COACH Magazine January 2020 by coach-magazine

JANUARY 2020 ISSUE THREE

MAGAZINE

EDUCATE I EMPOWER I INSPIRE

LIVING A LIFE OF PURPOSE Simon Alexander Ong WANT TO BE A COACH? KICKSTART YOUR PROFESSIONAL COACHING BUSINESS STEVE PAYNE

FIT MIND BODY & BUSINESS GARY DAS PEAK

PERFORMANCE

Make your 2020 BUSINESS

with Kevin George

BREAKTHROUGH WITH KIRSTY CARDEN

Coaching insights for you, your life & your business

EDITOR’S LETTER Welcome to Issue 3

2020... the start of a brand-new decade. What’s the next decade going to be about for you? What do you really want to achieve or change? Coaching is a way to unlock and access everything inside you. It enables you to fulfil your true potential, embrace who and what you are and realise what you can achieve. Connecting with your purpose in a focused way; loosening the shackles of limiting thoughts and beliefs, banishing doubt and face fear means you can achieve anything you want - and in this issue there are some truly inspiring coaches from across the world sharing their valuable and unique approaches. This issue is all about purpose, growth and change… so what can you expect inside? - Cover and Business Coach, Kirsty Carden takes you through the exact steps to achieve powerful breakthroughs in your business this year. - The ICF (International Coaching Federation) give their predictions for the future of the coaching industry and what you can do as a coach to prepare and how you can embrace the future. - Alison Coates, Leadership Coach, looks at emotional intelligence and how developing this helps coaching practice. - Award-winning Life Coach Simon Alexander Ong sets out how to live a purposeful life and how to really start reflecting on the important questions of life to find your own answers. - Business Coach & Mentor, Gary Das, writes about how maintaining a positive mindset alongside physical fitness is essential for a healthy and successful business. COACH IS ON:

- If you feel now is the time to heal and move forward, Transformational Coach and Trainer Sarah Ilaria Northe, helps you to start that journey to ‘Come home to you’ by reconnecting with and reclaiming your inner child. - If you want to become a coach or add accredited coach training to your skillset, Master NLP Trainer and International Executive Coach, Steve Payne, walks you through how to start your journey. COACH is here to inspire, educate and empower you on your coaching journey at all stages. Whether you are a coach, want coaching for yourself or are looking to train as a coach you’ll find something or someone that connects with you. 2020 is an exciting year for COACH. The podcast is launching - another platform to share, learn and explore coaching conversations with professional coaches and experts; we are creating powerful partnerships in order to offer you some of the best coach training and development available and the online COACH Directory will launch too, so there is plenty to look forward to! To keep up with everything and be a part of it, join the COACH Community on Facebook, connect with the COACH socials and get in touch if you would like to feature or list in The Directory. Wishing you all a very happy and healthy New Year!

FIND US - LIKE US, FOLLOW US AND BE A PART OF THE MOVEMENT!

Teresa Brooks is an award-winning businesswoman, founder and Editor of COACH Magazine, a professionally trained Coach (AC Accredited Training), NLP Practitioner (ANLP Accredited Training) and Mental Health First Aider MHFA (England). teresabrookscoaching.com

A LOOK INSIDE Editorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 04

2020 BUSINESS BREAKTHROUGHS

LIVING A LIFE OF PURPOSE

RESILENCE & EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

KEEPING A FIT MIND, BODY & BUSINESS

DELIVERING PEAK PERFORMANCE

CAN THERAPY EVER BE RAPID?

