Y ea r! I n O u r 15 th
UNCLE ANDY’S DIGEST The Most Unusual Digest in America
THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE
.com
FREE SEPTEMBER 2010
WOOD PELLET BLOWOUT SALE! 100% Maine Wood Pellets $ave on heating costs Environmentally Friendly Normally $239/ton
10 OFF
$
per ton with this coupon
Limit 1 coupon per ton • Expires 9/30/10
Call Today! ELECTRICAL SYSTEMS OF MAINE
ELECTRICAL CONTRACTORS
1200 Minot Ave., Auburn • 783-7126
www.esmpellets.com
31 Blake St. Lewiston
782-7113 Call Dan Dumont for your FREE Estimate!
138 Main Street, South Paris 744-0290 • 1 800 686-7633 • www.creaserjewelers.com
Back To School Books
The catgut, formerly used as strings in tennis rackets and musical instruments, does not come from cats. Catgut actually comes from sheep, hogs, and horses.
“Walking To School The First Day Back” by Misty Bus “The Day the Car Pool Forgot Me” by I. Rhoda Bike “Can't See The Chalkboard” by Sidney Backrow “Practical Jokes I Played On The First Day Of School” by Major Crackupp “What I Dislike About Returning To School” by Mona Lott “Making It Through the First Week Of School” by Gladys Saturday “Is Life Over When Summer Ends?” by Midas Welbee “What I Love About Returning To School” by I.M. Kidding “Will Jimmy Finally Graduate?” by I. Betty Wont “What Happens When You Get Caught Skipping School” by U. Will Gettitt Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid. – Harlan Miller Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
2 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
Kids Safety Day
Karate for Adults Kids 7-12 years old Pre-Schoolers 3-6 years old
Wednesday, Sept. 22nd 5:30 - 6:15pm
Wednesday, Sept. 29th 7:30 - 8:30pm
Call for more information
Call to Register
Call to Register
FREE Womens Self Defense Seminar
MEMBER: NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF PROFESSIONAL MARTIAL ARTISTS
Pelletier’s Karate Academy I-35 Taylor Hill Road • Lewiston (1-1/2 miles past Marden’s) Email: pelledojo@aol.com • www.pelletierskarate.com
786-3731
Age is of no importance, unless you are a cheese. – Billie Burke
"When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out." – Erma Bombeck
MODERN WOODMEN OF AMERICA September 2010 Saturday, Sept 4 Holy Cross KC Bean Supper (Camp 8609). 607 Lisbon St, Lewiston. 4:00pm – 6:30pm $4.50 per Member, $6.00 per Guest Wednesday Sept 8 Roy’s Allsteak Hamburger (Camp 14437). Center Street, Auburn. 4:00pm – 7:00pm. $4.50 per Member, $5.00 per Guest Sunday, Sept 12 KC Breakfast (Camp 7938) Columbus Drive, Brunswick. 7:30 am– 9:30am $4.00 per Member. $5.00 per Guest. Child under 10 free Tuesday, Sept 14 Luiggi’s (Camp 10589). 63 Sabattus St., Lewiston. 4pm – 7pm $4.00 per Member, $5.00 per Guest Thursday, Sept 23 Green Ladle Culinary Arts LUNCH (Camp 12907)156 East Ave (Lewiston High School), Lewiston. NOON --SHARP. $7.00 per Member, $8.00 per Guest Sunday, Sept 26 KC Breakfast (Camp 7938) Columbus Drive, Brunswick. 7:30am – 9:30am. $4.00 per Member. $5.00 per Guest. Child under 10 free Sunday, Sept 26 Flagship Cinema (Camp 12749) Lewiston/Auburn. $4.50 per Member, $5.50 per Guest. TICKETS ARE LIMITED Please Note: Dates, Prices and Menu are Subject to Change without Notice Dates and Prices are subject to change Tickets need to be purchased at the Modern Woodmen District Office, 184 Webster Street, Lewiston for all activities and can only be picked up the week prior to the activity, Mon - Thurs from 9:00am - 4:00pm (excluding Holidays). FMI call 782-1833.
Auburn Office Activities Wednesday, September 15 11am-1pm. Seniors Lunch & Learn Life Line & Medication Dispensing, with Cathy White St. Louis Parish Hall-Basement 80 Third St - Auburn. $3.00 off; menu will be provided with tickets (must be picked up by 5pm on Thursday, 9/9)
Deb Wagemann*ChFC 800-561-8506 Oxford/Auburn
Monday, September 27 6-8pm. Refreshments Served-No Charge. Life Line & Medication Dispensing, with Cathy White. Auburn Public Library, 49 Spring Street, Auburn. Tuesday, September 28 7-9am. Breakfast. Roy s All Steak Hamburgers, 5 Washington St., Auburn. $2.00 per ticket
Tickets must be picked up @ MWA 67 Minot Ave., Auburn, or you may call Mon-Thur, 9:00am to 5:00pm; at 207-783-8804 or 1-800-561-8506
"When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder." – James H. Boren
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
3
Uncle Andy’s Digest
“The reason they called golf "golf" was all the other 4-letter words were taken.”
MAILING ADDRESS:
PO Box 3363 Auburn, ME 04212 E-MAIL:
editor@UncleAndys.com PHONE: 207 FAX: 207
783-7039 777-3898
www.UncleAndys.com
SEPTEMBER 2010
Staff UNCLE ANDY Day Trader
Quality Customized Denture Work FREE CONSULTATIONS Poorly fitting or broken dentures repaired on-site, usually same-day service! Affordable Dentures • Flexible Payment Plans • Credit/Debit Cards Most Dental Insurances Accepted
Smile Again Dentures
JIMBO
801 Webster Street, Lewiston
Back From The Cape
514-0660
Travis Dow Patriot Man
Maggie Joyce
www.smileagaindentures.com smileagaindentures@gmail.com
Joe & Mike Adkins
Au Revoir Alero
Marty Dow
The highways of life are full of flat squirrels who couldn't make up their minds. – Unknown
Hearing It All
Michele Farrar Forestering
Rolly’s Diner Just good cookin’ and plenty of it!
Uncle Andy’s Digest is published by the first Friday of every month by Maine Mountain Ocean Group, Inc. with offices at 9 Grove Street, Auburn, ME. It is distributed free throughout Central Maine and mailed to subscribers all over the world. Subscriptions are $30/year. Send a $30 check made out to Uncle Andy’s Digest to: P.O. Box 3363, Auburn, ME 04212
Uncle Andy’s Digest is not responsible for typographical errors that may occur in advertisements. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
4 SEPTEMBER 2010
783-7039
There’s a reason all the tables are full, come to Rolly’s and find out for yourself. If there’s a wait... it’s worth it!
Breakfast & Lunch Specials Daily
• Unusual Omelettes • Crepes • Breakfast All Day • Extensive Menu 87 Mill St. New Auburn 753-0171 (for take-out) Mon – Sat 5 am – 2 pm Sunday 7 am – noon
“It's better to have loved a short girl, than never to have loved a tall.”
“Don't cut through the wheat field Granny, you're going against the grain.”
Out & About at the Balloon Festival It’s a great day for a balloon launch!
Accepting New Patients
Big Joe Hamilton Pilot
Hi Mom!
This is the most amazing thing ever! Way better than sliced bread...
"Upsy," said Daisy.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
5
"I wonder why I always feel that I'm stuck right behind the eight ball?" Tom said racking his brain.
“My body may be present, but my mind has already teed off.” – Uncle Andy
Family Relations
FOR YOUTH DEVELOPMENT FOR HEALTHY LIVING FOR SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY
Submitted by Jimbo
Congratulating a friend after her son and daughter got married within a month of each other, a woman asked, "What kind of boy did your daughter marry?"
FAMILY ENRICHMENT PROGRAMS
STARTS SEPT. 7TH, 8 WEEK SESSION
"Oh, he's wonderful," gushed the mother. "He lets her sleep late, wants her to go to the beauty parlor regularly, and insists on taking her out to dinner every night."
• MESSY PLAY Ages 18 mos. & up
"That's sounds lovely," said the woman. "What about your son?"
• LITTLE CHEFS Ages 3 & up
"I'm not so happy about that," the mother sighed. "His wife sleeps late, spends all her time in the beauty parlor, and makes them eat take-out meals!" “My doctor asked me if I'd thought about losing some weight and I told him I'd thought about it for 20 years.” Uncle Andy wants to know why is it if you send something by road it is called a shipment, but when you send something by sea its called cargo? Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
6 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
Mon. & Thurs. 4pm-4:45pm, Tues. 5:30pm-6:15pm, Wed. 12:15pm-1pm, Fri. 10:15am-10:45am. (18 mos. to 4 yrs. Fridays only) All other class times are ages 3 & up
• TUMBLING Ages 18 mos. & up 18 mos. to 3 yrs: Mon. 10:30-11, Wed. 4-4:30pm, Sat. 10:45-11:15. 3 yrs. & up: Mon. 11-11:45, Wed. 4:30-5:15, Sat. 11:15-12:00. Tues. 4pm-4:45pm, Thurs. 10:15-11am, Sat. 9:15-10am
• STORYTIME MOVEMENT 18 mos. & up Wed. 10:15-11am, Sat. 8-8:45am
AUBURN-LEWISTON YMCA 62 TURNER STREET, AUBURN (Next to the county building)
795-4095 www.alymca.org Like the Auburn-Lewiston YMCA on Facebook!
SAVE THE DATE • Sept. 7th: Swim Lessons ages 6mos.-Adult • Sept. 8th: 6 weeks, Youth Field Hockey, grades K-8 CO-ED BASKETBALL SEPTEMBER REGISTRATION • Skills & Drills, ages 4-6 • Rookies, grades K & 1 • Biddy Basketball League, grades 2-6
When the solution is simple, God is answering. – Albert Einstein
Doctors Orders
“Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.”
Submitted by Jimbo
• Plenty of off-street parking • Plenty of seating in our dining room
WEEKLY SPECIALS Mon: 2-14” Pizzas & Pint of Fries $18 Tues: Buy 2 Ham or Salami Italians, get 3rd FREE
8” Cody’s Steak Bomb
Wed: FREE Quart of Fries with purchase of a Jumbo 17” Pizza Thur: FREE Cup of Fries w/ any 10” Pizza Fri:
Fried Dough… $2
Sat: 2 Cheese Slices & Cup of Fries… $3.99 Sun: Cheese Camzone… $4.25
w/ Fries
777-1911 $6.99 Open daily 11am – 9pm
365 Sabattus Street Lewiston
w/ coupon Expires 9/30/10
Affordable! Really! Three meals a day Plus snacks Weekly housekeeping - 24 hour call buttons Transportation to doctors appointments & shopping
All for $1,300 per month!
Openings Available Now! Call for a tour today!!
#433 Rt. 202, PO Box 629, Greene
946-3007 “Maine’s Most Affordable Senior Living Center”
www.mainemeadows.com
My friend Ida was slowly recovering from a heart attack. "Doctor," she pleaded with her cardiologist, "you must keep me alive for the next two years. I want to attend my first grandchild's bar mitzvah." "We'll try," he replied compassionately. In due course Ida gratefully attended the festive rite of passage. Some time later she again spoke to her doctor. "My granddaughter is to be married in 18 months. Please help me to be able to attend her wedding." "We'll do our best," he replied. And my friend happily attended her granddaughter's wedding. Ten years passed. Ida visited her cardiologist regularly and followed his instructions religiously. One morning she called him. "Doctor," she began, "I'm feeling fine, but I have another request to ask of you: Remember how you saw me through to my grandson's bar mitzvah?" "Yes." "And later how you helped me attend my granddaughter's wedding?" "Yes." "Well, as you know I've just celebrated my 80th birthday. And I just bought myself a new mattress." "Yes?" "It has a 20-year guarantee..."
Think for yourself and let others enjoy the privilege of doing so too. – Voltaire
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
7
Out & About at the Balloon Festival
The best way to have a good idea is to have lots of ideas. – Linus Pauling
Toi Lindsay & Brenda St. Amand
“My money says that the guy who wrote "I Believe I Can Fly" has never actually tried it.” Of course he wasnʼt talking about Hot Air Ballooning...
Blake & Sarah Beth Major
Balloon rider rookies veterans
I’m hoping to get some of my photos in Uncle Andy’s next month... Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
8 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
“I am Popeye of Borg. Prepare to be askimilgrated.”
“When a man marries a woman, they become one but the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.”
Fly Off The Handle Submitted by Jimbo
A fly was buzzing along one morning when he saw a lawn mower someone had left out in their front yard. He flew over and sat on the handle, watching the children going down the sidewalk on their way to school. One little boy tripped on a crack and fell, spilling his lunch on the sidewalk. He picked himself up, put his lunch back in the bag and went on. But he missed a piece of bologna. The fly had not eaten that morning and he sure was hungry. So he flew down and started eating the bologna. In fact he ate so much that he could not fly, so he waddled across the sidewalk, across the lawn, up the wheel of the lawn mower, up the handle, and sat there resting and watching the children.
LIVE THREE ONLY AT: 596 Main Street, Oxford (1 mile south of Oxford Plains Speedway) 207-539-8811
"Don't be afraid to go out on a limb. That's where the fruit is." – H. Jackson Browne
There was still some bologna laying there on the sidewalk. He was really stuffed, but that baloney sure did look good. Finally temptation got the best of him and he jumped off the handle of the lawn mower to fly over to the baloney. But alas he was too full to fly and he went splat!, killing him instantly. The moral of the story: Don't fly off the handle when you are full of baloney. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
9
“Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.”
New Native Produce Arriving Daily • Fresh vegetables • Fresh Picked Apples • Cider • Fresh Cheese • Smiling Hill Farms milk ...and more!
72 Lisbon St., in Lisbon
EBT Accepted
Auburn Mall Eye Care Bring in this ad for...
5 OFF
$
& Farm Stand
Fresh homemade pies, bread & donuts on the weekends!
Open 7 Days a Week 9am-5pm
Contact Lenses
(excludes exams) 1 coupon per person Expires 9/30/10
DR. MICHAEL METAYER, O.D.
550 Center Street, Auburn (207) 782-5030
Out & About around the world with Barclay’s Skindivers Paradise Did you know that we’ll give you a free session if you mention our ad in Uncle Andy’s?!
Scuba Diving at it’s best! Look at page 98 right now.
John B. waves at the camera in Bonaire
WE SPECIALIZE IN VOLKSWAGEN & AUDI SALES & SERVICE!
John Foss & Tim Barclay suited up for a dive in Bonaire
FREE Maintenance
INSPECTION on VW & Audi’s Appointment required with this coupon Expires 9/30/10
Dennis P. checking out a sunken ship in Bonaire Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
10 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
dealerworxautosales.com "Man has his will, - but woman has her way." – Oliver Wendell Holmes
AUTOMOTIVE GUIDE
The Test Submitted by Jimbo
A soldier was asked to report to headquarters for assignment. The sergeant said: "We have a critical shortage of typists. I'll give you a little test. Type this," he ordered, giving him a pamphlet to copy and a sheet of paper, and pointing to a desk across the room that held a typewriter and an adding machine. The man, quite reluctant to become a clerk typist, made a point of typing very slowly, and saw to it that his work contained as many errors as possible.
PARTS • SALES • SERVICE WE FEATURE: • Service For All Makes • Parts For All Makes • Sales of New International Trucks • Sales Of Used Trucks Of All Makes
Morrison & Sylvester 1175 Minot Ave. Auburn, ME 04210 783-8548 • www.morrisontruck.net “Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.”
The sergeant gave the typed copy only a brief glance. "That's fine," he said; "Report for work at 8 tomorrow." "But aren't you going to check the test?" the prospective clerk asked. The sergeant grinned. "You passed the test," he replied, "when you sat down at the typewriter instead of at the adding machine." Uncle Andy says laughter is the best medicine...plus, if you laugh hard enough, it's an ab workout, too, and who isn't happier when their body's in better shape? Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 11
“If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one.”
www.emerso
The Back Forty Se
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
12 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
“Locomotive: A crazy reason for doing something.”
“Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason why so few engage in it.” ~ Henry Ford
ontoyota.com
eptember Specials
These deals and a whole lot more!
“Employment applications always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency; I think you should write "911"!”
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 13
“Computers are not intelligent; they only think they are.”
