots of history. It was once the town’s library, an accountant’s office, a karate studio, and even a meeting hall for the Boy Scout back in the 50’s.

The café is a cozy place that seats 20 people in the dining room and another eight around the bar surrounding an open kitchen. Upon entering, you can enjoy a small quiet area with two comfy chairs where you can sit and sip on a cup of Green Mountain Coffee, with books and magazines for all ages.

Owner, Christine Amaya, who also has owned Miller’s Variety in Lisbon Falls for over five years, knew this would be not only a great opportunity, but also great for the Lisbon community.

Chris shared with UAD, “ My family was raised just a few feet from where the café is. I love meeting the people who knew my grandparents or went to school with my mother and uncles.” It serves as a great place for people to meet up with old friends and share stories of their life in Lisbon.

The café is currently open Monday through Saturday from 6am to 2pm. They serve a variety of homemade foods, including soups, corn beef hash and muffins.

There are no fried foods on the menu.

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111 Woodman Hill RD Minot, ME 04258 207.782.4508 800.924.4500

We carry risers, covers, baffle replacements, septic additives.

Happy Easter

The weight of a simple white puffy cloud is around 200,000 lbs and a hurricane cloud can weigh even more than 100,000,000 lbs.

"Groaking" is act of watching people eat food hoping they'll offer you some.

STATE CHAMPS, AGAIN! Lewiston Blue Devils Cheerleaders The Lewiston Blue Devils Cheering squad earned their 3rd straight Class A state cheering championship recently in Bangor. They edged out Marshwood (166.3) with a 167.7 out of a possible 175 points.

The team will be traveling to the New England Spirit Championship on March 16th in Lawrence, MA. They will be defending their 2012 New England title.

Bottom row (l to r): Adreena Adams, Torey Reny, Kirsty Beauchesne, Kara Barnies & Taylor Pratt.

2nd row (l to r): Olivia Bergeron, Lilly Fundis, Tierra Safe, Tia Cortes, Erika Thibault, Kelly Nuzzo, Abby Madden, Cassie Regner, Erin Morris & Meagan Murphy. 3rd row (l to r): Andrea Bonin, Sage Physic, Sadie Dulac, Taylor Hopkins, Sierra Melanson, Nadine Jones & Alyssa Rousseau.

Coaches, Lynnette Morency & Jennifer Roy

Congratulations, girls!!

Lewiston Blue Demons Middle school Cheerleaders The Lewiston Blue Demons middle school cheering squad claimed 1st place in the Cheers from the Heart invitational in February. front row: Jordan Giroud, Lexie Elsman, Katana Langlois, Mandi Alberda, Ali Porter, Hailee Ingerson, Kierstyn Sarchi, Taylor White & Katilyn Gagnon.

2nd row: Jasmine Fournier, Tori Mathieu, Morgan Allen, Maraeka Merchant, Alexis Caron, Maddie Reger, Hope Bowen & Maggie Belleau.

3rd row: Sierra Melanson, Meagan Murphy, Andrea Bonin, Lily Fundis, Zilphy Avery, Brianna Girardin, Jenna Burton, Taylor Hopkins, Alyssa Rousseau, Torey Reny, Kara Barnies, Adreena Adams & Kirsty Beauchesne.

4th row: Kaitlyn Beckwith, Cassie Regner, Taylor Hopkins, Olivia Bergeron, Kelly Nuzzo, Tia Cortes, Erin Morris, Sadie Dulac, Tierra Safe, Sage Physic, Nadine Jones, Abby Madden & Erika Thibault, Coaches: Lynnette Morency, Jennifer Roy & Lysa Laverdiere

In Kansas, it is illegal to catch fish with your bare hands.

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Odd Phrases

12 + 3 - 4 + 5 + 67 + 8 + 9 = 100

Where did they come from?

If You Can Do It, I’ll Eat My Hat!: means 'I don’t believe you can do it.' The original word hat in this expression was ‘hatte’ which is actually an Old English dish of eggs, veal, dates and salt. Over time the meaning of the phrase evolved into the ridiculous proposition it sounds like.

Never give up!

"With your voice, nobody is going to let you broadcast." Don Hewitt, producer of 60 Minutes to an unknown Barbara Walters.

Delaware is not an Indian name. The Native American name is Lenape, meaning ‘the people.’ The name given to them by the white settlers was Delaware, which came from the river along which these indigenous people lived. The river was named for Lord Thomas West, Baron De La Waar, the colonial governor of Virginia in the early 1600s.

Never give up!

Marc’s Auto Body, Inc is a top-rated insurance collision repair provider. This means you can count on us to always get the job done right the first time. Our goal is to make your vehicle look better than it did even before your accident.

Our Auto Body Repair Specialties Include: • Air Conditioning • Heating Systems • Bumpers • Body Rebuilding • Broken Mirror Repair • Frame Straightening • Unibody Specialist • Hail Damage Repair

• Paint Removal & Repair • Chip & Scratch Repair • Paintless Dent Repair • Aluminum & Metal Work • Antique & Classic Car Restorations • Fiberglass Service & Repair • Glass & Windshields

"You are stiff and unappealing! You ain't got it kid." Columbia producer Jerry Tokovsky to Harrison Ford.

