UNCLE ANDY’S DIGEST
.com
THE MOST UNUSUAL DIGEST IN AMERICA
We buy: Brass Copper Aluminum Wheels Radiators Batteries Catalytic Converters Cell Phones Tin Steel And More!
Harvey Metals
FREE September 2012
Buying from the public!
Superior Grading & Pricing Maine’s Largest Catalytic Converter Buyer Family Owned & Operated
TOP PRICES PAID! Hours: Monday - Friday 8-5; Saturday 9-3
41 Capital Avenue, Lisbon Falls
Buying B2B!
(off Rt. 196, near Rite Aid)
353-JUNK (5865) • HarveyMetals.com
Armandsab@aol.com
Kevin M. Connelly, D.M.D. 1065 Lisbon Street, Lewiston • 376-4977
Now Accepting New Patients See page 8 FMI
Dinner reservations start at 4pm
Japanese Cuisine Experience a dinner that is unique to L/A
Crazy Wednesdays $3 Crazy Sushi Rolls 4-7pm Open Mic Night 7-10pm
www.sea40me.com
40 East Ave., Lewiston (Lewiston Mall Shopping Center)
795-6888
Letter Sorting
Fun Fact: It takes seven years for a lobster to grow 1 pound.
Submitted by Jimbo
Uncle Andy had gotten a part time job at the Post Office and the supervisor there had been warned that he was somewhat of a dullard, but the supervisor took a liking to him and agreed to let Uncle Andy help him. If nothing else, he would be an extra set of hands. The supervisor gives Uncle Andy the job of sorting, and much to everyone's surprise, he separated the letters so fast that his motions were literally a blur. Extremely pleased by this, the supervisor approached Uncle Andy at the end of the day. "I just want you to know," he said, "that we're all very proud of you. You're one of the fastest workers we have ever had." "Thank you," said Uncle Andy, "and tomorrow I'll try to do even better." "Better?" the supervisor asked with astonishment. "How can you possibly do better?" Uncle Andy replied, "Tomorrow I am going to read the addresses." Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
2 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Abundant poverty
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Absolutely unsure
MODERN WOODMEN OF AMERICA SEPTEMBER 2012 Wednesday, Sept 5th Luiggi’s 4pm – 7pm (Chapter 12907) 63 Sabattus Street, Lewiston $4 Member $4.50 Guest Saturday, Oct 6th Member Appreciation Day 11am – 1:30pm (Chapter 12907) Modern Woodmen Office, 184 Webster St, Lewiston FOR MEMBERS ONLY – FREE Sunday, Sept 9th KC Breakfast 8am – 10am (Chapter 7938) Columbus Dr, Brunswick $4 Member $5 Guest Child/under 10 free Tuesday, Sept 11th Schemengee’s 4pm – 7pm (Chapter 10589) 551 Lincoln St, Lewiston $7.50 Member $8.50 Guest Thursday, Sept 13th Center St Café 7am – 10am (Chapter 12749) 945 Center St. Auburn $4 Member $5 Guest Sunday, Sept 16th Flagship Cinema (Chapter 14346) Lewiston/Auburn $4.50 Member $5.50 Guest Wednesday, Sept 19th Grid Iron 4pm – 7pm (Chapter 14437) 1567 Lisbon St. Lewiston $8 Member $8.50 Guest Tuesday, Sept 25th Dubois Café 11am- 1pm (Chapter 8609) 906 Sabattus St., Lewiston $4 Member $4.50 Guest Wednesday, Sept 26th Pizza Hut 11:30 – 1pm (Chapter 10929) Rt 26, Norway $5 Member $5.50 Guest
I was gonna tell a hoarding joke....but I think I'll keep it to myself!
TICKETS ARE LIMITED – NO RETURNS & NO REFUNDS ALLOWED Prices, Dates and Menu are subject to change. If additional info is needed, please call our office, please do not call restaurants. All activities can only be attended at the times listed. ************************* Tickets need to be purchased at the Modern Woodmen District Office, 184 Webster Street, Lewiston for all activities and can only be picked up the week prior to the activity, Monday – Thursday 9am - 4pm & Friday 9am - Noon (excluding Holidays). Call 782-1833.
Uncle Andy’s Digest MAILING ADDRESS: PO Box 3363 Auburn, ME 04212 E-MAIL: editor@UncleAndys.com PHONE: 207 783-7039 FAX: 207 777-3898
The Metro Goldwyn Mayer lion lived in Memphis, Tennessee.
QUALITY CUSTOM DENTURE WORK Affordable Dentures
www.UncleAndys.com
Poorly fitting or broken dentures repaired on-site, usually same-day service!
SEPTEMBER 2012
FREE CONSULTATIONS
Staff JIMBO
Mike & Joe Adkins, licensed denturists
Most Dental Insurances Accepted • We also accept Credit & Debit Cards
SMILE AGAIN DENTURES
On Par
801 Webster Street, Lewiston
TRAVIS
514-0660
First & Ten
www.smileagaindentures.com
UNCLE ANDY
See us for: • Full Dentures • Immediate Dentures
Vino & Reno
• Rebases • Relines • Repairs
MAGGIE The Saint
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Accurate rumor
MARTY The Ace
ANGIE The Mobber
Uncle Andy’s Digest is published by the first Friday of every month by Maine Mountain Ocean Group, Inc. with offices at 9 Grove Street, Auburn, ME. It is distributed free throughout Central Maine and mailed to subscribers all over the world. Subscriptions are $30/year. Send a $30 check made out to Uncle Andy’s Digest to: P.O. Box 3363, Auburn, ME 04212 While Uncle Andy’s Digest tries very hard to ensure the accuracy of the information in our client’s advertisements and our publication in general, we are not responsible for vendor availability, typographical errors, technical inaccuracies, product pricing errors, or omissions.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
4 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
O
ur Little Ninjas program has been carefully developed for children, ages 3 to 6, to introduce and reinforce the important life lessons you want them to learn. We start with fun, promote teamwork and friendship and help to create strong individuality and the selfesteem necessary to succeed. Call or visit our school today to enroll your little one!
FREE UNIFORM 1ST MONTH We are the only Certified OKINAWAN KENPO SCHOOL in the Twin Cities
• Karate for Kids & Adults • Self Defense for Men & Women • Yoga • Fitness Kickboxing
Pelletier’s Karate Academy I-35 Taylor Hill Road • Lewiston (1-1/2 miles past Marden’s) Email: pelledojo@aol.com • www.pelletierskarate.com Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Big sip
786-3731
"The best things happen at the exit ramp of your comfort zone." – Karen Salmansohn
Out ’n About at the Cash Mob Event - part deux I deny all rumors that I’m turning 50 in September!
Beryle Martin & Eric Cobb
Alex Jacobsohn & Angie Lafrance (Angie is co-organizer of the L-A Cash Mob)
I’m not quite ready for the price of fame...
Marcel, Maya & Sharon Find Your Favorite Restaurants! Log On to
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out ’n About at the Firehouse Grille
Potential Golf Scramble Team Names: Hole in Ten
This is how the Firehouse rolls...
BACK TO SCHOOL WITH THE Y John & Kathy Roy Co-owner of Firehouse Grille
SCHOOL AGE CHILDCARE • At the Y (Before & After School) • Geiger Elementary (After School) • Montello Elementary (After School)
Convenient • Fun & Productive • Safe & Reliable
COMMITTED TO OUR COMMUNITY Sparks The Rescue is a great band!
Mckenzie Roy & Eric Morin
3rd Annual NAPA Golf Tournament September 20th at Martindale Country Club
9:30am shotgun start
Help support our cause, providing opportunities for kids to LEARN, GROW, and THRIVE
OLWEUS BULLYING PREVENTION PROGRAM Kick-off Event Friday, Sept. 7th, 6-8 pm at the Y. I love retirement! I want to be retired.
6:00 Welcome & OBPP Kick-off 6:30-8:00pm Family Swim & Children’s Activities 1st Y in the state to implement OBPP!
FREE EVENT Pre-register at the Y
Celeste & Vic Mathieu Co-owner of Firehouse Grille Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
6 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
Auburn-Lewiston YMCA • Next to County Building in Auburn 795 4095 • www.alymca.org
If you don’t pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?
A verbal agreement isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on. – Samuel Goldwyn
Out ’n About at the Cash Mob Event - part deux
Marilyn, Lisa & Joan Yeah, I’m cool and I’m ready to CASH MOB!
Great golf excuses to use next time you hit a bad shot: "I drank too much coffee - I have the shakes."
Family owned & operated local area business for over 10 years.
Angela & Mason What a great event for supporting the community
Brooklyn Brown, Olympic Bronze archer, is checking her indoor target with her Dad, Mark. He is the bowhunter in the family, whereas Mom, Kathy, is all about recreational archery with an instinctive recurve.
Archery lessons, lanes, rentals, sales, service, & custom strings.
Handguns Rifles Shotguns Ammo
213 Washington St. • Auburn • 783-3060 centralmainearchery.com Baby robins eat 14 feet of earthworms per day.
Mary Lafontaine & Jules Patry Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out ’n About at the Cash Mob Event - part deux
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Seriously funny
Comprehensive Family Dental Care in a relaxing, comfortable atmosphere
Calvin Rinck LAEGC and fellow cash mobber This is great! We can’t wait to hear about the next mobbing... Cash Mob part trois?
Now Accepting New Patients
Kevin M. Connelly, D.M.D. 1065 Lisbon Street, Lewiston (lower level)
Pauline, David & Joan
376-4977 Financing options available
Keep reading to find out more about this Cash Mob’s highly secret location... Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
8 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
Same Day Emergency Care
www.kevinconnellydmd.com Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Clearly confused
Golfer: "Well Caddy, How do you like my game?" Caddy: "Very good, Sir! But personally I prefer Golf."
Pick Up & Go!
*
Having a get-together and don’t have time to cook? We’ve got the answer! Meatballs Lasagna Platters Smoked Pulled Pork Baked Ziti
Chicken Pot Pie
• Finger Roll • Sandwich • Meat & Cheese • Veggie • Fresh Fruit • Wraps • Dessert
There’s NO PLACE like...
Wings Baked Boneless Chicken Breast
Shepherd’s Pie Chicken Pot Pie Pasta Salads
And Much More! Ask Dad for a menu!! * Please allow 24 hours notice for cold pick-up, 48 for hot
Dad’s Place
23 Pleasant Street, Mechanic Falls • 345-5551 • www.dadsplace.info Golfer: "I've played so poorly all day; I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake." Caddy: "I doubt you could keep your head down that long."
FRESH Made to order when you order it! Subs • Sandwiches • Wraps Burgers • Italians Daily Specials • Breakfast items Cold beer • Agency Liquor Store and so much more!
75¢ OFF Any Large Steak Sub Must present coupon Cannot be combined with any other offers UAD
50¢ OFF
There’s NO PLACE like...
Dad’s Place 23 Pleasant Street, Mechanic Falls • 345-5551 • www.dadsplace.info
Expires 9.30.12
Any Large Italian Must present coupon Cannot be combined with any other offers UAD
Great golf excuse to use next time you hit a bad shot: "Damn it, have you no etiquette? Quit breathing when I swing."
Expires 9.30.12
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Wrinkled Pants
St. Bernard dogs do not carry kegs of brandy, and never have.
Submitted by Jimbo
Doug had always been teased by his friends that his wife was more successful than he was. Some even went so far as to insinuate that he was henpecked. Doug had a sense of humor and always laughed it off. One day, one of his fiends asked the tiresome question again, "Who wears the pants in your family?" "I do," Doug answered. Then, after a pause, he added, "I also wash and iron them."
Rt. 4 in Turner • Just past Twitchell’s Airport • 225-3432 • www.G3Firearms.com
I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.
Benefit Softball Tournament Mechanic Falls Firefighter/EMT-I Jon Damon suffers from Keratoconus which means, Lieutenant Damon’s corneas are thinning causing blisters to form. This is painful and will eventually result in him going blind, if they are not fixed. The only cure is a corneal transplant which will cost about $22,000 for both eyes!
TOURNAMENT INFORMATION • September 15th • $200 Entry Fee • One Pitch Tournament • Location: Mechanic Falls Rec Fields
• Start Time: 8am • Double Elimination • Spaces Are Limited, Sign Up Now!! • Rain Date: Sept 22nd
LET’S PLAY BALL! To sign up or request more information please feel free to email us at: eyes4jon@hotmail.com
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
10 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
Potential Golf Scramble Team Names: The Hole in Fun Gang
Golfer: "Well, I have never played this badly before! Caddy: "I didn't realize you had played before, Sir."
Out ’n About at the Firehouse Grille
ANY MAKE... ANY MODEL... ANY PROBLEM...
Our first “Out ‘’n About” event! More to come!!
Call us today!
NO PROBLEM! • Appointments required, please call first • Fully warranteed & certified • $55/hr labor rate
Brad’s Precision Auto
There’s a lot of Roy’s going on in this column!
144 Riverside Dr., Auburn • 333-0364
Brad Johnson
LOBSTER & CLAM BAKE Includes: 1 Ear of Corn 1-1/4 lb. Lobster 2 Red Potatoes 1 lb. Clams Side of butter
All cooked!
(Please call one hour before pickup)
$
13 $ 16
soft shell
September is the best time to hard eat lobstah!
This guy is a singer from the band Sparks The Rescue and has appeared on MTV!
Always Fresh LaRochelle’s Seafood
shell
“If we were any fresher you’d have to slap us!” We ship anywhere in the US
22 Mill St., New Auburn • 782-3150 • Open daily 9am-6pm
Madison Roy & Tobie McCallister
WOW!
Don’t spend $18 at the beauty salon, get your...
Mens & Boys CUTS for
$
All day – Every day! Walk-ins welcome.
12
Alex, another singer in the band. I can’t believe these guys are locals from Poland!