ICF INSIGHTS - THE FUTURE OF COACHING

COACH TRAINING

CHOOSING HAPPINESS

CREATING YOUR TED x TALK

HEALING YOUR INNER CHILD

08 CREATING CONSCIOUS RELATIONSHIPS

RECLAIM YOUR SEXUAL POWER

MINDFUL EATING & MINDSET

BALANCING MENTAL WELLBEING

WRITING A BOOK FOR BUSINESS

RECOMMENDED READS & PODCASTS

THE DIRECTORY

Disclaimer@2020 BrooksMedia & TeresaBrooksCoaching. All adverts and articles are printed in good faith and are correct at time of publishing. Whilst every effort is made to ensure the reliability and accuracy of the material, no responsibility is accepted for errors or omissions. No part of this publication may be reproduced or copied without the written consent and permission of the publisher. Cover photo: Kirsty Carden

DESIGNER: MARK HENDERSON REDCRABCREATIVE.COM

2020 HOW TO HAVE A Have you been waiting for a business breakthrough?

e see it time and time again, it’s a New Year and this one will be ‘the one’. The one where everything is different, where we really make it all happen, where we have ‘our breakthrough’ and all our goals and dreams start to come to fruition.

Or maybe not... but why not? Why so hard? Because there’s a huge difference between setting a goal and achieving it. Just like there’s a huge difference between wanting a breakthrough and actually having that breakthrough. Anyone can make a decision or set a goal but actually achieving it is much lower in reality and this is where is where the power of the real breakthrough happens.

What is a breakthrough? Simply put, it’s breaking through a constraint or barrier you have in order to achieve something you want. A breakthrough can be anything from getting clarity on something you’ve been unsure of for a period of time to taking action that leads to something you ultimately want in your business. When this breakthrough occurs, it’s often accompanied by a positive, confirming feeling in your body. As an experienced Coach and NLP Master Practitioner, I’ve seen the patterns and differences between those who have their breakthroughs and those who don’t. Earlier this year I interviewed several business owners and saw the model of exactly how successful 7-8 figure business owners achieved their best ‘breakthroughs’. There is a fast track way to having a breakthrough; by modelling the behaviour of successful people who have already done it! If you are ready to create your breakthrough (or help your clients to) then grab a pen and paper, write the breakthrough you want to have at the top and lets begin..

Values Firstly, you need to know your values and your core beliefs. If you don’t know these, how do you even know that the decision you made is the right one? Before you do anything else you need to know your values and what you truly stand for! Take time to write these down. Do your values align with the goals you want to achieve?

BREAKTHROUGH THIS YEAR Make this year an incredible success for you and your business. Commitment Are you fully committed to making this happen or is there some toe dipping going on? One of the reasons most people fail is because they don’t totally commit in the first place so check in and ask yourself - Is it a ‘I’ll try’ or ‘I must’? Language is so important, both internally and externally, as well as the want and need for this change to happen. Are you 100% committed to achieving this?

Accountability The more skin you have in the game, the more chance you stand of achieving your goal. ‘Put your money where your mouth is’ is really true when it comes to having a breakthrough. Every single successful person I interviewed had a coach or mentor (or both)someone who helped them achieve their breakthrough and kept them accountable as well as publicly committing to the achievement of it. Who can you get to support you and how can you be held more accountable?

Be prepared for self-doubt Whenever you go on a new venture, self-doubt will creep in. Not just yours but the doubt of others too! You need to be ready to catch it. Whenever we try to do something new, our body fights against it trying to keep us safe. The difference between those who had their breakthrough and those that didn’t is they were prepared for this and pushed on regardless. The choice you make here is the difference between breakthrough or not, so prepare for self-doubt now by writing a list of what you will do when it shows up. Listen to that voice and hear it as a sign that you need to realign with what you want - and push through!

It’s all about your identity Last, but not least, this is what everything comes down to - how we see ourselves! Because we will always act in accordance to who we believe we are. If you see yourself as someone that ‘starts but never finishes’, guess what happens? Whatever we achieve or don’t achieve links back to how we see ourselves - our identity. Write this down - ‘I’m the kind of person who always...’ keep writing everything that comes up then notice anything that comes up that conflicts with what you want. Right there - that’s the work you need to do to create your breakthrough.