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The fastest roller coaster in the world is Formula Rossa at Abu Dhabi, which launches from 0 to 150 mph in 4.9 seconds.

Everyday words with references to Greek gods

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

Come to Oxford’s only original indoor flea market!

Open 7 days a week year-round for your shopping!

Collectibles • Coins • Glassware • Sports Cards • Furniture • BEANIE BABIES Advertising Items • Jewelry • Cassettes • DVDs • CD’s • Videos • Antiques & Lots More!

VISIT

“THE BOOK NOOK” Regular Paperbacks $1/each $

3.50 each for most Hardcover Books

Selective Hard Covers $2

20 OFF %

all Audio Books (books on tape & CD) Over 55,000 Pre-Read Books & Cookbooks

Large Selection of Fenton Glassware!

Never give up!

INVENTORY REDUCTION SALE!

20% - 75% OFF

Pre-Read Books arriving daily

Tantalize: Tantalus was a Greek king who was punished by the other gods for tying to deceived them. He was forced to stand in a pool of water up to his chin, but when he lowered his head to drink, the water receded just out of reach. The same was true with food. The tantalizing food and water filled him with desire, but was completely unobtainable.

"The bands OK, but I'd get rid of the singer with the tire-tread lips."

BBC radio producer to the Rolling Stones and their lead singer, Mike Jagger.

Odd Phrases Where did they come from?

Ten Gallon Hat: refers to a 'big cowboy hat.'

Measurements have nothing to do with it.

The name come from Sombrero Galon, which means ‘braided hat’ in Spanish.

Featuring

131Vendors Open 7 Days a Week

8 AM - 5 PM We honor: M/C, DEBIT, ATM, VISA, Am. Express & Discover cards

s Alway g n i Buy

960 Main Street, Oxford • 539-4149 500 feet North of the New Balance Factory Outlet Store

Largest Indoor Flea Market in the Area!

Green pigs are the enemies in Angry Birds because the swine flu epidemic was in the news during the game's development.

Everyday words with references to Greek gods Hygiene: Inspired by Hygeia, the Greek goddess who brings good health.

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Out ’n About in

Broccoli is the only vegetable that is also a flower.

Punta Cana, Dominican Republic for a wedding!

f t i o r f e n e B

Bob

Sunday, March 3rd • 6pm at Gippers Jen Basinet at Gabi Beach Club You Mainer’s sure know how to have a good time! Not so sure about the guy underneath us...

$

10

minimum donation at the door

Live Music by the

Tragic Cats Denise Vaillancourt &

Brenda from Texas & Shannon Wilson at Gabi Beach Club (the shy guy giving the thumbs up is Scott Malcolm)

Bob Morin

Bob Morin, chef at Gippers, is finally coming around after being in an induced coma for a month, due to double pneumonia and another virus attacking his body.

He will have a long and difficult road to recovery, and his medical bills will be off the charts!

Bob is a fighter, and everything we can do as a community will help!

Speak of the Devil is short for "Speak of the Devil and he shall come". It was believed that if you spoke about the Devil it would attract his attention and he would appear.

Contact the great people at Gippers FMI • 786-0715

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis

72 hours of video are uploaded to YouTube every minute.

& Jimbo

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Join us for a fun night!

Pineapple actually acts as a natural painkiller because it contains anti-inflammatory enzymes.

Fun! Classes for Adults & Kids 3 hours - $5 per class

Call now to inquire about our enrollment wait list.

Mention this ad to have your $35 enrollment fee waived

375-4500

• Clean, friendly • Centrally located, environment minutes from L/A area • Full curriculum for all ages

Great for birthday parties!

paint & brushes provided

Learn the art of creating and painting beautiful ceramic pieces.

Call for classes & details

Suzy’s Ceramics, Crafts, & Etc. 576-9450 783-6431 754 Washington St. • Auburn

820 Sawyer Rd., Greene

Snorkel Packages

GAS PROBLEMS?

Snorkel, mask, fins, bag & DVD

We can help!

Starting at $49.95

Scuba classes running all winter. Call for details

Barclay s Skindivers Paradise

Gas heating system & appliance check-ups & service

784-7300 685 Washington St. Auburn

Gas Services

We also do installations & oil to gas conversions!

740-6061 FREE Estimates

Red, yellow and orange are colors that make you hungry.

...Our Design

WOW! 10’x12’ Oak Kitchen with countertop $1,99999 10’x12’ Birch Kitchen with countertop $2,09999

Bruce

Holly

Prince

Stacy

1822 Lisbon Rd., Lewiston

1766 Federal Rd. (Rt. 4) Livermore

784-3100

897-3400

www.KitchenSolutionsMaine.com The word "set" has 464 definitions, the most of any word in the English language.

The bat on the Bacardi symbol is there because the first BACARDI distillery had a colony of fruit bats living in the rafters. Bats were thought to bring good health, fortune and family unity U.S. Interstates which go north-south are numbered sequentially starting from the west with odd numbers, and Interstates which go east-west are numbered sequentially starting from the south with even numbers.