Quality Service at an Affordable Price! We are a complete auto service shop • Diagnostic Specialists • State Inspections • Much, much • Tires & Tire Service more! • Full Brake Service • Complete A/C Service • Alignments
Rick
Ron
Jeremy
Joshua
Don Gilks
Owner
Adv. Master Tech
Technician
Technician
Operations Manager
NEW MAJOR AUTOMOTIVE 250 Broad Street in New Auburn • 783-4933 • www.majorauto.net
Out & About around the world with Barclay’s Skindivers Paradise
"A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book." – Irish Proverb
MAINE PUBLIC CAR AUCTION I-295 Exit 37 to 125 S. • Bowdoinham, Maine 04008
Every Saturday 10:30 a.m. Auction off Buy a car or your car, truck, auction your motorcycle, car for cash! (Bring your title) boat or RV. Maxx Coombs Owner
Call 207-449-3331 CASH
Tim Barclay Bailey's Island Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
14 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
www.mainepubliccarauction.com “Confidence is that feeling you have just before you fully understand the situation.”
Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you. – Satchel Paige
Top 6 reasons to choose Mike Morin’s
This is what happened to me after advertising with Uncle Andy’s Digest for 15 years!
• Expert service & highest quality • Accurate diagnosis of problems
Many patients call the pathology group where I am office manager to discuss their medical bills. One irate woman demanded that I describe every laboratory test on her statement. Reluctantly, I complied. Starting with the first test on her bill, I read, "No. 1, urinalysis."
• Fair & honest quotes • Great customer service • Full service garage, no problem too big or too small
She interrupted me at once. "I'm a what?"
• Best of the best 10 years running for automotive service
FOR SALE AT MIKE MORIN’S 2006 Harley-Davidson Ultra Classic
ONLY $18,500 Cobalt blue & silver, air ride seat, GPS, AM/FM stereo, extra chrome, 2 windshields
Complimentary Coffee & Donuts while you wait • FREE Shuttle Service In L/A
Mike Morin’s Auto Center 1122 Center St., Auburn • 753-0433
Boot Store My first grade daughter and her friend both needed new boots as winter approached. The friend got in the car one morning and finally had gotten her boots. "Beth," I commented, "I see you got new boots. Where did you get them?" "At the store," she answered. "Which one?" I asked. She began looking at her new boots and after a pause said, "Both of them."
“A proud member of the Napa Auto Care Team.”
VW & AUDI SERVICE Lifetime Warranty • Free Estimates Free Pickup and Delivery
See us for Timing Belt & Brake Specials 459 Washington Street in Auburn • 878-9088 • www.rennen.us
“There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4AM. It could be a right number.”
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 15
Math Symbols While reviewing math symbols with my second-grade pupils, I drew a greater-than ( > ) and a less-than sign ( < ) on the chalkboard and asked, "Does anyone remember what these mean?" A few moments passed, and then a boy confidently raised his hand. "One means fast-forward," he exclaimed, "and the other means rewind!"
"It's always a pleasure to find something that matters." – Don Cornelius
CAMERON TIRE & SERVICE, INC. FAMILY OWNED & OPERATED FOR 26 YEARS • Wheel alignment & balancing • Complete brake work • Engine tune-up • Lube-oil-filter • State Inspections • Exhaust systems
OUR TIRES
Child Safety I recall a time when my son was about 18 months old. I had him strapped into a backpack and was rushing to catch the bus. Apparently I mis-stepped and fell down an entire flight of stairs (13 to be exact). I was bruised and bleeding and had torn my jeans ... but my main concern was, naturally, for my child.
Rod & Beth Cameron, owners
60 Minot Ave • Auburn, ME 04210
782-6666 or 783-2026
A PROUD MEMBER OF THE NAPA AUTO CARE TEAM
“You may not like Mondays, but they are one-seventh of your life.”
My fears were alleviated, though, when from behind me I heard a gleeful giggle followed by, "Again!" Erno Rubik, the Hungarian inventor is best known for his invention of the Rubik's Cube in the spring of 1974. One eighth of the world's population has laid hands on the Cube, the most popular puzzle in history. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
16 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
Men have the final authority. But they also have the final say. "Yes dear."
GREAT SELECTION OF QUALITY USED VEHICLES AS LOW AS $8,000 2005 Jeep Wrangler
2007 Toyota Tundra
2006 Honda Civic Coupe
Double Cab
• 4WD • Tow Package • 5-Speed • Removeable • CD Player Soft Top
$
14,300
2004 Toyota 4Runner SR5
• CD • Automatic • ABS
• Running Boards • 4WD
$
13,988
2007 Ford Fusion
• Leather • Traction Control • Automatic • CD Changer • 66K • Heated Mirrors
$
10,988
• V8 • 4x4 with • Bed Liner Traction • Tow Package Control
$
17,988
2006 VW Passat
• Leather • 39K • Automatic • Loaded • Turbo • Roof
$
14,988
2007 Volvo S60
• Automatic • Turbo • Leather • Premium • 60K Alloy Wheels
$
13,988
• Automatic • Keyless Entry
• Loaded • Sunroof • CD Player
$
9,988
2006 VW Jetta GLI
• 6-Speed • Loaded • Leather • Keyless Entry • 59K • Alloy Wheels
$
15,900
2003 Passat 4Motion GLX
• V6 • Loaded • Automatic • Leather • 94K • AWD • CD
$
8,988
Servicing All Makes & Models Maine State Inspection Station 733 Sabattus Street, Lewiston
777-0047 • www.laautocompany.com
Out & About with Miami Mike
AUTOMOTIVE GUIDE Le t’s Go Hunting! MORE TO GO ON We have ATV Gun racks & cases
Welcome Uncle Andy’s Digest Nation! Yes, as a loyal reader of the locally owned and operated Uncle Andy’s Digest you are automatically part of the Uncle Andy’s Digest Nation! And I know you are thinking, is that good? Let Miami Mike fill you in on that answer. NO… it’s not good… it’s GREAT! You should be very proud to be a part of the UADN! So anyway, I recently fulfilled my civic duty and donated my services to help campaign for a local city commissioner. I was thinking, sure I can hold a sign and wave at people… no problem. Ladies and gentlemen, that was the longest day of my life. Is that an exaggeration you ask? Technically no. Time passes at the same rate, however to stand holding a sign on a splintery piece of wood in the Miami heat in a neighborhood primarily filled with AARP members, seven minutes felt enough time to solve the Da Vinci’s code and then write a Cliff’s Notes book explaining it. A little advice for all you digesters, first get out and support your local civic leaders, it is your civic right and duty. Secondly, get a membership at your local YMCA and take a few turns on the Stairmaster, it won’t kill you. Thirdly, schedule an appointment at St. Mary’s Hospital because after 12 hours standing you will have some issues, and they can help you whether it be physical or mental. And lastly, have whomever you are assisting, go down to Costal Metal Fab to pick up one of their rugged Boss snow plows to push the competition aside like a snow drift in Granny’s driveway. Until the next issue of the Digest, I’m Miami Mike, welcome to the Uncle Andy’s Digest Nation and Goodbye!
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
18 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
Check out our Arctic Cat riding apparel & accessories, too!
AMES
84 Littlefield Road • Auburn • 782-4917
SPORTS SHOP
(off Hotel Road & across from Merrow Road)
Uncle Andy came to the conclusion that stupidity is a nationality.
Pre-Winter SALE!!!! Starting at
$
149
Installed*
Includes 2 remotes, 1000ʼ range Lifetime warranty
Sabattus St. Lewiston
754-7873 “He who hesitates is not only lost but is miles from the next exit.”
$
13,500 2004 Chevy 2400 HD Extended Cab, 4WD
$
10,000 2001 Ford F250
Extended Cab, 98K, 8’ Minute Mount Plow
www.MandPautosales.com
Pretty Punny: "Carpe diem" - Sieze the day; "Carp in denim" - There's a fish in my pants!
$
9,500
2007 Pontiac Grand Prix 62K, Silver, Sharp Car, Aluminum Wheels, PW, PL, AC, FWD
$
8,500
2001 GMC 3500 Rack Body, 2WD, No Dump, 42K
2002 Ford F350 Superduty, 109k, Auto, 8 ft. Minute Mount Plow . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$12,000 1999 F350 Superduty, 230K, 7.3 Diesel, Previous Ambulance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$4,500
M & P AUTO SALES Roosevelt Trail, North Windham • Call Scott Rioux at 892-0932 or 754-4867 "Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old." – Franz Kafka
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 19
Out & About at the Balloon Festival
Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous. – Unknown
Real l Dea
AUTO SALES AND SERVICE CENTER
257 Washington Ave. • Auburn • 784-5114
Nick & Randy Fess Dreams are but thoughts until their effects be tried. - William Shakespeare
2001 TOYOTA TUNDRA
2007 GMC SIERRA
One Owner
One Owner
$7,995
$16,900
2007 VW JETTA
Realal De
DUKE & KEVIN 2003 JEEP WRANGLER
Wolfsburg Edition One Owner
AUTO SALES
New Top!
$11,995
realdealmaine.com
$8,495
2003 VW BEETLE
2003 VW PASSAT GLS
2005 BMW 325Xi
One Owner
One Owner
$7,995
$7,495
$10,995
257 Washington Ave. • Auburn • 784-5114 Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
20 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
"Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home." – Bill Cosby
AUTOMOTIVE GUIDE
We’ve updated our fleet to better serve you!
Out & About with New Auburn Social Club’s Cruiz Night Submitted by Steve Martelli
Established in 1984
• We service your local dealers Lee Auto Mall • Rowe Ford • All Motor Clubs • We service local and state police • We do not do repos or private parking lot towing!
24/7 WRECKER SERVICE
Quick, close the door kid. Let’s go for a ride!
DON’S One coupon per customer
NO PREFERENCE TOWING CO. OF L/A 188 Washington St. • Auburn, ME 1-800-957-8697 • 784-4619 WE TOW ANYTHING!
Ask for Don or Debbie
If you're even half-way old, you will remember when: An 8-track tape the size of a paperback book was an advanced concept in compact music recording.
Dr. Wilson asks his patient, "Which do you want first, the good news or the bad news?" The patient replies, "Give me the good news." Dr. Wilson says, "You're about to have a disease named after you." Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 21
If you're even half-way old, you will remember when: The only thing you knew about Robin Williams was he played a weird alien named "Mork" on television.
SAM’S BODY SHOP
MOTORCYCLE INSPECTION STATION We work on all American-Made Motorcycles
V-RODS ROAD-RODS
Custom Trailer Hitches Sold & Installed Trailer Repairs
140 Riverside Drive Auburn, Maine 04210
Serviced & Built
Call for Info 207-782-9400 info@v-shop.us
886 Main St. Lewiston • 784-0015 • Open Mon. Wed. Fri. 8:00-4:00
www.v-shop.us Any Make, Any Model Any Problem…
Full recons available. Call for an appointment
NO PROBLEM!
$
55/hr. LABOR RATE Fully Warranteed & Certified
Steve Dubois Owner
865 Sabattus Street, Lewiston 333-3004
liquidsunshinecarwash.com
A cattle rancher went into town on a Saturday night for a sit-down steak dinner. When the waiter brought him his steak it was rare--very rare. Too rare. The cowpuncher looked at it and demanded that it be returned to the kitchen and cooked. "It is cooked," snapped the waiter. "Cooked--nothing," replied the cowpuncher. "I saw a cow that was hit by a train that was hurt worse than this."
Brad Johnson
Brad’s Precision Auto 333-0364 144 Riverside Dr., Auburn Out & About around the world with Barclay’s Skindivers Paradise Barry, most people probably don’t know that “Scuba” was originally an acronym for Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus.
Good stuff, Ben. Ya know, I’m thinking of dressing up as Scuba Steve on Halloween. Whadda think?
GOT HEAT?? FREE Pre-winter Checkup With Ad
Ben Q. & Barry S. Bailey's Island Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
22 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
If you're even half-way old, you will remember when: A 1-gig hard drive seemed as big as a warehouse.
AUTOMOTIVE GUIDE
Out & About with Toni Ferarro Photography
10% OFF with this ad
Complete Auto & Truck Repair • Front End Alignments • Engine Diagnostics • Custom Exhaust • Tires, Batteries
• Transmission Flush • State Inspections • Complete Front End Work • Tune-ups
Ron Moon, Manager
35 Lewiston Rd. • Gray, ME 04039
207-657-5000
ow doing N • Boat Seats and Interiors
Check! us out
• Motorcycle Seats • Convertible Tops
CUSTOM UPHOLSTERY
For all your upholstery needs FREE ESTIMATES 28 Riverside Drive, Auburn • 782-3822
A-PLUS AUTO REPAIR WE ARE THERE FOR YOU!
We repair and replace rocker panels
We’ve gotta keep practicing our repair skills for a few more years before Dad will let us work on some real machinery!
See us for a quote
786-0522 41 Millett Drive, Auburn Located in the former Hebert’s Auto Building
Cayden & Chance
If you're even half-way old, you will remember when: No normal person had speakers on a computer.
“To the people who leave their carts in the check-out line while running to get an item they forgot: It's me who puts the extra items in there.” – Uncle Andy Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 23
Out & About at the Balloon Festival
If you're even half-way old, you will remember when: There was a guy on "60 Minutes" named Mike Wallace who was so old you figured he'd retire at the latest by 1990.
Being part of the balloon crew was awesome!
I agree! Where being full of hot air is a good thing!!
Beth Hamilton Pilot Uncle Andyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
24 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
If you're even half-way old, you will remember when: Sean Connery was Pierce Brosnan.
“You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.”
Classic Car Rebuilds, Restorations & Service • Brake Service • Custom Exhaust • Shocks & Struts • Used Car Sales • Tires • Tune-ups • Rust Repair & Body Work • Engine Overhauls • Transmission Overhauls • Custom Paint • Motorcycle Tanks & Fenders • Restorations & Rebuilds
Bring your classic car to...
THE SHOP
On September 19, 1783 Pilatre De Rozier, a scientist, launched the first hot air balloon called 'Aerostat Reveillon'. The passengers were a sheep, a duck and a rooster and the balloon stayed in the air for a grand total of 15 minutes before crashing back to the ground. The first manned attempt came about 2 months later on November 21st, with a balloon made by 2 French brothers, Joseph and Etienne Montgolfier. The balloon was launched from the center of Paris and flew for a period of 20 minutes. The birth of hot air ballooning!
304 Lisbon Road • Lisbon
353-6100
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." – Charles Schulz Out & About at the Balloon Festival
Some Hot Air Ballooning History
All in the family
Just 2 years later in 1785 a French balloonist, Jean Pierre Blanchard, and his American co pilot, John Jefferies, became the first to fly across the English Channel. In these early days of ballooning, the English Channel was considered the first step to long distance ballooning so this was a large benchmark in ballooning history. Unfortunately, this same year Pilatre de Rozier (the world's first balloonist) was killed in his attempt at crossing the channel. His balloon exploded half an hour after takeoff due to the experimental design of using a hydrogen balloon and hot air balloon tied together. The next major pivotal point in balloon history was on January 7, 1793. Jean Pierre Blanchard became the first to fly a hot air balloon in North America. George Washington was present to see the balloon launch.
Big Joe, Beth & Little Joe Hamilton Hot air balloon pilots
"Make your life a mission --- not an intermission." – Arnold Glasgow
Now a large jump in time, of over 100 years: In August of (continued on next page)
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 25
(continued from previous page)
1932 Swiss scientist Auguste Piccard was the first to achieve a manned flight to the Stratosphere. He reached a height of 52,498 feet, setting the new altitude record. Over the next couple of years, altitude records continued to be set and broken every couple of months - the race was on to see who would reach the highest point.
EXPERIENCED QUALITY SERVICE QUALITY REPAIRS SINCE 1979 CARS • LT. TRUCKS • SUVs – We service them all We perform manufacturer’s vehicle maintenance and scheduled services
FMI about ballooning go to www.eballoon.org/history/hi story-of-ballooning.html
A sales clerk asked his boss how to handle people who complained about the current prices compared to the low prices in the good old days. "Just act surprised and tell them you didn't think that they were old enough to remember them." Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
26 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
• Chassis, alignment
• Fuel systems
• Shocks, struts
• Engine performance
• And more!
• Brakes, exhaust
• State Inspection
HORSEPOWER AUTOCARE, INC.
In 1935 a new altitude record was set and it remained at this level for the next 20 years. The balloon Explorer 2, a gas helium model reached an altitude of 72,395 feet (13.7 miles)! For the first time in history, it was proven that humans could survive in a pressurized chamber at extremely high altitudes. This flight set a milestone for aviation and helped pave the way for future space travel. The Altitude record was set again in 1960 when Captain Joe Kittinger parachute jumped from a balloon that was at a height of 102,000 feet. The balloon broke the altitude record and Captain Kittinger, the high altitude parachute jump record. He broke the sound barrier with his body!
• Transmission Flushes
Maineʼs AAA Approved Repair Facility since 1990!
44 Roosevelt Trail, Rt. 302 • Windham • 892-9420 • 1-800-339-9420 Monday - Friday 8am-5pm • www.horsepowerautocare.com
Bob & Bonnie Merrill, owners
UNCLE ANDY’S SPECIAL
$
3 OFF
Expires 10-31-10
Coupon Code: UANDY
STAR SERVICE OIL CHANGE Star Service Price is $29.95, up to 5 qts. Havoline Motor Oil (5w20, 5w30 or 10w30), Havoline Oil Filter, 18-20 point check, 4x4's add $1, plus taxes and fee.
