Preparing for All of Life’s Changes
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South Orange’s Wildly Floral Offers a Unique Floral Experience
Wildly Floral in South Orange, owned by Josi Stone of Maplewood, is not your average flower shop. Here, the highlight is the Stem Bar, which sets this shop apart. Customers can channel their inner florist by either bringing a vase or purchasing one to create bespoke arrangements stem by stem. It’s an opportunity to create a masterpiece, unleashing creativity in a fun and relaxing environment.
The shop also hosts monthly “Wildly Social” events, where attendees can mingle, sip on wine, enjoy snacks, and create. These events provide a fun night and offer a chance to support local artists via pop-up shops. There is no social planned for April, instead, there will be Camp Wildly, a weekend away full of hands-on workshop experiences.
Monthly workshops and private flower arranging classes and parties are also offered. Led by Josi, attendees learn the art of floral arrangement, allowing them to create personalized bouquets. The next workshop is on April 25. For more information and event dates, go to: wildlyfloral.co
Summit High Scores Big with New Girls Flag Football Team
Callie Shroff, a junior at Summit HS, has scored a touchdown with her initiative to start a flag football team. Inspired by her love for football and a sports management leadership program, Callie’s passion rallied 38 girls to join the team, making it a roaring success. Under the direction of varsity boys’ coach Frank Harpster and support from Eli Hodges of the NY Jets, the team is tackling its inaugural season headon. Despite being a new sport in NJ, flag football is gaining traction with
over 100 teams statewide. Callie helped set-up a 501c3 to lead the team’s fundraising efforts, including merch sales and community support, securing over $20K for uniforms, buses, coaches, and referees. To ensure a pipeline of players for the future, Callie is also supporting development of a younger rec team. Summit Girls Flag Football is a testament to Callie’s dedication and leadership, proving when it comes to taking action and breaking barriers, she’s a true MVP.
Reeves-Reed Arboretum Marks 50-Year Milestone Anniversary
Reeves-Reed Arboretum is marking its 50th Anniversary with a year-long celebration of events, programs, and initiatives highlighting its rich history.
Established in 1974, the Arboretum in Summit will host a variety of special events, including guided nature walks, botanical workshops, live music performances, and art exhibitions. Seasonal festivals such as Daffodil Day (April 14), Celebrate Fall (October 20), and the Festival of Trees (December 8) will be featured, along with an Anniversary Summit Garden Tour and Tea (May 30), Sounds of a Summer Night Concert Series, the annual fundraising gala ART in the Garden (June 8), and the Notable Garden Speaker Series. A special Historical Exhibit in the fall of 2024 will showcase archival photographs, documents, and anecdotes from the past 50 years. Commemorative merchandise is also available for purchase. reeves-reedarboretum.org
Beyond Boundaries:
A Tale Both “Edited” and “Unedited”
by a Literary Maverick
Barry Lyga, a YA author from the South Orange/Maplewood area, has crafted a diverse literary career, spanning from his English degree at Yale University to his 27 published books over 17 years. His works include literary coming-of-age novels, serial killer thrillers, and superhero stories inspired by characters from Marvel and more.
His latest release, a unique duo of books titled “Edited” and “Unedited,” showcases his innovative approach to storytelling. “Unedited” remains untouched by editors, presenting a long, complex narrative, while “Edited” offers a shorter, streamlined version. His decision to publish both versions stemmed from a desire to push boundaries and create a truly unique reading experience.
Barry describes these books as “boy meets girl, boy loses girl due to something stupid that he’s done. Boy goes to the ends of the universe and challenges God himself to get the girl back.” This intriguing premise reflects the complexity and depth of his storytelling, blending elements of romance, adventure, and existential questioning. Barry’s books are available wherever books are sold.
Dance the Night Away at All My Friends Monthly Parties
Kelly McKesten of Maplewood and her party-loving crew — Elizabeth Olson, Erica Dagley Galea, Jon McKesten, and Preston Olson — have transformed their love for dancing and hosting into the ultimate monthly dance party, “All My Friends.” Stemming from years of hosting parties, charity events, karaoke nights, backyard bashes, DJing weddings, and coordinating retreats, these events now take center stage at Porta in Montclair. The inclusive atmosphere beckons millennials and Gen Xers to dance to pop, indie and hip-hop hits, creating dance circles and nurturing new friendships.
Capturing candid moments, photographer Lisa Whiteman replaces traditional photo booths, ensuring memories last long after the music stops. With 200-250 attendees, it’s more than just dancing—late-night pizza and drinks keep the party alive.
Don’t miss the next All My Friends dance party on April 13th at Porta, featuring DJs Dirty Preston and Clean Erica. Snag advance tickets at allmyfriendssoma.com.
If you or someone you know in Essex/Morris County is doing something interesting, send an email to Jackie.subessex@gmail.com
All My Friends founders, from left: Erica Dagley Galea, Elizabeth Olson, Preston Olson, Jon McKesten, Kelly McKestenRENE PAPARIAN: Environmental Advocate Leading Change in New Jersey
BY JACKIE SCHATELLRRene Paparian of Millburn is renowned for her unwavering commitment to environmental advocacy and sustainable living. Through her dedication to promoting practices like composting and recycling, Rene exemplifies how individual actions can collectively make a significant impact on our environment.
With over a decade of experience driving positive change, Rene’s journey from co-chair of the Green Team to chair of the Environmental Commission showcases her passion for creating a greener, more sustainable community. Her background as a lawyer provides her with a unique perspective to navigate environmental regulations and advocate for environmentally friendly policies.
Rene’s focus on native plants and biodiversity conservation underscores her dedication to educating others about the importance of preserving our natural world. By collaborating with neighboring municipalities and utilizing various platforms, Rene spreads awareness about sustainable living practices and inspires action.
Composting, a natural process that transforms organic waste into nutrient-rich soil, is one of the many eco-friendly practices championed by Rene. By promoting composting and sustainable living choices, Rene encourages individuals to reduce waste, conserve resources, and contribute to a healthier planet.
Rene Paparian’s remarkable journey as an environmental advocate serves as a beacon of inspiration for her community and beyond. Her tireless efforts and belief that every individual can make a difference highlight the power of collective action in creating a more sustainable future.
FOOD BANK NEWS: Empowering Communities and Transforming Lives
BY JACKIE SCHATELLCChris Costanzo of Maplewood has always had a knack for storytelling. After spending decades as a trade magazine and newspaper editor, reporter, and freelance writer, she decided to turn her talents towards a cause close to her heart: fighting hunger. Chris began volunteering at Meeting Essential Needs with Dignity (MEND) Hunger Relief Network, where she realized the power of sharing information and best practices among food pantries worldwide. This realization led her to launch Food Bank News in 2019, which now boasts over 7,000 subscribers and is making a real difference in the industry.