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Amazing Photography

"Limerence" is the technical term for having a crush on a person.

Enter to Win!

With every $50 gift card purchased, enter to win an Easter basket valued at $250!

392 Center Street, Auburn

786-0112

Kelly

Michael

Tina

Terry

Nuria

Taylor

Linda

Cory

Kathy

Kellyann

The sweet scent that lingers after a rainfall is called "petrichor."

This Month in History - March: The infamous Alcatraz prison is closed. (1963) Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo

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American school buses are yellow because the brain registers the color yellow faster than any other!

Est. 2008

Hannah

Since March 27 2012

Dog Grooming Daycare & Boutique

Since Oct. 19 2010

Bella A.

We have 6,000 sq. ft. of indoor heated comfortable play area. We are the only facility in the state that offers everything for your pup, from daycare to grooming, transportation, dog food and supplies all under one roof!

No payment contracts! If your dog doesn't come to play, you don't pay!!

FULL DAYS OF PLAY AS LOW AS $16

PER DAY!

FUN, SAFE & SUPERVISED PLAY ENVIRONMENT Since Sept. 11 2012

Charlie

thedoggzinn@gmail.com• www.facebook.com/thedoggzinn

http://thedoggzinn.googlepages.com

Boutique includes full line of dog supplies & products • Planet Dog • Blue Buffalo • Lupine • Red Dingo • Mason Antlers

Since Aug. 14 2012 Since June 1 3 2011

Brodie

Since July 17 2012

Cal

Bella T.

Kids In Church

Flamingos can only eat with their heads upside down.

The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again.

After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"

Interesting Town Names Tarzan, TX honors the fictional character who lived among the apes.

And let’s not overlook Tarzana, CA. That’s where Edgar Rice Burroughs lived when he wrote those great jungle adventures.

Odd Phrases Where did they come from?

Red-Letter Day: refers to a 'special occasion day.' The old Christian church of the Middle Ages had feast days, saint days and other holy days, and those special days were printed on a calendar in red ink. For everything else, black ink was used.

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Cows are able to sleep while standing up, but they can only dream when lying down.

Ticker Tape In 1886, the first ticker tape parade celebrated the dedication of the Statue of Liberty. The term ticker tape originally referred to the use of the paper output of ticker tape machines, which were used in brokerages to provide updated stock market quotes. Nowadays, the paper products are largely waste office paper that has been cut using conventional paper shredders.

Over 1 million Europeans were taken as slaves by North Africans between the years 1530 and 1780.

A Maine Tradition You Can Count On! DAILY SPECIALS Monday - Turkey Dinner . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$9.99 w/ potatoes, peas, squash, stuffing, gravy & rolls

Tues. Wed. & Thurs.

Fried Clams . .sm. $11.99 . . . . .lg. $15.79 w/potato & choice of salad or cole slaw

Wednesday - Chicken Pot Pie . . . . . . . . . .$6.99 w/potato & rolls

Thursday - New England Boiled Dinner . . .$9.99 Hours: Sunday-Thursday 6am – 9pm; Friday & Saturday 6am – 9:30pm w/corned beef, potato, cabbage, carrots, turnip, beets & rolls

Friday & Saturday

Friday, Saturday & Sunday

After 4:00 PM "Welcoming imperfection is the way to accomplish what perfectionism promises but never delivers. It gives us our best performance and genuine acceptance in the family of human -- and by that I mean imperfect -beings."

Prime Rib Au Jus* Small $13.99 • Large $16.79

In 1999, the last of the 13 Liberty Trees, one for each of the 13 original U.S. colonies, was cut down after being severely damaged by Hurricane Floyd. The 400-yearold tulip poplar on the campus of St. John's College in Annapolis, Maryland, served as a rallying point in the 1770s for colonial patriots who desired freedom from British rule.

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Grilled Salmon* $11.49

*with Potato, Choice of Salad, Coleslaw or Vegetable & Rolls

We hope to see you soon for a great breakfast, wonderful lunch, or fantastic dinner.

Bethany Nevers

– Martha Beck

Liberty Trees

Fried Haddock* $11.99

64 Lewiston Road, Gray • 657-4714 • www.ColeFarms.com JUST ONE MILE NORTH OFF EXIT 63 OF MAINE TURNPIKE

New Homes Sun Rooms Garages Call us for your FREE quote!

“The Difference is in the Details”

Best prices with the highest quality workmanship.

Call 753-9887 or 576-8528

OVER 20 YEARS OF BUILDING EXPERIENCE Fully Insured • Many References Available

Ants go to war similar to humans - They use even more advanced strategies such as sending the weaker ants out to fight first.

Medical terminology explained:

This Month in History - March: Eli Whitney patents the Cotton Gin (1794)

What is the difference between Bird Flu and Swine Flu? For bird flu you need tweetment and for swine flu you need oinkment Submitted by Gene Couillard

indham •

Located

orth W . 115 in N

"A man who has never lost himself in a cause bigger than himself has missed one of life's mountaintop experiences. Only in losing himself does he find himself. Only then does he discover all the latent strengths he never knew he had and which otherwise would have remained dormant."