Flat Tops - Fades - Mohawks - Mens & Boys Regular Cuts
Marcel’s Barber Shop
54 Mill Street, New Auburn
783-3444 OPEN: Tues-Fri 7:30am - 5:30pm; Sat 7:30am - 2pm
Potential Golf Scramble Team Names: Dirty Birdies
Madison Roy & Alex Roy Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Bilingual Parrot
The human brain uses approximately as much energy as a 10 watt light bulb.
Submitted by Jimbo
Uncle Andy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. He sees one on a perch with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. Uncle Andy asks the owner the significance of the strings. "Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you pull the red string he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German," replies the shop keeper. "And what happens if I pull both the strings?" the curious Uncle Andy inquires.
Rolly’s Diner Just good cookin’ and plenty of it!
Breakfast & Lunch Specials Daily
• Unusual Omelettes • Crepes • Breakfast All Day • Extensive Menu
We come here every week. The food is great, the customer service is fantastic, and we love the diner atmosphere!
Janice & Carol Dumais
ut Check o ew n Rolly’s ! u n e m
87 Mill St. New Auburn 753-0171 (for take-out) Mon – Sat 5 am – 2 pm Sunday 7 am – noon
The world camel population is 19,627,000. (last we counted anyway) "I fall off my perch you goober!" screeches the parrot.
Clean Slate It was raining quite hard as U.S. Marine trainees assembled outdoors for a briefing. On a blackboard, the lieutenant instructor had prepared a detailed drawing of the tactics he wanted practiced. "Don't think we're going to call this off just because of a little rain," he said. Then he turned to the blackboard which had been washed clean. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
12 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
NO ORDER TOO SMALL And no minimum purchases! Call us for a FREE quote!! Textile & Paper Wipes
• Sorbents & Safety Supplies • Janitorial Supplies & Can Liners • Breakroom & Food Service • Chemicals & Cleaners • Packaging • Skin Care • And More!
Towels, Tissues & Dispensers
NEXT DAY DELIVERY IN L/A! 120 Mill St., Auburn • 784-5779 or 1-800-439-WIPE • GoodmanWiper.com Vegetarian - an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.
Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to be able to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven," advised the caddy. "You've already moved most of the earth."
Tropic al Har mony
There’s a Lot of Plus working with Auto Cores Plus
All your salt water tank needs right here!
ICE COLD BEER! Snacks & more...
Not to mention all the salt water fish & supplies you’ll ever need
Ron Childs
Marine Fish • Coral • Supplies 272 South Main St. Auburn • www.deepseacreations.com • 1-888-782-4372 • 782-4372
Roller Skating = Family Fun September 8th & 9th afternoon sessions start
12 Riverside Drive, Auburn • 777-3940 www.rollodrome.com
Skate Schedule Thursday Night
Ages 20+ 7:30-10pm
Friday Night
All Skating 7:30 - 10:00
Sat. & Sun.
1:30 - 4:00pm
Saturday Night
Family Night 7:30 - 10pm
Sunday Night
All SK8 • 7:30 - 10pm
Find us on Facebook Dan Larrivee & Rachel Potvin, Owner/Operators
Assisted Home Care II “Our Family Assisting Your Family.” Assisting Families since 1997
Who we are... • • • •
Registered home health care service agency 24 hour personal care and response team Guarantee continuity of caregivers Assist with independent living at home
550 College St., Lewiston • 783-7375 • www.assistedhomecare.org Find Your Favorite Restaurants! Log On to
is the owner/operator of Auto Cores Plus, a mobile auto core buying company. His family has been in the junk auto business for over 40 years. “I think it’s safe to say we totally understand how hard the junk guys work for a living,” says Ron. The biggest thing that sets Auto Cores Plus apart from the rest is that Ron has very little overhead. He does all the work himself, traveling to pick up junk cars and scrap metals from his customers. Because his business is mobile and he doesn’t employ a staff he is able to pay customers more cash for their old batteries, catalytic converters, starters, alternators, radiators and more. “I thought there had to be a way to sell my cores and cut out the large warehouses that were playing the middle men and making a living off my hard work.” Ron figured out that he could pay higher prices to junkers and junkyards in the area for their cores and up the volume of what he was selling to the large refineries. This way he could offer the most money for cores but wouldn’t have to become another large warehouse buyer and could keep his overhead low. If you want to get top dollar for your aluminum rims, batteries, alternators, junk vehicles, and more, call Auto Cores Plus at 240-8798. Ron will pick it up, give you cash, and haul it away! “I offer the best and most honest grading in the business, period!” says Ron. “Sell to me once and you’ll become a lifelong customer.” See his ad on page 77 for more info. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out ’n About at the Irish Twins Pub for a Dempsey Challenge Fundraiser
Say it loud... I’m 50 and I’m proud!!!
A dog's mucus membrane is the size of fifty postage stamps.
NEW LUNCH MENU STARTING AT $4.99 $ .00 Come Enjoy our Outdoor Patio! Wed. Open Mic Nite
Bean Suppah
Thurs. Karaoke Nite
Every Saturday Large “Andy’s Baked Bean” special
Sunday Brunch 10-2pm
$
7.50
Happy Hour Mon-Fri 2-6pm
376-4959
47 Broad Street, New Auburn thefirehousegrille.biz
1
OFF Any purchase of $5.00 or more (food only) with coupon cannot be combined with any other offers
Expires 9/30/12
Lobster & Steak Feed
aine Sept. 9th M h s e Fr obster 3:30pm Tickets on sale NOW! L
New Auburn Social Club 7 Second Street, Auburn 782-9039
$10 Members • $15 Guests All Sports Leagues Starting Up! We’ll keep you posted with informational meetings throughout the month.
GREATER L/A’s SOURCE FOR: Tactical Weapons • Rifles & Shotguns Hand Guns • Personal & Concealed Carry Guns Ammo & Targets • Special Orders
32 Riverside Drive, Auburn • 782-6569 Mon - Fri 9am - 5pm • Sat 9am - 2pm Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
14 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
Golfer: "Caddy, Do you think my game is improving? Caddy: "Oh yes, Sir! You miss the ball much closer than you used to."
The density of Saturn is so low that if you were to put it in a giant glass of water it would float.
Davis Chiropractic
Getting with Davis Chiropractic
SEPTEMBER SPECIAL
Out ’n About at Hair by Gregory’s Open House of their new location
New patients receive a FREE* 25 minute massage *Mention this ad when scheduling. Limited appts. available. Call today!
782-3330 www.healthdavis.com 16 Highland Spring Road Lewiston, ME 04240 Insurance accepted Office Hours: Mon.-Thu. 8-5:30
(Kim Lacasse, CA, Michelle Davis, Jason Davis, DC, Christa Burpee, LMT)
The staff at Davis Chiropractic after the 2012 Spartan Race in Amesbury, Mass. on Aug. 12th. The 5K+ trail race included obstacles like mud pits, monkey bars, hill climbs & barbed wire. Check out our website for more pics! www.healthdavis.com
Dr. Jason Davis Chiropractor & Pain Specialist
Andrea Tedesco Cellist
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Definite maybe
Great Rates & Terms, Fast Approvals too! Call Us Today
Great Falls Federal Credit Union 34 Bates Street, Lewiston • 782-7192 760 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 753-0500 www.greatfallsfcu.com *Restrictions & qualification apply
8 out of 10 people think that the first kiss indicates how the rest of the relationship will be.
Chip Palmer & Kelly Sorraco Trivia Q: What, if dead, has a longer life and if alive, has a shorter life? A: Candle
I got my loan with Great Falls Credit Union!
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out ’n About at the B2B Tradeshow
Golfer: "Caddy, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday? Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a crime any day of the week!"
All photos by Port City Photography portcity-photography.com
It’s all about the Benjamins baby!
Italians Only $3 Sat. & Sun. Only
Locally owned & operated
Cleanliness is next to Godliness... Grampy, how many people did you say would see this photo?
Lost Valley
$1.50 Breakfast Sandwiches
740 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 783-2981 Open daily 5am-9pm • www.mygeorgios.com
Grayce Goldberg
Fred Addi & Salat Assan
Connie King
Apple Cinnamon Donuts are back!
is very photogenic, shown here posing (or picking?) in Zeb’s General Store in North Conway, NH Submitted by our long time friend and Grayce’s grandfather, Duncan Webster
1,000 SF of Professional Office Space Available Immediately
Everything Included in Rent: Heat, hot water, sewer, electricity, internet, plowing, trash removal & off-street parking.
Call 576-4844 FMI Bretton Campbell Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
16 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
Ask about getting first month FREE! In medieval Italy, if a man was caught kissing a woman in public, he had to marry her whether he liked it or not.
"Life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it." – John Maxwell
FALL in Love with your color.
Out ’n About at the B2B Tradeshow All photos by Port City Photography portcity-photography.com
Try some lowlites or an all-over color this season. (Back, l to r) Heather Heckbert, Erica Bolduc, RaeAnne Latouche, Angie Lenhert. (Front) Linda Thompson (owner)
Now offering 1117 Center Street • Auburn (in MetLife Plaza)
784-3522 I didn’t realize you guys delivered the Digest up here!
Don’t you just love a well trained dog?
urbanedgehairstudio.com
Go take a hike!
Shannon Wilson on Streaked Mountain
Those are pretty good disguises up there...
Marc Lajoie & Tessa Albee Double R Crane
Front Set Floor Liners $
97.95
No Drill Mud Flaps Starting at
$
39.95 a set
NEW & USED TRUCK CAPS & MORE!
980 Pond Rd. • Wales, ME • 933-2493
"Speak little; do much. Well done is better than well said." – Benjamin Franklin
Cullen & Adrianna Couture Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out ’n About at the Irish Twins Pub for a Dempsey Challenge Fundraiser
Golfer: "That can't be my ball. It looks far too old." Caddy: "It's been a long time since we started, sir."
Mike Morin’s
Auto Center “A proud member of the Napa Auto Care Team.”
VOTED BEST OF THE BEST 13 YEARS RUNNING (Market Surveys of America)
FRONT END ALIGNMENT
OIL CHANGE
$75.95 Most Vehicles
$24.95
Up to 5 qts. Most Vehicles (Not including Diesels or Heavy Trucks)
It’s never too early to get your vehicle ready for winter! Come see us today!!
1122 Center St., Auburn • 753-0433 Hours: Open Monday-Thursday 7-5pm • Friday 7-Noon
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Soft rock
CAMERON TIRE & SERVICE, INC. FAMILY OWNED & OPERATED SINCE 1983 OUR TIRES
Rod Cameron & Ben Britton
• Wheel alignment & balancing • Complete brake work • Engine tune-up • Lube-oil-filter • State Inspections
60 Minot Ave • Auburn
782-6666 or 783-2026 Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
18 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
A PROUD MEMBER OF THE NAPA AUTO CARE TEAM
Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5-iron?" Caddy: "Eventually."
Being vague is just as bad as that other thing.
STOP BY OUR 2 DEALERSHIPS AT 1298 & 1317 SABATTUS ST. LEWISTON
Inventory
Out ’n About at the B2B Tradeshow All photos by Port City Photography portcity-photography.com
New Inventory Arriving Daily!
06 Audi A4 Quattro 2.0T, AWD, 6-speed, Gold, . . . . . $10000
05 Scion TC, Auto, 118k, Silver . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $7995
05 Audi A4 Quattro 1.8T, AWD, Auto, 136k, Silver . . . $8995
07 Toyota Corolla, Silver . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $8495
Jody Shimamura
04 Audi A6, Wagon, Auto, 114K, Grey . . . . . . . . . . . . . $7995
06 VW Jetta, Silver, 119K, Manual . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $8995
SymQuest
02 Audi A4, 1.8T, 5-speed, 110K, Silver . . . . . . . . . . . . $7995
05 VW Jetta, Silver, 115K, Auto. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $7995
81 Chevy Camaro, Z28, 377 Stroker, 5-speed . . . . . . $14000
05 VW GTI, 109k, Silver, 5-Speed . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $8000
50 Chevy Deluxe, Black, 2-Door . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $14000
04 VW Passat, Turbo, Green, Manual . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $6495
07 Dodge Nitro, 90K, Black, Auto . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $9990
04 VW Golf GLS, Auto, 133K, Blue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $6495
08 Ford Taurus X SEL, Auto, V6, 113k, Maroon . . . . . $10999
03 VW Jetta GLS, 5-Speed, 104k, Silver . . . . . . . . . . . . $6495
05 Ford Escape Limited, 4x4, V6, Auto, 103k, Black . . $8995
02 VW Jetta 98K, Green. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5500
06 GMC Envoy, Black, 105K . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $11995
00 VW Passat GLX VR6, 5-Speed, 114k, Silver . . . . . . $5500
04 GMC Yukon, Charcoal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $9500
00 VW Passat GLS, Auto, 4Motion, 135k, Silver. . . . . . $5000
96 GMC Sierra 2500, Maroon, 115K . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5290
00 VW Passat GLX, 5-speed, 114K, Silver . . . . . . . . . . $5500
04 Honda Accord EX, 5 Speed, 2 Door, 106k , Silver. . $8995
05 Volvo S40 T5, Turbo, 5-Speed 115k, Gray . . . . . . . $9995
06 Hyundai Sonata, Burgundy. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $6300 08 Mazda 3, Electric Blue, Manual . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $8500 03 Mercedes ML500, Black, AWD . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $9995
Other
06 Nissan Altima, Auto, 110k , Silver . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $8550 04 Nissan Maxima SE, Auto, V6, 125k, Silver . . . . . . . $8495 06 Saab 9-5, Auto, Turbo, 118k, Black . . . . . . . . . . . . . $7495 03 Saab 9-3 Vector, 6-Speed, 115k, Gray . . . . . . . . . . . $6995 03 Saab 9-5, Brown, 102K, Auto. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $6495
23’ Baja Outlaw Boat, ‘07, 496 Magnum, Loaded . . . $44,995 ‘08 Yamaha Grizzly 700 ATV, red. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $6000
786-7744
1298 Sabattus St. & 1317 Sabattus St. • www.independentauto.me Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Numb feeling
Michelle Herman SymQuest
Speeding Gallop In 1652, New Amsterdam (now New York City) passed the first speed limit law in the colonies. The decree stated that: "no wagons, carts or sleighs shall be run, rode or driven at a gallop" at the risk of incurring a fine starting at "two pounds Flemish," or about $150 in today's currency. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Great golf excuses to use next time you hit a bad shot: "A fly landed on my ball right when I hit."