Food Bank News is not just another news source; it is the first and only publication to acknowledge the critical role that food banks and related agencies play in the wellness and livelihood of millions of people living in the US. Chris understands that food banks need to operate at a high level to solve overarching issues related to hunger while still tending to the basic, daily needs of millions. She believes that hunger can and should be eliminated, and that better flow of information, ideas, and best practices between members of the hungerrelief community will help reach that goal.
The publication covers a wide range of topics, including trends in hunger, best practices, advocacy, college hunger, equity, farms, food rescue, and more. By providing a platform for conversation and information exchange, Food Bank News aims to generate more effective and lasting solutions to hunger.
A key aspect of Food Bank News is its focus on community building. Chris believes there are millions of stories out there, and that Food Bank News is a way for people all over the country to learn together and solve hunger. She finds the work incredibly satisfying, as it allows her to use her particular skill set to write about a subject meaningful to her and make a real difference in the world.
Food banks have become not just storehouses for food, but also resource centers for all things related to hunger. They educate, advocate, and sponsor anti-hunger legislation, while also providing job training, health care, nutrition education, legal services, tax help, and much more. Food banks today are at a crossroads, as they reconcile the ongoing need to serve a hungry populace against the growing recognition that the root causes of hunger, including poverty and inequality, also need to be addressed.
Through Food Bank News, Chris is challenging food banks to think big and be innovative in addressing hunger. By promoting conversation and information exchange about best practices in the charitable food banking system via an independent, national news source, Food Bank News aims to generate more effective and lasting solutions to hunger. Chris’s passion project is not just a publication; it is a movement towards a hunger-free future.
Food Stroll & Pub Crawl
BBrace yourselves, food enthusiasts, as South Orange Downtown (SODT) proudly presents the return of the Food Stroll & Pub Crawl, set to captivate your taste buds. This family-friendly event showcases the district’s diverse culinary landscape and unique retail offerings.
Strollers can enjoy delectable bites from over a dozen local eateries and take advantage of enticing discounts from retailers. Event participants will navigate with ease using a specially crafted map, which will guide them to a selection of standout establishments, including Ariyoshi, BGR, Cereal Dreams, Chipoba, The Fox & Falcon by David Burke, The Dancing Blender, Juice Hub, Jus’ Tacos, Miti Miti, Pandang, Papillon 25, The South Orange Wheelhouse, Tito’s Burritos & Wings, Village Hall Tavern & Beer Garden and Walia Ethiopian Restaurant.
A wristband also gives participants access to pub crawl specials from The Fox & Falcon by David Burke, Papillon 25 and Village Hall. Shop small with special offers from The Botanica Boutique, CLAY by Indigo Road Studio, Grá, Kitchen a la Mode and Sadie’s. Additionally, attendees can enjoy playtime
LOCAL BUZZ
at Little Brain Lab or purchase discounted tickets to experience an outstanding performance at the South Orange Performing Arts Center (SOPAC).
Limited tickets are available. For a complete list of offers from these participating businesses and to purchase wristbands, visit www.southorangedowntown.org/food-stroll-pub-crawl.
Sunday, April 21, 1-5pm (rain or shine)
Downtown South Orange
Summit College Club Book Sale
OOne of the country’s oldest book sales, the Summit College Club Book Sale has been held for over fifty years. In a typical year, more than fifty thousand books helpfully arranged in dozens of categories are offered for sale. All the profits from the sale are used to fund college scholarships for deserving local high school students. Since the sale’s inception, the Summit College Club has awarded nearly a million dollars in scholarships.
The Summit College Club Book Sale welcomes donations of books, CDs, DVDs, and LPs in good condition but does not accept encyclopedias, magazines, manuals, VHS tapes and textbooks. Donations can be dropped off at the American Legion Post 433, New Providence on April 12, 1-7pm, Saturday, April 13, Sunday, April 14, and Monday, April 15 9am-7pm.
SALE DAYS:
Wednesday, April 17, 9am-2pm ($25 admission charge); Thursday, April 18-Friday, April 19, 9am-8pm (free entry); Saturday, April 20, 9am-7pm (free entry); Sunday, April 21, 10am-4pm (fill a grocery bag for $5-$10)
American Legion Post 433 357 Elkwood Avenue, New Providence | summitcollegeclub.org
Livingston Symphony Orchestra: “Atmospheres”
TThis live concert program includes works by Debussy, Mahler, Turina, and an up-and-coming young NJ composer. Each selected piece is a delight for the senses. Some are exciting, some are subtle, and some are sublime; all of them are sonic amazements!
Positions for musicians in the string and percussion sections are currently available.
Tuesday, April 17, 7:30pm
Livingston High School
30 Robert Harp Terrace, Livingston 973-980-1809 / www.lsonj.org
LOCAL BUZZ
Friends of the Summit Library to Host Massive Jewelry Sale
JJoin the Friends of the Summit Library for a spectacular “Giant Donated Jewelry Sale,” featuring an exquisite selection of designer looks, brand-name pieces, and a variety of jewelry for both men and women. The sale will include 18k, 14k, and 10k gold jewelry, precious stones, sterling silver, watches, earrings, necklaces, bracelets, rings, and much more.
With prices starting at just $1 and many items priced under $5, this is an opportunity you won’t want to miss! Cash and credit cards will be accepted. All proceeds from the sale will benefit the Summit Library, so come shop for a cause and find your next favorite piece of jewelry!
Saturday, April 27—10am - 4pm; Sunday, April 28—1-4pm Summit Library
75 Maple St, Summit www.summitlibraray.libcal.com
Choose from many styles of fire pit dining & chat groups AND individual gas or woodburning fire pits… Pelican’s can’t-be-beat prices make it easy to turn your backyard into a personal paradise… day or night, all year long! CUSTOM
FFor Earth Month, The NJ Women Playwrights Program present two one-act plays looking at how protecting the environment comes down to more than environmental policy.
• The Polar Bear by Maryanne Melloan Woods. In Southern Alaska, a Polar Bear has wandered far from its natural habitat and traps itself in the garage of Kayla and Dewey. Kayla is desperate to free the bear, but her husband is more interested in preparing his online audition for a dystopian movie scheduled to film in the state.
• The Iceberg Effect by Michele Kushner. In the midst of the COVID lockdown, frustrated with her environmental scientist mother’s loss of the will to take action, thirteen-year-old Ellie has conjured up the forgotten figure of Eunice Foote, the first scientist to identify in 1856 the greenhouse gas theory. Ellie learns that the same entrenched forces that blocked Eunice’s contribution to the field are plaguing her mother 165 years later, only the stakes are even higher.