0

892-822

on Rt

This Month in History - March: The U.S. government issues paper money for the first time. (1862)

LOOK & FEEL FRESH

FOR

– Richard Nixon

SPRING!

Our fun, professional staff can give you the look you’ve been wanting.

Yes, even cute Spring styles like Jessica Alba.

Kutters Korner welcomes Angella & Camille to the team!

We are a full service salon 14 Highland Spring Plaza, Suite A Highland Spring Road, Lewiston

Angella Brissette

Camille Cloutier

2 for 1

786-4311

either a full color or a partial foil

Hours: Tues. Wed. & Thu. 6am - 8pm Fri. 6am - 3pm • Sat. 8am - 1pm

with Angella or Camille

Using your friend’s Netflix account to watch movies is actually considered a federal crime.

(2 people for the price of 1)

only $80 Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo

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Sleeping on your left side is better for digestion.

Out ’n About with Miami Mike Uncle Andy’s Digesters welcome to March! It’s the end of winter and the beginning of spring! The days are getting longer and the snow banks are getting shorter. Anyone with a heartbeat waits with eager anticipation for the NCAA’s March Madness Basketball as well as St. Patrick’s Day. What’s not to love days and days of nonstop basketball entertainment and none of that Primma Donna, I’m the center of the Universe garbage these overpaid pro athletes give us. I’m talking about fast passionate competition where every player on the court has more heart than their chest can contain. I’m talking basketball that would keep Jay Mitchell and I glued to the TV for hours on end despite countless attempts from Bret and Bitzy to distract us. Not even the perfectly portioned snacks provided by Mrs. Mitchell, which always had the optimum amount of nutrition growing boys need without an overindulgence of preservatives. Now be sure to keep track of the days because you don’t want to be waist deep in beverage cans searching for 2013 on your Mayan calendar and completely miss St. Patrick’s Day. I mean really I don’t believe it gets too much better than drinking green adult beverages. St.

Amazing Photography

Patty’s day is the only one out of the 365 you can have a cold frosty green brewski and not be shunned as the village idiot. Not to go into details but trust me digesters I tried it in September and took a Dooney & Bourke to the side of the head. No one wants to get whacked by a handbag especially one with a duck on it. So take advantage of this great holiday and celebrate the authentic Irish way at Irish Twins Pub! They are right on Main St. in Lewiston and while you are there tell them Miami mike sent ya! They will surly reply “Who?” or perhaps they may even charge you double, so maybe just show up and tip a greenie back for me!

Now with a great night out comes a rough morning in. Rather than attempting to finish off the box of stale generic “Fruity O’s” get out to Eggceptional.

They are located in Poland

on Rt 26, right on the way to the Oxford Casino.

Don’t worry if your morning wakeup call does not come until mid morning they have breakfast food on the menu all the time! You couldn’t ask for a better omelet anywhere so don’t even bother just head out there and give your taste buds a well deserved treat! For now, Do Svidaniya Digesters, which is Russian for Goodbye, don’t get hung up in the Red Sox Spring training record it doesn’t count! May Uncle Andy’s Digest provide you with the inspiration to always keep your lug nut tight, but not too tight, torqued down to the appropriate psi.

Watching too much TV is just as dangerous as smoking and lack of exercise.

Matt, Jamie & Elise The Chick-a-dee of Lewiston Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo

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89% of the people feel uncomfortable when the TV volume is an odd number.

This Month in History - March: Silly putty is invented. (1950)

Winner, winner Gippers Dinner!

BACKGROUND CHECKS Pre-Employment Local, State, National and Federal Criminal History

includes: • SSN Verification/Address Verification • InstaNational Criminal History • Federal Criminal History • Maine SBI Criminal History • Sex Offender/Violent Offender search all states • Interpol / FBI most wanted • Terrorist watch list

$45.00

Tenant Screening

$49.99

State and National Criminal History

includes: • SSN verification/Address verification • InstaNational criminal History • Maine SBI criminal history • Sex Offender/Violent Offender search all states • Interpol / FBI most wanted • Terrorist watch list • Trans Union Credit Report w/ credit score • National Eviction Check (Civil courts, all states)

A La Carte Pricing National Criminal History including Sex Offender all states ................................$18.99 SSN Address Verification.................................................2.75 Employment Credit report ...............................................9.00 Tenant Credit Report w/ score ........................................9.00 State of Maine SBI check...............................................24.00 State of ME drivers license history .................................9.00

Personal and professional reference checks ..............$10.00 Education verification....................................................15.00 Prior Employment verification......................................10.00 Professional License verifications.................................10.00 Single state Eviction check...............................7.00 per state National Eviction Check ................................................11.00

Other verification and Private Investigator services are available.

All searches are conducted and filtered by a licensed private investigator to meet FCRA regulations to reduce your liability.

Pre-adverse and adverse action letters and consumer copies provided at no extra charge to help you stay compliant with current FCRA regulations.

Volume pricing is available. Volume customers can be set up to run reports right from their own office for their convenience.