Winter’s Coming! Think Sound Effects… Now taking appointments for remote starters.
777-3339 625 Washington Street, Auburn
www.soundeffectsmaine.com
"Every job is a self-portrait of the person who did it. Autograph your work with excellence." – Jessica Guidobono
NO WONDER YELLOW PLOWS ARE TURNING RED From rugged, reliable Straight-Blades to fast, versatile multiposition plows, the best products in the snowplow industry are made by THE BOSS. And the same holds true for service and support. Not only will Coastal Metal Fab help you find the right plow for your jobs, but weʼll also be your ultimate BOSS plow expert as long as you own your plow. YOUR GO-TO GUYS WHEN IT COMES TO: • HELP. From simple advice to expert assistance, Coastal Metal Fab is there to answer all of your BOSS snowplow questions. • PREP. Getting your BOSS ready for the season is easy. Just call to make an appointment for your annual checkup. • PARTS. Coastal Metal Fab will make sure THE BOSS parts you need for service or repairs are always ready.
Out & About at the Balloon Festival
Mooooo!
"You don't have to be a person of influence to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me." -- Scott Adams
COASTAL METAL FAB 747 MINOT AVE. AUBURN, ME
207-782-4111
PUSHING THE EDGE
coa stal me ta l fa b .c o m
b o s s p l o w . c o m
What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. – Yiddish proverb
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 27
Out & About in the New Auburn Neighborhood
"A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle." – Benjamin Franklin
Submitted by Steve Martelli A neighborhood picnic was held in July at Raymond Park. There Leroy Walker of New Auburn Social Club and Kenny, owner of Rolly's Diner were at the grill. Joanne Labrie donated the Bouncy House and many people donated food and goody's to eat and drink. The event was put on by the United New Auburn Association and sponsored by Andy's Baked Beans, New Auburn Social Club, Rolly's Diner and Happy Days Diner.
To view the complete inventory of 50 vehicles, visit our website
www.donovansauto.com 946-7515 • 1-800-811-8856 Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
28 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
“Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make them all yourself.”
Odd Phrases
“Listening to choral music is an acquired taste.”
TURNING MEMORIES INTO WORKS OF ART Most offers come with a hook. This is ours.
Along with the best selection of frames and mats for prints, pictures or keepsakes.
Expert Custom Framing Quality Personal Service at affordable prices!
23 Cross Street, Auburn • 786-4333
For prints, pictures, needlework, diplomas, sports memorabilia and more!
Gram & Dan Williams
If you make it plain you like people, it's hard for them to resist liking you back. – Lois McMaster Bujold
Pick Your Own! Fresh Hot Donuts Watch them being made! Open 7 Days a Week 9am-5pm
Also Farm Fresh Milk & Visit The Donkeys
By calling Wyman’s Collision today! From dings & dents to complete overhauls and custom paint jobs.
See us for a FREE ESTIMATE and $AVE! Dan Wyman, Owner
WE NOW SERVICE & RECHARGE A/C SYSTEMS
Phone: 333-3231
Ferry & Cotton Rd., Lewiston • 783-0875
1164 Minot Ave. (behind Dealer Worx)
Farm Stand NOW open at 72 Lisbon St., in Lisbon "Confound these ancestors.... They've stolen our best ideas!” – Ben Jonson
THE CUMMINGS AGENCY, INC. INSURANCE 9 South Main Street Mechanic Falls, ME •
(207) 345-8711 • 1-800-339-0414
Jeffrey R. Cummings • Nora W. Cummings
Porter
AUTOS • HOMEOWNERS MOTORCYCLES • BUSINESS Nessie
Boo
Dog gonnit… We want your business!
The ancient Romans built such an excellent system of roads that the saying arose "all roads lead to Rome," that is, no matter which road one starts a journey on, he will finally reach Rome if he keeps on traveling. The popular saying came to mean that all ways or methods of doing something end in the same result, no method being better than another.
How can you save money without sacrificing quality?
OPEN FOR THE SEASON
Sat. & Sun.
Where did they come from?
CHECK OUT www.secondchanceboxer.com Actual Product Warnings... On an American Airlines package of nuts: Instructions: Open package, eat nuts.
Everyone loves to be loved. – Mark Spitz An oral surgeon was scheduled to extract four wisdom teeth from Jim, a high-school football player, who had opted to be sedated for the procedure. As the intravenous anesthesia was being administered, the doctor asked Jim how he was feeling. "Man," he replied, struggling to keep his eyes open, "I feel like I'm in English class." Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 29
Actual Product Warnings... On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: Keep out of children.
2008 Ford F250 Superduty XLT 4X4
ONE OWNER with ONLY 2,165 miles!!! BRAND NEW 9’ V-plow that has NEVER been used!!
SPECIAL PRICE $ if you mention this ad:
29,995
200 Auburn Road in Turner • 225-2694 4 miles north of Auto Mile
www.kryauto.com One More Time A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, "Read all about it. Fifty people swindled! Fifty people swindled!" Curious, a man walked over, bought a paper, and checked the front page. Finding nothing, the man said, "There's nothing in here about fifty people being swindled." The newsboy ignored him and went on, calling out, "Read all about it. Fifty-one people swindled!" Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
30 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
“When a fellow is kicking, he has only one leg to stand on.”
ATTENTION VEHICLE OWNERS!! Keep your vehicle in tip top shape and running smoothly. Get the most out of your current vehicle Collision Repair & Complete Restorations Engine Work • Brakes • Suspension
Your complete auto stop
782-5500 845 Washington St., Northbound in Auburn • 782-5500 Actual Product Warnings... On Boot's children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.
THURSDAYS Line Dancing Lessons 6pm Karaoke 8pm Beer Pong Sign-ups 9pm
Action-packed Thursdays with DJ B-Set at 9:30pm
FRIDAYS
SATURDAYS
LADIES Night Drink Specials
DJ & your favorites in Tribute Bands, Comedy Acts & More!
DJ & Live Local Entertainment
Every Friday night!
ENTERTAINMENT LINE-UP FRI. SEPT. 10TH
RUIN & GUESTS; MAINE LEAGUE BEER PONG TOURNAMENT (SEE MORE INFO BELOW) SAT. SEPT. 11TH
EMMA’S BENEFIT 3-7PM (SEE MORE INFO BELOW) DIRTY McCURDY 9PM-CLOSE SAT. SEPT. 18TH
MONSTER - MODERN ROCK FRI. SEPT 24TH
FRIDAYS & SATURDAYS
REPEAT OFFENDERS SAT. SEPT 25TH
ALWAYS A DJ IN THE PUB !
FIREWATER CREEK FRI. OCT. 1ST
HOTTER THAN HELL - KISS TRIBUTE BAND SAT. OCT. 2ND
LANDSLIDE SAT. SEPT. 11TH
FRI. SEPT. 10TH
Music Unlimited Promotions along with Gleason Media Services Presents:
MAINE LEAGUE BEER PONG TOURNAMENT
a benefit for emma 3pm-7pm $10/pp at the door
Food & Prize Giveaways • Raffle Live music from: - Strings of Calamity - Marble Socket - Electric Zero - The Motor Creeps
to benefit Emma Dube, age 1 year, who has hepatoblastoma, a rare liver cancer
Space is limited - sign up in advance! Double Elimination
DON’T MISS OUT! maineleaguebeerpong.com Win 5 nights in Las Vegas and entry into World Beer Pong Championships Contact Roland Hale 240-6505 FMI
or find us on Facebook 150 Center St. Auburn • 784-7785 • ClubTexas.info
Uncle Andy’s Trick Photography
There are approximately 75,000,000 horses in the world.
Join the L-A Harley Family for these great events Saturday, Sept. 11th
Sunday, Sept. 5th
3rd Annual
L-A Harley Day at Bentleys Saloon in Arundel Benefit for Mike Blais
8:30am Ceremony at L-A Harley Poker Run Lobster & Steak Feed at VFW, Minot Ave. in Auburn open to the public
Sunday, Sept. 12th
Saturday, Sept. 18th
Bike Night
U.B.M. Annual Toy Run Pancake Breakfast at L-A Harley 8-10:30am
returns to Schemengee’s Billiards 551 Lincoln St. in Lewiston
FOOD & DRINK SPECIALS
Sunday, Oct. Oct. 3rd 3rd Sunday,
Fall Foliage Ride to Mt. Blue
Fundraiser for the Lewiston Police Athletic League
Music by the L-A Harley Band
Benefitting Autism Research Join the family... The L-A Harley-Davidson family Harley Done Different
2011 models are arriving! Stop by for details!
207-786-2822 • WWW.L-AHARLEY.COM Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
32 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
A 1,200-pound horse eats about seven times it's own weight each year.
Actual Product Warnings... On packaging from a Rowenta Iron. Do not iron clothes on body.
The term "dog days" has nothing to do with dogs. It dates back to Roman times, when it was believed that Sirius, the Dog Star, added its heat to that of the sun from July 3 to August 11, creating exceptionally high temperatures. The Romans called the period dies caniculares, or "days of the dog."
Phone Home Vicky was away at a conference in another city. During a short break, she decided to call home but discovered that her cell phone didnʼt get reception around the skyscraper. She noticed a pay phone on the street and decided to call collect. Her 6-yearold son picked up the phone and heard a strangerʼs voice say, “We have Vicky on the line. Will you accept the charges?” Frantic, the 6-year-old dropped the receiver and charged toward his father. “Dad!” he yelled. “They have Mom! And they want money!” From the Catholic Digest Submitted anonymously
"Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all." – John F. Kennedy Actual Product Warnings... On a frozen dinner package: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 33
Loaded Purchase Submitted by Jimbo
If you're even half-way old, you will remember when: Your phone choices and bills were much easier because AT&T was a good old-fashioned monopoly.
There was a farmer, Perley Moore, who had recently bought a truck and found that the "basic price" was only the beginning. Once the salesman had added on all the extras -- towing package, toolbox, fifth-wheel attachment, etc. the price was quite a bit higher. Well, by a strange turn of fate, that same salesman stopped by Perley's farm one day to buy a cow. The dealer examined the herd, picked out a likely specimen, and asked about the price.
This Month’s Specials Roadies Chicken 4-pc. Bone-in Snack $
4.59
Italian Sausage Sub $
4.99
Large 16” Fresh Dough Cheese Pizza $8.50
"That's a hundred-dollar cow," Moore replied directly. "That's fair enough," said the salesman. "I'll take her." "Well, now, that's the basic price," Moore added, getting out pencil and paper. "There are one or two extras, of course." He made a few notes and handed the paper to the dealer. Here is the final invoice: Basic cow: $100 Two-tone exterior: $45 Storage compartment and dispensing device: $60 Four spigots @ $10 each: $40 Genuine cowhide upholstery: $75 Dual horns @ $7.50 each: $15 Automatic fly-swatter: $35
If you're even half-way old, you will remember when: There was this amazing new video game called "Pong" and you thought it had the most advanced graphics imaginable.
NEED A LOAN? We have the financing for you!
Heidi at our Auburn Branch
Total: $370 Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
34 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
Actual Product Warnings... On a hotel-provided shower cap box: Fits one head.
Actual Church Bulletin Bloopers: For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
Out & About at the Balloon Festival I think he said if we gave a thumbs up and a wave that this would go in Uncle Andy’s...
Approximately one out of four injuries by athletes involve the wrist and hand.
Now Open Call for reservations and pricing Open until 10pm • Reservations required after 7pm
Trophy Races 25 Lap 50 Lap 75 Lap
A newborn kangaroo is about 1 inch in length. Amazing discovery: Water found on Mars
7 or more required up to 10
CONCESSION STAND OPEN Actual Church Bulletin Bloopers: Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 35
Upkeep A group of American tourists were being guided through an ancient castle in Europe. "This place," the guide told them, "is 600 years old. Not a stone in it has been touched, nothing altered, nothing replaced in all those years." "Wow," said one woman dryly, "they must have the same landlord I do."
Actual Church Bulletin Bloopers: Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
2003 Saab 9-3 Convertible
$
7,495
2004 Chevy Crew Cab
$
16,495
5-Speed, Leather, 88K, One Owner
2001 BMW X5
Leather, Loaded
2005 Audi Ultra Sport
What A Wonderful World Louis Armstrong, born in 1900 was the leading trumpeter and one of the most influential artists in jazz history. More than a great trumpeter, Armstrong was a bandleader, singer, soloist, film star, and comedian. Trivia fans: On New Year's Day, 1913, Louis Armstrong picked up a pistol in New Orleans and fired it. He was arrested, sent to reform school, and received his first training in music there from Captain Jones.
In 1987, Billy Joel became the first U.S. pop star to launch a concert tour in the Soviet Union. He performed in Moscow and in Leningrad. The twodisc live album Kohuept (the Russian word for concert) was released that October. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
36 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
$
10,495 $14,500
5 Speed, Navigation, Loaded
RARE, 75K, Auto
Other Inventory 06 Suzuki Forenza . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$5,495 05 Toyota Corolla S, Auto 67K, Loaded, Roof . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$9,495 04 Audi A4, Automatic, 56K . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$13,495 04 Suzuki XL7, 89k . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$7,995 04 Jeep Wrangler Unlimited, Soft Top . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$13,695 04 Hyundai Elantra GLS, 88K . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$5,295 03 Lincoln Aviator, Every option known to mankind! . . . . . . . . . . . . .$10,995 02 Dodge Neon SXT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$2,000 02 Nissan Xterra XE, V6, Power Everything, 4X4 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$7,495 02 Hyundai Accent . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$2,995 01 Audi A4 Sport, 2.8L, 5-Speed, New Timing Belt, 96K . . . . . . . . . . . .6,995 01 Audi A4 Wagon, 5-Speed, Leather, Loaded, AWD . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$5,495 01 Audi A6 Wagon, 3rd Row Seat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$5,995 01 BMW 330i AWD, Leather, 87K . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$10,995 01 Saab 9-3, Leather, Loaded . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$4,495 01 Ford Focus, 4-Door, 108K . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$4,495 01 Nissan Xterra . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$5,995 01 Ford F250, Low Miles . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Call for price 00 Jeep Cherokee Classic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$4,795 99 Saab 9-3 Convertible, 108K . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$3,995 99 GMC Sierra, Extended Cab . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$6,295 99 Audi A4, Blue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$5,295 99 Audi A4 1.8T, parts car . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Call for price 99 Audi A4 2.8T Wagon, parts car . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Call for price
98 Audi A4, Loaded . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$3,995 97 Acura CL Coupe . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$1,995 97 Audi A6 Quattro Wagon, Auto . . . . . . . . . . . . .$2,995 97 Audi A6 Wagon, parts car . . . . . . . . . . . .Call for price Volvo 17” Gunmetal Gray Rims . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$500 Mille Miglia 18” Rims . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$500 New Wheel & Tire Packages . . . . . . . . . . .Call for pricing
Come buy your next vehicle at Independent Auto!
Diablo
Tim Bellmore
INDEPENDENTAuto Scott McFarren & Tim Bellmore
1298 Sabattus St. Lewiston
786-7744
Actual Church Bulletin Bloopers: The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.
If you're even half-way old, you will remember when: Your computer's ready-mode was a black screen with a single cursor, and there was no such thing as Windows; there was just "DOS."
Dry, stressed hair? From pool, chlorine, sun, overprocessing
Ann Dumais
Paula Tantillo
Pauline Guimond
Kim Galgovitch
Lisa Olmstead
Try our NEW deep conditioning Rejuvathérapie (from Biolage) Hair nutrition for body, bounce & strength. It thickens, volumizes and shines your hair.
$ .00
5 OFF
any service with Val New clients only Expires 9/30/10
For all your skin care & waxing needs – including Brazilian Valerie Kelshaw
N N N
Call today!
Licensed Aesthetician Licensed Massage Therapist Full range of skin care including Glycolic Peels
Sue Poulin
Kelly Giambra
N
All waxing services including Brazilian Wax
N N
Tinting - eyelashes & brows Mens & Womens Cuts
Lysa Ronan
N N N N
Valerie Kelshaw
Children’s cuts Colors N Foils N Perms Manicures Pedicures
We are a full service salon
786-4311 Hours: Tues. Wed. & Thu. 6am - 8pm Fri. 6am - 3pm • Sat. 8am - 1pm
14 Highland Spring Plaza, Suite A Highland Spring Road, Lewiston
You Had Me At Hello The proprietor of a small village drugstore was called out one sleepy summer morning, leaving the establishment temporarily under the sole management of a very young, and very inexperienced clerk. "Just answer the phone if it rings, Jim," instructed the proprietor.