Kirsty Carden is an NLP Master Practitioner, Mindset & Business Coach for female entrepreneurs and she works with ambitious women to help them to confidently create and grow successful online businesses through becoming more visible. Kirsty supports her clients through her signature mastermind programme, Live, Love, Grow as well as events and workshops, courses, 1-1 coaching and public speaking. She has been featured in The Huffington Post, Bossbabes, Divine Living Magazine, Ideal Home and House Beautiful. kirstycarden.com

THE PURPOSE OF LIFE IS A LIFE OF PURPOSE That was just one of the many things that was achieved en-route to the bolder and more compelling vision of saving the world from Nazi peril. The kind of vision that everyone can get behind. Having clarity around a magnetic vision, a compelling purpose and the value you want to bring into the world is a common characteristic that I have observed amongst many of the most successful leaders and organisations during my journey as a Coach. In fact, the most motivated and fulfilled people I know have desires that are attached to “To live is the a purpose greater rarest thing in the than themselves.

world. Most people

t’s 1943 and chief engineer at aerospace company Lockheed, Clarence “Kelly” Johnson, receives a call from the US Department of Defence. German jet fighters have just appeared over Europe and the US wants a counterpunch.

As Indian exist, that is all.” philosopher Patanjali notes: Oscar Wilde “When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds. Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.”

This was a mission of the utmost importance with an impossibly tight deadline. Kelly, however, had an idea. At their facility in California, he assembles a small team of his brightest engineers and mechanics, gives them total design freedom and walls them off from the rest of Lockheed’s bureaucracy. Just 143 days later - an incredible achievement that is all the more impressive for the fact they are seven days ahead of schedule - Kelly’s team delivers the US’s first military jet to the Pentagon.

I believe that the purpose of life is a life of purpose.

It is important to note that the goal was not to build this new jet in record time.

“Slow down in order to speed up; as silence is paradoxically full of answers”

However, very few of us wake up one day knowing exactly what we want to do with our lives. I certainly did not! Most of the time you just get hints, whispers or soft nudges and then it is up to you to explore and discover. It’s why taking time to reflect is so important if you want to begin living a more purposeful life. Very often you need to slow down in order to speed up because silence is paradoxically full of answers. It is in this space of stillness where you give your innate wisdom a voice, allow your creativity to blossom and experience an awakening of clarity. The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear. Start reflecting on powerful questions such as: •What does success mean to me? •What does fulfilment look like to me? •What choices would I make today if I were already who I want to be tomorrow? •What sort of impact do I want to have in the world? •What must I let go of in order to progress towards where I would like to be? •What am I most curious about and interested in right now? •What action will I take right now to take my interest forward? As Oscar Wilde notes: “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” To begin living a more purposeful life, you must have the courage to follow your curiosities, listen to your heart and take action on those ideas you have; for the value of any idea is only realised when action is taken. A purposeful life requires planning, ownership of your actions and taking responsibility for the where you are, where you are going and the consequences of your choices. Most allow their lives to simply happen to them. Don’t let this be you.

Simon Alexander Ong is an award-winning life coach, executive coach, business strategist & public speaker. He inspires people to see their world differently in order to lead meaningful, purposeful and extraordinary lives. Simon speaks regularly at international events, conferences and corporate events including those organised by Google, O2, The Guardian, Barclays, The Institute Of Directors, Salesforce, The Peter Jones Foundation and Chelsea FC. He has featured in The FT, Women’s Health, HuffPost, Forbes, Virgin StartUp and Harvard Business Review. simonalexanderong.com

RESILIENCE & EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE Skills for personal & professional success

esilience - the ability to adapt, recover and importantly, keep moving forward. As coaches, resilience is a life skill critical to our personal and professional success.

strengths and limitations to avoid projecting onto our clients. It takes self-discipline to practice high emotional intelligence habits to know our ‘inner self’ and develop positive strategies for responding to triggering events. Self-awareness and empathy are critical to the quality of our relationships and our ability to understand our clients. Developing a sense of belonging and connection is essential not only to our sense of well-being, but also to our success in coaching. These skills help us to build rapport, hold space for vulnerable and non-judgemental conversations and make decisions based on emotional information from self and others. Those high in resilience are comfortable asking for help and will say when they are not OK. Embracing our own vulnerability allows us to be fully present in our sessions and develops the strength to work through the challenge of our own internal work. Resilient people systematically engage in proactive emotional management techniques that make them feel positive and which are good for their overall well-being.