MID MAINE DRUG SCREENING & INVESTIGATIONS Full Service Drug Testing Company & Private Investigator

577-6000 • www.MMDRUGSCREENING.com This Month in History - March: Girl Scouts were founded. (1912)

Kurt Campbell, of Motor Power shows off his gift card to Gippers for winning our “Baby Photo contest” on our Facebook page. Kurt & Rachel Campbell’s granddaughter, Mackenzie took 1st place with 687 votes! This contest was sponsored by Uncle Andy’s Digest. Kurt was pretty happy to be able to have gotten back some of the money he paid UAD for all those years of advertising!

LIKE us on Facebook to join the fun and enter upcoming contests!

Facebook.com/UncleAndysDigest. Call 783-7039 or email editor@UncleAndys.com to become a sponsor of one of our contests.

In 1829, the Siamese twins, Chang and Eng Bunker (two brothers joined at the waist), first arrived in the United States from Thailand (formerly Siam). They each married one of the Yates sisters, Sallie and Adelaide. Eng and Sallie produced 11 children.

Chang and Adelaide were almost as productive, with 10 children.

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Out ’n About at Irish Twins Pub It feels great to be “out ‘n about”...

Happy Birthday, Susette!

One ragweed plant can release as many as one billion grains of pollen!

Assisted Home Care II “Our Family Assisting Your Family.”

Assisted Home Care is Growing Again

Assisting Families since 1997

Assisted Home Care is seeking individuals to work with developmentally disabled adults. If you would like to work in area group homes and you are certified DSP/CRMA, Assisted Home Care would like you to join our team. We are a per diem staff agency that’s family oriented. If you need to adjust your schedule because of the demands on your life, come join our family.

Susette Del Santo & Captain Morgan at Irish Twins for Susette’s birthday bash

On August 12, 1996, Simon & Schuster Audio announced that sales of the audio version of Stephen Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Successful People had just hit the one million mark, thus making it the first platinum audiobook seller.

Assistance In the examination paper, the professor wanted us to sign a form stating that we had not received any outside assistance. Unsure of whether he should sign the form, a student stated that he had prayed for the assistance of God. The professor carefully studied the answer script and then said, "You can sign it with a clear conscience. God did not assist you."

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550 College St., Lewiston • 783-7375 • www.assistedhomecare.org Out ’n About in

Punta Cana, Dominican Republic for a wedding!

Shannon Wilson with the bride & groom,

Wendy & Al Bernadel

Now Enrolling!

yrs.

Ages 6 wks. - 12

We offer preschool & toddler programs, separate rooms for each age group, and a large outdoor play area!

Early Learning Center

301 Sawyer Rd. • Greene

946-KIDS Ask about our multi-child discount and family vacation benefit

The average iceberg weighs 20,000,000 tons!

The term "Mayday" is used for signaling for help. It comes from the French term "M'aidez" which is pronounced "MayDay" and means, "Help Me."

Generators Dealer!

We are a licensed

Portable units available

If your power goes out, your generator goes on – automatically.

• Reliability • Easily Accessible Controls • Framed for Durability • Easy to make effortless electric start, battery included

STANDBY UNITS

It’s really that simple.

FULL INSTALLATION AVAILABLE! CALL FOR MORE INFO ELECTRICAL SYSTEMS OF MAINE ELECTRICAL CONTRACTORS

1200 Minot Ave., Auburn • 783-7126

ElectricalSystemsOfMaine.com

Spain literally means 'the land of rabbits.'

HENSON’S AUTO REPAIR Mike & Jay Henson ASE Certified Techs $

60.00

per hour

labor rate 84 Adams Ave. Lewiston, Maine

Grammie’s Cottage Gift Shop

• Major & Minor Auto Repairs • Domestic & Foreign • State Inspections • Computer Diagnostics

• Holiday Gifts • Jewelery • Homemade Crafts • Souvenirs Open Wed.-Sun.

Mon-Fri 8am-5pm

782-5202

(207) 346-0178

11 Mechanic Falls Road Welchville Junction, ME

Snow Plowing and Removal Commercial & Residential • Snow Blowing • Fully Insured • Seasonal Pre-paid Options • Basic snowplow contracts starting at $15 per push*

KERRIE ROBBINS Varney Agency

* includes the shoveling of one main walkway & door

800-318-3577

207-786-0417 232 Center St., Auburn www.varneyagency.com

creativepropertymaintenance.com

John Wilkes Booth's brother once saved the life of Abraham Lincoln's son.

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Memory Technique

Michael Nesmith's (The Monkees) mother, Bette Nesmith, invented Liquid Paper.

Submitted by Jimbo

A new preacher had just begun his sermon.

He was a little nervous and about ten minutes into the talk his mind went blank. He remembered some advice they gave him in seminary school for when a situation like this arose -- repeat your last point. Often this will help you remember what should come next. So he gave it a try.

"Behold, I come quickly," he said. Still his mind was blank. So he tried again, "Behold, I come quickly!" Still nothing.

He tried once more, this time with so much vehemence that he tripped over his microphone wire and fell off the stage, right into the lap of a little old lady in the front row.