SAM’S BODY SHOP GOT HEAT?? FREE Pre-winter Checkup With Ad
Custom Trailer Hitches Sold & Installed Trailer Repairs 886 Main St. Lewiston • 784-0015 • Open Mon. Wed. Fri. 8:00-4:00
I know God promises not to give me more than I can handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much. – Mother Teresa
LOWER HOME HEATING COSTS! Energy Audits • Infrared Imaging • Blown-in Cellulose Insulation
Be prepared this winter. An energy audit now could save you money later! HomeEnergyTechs.com
Lifetime Warranty • Free Estimates Free Pickup and Delivery
Contact Rudy 576-0847
Out ’n About at the Irish Twins Pub for a Dempsey Challenge Fundraiser
"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go..." – Dr. Seuss Uncle Andy’s Digest
...with s & Travi Jimbo
20 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
Yvon’s Car Wash n’ Lube Tuesday: Seniors’ Day Wednesday: Ladies’ Day Thursday: Veterans’ Day Yvon’s Car Care Centers
Receive FREE
Automatic Car Wash
$
3 OFF
Basic Oil Change
$
5 OFF
Premium Oil Change
with Oil Change
698 Main Street • Lewiston • 777-3600 (Between ROOPER’s and BURGER KING) Hours: Mon-Fri: 8am - 5pm • Sat. 8am - 2pm
Limit one coupon per customer. Expires 9.30.12
Out ’n About at the Irish Twins Pub
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Long shorts
for a Dempsey Challenge Fundraiser
10% OFF with this ad
Complete Auto & Truck Repair • Front End Alignments • Engine Diagnostics • Custom Exhaust • Tires, Batteries
• Transmission Flush • State Inspections • Complete Front End Work • Tune-ups
35 Lewiston Rd. • Gray, ME 04039
Ron Moon, Manager
207-657-5000
Remote Starters! Remote Starters! Remote Starters!
216 Center Street, Auburn Next to Republic Jewelry Parking in back of building www.soundeffectsmaine.com
777-3339
COMPLETE AUTO REPAIR FACILITY Body Work • Complete resprays starting at $500 • Custom Paint • Collision repairs • Full spray booth 845 Washington St. North Auburn
24 Hr. Towing State Inspections
Mechanical Repair Brakes • Engine Suspension Tuneups Diagnostics & More
782-5500
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Spectator sport
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out ’n About at the Androscoggin Bass Masters Tournament
"Success is a little like wrestling a gorilla. You don't quit when you are tired -- you quit when the gorilla is tired." – Robert Strauss
in Turner with Community Credit Union, sponsor of the food booth which benefited the Children’s Miracle Network
Established in 1984
‘95 JEE WRANGLP ER Only 51K!!
Hungry fishermen don’t catch any fish...
Truck Caps
Janice Lare serving breakfast sandwiches at 5AM
SEPT. SPECIAL$
4,995
JAZZY SELECT 14XL POWER CHAIR
WAS $5200 NEW
Used Fisher Plows
ASKING $2000
– PARTIAL LISTING –
New inventory arriving daily!! Michelle St. Hilaire, Michelle Green & Laurie Pelletier
Mommy, this event has been reel fun!
Jen & Chase Hogan Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
22 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
07 Jetta, Wolfsburg Edition, Black . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $9995 ‘07 Ford Escape XLS, Loaded, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . only $4995 ‘06 Jeep Commander, Alloys, 3rd Seat. . . . . . . . . . . . . . $8995 ‘06 Chevy Trailblazer LS, 132K . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $6995 ‘06 Dodge Short Box 4X4 Sport, HEMI, Nice!! . . . . . . $14,995 ‘05 GMC K1500 Crew 4X4 2-71, Loaded . . . . . . . . . $12,995 ‘05 Chevy K1500 Crew X4 2-71, Loaded. . . . . . . . . . . $8,995 ‘05 Chevy Trailblazer LT, DVD, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . only $5,995 ‘05 Chevy K1500 X-Cab 2-71 4X4. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $7,995 ‘05 Ford Explorer LT, 3rd Seat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $6995 ‘05 Toyota Corolla S Roof, Alloys, Wing . . . . . . . . . . . . $5,995 ‘04 VW Jetta, St. Roof, Alloys, Only 74K . . . . . . . . . . . $6,995 ‘04 Toyota Camry LE, V6, Roof, Loaded . . . . . . . . . . . . $8,995 ‘04 Mitsubishi Ralli EDT. ST., Alloys, Roof . . . . . . . . . . $5,995 ‘04 Ford F-150 X-Cab 4X4, 106K . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $8,995 ‘03 Toyota Corolla S, Auto, Roof, Wing, 92K . . . . . . . . $7,995 ‘03 Jeep Liberty Sport, Loaded, 78K. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $7,995 ‘03 Dodge Grand Caravan EX, Power Doors . . . . . . . . . $3,995
‘02 Chevy K1500 Reg. Cab 4X4, 67K . . . . . . . . . . . . . $8,995 ‘02 Chevy Suburban LT, 3rd Seat. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5,995 ‘02 Chevy S-10 Crew 4X4 LS, Only 69K . . . . . . . . . . . $7,995 ‘02 Jeep Grand Cherokee 4.0, 6 Cyl., Extra Clean . . . . $4,295 ‘02 Dodge Short Box 4X4, Loaded . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $6,995 ‘02 Chevy Trailblazer LTZ, Leather, Roof . . . . . . . . . . . $5,295 ‘02 Toyota Tundra SR5 X-Cab 4X4, New Frame . . . . . . $7,995 ‘01 Chrysler PT Cruiser Limited, 6K . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5,995 ‘00 Dodge Caravan 3.3 V6, Extra Clean, Fla. Title . . . . $3,995 NEVER A DOC FEE!!
Find us... it’s worth the ride!! TRUCK RACKS
28 Soper Road, Durham
If we don’t have it, we can get it!! Jeff & Rick Roy
353-2538
Potential Golf Scramble Team Names: Where's the beer girl?
The SIGNS are everywhere
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Among the first
We are now located 1/4 mile from the NEW OXFORD CASINO, same side.
SEPTEMBER IS 4X4, TRUCK & SUV MONTH Time to get ready for winter!
LOTS OF TRUCKS & SUV’S ARRIVING DAILY!
HART’S CLASSIC AUTO
inc.
334 Maine St., Oxford / 740-1938 • 777-4847
Your One Stop Shop for Motorcycle Insurance 9 South Main St, Mechanic Falls (207) 345-8711 or 1-800-339-0414 www.CummingsAgency.com
Jeff & Nora Cummings Diane Morissette Leanne Cram
Call or stop in today for a FREE quote!
FREE!
COMPUTER SYSTEM DIAGNOSIS
• Check Engine Light • Airbag Light • Antilock Brake Light • Traction Control System Light Ron Major
*By appointment. Limit one per customer. Offer includes plugging into vehicle computer for testing and diagnosis to determine if more extensive testing is needed. Expires 9.30.12
We are fully ASE Master Certified electrical specialists Let’s get serious! We’re not farmers, we’re car repair specialists!
Tony Doyon (Owner)
183 Lisbon St., Lisbon We are serious... about our good old fashioned quality service! Tony Girourd (Service Manager)
353-9862 qualitycareautorepair.com
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Artificial grass
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out ’n About at Hair by Gregory’s Open House
Potential Golf Scramble Team Names: The Shanksville Duffs
of their new location
I’ve gotta look sharp while I tear it up on the soccer field.
Alex Tedesco A girl’s gotta eat ya know!
Shaina Clark with Kathy
Trivia Q: What did the calendar-maker name his three daughters? A: April, May and June Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
24 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Initial conclusion
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Tragic comedy
Out ’n About at Hair by Gregory’s Open House of their new location
I think it’s time to pump up the volume...
Anthony Tedesco shows off his Fat Albert Afro
The shortest human we have documented evidence on was Pauline Musters of the Netherlands. She measured 12 inches at her birth in 1876, and was 23 inches tall with a weight of 9 pounds at her death in 1885. If you look at zero you see nothing; but look through it and you will see the world. – Robert Kaplan
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out ’n About at the ELHS Class of 1972 40th Reunion Come on Rene, my shirt is way louder than yours...
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Blind eye
Don’s DBA...
MORRIS AUTO PARTS 940 Washington St. North • 784-7374 or 800-730-7374 • Mon. - Fri. 8 - 5 • Sat. 8 - 12
Why buy new, when used will do AND save money? We recycle 99% of all our products, offering almost any year, make, or model, foreign or domestic, auto or truck.
Rene Gaudette & Jack Jalbert
One coupon per customer
Try us out and SAVE
20
% OFF
In-stock auto & truck parts
Together Let’s Think Green and Recycle!
DON’S NO PREFERENCE TOWING CO.
24/7 WRECKER SERVICE Karen Hatch Gagne
Call us if you are broken down. Ask for Don or Debbie for all your towing needs
940 Washington St. • Auburn • 784-4619 If I won't be myself, who will? – Alfred Hitchcock
REMOTE STARTERS Starting at
$ Jim & Michelle Nutting
14999 installed
1,000’ Range
Many other models available Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
26 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
1339 Sabattus St. Lewiston 754-7873
Each starter comes with: • Lifetime Guarantee • 2 Remotes • Expert Installation
The average woman uses her height in lipstick every 5 years.
Out ’n About at the Mac’s Grill Deck Party Sponsored by Geary’s and live music by The Work Trucks
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Presently gone Great golf excuse to use next time you hit a bad shot: "Bermuda grass sucks. My club keeps getting stuck."
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out ’n About at the ELHS Class of 1972 40th Reunion
$
✂
Can you hear me NOW!!!
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Clean toilet
30
OFF*
*ANY BILL $250 OR MORE
✂
Complete Auto Repair SAVE $$ ON GAS Ask about a Fuel Injector System Cleaning
THE SHOP 353-6100
with this ad Expires 9.30.12
CLASSIC CAR PERFORMANCE UPGRADES & RESTORATION
304 Lisbon St., Lisbon
www.theshopclassicrestoration.net
Karen Nichols
HIT THE TRAILS IN YOUR NEW ARCTIC CAT ATV!
SHARE OUR PASSION
AMES SPORT SHOP, Inc 84 Littlefield Road, Auburn • 782-4917 (off Hotel Road & across from Merrow Road)
Tim Walker
828 Minot Ave. Auburn, ME • 795-6666 / Fax: 795-8983
We do: State Inspections • Minor Repairs
Labor Rate $48/hr
Now Offering All New Services
Lynn Lohfeld, Dennis Callahan & Susan Moyes Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
28 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
•Tune Ups • Brakes • Belts • Windshield Chip Repair • Headlamp Restoration • Complete Engine Flush
Labor Rate Only $ 48/hr
OWNER BILL ROY
• Fuel Filters • Deluxe Oil Changes • Sate Inspections • Wiper Blades • Interstate Batteries
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Annual lighting of the eternal flame
The population of Colombia doubles every 22 years.
Out ’n About at the ELHS Class of 1972 40th Reunion
Pat Hall St. Hilaire, Dan Leclair & David St. Hilaire
Jack Jalbert, Tom & Debbie Pontbriand & June Kordalski
Why is it there’s always one guy not paying attention?
Peter Manders, Uncle Andy Marsh, Wayne Galarneau & Ross Bonney
To view the complete inventory of 50 vehicles visit our website:
www.donovansauto.com Stop by, call or click today! 946-7515 • 1-800-811-8856
Nanette Dupont Creamer (& husband) and Connie & Larry Duchette
The average New York City household generates 6.2 pounds of garbage each day.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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4th Husband
With 382,650 babies being born each day and 144,902 people dying daily, the world population increases about 237,748 people a day.
Submitted by Gene Couillard
Channel 8 news was interviewing an 80-yearold lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director," she answered. "Interesting," the newsman thought. He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, and a preacher when in her 60's, and now - in her 80's - a funeral director. The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers. She smiled and explained, "I married... one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."
ANXIETY-FREE DENTISTRY Fear doesn’t have to keep you from getting the dentistry you need and deserve.
• 0% Financing available
• Option of conscious oral sedation or IV sedation
SAME DAY EMERGENCY CARE
THE CENTER FOR ADVANCED DENTISTRY 220 Main Street, Auburn
784-7355 or 866-716-6128 Dr. Robert D. Limoges D.M.D. & Dr. Jonathan A. Bernstein D.D.S.
www.AuburnDental.com Like us on Facebook! We often post coupons and special offers on our page. Find Your Favorite Restaurants! Log On to
"Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light." – Groucho Marx
BRING IN YOUR PHOTOS FOR FRAMING &
Out ’n About at the ELHS Class of 1972 40th Reunion
GET 25% OFF (Must mention this ad for discount)
23 Cross Street, Auburn • 786-4333 • www.DandRFraming.com
XTREME HIP-HOP Who: Kids ages 6-11 When: Classes start Sept. 11th at 4:30-5pm, every Tuesday for 6 weeks
Beautiful Women Uncle Andy, I’ll bet you five bucks that I out live you!
Cost: Just $45
Call 786-9100 to register ASAP
XTREME ATHLETICS www.xtremeathleticsmaine.com 18 Highland Spring Rd. • Lewiston
Phone: 786-9100 Fred Redmun
FALL into a NEW CAREER! You can help enrich the lives of others. WE HAVE OPENINGS IN CENTRAL MAINE
Benefits Include: • Time-off program • PAID TRAINING
• Medical, dental & vision • And more!