Our ability to consistently facilitate positive outcomes for our clients lies in the quality of the effort and energy we invest in our businesses - and in ourselves. To succeed we must stand out - and this requires a commitment to deliberately perfect our coaching competencies and develop the know-how to deal with the emotional demands of a client-centered work focus.

What is resilience and why does it even matter? Resilience is how we navigate the environment around us to build a rock-solid foundation, promote positive experiences and develop emotional well-being, for ourselves and others. It isn’t just about how we bounce to ‘status quo’ after a negative experience, it’s critically the capacity to march forward, despite these experiences. The underpinning of emotional intelligence theory explains that the way we feel influences our decisions and behaviours. Negative emotions result in typically unproductive, unpredictable behaviours that leave us feeling less engaged in our work, narrow our problem solving ability and, ultimately, impact the success of our business. Coaching requires that we continually “There are 5 apply empathy, an unconditional emotionally positive regard and genuineness in our intelligent skills ways of being.This will be demanding on our emotions so we need to grow resilient people the insights to consistently respond in a typically more self managed, resilient manner in display” the future. There are 5 emotionally intelligent skills resilient people typically display and a great coach recognises that ‘resilience is as resilience does’ and will apply these core skills to improve their own mindset, refine knowledge and work on busting limiting beliefs; Self-discipline, self-awareness, empathy, authenticity, vulnerability and emotional management. Resilient people make the time and energy to do what is required. As coaches, we must continually work on our own

Below are 4 simple emotional management strategies, which set the groundwork for resilience. •Thinking strategies - reflective journaling to engage the inner sage; mindful meditation and a ‘24-hour emotions diary’ to raise emotional self-awareness. •Physical strategies - quality sleep, nourishing food and regular exercise. Visualisation to identify how emotions present in the body and using mindfulness to help manage emotions more effectively in the moment •Relationship strategies - ask for & effectively respond to feedback, lean in to difficult conversations and use cognitive reframing techniques in situations that cause emotional distress. Coaching supervision is an exceptional mechanism that allows us to re-construct our experiences, reflect and develop new responses. It develops our competence within the industry and supports us being able to perform despite the demands and complexities of our work. •Environmental strategies - modifying your day to specifically plan time for proactive management techniques. For example, specifying email and call times. Time blocking is an effective means of scheduling time to intentionally envision, explore and learn.

Alison Coates is a certified Emotional Intelligence Coach and a qualified Industrial Psychologist, Programme and Project Manager. As a coach to the consulting industry, Alisonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s success centres around a multi-disciplinary approach. Having spent 25 years in a corporate environment as a Business Change/ Transformation Consultant and Programme Manager, both in the UK and in SA, Alison now combines this experience with Emotional Intelligence practices and Life Coaching techniques. Based in Durban, South Africa, Alison supports her client base through global / remote working. coaching@alisonjcoates.com

it MIND, BODY fFIT & BUSINESS

Why positive mindset and regular exercise is the foundation of business success

’m part of the 5am club. In the gym by 5.30am; hitting the cardio, lifting weights, focused on conditioning my body, mind and, as a result, my business. My routine sets a strong intention for the day and is a key part of my business success. A fit business needs a fit mind and body to run it The role that physical and mental fitness plays in achieving success can be underestimated, but it’s the foundation of it all. Exercise releases endorphins which reduce stress and improve energy levels, cognitive ability and sleep quality. When you train your body, your mind also gets a workout – it’s stimulated to sharpen and perform at its peak and a huge part of achievement in sport and fitness lies in the mindset. Owning and running your own business is physically and mentally demanding and the qualities needed for a fit body are the same ones needed for a fit business; resilience, determination, strength and consistency to name but a few.