The evening includes a post-reading conversation with the authors. Directed by John Pietrowski. Recommended donation: $10.
Sunday, April 14, 7pm
Madison Community Arts Center
Rose Hall
10 Kings Road, Madison
Tickets: https://madisonarts.ticketleap.com/njwpp-1-04-12-24/
GET GROOVY AT FLOWER POWER SUNDAY!
RReeves Reed Arboretum is turning back the clock to the 1970s to celebrate both their 50th anniversary and the beauty of daffodils. Don’t miss this beautiful day filled with spring-themed fun and nostalgia.
Take a stroll through the Arboretum’s Daffodil Bowl, home to over 50,000 blooming daffodil bulbs. Enjoy games, crafts, story trails, and music that will transport you back in time, as well as food and market vendors. The Green Goats will also be making an appearance, adding to the festive atmosphere. Plus, you can support the Arboretum’s daffodil collection by donating $25, which will plant 10 daffodil bulbs.
Whether you rock vintage threads, tie-dye tees, or bell-bottom jeans, come dressed in your best ‘70s attire.
Note about parking: The Arboretum parking lot is closed during the event, but on-street parking is available. Please follow parking signs and allow extra time for parking and walking. Consider walking or biking to enjoy Summit’s beauty. Bikers can use Hobart Road or Beacon/Ridge Road from Fernwood Road to avoid busy Hobart Avenue. Bike racks will be available at the Arboretum.
April 14, 11 am - 3 pm (Staggered entry times: 11:00 am, 12:00 pm and 1:00 pm. Be sure to sign up for the time slot you prefer, as changing will be based on availability.)
Reeves-Reed Arboretum 165 Hobart Ave, Summit 908-273-8787 / https://bit.ly/DaffodilDay2024
Imagine outdoor living spaces so comfortable and inviting that you will never want to go inside. Contact Lighthouse now to start planning how outdoor lighting can transform the way you use your outdoor living spaces.
RUN FOR A GOOD CAUSE!
TThe Mount St. Dominic Academy Meghan Doyle ‘05K celebrating the life of Meghan Doyle, a 2005 graduate of MSDA – is returning for its 10th year! Meghan’s dream was to become more involved with her alma mater and to run a 5K. This race honors her memory and supports families who want to offer their daughters a MSDA education. Since 2015, this event has raised over $250,000 for a financial aid program in Meghan Doyle’s memory. Sign up to enjoy a day of running, fun, and community spirit, all in support of a great cause.
There are three ways to participate:
• Live ‘05K: Participate in the live oncampus ‘05K race. Cash awards will be given to the top female and male runners, and awards will be presented to the top three runners in each age group.
• Fun Run: Kids ages 10 and under are invited to participate in the Fun Run,
LOCAL BUZZ
starting at 9 am. There’s no registration fee for this race, so sign them up on the Registration page and let them join in the fun!
• Virtual ‘05K: Can’t make it to the live race? Run the Virtual MSDA Meghan Doyle ‘05K anytime between May 4 and May 10, in the location of your choice. All virtual participants will receive a bib number and are encouraged to share their photos on social media using #MSDA05K.
You’re
EEmbark on an epic dino-mite adventure with your little explorers at Dinosaur World Live – the ultimate interactive show for the whole family! Prepare to be amazed as you step into a world filled with astonishingly life-like dinosaurs.
Come face-to-face with the fearsome Tyrannosaurus Rex, marvel at the majestic Triceratops, and discover other incredible creatures like the Giraffatitan, Microraptor, and Segnosaurus.
Saturday, May 4
Fun Run, 9am, ‘05K run, 9:30 am Mount St. Dominic Academy 3 Ryerson Ave., Caldwell http://RunSignUp.com/MSDA05K
Don’t miss this chance to experience the dangers and delights of the prehistoric world in a thrilling, educational, and unforgettable live show!
Saturday, April 27—1pm and 5 pm (sensory friendly at this time)
Mayo Performing Arts Center - MPAC
100 South Street, Morristown
973-539-8008 / bit.ly/DinosaurWorldAtMPAC
“The best mattress store we’ve ever been in.”
1/4 Get Outside and Celebrate Trails Day!
TThis month, Chatham Township is celebrating Trails Day, an annual spring celebration of America’s trails, with a Historic Riverside Trail Ribbon Cutting. There will be family fun activities, food trucks, invasive plant strike information, mosquito dunk education, and more. Started by Rails to Trails Conservancy in 2013, the celebration encourages people all across the country to get outside and enjoy the nation’s exceptional trails and trail systems.
Date: April 27 / Time: 9 am - 1 pm
Address: Henderson Road, Chatham
Details: jpiccolo@chathamborough.org
https://bit.ly/4bWDTnp
Twins from $598 | Fulls from $798
Queens from $998 | Kings from $1,298
April Events at the METC
Maker’s Day Makerspace
Saturday, April 6 —11am-3pm
Get ready for a day of creativity and innovation at Makerspace! Kids ages 5-12 will love building with Legos, experimenting with coding, engineering, robots and 3D printers, as well as painting, and making jewelry. No registration is required, but children must be accompanied by guardians.
National Poetry Month and Earth Day Celebration
Wednesday, April 10—78:30pm
This inspiring evening of poetry and gardening will be inspirational and fun! Guests will listen to inspired reading of rich, contemporary gardening poems that celebrate our desire to tend the nonhuman world around us from “Leaning Toward Light: Poems for Gardens & the Hands That Tend Them,” by Tess Taylor and Ann E. Wallace, co-hosts of The WildStory Podcast. They will also learn practical tips from native plant expert Dr. Randi Eckel in a live Q&A session. A book signing and copies of “Leaning Toward Light” will be available for sale through The Nature of Reading Bookshop.
Art in Bloom Children’s Craft
Saturday, April 20—11am-12:30pm
Fairy Art Mother Extraordinaire and BAR artist Artist Shari Seltzer will work with kids in grade 1 and above to create a handheld artist book using mixed media to celebrate spring. Collage, rubber stamped images, vintage ephemera, and repurposed materials will be provided.
Museum of Early Trades & Crafts (METC) - Education Annex
23 Main Street, Madison | 973-377-2982 www.metc.org/events
THE ETHICAL MATTRESS COMPANY CELEBRATES ITS FIRST ANNIVERSARY
TThe Ethical Mattress Company, a specialty sleep store located on Millburn Avenue featuring mattresses, pillows and bedding made from certified organic and natural materials, celebrated its first year in business recently. According to Bryan Umiker, the owner and former VP for Bloomingdale’s and Casper, the retailer delivered over 500 mattresses in their first year.