Contact Kim Dionne kdionne@supportsolutions.org We are an Equal Opportunity Employer
The mission of Support Solutions is to inspire and support a culture of possibilities.
124 Canal St., Lewiston • 207-795-0672 ext. 2108
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Smaller half
Scott Belanger Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Neat Photography
You always hear people using the phrase “working like a dog” but when is the last time you saw a dog doing any work?
Bakery &
Cheese Fudge Pastries Breads Wine tastings & more
Over 500 labels of wine
r a l l e C e n i W
Search: Benoit’s Bakery
Featuring Donuts by John Frost
• Pick up your Holiday Pie order forms • Many different kinds of pies
Call or stop by for more info 72 Lisbon Road • Lisbon, Maine • 353-7552
www.benoitsbakery.com Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
32 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Never again
Great golf excuses to use next time you hit a bad shot: "I don't have a sand wedge. I lost it in the lake last time I played."
COURTEMANCHE ACHIEVES MEMBERSHIP IN MILLION DOLLAR ROUND TABLE
Michael Courtemanche,
Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't. – Pete Seeger
It’s time
for a change!
You have a professional image to protect, and you couldn’t do it any better than with Scruples. Scruples styling products add flexibility and shine to your hair. You’ll look good, be confident and feel successful. Make an appointment at your salon today - it might change your life.
782-5920
170 Main Street • Auburn
Great golf excuses to use next time you hit a bad shot: "Hackers tore up the green. I can't play competitively under these circumstances."
a representative for Modern Woodmen of America, is one of a small percentage of life insurance agents worldwide to achieve membership in the prestigious Million Dollar Round Table (MDRT) this year. MDRT is an international, independent association of more than 35,000 members, or less than 1 percent, of the world’s best life insurance and financial services professionals. Membership is one of the highest professional honors a life insurance representative can obtain. MDRT members demonstrate highlevel client service and production. Founded in 1883, Modern Woodmen of America touches lives and secures futures. The fraternal financial services organization offers financial products and fraternal member benefits to individuals and families throughout the United States. Michael can be found at their Lewiston office located at 184 Webster Street. Call 782-1833 or see their ad on page 3 for more information. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out ’n About at the ELHS Class of 1972 40th Reunion
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Horse fly
I lost at rock, paper, scissors; so I’m the one who has to look at the camera.
Dave Sheloske
Jamie Isaacson Hey Digest Nation, remember me?
PARTS • SALES • SERVICE WE FEATURE: • Service For All Makes • Parts For All Makes • Sales of New International Trucks • Sales Of Used Trucks Of All Makes
Morrison & Sylvester 1175 Minot Ave. Auburn, ME 04210 Big Gare
783-8548 • www.morrisontruck.net
(aka Gary Dow) Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
34 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Beyond infinity
Neat Photography
Love means nothing to tennis players.
Out ’n About at Hair by Gregory’s Open House (l to r) Cory,
Terry & Nuria
Come see our brand new, totally awesome location! We’re now at 392 Center Street in Auburn.
new em! r u o st Try ing sy iten wh
willowrundental.com
Willo w
Geraldine Schneider, DMD Scott Beckerman, DMD Jeffrey Sloan, DDS
n Dent Ru
• Family cosmetic dentistry • Emergency same-day care • Most insurance plans accepted
soc. As al
Now accepting new patients
Willow Run Dental Association
783-0261 One Willow Run Unit 1-B Auburn, ME
I used to be a people person but people ruined that for me.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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TIME TO CASH IN! Special pricing for quantities and contractors!
Maine’s Most Trusted Recycler Automobile & Truck Batteries Die Cast Alloy Rims #1 Steel Prepared/better grading/better payout Catalytic Converters d e close We’ll b th 4 1 Cell Phone Scrap 0th Sept. 1 vacation! mily for a fa Computer Towers Stainless Electronic Scrap Mother Boards • Core’s Brass • Alternators • Starters • Motors • Pumps Computer Board Scraps Copper • Aluminum • Insulated Wire Electric Motors, Radiators, Transmissions
OPEN SATURDAYS STARTING OCTOBER 1st!
Always paying the best prices! We’ll help you unload.
We look forward to seeing you!
(prices subject to market changes)
Nobody pays higher prices My job then us. Stop by is to write YOU and see for a big check! yourself.
15 Pierce Street, Auburn Across from Maine Oxy. Two driveways down from Doggz Inn.
Mon - Fri 8am - 5pm Gary McCraw (L) Lennie Shanahan (R)
615-7057 or 795-8887
Bev & Peter
The lifespan of a squirrel is about nine years.
Out ’n About at the Mac’s Grill Deck Party Sponsored by Geary’s and live music by The Work Trucks
I wish my website was mobile friendly...
You can house break an armadillo. (Uncle Andy said it, it must be true)
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out ’n About at the Mac’s Grill Deck Party Sponsored by Geary’s and live music by The Work Trucks
Great golf excuses to use next time you hit a bad shot: "I get nervous shooting last all the time."
POOL B UILDERS OF MAINE Q W , UALITY ORKMANSHIP OUTSTANDING SERVICE.
We came for the great food and stayed for the Geary’s and live music!
25 Years Experience We Service all brands of hot tubs!
$ Two of my favorite four letter words: Golf & Deck (party).
500 OFF
Above Ground Pool Kits
CALL NOW TO SCHEDULE YOUR POOL CLOSING
BEST PRICES GUARANTEED!! NEW LOCATION (across from Coleman’s Collision) Mon-Sat 9-5
1525 Minot Ave. Auburn
795-7222
www.poolbuildersofmaine.com Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
38 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
Potential Golf Scramble Team Names: The Bogeymen
Nobody who ever gave his best regretted it. – George Halas
We are a game tagging station!
Out ’n About at the ELHS Class of 1972 40th Reunion
Hunting Season start dates: Bear ....Sept. 1st Goose..Sept. 1st Bird .......Oct. 1st Deer......Nov. 1st Available at...
WE BUY, SELL & TRADE
Peter Manders & Linda Berube
481 Maine Street, Poland Spring • 998-2806 Open 7-days a week: Monday - Saturday 11am - 7pm; Sunday 12pm - 6pm
Great golf excuses to use next time you hit a bad shot: "I am allergic to the pesticide spray. My eyes are watering and I can't see the ball."
Mr. & Mrs. Don Martel
Danny Biron & Cindy Sloat
Brad Sloat Silly Things Actually said by Commentators in the World of Soccer: He had an eternity to play that ball, but took too long.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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It’s a Cats World
Local Restaurants & Entertainment BOX LUNCHES The Uptown and Executive boxed lunches are served on our famous assorted breads and accompanied by potato chips, a pickle spear and a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie.
Uptown Boxed Lunch................$8.99pp This. is. purrrfect!
Roast Turkey, Roast Beef, Ham and Cheese, Tuna Salad, Egg Salad, Veggie
Executive Boxed Lunch .............$9.99pp Italian Sub, Heidi’s Club, Chicken Salad, *Transplanted New Yorker, *Cajun Turkey with Avocado, *Hell’s Kitchen, *Fresh Mozzarella
1/2 Sandwich Boxed Lunch Available..$6.99pp Boxed Lunch Sandwiches limited to above menu (no hot sandwiches available). Sandwiches made with lettuce, tomato, mayo and mustard packets on the side. *Sandwiches contain additional condiments.
Na, na, na, na, na
PA R T Y P L AT T E R S Heidi’s Sandwich Platter An assortment of Heidi’s Favorite Sandwiches: Roast Turkey, Roast Beef, Ham & Cheese, Awesome Chicken Salad, Fresh Mozzarella, Cajun Turkey with Avocado & Hell’s Kitchen.
Medium and Large platters also include: Club Sandwich, Transplanted New Yorker, Veggie & Tuna
Heidi’s Signature Wrap Platter Assortment of Turkey, Ham & Cheese, Roast Beef, Awesome Chicken Salad, Brooklyn Veggie and Tuna made on white, wheat and tomato basil wraps.
Or try a Combination Platter A combination of Sandwiches & Wraps.
Small (feeds 8-12) $85; Medium (feeds 12-18) $135; Large (feeds 18-25) $185
2016 Olympic Gymnastics hopeful
D E S S E RT S Freshly Baked Cookie Platter ..............$1.59pp Dessert Platter ...............................$3.95pp An assortment of cannolis, cookies & brownies
Freshly Baked Brownie Platter ............$2.09pp Freshly Baked Cookie & Brownie Platter ..$2.19pp Made to Order: Mini-Cannolis Platter ....$1.79pp Individual Large Cannoli .....................$2.99 Cakes: Carrot Cake, Cheese Cake or Ultimate Chocolate Cake! Whole Cake (14 slices).......................$49.99 By the Slice ......................................$3.99
B R E A K FA S T
Meat & Cheese Platter
Brooklyn Breakfast Platter .........$4.59pp
Guests can make their own sandwiches from an assortment of ham, turkey and roast beef along with a variety of sliced cheeses. Platters come with homemade ciabatta bread, veggies & condiments. (This platter requires 24hr notice)
An arrangement of bagels, scones and croissants accompanied with cream cheese, butter and jelly.
Small (feeds 8-12) $115; Large (feeds 12-20) $175
600 Turner Street Auburn
784-3434 www.HeidisAuburn.com
Fresh Fruit Platter ...................$5.99pp Juicy pineapple, honeydew, cantaloupe and other seasonal fruits. (Fruit platter require 24hr notice. Min order 8pp)
Susie’s Breakfast Burrito or Breakfast Sandwich Platter ........$5.99pp Burrito: Scrambled eggs, ham, bacon or sausage, potatoes, green chili and cheese all wrapped in a flour tortilla. Sandwich: Scrambled eggs, cheese, with bacon, sausage or ham on a freshly baked bagel or croissant.
Add Coffee to Go .............$14.99 per gallon
HOURS: Mon-Sat 7am-9pm; Sun 10am-8pm
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
40 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
More types of fish live in one Amazon River tributary than in all the rivers in North America combined.
Local Restaurants & Entertainment VOTED #1 Casual Restaurant & Best Burgers in L/A area
t NF L Tic k e
e as o s l l a e m er y ga v e g n i w Sh o HD ! lo ng ... i n
n
80-Seat Private Function Room Available
Follow us on Twitter @gipperssportsgr
HOURS: Sun–Thurs 11:00am – 11:00pm • Fri & Sat 11:00am – Midnight 120 CENTER STREET PLAZA • AUBURN • 786-0715 • www.gippers.com Humility does not mean you think less of yourself. It means you think of yourself less. – Ken Blanchard
ONE PAYS! TWO PLAY!
Pay just one green fee and a friend plays free. Or, pay for two green fees and two play free.
2 for 1
Monday Night Scrambles
ONE FREE GREEN FEE
BUY A 2013 MEMBERSHIP NOW!
5:00PM Shotgun Start - Every Monday Singles or full teams are accepted
Must present this coupon to receive
for each paid green fee. Cart fee mandatory for each player. May not be combined with other offers. Good for 18 holes, Monday thru Thursday all day, Friday thru Sunday after 1 p.m. excluding holidays, tournaments and twilight play. ✃Expires 9.30.12 ✃Expires 9.30.12
Golf the remainder of 2012 FREE!! A variety of memberships are available. Call or visit our website for more info.
Route 100 in Gray • Just minutes from Turnpike Exit 63 For tee times contact Ben Morey at 657-2586
Find Your Favorite Restaurants! Log On to
GOLF CLUB AT COLE FARMS www.springmeadowsgolf.com
Chicken Surprise Submitted by Jimbo
A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the 'Chicken Surprise.' The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast-iron pot. Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly, and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down. "Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband. He hadn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down. Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation. "Please, sir," says the waiter. "What did you order?" The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise." "Ah! So sorry," says the waiter. "I brought you Peking Duck!"
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Recorded live Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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It’s a Cats World
Local Restaurants & Entertainment
Really?
My best prairie dog impression
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
42 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Twelve-ounce pound cake
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: I am sorry, but I never apologize.
Pricey Lemonade Submitted by Richard Collins
It was a hot summer day and a young boy set up a lemonade stand on his front lawn. There were two overturned trash barrels, a board, cups, cold lemonade, and a sign which read LEMONADE $10,000 a glass.
Authentic Thai Cuisine www.purethaikitchen.com
Show your Student ID and receive 15% OFF your dinner
Lunch Special
Only
$
6.99 pm Every day 11am – 3 tizer Includes FREE appe
See our many mouth watering menu items on our website! Shown: Hawaiian Cashew Nut
65 College Street, Lewiston
376-4852 www.purethaikitchen.com Mon - Thurs 11 AM - 9 PM • Fri - Sat 11 AM - 10 PM • Sun 12 PM - 9 PM
Find Your Favorite Restaurants! Log On to
15% OFF Your total bill for dinner Limit one coupon per customer
✃ Expires 10/1/12
A man stopped and walked up to the kid and asked, "How’s business?" The kid replied, "Not too good." And the man said, "Do you think that it might be that your price is a little high?" The kid said, "Maybe, but all I have to do is sell one.
First Supernova In 1181, a supernova was first observed by Japanese and Chinese astronomers. The astronomers recorded the supernova, now known as SN 1181, in eight separate texts. One of only eight supernovae in the Milky Way observable with the naked eye in recorded history, it appeared in the constellation Cassiopeia and was visible in the night sky for about 185 days. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out ’n About at the ELHS Class of 1972 40th Reunion A $1 off! Heck ya, I’m heading to Roy’s. Who’s coming with me?
Local Restaurants & Entertainment
UNBEATABLE BREAKFAST SPECIALS Daily Breakfast Specials served until 11am (All breakfast specials include coffee)
$
5 Washington Street, Auburn • 783-4304 Mon-Fri 5 am to 8 pm • Sat & Sun 6 am to 8 pm Phone Orders Are Welcome
Fresh Steak Cut & Ground Daily!