The phone rang. "Hello," said the clerk. "Do you have streptomycin and aureomycin?" asked a voice at the other end. The clerk scratched his head, then said, "Ma'am, when I said 'Hello' I told you everything I know!"
“There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action.” – Goethe
Stylist Wanted! Apply in person
"The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when someone asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer." -- Henry David Thoreau Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 37
Out & About at the Balloon Festival
“Moses broke the ten commandments.”
Kicking Muscular Dystrophy in the pants! A salt water tank with marine fish is colorful, exciting and will last for years to come!
Marine Fish • Coral • Supplies •
272 South Main St. Auburn • www.deepseacreations.com • 1-888-782-4372 • 782-4372 Two firefighters raising money for MDA
Just like my daddy taught me... Is it okay if we reach out and touch someone?
Aidan, Ireland, Jason Hall & Tammy Chamberland
Sue Marston
Odd Phrases Where did they come from? Clap-Trap: refers to empty speech or nonsense. Claptrap comes from the theater. It describes any line that the playwright inserts (often knowing itʼs terrible) just to get applause. Itʼs literally a trap to catch clap. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
38 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
ATTENTION BUSINESS & COMMERCIAL PROPERTY OWNERS We’re budget friendly and offer free estimates! Go Green! All Natural Cleaning Products
Be Clean & Be GREEN!
www.KandLGreenClean.com
K+L GREEN CLEAN, INC 577-8725 "Helping the environment one job at a time"
OWNERS: KRISTIE MORIN & LAUREN SIMPSON Actual Product Warnings... On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.
Good habits are as easy to form as bad ones. – Tim McCarver
Student of the Month Now accepting students Learn to play THE RIGHT WAY Mention this ad and your first drum lesson is FREE* *with your first month of lessons
Abby Pleau w/ Dick Demers
DICK DEMERS SCHOOL OF DRUMMING 25 Mary Street, Lewiston • 786-6861 • dickdemersdrums@hotmail.com
The Popsicle Invented by Frank Epperson when he was only 11 years old, he patented the idea of frozen ice on a stick in 1923 and trademarked the name Popsicle in 1924.
Fire in the Hole Submitted by Jimbo
On my first day working at the gas station, I watched a senior coworker measure the level of gasoline in the underground tanks by lowering a giant measuring stick down into them. "What would happen if I threw a lit match into the hole?" I joked. "It would go out," he replied very matter-offactly. "Really?" I asked, surprised to hear that. "Is there a lack of oxygen down there or some safety device that would extinguish it before the fumes ignited?"
A father Emperor penguin withstands the Antarctic cold for 60 days or more to protect his eggs, which he keeps on his feet, covered with a feathered flap. During this entire time he doesn't eat a thing. Most father penguins lose about 25 pounds while they wait for their babies to hatch. Afterward, they feed the chicks a special liquid from their throats. When the mother penguins return to care for the young, the fathers go to sea to eat and rest.
"No," my co-worker continued. "The force from the explosion would blow out the match."
Main St. Music Lessons & Instrument Repair
Picks • Strings Tuners Metronomes
Authorized Fender Service Center 376-3376 8 teachers offering lessons in: Guitar, piano, bass, voice, banjo, mandolin, violin, brass & woodwinds & music theory
We carry quality new & used instruments • Call us for service on any instrument that needs repair.
BAND INSTRUMENTS AND ACCESSORIES ON SALE NOW! 134 Main Street, Auburn • 376-3376 • www.mainstreetmusiclessons.com “If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.”
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 39
Out & About at Roy’s Cruise Night We never let our ‘68 Mustang get between us...
“You know you're old when you reach down to get the wrinkles out of your panty hose and realize you aren't wearing any.”
MOTORCYCLE & SNOWMOBILE
TRUCKLOAD SALE! Whatever it takes… We just received a truckload of motorcycles from Kansas City and we purchased all of a New England dealer’s Polaris snowmobile inventory.
You can save BIG - these machines won’t last long at these prices!
www.centralmainepowersports.com
Lorraine & Bob Chicoine
• All our pre-owned motorcycles are at next Spring’s pricing • We take anything in trade • Financing as low as 3.99% • Apparel discounts - SAVE up to 70%! 845 Main Street, Lewiston • 689-2345
"Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open."
with their ʼ68 Mustang
Connie Peacock with her ʼ68 Mustang
The average llama weighs 375 pounds. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
40 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. – Christopher Robin to Pooh
“The bubbling brook would lose its song if you removed the rocks.”
Out & About at Roy’s Cruise Night
Lunch & Dinner ideas
right at home! Pizza Packs OnNolyw $ 10 Includes: 5 crusts sauce & cheese
Normally $14
Extras:
Italian Rolls
1/2 lb. ham only $2 1/2 lb. pepperoni only $2 1 lb. cheese only $3
4 for $2 While
Loave fresh baskoef Italian bre d a only $1.50 d
it lasts!!
We bake all of our own bread items daily!
Jim Peacock with his ’66 Satellite 440 6-pack
740 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 783-2981 Hours: Mon-Sun 5am-9pm • www.mygeorgios.com
If you're even half-way old, you will remember when: The first true laptop computer was a Radio Shack TRS-80. If you were hip, you referred to it affectionately as a TRASH-80.
The VP The chairman of the board of our company called me into his office to tell me the good news. I was being promoted to Vice President of Corporate Research and Planning.
asking for my new title to be changed to Vice President of Corporate Planning and Research. "Why?" asked the chairman. "Because," I said, "our organization uses abbreviated job titles, and I don't want be known as VP of CRAP."
Eric Zahardchuck with the Peacock's ʼ38 Ford Truck Hot Rod
Of course, I was excited, but that didn't stop me from
We love to cruise in Daddy’s car!
While sitting on the train one day, the man next to me started screaming, "Call me a doctor! Call me a doctor!" I asked, "Are you sick?" "No," he replied, "I just graduated from medical school."
You Know youʼre getting older when... You wake up looking like your driver's license picture.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 41
Out & About at Lake City Exports Open House Come to Lake City Exports for a straightforward, comfortable car buying experience... these balloons are the only thing here that comes with strings attached.
Dwayne Gagnon of Lake City Exports
Community Credit Union and Lake City Exports have worked together for years in helping customers purchase their ideal vehicle.
Said like an officer of the loan.
Diane & Bruce of Community Credit Union
Work Hard--Do your best--Keep your word-Never get too big for your britches--Trust in God--Have no fear-and Never forget a friend.
You Know youʼre getting older when... You got cable for the weather channel.
Assisted Home Care We are a Home Care service agency providing private duty nursing services 24 hours a day 7 days a week. We offer Certified Nurses Assistants, Personal Care Assistants and Certified Residential Medication Aides. Our name says home care and that is exactly what we provide, professional in home personal care services that allow people to remain in their home and maintain an independent lifestyle.
Home Care Means... • More privacy - you get personal care in your own home. • Convenience - continuity of care. • Comfort - being in your own home. • Shorter Recovery Time - people recoup better at home. • Nursing care by qualified caregivers.
Home C d e t s are si s A For more information visit us at: 550 College St., Lewiston
783-7375 We cover Gray, New Gloucester, Turner, Augusta, Windham, Brunswick, Topsham, Bath, Mechanic Falls, Norway, Bowdoinham, Pownal and surrounding areas.
– Harry S. Truman Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
42 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
ACTUAL NEWSPAPER HEADLINES: Crash courses for private pilots
ACTUAL NEWSPAPER HEADLINES: County to pay $250,000 to advertise lack of funds
WE’VE MOVED!
Out & About at Lake City Exports Open House Fat man's cooking is almost as good as the deals over here at Lake City Exports, come see us today!
To 20 Maple Street in Mechanic Falls
OLD Location McFa Rede lls mptio n
Mc Red Falls emp tion
New Location
We’re in our BRAND NEW location!
"Fat Man" & Rachel Wow, Lake City Exports sure has some awesome vehicles. Porsches, Mustangs, Audis, Volvo, Minis.
Be sure to stop in and check out the new place!! Bring all your bottles and cans. We’ll pay you more!!
Earn
20% MORE with $20 or more in bottles
Earn
10% MORE
Attendee
with any amount of bottles with this coupon
Mechanic Falls Redemption 20 Maple Street • Mechanic Falls 345-3765 • Open 7 days 9am-5pm
Richard Conway, owner
ACTUAL NEWSPAPER HEADLINES: Cold wave linked to temperatures
Maturity is the ability to do a job whether or not you are supervised, to carry money without spending it, and to bear an injustice without wanting to get even. – Ann Landers Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 43
Out & About at Lake City Exports Open House
ACTUAL NEWSPAPER HEADLINES: Car Dealers Will Hear Car Talk At Noon
I can't believe we won Jo Dee Messina & John Michael Montogomery Concert Tickets at the Open House! A Special thanks to Lake City Exports and 99.9 The Wolf!
Concert ticket Winners We'll be rolling in style in our new H3 Hummer from Lake City Exports!
Jessica & Chris Carpentier In 1972, Soul Train, hosted by Don Cornelius, had its American broadcast debut. It was a showcase for soul, disco, and dance for R&B acts. Gladys Knight & The Pips were the first act to appear on the show. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
44 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
Yabba Dabba Doo... CCU has relief for you! • New/Used Vehicle Loans with terms up to 72 months • Bring in your gas receipt and your auto loan rate will be as low as what you pay per gallon of gas + 1.50% APR* (ex. $2.60/gal + 1.5=4.10%) • At the end of the promotion, we will be drawing a name from all vehicle loans financed during the promotion and the winner will get their gas paid for the rest of the year, up to $500.**
COMMUNITY CREDIT UNION *APR=Annual Percentage Rate. Rate is based on the amount paid per gallon of gas as shown on a gas receipt from a station within Androscoggin County plus 1.50% APR (receipt must be presented within 30 days of gas being purchased). Gas price used to determine rate will be before any discounts are taken on the gas price. Rate will not be any lower than 4.00% APR up to 60 months or 5.00% APR up to 72 months, regardless of the gas price plus 1.50% APR calculation. Rates subject to change without notice. Refinancing from other financial institutions welcome. No in-house refinancing. **Many will enter, only 1 will win. To receive gas reimbursements for the remainder of the year (October 2010 - December 2010), member must present receipt within 30 days of gas being purchased. Reimbursements for gas purchases will cease either as of December 31, 2010 or once reimbursements reach $500, whichever occurs first. Drawing for gas winner will be held 10/1/2010. Promotion ends September 30, 2010. Some restrictions may apply. Subject to credit approval. Member Eligibility Required.
ACTUAL NEWSPAPER HEADLINES: Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed The Needy
ACTUAL NEWSPAPER HEADLINES: CRIME: Sheriff Asks For 13.7% Increase
Out & About at Lake City Exports Open House Thank you to everyone who came out to our open house and helped to make it a success!
99.9 The Wolf Employees with
Derek Dube (r), Owner of Lake City Exports
Out & About with New Auburn Social Club’s Cruiz Night Submitted by Steve Martelli
It’s just like Christmas around here!
We want to be the easiest part of your week!
See what I mean?
Your local option for outsourcing your payroll... Payroll Management has been serving the payroll needs for small and mid size companies since 1989.
PAYROLL MANAGEMENT, INC.
100 Manley Road, Auburn 783-6880 or 800-734-6880 • www.payrollmgt.com ACTUAL NEWSPAPER HEADLINES: Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 45
Go Cruisin’ on the Caribbean with special pricing secured for fans of Uncle Andy’s Digest
aboard the Radiance of the Seas Radiance of the Seas is a classy, savvy lady. It incorporates the best features of its predecessors: the variety of activity and entertainment options of the Voyager class (like rock climbing), the sleek profile of the Sovereign class, and the global itineraries and wealth of windows, glass doors and canopies of the Vision class.
February 27 to March 5, 2011 Cruise itinerary: Feb. 27 Feb. 28 Mar. 1 Mar. 2 Mar. 3 Mar. 4 Mar. 5
Air from Portland to Tampa – transfer to hotel for pre-night Transfer to ship – Ship departs port at 5 pm Day at sea Costa Maya from 8 am to 6 pm Cozumel from 7 am to 5 pm Day at sea Back in Tampa at 7 am
Check out the great pricing we got just for our friends... This doesn’t happen everyday! Pricing starts at: SHIP HIGHLIGHTS: Rock-climbing wall • Many restaurants • Themed bars and lounges • Casino RoyaleSM The Colony Club, a unique British colonial-style lounge with self-leveling pool tables African safari-themed Solarium • Indoor/outdoor country club with golf simulator Adventure Ocean® youth facilities • Day Spa and Fitness Center • Sports court with basketball/volleyball court
For more information or to reserve your space contact:
Inside cabin $1224 per person Oceanview cabin $1324 per person Balcony $1414 per person Prices are based on double occupancy. 3rd & 4th person available upon request
Pricing includes: 250 Center Street, Auburn 784-2916 or 1-800-879-3823 or email: tcarpentier@dubetravel.com
• Roundtrip air from Portland to Tampa • Pre-night Tampa • 5 night cruise on board the beautiful Radiance of the Seas • Shipboard gratuities • All port charges and taxes • All transfers
Come see our completely renovated restaurant Voted L/A’s Best Seafood Chowder 2004 - 2007
Join us for fantastic food & service!! WE’RE BACK ON COURSE! The Vallee family: Norm, Connie, Belinda & Mick
If you think we’re only about seafood…
Think again! We have something for everyone! Like one of these menu items…
Steaks & Prime Rib
Pasta Dishes
Ham & Turkey
Chicken
Delicious Appetizers
Sandwiches
It’s like coming home for dinner. 165 High Street, Auburn • 782-7796 • Open Tuesday - Sunday • www.villageinnmaine.com
Priorities
Actual sign at a McDonalds: “Drive-thru parking only”
One of my students could not take my college seminar final exam because of a funeral. "No problem," I told him. "Make it up the following week." That week came, and again he couldn't take the test due to another funeral. "You'll have to take the test early next week," I insisted; "I can't keep postponing it." "I'll take the test next week if no one dies," he told me. By now I was suspicious. "How can you have so many people you know pass away in three weeks?" I asked. "I don't know any of these people," he said. "I'm the only gravedigger in town."
BREAKFAST SPECIALS
!
“All breakfast specials include coffee.”
Daily Breakfast Specials served until 11am You asked… we listened! A new brand of coffee!
Fresh steak cut and ground daily. Open Mon-Fri 5 am to 8 pm Sat & Sun 6 am to 8 pm
5 Washington St.,
MONDAY: Two eggs, Sausage, Homefries, Toast.............$3.75
WEDNESDAY: Three Blueberry Pancakes ........................$3.75 THURSDAY: French Toast .....$3.75 FRIDAY: Two Item Omelette..$3.75
783-4304
SATURDAY: Two Golden pancakes w/Sausage ......$3.75
Phone Orders Are Welcome
SUNDAY: French Crepes .......$3.75
$
1 OFF
TUESDAY: Two eggs, Cornbeef Hash, Toast.....................$3.75
Auburn
Expires 9/30/10
Any Purchase of $500 or more 1 coupon per order
Prices do not include tax.
"Exhilaration is that feeling you get just after a great idea hits you, and just before you realize what's wrong with it." – Joe Moore
VOTED #1 Casual Restaurant & Best Burgers in L/A area
Teller First man: "I hear the First National Bank is looking for a new teller." Second man: "I thought they just hired a new teller last week." First man: "Right. That's the one they're looking for." The man who has no imagination has no wings. – Muhammad Ali Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
48 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
in HD e m a g y NFL r e v e V’s! w We sho r 15 plasma T in HD e m a g on ou atriot s P y r e v a!! Watch e our 71” plasm on Super Bowl here we come!
120 CENTER STREET PLAZA • AUBURN • 786-0715 • www.gippers.com “A woman's work is never done. So why bother?”
Actual sign next to a traffic light: “This light never turns green.”
Out & About with New Auburn Social Club’s Cruiz Night Submitted by Steve Martelli
THE VICTORY
Yep, I can see Rolly’s Diner from here...
RED TAG EVENT Switcharoo Submitted by Maggie Joyce
Sandra was out driving her car and while stopped at a red light, the car just died. It was a busy intersection, and the traffic behind her starting growing. The guy in the car directly behind her started honking his horn continuously as Sandra continued to try getting the car to start up again.
Licensed Riders Wanted 596 Main Street, Oxford (1 mile south of Oxford Plains Speedway) 207-539-8811
Actual classified ad in a newspaper: “Auction Sunday- New and used food”
Finally Sandra gets out of her car and approaches the guy in the car behind her. "I can't seem to get my car started," Sandra said, smiling. "Would you be a sweetheart and go and see if you can get it started for me. I'll stay here in your car and lean on your horn for you." Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 49
Out & About in the New Auburn Neighborhood
Actual sign in an office: “Would the person who took the step ladder please return it, or further steps will be taken.”