“We’re thrilled with how our neighbors have embraced us.” Umiker says.
“Our core values of natural, toxin-free mattresses, all made locally here in New Jersey, combined with affordable low prices and great service has really resonated in the area. Our deliveries have ranged from Millburn to Montclair, from Hoboken out to Morristown, and even down the shore.”
The Ethical Mattress has also built a thriving online business. “Our ecommerce business is growing fast,” says Umiker. “We’ve shipped mattresses to 47 states, from Maine to Hawaii.”
Aside from their selection of affordable, all-natural and locally made bedding, Umiker says what really sets the Ethical Mattress Company apart from other mattress stores is their personalized service. “Your mattress is the most important piece of furniture in your home. We’ve simplified the decision for our customers by providing a narrow selection of well-made, toxin-free beds, with honest and transparent pricing. Combined with our expertise and commitment to service, it makes for a great experience for our customers.”
Umiker adds, “We go the extra mile, and it shows up in our 5-star reviews. Out of everything our team has accomplished in our first year, I’m most proud of the customer reviews.”
SUMMER CAMP TIPS
From the Camps Directors Themselves!
Whether you’re brainstorming a script, stepping into character, or working behind the camera, remember: your ideas matter!Collaborate with fellow campers, share your visions, and watch creativity soar to new heights. Together, you’ll turn dreams into cinematic realities and forge lifelong friendships along the way!
—Montclair Film Summer Academy
MontclairFilm.org/Education
Art-making is a great way to boost selfconfidence and improve social and emotional wellbeing in children. Summer Art Camp at the Visual Arts Center of New Jersey provides parents with the opportunity to offer these benefits to their children, in a fun, relaxed, creative atmosphere!.
Brian Riley VACNJ Summer Art Camp artcenternj.org | 908-273-9121
Often, children and young people follow along with adult choices and plans; it’s the society we all live in. When we can make it happen, kids need to have some say in their own schedules and how they spend their time. At camp, we build three periods a day where campers can decide what to do themselves. The camper chooses in the morning, with two activity periods after lunch. Choices like this allow kids to try new things, learn what they do and don’t like, make mistakes, and feel accomplished, too, especially when things go to plan!
Learning to make choices and weigh up the options is a life skill that kids need as they develop into adults. Choices at camp give kids space to learn this skill in a safe environment with low stakes! The worst scenario is that archery is full that day, and they’ll have to wait until tomorrow to get to the range. And in the meantime, there’s the garden, mid ropes, or candle making to try instead!
—Keith VanDerzee, Executive Director, YMCA Camp Mason
908-362-8217 | campmason.org
Here are some tips for choosing a summer theater camp/program:
• Look for small classes and high teacher to student ratio.
• Students should be grouped by age as well as ability. An 8 yr. old and a 14 yr. old have different learning curves and social needs and behaviors!
• The program should be individualized to the needs of each child and the teachers should be aware of each child’s needs and goals for the summer.
• Beware of programs that promise too much or profess to put on a different full musical every 1 or 2 weeks. Even Broadway performers need more time than that to put together a musical!
• Make sure that every student is being taught by seasoned professionals who know how to teach as well as perform. To develop a strong foundation, it’s very important to have all students – especially beginners - taught by experienced teachers.
• To maximize the benefits of summer camp, a program should be a balance between musical theater classes and performance opportunities.
• Every student should be given an opportunity to “shine” in the performance so that they each have a chance to try out the skills they have learned and enjoy the thrill of being on stage!
• Programs should also include fun classes and other group activities that are aimed at ensuring that a strong dose of fun and team spirit be injected into the program. It is a summer camp after all!
—Randy Elman, Artistic Director, Musical Theatre Conservatory 973-868-6259
MusicalTheatreConservatory.com
Make a Financial Plan Today for a Sound Financial Future
PREPARING FOR ALL OF LIFE’S CHANGES
ABY SUE BALDANIAs people move through different stages of life, their needs and wants will change. Plans may be in place to accomplish these goals, but life can throw us curveballs that we never expect. This is why partnering with a financial expert before these major events take place is recommended. At the very least, when these shakeups do occur, find someone who will be in your corner to help guide you.
Here, John Egan, Managing Director, and Partner at Hightower Egan Wealth Advisors, explains how he and his team can assist. John was named to Forbes’ 2023 Best-in-State Wealth Advisors list, and Hightower was ranked number two on Barron’s 2023 list of Top 100 RIA (registered investment advisor) firms.
How does Hightower Egan Wealth Advisors prepare clients for major “life events” such as divorce, retirement, or a death in the family?
Clients are very busy today. They have careers and families, and planning for every life event can be overwhelming. So, we talk to them about a strategy of planning.
We break it down into manageable pieces. We believe in getting their estate planning done first, as the foundation. We then figure out the two or three things that they need to do over the next three or four months, and we get those done. They’re going to feel better and then later we can regroup and figure out what to do next.
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PATRICK J. MCCAHILL, JR., CFP®
Patrick joined Egan Wealth Advisors in 2016. “I knew John [Egan] and how he operated as an individual, professionally, and as a businessperson. I wanted to be mentored by John, working with individuals, and building personal relationships as a financial planner.”
Building trust with clients, he says, is critical to the financial planning process. “One way I do that is by being a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™. As a CFP® and a fiduciary, I am on the same side as our clients to achieve their goals.”
When not working, Patrick enjoys spending time with his wife, Kaley, and their three children, Grace, PJ, and Elizabeth, ages 5, 2, and 1. “We love family activities and being involved in our community of Chatham.”
Sarah returned to Hightower Egan Wealth Advisors last July after moving back to the area, and she couldn’t be happier. “Our team has great interactions, and we care about each other personally and professionally. The company has our backs, and we have our clients’ backs.”
They care about more than just how their clients’ accounts are doing. “We educate them, we go with them to buy cars or to the social security office. For some, this is the first time they must do these things after losing a loved one.”
When not helping clients in any way she can, Sarah enjoys being outside with her husband, Griffin, and their 5-year-old Australian Shepherd, Murphy, who, she says laughing, controls life outside of work.
SARAH A. MELZER, CFP®MAKE A FINANCIAL PLAN TODAY FOR A SOUND FINANCIAL FUTURE
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What makes your firm stand out?
We’re a fiduciary firm and our advisors are all Certified Financial Planners, so we’re obligated to do what’s best for our clients and we don’t use commission-based products. We’ve been in the neighborhood for 40 years, and today we have three financial planners, two men and one women of different ages.
Patrick McCahill, Jr., Sarah Melzer and I work as a team. We have very deep, meaningful relationships with the families that we serve.
What do you enjoy most about assisting people with their financial planning needs?
