NEWS4U JULY 2022 | OPINION & COMMENTARY
BOURNE WHEN LATE NIGHT THOUGHTS ARE
With
FREDDIE BOURNE
I’VE BEEN ACTING LIKE A JERK FOR AWHILE And yet I still wonder why former friends have
been acting like one for as long as I can
abandoned me?
remember. I’ve had to take a hard look at myself lately and
Now, before you start assuming that I will begin
come to terms with my tendency for odd bouts
to rant some out-of-the-blue, seemingly deep
of narcissism. I think about how I call people to
yet misunderstood soliloquy, let me start by
ask how they’re doing only to spend the majority
prefacing that I’m not looking for anyone to
of the conversation giving them a Wikipedia
reach out and tell me otherwise. Trust me, I don’t
page’s worth of info about me and my life.
need that. I know what the truth is. I get obsessed. With myself. And it’s not good. And maybe the term “jerk” may come off just
It’s become a problem in terms of actually
a tad harsh to some, so for the more natural
keeping friends and developing even more
feeling, I’ll say that I haven’t been a good friend
meaningful relationships. Yet, I still do it.
or acquaintance. What I’m trying to get at is that I'm starting to understand why I have lost
I don’t have an excuse for this behavior and
friends over the years. Although I initially thought
I don’t expect the people in my past that I’ve
I simply outgrew them - as my mother assured
turned off to accept an apology from me. If I
me would be the case - it’s actually that I just
were in your shoes dealing with a privileged
haven’t been a person that even I really want to
white kid full of braggadocio, I would also not let
be around.
him know when I got a new phone number.
A few months ago, it was brought to my attention
To be honest, I pretend to believe the hype
that my blatant honesty was bringing a lot of
about what I’m good at because I hope in turn
people down to the point they would confide in
the belief will actually rub off and I'll be able to
my partner, asking if I was ok. In turn, instead of
back up my supposed confidence. But again,
thanking them for their concerns because they
that's no excuse, so to those that I have turned
care, I decided to get passive aggressive with
off, I wish you well. And thank you for tolerating
them every chance I got: “Why are you talking
me when you didn’t have to.
behind my back? If you were a real friend, you would have told me the truth no matter how non-
I’m trying. And I hope one day, we can give our
confrontational you are.”
friendship another go.
52 | JULY 2022
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"I’VE HAD TO TAKE A HARD LOOK AT MYSELF LATELY AND COME TO TERMS WITH MY TENDENCY FOR ODD BOUTS OF NARCISSISM."
PHOTO: EMILY PELSTON
A
ctually, now that I think about it, I’ve