Free extra chain with each Husqvarna saw sold!
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
50 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
MORE Silly Laws! Hawaii: Itʼs illegal to put coins in your ears.
MORE Silly Laws! Garfield County, MT: Itʼs illegal to draw funny faces on window shades.
The Little Place with the Great Taste September Special Bucket of Spaghetti 4 Meatballs Loaf of Garlic Bread
Out & About in the New Auburn Neighborhood
Back To School Backpack Giveaway
$
11.99
Enter to win a
BACKPACK full of essential supplies
Rolly ʼs Rock s
Drawing on Sept. 15th
Homemade Daily Specials
at New Gloucester
Take Out or Eat In Our Full Service Dining Room
Rt. 100 • New Gloucester
Hours: Mon-Fri 8am-10pm • Sat-Sun 7am - 10pm
926-3434
Breakfast Served until 11am
Jewelry doesn’t fit? Bring it in and get it sized. ALL jewelry repairs done in-house by an expert jeweler. Watch Batteries Replaced • Watch Bands • Ring Sizings • Stone Setting Clasp Replacement • Bead Stringing • Appraisals • Eyeglass Repair
DiamondCut
Jewelers
Lisa
1600 Main St. Rt 26 in Oxford • 739-2300 Always Free Jewelry Cleaning & Inspection Mon-Fri 9-6; Sat. 9-3 • diamondcutjewelers.com
Mindy
Tuesday & Thursday Specials! 9pm-Midnight Well Drinks
$ 00
4
Don’t forget! Jello Shots Always $1 Any Domestic
$ 00
2
69 Sabattus St., Lewiston • 783-3287 Hours: Mon.-Sat. 10am-1am • Sun Noon-1am
MORE Silly Laws! California: Itʼs illegal to peel an orange in your hotel room.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 51
Egg-tastic
MORE Silly Laws! Los Angeles, CA: Itʼs against the law to bathe two babies at the same time in the same tub.
Submitted by Kathie Dolan
We work on all equipment… not just ours!
“Dependable, quality service at an affordable price!” Light/Heavy Duty Trucks, Tractors, Trailer Repairs & Service
HEAVY DUTY & EQUIPMENT ROADSIDE ASSISTANCE AVAILABLE RATES: • $50/hour on light duty cars & trucks • $65/hour on heavy duty trucks, trailers & equipment • $75/hour on roadside assistance (includes mileage) • Servicing all makes & models of heavy equipment & trucks • Licensed Inspection Station • Hydraulic Hoses made on-site • Light Duty/Heavy Duty Trailers Audie Leon Murphy was the most decorated American soldier of World War II and a celebrated movie star for many years in the post-war era, appearing in 44 films. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
52 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
• We Machine Rotors & Drums for Light Duty
Maine Heavy Equipment Service 20 Highland Spring Road, Lewiston
333-3707 • www.MaineHeavy.com MORE Silly Laws! Lubbock, TX: Itʼs illegal to sleep in a garbage can.
MORE Silly Laws! Roanoke, VA: Itʼs illegal to advertise on tombstones.
Egg-tastic Submitted by Kathie Dolan
CELEBRATING 40 YEARS IN BUSINESS! Locally owned and operated since 1970!
RESIDENTIAL & COMMERCIAL
NO JOB TOO BIG OR TOO SMALL Competitive Pricing on
RESIDENTIAL PROJECTS rn City of Aubunstruction Reco ge id Br r ne Gardi
ool h Sch ing d on Hig Lewist ry Arts Buil Culina
Lewiston Ec onomic Grow th Lincoln St. Building Dem Council, olition
City o Curb If Lewiston nstalla tion
v Site Work v Water, Sewer & Septic v New Driveway Installation v Demolition v Retaining Walls v Drainage v Concrete Foundations & Floors
CALL US FOR YOUR FREE QUOTE!
Call early for your plowing, sanding, & snow removal quotes! RESIDENTIAL & COMMERCIAL Competitive Pricing! St. Laurent & Sons Excavation, Inc. 20 Highland Spring Road, Lewiston • 784-7944 www.stlaurentandson.com MORE Silly Laws! South Bend, IN: Itʼs against the law to make a monkey smoke.
"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same." – Ronald Reagan Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 53
MORE Silly Laws! Wisconsin: Itʼs against the law to feed margarine instead of real butter to prisoners.
HARRIS BROTHERS PO Box 2002 • Norway, Maine 04268 Call us! No Separating Required!
743-3891 HARRIS BROS.
SERVING: NORWAY • WEST PARIS MINOT • MCFALLS • OXFORD
The Little Engine Submitted by Jimbo
While visiting the Atlanta area, I walked through a lovely park with a wide path where people could jog, run their dogs or ride trail bikes. As I descended a hill, I saw a woman coming toward me, pushing a stroller with two toddlers in it. "We're coming to a hill," the mother announced to her children, "so you'll have to help me -- are you ready?" I wondered how the little ones could be of assistance, but as I passed by I heard them earnestly repeating their encouragement: "I think I can, I think I can..." The average person falls asleep in seven minutes. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
54 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
FUNDRAISER FOR
EMMA DUBE 1 year old daughter of Sarah and Tom Dube. She is suffering from a rare form of liver cancer. We will be holding an auction of new items and gift certificates. Tickets are $7 and include BBQ. There will be activities for kids, a 50/50 raffle and more.
When: September 26th, 1:00 - 6:00pm Where: Railroad Diner, Rt. 196, Lisbon Falls
Tickets are on sale now! Tickets available at Hairs Too You, The Moxie Store, Kennebec Fruit, Railroad Diner, Dube's Music and other locations TBA. Auctioneer Pete Hunter and DJ Chris Ridley. FMI call 576-1402 to donate or buy tickets.
14 Millett Drive, Auburn 782-3457 • www.annsflower.com
Flowers for Teachers!
Ann’s Flowers
It’s back to school time!
MORE Silly Laws! Oxford, OH: A woman may not remove her clothing while standing in front of a picture of a man.
Out & About at the Couillard Family Reunion
Lungs & Roses Cystic Fibrosis cut-a-thon
Monday, Sept. 13th 9am-Noon
to benefit lung transplant for
Greg Lambert at Gregory’s Salon, 600 Center St., Auburn (Shaw’s Plaza) 786-0112 RESTAURANT Closing Sept. 12th
DRIVING RANGE
MINI-GOLF
Open until October
Joann Peach
Burgers • Dogs L-A’s Be st Onion Rings Frie s • Ice Cre am
TABERS
Open 7 days a week! Lake Shore Drive, First left after the lake Off Rt. 4 in Auburn
Walter Peach
Peace be with you!
David Couillard Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 55
Out & About at the Couillard Family Reunion
Famous Firsts: 1587 --- Virginia Dare was the first child born in the American colonies, on August 18th, on what is now Roanoke Island, North Carolina.
Walk-ins welcome!
Jeff & Lucy Kochis with their son
I’m just saying...
Hair Services Waxing Manicures Pedicures
L to R: Candice Lamontagne, Mel Cote, Darcy Ames & Hannah Greene
336 Center St. • Auburn
777-1611
Our stylists are certified in
Call today for your appointment • Walk-ins welcome
Famous Firsts: 1762 --- Ann Franklin was the first woman to hold the title of newspaper editor, "The Newport Mercury" in Newport, RI.
Armand Couillard
Finish a full-size omelette and have your picture put on our wall of fame!
Home of the Double Yolker
DAILY SPECIALS Breakfast & Lunch Open 7 Days 6am-2pm
& Bakery Rose Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
56 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
Handicap accessible • Breakfast served all day • Superb service Comfortable family atmosphere
5 Pigeon Hill Road Route 26 and 11 , Mechanic Falls • 998-5577 Famous Firsts: 1773 --- James Cook was the first person to cross Antarctic Circle.
Famous Firsts: 1809 --- Mary Kies was the first woman to be issued a US patent. She was granted a patent for the rights to a technique for weaving straw with silk and thread to make bonnets.
ONE PAYS! TWO PLAY!
Out & About at the Sebago Lakes Chamber’s of Business Breaks
Pay just one green fee and a friend plays free. Or, pay for two green fees and two play free.
2 for 1
Monday Night Scrambles
Must present this coupon to receive one free green fee for each paid green fee. Cart fee mandatory for each player. May not be combined with other offers. Good for 18 holes, Mon. thru Thurs. all day, Fri. thru Sun. after 1 p.m. excluding holidays, tournaments and twilight play.
Route 100 in Gray • Just minutes from Turnpike Exit 63 For tee times contact Ben Morey at 657-2586
Make your own team or sign up as a single Call the club for more information
Senior League EVERY TUESDAY MORNING Call the club for more information
Carol & Dave Pollard Spring Meadows Golf
GOLF CLUB AT COLE FARMS www.springmeadowsgolf.com
Famous Firsts: 1790 --- Samuel Hopkins is holder of US Patent #1. Thousands of patents were issued before his, but his was the first when the numbering started. He patented a process for making potash and pearl ashes. Olga phoned her husband, Dewey, at work for a chat. "I'm sorry dear," said Dewey, "but I'm up to my neck in work today. I don't have time to chat."
some bad news for you, dear."
Dana & Dawn Perkins
"OK, darling," said Dewey, "but as I've got no time right now, just give me the good news."
Special guest at the 25th anniversary... Survivor Bob describes himself:
"OK," agreed Olga. "Well, the air bag works!"
I’m sort of a cross between Indiana Jones and Robinson Crusoe—honest, adventurous, resourceful and witty.
Olga replied, "But I've got some good news and
SAVE GAS - RIDE A GOLF CART • Campers • Senior Citizens • Campground and RV Owners • Free Delivery - 40 mile radius • Conversion Lift Kits • 4 passenger cars
HUGE SALE
1-800-451-1233 • 497 Washington St. Auburn
Bob & Peggy Crowley
Famous Firsts: 1837 --- Mary Lyon founded 1st woman's college in the US, Mt. Holyoke College.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis
“Survivor Bob”
&T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 57
Famous Firsts: 1903 --- Alexander Winton set the 1st land speed record in car racing. Set at Daytona Beach, his speed was 68.18 mph
Barbie Clement - RDH
TAYLOR BROOK DENTAL ASSOCIATES Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
58 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
"All of us do not have equal talent, but all of us should have an equal opportunity to develop our talent." – John F. Kennedy
Famous Firsts: 1906 --- Theodore Roosevelt was the first American to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. It was for helping mediate an end the Russo-Japanese War.
Now Accepting New
PATIENTS ❏ ❏ ❏ ❏ ❏ ❏ ❏
Preventive Dentistry - Cleaning and Checkups Cosmetic Dentistry - Veneers, Bonding, Bleaching Crowns, Bridges, Dentures (Complete or Partial) Extractions Periodontics - Treatment of Gum Disease Root Canal Therapy Surgical Placement / Restoration of Dental Implants
TAYLOR BROOK DENTAL ASSOCIATES
27 Millett Drive, Auburn • 784-1577
TaylorBrookDental.com “Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory. Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat.” – Sun Tzu
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 59
Out & About at the Couillard Family Reunion
"Develop your eccentricities while you are young. That way, when you get old, people won't think you're going gaga." – David Ogilvy
Come to Oxford’s only original indoor flea market! Open 7 days a week year-round for your shopping! Collectibles • Coins • Glassware • Sports Cards • Furniture • BEANIE BABIES Advertising Items • Jewelry • Cassettes • DVDs • CD’s • Videos • Antiques & Lots More! VISIT
“THE BOOK NOOK” Martha Rossignol
Regular Paperbacks $1/each $
3.50 each for most Hardcover Books
Selective Hard Covers $2
Large Selection of Fenton Glassware!
20 OFF %
all Audio Books (books on tape & CD) Over 55,000 Pre-Read Books & Cookbooks
Corin Dubois
Pre-Read Books arriving daily
Inventory Reduction Sale 20% - 70% OFF
Featuring
131Vendors Open 7 Days a Week
8 AM - 5 PM We honor: M/C, DEBIT, ATM, VISA, Am. Express & Discover cards
Cecile Couillard
s Alway g n i Buy
960 Main Street, Oxford • 539-4149 500 feet North of the New Balance Factory Outlet Store
The average porpoise weighs 103 pounds.
Largest Indoor Flea Market in the Area!
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
The average person is about a quarter of an inch taller at night.
& Jimbo
60 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
Out & About at the Couillard Family Reunion
"I want to put a ding in the universe." – Steve Jobs
Live Entertainment Sat. Sept. 4th - Drew Heikkenen Sat. Sept. 11th - Okbari Belly Dancers Thurs. Sept. 16th - Women’s Jockey Fashion Show with Mary Murphy Thurs. Sept. 23rd - Autumn Wine Tasting with Central Distributers Hosting (This will be fun!!) Sat. Sept. 25th = Carole Wise
Deli Downstairs Dining Room Upstairs
Mon-Tues. 7:30-4:00 Wed-Fri 7:30-10:00 Sat. 11:00-10:00
Audrey Hobbs
Don’t miss these events!!! 84 Court St, Auburn
333-3041
www.hollysown.com
Thursday, Sept. 16th Women's Jockey fashion show & a wine tasting party Sept. 23rd Call FMI.
Holly Mireault, Owner
Coins have a grooved edge because in the past dishonest traders filed down the edges to remove some of the precious metal. Many countries print images or writing at the very edge of the coin to prevent this same dishonest practice.
Androscoggin Advisory Partners Celebrates First Year
Androscoggin Advisory Partners (AAP) is celebrating its first anniversary of service to the local business community. Organized to foster strategic relationships among Androscoggin County businesses, the nonprofit group is composed of local professionals who offer a wide range of goods and services, advice, and introductions to both new and established business ventures.
AAP’s members aim to build relationships based on trust and competence, by demonstrating, through sound professional reputations, a capacity to help others achieve their personal and professional goals. Members network, share information, and help each other create Back row (L to R): Ken Albert, Chantal Peterson, Stacy Cobb, Tawnya Matthews & strategies for business development, Steve Flynn. Middle row: Kevin Fletcher, Tom Giberti, Mona Karole, Brenda Tarmey strengthen ties with existing clients & Jeff Leonardo. Front row: April Tarmey, Diane McManus, Rose Pelletier, Julie and cultivate new business Poulin, Cathy Raynor, Diane Landry, Dave Warriner prospects.
Mike & Annette Dupre
Mark & Sue Desjardins
For more information or to arrange to attend a meeting, contact Stephen Flynn at 207-777-7711, or visit the AAP website at http://www.aapmaine.com.
The average porcupine has more than 30,000 quills.
"Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it." – Raymond Chandler
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 61
Out & About at the Couillard Family Reunion
"Cheerfulness and contentment are great beautifiers and are famous preservers of youthful looks." – Charles Dickens
®
2011 ELECTRIC RANGER
EV Electric-Powered Side-By-Side The 2010 Polaris RANGER® EV Electric-Powered Side-By-Side is the leader of the electric mid-sized side by side class. This clean & quiet vehicle dominates the competition with its unmatched ride, 25 MPH (40.2 KPH) top speed, and 50-mile Range* — making it the perfect mid-sized electric side by side for farming, ranching, hunting, and recreational riding.
Mike Albert & Gene Couillard
• 30 HP 48-Volt High-Efficiency AC-Inducted Electric Motor • Smooth Independent Rear Suspension (IRS) • Mid-Sized Design - Fits In A Full-Size Pickup • Plug Recharge With Standard 110v AC Outlet *Range will vary depending on temperature, grade, payload, and driving style.
WE ARE MAINE’S LARGEST FULL LINE DEALER FULL LINE IN STOCK! Pinkhamʼs Nice job, honey taking all these great family pictures! Wait... how’d you take this one?
Self-timer, honey. When I find out who the culprit is behind us, he’s gonna get it!
David & Sandy Couillard
596 Main Street, Oxford (1 mile south of Oxford Plains Speedway) 207-539-8811
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
Always be nice to people on the way up; because you'll meet the same people on the way down. – Wilson Mizner
& Jimbo
62 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
"The present is a rope stretched over the past. The secret to walking it is, you never look down." – Sean Stewart
LIVE BANDS
Free Wi fi 11th y r a s r e v i Ann
Out & About at the Couillard Family Reunion Sandy did an excellent job taking all these photos. We sure don’t want Uncle Andy taking credit for work he didn’t do!
Saturday, t s a Pig Ro Sept. 11 th
Live Music with Matt & the Barn Burners
Roger Bussiere
Friday night & Saturday afternoon You don’t want to miss this!!
Party starts at noon
Tickets $10 advance • $15 at the door
Nelson Bussiere
Uncle Andy to make a guest appearance!