What I love about this business is that it’s different for every client. There are different sets of needs and strategies. When you’re dealing with people, it’s never just about money; it’s always about something else.
In the end, we find ourselves managing their money, doing financial and estate planning, and helping with taxes, but we do so much more than that.
I had a client the other day who retired from a job at a big corporation. Today, these corporations give retirees their 401(k)s, retirement packages, and pensions all at once. It’s now my client’s job and our job to make sure this money lasts as long as they live. That’s the key.
When planning, it’s important to take inflation into account – everything’s more expensive now – housing, cars, healthcare, and food. And, whatever the plan, it always needs to be monitored and updated as time goes on.
Let John and his team help secure your financial future.
GARAGE DOORS for Curb Appeal
WWhen it comes to increasing the curb appeal of your home and getting a high return on investment (ROI), installing a new garage door is often overlooked but can make a significant difference. A new garage door not only enhances the aesthetics of your home but also provides several practical benefits that can add value to your property.
First impressions matter, and the garage door is often one of the first things people notice about a house. An old, worn-out garage door can detract from the overall appearance of your home, giving it a dated and neglected look. On the other hand, a new, modern garage door can instantly boost your home’s curb appeal, making it more attractive to potential buyers.
In terms of ROI, a new garage door ranks high among home improvement projects. According to the 2020 Cost vs. Value Report by Remodeling magazine, the national average ROI for a garage door replacement is around 94.5%. This means that you can expect to recoup nearly all of the cost of the new garage door when you sell your home.
One reason for the high ROI of a new garage door is its relatively low cost compared to other home upgrades. While kitchen and bathroom renovations can cost tens of thousands of dollars, a new garage door typically costs much less, making it a cost-effective way to enhance your home’s exterior.
Additionally, a new garage door can improve the energy efficiency and security of your home. Many modern garage doors are insulated, which can help regulate the temperature in your garage and reduce energy costs. They also come with advanced security features, such as rolling code technology, which makes it harder for thieves to break in.
When choosing a new garage door, consider the style and material that will best complement your home’s architecture. Popular options include steel, wood, and composite options, each offering its own unique benefits in terms of durability, maintenance, and aesthetics.
Home Maintenance Plans Are Crucial
AAir conditioning is an essential aspect of modern living, and it’s essential to keep the system running efficiently and safely. That’s where Air Group comes in with its Home Maintenance Plan. Established in 1965, Air Group has been providing unbeatable service to New Jersey residents for over five decades.
Air Group’s Home Maintenance Plan offers priority attention to its members, ensuring that they receive the best possible service. Members also receive discounts on other home services such as plumbing and generator systems, allowing them to save money while maintaining their comfort. Additionally, members can enjoy “front-of-the-line” service, which ensures that they are among the first to receive help in an emergency, even on the hottest days of the year.
Air Group’s technicians are trained in-house at Comfort Institute to be the
best in the field. They have the expertise to address every job accurately and effectively, delivering comfort and value to their customers. The friendly customer service representatives are always available to dispatch vans and trucks on time, and they will even text the customer when they are on the way.
Air Group offers many other home protection maintenance plans for cooling, heating, plumbing, and generator systems. Their experience and knowledge work towards one goal: ensuring peace of mind during any season or situation. From licensed plumbers to skilled electricians, they have the expertise to address every job accurately and effectively and deliver comfort and value to their customers. The team at Air Group is committed to ensuring the safety and comfort of their customers, and their Home Maintenance Plan is an excellent way to achieve that goal.
EASY LIVING: A Dream Kitchen
BY CHRISTINE S. MAXWELL The bar within the kitchen allows for easy entertaining. A larder cabinet stores everyday appliances.RRobinwood Kitchens, a premier design, sales, and installation company, has helped numerous clients realize their dream kitchens over the past 45 years.
The pictures below showcase a recent kitchen renovation for a growing family with two children and a baby on the way. They capture the kitchen’s openness, light, and utility. This lovely, remodeled kitchen combined the talents of several people: Robinwood Kitchens’ Rebecca Mahoney; Karen Khalaf, architect; Eric Larsen, contractor; Something Special Interiors; and the homeowner. Robinwood Kitchens provided the design, the cabinetry, and its installation. The entire project took approximately four months to complete.
Robinwood Kitchens
560 Springfield Avenue, Berkeley Heights 908 665 5900 www.robinwoodkitchens.com
The renovation incorporates a mix of finishes and elements in accordance with the house’s age. Another view of the open shelving.GET YOUR YARD READY FOR SPRING
AAs the weather begins to warm and days get longer, it’s important to begin preparing your yard for a healthy growing season. While factors like climate, soil type and grass type can all impact how your yard grows, there are a few steps you can take during the spring months to help your lawn thrive.
From dethatching and aerating to fertilizing and mowing, tackling these simple chores can help ensure your yard looks its best and is prepared to fight off seasonal weeds, disease, and drought.
TUNE YOUR MOWER. Before it’s time for the first mowing of the season, inspect your mower and perform any routine maintenance necessary. That goes beyond sharpening, or replacing, the blade, and includes changing the oil, spark plugs and filter as well as filling with a fresh tank of gas.
LOOSEN THE THATCH LAYER. While it’s important to avoid working on your lawn until after the final freeze to avoid damaging the grass, raking your yard with a spring tine rake to loosen thatch – the layer of leaves, roots and dead grass that builds up between live grass and soil – before the first mow is equally important. Be sure to rake when the soil is dry; if it’s too soft or muddy, you may pull up healthy grass crowns.
COMBAT COMPACTED SOIL. If your soil has become compacted – likely the effect of heavy foot traffic – and is too dense for water, air, and other nutrients to reach the roots of your grass, aerating can help break it up and reduce thatch. A core, or plug, aerator can introduce tiny holes into your soil by removing plugs of grass and soil, which lets nutrients more easily reach the roots.
FILL IN BARE SPOTS. If your lawn is looking sparse, overseeding, which involves spreading grass seed over your existing lawn, can help fill in bare spots. Be sure to choose the right type of seed for your climate and soil type to ensure proper growth. Applying a slow-release nitrogen fertilizer at the same time can provide additional nutrients that are important for promoting healthy growth.
START SEASONAL MOWING. When the ground is dry enough and your grass is long enough to require cutting, begin seasonal mowing. Be sure to use proper techniques, including varying your mowing direction each time to avoid creating patterns or ruts, and avoid cutting grass too low, which can make the lawn more susceptible to weeds and drought stress. In general, never remove more than one-third of the grass blade at a time.
Find more tips to help get your yard ready for warm weather at eLivingtoday.com.
