KRISTINA LEIS • CANADA
Colours of the Soul Self What is the first idea that comes to mind when you are asked to picture a colour? For some it is a rainbow, or the sky on a clear day with crisp and clear blueness. For me, it is the memory my mom reminds me of when I first put on my glasses at five years old. She tells me I said “Look at all the beautiful colours” and I know that from the moment I could see all the colours, I became obsessed and inspired by the idea of colours. From collecting coloured pens, to playing with beads, to creating fashion sketches, colours existed in every part of my life. Especially though, in my eyes. As I grew up, I realized the power of colour in organization. I took this with me, colour coding and highlighting my notes in a systematic way. When I started to write and become inspired by the possibility of creating my own website, each month reminded me of a certain colour. From that colour, a theme emerged. This created The Rainbow Project which helped to organize my ideas into themes and colours on my blog. From there I began to study Reiki and understand more of the Chakra system and energy centres of the body. I noticed that each colour I selected for the month and the correlating topics were related to the meanings of each Chakra Colour. In the month of November, I chose the colour red. Brought about by Remembrance Day and the poppy, my theme was Heroism. This theme and this colour define how you are your own hero and what that means to you, which also resembles the meaning of the Root Chakra as the basis of your core Identity. As time moved forward, and the collective entered into the crisis of 2020, I chose the colour purple and the theme of Blossoming in May. These themes are not actually complex, what becomes complex is the ideas that I wrote about. Identity means many things to many different people. For me, identity means something different. For a long time, I struggled with defining who I am. I would look to others for meaning and validation. I grew up in a family where my older sibling struggled with clinical depression and as a result
138 • United Colours of Design Magazine
found myself struggling as a teen and young adult. After multiple diagnoses, including Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Dysthymia and Borderline Personality Disorder, I started to gain some clarity about who I was, and who I wanted to become. Mentors started to show up in my life. I started volunteering with the Alumni Association at University of Toronto’s education school where I graduated in 2017. At first, I was embarrassed about being back at this school. When I was studying, I was at the pit of my mental health and I was not able to connect to the community in a healthy way. It was not until I made a friend who inspired me at my core, and asked me about my future goals that I set out to follow my dreams. Writing this reminds me of how the need for external validation creates the story about this person in my life and in my head. In the span of two years, I wrote 110 blog posts, I created a bracelet business, increased my Instagram following, and won an Arbor Award for volunteer work. I’ve crushed every fear I had within the identity of my past self. I also became a Reiki Master with my mom and started to practice daily running. I’ve changed my life in so many ways. The message I want to send to those who read this, is that you are responsible for creating your identity. Not your past, not your future, but in this moment, you get to decide who you are. Are you holding onto validation from others, are you seeking answers outside of yourself? Or are you creating your life by living from a place of inspiration? Every boyfriend I’ve ever had has never said they loved me. This used to hurt me, and make me scream. How? Why? But now, I say, I love me, and that’s all that matters. I went from being a grumpy caterpillar to embracing myself as a Kind Butterfly. That is why my bracelet brand is called Kind Butterfly Designs. As this name reminds me every day that being a butterfly and showing up as my true authentic and soulful self is a choice. It was not easy to get here. Every bracelet reminds me that I can be myself. Each bracelet is designed to be unique, tell a story and allow the customer to live as their Kind Butterfly self and to find the colours of their soul.