Nancy Williams Taylor
I am the mailman...
Ross Bonney Their reaction after a conversation with fellow classmate, Uncle Andy*
1 OFF 00
Any Purchase of $500 or more 1 coupon per order
✁
Expires 9.30.12
Bobby Cox, most famous for his Atlanta Braves coaching days, is the fourth most successful coach in baseball history. Bobby Cox started his coaching career in the NY Yankees farm system, where one of the players he coached was Larry Gowell from Auburn, Maine in Double A and Triple A with the Yankees in the late 1960s. Larry was called up to the big leagues for the Yankees in 1972. Shown here is a photo of Larry Gowell & Bobby Cox which was taken at a Celebrity Golf Tournament in Helen, Georgia in April of this year. Larry & Bobby reminisced about baseball stories from 40 years ago. Bobby recalled a game where Larry threw 235 pitches in a double A game in Elmira, NY. Gowell pitched 14 innings and won the game 3-2. It quite possibly could have been the most pitches ever thrown by a major leaguer. These (l) Larry Gowell, Auburn native, EL baseball standout & previous Major days they may throw 100 pitches before the bullpen League Baseball pitcher for the New York Yankees, shown here with MLB takes over. coaching great, Bobby Cox.
L/A’s Full-line Musical Instrument Store! New gear by Ibanez, Tama, Schecter, Alvarez, Orange, Peavey & More TRADES!! Lessons • Setups • Repairs • Buying Used & Vintage Gear • 120 Center Street Plaza, Auburn
Scott Thayer & Danny Biron *Jimbo has that same look almost every time he converses with Uncle Andy. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
44 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
Hours: Mon.-Wed. 10am-6pm Thurs.-Sat. 10am-7pm • Sun. by appointment
mymusicianshub.com • 333-6700 Find us on Facebook facebook.com/mymusicanshub Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Altogether separate
Trivia
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Temporary tax increase
Sat. Sept. 22nd First Annual Country Music Festival Sat. Sept. 29th Cancer Fundraiser 5 BANDS Now serving Prime Rib Thur. - Sat.
Food & CateringBAeverage v Tent Renatailable Call FMI l
LIVE ENTERTAINMENT EVERY WEDNESDAY - SATURDAY
A: She knew it was only a coin.
September Outdoor Tent Parties Sat. Sept. 8th METAL ON FIRE 10 BANDS Fundraiser to benefit victims of Little Canada fire
Q: While on Safari in Africa, Savannah woke one morning and felt something in the pocket of her pajamas. It had a head and a tail, but no legs. When Savannah got up she could feel it move inside of her pocket. However, she showed little concern and went about her morning activities. Why wasn't she concerned?
Irish Twins Pub
"There isn't a single human being who hasn't plenty to cry over, and the trick is to make the laughs outweigh the tears."
743 Main St., Lewiston • 376-3088 (across from Marden’s)
– Dorothy Dix
Hours: Tues.& Wed. 3pm-close • Thurs. & Fri. 11am-close • Sat. 4pm-close
The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it. – General Norman Schwarzkoff
2-Fer Specials Available Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday
2 Fer $14.95
2 Fer $16.95
Chicken Cordon Bleu *Chicken Tenders *Clam Cakes Liver & Onions Roast Stuffed Turkey Virginia Baked Ham Steak Chopped Sirloin Steak **Manicotti w/ garlic bread
Village Inn Baked Scrod *Fish & Chips *Fried Maine Shrimp Baked Haddock Special Baked Stuffed Haddock
You may mix meal choices at the 2 Fer $16.95 price
**Shrimp Salad or **Chef Salad
w/ shrimp stuffing
Broiled Haddock Steak Tips
Outdoor Patio
w/onions (plain or teriyaki)
All meals served with choice of potato & vegetable with the following exceptions: *served with french fries & cole slaw • **served as is (no sides) All meals served with rolls & butter
165 High Street, Auburn • 782-7796 • Open Tuesday - Sunday • www.villageinnmaine.com Potential Golf Scramble Team Names: The Waterballs
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Goulet joins Studio C Salon & Spa
Silly Things Actually said by Commentators in the World of Soccer: With the last kick of the game, he scored with a header.
DAILY SPECIALS FOR BREAKFAST & LUNCH Wall of Fame Inductees!
Now offering beer & wine. And – A New Dinner Menu!
It’s true. He ate the whole thing. I couldn’t be more proud.
Open from 7am - 2pm every morning, and also 3 - 8pm on Fridays & Saturdays.
Kevin Smith of Auburn
Ashley Goulet Aesthetician
Ashley Goulet has joined Studio C Salon & Spa, located at 20 Union Street in Auburn. Goulet, formerly of Cassiel's Day Spa & Dragonfly Day Spa, brings six years of Aesthetician experience to the team. She offers all types of facials with a specialization in AntiAging, and also offers body scrubs, eyebrow & eyelash tinting, facial & body waxing with a specialization in Brazilian waxes. Ashley is looking forward to seeing all of her past clients as well as meeting new clients. To make an appointment with Ashley call Studio C Salon & Spa at 782-3848.
The first crossword puzzle appeared in 1913 in an American paper called "World." It was devised by its editor Arthur Wynne. It was of 32 words and diamond shaped. There were no black boxes in the puzzle. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
46 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
Finish a full-size omelette and have your picture put on our wall of fame!
Join us for dinner! Home of the Double Yolker
Breakfast served all day Superb service • Handicap accessible Comfortable family atmosphere
Egg-ceptional Restaurant & Bakery 5 Pigeon Hill Road Route 26 and 11 , Mechanic Falls • 998-5577
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Constant variable
Catch a Rising STAR 11 year old Jackson Castronova knows the value of music education first hand. He’s in his second year of studying guitar at Main Street Music Lessons, and his first year of playing the saxophone. This year he’s attending Camp of Rock, and in the fall, he’ll be bringing his sax skills to the Farwell School Band. In recognition for his dedication, hard work, and overall musicianship, Jackson received a scholarship from Main Street Music Lessons to Camp of Rock, tickets to see Travis Tritt on July 28, a full setup on his guitar, and a “S.I.T. Strings” care package consisting of a tee shirt and new strings for all his instruments.
(l to r): Brian
Gagnon, Jackson Castronova, Steve Grenier & Arthur Melendy
Camp of Rock, started in 2007, is a 2-week music camp for kids ages 7-17 and is run by Brian Gagnon. The program culminates in a live performance on Saturday, August 18 during the annual Dempsey Challenge. For more information visit: facebook.com/CampofRock Main Street Music Lessons is in its fourth year of providing private music education to the community and supports Camp of Rock with a scholarship every year. It is run by Steve Grenier and Arthur Melendy, and offers lessons in Guitar, Piano, Voice, Woodwinds, Strings, Banjo, and Mandolin, and Ukulele. For more info visit: facebook.com/MainStreetMusicLessons.
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Whole hemisphere
Local Restaurants & Entertainment
Since 1953
www.LuiggisPizzeria.com
Trivia Q: I can sizzle like bacon, I am made with an egg, I have plenty of backbone, but lack a good leg, I peel layers like onions, but still remain whole, I can be long, like a flagpole, yet fit in a hole. What am I? A: A snake
MONDAY The Fergy
TUESDAY Meatball Subs
WEDNESDAY Spaghetti Dinners 1 meatball, salad, garlic bread, drink
THURSDAY Mini Pizza
FRIDAY $1.00 OFF Any Large Pizza
SATURDAY 2 Ham or Salami Italians with 1.5 Liter Drink
EVERY DAY: Regular Pizza with Drink $4.99 Silly Things Actually said by Commentators in the World of Soccer: Well, it's a fabulous kaleidoscope of color: almost all the Brazilians are wearing yellow shirts.
On June 10th 1752, Benjamin Franklin flew a kite during a thunderstorm and collected a charge in a Leyden jar when the kite was struck by lightning, enabling him to demonstrate the electrical nature of lightning. Franklin coined a number of terms used today, including battery, conductor and electrician.
Every Monday throughout September!
beer special $ 50
1052 Minot Avenue, Auburn
783-6885 www.macsgrill.com
Call us for your catering needs!
2 Pints $ 20% OFF 2 OFF
all burgers
Any Lunch Special with this coupon Cannot be combined with any other special. One coupon per person.
✠Expires 9.30.12 The giant Pacific octopus can squeeze its entire body through a hole the size of its beak.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out ’n About with the L-A Harley Band in Rangley where they opened for Travis Tritt in July
Potential Golf Scramble Team Names: Hack Attack
$
5 OFF
Purchase of $20 or more Limit one per visit Expires 09/30/12
Japanese • Korean • Thai • Sushi Bert on guitar
730 Center Street, Auburn Auburn Plaza NEXT TO FLAGSHIP CINEMA
376-4855
jasminecafemaine.com
Find Your Favorite Restaurants! Log On to
Team Hot Sauce Jammin’
That L-A Harley band had me doing a little toe tappin’...
Steve Grenier with his daughter, Amanda Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
48 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
These three soccer players recently stopped by the Uncle Andy’s Digest office to see if we had any returnables we could donate for their fundraiser. They represent the Edward Little High School girls soccer team. But as you can see on their shirts they are “Team Hot Sauce”, a mini-team banding together vying for the top spot of bringing in the most fundraised dollars. Nickel by nickel, they were all smiles and confident they would be the top tamales in their quest. Good luck ladies.
Kylie Bosse, Hannah Smith & Sabryna Montminy Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Required elective
Great golf excuses to use next time you hit a bad shot: "I can't shoot well unless a crowd of people is watching."
BACKGROUND CHECKS
Out ’n About at the ELHS Class of 1972 40th Reunion
Pre-Employment Local, State, National and Federal Criminal History
includes: • SSN Verification/Address Verification • InstaNational Criminal History • Federal Criminal History • Maine SBI Criminal History • Sex Offender/Violent Offender search all states • Interpol / FBI most wanted • Terrorist watch list
$45.00
Tenant Screening
$49.99
State and National Criminal History
Uncle Andy, I can’t believe you’re Andy Marsh!
Christine Redmun & friend Which way did he go?
includes: • SSN verification/Address verification • InstaNational criminal History • Maine SBI criminal history • Sex Offender/Violent Offender search all states • Interpol / FBI most wanted • Terrorist watch list • Trans Union Credit Report w/ credit score • National Eviction Check (Civil courts, all states)
A La Carte Pricing National Criminal History including Sex Offender all states ................................$18.99 SSN Address Verification.................................................2.75 Employment Credit report ...............................................9.00 Tenant Credit Report w/ score ........................................9.00 State of Maine SBI check...............................................24.00 State of ME drivers license history .................................9.00
Personal and professional reference checks ..............$10.00 Education verification....................................................15.00 Prior Employment verification......................................10.00 Professional License verifications.................................10.00 Single state Eviction check...............................7.00 per state National Eviction Check ................................................11.00
Other verification and Private Investigator services are available. All searches are conducted and filtered by a licensed private investigator to meet FCRA regulations to reduce your liability. Pre-adverse and adverse action letters and consumer copies provided at no extra charge to help you stay compliant with current FCRA regulations. Volume pricing is available. Volume customers can be set up to run reports right from their own office for their convenience.
MID MAINE DRUG SCREENING & INVESTIGATIONS Full Service Drug Testing Company & Private Investigator
577-6000 • www.MMDRUGSCREENING.com Potential Golf Scramble Team Names: Fore Play
Bob Sawyer & Ken Gardner Does this shot make my nose look big?
Jim Nutting & fellow classmate Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Savings and loan Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out ’n About with the L-A Harley Band in Rangley where they opened for Travis Tritt in July
The average giraffe has a blood pressure two or three times that of the average human.
What’s Going On In September at the Chick? Super $5.95 Lunch Specials served 10:30-4 (except Sun. & Mon.) Awesome $7.95 & $8.95 After Church Specials (every Sunday) Every Tues. & Wed. is SUB DAY at the Chick - Best Subs Around
Businesses – For sizeable takeout orders we will DELIVER FREE OF CHARGE We also have large or small platters available –call for a fax menu
Hospitals & Doctors Love Our Service & Delivery
3 Great Specials During September
Steve on violin
1. Mariner’s Platter: Scallops, Haddock, Shrimp, Fries & Coleslaw . . $11.95 2. Lobster Sub Shore Dinner: Crusty Lobster Sub, Cup of Haddock Chowder, Fries & Coleslaw . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $14.95 3. Baked Stuffed Jumbo Shrimp Topped w/Lobster Sauce, choice of Potato & Hot Veggie . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $8.95
Disetoen Gotta Love the Chick! AL-ew Chick-of 376-3870
You’re gonna like it! 1472 Lisbon Street, Lewiston Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Random logic
Frank on guitar
Join us! Sign up today!
Steve Grenier on guitar Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Press release Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
50 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
Call now to register for short season and novelty leagues
786-2695 visit sparetimerec.com for details Great golf excuses to use next time you hit a bad shot: "I play better in tennis shoes. These cleats have too much grip"
Out ’n About at the ELHS Class of 1972 40th Reunion
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Mild abrasive
Karen Nichols, Ellen Clark Pratt & friend
Cindy Sloat, Gay Peterson Metevier, Gayle Johnson, Ken Gardner & Patti Levenson
Debbie Philbrook Belanger, Linda Larue, Poppy Thatcher Arford, Gay Peterson Metevier & Martha Powell Burnell
New Homes Sun Rooms Garages
We love each other as much as we did back in high school.
Call us for your FREE quote! “The Difference is in the Details”
Best prices with the highest quality workmanship.
Call 753-9887 or 576-8528
OVER 20 YEARS OF BUILDING EXPERIENCE Fully Insured • Many References Available
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Uninvited guest
Mr. & Mrs. Roger Libby Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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"Farming looks easy when your plow is a pencil and you're a thousand miles from a cornfield." – Dwight D. 'Ike' Eisenhower
Can you guess who they are?