Home Pros RESOURCE DIRECTORY
Audio/Video
AVision Design is a Custom Audio Video Company specializing in the Design & Installation of Turn-key Technology Systems for the Residential & Commercial Markets. Our main goal is to provide innovative and best-in-class technology solutions that are simple to use by efficiently managing and executing each phase of every project, regardless of size or scope.
AVision DESIGN
973.574.3050 | www.AVisionDesign.com
Interior Design
Established in 1993, McNeilly & Associates has provided interior design services to a wide range of clients. Nancy McNeilly, ASID brings brings practical communication skills, a solid understanding of the design process, and exceptional outcomes to her clients.
McNeilly & Associates
973-610-4802
mcneillyassoc@msn.com
Outdoor Lighting
Their lighting experts know exactly how to produce lighting designs that have that custom tailored look homeowners desire for their home and property. Lighthouse is the leader in developing and implementing new and innovative technologies in automation and lighting control. Their fixtures and equipment are designed and manufactured by them to exceed the quality and standards of other lighting companies.
Lighthouse Outdoor Lighting
973-241-3008
www.lighthouse-lights.com/nj
Home Entertainment
Pelican Shops has what you need and want in hot tubs, above ground swimming pools & pool supplies, patio furniture, BBQ grills, watersport equipment including stand up paddle boards & kayaks, or gaming room items such a pool tables, ping pong tables & foosball tables. Pelican is the east coast’s premier supplier of ski & snowboard equipment and winter clothing & outerwear.
Pelican Shops
2980 Route 10, Morris Plains 973-267-0964 | www.pelicanshops.com
Kitchen & Bath Remodeling
Robinwood Kitchens has been family owned and operated since 1976. Their services include kitchen and bath design, cabinetry and countertop sales, installation, and project management. They also specialize in cabinet refacing in wood using high quality products and experienced installers. Robinwood Kitchens will work within your budget to create the most aesthetically pleasing living space possible.
Robinwood Kitchens
560 Springfield Ave, Berkeley Heights 908-665-5900
www.RobinwoodKitchens.com
Painter
“Professional,” “courteous,” and “exceptional” is how customers consistently describe Wilber’s Painting. Their highly trained staff of professionals knows what it takes to bring their client’s imagination to reality.
Wilber’s Painting & Home Improvements
973-762-6333 | www.WilbersPainting.com
Since 1965, Air Group technicians and installers have provided innovative, cuttingedge home comfort solutions, including heating, cooling, plumbing and electrical to more than 75,000 NJ residential and commercial customers. Air Group’s service is unparalleled and their commitment to customer service has made them the leading HVAC contractor in the area.
Air Group LLC
800-545-1020 | www.airgroupllc.com
Landscaping
Interior Design
For almost 50 years, CWI Design has been transforming interior spaces of all shapes and sizes. From start to finish, you can trust them to manage the entire process— from concept and design detailing to material selection and implementation.
CWI Design
560 Central Ave, New Providence, NJ 07974 908-665-7997
www.creativewallcoverings.com
Mattress & Bedding
CLC Landscape Design is an award-winning landscape architecture and landscape construction firm. For over 40 years CLC Landscape Design has been the preeminent design/build landscape firm. With a vast knowledge of landscape design concepts and material options, they tailor each of our landscapes to meet the unique style of each of our clients.
CLC Landscape Design
58 Ringwood Ave, Ringwood 973-839-6026 | www.clcdesign.com
Waste Removal
Champion Waste Removal is a fullservice property maintenance company
specializing in residential and commercial cleanouts. Their services include cleanouts, container and trailer rental, demolition, REO services and recycling. No job is too big or too small.
Champion Waste Removal
973-744-6766
www.championwasteremoval.com
The Ethical Mattress Co. sells exceptionally well-made mattresses for a better night’s sleep, and all of them are naturally and sustainably sourced for a better world. Changing the world, one mattress at a time.
The Ethical Mattress Co.
387 Millburn Ave, Millburn | 973-250-6104 ethicalmattress.com
Windows Treatments
Family owned and operated since 1982, Window Works is the area’s premier retailer for custom window treatments and awnings. Expert design, professional installation and reliable courteous service for both residential and commercial projects. Call for a free consultation today!
Window Works
38 East Northfield Rd, Livingston 973-535-5860
www.windowworks-nj.com
Walk Your Way to BETTER HEALTH
A walk is not just good for your body, it’s also good for your soul. Physical activity, like walking, is one of the best ways to reduce stress and boost your mood. However, reports show walking rates are declining steadily in the United States.
On average, 1 out of every 4 U.S. adults sits for longer than eight hours each day, per research from the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention, which can have negative consequences on physical and mental health. Regular exercise improves mood, boosts energy and can even help you sleep better. Staying active is one of the best ways to keep your mind and body healthy.
Getting the recommended amount of physical activity (at least 150 minutes of moderate, 75 minutes of vigorous or a
combination of those activities per week) is linked to lower risk of diseases, stronger bones and muscles, improved mental health and cognitive function and lower risk of depression, according to the U.S Department of Health and Human Services.
Outdoor exercise is an easy way to get moving and take in the sunlight, which can improve mood, boost immunity and help you get some vitamin D. Spending time outdoors is a no-cost option and has been shown to reduce stress, promote a sense of belonging and improve mood.
Physical activity keeps your mind sharp now and later. Studies show higher fitness levels are linked to better attention, learning, working memory and problem solving. What’s more, a study published
in the “British Journal of Sports Medicine” shows people who get the recommended amount of physical activity are less likely to develop depression.
Healthy life expectancy can be positively impacted by increasing activity
. According to research published in the “American Journal of Epidemiology,” swapping just 30 minutes of sitting with low-intensity physical activity reduced risk of death by 17%.
Learn more at heart.org/movemore.
—Family Features
A FIRST FOR STRAIGHTER TEETH
Early detection and treatment prevents future problems
BY SUE BALDANI AND SACKS ORTHODONTICSNNearly a quarter of children in the U.S. will need braces, but is there a way to make treatment easier? Invisalign First aims to make your child’s orthodontic care faster and better with Invisalign First and the new Invisalign Palate Expander.
Few know Invisalign better than Dr. Eric Sacks of Sacks Orthodontics in Livingston. Dr. Sacks is a Diamond Plus Invisalign Provider and one of the Top 11 Invisalign providers in the nation. He knows not every child will be comfortable with braces, and recommends Invisalign First as a great alternative.
“People might be surprised to learn two things about Invisalign,” Dr Sacks said. “The first is that Invisalign offers a product for small children called Invisalign First, which includes the launch of the highly anticipated Invisalign Palate Expander.
“The second is how well younger kids do in terms of being responsible and compliant with wearing their aligners and participating in their treatment,” he said. “This younger age group is often highly motivated and responsible. In my experience, they’ve done amazingly well with the Invisalign First treatment modality.”