The young preacher was very embarrassed and tried to apologize, and the woman replied, "That's all right, young man. It was my fault...I should have gotten out of the way. You told me three times you were coming!"

Out of all the Hollywood movies ever made, only 5% are directed by women.

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CWP courses

$100 per person. 8 hrs lunch, refreshments included.

Need a pistol and 100 rounds of ammo plus eye and ear protection.

See you there!

Joseph Cimino

481 Maine Street, Poland Spring • 998-2806 Open 7-days a week: Monday - Saturday 11am - 7pm; Sunday 12pm - 6pm

ANDROSCOGGIN TITLE COMPANY 95 MAIN STREET • AUBURN, MAINE 04210 Title Insurance • Title Searches • Real Estate Closings

Bart Kelsea, President (207) 784-6413

You Name It, We Frame It! Custom Picture Framing you’ll treasure forever!

Our Affordable, Everyday Pricing 8x10 .........................$20 16x20 .......................$30 20x24 .......................$40 24x36 .......................$50

Sports memorabilia, artwork, family photos & so much more!

Silver, Gold or Black metal frames only.

Expert Custom Framing & Quality Personal Service!

23 Cross Street, Auburn • 786-4333

Along with the best selection of frames and mats for prints, pictures or keepsakes.

Dan Williams, owner

The longest U.S. highway is route 6 starting in Cape Cod, Massachusetts going through 14 states, and ending in Bishop, California.

New Mexico boasts the largest concentration of Ph.D. scientists per capita in the United States.

Amazing Photography

Live Healthier. Spend Less.

Are you energetic?

Are you a motivated self-starter?

Do you have the confidence to close the deal?

Do you want to determine how much you make?

Can you be assertive?

Blueberry Jelly Bellies were created especially for Ronald Reagan.

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The first episode of the classic TV comedy The Andy Griffith Show aired on CBS-TV on October 3, 1960. The show, itself a spin-off of The Danny Thomas Show, spawned its own spin-off series, Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C. (1964), a sequel series, Mayberry R.F.D. (1968), and a reunion telemovie, Return to Mayberry (1986).

In 1908, Henry Simon Winzeler founded the Ohio Art Company, makers of the Etch-ASketch toy. Today, Etch-A-Sketch is still one of the cornerstones of the activity aisle in the Ohio Art Company.

Compact discs read from the inside to the outside edge, the reverse of how a record works.

UPCOMING EVENTS

Feb. 16 - Mar. 16 - Spring Savings Begin!! Mar. 14,15,16 - Hot Winter Nights Up to $500 extra for your trade toward select new Yamaha MC or ATV. 20% OFF any installed motorcycle accessories

AWESOME COLLECTION OF PRE-OWNED MOTORCYCLES GREAT FINANCING RATES AVAILABLE LAYAWAY PROGRAM WITH NO INTEREST AND FREE STORAGE UNTIL 4/15/2013

Thursday: Munchies & beverages at 5pm Tech Seminar on Helmet Fit & Features 5:45pm Tech Seminar on Preseason Motorcycle & ATV Maintenance 6pm Tech Seminar on Textile vs. Leather Riding Apparel 6:15pm Spin The Wheel - with all Motorcycle & ATV purchases (up to $400 GC) An extra 10% OFF Cut the deck - with any accessory or apparel purchase over $25 (3 days only).

Selected Apparel & Helmet Discounts (3 days) 20%-75% OFF!!

Like us on Facebook

845 Main Street • Lewiston Making Buying Easy – Whatever It Takes

Come learn the Okinawan system of Isshin-Ryu Karate.

(207) 689-2345 www.centralmainepowersports.com

First Day of Spring is March 20th!

Are you ready?

I sure am!

Quack!!

New school now open! Join anytime!

1002 Minot Ave., Auburn

Cologne Cathedral In 1880, more than 600 years after it was started, the Cologne Cathedral in Germany was finally completed. It was begun in 1248. The cathedral's most sacred treasure is the Shrine of the Three Magi, a magnificent gilded sarcophagus thought to hold the remains of the Three Wise Men. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo

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You'll Laugh With lots of humor, Imus is joined by Warner, Bernie, Lou and Dagen. Add comedians Tony Powell & Rob Bartlett, starting your day is more fun.

L-A’s WEZR RADIO

1240

You'll Learn Imus asks tough questions of celebrities, politicians and media stars and they still come back for more.

Combine that with our award winning local news and your mornings are complete.

Listen to AM 1240 weekdays 6 to 10 AM

The slogan on New Hampshire license plates is 'Live Free or Die'. These license plates are manufactured by prisoners in the state prison in Concord.

Every photograph of an American atomic bomb detonation was taken

by Harold Edgerton.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Travis is sweet, and Jimbo is too!

When it comes to prom, we think every girl deserves to feel like a queen. We’re asking for your donation of a gently worn prom dress for local teens to wear on their special night.