Neat Photography
Pre-book with your favorite stylist & enter to win a FREE gift basket ($135 value)
1
2
4
3
5
9 8 6
7
786-0112 392 Center Street
See answers on this page
What a hotel! The towels were so fluffy I could hardly close my suitcase.
Where’s Waldo Jimbo
Hair by Gregory’s Childhood Photo Answers
If you guess correctly you’ll win a free Digest every month for the rest of your life.* *To be picked up at your favorite place of business or our office. Cannot be combined with any other offer. Limit one per customer.
"I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography." – Steven Wright
1. Kathy 2. Cory 3. Kellyann 4. Linda 5. Terry 6. Nuria 7. Michael 8. Tina 9. Kelly Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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TV Show Cheers Classic
"Music hath charms to soothe a savage beast, but I'd rather have a gun." – Josh Billings
Norm walked into CHEERS and Sam said, "What are you up to, Norm?"
Getting Ready for Hunting Season?
"My ideal weight if I was 11 feet tall." – Submitted by Richard Collins
Frederick Banting, a Canadian doctor, and his assistant Charles Best discovered insulin in 1921. On January 23, 1922, the first successful test on a human patient with diabetes occurred. Insulin was given to Leonard Thompson, and his condition improved dramatically in just a few hours.
Don’t Miss our Fall Sale! We buy, sell & trade
J.T. REID’S GUNS 86 Court St., Auburn 777-3579
Call for N.R. the nex A. P t Cou istol rse
Full Line Gunsmith Service
Jamie Pelletier, Manager
jtreidsgunshop.com
9-5 Mon-Fri • 9-1 Sat
John Reid, Owner
Our Ace MARTY DOW is a well known former banker. He is even more famous for his efforts at Uncle Andy’s Digest. But when he recently made his second hole-in-one in his lifetime he immediately shot up the ranks to Golfing Guru. Marty accomplished this elusive feat on Saturday, August 18th 2012, about 30 years after his first hole in one. The Ace was made on hole #9 at Martindale Country Club in Auburn by the 84 year old golfer. He was immediately showered with gifts by his friends and coworkers. He now has the privilege of giving private lessons to Jimbo and to his grandson, Travis.
Congratulations, Marty! Great job!! Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
54 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
Find Your Favorite Restaurants! Log On to
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Fast idle
Out ’n About at the Mac’s Grill Deck Party Sponsored by Geary’s and live music by The Work Trucks
Life is fantastic!
Hi, my name is: Arthur Auger
I’m sure Uncle Andy’s Digest will keep things ‘G’ rated.
Trivia Q: What do frogs wear on their feet in summer? A: Open toad shoes! Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Government organization
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Chicken Little
Hair Massage Facials Manicures Pedicures Nails Waxing Lash Tinting
Submitted by Richard Collins
One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read... "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused and asked the class "And what do you think the farmer said?"
Back row, l to r: Marcie Buck, Kristen Lampron, Ashley Goulet, Tiffany Parsons & Terri Heathco. Front, l to r: Alicia Parrot, Carla Martin, Christine Laliberte & Shayli Poulin
Spa Packages & Gift Certificates Available
20 Union St., Auburn
782-3848
One little girl raised her hand and said, "Holy crap, a talking chicken."
www.StudioCSalonNSpa.com
We Make Fall SPRQ-Le FALL FITNESS CLASSES beginning Sept. 10th • Zumba • Kettlebell • Tabata • Burlesque • Kickboxing • & more!
Visit SPRQStudio.com for class schedules
STRENGTH, INTEGRITY & ENDURANCE THRU ZUMBA®
754-9411
MUGSHOTS??
OUR TEACHERS
NO! This is the teaching and instrument repair staff, here to teach you how to play & to make sure your instrument is in tip-top shape! Arthur Melendy
Dan Quinlan
Troy Hanscom
Ann Breau
Dick Demers
Rich Keene
Barbara Chapman
Sumner Elwell
SHOP STAFF Steve Grenier Carrol Poulin
376-3376
Paul Moreau
Main St. Music Lessons 134 Main Street, Auburn & Instrument Repair
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
56 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
Todd Corey Authorized
Service Center
www.mainstreetmusiclessons.com
Would the person who lost a fat roll of hundred dollar bills, wrapped in a rubber band, please report to the Lost & Found Department - we found your rubber band.
Blessed are those who expect nothing, for they shall not be disappointed.
Out ’n About at the Mac’s Grill Ya, we do steak, but we also do cheesecake! We’ve got a piece here with YOUR name on it!!
Abigale Drew
Paul Deschene "aka Pauly D" & Kim Stetson Finally making it in Uncle Andy’s Digest! I better prepare for the celebrity life!!
Wife to husband: "This Christmas let's give each other sensible gifts... like ties and fur coats.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out ’n About
"The things you do for yourself are gone when you are gone, but the things you do for others remain as your legacy." – Kalu Kalu
Interest rates are still under par. It’s a great time to buy or refi. Call me today after you’re done golfing.
Debbie Bodwell of Residential Mortgage Services sponsored the front nine at the annual Androscoggin Valley Realtor's Affordable Housing Golf Tournament held at Martindale Country Club recently.
Chrissy & Darcy from Republic Jewelry on the set of Kelly Live!
Pat and Claire from Republic Jewelry Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
58 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
The bottle-nosed whale can dive to a depth of 3,000 feet in two minutes.
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Growing shortage
Just Another Day at the Office The Edward Little HS football coaches paid a visit to Uncle Andy’s Digest office trying to sell an ad in the EL home game booklet. Jimbo tried to weave and dodge but was sacked and fumbled the ball. Dave and Don are obviously pros and Jimbo had no chance. He signaled for a sub and went and wrote the check. Best of luck to the EL football team this year. Uncle Andy’s Digest is proud to support the team. See our ad on the back page of their home game booklets all year.
We showed him huh, Don?
PLANNING A BACKYARD WEDDING?
Like taking candy from a baby...
Ask about our signature models!
CALL FOR PRICING
G.A. DOWNING 782.4508 or 800.924.4500
Dave Sterling & Don Morency Edward Little HS football coaches
Out ’n About
Service Rental Sales
111 Woodman Hill Road, Minot www.gadowning.com
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Required donation
Fran, Carlene and Chrissy of Republic Jewelry I prefer to remain nameless.
Pool Sharks Jose, Chrisy, Ron, Fran, Stacy, Larry & Lindsey
If God intended us to eat seafood, why did He hide them underwater?
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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An elderly lady was having a medical check up. "Big breaths," said the doctor. "They used to be," sighed the woman.
2030 Headlines: Average worker's Social Security (FICA) contribution hits $12,000 per week. Protests planned.
Like Uncle Andy’s Digest on Facebook and enter our contest!
– Submitted by Richard Collins
Barbed Wire In 1867, Lucien Smith of Ohio became the first person to patent barbed wire. With its ability to keep cattle fenced in, barbed wire changed the character of the old west from free range to established ranches. In 1974, the first Universal Product Code bar code was scanned at a Marsh's Supermarket in Troy, Ohio. And what was the product? A pack of Wrigley's Juicy Fruit gum!
an d
Japanese Cuisine
Want YOU to win a
$100 Gift Certificate to Sea 40!
Go to facebook.com/UncleAndysDigest 1) Like Uncle Andy’s Facebook page. 2) Like Sea 40’s Facebook page. 3) Share with your Facebook friends to increase your odds of winning! I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
Brotherhood During prohibition, Al Capone made millions dealing in illegal booze and other illegal activities. His brother, Vincent, was a United States Government prohibition agent in Homer Nebraska. After the repeal of prohibition, Vincent Capone was elected sheriff by the citizens of Homer, Nebraska. – Submitted by Richard Collins Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
60 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
Why should I learn algebra? I have no intention of ever going there.
Elephants often communicate at sound levels as low as 5Hz. This means that if you flap your hands back and forth faster than five times a second, an elephant can actually hear the tone produced.
Cindy
Lynn
Heather
Michelle
Elizabeth Emily & Christine, Co-owners
Renew your look from head to toe with new fall colors & styles cuts, colors & styles
manicures studio for hair, nails & massage
Micaela
20 Coburn Street, Auburn (Off Center St., across from D’Angelos) Open Monday-Saturday pedicures
Kathy
782-9009
www.panacheauburn.com Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Stainless steel cleaner
(l to r): Auburn City Councilor Joshua Shea; Auburn City Councilor Leroy Walker; City of Auburn Economic Development Assistant Keith McBride; Owner Dana Hartwell; City of Auburn Mayor Jonathan LaBonte; City of Lewiston Mayor Robert Macdonald; Androscoggin County Chamber of Commerce President Chip Morrison. (Photo courtesy of the LAEGC)
Musician’s Hub recently celebrated their grand opening with a ribbon cutting. Located at 120 Center Street at the Center Street Plaza in Auburn, Musician's Hub is Maine's premier independent musical instrument store. Offering new, used and vintage instruments as well as tube and solid state amplifiers, PA systems, percussion instruments and accessories, guitar and vocal accessories, lesson books and much more. Musician's Hub also offers setups, repairs and music lessons as well as a local band merchandise showcase at the front of the store. So stop by for your music gears needs, to ask questions - or just to hang out. Because at the Musician's Hub, it's always about more than the gear. It's about the music. For more information visit www.mymusicianshub.com or call (207) 333-6700. See their ad on page 44.
Birds of a feather flock together and aim for your car.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Neat Photography
If genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration then evidentially I keep sharing elevators with a lot of very intelligent people.
ALL MONTH LONG!
New PLOWS have arrived and are ready to go!
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
62 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
Why does the label on Children’s Tylenol tell you not to operate heavy machinery or vehicles?
THEY’RE HERE!!! Who says size doesn’t matter?
80 LB. CAPACITY WASHERS!! LARGEST WASHERS IN L/A
Search: Beal’s Laundromat & Cleaners
Mon.-Fri 7am-9pm Sat. & Sun. 8am-9pm
LAUNDROMAT • CLEANERS • COIN-OP
Frogs never drink. They absorb water from their surroundings by osmosis.
Quilters & Kni tters!
Check out our: • 2000+ bolts of contemporary quilt fabrics • Custom cut jelly rolls, layer cakes & charm packs • Lots of batiks, brights, polka dots & stripes • Huge selection of sock yarn & Maine yarns • Basketry supplies Hours: Mon-Fri 10 to 5; Sat 10 to 4; Tues ‘til 8
BUDGET PLANS AVAILABLE
Are you getting the INTEGRITY, STABILITY, AND SOLUTIONS you need from your oil heat or propane provider? Call us today at 225-3000 for creative energy solutions!
909 Minot Ave., Auburn • 784-4486 Quilt-Essentials.com
NOW LEASING - Healy Terrace
Visit us online:
81 Ash Street, Lewiston
myselco.com
Spacious, contemporary 1 and 2 bedroom units in newly renovated historic building. Elderly 55 plus, non-smoking, Section 8 assisted, elevator, laundry, free parking on site. Fully applianced, heat, hot water, wireless internet included. Accessible units available.
Apply at Lewiston Housing Authority
WOOD & PELLET STOVES
ON SALE NOW
1525 Lisbon Street Lewiston ME, 04240 783-6927 • 1-800-834-5706 Fax: 783-2873 Mon-Fri 7:30-5:30 • Sat. 8-4
1 College Street, Lewiston
207-783-1423 8:00am - 5:00pm, Monday - Friday
HARRIS BROTHERS PO Box 2002 • Norway, Maine 04268
Call us! No Separating Required!
743-3891
FOUR SEASON SERVICE
Downeast Sharpening Sales & Service of Outdoor Power Equipment
HARRIS BROS.
Complete Sharpening Service Glen A. Gisel
SERVING: NORWAY • WEST PARIS MINOT • MCFALLS • OXFORD
DOLMAR
7 Main St. (Junction of Rt. 302 & 121) Raymond
Walk-ins welcome
Try our Chicken... it’s good to go!
$
shindaiwa
655-4635
www.downeastsharpening.com
1 OFF Any Cut Men’s, Women’s & Children’s
10” 1-Topping Large Fresh Dough Pizza Turkey & Cheese Sub $5.99 $4.99 Roadies Chicken Combo #5 4 Tenders & 4 Jo-Jo’s $5.89
(Reg. $10)
That Little Barber Shop 9 Acadia Ave., Lewiston (off Lisbon St.) Cosmetologist Brittany Legare
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
64 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
312-5478 Hours: Tues, Thurs, Fri. 9am-5pm • Wed. & Sat. 8am-noon
Ideas are great provided they don't degenerate into work.
Riley C
Teddy
Since July 3 2012
Since Mar. 27 2011
Summer
Since June 19 2012
65 Washington St., Dog Grooming Auburn, ME 04210 Daycare & Boutique (207) 333-3640 The only fully-staffed, cage-free, one-stop shop doggy daycare facility that offers 6,000 sq. ft. of climate-controlled indoor play area, and 20,000 sq. ft. of outdoor play area for small, medium and large dogs!