The American Association of Orthodontists recommends children consult with an orthodontist by age 7. Early detection of dental issues allows orthodontists to make small corrections now before they become big problems later.
You can help your child with Invisalign First by encouraging them to wear their aligners as prescribed and teaching them how to care for their customized Invisalign First clear aligners.
Sacks Orthodontics
41 N. Livingston Ave. Livingston, NJ
(973) 251-2265 / SacksOrtho.com
You have no family history of colon cancer. You still need a colon cancer screening.
March is National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month.
Along with eating healthy and regular exercise, your best bet for good colon health is to get a colon cancer screening. Individuals at average risk for colorectal cancer should begin screening at age 45. Individuals at higher risk should speak to their doctor about getting screened sooner. Regular screening can detect and prevent colorectal cancer in its earliest stages, which is when the cancer is most treatable. Should your screening indicate the need for treatment, we offer the latest options, from complex surgical procedures and radiation therapy to clinical trials and precision medicine. The best screening is the one that gets completed, so schedule yours now at rwjbh.org/colonscreening
Nutrient-rich Foods Result in Healthier and Stronger Nails
IIf you’re looking to improve the appearance and health of your nails, there are a variety of nutrient-rich foods that can help. By including these foods in your diet, you can nourish your nails from the inside out and promote stronger, healthier growth.
Eggs are an excellent source of protein, which is essential for healthy nail growth. They also contain biotin, a B vitamin that strengthens nails and prevents breakage. In addition to their protein content, eggs are also rich in sulfur, which can help to strengthen the nail bed and support healthy nail growth.
Almonds are a great source of vitamin E, a powerful antioxidant that can repair damaged nails and prevent them from becoming brittle. Vitamin E can also help to improve blood flow to the nail bed, which can promote healthy nail
growth. Almonds also contain protein, magnesium, and healthy fats, all of which can support healthy nails.
Spinach is packed with vitamins and minerals that are essential for nail health. It’s particularly rich in iron, which is important for healthy nail growth and can prevent nails from becoming weak and brittle. Spinach also contains vitamin C, which can help to boost collagen production and strengthen nails.
Salmon is an excellent source of omega-3 fatty acids, which can help to moisturize nails and prevent them from becoming dry and brittle. Omega-3s can also help to reduce inflammation in the nail bed, which can promote healthy growth. Salmon also contains vitamin D, which is important for nail strength and can help to prevent breakage.
Sweet potatoes are rich in beta-carotene, a powerful antioxidant that can promote healthy cell growth and repair damaged nails. They’re also a good source of vitamins C and E, which can strengthen nails and improve their appearance. Sweet potatoes also contain potassium and copper, which can support healthy nail growth.
By incorporating these nutrient-dense foods into your diet, you can help to promote healthy nail growth and prevent common nail problems.
It is recommend that you call in advance as reservations may be required.
BERKELEY HEIGHTS
Nagoya Sushi & Tiki Lounge
538 Springfield Ave, Berkeley Heights 908-898-1188 | www.nagoyasushiandbar.com
Japanese restaurant featuring a wide selection of sushi, rolls, and other Japanese favorites.
Proud Thai Cookery
645 Springfield Ave, Berkeley Heights 908-665-0055 | www.proudthainj.com
Authentic Thai cuisine
Strega Bistro
430 Springfield Ave, Berkeley Heights 908-665-5905
Modern Italian farm-to-table bistro featuring seasonal organic menu with Mediterranean influenced-specials.
Trap Rock Restaurant & Brewery
279 Springfield Ave, Berkeley Heights
908-665-1755 | www.traprockrestaurant.net
A microbrewery offering seasonal craft brews & a delicate menu that accentuates a southern flare.
Nagoya Sushi & Tiki Lounge
538 Springfield Ave, Berkeley Heights 908-898-1188 | www.nagoyasushiandbar.com
Japanese restaurant featuring a wide selection of sushi, rolls, and other Japanese favorites.
CHATHAM
Charley’s Aunt Restaurant
8-10 S Passaic Ave, Chatham | 973-635-6772
www.charleysauntchatham.com
Traditional American cuisine.
Gregorio’s Mediterranean Restaurant
255A Main Street, Chatham | 973-635-2777
www.restaurantgregorios.com
Italian Mediterranean cuisine bursting with flavor.
Mitsuba Japanese Cuisine
237 Main St, Chatham | 973-635-3888
www.MitsubaChatham.com
Traditional Japanese specialties and cuisine
Scalini Fedeli
63 Main Street, Chatham | 973-701-9200
www.scalinifedeli.com
French-influenced Italian fixed-price menus in an elegant, vaulted interior with Tuscan touches.
Restaurant Serenade
6 Roosevelt Avenue, Chatham, NJ 07928 973-701-0303 | www.restaurantserenade.com
Artful dining, as conceived by award-winning Chef James Laird. A showcase of the finest hand-selected seasonal and regional ingredients in simple, refined presentations by Chef Laird.
GILLETTE
Ancona Bistro
645 Valley Road, Gillette | 908-647-5755 Northern Italian entrees and pastas.
Casa Maya
615 Meyersville Road, Gillette 908-580-0799
Family-friendly BYOB serving Sonoran-stule Mexican cuisine.
Vintage Tavern
342 Valley Rd, Gillette | 908-580-1100 www.VintageTavern.com
New American tavern with pub-grub standards, including burgers, thin-crust pizzas and more. Your go-to spot for sports, live entertainment, trivia, bingo, private parties & much more!
LIVINGSTON
Assado Portuguese Steakhouse
222 N Livingston Avenue, Livingston 973-422-0501 | www.assadonj.com
Their rustic yet modern decor provides the perfect setting for a Portuguese steakhouse experience. Assado is a BYOB welcoming our patrons to pair their desired wine with our traditional dishes. They also offer online ordering so you can enjoy our food from anywhere.
Boccone
471 W Mt Pleasant Ave, Livingston, 973-378-9222 | www.bocconeristorante.com
Southern Mediterranean Italian Cuisine
Lithos Estiatorio
405 Eisenhower Parkway, Livingston 973-758-1111 | lithosgreek.com
Greek Cuisine
Mezza Mediterranean
277 Eisenhower Pkwy, Livingston 973-992-9300 | www.mezzalivingston.com
At Mezza Mediterranean, patrons will find a fusion of Old-World tradition and New World innovation to the palate.
