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THE BALTIMORE JEWISH HOME
MARCH 4, 2021
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OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home
Dating Dialogue
What Would You Do If… Moderated by Jennifer Mann, LCSW of The Navidaters
Dear Navidaters,
I have been married, baruch Hashem, for five years, and often try to set my friends up with my husband’s friends. Being married, I realize how unimportant the questions the boys and their mothers ask. The questions I am asked are ridiculous. “How baalebatish is her family?” (a.k.a. are they rich?) “Do her grandparents align them-
selves with the Yeshivish world?” “Did she wear heels in seminary, or was she more of a flats kind of girl?” (this one is from a mother). Every time I get off the phone with these mothers, I want to vomit. When I married my husband, my
B A LT I M O R E J E W I S H H O M E . C O M
father was doing incredibly well in business and was supposed to support us for three years in Eretz Yisroel. Long story short, a year after my marriage, his business was crushed by a competitor and all our “plans” were upended. We came back to America and both started working. We, baruch Hashem, are building a nice life together, although it is nothing like the one we dreamed of. I also used to dress up supe- nice, almost fancy, every day. Now, with two kids and 25 pounds later, I am lucky if I get to wear something other than what I wore the day before. Life is so busy and baruch Hashem for that! But dealing in shidduchim is so depressing. Seeing how people’s lives are so planned out before they even agree to meet each other is so sad and naive. Priorities have gone out the window. How can we change this system? Chaya*
Disclaimer: This column is not intended to diagnose or otherwise conclude resolutions to any questions. Our intention is not to offer any definitive conclusions to any particular question, rather offer areas of exploration for the author and reader. Due to the nature of the column receiving only a short snapshot of an issue, without the benefit of an actual discussion, the panel’s role is to offer a range of possibilities. We hope to open up meaningful dialogue and individual exploration.