Patti Gagne Allstate Insurance

The Blush staff would like to say thank you by giving each guest who donates a dress a

The Bingham Canyon copper mine in Utah is the biggest manmade hole on Earth. It is more than half a mile deep and 2.5 miles across. An astronaut can see this hole from the space shuttle with his bare eyes.

Miami Beach pharmacist Benjamin Green invented the first suntan cream by cooking cocoa butter in a granite coffee pot on his wife's stove, and then testing the batch on his own head. His invention was introduced as Coppertone Suntan Cream in 1944.

The working section of the piano is called the action. There are about 7,500 parts here, all playing a role in sending the hammers against the strings when keys are struck.

Elvis had a twin brother named Jesse Garon, who died at birth, which is why Elvis' middle name was spelled Aron; in honor of his brother.

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What a BAD DAY looks like...

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Wyoming was the first state to allow women to vote.

In space, astronauts cannot cry, because there is no gravity, so the tears can't flow!

More people use blue toothbrushes, than red ones.

Passing Notes An elderly couple are attending a church service.

About halfway through, she writes a note and hands it to her husband.

It says, "I just let out a silent fart, what do you think I should do?"

He scribbles back, "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."

Temperature Records

There are more plastic flamingos in the U.S, than real ones.

The temperature soared to 104 degrees at San Diego, CA. Southern California was in the midst of a late October heat wave that year. Los Angeles had ten consecutive days with afternoon highs reaching 100 degrees.

"It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things."

– Leonardo da Vinci Temperature Records On January 22 1943, the temperature at Spearfish, South Dakota rose from minus 4°F at 7.30am to 45°F at 7:32 am. A 50°F rise in just two minutes!

The only repealed amendment to the US Constitution deals with the prohibition of alcohol.

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo

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What a BAD DAY looks like...

The quarries where the Romans extracted travertine for the Colosseum and other great structures are still being mined today.

Home Parties & Boutique We carry the finest lingerie from petite to plus sizes. Shoes size 5 to 14 Visit our boutique with this coupon

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*not to be combined with any other offers, coupon, or home party • Exp. 3.31.13

20 Main St., 3rd floor, Suite #1 • Sabattus • M-Th 6-9, Sat 9-2 This Month in History - March: Chester Greenwood of Farmington, Maine patented the earmuffs, originally called them "Champion Ear Protector". (1877)

Facebook Contest Now thru March 12th

Dad’s Place is celebrating their 10th anniversary! www.dadsplace.info

Enter to WIN

a $100 Gift Card to Mac’s Grill

Go to our Facebook page Facebook.com/UncleAndysDigest or scan this QR code with your smart phone The Union ironclad, Monitor, was the first U.S. ship to have a flush toilet.

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo

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Contest started 2.10.13 and runs thru 3.12.13 - the winner will be published in our April edition.

This Month in History - March: Coca Cola is invented. (1886)

The name of the first airplane flown at Kitty Hawk by the Wright Brothers, on December 17, 1903, was Bird of Prey.

Book your Bridal Party with us and Receive a $50 Gift Card for your special day!

We add tranquility to your special day by providing you with exceptional services, a spacious and elegant bridal suite, two dressing rooms for your comfort, and light refreshments.

• Hair Up-Do’s & Design • Make-up Application • Skin Care Treatments • Electrology • Manicures & Pedicures • Body Scrubs • Relaxing Massages • Body Waxing

Use # 10,321 for Uncle Andy’s Digest Sunvisor

Asher MacKenzie Asher’s mom, Stacey MacKenzie submitted this really cute picture of her son using his copy of Uncle Andy's as a sun visor... he fell asleep like this!

I read the Digest cover to cover... okay, maybe my mom reads it to me. But it comes in pretty handy in more ways than one!

Contact our Event Coordinator to schedule a consultation and tour of our spa.

www.cassiels.com 71 EAST AVENUE • LEWISTON, MAINE

(207) 783-3321 This Month in History - March: Ice jams stop the flow of water over Niagara Falls.

(1848)

Asher MacKenzie wide awake and well rested.

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Amazing Photography

A woman's chances of having twins increases after 35 years of age.

FROM STONE DUST TO ROC

Our Gravel Pit is located at 168 Midd mile from the Maine Turnpike. We hav gates. Pick up and delivery are availab

Locally owned and operated since 1970!

Our delivery area. Visit our website for pricing on all of our products.

784-7944 www.stlaurentandson.com Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo

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Chickens are the closest living relatives of the T-Rex.

Pigeons can fly straight upwards.

Amazing Photography

CK, WE HAVE IT IN STOCK!

dle Road (Rt. 9) in Sabattus. The gravel pit is conveniently located less than a half ve a large scale crushing/processing operation and offer a wide variety of aggreble. Call our office for pricing or order online at www.stlaurentandson.com.

Q: Did you hear about the self help group for compulsive talkers?

A: It's called On & On Anon.

In 1964, one Louisiana high school basketball team beat another 211 to 29, the most lopsided high school basketball game ever played.

In 1803, the U.S. bought the Louisiana Territory from France.

At a cost of less than $20 per square mile, it was one of history's greatest real estate deals.

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

Humans cannot walk in a straight line without a visual point - When blindfolded, humans will gradually walk in a circle.