Est. 2008
FUN, SAFE & SUPERVISED PLAY ENVIRONMENT
thedoggzinn@gmail.com • www.facebook.com/thedoggzinn
http://thedoggzinn.googlepages.com Boutique includes full line of dog supplies & products Planet Dog • Blue Buffalo • Lupine • Red Dingo • Mason Antlers
Since Nov. 10 2010
Since June 26 2012
Since June 6 2008
Tank & Tonka
Betty
Moxie
OUT ’N ABOUT WITH MIAMI MIKE
Hello my fellow Uncle Andy’s Digesters. Summer has come and gone yet again which means the kids are back in school, the days are growing shorter, and major league baseball games are once again going to mean something. Though I love autumn and the cool crisp air which accompanies this glorious season, my favorite attribute is football: high school football, college football and professional football – heck, even the championship to MLS Futbol. Now I know all of you are losing countless hours of sleep trying to devise a plan for how you will watch every game on television. I’m going to let you in on a little-known secret. Gipper’s Sports Grill in Auburn has all of the football action you need to make it through the fall. Whether you are a Patriots fan or a fan of one of the other teams in the NFL (It’s ok if you are not a Patriots fan, no one is perfect) Gipper’s has the atmosphere you’re looking for to watch the big game. Their excellent food and beverages are just the icing on the cake. If you are not going to be out watching the game because you are at home dealing with mother nature and her ever constant Maine seasonal changes, then you may want to visit Reggie’s on Minot Ave in Auburn for all your fall and winter needs to handle anything the good old weather page is predicting. I recall going out to Reggie’s with my old man to get the chainsaw blades sharpened. I almost wouldn’t recognize all the new Husqvarna chainsaws because Big Lare was still using some old beat up 1970’s model that truly belonged in a museum somewhere in the Yukon. I am, however, happy to report he did buy a new saw from Reggie’s, due to the fact his old beater finally died and could no longer be reincarnated. Well, Uncle Andy’s Digesters I have once again given my personal seal of approval to two excellent local establishments! So 2 thumbs way up for Reggie’s and Bottoms up to Gippers’! Until next month, keep in touch with me via email (uncleandysdigestmiamimike@aol.com) or on twitter (UADMiamiMike)!! Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
66 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Intimate strangers
September 30, 2012
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Death benefits
Things Kids Say in Science Class: Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun, but I never have been able to make out the numbers.
Neat Photography
Sensational smiles are our business! Preventative dentistry - cleanings and fillings Cosmetic dentistry - whitening, bridges, crowns, implants & more We accept most insurances Financing available
New Patients Always Welcome
TAYLOR BROOK DENTAL ASSOCIATES 27 MILLETT DRIVE, AUBURN We accept Northeast Delta Dental, State of Maine & Cigna Insurances
784-1577
TAYLORBROOKDENTAL.COM Before you criticize someone, make sure you've walked a mile in their shoes. That way, you're a mile away AND you have their shoes!
Did You Know? Al Gore and Tommy Lee Jones were roommates for all of their four years at Harvard. They are still fast friends. – Submitted by Richard Collins Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out ’n About at the Cash Mob Event - part deux
I worry we are spending so much time on the Internet we are losing our ability to connect with people on TV.
CANCER BENEFIT for
Cheri Sargent Tim Spohrer
Saturday, Sept. 15th 8pm - midnight Lewiston Elks Lodge 1675 Lisbon Rd., Lewiston
Dube Flower & Gift employee
Join Us! $10/per person $15/per couple Sandi Wood Dube Flower & Gift employee What an amazing event this was. We were totally blown away! We’re proud to have been mobbed!!
to Cheri’s family (left right): Anna, age 7; Cheri, Trevor, age 9; husband Dean, Nicki, age 12; Gabbi, age 14.
LIVE RAFFLES
Skip & Debbie Girouard
Red Sox Items Ski Passes Golf Greens Fees White Water Rafting Tickets Free Massage & much, much more
Cheri Sargent of Turner, married to her high school sweetheart and mother of 4, was diagnosed earlier this year with stage 4 colon cancer.
Music by Not For Hire Band FireWater Creek
L.L. Bean Kayak Package will be auctioned of f during the benefit
Dube Flower & Gift owners Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
68 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
Potential Golf Scramble Team Names: The close enoughs
The L/A Cash Mob struck the Twin Cities again, this time supporting Dube’s Flower Shop in downtown Lewiston A locally owned and operated business since 1936, Dube’s Flower Shop, located at 195 Lisbon Street Lisbon Street, saw the support of over 30 cash mobbers last month. “I think the news is out,” said co-event organizer Travis Dow. “When you support local, the money stays in the community. Money that stays in the community gets circulated, supports neighboring businesses, and acts as a clear economic benefit to the area.” Designed to provide an economic boost to a local business, cash mobs consist of shoppers patronizing the business with cash in hand. Primarily organized through social media, the secret of the location isn’t revealed until just minutes before the event. “This is one of the easiest ways to energize the local economy,” added co-event organizer Angie Lafrance. “Supporting a community anchor and mainstay with the power of our wallet is influential, especially if it’s been awhile since the consumer has been inside the store.” Prior to the event, participants were notified to meet downtown and have $20 ready to support a business within walking distance. Once assembled, the collective group marched to Dube’s Flower Shop where just moments before the business had been revealed to laughter and applause from the crowd. The event wasn’t a total surprise to owners Skip & Debbie Girouard, who had been contacted the week before by organizers and notified to be ready for a large crowd. “I’ll have to check my records, but I don’t think we’ve ever had a day where a bunch of people walked in waiving twenty dollar bills demanding to buy everything off the shelves,” said Debbie Girouard. “As a small business, this type of support and energy is certainly welcomed.” Although no dates have been set for the next mob, Dow and Lafrance said plans are already in the works for another event in the Twin Cities. FMI about the L/A Cash Mob or to become a sponsor, contact Angie Lafrance or Travis Dow at Uncle Andy’s Digest at (207) 783-7039, or visit the L/A Cash Mob on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/LACashMob.
Ask me about my vow of silence.
Be Fashion Forward this Fall Come see any one of our expert stylists!
We are a full service salon...
• Colors • Cuts • Foils • Pedicures
Ann Dumais
Kelly Giambra
Sue Poulin
Kim Galgovitch
Lysa Ronan
Valerie Kelshaw
• Manicures Get Your Hair Done Before Work! We’re open at 6:00am 4 days a week!! Hours: Tues. Wed. & Thu. 6am - 8pm Fri. 6am - 3pm • Sat. 8am - 1pm
• Waxing • Eyelash Tinting
786-4311
Find Your Favorite Restaurants! Log On to
Lisa Olmstead Pauline Guimond
14 Highland Spring Plaza, Suite A Highland Spring Road, Lewiston Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out ’n About at the Cash Mob Event - part deux
When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me and I said, "What do you need?
I always get a rise from Red Sox fans when I wear my favorite hat!*
Skip Girouard Dube Flower & Gift owner *Jimbo asked Skip if he was bowing in gratitude for the great turn out from the Cash Mob that just took place at his business or was he bowing the Yankees out of playoff contention. Either way, we think Skip and the gang at Dube’s are great. We had a blast mobbing them!
Up, Up & Away In 1982, Larry Wadsworth made the first airborne flight in a lawn chair (lifted by a dozen plus balloons). He got as high as 16,000 feet before he began shooting down a few balloons with his BB pistol so he could descend. He landed safely.
1 mile south of Oxford Plains Speedway
596 Main Street, Oxford
207-539-8811 www.maine-lyaction.com
Kids, don't try this at home! Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
70 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Negative momentum
Lampron joins Studio C Salon & Spa
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Well known secret
indham •
Located
orth W . 115 in N
0
892-822
on Rt
As soon as I get some grip on reality, I'm going to choke it.
“Feels Like Home!” Our 2012 Donations to date: $
Over 7,000
Sunday at 6:00PM • Monday thru Friday at 6:30PM $
10 up to 48 cards - Games pay $50 - $100
Fridays: 1/2 of all packages goes to W.T.A.
Pleasant Street Bingo Hall 475 Pleasant St., Lewiston • 777-1394 www.LYAFBingo.com I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those smart phones that everyone has clipped on, but I can't afford one so... I'm wearing my garage door opener.
Kristen Lampron Licensed Cosmetologist
Kristen Lampron has joined Studio C Salon & Spa, located at 20 Union Street in Auburn. Lampron, formerly of Cassiel's Day Spa, has three year experience in Hair, Makeup, Facial Waxing, pedicures & manicures. A graduate of Cosmotech in Westbrook, Kristen looks forward to continuing to provide her clients with the great service and results they expect. She is also welcoming any new clients to call for an appointment. She is available Wednesday through Saturday. To make an appointment with Kristen call Studio C Salon & Spa at 782-3848.
Star Trek Trivia Why did the chicken cross the road? To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. – James T. Kirk Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.
“Beginning Traditions”
It’s a Cats World
Tired of renting? Outgrowing your home? Ready for a change? From Biddeford to Bangor... we can show you any listing you desire! Give us a call to sell your home and to view any property in Maine.
Brian & Tracie Vye 207.713.1618
Legacy Realty 681 Sabattus St, Lewiston 207.376.4830 Email: Brian-Tracie@Legacy-Realty.net
At the Helm
Stop in and say hello. We’d love to see you!
Dave Gagne, Gerry Gagne & Mike Peters The new owners of Mac’s Grill in Auburn
Let us do what we do BEST So you can do what you do BEST Call us today for a no obligation consultation to see if we can help you do business better!
RCC Business Services, Inc. Financial & Advisory Services for Small Businesses 143 First Flight Drive, Auburn • 795-0663 www.RCCmaine.com
Why I otta... Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
72 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
QuickBooks Consulting QuickBooks Hosting Bookkeeping MaineCare Billing Accounts Receivable Management Financial Reporting
Proadvisors, for confidence Certified Staff, for training Hosting, for virtual support
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her out to some place expensive . . . so I took her to a gas station.
I want my children to have all the things I never could afford - then I want to move in with them.
Power your whole house • Keep medical equipment running • Keep food cold & your home warm • Keep well pumps & sump pumps working •
And Much More! FULL INSTALLATION AVAILABLE! CALL FOR MORE INFO ELECTRICAL SYSTEMS OF MAINE ELECTRICAL CONTRACTORS
1200 Minot Ave., Auburn • 783-7126
ElectricalSystemsOfMaine.com
Belize is the only country in the world with a jaguar preserve.
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Second best
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Poulin joins Studio C Salon & Spa
ANDROSCOGGIN TITLE COMPANY 95 MAIN STREET • AUBURN, MAINE 04210 Title Insurance • Title Searches • Real Estate Closings
Bart Kelsea, President (207) 784-6413
Shayli Poulin Cosmetologist
Shayli Poulin has joined Studio C Salon & Spa, located at 20 Union Street in Auburn. Poulin, formerly of Sarah Jeanne's, offers Hair Services, with a specialization in color, as well as offering nail services, manicures, Pedicures & Facial Waxing. Shayli looks forward to seeing all of her current clients and is also welcoming new clients as well, she is available Tuesday through Friday. To make an appointment with Shayli call Studio C Salon & Spa at 782-3848.
BE SECURE!
LOCAL!
SHREDDING SERVICES Confidential Information Destruction Services provided by SecureRMS in Sanford, Maine! All proceeds staying in Maine to support adults and children with disabilities at Waban Projects. Get rid of all your confidential information at your home or business for a low price and for a great cause! Please contact Greg Dumais, VP of Sales at gdumais@securerms.com for more information on our shredding services and how you can receive this very important service while helping those in need in our own state!
Old Invoices, Statements, Confidential Information, Stationery, etc. In 1967, Fleetwood Mac appeared at the British National Blues and Jazz Festival in Windsor, England. That appearance was their first time on stage. Trivia buffs: Due to numerous line-up changes, the only original member present in the band is its drummer, Mick Fleetwood. Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Global village
A Social Enterprise of Waban Providing opportunities for people with disabilities for over 40 years
Boat Shrink Wrapping Indoor & Outdoor Storage • Winterization
$
9
Call Now!!
65 North River Rd., Auburn Open 7 days a week: M-S 8-7; S 9-4
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
74 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
www.auburnmarineandsmallengine.com
784-3888
/ft.
When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.
FREE WHITENING FOR LIFE! Contact us to find out how.
This baby is so much more responsive since you installed that Hemi. You da man, Pépère!
Pierre Cadorette of Pierre’s Autobody with his grandson, Jacob
Neat Photography
I want instant gratification no matter how long it takes.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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NEXT Level Business Coaching We Will Make Your Business Better in 90 Days – Guaranteed!
Call 207-376-3239 for a free, confidential 90-minute coaching session on any two business issues you are facing.
Come experience business coaching at NO RISK.
What makes airport security think they can find something in my wife's purse when she can't?
AUTO CORE PLUS Highest price paid... period
Out ’n About at the ELHS Class of 1972 40th Reunion We heard there was a celebrity in our class. At least that is what he told us. More like a legend in his own mind!*
Lowest overhead in the industry! That means more
Candy Gleason, Linda Larue & Poppy Thatcher *See page 79, bottom pic
CA$H for you! CALL US AND WE’LL COME PICK UP YOUR: Junk Cars • Trucks • Vans SUVs • Batteries Aluminum Rims • Catalytic Converters Radiators • Starters • Alternators Copper • Brass
Paula Cowles Mikkelson
Ron Childs Owner
Call
Gotcha!
240-8798 Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Boneless ribs
Christine Redmun Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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9
September 29th, 2012 Saturday, 12 - 3 pm Lewiston High School
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Books on tape
Stop by our new location!!
Out ’n About at the ELHS Class of 1972 40th Reunion
1220 Lisbon Street LEWISTON Mon-Fri 8am-5pm 24 HOUR ON CALL
784-5085
Fortier Security Center
Dan LeClair & Pam Rowe LeClair
Residential • Commercial • Sales • Locks & Keys • Access Control
Sweet Pea Designs Wedding Planner & Flower Shoppe 777-1520 or 577-2130
Gail Charpentier & Friend
Free Delivery in L/A
sweetpeafloraldesignsme.com Sherry Poole Giberti (r) and Friend
563 Painters Primer • The Original Painters Primer • Adheres to glossy surfaces • High hiding formula • Use it inside or out
Yeah... I still got it, just ask me.
r i a 516 Sabattus Street • Lewiston • 784-1993 • M-F 7am-5pm, Sat. 7:30am-1pm
www.lewistonpaint.com Allowance is what you pay your kids to live with you.
Uncle Andy Marsh & Jim Chervenak These guys share the same birthday. Brothers from different mothers.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Time "Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein." – H. Jackson Brown Jr.