Upcoming Entertainment 97 Ash St., Lewiston 783-0668
Sat. Sept. 4th Fri. Sept. 17th Sat. Sept. 18th Fri. Sept. 24th Sat. Sept. 25th Fri. Oct. 1st Sat. Oct. 2nd
Beyond the Fall BLUES JAM Brown Stone Every Thursday Ascend to Power Mud Season Spawn of Man Paper Street Veggies By Day
The reason so few people are successful is no one has yet found a way for someone to sit down and slide uphill. – W. Clement Stone
Part of the Couillard Clan Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 63
Stylist, Aesthetician, Manicure & Pedicurist Wanted ~ Call FMI
Christine
Cindy
Emily
studio for hair, nails & massage
Michelle
Daniel
Fall back into new colors & styles at Panache
Elizabeth
Lynn
Jen
Our Services • • • • • • • • • • • • •
Cuts, Styles Colors & Highlights Perms Extensions Manicures Pedicures Artificial Nails Facials Massage Reflexology Waxing Eyelash Tinting Arbonne Make-up
782-9009 • 20 Coburn Street, Auburn Open Monday-Saturday • www.panachehairandnailstudio.com
I am beginning to learn that it is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all. – Laura Ingalls Wilder
Road Scholar One of my friends told me how heʼd shared a joke with his daughter the other morning, when he was driving her to school. “Do you know why dinosaurs donʼt drive? Because Tyrannosaurus wrecks!” It was a huge success, so I decided to try it out on my son. The next time we were in the car together I asked him, “Do you know why dinosaurs donʼt drive?” Before I could get to the punch line he responded, “Because theyʼre all dead, Dad!” From the Catholic Digest Submitted anonymously
A young man, fresh out of college, went to see his doctor one day. "Doc, there's something wrong with me. Every time I stand in a baby's high chair and face southwest, and then touch my tongue to a piece of aluminum foil that's wrapped around an acorn, I get a strange tingle in my big toe. Can you tell me what the problem is?" "Sure!" The doctor said. "You have way too much time on your hands ... get a job!" You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through. – Rosalynn Carter
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 65
Out & About at the Couillard Family Reunion
"Assert your right to make a few mistakes. If people can't accept your imperfections, that's their fault." – David M. Burns
dition a r T e n i a AM unt On! o C n a C u Yo
I don’t mind remaining anonymous...
Hours: Monday-Thursday 6am – 9pm; Friday 6am – 9:30pm; Saturday 6am – 9:30pm; Sunday 6am – 9pm
WEEKDAY LUNCH SPECIALS Served from 10:30-3:30
Part of the Couillard Clan
Monday - Maine Fried Shrimp Tuesday - Fish & Chips Wednesday - Steak Sub Thursday - Grilled Reuben Sandwich Friday - Fried Haddock Sandwich
I’m a big hungry guy so I asked the waitress to bring me a something of her choosing... She gave me a huge seafood platter that really hit the spot. Thanks Cole Farms!
DAILY SPECIALS Monday - 2 Crab Rolls . . . . . . .$7.95 w/Salad & Chips
Tuesday - Yankee Pot Roast . . . .$7.95 w/Carrots, Potato & Gravy, Rolls
Wednesday - Chicken Pot Pie . . .$6.75 w/Potato & Rolls
Thursday 2 Lobster Rolls . . . . . . . . . . . .$12.95
Stacy Gooldrup
w/Salad & Chips
Friday - Lasagna . . . . . . . . . . . .$8.75 w/Salad & Rolls
Sunday - Roast Pork . . . . . . . . .$8.75 w/Potato, Choice of Salad, Coleslaw or Vegetable & Rolls
Friday & Saturday -
Scott Marsh with his mom, Jane
BREAKFAST BUFFET SATURDAY & SUNDAY Served from 7am-10:30am
After 4:00 PM
Prime Rib Au Jus w/Potato, Choice of Salad, Coleslaw or Vegetable & Rolls
Friday, Saturday & Sunday Fried or Baked Stuffed Haddock
Adults .............$6.50 6 & under .......$3.50
Portland-Lewiston Road, Gray • 657-4714 • www.ColeFarms.com Doreen Gooldrup Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
66 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
JUST ONE MILE NORTH OFF EXIT 63 OF MAINE TURNPIKE
If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness and fear. – Glenn Clark
TOO YOU Kerry Owner/stylist
Monique “Nicky” stylist
Jen stylist
Sue stylist
Rachel stylist
Kalie stylist
OUR SERVICES Cuts & Styles Colors & Highlights Perms • Up Do’s Manicures Pedicures • Waxing Tanning
September Special
Full Color Foils $75-85 up to 2 colors Cut & Style included Expires 9/30/10
Kalie’s Special
TOO YOU
$ Kalie
10
Mens & Kids Cuts Call ! Today Expires 9/30/10
Established 1991
Hair / Tanning / Nails Open Tues-Sat
16 Main Street, Lisbon Falls • 353-5122
Out & About at the Couillard Family Reunion Your hiding behind me but they got your name. The next time they take my picture I will refuse to open my eyes.
"When having my portrait painted I don't want justice, I want mercy." – Billy Hughes
Get your new fall color here Time to change your look! Walk-in or call for an appointment today, and we can be of service
D’Avanti Salon
A Paul Mitchell Color Salon
in the Lewiston Mall • 782-0202 • www.davanti-salon.com Hours: Tues - Fri. 10-6 • Saturday 10-4 (closed Sun. & Mon.) • Appointments Appreciated • Walk-Ins Welcome
CALL FOR NEXT NRA PISTOL COURSE DATES! Bernadette Albert See!
We Buy, Sell & Trade Full Line Gun Smith Service Buying small & large firearm collections Check us out!
Ann Desjardins
THE DECK awaits you…
J.T. REID’S GUNS 86 Court St., Auburn • 777-3579 Jamie Pelletier, Manager
Hours: 9-5 Mon-Fri • 9-1 Sat
John Reid, Owner
Pat’s Pizza 784-8221 85 Center Street, Auburn
Irene & Yvonne Couillard Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
68 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
Actual Church Bulletin Bloopers: Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"
Actual Church Bulletin Bloopers: Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."
Out & About at the Couillard Family Reunion
Who’s Your Daddy?
Some people call me Dick. Some call me Richard. But if you call me Mr. Bussiere I’ll give you the 10 finger salute.
Newly remodeled & a new larger dance floor • 14 Draft beers to choose from 26 oz. domestic drafts $3 • 26 oz. import drafts $4 • 16 oz. mixed drinks starting at $4.50 Deck overlooking the Little Androscoggin River - next to the water falls Plenty of parking outback • handicap ramp to bar & deck Air conditioned • Darts • Pool • Free Wi-Fi
Now 2 courtesy vans at Big Daddy’s! FREE Pick-up and drop off available within a 10 mile radius
5 North Main Street, Mechanic Falls • 345-3782
!
Get your bike tuned up for the Dempsey Challenge Ride
Dick “Richard” Bussiere
15% OFF !
With coupon Expires 9/30/10
Ski & Bike Service 9 North River Rd. Auburn, Me.
784-0103
Stop in for the best products and service in town • Delicious home cooked meals
Larry Desjardins
• Hot soups & chowders • Everything made from scratch • Incredible crepes
Don’t forget we’re open Mondays!
• Fresh baked pies & desserts
Debbie Lambert
1485 Lisbon Street • Lewiston (next to Tire Warehouse) • 786-0667
You Know youʼre getting older when... Your mind bets you can do the simple physical tasks you've always done, and your body bets you can't...and gives odds.
Omerine Desjardins Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 69
Uncle Andy’s Trick Photography
You Know youʼre getting older when... You get propositioned by AARP.
Ray The Electrician LLC RESIDENTIAL & COMMERCIAL “My Prices Won’t Shock You”
Office: 225-3360 • Cell: 576-6643 rayele@roadrunner.com
Fully Insured • All Electrical Service Work • Houses • Cottages • Dormitories • Campgrounds • Schools
• Phone Cable • Camera Security • House Alarms • Lead Certified Renovator
PLUS: • Install all sizes of generators, from portable to stand-by generators • Install permanent line poles for new housing developments
We answer any emergency call 24 hours a day / 7 days a week Licensed in Maine, New Hampshire, Massachusetts and Vermont Financing Available • Some Restrictions Apply Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
70 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
"Mother-in-law: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers." – Anonymous
"I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar." – Anonymous
Did you hear about the young man who spent two years trying to find himself? He finally got a haircut and there he was! From the Catholic Digest Submitted anonymously
Fancy Talk Sitting in coach during a lengthy flight, my wife and I heard a flight attendant ask the highpaying passengers in first class, “Would you care for Chardonnay or Burgundy?”
9/30/10
"Despite the high cost of living it remains a popular item." – Anonymous
ATTENTION EMPLOYERS!! Complete Pre-Employment Screenings INCLUDES: • MAINE SBI & NATIONAL CRIMINAL HISTORY CHECKS • SOCIAL SECURITY & PRIOR ADDRESS VERIFICATION • DRIVER LICENSE CHECK Only • REFERENCE & PRIOR $ EMPLOYMENT VERIFICATIONS
49.99
*All reports are verified by a licensed Private Investigator
Attention Landlords… Tenant Screening Available with Maine SBI Criminal History & Eviction Checks – Call FMI
A La Carte Pricing Available
A few minutes later, the attendant wheeled the wine cart back to our aisle. “Excuse me,” he said, “would you care a glass of wine? We have white and red.” From the Catholic Digest Submitted anonymously
"I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." – Dr. Seuss
MID MAINE DRUG SCREENING & INVESTIGATIONS Full Service Drug Testing Company & Private Investigator
Q: Who invented fractions?
577-6000 • www.MMDRUGSCREENING.com
A: Henry the 1/8!
"Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering." – Anonymous
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 71
Uncle Andy’s Trick Photography
"Marriage is an institution, but who wants to live in an institution?" – Anonymous
Call for a
FREE ENERGY AUDIT Commercial • Industrial • Residential
We specialize in: • Commercial/Industrial & Residential Electrical Installations • Infrared Thermal Imaging to detect potential problems • Custom Electrical Control Panel Fabrication UL Listed • Generator installation • Automated systems & controls
WOOD PELLETS Normally $239 /ton
10 OFF
$
per ton with this coupon Limit 1 coupon per ton Offer expires 9/30/10
• Telephone & computer wiring • Engineering/Design build
Fully Insured • Free Estimates ELECTRICAL SYSTEMS OF MAINE
ELECTRICAL CONTRACTORS
1200 Minot Ave., Auburn
783-7126 www.electricalsystemsofmaine.com Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
72 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
"Whenever you eliminate the inedible, whatever remains, however unpalatable, must be food." – Anonymous
"Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases." – Anonymous
Out & About at Roy’s Cruise Night
LE A S A P S FREE WITH ANY SPA PURCHASE
SWIM SPAS Get or stay fit • Relax & unwind Hot or cold water • Easy installation
• FREE Spa Steps • FREE Cover Lift • FREE 6”-4” Cover
527 Rt. 202 in Greene (1/4 mile north of the IGA on your right) Hours: Mon-Fri 10-6; Sat 10-2
946-2162
www.futurepoolandspas.com
Tom & Vicki Ward owners of the ʼ65 Mustang shown below
ʼ65 Mustang Jeff Wade & daughter Alyssa with their ʼ93 Honda Civic
Hey Paul, you're finally not the only Chabot to grace the pages of Uncle Andy's!
SEPTEMBER SPECIAL Spaghetti Dinner with one meatball, salad, bread & fountain soda
$
5.99
www.LuiggisPizzeria.com
Brian & Jacob
Grandsons of Beverly at Luiggi’s
"This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation."
Roger & Paul Chabot Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 73
Out & About at the Couillard Family Reunion
"Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way."
• • • •
Hot & Cold Sandwiches Soups • Salads Espresso Drinks • Gelato Dessert Items & More
~ Order here & take it to go ~ ~ Eat in our café area ~ ~ Call ahead for takeout orders ~
Audette You put your left arm in, you take your right arm out... You do the hokey pokey and you shake it all about...
376-3303 Located inside DaVinci’s Eatery 150 Mill St. • Lewiston • Mon-Fri 7:30-2pm
"The answer to the question of Life, the Universe, and Everything is... Four day work week and two ply toilet paper!"
Phil Couillard
I LOVE being pampered! I’m beautiful and they’re the best!
Betty Part of the Couillard Clan Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
74 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
Molly
Molly loves visiting The Hairem because she gets the Royal Treatment. We’ll do the same for you! Stop by today!
111 Sabattus Street, Lewiston • 782-4104
"My good intentions are completely lethal." – Margaret Atwood
Uncle Andy’s Trick Photography
"It gets late early out there." – Yogi Berra
132 North Hill Road, Buckfield • (207) 336-2901
SPECIAL OF THE MONTH
$
49
12 Volt Battery Charger 50 amp engine start for
99
emergency starting. (6956783) (SE-5212)
Heavy-Duty Jig Saw Powerful 5.5 Amp motor. 0-3, 100 SPM. Variable
$
59
97
speed. 4-Position orbital action. (6948319) (DW317K)
$ $
299
99
Heavy-Duty Reciprocating Saw Kit Powerful 10.0 Amp moor. 0-2, 800 SPM. 4
18 Volt XRP Hammerdrill/Driver Kit Includes charger, (2) 18 V batteries, 360
Position blade clamp. Includes heavy-duty kit box. (0140087) (DW304PK)
degree side handle, heavy duty kit box. (7256795) (DCD950KX)
These great deals & so much more!
6 Panel Steel Insulated Door
9 Lite Steel Insulated Door Unit
Masonite pre-hung steel insulated door unit. Your choice of 36” or 32” wide in 6’8” height. Primed inswing jamb for 2x4 wall, bored for lock (not included) ADD $25.00 for 2x6 wall. Style MHD6P. Allow 10 days for delivery.
Masonite pre-hung steel insulated door unit. Your choice of 36” or 32” wide in 6’8” height. Primed inswing jamb for 2x4 wall, bored for lock (not included) ADD $25.00 for 2x6 wall. Style MHD10609E. Allow 10 days for delivery
$
174
99
$
*All prices good thru 9/30/10
99
199
R.E. Lowell Lumber – Your Full Service Lumber Dealer
www.LowellLumber.com "He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news." – Bertolt Brecht
"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do." – Walter Bagehot Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 75
Out & About at the Couillard Family Reunion
"Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected." – Red Buttons
Professional Home Inspections, Inc.
RP R
Complete Home Inspections Water Testing • Water Radon Air Radon • Lead Paint Testing • Mold Testing Infrared Thermal Imaging
Certified Inspector 72 Old Lisbon Rd. • Lewiston, ME 04240
Tel. 207-782-9663 • Fax 1-207-514-8058 Debbie Bussiere
Hey, you got my back.
www.RPRPROHOMEINSPECTIONS.COM Email: Roger@RPRprohomeinspections.com Frères Allés Sauvages*
We’re still sewing our wild oats, mister.
Babe, Larry & Roger Couillard
*English translation: Brothers Gone Wild
I’ll bet you five bucks this picture won’t make it past the cutting room floor...
More of the Couillard Clan
For your personal or commercial needs contact
Mike Pinkham
Troy Couillard & Katie Picard Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
76 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
BILODEAU INSURANCE AGENCY LEWISTON
BRUNSWICK
541 Lisbon Street Lewiston, ME 04240 784-4029 • Fax: 784-2360
92 Pleasant St., P.O. Box 679 Brunswick, ME 04011 725-2797 • Fax: 725-6001
"If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research, would it?" – Albert Einstein
"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax." – Albert Einstein
MELANSON CONSTRUCTION, INC. 84 No Name Pond Road, Lewiston, ME • 784-5899
PAVING
• Residential and Commercial Paving • Sweeping • Seal Coating
Out & About at the Couillard Family Reunion
Call for FRimEatEes Est
Pete & Louise Couillard
784-5899
FOOTBALL PARTY HEADQUARTERS
We Deliver!
Walk-in Beer Cave L/A’s largest selection of Beer!
GAMEDAY SPECIAL 2 Lg. 1-topping pizzas 2 two-liter bottles of soda 50 wings only
$
32
Fall Brews Are Here! We have wine & liquor, too!
Call for commercial & residential bottle pickup Find us on Facebook & Foursquare
Including Dogfish Punkin Woodchuck Pumpkin
F~lorian’s Market ~
Melanie and her daughter
301 Main St., Auburn 783-9098 / Open 7 Days a Week
WE’VE GOT HANDGUNS! HUGE SELECTION!
Our clan is pretty awesome!