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo

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Out ’n About in

There’s actually a word for the day after tomorrow -- Overmorrow.

Punta Cana, Dominican Republic for a wedding!

I may have dropped the Digest in the water by mistake... but it sure does make for a funny story.

Auburn Plaza Family Dentistry Yen-Chang Chen, D.M.D. Dr. Chen is now accepting new patients at his new location.

730 Center Street Auburn (Big Lots) Plaza

783-1351

Mon.-Fri. 7-5pm

We are a preferred Northeast Delta provider

Shannon Wilson with her favorite publication, Uncle Andy’s Digest

Freud had a bicycle as a child, and he often took it apart, as he was very interested in what made it work.

Thus began his interest in cycle analysis.

What do you call a movie made by a conartist that is very interesting?

A con-flick of interest!

auburnplazafamilydentistry.com

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis

Rubbing your ears can help relieve an itchy throat.

& Jimbo

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If you started with a penny and doubled it every day for 30 days, you would have $5,368,709.

Amazing Photography

Tenants Frustrating You? Property Owners:

Lose the hassle without losing the control!

Visit our website to see the advantages of Lease Management.

www.yourleasingoffice.com or call 784-2011 for more information This Month in History - March: Ironclad ships the Monitor and the Merrimack battle in the Civil war.

Winner, winner Thai Dinner!

Jackie Rybeck & Yota, center were the winners of our “Pet Photo contest” we ran on our Facebook page with 397 votes. Yota’s caption was: Yota wants bacon, Bacon, BACON!! Flanking the winners are

Randy Runnels & Scott Hill, co-owners of Dojo Digital, were the sponsors of this contest. Jackie received a $50 gift card to Jasmine Cafe in Auburn.

LIKE us on Facebook to join the fun and enter upcoming contests!

Facebook.com/UncleAndysDigest Call 783-7039 or email editor@UncleAndys.com to become a sponsor of one of our contests.

35% of the population is born without wisdom teeth.

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo

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Out ’n About at the Rich Pelletier Auction and Dance

Hypergargalesthesia is the condition of extreme sensitivity to tickling Some people may pass out when tickled.

The two fundraisers for Rich Pelletier raised over $30,000! This will certainly help in a big way pay some of his enormous medical expenses for his continued fight with brain cancer.

Thank you everyone for your generosity and continued support for Rich.

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo

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The oldest bride ever was 102 years old.

When storing homemade cookies, add a slice of bread in an airtight container to keep them soft and chewy.

SHOWER OUT LOUD Partnering with Professionals

Make an appointment with our showroom consultants to get easy access to a “World of Choices,” ideas and advantages.

Glenda Mitchell: 514-1136 gmitchell@redlon-johnson.com

Tim Fox: 514-1137 tfox@redlon-johnson.com

Introducing the new Bluetooth enabled Moxie showerhead & wireless speaker.

Available now at the Redlon & Johnson Kitchen and Bath Center.

Custer's Last Stand On June 25, 1876, General Custer and 262 other men were killed after attacking a Sioux camp near the Little Bighorn. Led by Crazy Horse, it was the last great Indian victory.

"All persons are puzzles until at last we find in some word or act the key to the man, to the woman; straightway all their past words and actions lie in light before us."

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Redlon & Johnson is a wholesale company and does not sell retail

3 Middle Street, Lewiston showroom.redlon-johnson.com

Showroom Hours: Mon., Tues., Wed., Fri. 8AM - 4:30PM Open Thurs. until 6PM APPOINTMENTS RECOMMENDED

The original Cinderella was Egyptian and wore fur slippers.

Try our new whitening system!

Family Friendly Dentistry

Willow Run Dental Association is accepting new patients Come meet our friendly Dentists & Staff

Scott Beckerman, DMD Geraldine Schneider, DMD Jeffrey Sloan, DDS • Family cosmetic dentistry • Emergency same-day care • Most insurance plans accepted

783-0261 One Willow Run Unit 1-B, Auburn

willowrundental.com

The dementors in Harry Potter were meant to symbolize J.K. Rowling's depression.

"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."

– Catherine Ponder

30 Something I was having trouble with the idea of turning 30 and was oversensitive to any signs of advancing age. When I found a prominent gray hair in my bangs, I pointed to my forehead.

"Have you seen this?" I indignantly asked my husband.

"What?" he asked.

"The wrinkles?"

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This Month in History March: Professor Robert Goddard launches the first liquid fuel rocket.

(1926) The Mai Lai Massacre takes place in Vietnam.

(1968) Soviet Union cosmonaut Aleksei Leonov becomes the first person to take a space walk. (1965)

On a clear dark night, the human eye can see a candle flame from as far as 30 miles away.

The Customer is ip nance Partnersh Proud of our Fi ns io Un it ed with local Cr

Elvis Presley joins the U.S. Army. (1958) The European Economic Community (ECC) is established by the Treaty of Rome.

(1957)

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Ludwig von Beethoven dies in Vienna, Austria.

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The Eastman Dry Plate and Chemical Company manufactures the first motion picture film.

(1885)

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