Within 6 months, I recovered from my accident and, eventually, playing sport again helped me lose the weight and regain my fitness. This, in turn, alleviated my pain and allowed my mental fitness to restore balance. But the memory of that fat teen still haunts me and is a constant motivation to maintain my mind and body fitness.

As a coach and mentor to service-based business owners, property investors and mortgage professionals, I help people create more profit, time and freedom, build their business and market their brand to achieve an all-round ‘fit business’.

Values of Fitness and Health

Overcoming setbacks

These are two of my core values and I am grateful for them daily as I also know what it’s like to nearly lose them.

Investing in your physical and mental fitness is essential as a business owner or entrepreneur in order to overcome setbacks.

Aged 13, I was a football-loving boy, fit and always on the move until an ice-skating accident shattered my kneecap. There was a chance I would never play football again. Bed-bound and attached to a machine, I didn’t move much, I couldn’t sleep, I comfort ate and ballooned from 9 to 13 stone. This shattered my self-image and my confidence. This was my first learning about the connection between body and mind. My negative body image had caused a negative state and mindset.

I’ve suffered setbacks in business over the last 13 years and experienced what I perceived to be huge failures, alongside burnout and self-sabotage. Each time, maintaining a fit body and a fit mind has given me the resilience and strength to rise again. I know now that, without regular training for my body, my mindset and overall wellbeing can also suffer. If my mindset suffers, my business will too.

Gary Das is a Mentor,

Business Coach and NLP practitioner, founder of award-winning mortgage brokerage, Active Mortgage, host of the “Mortgage Pro Podcast” and author of the SelfEmployed Mortgage Guide. He helps servicebased business owners and entrepreneurs to create more money, time and freedom and to accelerate their business, maximise their marketing and build powerful personal and business brands. garydas.com

Mental Agility

Photographer: Jennifer Fage @ beinspiredmedia.co.uk

My mental agility was exercised and toned yet again when I invested in coach and NLP training. Learning about the way the mind works and how to direct it effectively to achieve goals using frameworks and tools is akin to being in the gym using weights and equipment designed to strengthen your body. The acceleration I’ve achieved in my business in the last 4 years is a direct result of my commitment in these areas. My business needs me to maintain a fit mind and body; a balance requiring focus and consistency - two key requirements for a thriving business. Your focus, productivity, business success and wealth can and will improve and accelerate when you make the time to exercise your body and your mind, eat well, rest well, invest in yourself - and always keep your head in the game.

“My routine sets a strong intention for the day and is a key part of my business success”

KEVIN GEORGE – FROM PREMIER LEAGUE FOOTBALLER...

Using emotional literacy to develop intellectual hearts.

REACH YOUR ULTIMATE POTENTIAL &

DELIVER PEAK PERFORMANCE

fter spending eight years as a premier league Professional Footballer, for clubs such as West Ham Utd and Charlton Athletic FC, I featured in films, programmes and global commercials for brands such as Nike, Coca Cola and Walkers Crisps.

During my time in professional football, I learnt that there was a great deal invested into how to perform as players; but not as people. This was a huge problem, both then and still now. Clubs I played at were regularly shunning players when their emotions affected their performances in a negative way. Often described as their “legs have gone” “can’t handle the pressure” “not up to it” or “bad attitude” they were describing what they didn’t understand -the emotional experience of a player and of the person. These comments would most often come after players struggled with rejection, trauma of injury, micro-management issues and other big changes thrust upon them.