FREE Bottle of Pepper Spray with any handgun purchase! Just a small sample of our inventory
Call Matt, Drew or Chris at
Rt. 4 • Turner, ME
225-3432
Just past Twitchell’s Airport
Chris Jordan, owner 577-0210
g3firearms@megalink.net
"Five is a sufficiently close approximation to infinity." – Robert Firth
More of the Couillard Clan Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 77
Out & About at Roy’s Cruise Night
"One of the greatest labor saving inventions of today is tomorrow." – Vincent T. Foss
Dave Nason & Doris Nadeau with a friends ʼ69 MGC
It was tough deciding if I should bring the ‘57, ‘58 or ‘59, but I feel lucky to be faced with such a decision.
The size of a raindrop is around 0.5 mm - 2.5 mm, and they fall from the sky on average 21 feet per second.
Norm Cusson Our family welcomes your family out to Roy's All-Steak Hamburgers & Golf Center, Rt 4 Auburn, just past Lake Auburn.
with his ʼ57 Ford Fairlane 500 with Retractable Hardtop
John Roy with his newborn daughter, Grace Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
78 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
Ava, Ashley, John & Grace Roy
"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal." – Henry Ford
"Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one." – Malcolm S. Forbes
Out & About at the Sebago Lakes Chamber’s of Business Breaks
indham •
Located
orth W . 115 in N
0
892-822
on Rt
Sue Bonior Chamber
"America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole." – Bobcat Goldthwait
YOU GOTTA STUDY ON A FULL STOMACH! Whether you’re book smart, street smart or too darn smart for your own good, Thatcher’s will treat you right!!
RESTAURANT 892-9922
Leeʼs Family Trailer
Home Cooking… Just like your mom used to make!
Dave DeBree
Mon - Sat 11am - 10pm Sun 12 - 8pm
Located at 907 Roosevelt Trail Casual Dining in a Relaxed Atmosphere
Theresa & Fred Nash
Dave & Maggie Garry, Owners
"A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer." – Robert Frost
For visions come not to polluted eyes. ~ Mary Howitt Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 79
Say What?
You Know youʼre getting older when... The girls at the office start confiding in you.
Submitted by Jimbo
My daughter Lili was five when she received a foam CD holder with plastic sleeves for all her music CDs. I explained to her that CDs are sensitive to light and heat, so she should not leave the holder in the sun. During our home addition, the electrician was working in the backyard and Lili had gone to play in the sandbox, leaving her new CD holder on the patio table. My wife saw it and told Lili she was going to put it in the house. Lili stood up in the sandbox and said, "Mommy, make sure you put it where the sun doesn't shine!"
Golf Talk I once played golf in a foursome with my Minister. I'm afraid I forgot myself and let loose with some profanity after missing an easy shot. He said, "I've played golf with some of the finest men in our congregation. Last week, Jack Nicholas went for six under par on this very course. I didn't hear one word of profanity from him."
NOW OPEN! • Casual Dining & Classic New England Fare • Tender & Juicy Steaks • Mouthwatering Burgers • Certified Angus Beef Serving Breakfast, • Splendid Seafood Lunch & Dinner • Full Bar • TVs • Eat in or Take out Inside the
Lewiston Mall
333-3053 • Open 7 Days a Week Breakfast & lunch served 7am-4pm • Dinner served 4-10pm Lounge hours: 11am - 11pm
Still upset, I replied, "Well Pastor, what did he have to cuss about?"
www.wildseasonsinc.com
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis
You Know youʼre getting older when... You don't recall what the first thing to go was.
& Jimbo
80 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
Fall Catering From Weddings to Backyard BBQ’s to Company Parties & More! Try Dad’s Place for your next event!
Call Diana or Larry for more info and pricing
Hot & Cold Buffet-Style Catering Professional service at an affordable price No job too big or too small!
345-9009 There’s NO PLACE like...
Dad’s Place Catering Division
www.dadsplace.info
Out & About at the Sebago Lakes Chamber’s
ACTUAL NEWSPAPER HEADLINES: Army vehicle disappears. An Australian army vehicle worth $74,000 has gone missing after being painted with camouflage.
6th Annual
of Business Breaks
Androscoggin Habitat for Humanity
Golf Tournament Friday, Sept. 17, 2010 8-8:45AM registration • 9:00 AM shotgun start Springbrook Golf Course - Rt. 202, Leeds
Team & Tee Sponsor $400 • Team Only $240 Chris DeBree
Includes 18 holes & cart, player gifts, lunch & awards ceremony
Prizes • Contests • Raffles • 50/50 FMI or to register call 786-2598 or visit: www.androhforh.org All proceeds benefit Androscoggin Habitat for Humanity and its continuing effort to eliminate substandard housing in Androscoggin County.
They went and did it... They got hitched! Robyn Gauthier & Andy Coleman
Look who turned ONE
got hitched August 28th
Frank
Not actual wedding photo
Taylor Farrell Cyndy Bell Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
82 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
turned 1 on August 11th. She is the daughter of Ashley & Brent Farrell and granddaughter of Andrea Gauthier (Nana). Nana and Taylor share the same birthday!
"A hotel is a place that keeps the manufacturers of 25-watt bulbs in business." – Shelly Berman
Four of the richest countries in the world with some of the highest personal income, Bahrain, Brunei, Kuwait, and Qatar, have no tax at all.
1ST ANNUAL GOLF TOURNAMENT
Out & About at the Sebago Lakes Chamber’s of Business Breaks
Presented by:
FOR YOUTH DEVELOPMENT FOR HEALTHY LIVING FOR SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 20TH AT MARTINDALE COUNTRY CLUB SCRAMBLE FORMAT 8 A.M. CHECK IN
Dr. Mark Wasowski
9:30 SHOTGUN START
Cash Prizes Longest Drive Closest to Pin Contests On-course Lunch & Much More!
Rachel & Allan Phinney Custom Shingle Sign Co.
Proceeds to help subsidize membership and program fees for area youth to promote involvement in healthy, active programs.
$125pp or $500/foursome
Register in person at the YMCA in Auburn at 62 Turner Street or call 795-4095 FMI
Denise & Bob LeClerc
Half the population of the world earns only 5% of the worldʼs total wealth.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis
The Odd Shop
&T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 83
Out & About at the Sebago Lakes Chamber’s of Business Breaks
#
"Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago." – Bernard Berenson
$
Spend 50 or more
Please mention Uncle Andy’s Digest
Get $10 OFF any order! ROLL TOWELS - ALL TYPES Bathroom Tissue, Trash Liners, Plates, Cups, Napkins, ETC. • Cleaning Chemicals & Janitorial Supplies
NEXT DAY DELIVERY IN L/A AREA!
Stop waiting in line at the Big Box stores for your paper and janitorial supplies! Just call in your order...it’s that SIMPLE!!
Deb McPhail
wiper & paper
No m Minimu Order
120 Mill St., Auburn • 784-5779 or 1-800-439-WIPE • GoodmanWiper.com
The House of Lancaster, symbolized by the red rose, won England's 'War of the Roses.'
Wood Pellets Ed Getty
$199 a ton!
PREMIUM WOOD PELLETS MADE IN MAINE
Call for more information
BRYANT ENERGY 33 Elm Street, Mechanic Falls Dr. Joseph Lee President of St. Joeʼs College
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
84 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
345-4301 or 1-800-698-0032 "Lawyers are the only persons in whom ignorance of the law is not punished." – Jeremy Bentham
"If I promise to miss you ... Will you go away?" – Jimbo to Uncle Andy
FROM SUMMER... TO THINKING OF WINTER I need to fill only 10 residential or commercial jobs.
ALWAYS REASONABLE RATES! References & Insured • Free Estimates
One FREE Snow Plowing with a winter season contract
Call 240.4448 Today!
STILL LOOKING FOR ME? CCURATE CCOUNTING & Tax Services, P.A. • Income Tax Returns • Payroll Taxes
• Sales & Use Tax • Accounting Systems
922 Sabattus Street Lewiston • 777-7005
JASON HALL
(Corner of Sabattus & Garcelon Streets - Across from Val’s Rootbeer)
$
579
– $50
Frigidaire 18.2 Cu. Ft. Top Freezer Refrigerator
INSTANT REBATE
-
NOW $
Model: FFHT1826LW • SpillSafe® Shelves: Designed to keep spills contained, making cleanup a breeze • Store-More Humidity-Controlled Crisper Drawers: Keep your fruits and vegetables fresh in our humidity-controlled crisper drawers.
529
after instant rebate 1822 Lisbon Road • Lewiston, ME (207) 786-5555 67 Centre Street • Bath, ME Local: (207) 443-4711 • Toll-free: 800-734-6963 The worldʼs worst inflation was in Hungary in June 1946, when the 1931 gold pengo was valued at 130 million trillion paper pengos.
Jumping the Gun Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that not only had he died, but the local church had already scheduled his funeral Mass. He quickly phoned his best friend Finnery. “Did you see the paper?” he asked. “They say I died!” “Sure, I saw it!” replied Finnery. “Where are you callinʼ from?” At pilot training back in the Air Corps they taught us, “Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of takeoffs you make.” "The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another." -- William James
$
50 OFF
any purchase of $ 399 or more with this coupon Expires 9.30.10
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 85
Did You Know: The official state dance of Utah is the Square Dance.
BROTHERS CONSTRUCTION Voted “Best of the Best” 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008 & 2009 Greater L/A
Replace Your Roof Today! INCLUDED IN ALL OF OUR QUOTES 5% Off • Remove and haul away all roofing debris!
ANY ROOF JOB with coupon
• Apply 6 feet of Certainteed ice shield. • Apply 15lb. felt paper on entire roof area.
We have Workers Compensation
• Install a 30 yr. Certainteed architectural shingle on entire roof!
783-7299
• Installation of ridge vent on entire ridge.
Senior Citizen Discount
www.LessardRoofing.com email: roofnfools@yahoo.com
Buy a roof and adopt Kelsey! All shots, spaying/neutering paid for by
Lessard Brothers Construction Come on, rescue a friend today!
Kelsey
Nemo & many more animals are available for adoption at the Greater Androscoggin Humane Society
Androscoggin Humane Society • www.gahumane.org Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
86 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
783-2311
"If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done." – Uncle Andy
Famous Firsts: 1904 --- May Sutton Brandy was the first American woman to win the ladies singles tennis championship at Wimbledon.
SEPTEMBER SPECIALS Frame & Lens Complete Package
UA
of Business Breaks
Single Vision Prescription Lens*
No Line Bifocals
$
Out & About at the Sebago Lakes Chamber’s
With frame, poly & anti-reflective coating
99
Must present coupon • Not to be combined with other offers Specialty enhancements & lenses are extra. Expires 9/30/10
only
$
79
Must present coupon • Not to be combined with other offers • Expires 9/30/10
Now accepting most major insurances
UA
120 Center Street Plaza, Auburn Mon - Fri 9:30 AM - 6:00 PM Sat 10 AM - 3:00 PM
Vision at a Value
Visit us on Facebook
783-4226
Connie & Bud Minott
*Basic prescription, some limitations may apply, see associate for details
Sometimes the best way to hold onto something is to let it go. – Author Unknown
Plummer Composites Fiberglass Boat Repair
ain”
“We can
new ag t a o b r u o y make
Structural to Scratches Blister Repair Bottom Painting Gel-coating & Painting Detailing
207-650-6485 Famous Firsts: 1867 --- Lucy Hobbs Taylor was the first woman in the U.S. to become a certified dentist.
Betty Jo & Norm Cash
The Bartenders Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 87
Uncle Andy’s Trick Photography
"The theory used to be you marry an older man because they are more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature. So you might as well marry a younger one." – Anonymous
SPECIAL: 10 lbs. Grass Seed FREE With purchase of 5 yards or more of Screened Loam
GRASS SEED 10LBS.
FREE ESTIMATES
Call 782-3617
Est. 1945
1331 Sabattus Street, Lewiston
If it were removed from the body, the small intestine would stretch to a length of 22 feet.
brendafontaine.com goes Mobile! brendafontaine.com puts Real Estate in your hands A cutting edge way to receive new listings first. Visit our site on your mobile device and you’ll now see brendafontaine.com optimized for it.
336 Center Street, Auburn Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
88 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
784-3800
The human brain is about 85% water. Uncle Andyʼs is more like 97.5%
By the time you turn 70, your heart will have beat some two-and-a-half billion times (figuring on an average of 70 beats per minute).
Improve the comfort and beauty of your home by creating OPEN SPACES.
Out & About at the Sebago Lakes Chamber’s of Business Breaks
Our creative team can help raise the value of your home. With our affordable prices, you might be pleasantly surprised by the outcome, and may never want to sell your home. Best prices with the highest quality workmanship.
Think Decks, Garages, & Sunrooms, too!
“The Difference is in the Details”
Call 753-9887 or 576-8528
OVER 20 YEARS OF BUILDING EXPERIENCE Fully Insured • Many References Available
30% to 50% OFF
Clark & Phyllis Smith
leftover products, outerwear, boots, bindings
Super Specials throughout September
This is the time to stop in and save!!
1 Garfield Road, Auburn • 344-6622
NEW 2011 PRODUCTS ROLLING IN DAILY
Alan & Julie Freedman
friday nite cruise nites Presented by: Andy’s Baked Beans, New Auburn Social Club, Rolly’s Diner and Happy Days Diner
A bi-weekly community event September 10th & 17th 50/50 raffle Giveaways
Time: 6pm-8pm Place: Second Street, New Auburn, behind Rolly’s Diner Andy’s Baked Beans will have food specials for cruise cars
Cruisin’ downtown New Auburn!
Ken Kay Lee Cars
Oldies Music A special thanks goes out to Andy Pratt and his wife for a great balloon glow. Great job!
FMI Contact Leroy Walker 577-2694 • email: dmusicman5060@yahoo.com
In a lifetime the average US resident eats more than 50 tons of food and drinks more than 13,000 gallons of liquid.
"If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it." -- Anthony J. D'Angelo Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 89
REAL ESTATE • HOME IMPROVEMENT GUIDE
ANDROSCOGGIN TITLE COMPANY 95 MAIN STREET • AUBURN, MAINE 04210 Title Insurance • Title Searches • Real Estate Closings
Bart Kelsea, President (207) 784-6413
RESERVE EARLY!
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 31
Drapeau’s
Personal Service One-of-a-Kind Costumes Plus Sizes too!
Costumes of Maine
Rentals, Theatrical makeup, wigs, unique retail costumes & accessories
20 Main St. Lisbon Falls, ME • 353-2216 CARL CROSEN
CHRIS BAIN
Tenacious.
Determined.
376.3007
376.3007
Who do you want to be for Halloween?
GARY BAIN Leadership.
376.3007
East Coast Mortgage Group, LLC
East Coast Mortgage Group, LLC
East Coast Mortgage Group, LLC
316 Center St. • Auburn
316 Center St. • Auburn
316 Center St. • Auburn
866.579.ECMG
866.579.ECMG
866.579.ECMG Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
90 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
The only crime defined in the U.S. Constitution is treason - Article III, Section 3.
"What is algebra exactly; is it those three-cornered things?" – J.M. Barrie
of Business Breaks
Out & About at the Sebago Lakes Chamber’s
Bill Crane, Jerry Seavey & John Peters Previous Chamber Presidents & Founding Fathers
Bill Chicoine & Pat Lawler Original members of the chamber
Rachel Phinney, Cheryle Neilsen-Pesce & Katy Hiller Bonny Staffing
John & Chris Williams
Laurie Noel of Cross Insurance introduces “Survivor Bob” Crowley
The only repealed amendment to the US Constitution deals with the prohibition of alcohol.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 91
Uncle Andy’s Trick Photography
The Hundred Year War actually lasted 116 years (1337 to 1453).
FIRESIDE STOVE SHOP AND FIREPLACE CENTER
WOOD • PELLET • GAS STOVES & FURNACES
Area’s Largest TENT SALE Inventory! Sept. 17th & 18th
• Jotul • HeartStone • Harman • Vermont Casting • Napoleon • Lopi • Odds & Ends • Super Discounted Rates • Closeouts
DIRECT-VENT FIREPLACES Gas Stoves & Fireplaces
784-9249 1-800-244-9249 www.firesidestoveshop.com Near Lake Auburn on Rte. 4 1220 CENTER ST. • AUBURN Monday-Friday 9am-6pm • Saturday 9am-4pm
33 Years in Business! Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
92 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
The first US Marines wore high leather collars to protect their necks from sabres, hence the name "leathernecks."
The first modern Olympiad was held in Athens in 1896. 484 contestants from 13 nations participated.
FAMILY OWNED AND OPERATED! Over 200 colors from around the world!
Uncle Andy was a little upset about the story we ran last month regarding him calling some cheerio’s donut seeds. He took this photo to prove he was accurate in his thinking...
Also offering Quartz countertops Cambria, HanStone, Silestone, Zodiaq, Caesarstone, Viatera
We template and install all of our work
Good one Uncle Andy!
