A Brand New Me BY GLORIA MCDANIEL
“I can finally breathe, don’t be mad. It’s just a brand new kinda free, that ain’t bad. I found a brand new kinda me. Don’t be mad. It’s a brand new time for me.” — Alicia Keys “There’s transformation on the other side of tragedy.” — my therapist
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Letter written by me to one of my abusers – I’ve been contemplating writing this letter to you for years and I finally have the courage to write it and send it. I want you to know a few things: 1. When you sexually molested me, you really messed up my life. You were one of my favorite relatives and I trusted you. That made it worse. I was only 6 or 7 years old when it started. I remember the exact circumstances and I remember everything that you did...and all the locations in which you did those things. 2. I did not enjoy any of those encounters. No matter what you think. Each time hurt me severely. Each time made me more and more damaged… more and more unable to speak up for myself. 3. I can’t and have never been able to sustain a healthy relationship because of what you did. You took my voice away. 4. I did tell my mom, but she didn’t completely believe me because she couldn’t imagine that you (of all people) would do such a thing. It hurt her so much. 5. I have confided in a few people that I trust. 6. It would be nice if you would at least apologize, but it’s okay if you don’t. I don’t need it now that I’ve gotten this off my chest. 8. I don’t wish you ill will because I don’t know what happened in your past. I just want you to know how what you did impacted my life. 9. I’m wounded but I’m not broken. I’m going to be okay, now that I’ve told you how I feel.