Alaska In 1791, Danish navigator Vitus Jonassen Bering, one of the world's most famous explorers, discovered the land of Alaska. The Bering Strait, the Bering Sea, Bering Island, Bering Glacier and the Bering Land Bridge have since all been (posthumously) named in honor of the explorer.
Debates The first of the seven famous debates between Abraham Lincoln and Stephen Douglas, both senatorial candidates from Illinois, took place on August 21, 1858. Trivia buffs: The format for each debate was: one candidate spoke for 60 minutes, then the other candidate spoke for 90 minutes, and then the first candidate was allowed a 30-minute "rejoinder." The candidates alternated speaking first. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
80 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
We're looking for interested folks who would like to join 'Time Travelers for a Better Yesterday' last week.
THE KIDS ARE BACK IN SCHOOL, NOW IT’S TIME TO GET BACK TO YOU! Fabulous Fall Packages ❧ Herbal Body Wraps ❧ Pumpkin Sugar Scrub ❧ After Sun Treatment ❧ Autumn Package ❧ Harvest Package Book your appointment & buy gift cards right on our website!
24/7 available Gift Cards om! .c ls ie ss at ca
We are a full service salon ❧ Hair ❧ Body Waxing ❧ Facials ❧ Pedicures ❧ Spa Packages ❧ Massage ❧ Electrology ❧ Manicures ❧ Bridal Packages ❧ Permanent Make-up
We sell a full line of Bare Escentuals Mineral Makeup www.cassiels.com 71 EAST AVENUE • LEWISTON
(207) 783-3321 Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Preliminary conclusion
Specials
It’s a Cats World
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Constructive criticism
Trenchless Sewer and Drain Rehabilitation Call today to have a Clear Drains of Maine technician perform a site evaluation and provide you with a detailed estimate for rehabilitating your failing sewer or drain line with our
PERMA-LATERAL
TM
TRENCHLESS PIPELINING SYSTEM
NO DIG TRENCHLESS TECHNOLOGY! Visit us online:
ClearDrainsofMaine.com
Seals broken areas in Cast Iron, PVC, Orangeburg, Clay Pipes & More!
521 Federal Road, Livermore • 207.320.2177 All I want is a warm bed, a kind word, and unlimited power.
For All General Home Repairs & Improvements
HOME IMPROVEMENT SERVICES Quality work • Fair prices • Great service
r Call us today fo a FREE quote!
• Carpentry • Roofing • Plumbing • Flooring • Painting • Plowing & much more!
784-8922 I used to watch golf on TV but my doctor told me that I need more exercise, so now I watch tennis.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out ’n About at the ELHS Class of 1972 40th Reunion
Find Your Favorite Restaurants! Log On to
Trisha Hancock Bellenoit with her husband
Gail Charpentier & Jackie Labay I don’t know how I do it either...
Mike Farrell & Doris Auger
Handy Hardware 9 Depot Square, Mechanic Falls Paula Berge Fortin & Dan Fortin Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
82 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
Hours: M-F 7am-5pm; Sat/ 8am-5pm; Sun 9am-1pm
345-2091
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Bigger half
An iguana can stay under water for twenty-eight minutes. (Uncle Andy timed it himself)
Amazing Photography
Above the canopy
Come join Varney Agency, formerly known as Northeast Bank Insurance Group, for an afternoon of fun!
Saturday, Sept 15th, 2012 11am - 2pm • • • •
Hamburgers Hot dogs Face painting Glitter tattoos
• • • •
Cotton candy Popcorn Balloon animals Games & more!!
Receive important tips from
of Greater Portland, regarding steps to take following a loss. Have your picture taken while
Colliding rivers in Geneva, Switzerland
Out ‘n About by
Enter for your chance to win a 32" FLAT SCREEN TV!
Uncle Andy’s Digest Balloon Twisting with
The stunning green vine snake
Allow Varney Agency to save you money on your current insurance. The first 50 people who bring in their current Declaration Page the week or day of the open house will be entered into a drawing for a 32" Flat Screen TV and will receive a $10 gift certificate to Heidi’s Brooklyn Deli Contact Kerrie Robbins with any questions at (207) 786-0417 or by email: krobbins@varneyagency.com
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Wholesome
Moon bridge in Dahu Park, Taipei Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Out ’n About at the ELHS Class of 1972 40th Reunion
A woman's work is never done. So why bother?
ATTENTION WE ARE GOING TO BE
MOVING
I hear Uncle Andy’s Digest is looking for a new photographer.
NOT CLOSING
Jeff Taber
As of September 1, 2012 we will be relocating to our final home.
300 Cressey Road • Monmouth, ME To Winthrop/ Manchester
Pat Gagnon Pelletier & husband Highmoor Farm
Leo’s Reggie’s Wow! I can’t believe how old you look Uncle Andy.
Springbrook Golf Course
To Lewiston/ Auburn
Steve Jordan
For All Your Custom Upholstery Needs
Leo Beaudin
Jame Stevens with his wife Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
84 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
CUSTOM UPHOLSTERY
782-3822 • cell: 713-5491 A watched clock never boils.
28 Riverside Drive, Auburn
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Primitive technology
The SIGNS are everywhere
ARE YOU LOOKING TO BUY A NEW HOME? OR REFINANCE AN EXISTING HOME? Come see what we can do for you! Call for a mortgage appointment or apply online.
Main Office for Rainbow 381-391 Main St. Lewiston 207-784-5435 Fax: 207-795-6238
Mechanic Falls Branch 1 Lewiston Street, McFalls 207-346-3001 Fax: 207-346-3012
South Paris Branch 172 Pine Street, So. Paris 207-743-5410 Fax: 207-743-9331
Auburn Office 20 Washington St., Auburn 207-783-0351 Fax: 207-786-0523
Member Eligibility is required. This Credit Union is federally insured by the National Credit Union Administration.
Elephants have been found swimming miles from shore in the Indian Ocean.
Your Concept...
...Our Design
10’x12’ Oak Kitchen with countertop $1,99999 10’x12’ Birch Kitchen with countertop $2,09999 1766 Federal Rd. (Rt. 4) Livermore
897-3400 or 1822 Lisbon Rd., Lewiston
784-3100
www.KitchenSolutionsMaine.com Two things hard on the heart: running up stairs and running down people.
Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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The Genius Duck Hunters
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Modern history
Submitted by Richard Collins
A guy buys a new Lincoln Navigator for $57,000 with monthly payments of $560. He and a friend go duck hunting in mid-winter, and of course, all of the lakes are frozen. These two guys drive out on a lake with their guns, a dog, and the new Navigator. They decide they want to make a natural looking water area for the ducks, something for the decoys to float on. Now making a hole in the ice is going to take a little more power than the average ice auger can produce. So out of the back of the new Navigator comes a stick of dynamite with a short 40 second fuse. Now our two rocket scientists, afraid they might slip on the ice while trying to run away after lighting the fuse, decide on the following course of action: they light the 40 second fuse, then, with a mighty heave, they throw the stick of dynamite as far away as possible. Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the dog? Let’s talk about the dog. A highly trained black lab used for retrieving, especially things thrown by the owner. You guessed it. The dog takes off across the ice at a high rate of speed and grabs
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Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Only choice
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I use my cookbook often -- to throw at people who suggest I cook.
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the stick of dynamite with the burning 40 second fuse just as it hits the ice. The two men swallow, blink, start waving their arms, and with veins in their necks swelling to resemble stalks or rhubarb, scream and holler at the dog to stop. The dog, apparently being cheered on by his master, keeps coming. One hunter panics, grabs the shotgun and shoots over the dog. The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused then continues on. Another shot over the dog, and this time he becomes really confused and, of course terrified, thinks these two geniuses have gone insane. The dog takes off to find cover, under the brand new Navigator. The men continue to scream as they run. The hot exhaust pipe on the Navigator touches the dog’s rear end, he yelps, drops the dynamite, and takes off after his master. Then___Ka-BOOM!! The Navigator is blown to bits and slowly sinks to the bottom of the lake. The men just stand there with a ‘can’t believe this just happened,’ looks on their faces. The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is not covered by the policy. He still had not made the first payment. The dog is OK. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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You Might be a Wingnut if...
Silly Things Actually said by Commentators in the World of Soccer: And so they have not been able to improve on their 100% record.
Submitted by Glen Gisel
Out ’n About at the annual Gippers Golf Tourney Tom & the Gipper Girls
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A key ring is a gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once.
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Out ’n About at the Androscoggin Bass Masters Tournament in Turner with Community Credit Union who sponsored the food booth which benefited the Children’s Miracle Network
L to R: Michelle & Rodney Green,
Jen Hogan, Laurie Pelletier, Andrew Lunn, Michelle St. Hilaire, Shelby & Kerry Wood, Janice Lare & Betsy Sibley There's a sign above the scale in my doctor's office that says, "Pretend it's your IQ.
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You Might be a Wingnut if...
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Half dead
Submitted by Glen Gisel
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I thought about taking up snowboarding, but then I figured, why not just ram myself into a tree and save that long trip to the mountains.
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You Might be a Wingnut if... Submitted by Glen Gisel
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Big baby
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Unable to stand it any longer, a fellow sunbather interrupted her. "Tell me, how old are your grandsons?" The grandmother gave a grateful smile and replied, "The doctor is four and the lawyer is six..." On a chilly winter evening, my husband and I were snuggled together on the floor watching television. During a commercial break, he reached over and gave my foot a gentle squeeze. "Mmmmm," I said. "That's so sweet." "Actually," he admitted sheepishly, "I thought that was the remote." In 1967, Pink Floyd released its debut album The Piper at the Gates of Dawn, the first of many incredible albums. In 2012, The Piper at the Gates of Dawn was voted 347th on Rolling Stone magazine's list of the "500 Greatest Albums of All Time." Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
94 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
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You Might be a Wingnut if... Submitted by Glen Gisel
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Quiz There are about 50 million American children enrolled in elementary school and high school. They are taught by a little over 6 million teachers, who earn an average salary of about $42,000 a year. If each child brings an apple to the teacher once a week, by how much would the average teacher’s after-tax income be decreased as a result of gift taxes on the fruit? Major Edward White II opened the hatch of the Gemini 4 and stepped out of the capsule, 120 miles above the earth, becoming the first American astronaut to walk in space. White had been preceded by Soviet cosmonaut Aleksei Leonov, who on March 18, 1965, was the first man ever to walk in space. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withravis &T Jimbo
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Baseball 101 Submitted by Jimbo
This is a game played by two teams, one out the other in. The one that's in, sends players out one at a time, to see if they can get in before they get out. If they get out before they get in, they come in, but it doesn't count. If they get in before they get out it does count. When the ones out get three outs from the ones in before they get in without being out, the team that's out comes in and the team in goes out to get those going in out before they get in without being out.
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When both teams have been in and out nine times the game is over. The team with the most in without being out before coming in wins unless the ones in are equal. In which case, the last ones in go out to get the ones in out before they get in without being out. The game will end when each team has the same number of ins out but one team has more in without being out before coming in. Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
96 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
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Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Sweet tart
Jail Time Submitted by Jimbo
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An 80 year old woman was arrested for shoplifting. When she went before the judge he asked her, "What did you steal?" she replied, "A can of peaches." The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was hungry. The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied, "Six." The judge then said, "I will give you 6 days in jail." Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something. He said, "What is it?" The husband said "She also stole a can of peas."
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The sun's warming rays travel through 93 million miles of space to reach Earth. Moving at the speed of light, they make the trip in just eight minutes. A jet airliner would need more than 18 years to complete the same journey.
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98 SEPTEMBER 2012 783-7039
Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Undocumented report
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My brother wants me to find him a summer job. He asked me to check with my boss, my friends, my business associates. Then he asked me to run off 100 copies of his resume, call up the employment agencies, and write an ad for the Positions Wanted section of the newspaper. I asked him what he wanted to call himself in the ad. He said, "A self-starter!"
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Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Realistic fantasy
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Career Day Submitted by Jimbo
It's career day at school and the teacher instructs his students each to stand up, state their parents occupation, spell it and then tell what their parent would do if they were here today. Little Rodney stands up and says, "My father is an accountant, A-C-C-O-U-N-T-A-N-T, and if he were here today, he would help you balance your checkbook". "Good Rodney." says the teacher, "How about you, Johnny?'" Johnny stands up and says, "My father is an electrician, E-L-E-K-T, no, no, E-L-E-C-K-T no ....L-E-C-K- no.... The teacher interrupts, "never mind Johnny, sit down, how about you Vinnie?" Vinnie stands up and says, "My dad's a bookie, that's B-O-O-KI-E, and if he were here today he'd give you ten to one odds that there's no way Johnny's ever gonna spell electrician!" Uncle Andy’s Digest ...witThravis & Jimbo
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Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Friendly takeover
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Pamela is our nine year old adopted sister. She is a sassy, adorable, monster of a little girl who we cannot help but love to death. Being the youngest by eight years, she often times copies us older siblings in surprising and usually hilarious ways. Sometimes we like to take credit for those traits (she gets her brains from me, of course) and other times we’d rather blame them on other people (her occasional bratty attitude must have come from another sister, but definitely not me). While we aren’t sure where she got her clumsiness from, it never fails to entertain. Once while walking towards the entrance of K-Mart with my parents, she noticed them heading towards a manual door and, deciding to be independent, she headed towards what looked like a large mechanical door. “Hey guys!” she shouted, “Why are you using those silly doors? These ones open all on their own…” BOOM! Pamela smacked right into what was actually a giant glass window, not a manual door at all. She plops down onto her butt, bewildered for a moment, and then bursts into laughter (she’s usually a good sport). Like any good family, we of course won’t let her live it down. Now whenever we go into a store with manual doors we point towards a window and say, “Hey, Pam, aren’t you going to use that automatic one over there?” Needless to say, she has some issues with automatic doors now. But just wait till we catch her accidentally pushing a door that you are supposed to pull!
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Uncle Andy (is an) Oxymoron: Extra ordinary
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