786-5556 995 Center Street, Auburn Hours: Mon-Fri 9am-5:30pm; Sat 9am-2pm
www.granitemarblecountertops.net The first U.S. Minimum Wage Law was instituted in 1938. The minimum wage was 25 cents per hour.
For All General Home Repairs & Improvements
HOME IMPROVEMENT SERVICES Paint Man & Roof dawg are ready to save the day! Interior & Exterior Painting Roofs of all sizes
FREE ESTIMATES • • • •
Carpentry Sheetrocking Plumbing Flooring
784-8922 President George Washington created the Order of the Purple Heart in 1782. It's a decoration to recognize merit in enlisted men and non-commissioned officers.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 93
Out & About at the Sebago Lakes Chamber’s
REAL ESTATE • HOME IMPROVEMENT GUIDE
of Business Breaks
Laurie Noel with Survivor Bob
On December 20, 1860, South Carolina was the first state to secede from the Union.
Come enjoy these Everyday Specials Barbara Clark with Survivor Bob
Monday: Cheeseburger Deluxe Plate w/FF
$5.99
Tuesday: 50¢ Wings & Tenders after 2pm
Thursday:
Wednesday:
1/2 OFF Appetizers
Reuben Plate w/ FF
Broc. & Cheese Haddock
$5.99
(selected menu)
w/ rice & veggie sticks
$8.99
Friday: Fresh Haddock Fish ‘n Chips
$7.99 Part of the Leeʼs Family Trailer gang Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
94 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
Saturday: Beer-battered Shrimp w/FF & slaw
$9.99
782-2135 Hours: Mon. - Sat. 10:30am - 9 pm Sun. 11am - 5 pm
New York's first St. Patrick's day parade was held on March 17, 1762.
Of the 262 men who have held the title of pope, 33 have died by violence.
SUMMER & FALL PROJECTS Twin Construction can do it! New construction • Remodeling • Roofing Flooring • Windows • Light excavation & more!
Certified Lead Safe Renovator
TWIN
CONSTRUCTION
Call 345-TWIN
Out & About at the Sebago Lakes Chamber’s of Business Breaks
Attention everyone... Tom Nash has a major announcement! Tom?
Buying Distressed Properties
or 576-5494 or 740-0040 Stuart Leckie Nevada was the first state to sanction the use of the gas chamber, and the first execution by lethal gas took place in February, 1924.
Blake Dow turns 1
Thanks, Stu. Look for me in an upcoming Survivor season. My plan is to become the next Maine resident to win the $1,000,000 prize.
Tom Nash Windham Adult Education
Happy Birthday
Blake
Love, Mommy & Daddy "A mom reads you like a book, and wherever she goes, people read you like a glowing book review."
The word "aerobics" was invented when the gym instructors got together and said: "If we're going to charge $20 an hour, we can't call it Jumping Up and Down." Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 95
Out & About at the Sebago Lakes Chamber’s
Worldwide, goats provide people with more meat and milk than any other domestic animal.
of Business Breaks
www.abcpool.com
Holy Smokes, Batman In 1985, a large piece of ice (6 feet long and 8 inches thick) fell from the sky and almost hit a 13-year-old child playing in his backyard. The piece of ice apparently was ice that had gathered outside a malfunctioning airline toilet and fell. Liquid Waste Pumping • Portable sanitation facilities
“Survivor Bob” Crowley winner of Survivor: Gabon. Bob is a physics teacher by trade. Survivor has certainly changed his life, as he now travels around on the speaking circuit with his wife Peggy. He made a stop to tell us all about his Survivor experience.
Service Rental Sales
Do not neglect your Septic System For proper maintenance, it should be pumped periodically.
CALL US TODAY TO SET UP AN APPOINTMENT
G.A. DOWNING CO., INC. 111 Woodman Hill RD Minot, ME 04258 207.782.4508 800.924.4500
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
96 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
We carry risers, covers, baffle replacements, septic additives.
When a female horse and male donkey mate, the offspring is called a mule, but when a male horse and female donkey mate, the offspring is called a hinny.
Turkeys originated in North and Central America, and evidence indicates that they have been around for over 10 million years.
Available at:
Heating, Air Conditioning & Plumbing 137 Spring Street, Auburn
1-800-287-3246 or 786-3246
Out & About at the Balloon Festival
Sure thing, boss!
The
Holy crap!
Don’t worry... my boys got it under control, right guys?
Nothin’ to it!
ancient
Holly’s Heating Oil
Egyptians
Now serving Lewiston/Auburn!
slept on pillows
Mention this ad and receive
5¢ per gallon discount New Lewiston/Auburn accounts only
Expires 9/30/10
made of
380 Main Street, Westbrook & 38 Elm Street, Biddeford
stone.
RachelGendron@HollysOil.com • www.HollysOil.com
1-800-554-6559 or 854-5035
A rat can last longer without water than a camel can.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 97
DISCONTINUED OLYMPIC SPORTS: Golf: men - last in St. Louis in 1904.
FALL VACATIONS ON SALE NOW!
Blackie’s Farm Fresh Produce
Open Year Round 908 Minot Ave. • Auburn • 786-0005 Hours: 6am - 8pm
Go to some really cool places!
996 Sabattus St. • Lewiston • 783-7020
ne Gro Compost i a M Exceptional Quality Biosolids Compost $7.00 per cubic yard (small pickup load) (bulk discounts available for 100 yards or more)
www.dragonflytrips.com • 1-888-222-6846
Monitor Heater Sale Gas units only $
50-100 OFF
Sold Tuesdays, Fridays & Saturdays 8-5
Gardener’s Black Gold!
Gf1800 -
Gf3800
782-0917 Lewiston-Auburn Water Pollution Control Authority 535 Lincoln Street, Lewiston
FOUR SEASON SERVICE
Downeast Sharpening
Emma on her first dive
7 Main St. (Junction of Rt. 302 & 121) Raymond
1525 Lisbon Street Lewiston ME, 04240 783-6927 • 1-800-834-5706 Fax: 783-2873 Mon-Fri 7:30-5:30 • Sat. 8-4
with this Ad
If you ever wanted to try Scuba Diving, here’s your chance. Come join us in confined waters using the latest gear.
Complete Sharpening Service DOLMAR
Ends Sept. 30, 2010
See store for details
FREE Discover Scuba Session
Sales & Service of Outdoor Power Equipment Glen A. Gisel
Call NOW for a great price! IT’S TIME. KICK BACK. RELAX.
Call 784-7300 for an appointment shindaiwa
Barclay s Skindivers Paradise
655-4635
www.skindiversparadise.com
www.downeastsharpening.com
Hunting • Fishing • Firearms • Ammo • Gear
GPSʼ Original Design
ird ber is b Septem onth. e-up m n u t g o d ay! Call tod 1311 Roosevelt Trail (Rt. 302) • Raymond • 655-1030 Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
98 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
DISCONTINUED OLYMPIC SPORTS: Golf: women - last in Paris in 1900.
REAL ESTATE • HOME IMPROVEMENT GUIDE
Hot Air & Boiler Cleaning Special Includes:
Oil Filter • Pump Screen • Nozzle • Efficiency Test
$
95
149.
Save $400+ If you haven’t had your heating system cleaned in the past 12 months this is what it may be costing you… 15% efficiency loss of 1000 gallons of heating oil at $2.70/gal (.15%x1000/gals.x$2.70/gal.=$405.00) or pay $149.95 and help yourself!
Meeting your needs in Air Conditioning, Ventilation, Heat and Refrigeration. Owner Al Hamel • Lewiston, ME 782-6336 • www.alshvac-r.com Email: alshvac@gwi.net
Specialists for installing Rinnai Monitor Heaters LP, Natural Gas & K-1
Out & About at the Couillard Family Reunion
Jeremy, Athena, Harley & Joseph Bussiere
Summer rocks!
Adrienne, Doreen & Nicole
ULTIMATE EXTERIOR HOUSE PAINT The Ultimate In Looks and Life • Outstanding color retention in flat, mid-gloss, high-gloss and soft gloss sheens
Emma Dube is just a year old and has been diagnosed with Hepatoblastoma. Hepatoblastoma is a rare liver cancer in infants and children. Emma is currently at Stage 3. This means that the tumor is too big to “just” remove. She has to undergo 6 cycles of chemotherapy treatment. Each cycle is about 3 weeks long depending on her blood cell counts. Emma has just completed the 2nd round of chemotherapy. She will have another surgery within time to remove the tumor, and the doctors are hopeful that the tumor will shrink with chemo. For now, all we can do is pray for this little girl and her family. With your help and donations, you can help make a difference in this little girl’s life! Music Unlimited Promotions has organized a benefit concert at Club Texas in Auburn on September 11th, from 37pm. The cost is $10 per person at the door. Food from Zapizza, The Portland Pie Company, The Tailgate Gourmet, along with Dunkin Donuts and CVC Catering Company are included in price. The will be a cash bar, and there will also be raffled prizes and giveaways, including a Romantic Night at the Ramada, sponsored by Gleason Media Services. We are getting sponsorship from local businesses, and vendors in the area, not only to raise awareness, but also to help alleviate some of the financial burden as well. Tom Dube, Emma’s father, owns Dube’s Music in Lisbon Falls. So come out on September 11th, and ROCK OUT with us, and help support little Emma Dube and her family! Music by: Strings of Calamity, Marble Socket, Electric Zero and The Motor Creeps.
From the makers of Spackle®
Thanks to our sponsors: Music Unlimited Promotions, Gleason Media Services, Club Texas, Zapizza! Market, The Portland Pie Company, The Tailgate Gourmet, Dunkin Donuts, CVC Catering Group, Prvy's Gifts, Shad's Advertising, Sweet Pea Designs, TW Howell Web Designs, Technipixel Solutions, Uncle Andy's Digest, Cassiel's Day Spa, Northeast Charter and Tour Company, Deep Sea Creations, Carol Savage Photography, Liquid Sunshine Car Wash, Days Jewelers, Discovery Toys Wendy Mitchell, George's Pizza, The Library Cafe & State Farm Insurance - Jane Billings
The American Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) was formed in 1866.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis
• Superior adhesion to oil and latex • Highest performance on any paintable surface • Useable on wood, metal, concrete, stucco, brick and more
Engineering By The Gallon. Since 1894 Ultra • Ultimate Superfinish • Power Hide Lumber Jacket • 2205 • 563
516 Sabattus Street • Lewiston • 784-1993 • M-F 7am-5pm, Sat. 7:30am-1pm
www.lewistonpaint.com
&T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 99
Signs - Theyʼre everywhere
My functioning today is brought to you courtesy of lots of caffeine & sugar.
WOW! The Barn is back in L/A! Opening soon at the Railway Station at 179 High Street in Auburn
L/A’S NICEST CORPORATE & RESIDENTIAL STORAGE FACILITY
Rental Containers for Moving or Storage CALL TODAY FMI
229-4508 Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
100 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
I am in negotiations with the dust bunnies to stop their coup but the laundry monster has their own agenda.
Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type "lol", i type "lqtm": "laugh quietly to myself". It's more honest.
Uncle Andy’s Digest
BEST PRICES OF THE YEAR
Last month we shared some blast from the past photos. Celebrating our 15th anniversary. They were such a big hit we decided to dig even deeper...
Pix from the past
up to
$
Mountain View Stove Shop LLC
1500
Govt. Rebate
328 Upper Street, Turner ME 04282
Model #1450
225-6104 • 713-0067
Lifetime warranty Overnight burn Heats up to 2000 sq. ft. home
Sat. 9-4 • Sun. 11-4 or by appointment
www.mvstoves.com
LOCALLY OWNED AND OPERATED
ur g yo E! n i r B ETIT APP
Serving BEER & WINE
Serving BREAKFA ST & LUNCH all day!
600 Turner Street, Auburn 784-3434 • www.heidisauburn.com
PATIO IS OPEN
HOURS: Mon-Sat 7am-9pm Sun 10am-8pm
VOTE ONLINE NOW for Lewiston/Auburn
When MIKE HENSON is on the phone at Cameron Tire most people think heʼs discussing car related things. Truth is, heʼs not. Heʼs usually calling Uncle Andyʼs Digest to ask Jimbo if production is on schedule. We usually tell him weʼre way ahead just so heʼll leave us alone for a few days.
15 years ago, marketing mogul
www.bestofsurveys.com MARKET SURVEYS OF AMERICA
Candace Sanborn
Uncle Andy says padded rooms are just bouncy houses for grown-ups!
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis
told us, “…You create the life you want by the choices you make.” &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 101
Uncle Andy’s Digest
Uncle Andy is trying to Buy an Oompa Loompa on eBay.
Pix from the past Last month we shared some blast from the past photos. Celebrating our 15th anniversary. They were such a big hit we decided to dig even deeper...
Trash & Garbage • Furniture & Appliances • Construction & Demolition Debris Boilers & Scrap Metal • Brush & Trees • Buildings Demolished & Removed
Fall is a great time to clean out attics, cellars & garages! Over 10 years making unwanted stuff go away!! Connie King Lost Valley
Property Services Especially Foreclosures Trash outs, Lock changes & secured, Cellars pumped Demolition (one room or the whole building) Roofing, painting porches and other light repairs
René Gaudette Pineland Lumber
After seeing that René hadnʼt changed much in 15 years, Jimbo realized neither had Uncle Andyʼs ability to get a photo in focus...
Farrell Enterprises Geez, Dad is always on the phone!
Great! You saw my ad in Uncle Andy’s Digest!! We’ll be right over...
CALL US FOR A FREE QUOTE!
Fully Insured Karla & Tobie Violette Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
102 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
782-5300 or 576-2501
Paul & Mike Farrell
Uncle Andy wants to know if you stay awake all night, do you still have morning breath?
"A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him." – David Brinkley
Uncle Andy’s Digest
Pix from the past Last month we shared some blast from the past photos. Celebrating our 15th anniversary. They were such a big hit we decided to dig even deeper...
Ernie “Frenchie” Gagne Four of Frenchie’s Favorites
Patty, Scott & Stephanie Gagne with Mike Bordick
Deb Wagemann*ChFC 800-561-8506 Oxford/Auburn
Marioʼs owner Amos Gray relax for a quick second while he basks in the results of a recent survey. It was announced last week that Amosʼ Marioʼs Restaurant was determined to be the largest distribution outlet for Uncle Andyʼs Digest in New Gloucester.
The anaconda, one of the world's largest snakes, gives birth to its young instead of laying eggs.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039 103
SEPTEMBER
Uncle Andy wishes life would throw strawberries so he could at least make daiquiris.
SPECIAL
FULL AUTO RECON
V-DUB BLOWOUT MONTH Lots of great VW’s on sale now! 06 VW JETTA 2.5 PKG. 1
$
*
115
*Most autos
Call for appointment WE DO Headliners & Impossible Stains
Raymond’s Reconditioning Call for an appointment
240-0773
$
12,490
04 VW PASSAT GLX Black, 88K, Auto w/tiptronic, Turbo, Leather, 180HP, 31MPG, ABS & Traction Control, CD & Premium Audio $
10,490
65k, 5 Speed with Alloy Wheels, Tan Leather, Sunroof, Heated Seats, Disk Changer and more
V6, Leather, Roof, Completely Loaded, Automatic, 86k, Steering Wheel Controls, OnStar
05 VW JETTA 2.5L
07 JETTA WOLFSBURG EDITION
Black, 88K, Auto w/tiptronic, Turbo, Leather, 180HP, 31MPG, ABS & Traction Control, CD & Premium Audio $
Black, 88K, Auto w/tiptronic, Turbo, Leather, 180HP, 31MPG, ABS & Traction Control, CD & Premium Audio $
11,990
11,490
Auto with 64k, Automatic, Gray leather, Sunroof, Woodgrain Trim Int, Disk Changer, Heated Seats
Automatic, Alloy Wheels, CD, Roof, Black Leather, 82k
04 VW PASSAT GLS 4MOTION
06 JETTA 2.5L
Black, 88K, Auto w/tiptronic, Turbo, Leather, 180HP, 31MPG, ABS & Traction Control, CD & Premium Audio $
Black, 88K, Auto w/tiptronic, Turbo, Leather, 180HP, 31MPG, ABS & Traction Control, CD & Premium Audio $
10,990
9,490
4 cyl w/Turbo, 5 Speed, AWD, Alloy Wheels, Sunroof, CD, Loaded
5 cyl. Automatic, Loaded with Sunroof, Gray Leather, CD, Heated Seats, 85k
See more VW’s and lots of other great cars online at
753-0033 Adam Raymond, Owner Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
104 SEPTEMBER 2010 783-7039
LakeCityExports.com 867 Center Street, Auburn Ah, another productive Friday. Today will mainly consist of me doing a lot of nothing, and working really hard at appearing to be productive. – Uncle Andy