MADISON
Bottle Hill Tavern
13 Waverly Place,, Madison | 973-949-6060
www.thebottlehilltavern.com
Tavern Fare—Comfort Flare
Grillera Mediterranean Cuisine
91 Park Ave, Madison | 973-301-2080
www.grillera.com
Distinguished Mediterranean Cuisine
Krust Kitchen
7 Cross St, Madison | 908-525-7878
www.krustkitchen.com
Pizza
MAPLEWOOD
Luna Stella
5 Highland Pl, Maplewood | (973) 761-7600
www.restaurantlunastella.com
New American with an emphasis on creativity, fresh ingredients, and inventive cocktails.
ARTIE’S
15 Newark Way, Maplewood | (973) 378-5800
www.artiesnj.com
Destination featuring a bread bakery, plus a wood-fired pizzeria, wine & cocktails.
Ani Ramen House
149 Maplewood Ave, Maplewood (973) 327-2642 | www.aniramen.com
This Japanese noodle house known for its ramen has modern, stylish decor & a BYOB policy.
MILLBURN
Liv Breads
184 Essex Street, Millburn 973-218-6922 | livbreads.com
Artisan bakery & coffee bar
Ms. Lin Chinese Cuisine
59 Main St, Millburn | 973-912-8838
www.MsLinMillburn.com
Ms. Lin Chinese provides convenient take-out and delivery for lunch and dinner and specializes in off-premise catering.
Umi Sushi
339 Millburn Ave, Millburn 973-921-2848
www.MillburnUmi.com
Traditional and Fusion sushi and sashimi. Also find teriyaki, tempura, udon and soba noodle dinners. Most fish is wild-caught. Free delivery.
NEW PROVIDENCE
Moe’s Bistro and Bar
535 Central Ave, New Providence
908-840-4540
moesbistroandbar.com
Located inside the Best Western Plus & Murray Hill Hotel and Suites, Mediterranean flare.
Coppola
Ristorante & Pizzeria
590 Central Ave, New Providence 908-665-0266
Offering pizzas & formal Italian dishes
SHORT HILLS
Boxcar Bar & Grill
25 Chatham Rd, Short Hills 973-912-0002
www.boxcarbar.com
Bar fare
Par 440
Restaurant & Lounge
440 Parsonage Hill Road, Short Hills | 973-467-8882
www.par440.com
A full service restaurant, bar & lounge located on the East Orange Golf Course in Short Hills. Offering bar bites, burgers and tasty entrees.
SOUTH ORANGE
Bistro d’Azur
14 Academy Street, South Orange | (973) 327-9725
www.bistrodazur.com
BYOB fine dining establishment that transports guests to the vibrant South of France. The restaurant’s prix fixe menu showcases the diverse flavors of the Mediterranean region.
Papillon 25
25 Valley St, South Orange (973) 761-5299
www.papillon25.com
Sophisticated restaurant & martini bar serving New American fare in a modern space with live jazz.
Giorgio’s Ristorante
52 Vose Ave, South Orange (973) 762-4440
https://giorgiosristorante.com
Traditional Italian food favorites served in a white-tablecloth setting in a cozy, converted home.
STIRLING
Trattoria Biagio
239 Main Avenue, Stirling 908-350-8064
Authentic Italian cuisine
Twelve Islands
Greek Taverna
1255 Valley Rd, Stirling 908-647-2193
12islandsgreektaverna.com
Traditional Greek fare
SUMMIT
Due 36
50 Maple St, Summit 908-608-0222
Authentic Argentinian/Italian tapas restaurant
La Pastaria
327 Springfield Ave, Summit 908-522-9088
www.lapastaria.org
Italian cusine
Natale’s Summit Bakery
185 Broad St, Summit 908-277-2074
natalesbakery.bakesmart.com
Enjoy a selection of house made specialties including breads, pastries, pies and cakes. Daily specials. This family owned and operated bakery is serving up their delicious twist on bakery classics for over 80 years.
Roots Steakhouse
401 Springfield Ave, Summit 908-273-0027
rootssteakhouse.com/summit
Old-fashioned NY- style
Steakhouse—expect delicious
USDA aged prime beef sourced from the highest quality ranches in the mid-west.
GET OVER IT!
Don’t Let Resentments Drag You Down. In The End, It’s All Up To You.
BY BARRY FARBEROOne of my favorite bands, The Eagles, wrote a song poking fun at people who constantly whine that they are, “victims of this, victims of that,” yet never take responsibility for their lives. The Eagles advice? “Get over it!”
How many people are living with grudges, anger and resentment from the past? It can eat at your insides and do more damage than you think. What’s done is done. And surprisingly, you can gain much from past difficulties—depending on how you look at it.
For example, a study of two sons of an alcoholic father found that one grew up to become a successful businessman, while his brother was living on the streets, a hopeless drunk. Both sons were asked: “Why did you end up this way?” And each had the same answer: “What would you expect with a father like mine?”
It’s all about choices. We can let all the past experiences and people who have “hurt” us make us bitter or better. If we choose to let anger and resentment seethe, they can become like poisons destroying us—and even end up killing us with unnecessary stress. A USA Today study found that more than 80% of doctors’ visits are for illnesses related to stress.
Now, I was about to write some tips on how to get over disappointments and live a more stress-free lifestyle when I thought I’d reverse the process and look at it from a whole new angle.
Here are several tips on how to be miserable. Yes, miserable. You may even know a few people like this— and they wouldn’t trade their misery for all the riches in the world.
TIP #1: Believe the world is against you. Cut yourself off from the world and then somehow, an inner voice tells you that everyone’s out to get you. You have to keep a negative attitude toward everyone—because for some odd reason, people’s reaction will mirror your approach.
TIP #2: Get all wrapped up in yourself. It’s not time to think of people’s needs; after all, you should always come first.
TIP #3: Find an illness in a medical book (and we do have a name for anything you can think up) that defines why people should feel sorry for you. Tell everyone your “diagnosis” to rationalize your misery. This should work well for a while, and when it gets stale, you can search for something else to evoke sympathy.
TIP #4: Blame everyone else for your problems. Never look inside for a solution. Your troubles are always because someone else got lucky and you ended up suffering because of it.
TIP #5: And finally, hold these words close to your heart at all times: anger, jealousy, self-pity, selfishness, self-absorption and revenge.
You get the point. Attitude determines your altitude in most situations— some look up and some look down. We have the final choice. If it’s going to be, it’s up to me.
The writer Maya Angelou phrased it beautifully: “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.” Or, as the Eagles put it, “Get over it.”
BARRY FARBER is a best-selling author, an award winning radio and television host as well as an agent and marketing consultant for corporations, professional athletes, and entertainers. He’s also the creator and marketer of the FoldzFlat® Pens. His latest release is an inspirational children’s book “In search of the magic tree” available at www.barryfarber.com. Follow him @barryfarberofficial.