Body doubling for a host of stars that include Cristiano Ronaldo, Thierry Henry and John Abrahams, and being so close to these talents, I used to observe their behaviours and to talk with them about their success. Although the scenes were manufactured on set, Cristiano and Thierry seemed like different players. Without the intensity of their professional surroundings, we could not ignite the aggression within them and the unconscious mind could not be activated. Probably their main drivers behind their performance. This led me to begin my journey in human behaviour. Studying psychotherapy, neuro-Linguistic programming, coaching and reading up on neuroscience, I developed a passion for how human beings performed in different spaces and turned my passion into a human performance business to help people with change.

I knew this because I was one of those players. I had a manager that would tell the team to play, step by step, in a playing style that was negative and restrictive. It went against what drew the players to the game in the first place - self expression. I personally felt that I could not express myself. This is common in football among coaches, whereby they feel as though they are doing the best for the player. What about when they get it wrong? I believe that you should allow the player to fail on their terms, coach them in terms of the definition of the word and not the limitations of the football translation.

TO HUMAN PERFORMANCE CONSULTANT. insight into how Sir Alex Ferguson managed people. I then noticed hundreds of other players going through their own negative This is the true core of coaching and one I was journey in this ‘dreamland’ of passionate about delivering via Soccolgy. “When someone professional football. I began to Fast forward 14 years and I’m working with create remedial programmes for listens and invests a group of U23s at a Premier League club. the problems I, and others, had in us personally, I ask them to raise their hand if they’re experienced and witnessed in we feel extra value; playing at their best. 3 out of 22 hands show. school, football and society. leading us to invest The remaining 19 players linked not fulfilling Football coaches and managers more in ourselves, their potential to emotional problems. focus heavily on player thus enriching the Aside from player performance, football development and methods and, relationship and our contains people who have challenging home as coaches, do not reflect the performance.” and personal lives, so mindful management task and achievement sense of the is also a vital part of the player’s overall verbs; manage and coach. development as a human being. To paraphrase Sir Ken Robinson, “You can be engaged in the activity of something Kevin George is an exbut not really achieving it, like dieting. professional premier league ‘He’s dieting. Is he losing weight? Not really’. footballer, psychotherapist, Why? Because the dieting isn’t addressing the trained coach and NLP real problem. practitioner. He delivers Coaching is a word like that. ‘There he is on pitch Soccology programmes 5, coaching.’ across the UK and his But if he’s not being understood, supported and views on mental health motivated to achieve from within, not addressing the real problems, he’s engaged in the task of coaching have seen him featured on but not fulfilling it.” international media platforms The greatest football coaches utilise the human relationship. such as BBC, ITV, GQ. He writes for Sir Alex Ferguson tailored his communication to the individual, the British Council’s global education magazine investing time to get to know them personally. He is not known and partners on their international projects. He as a great coach, he is known as a great manager because delivers behaviour therapy in schools nationally, of ability to personally manage people. For people not in the facilitates emotional literacy in Wandsworth football world, praise is thrust upon coaches when achieving tactical, and on managers when they get the best out of Prison and counsels for England’s biggest players, when in truth both are about getting the best out of children’s mental health charity, Place2Be. people. In my Soccology book two former Manchester United kevin-george.com players, Quinton Fortune and Kieran Richardson give more

What is Soccology? Combining football with therapy, Soccology promotes positive change, from promoting mental health awareness to social inclusion and is a service for change using the biggest game in the world as a model. Clubs I played at often had players potentially worth millions but, not knowing how to tap into their potential, they excluded them. Often from challenging backgrounds, their unconscious mind needed support to develop and unlock their true potential; something football intelligence heavily relied upon. The result? Wasted talent. This happens in all areas of life. So many people don’t fulfil what they could as they are not able to unlock this potential and implement change. This is how coaching changes everything; on all levels, for all types of people. Soccology facilitates organisational and individual change in the form of mental health, emotional literacy, social inclusion and professional development and had delivered across 90% of the Premier League, to academies, schools, national corporations and individuals.

The best-selling book, Soccology, features professional international footballers, a Psychophysicist. a KPMG senior partner, two coaches and a manager. It offers insight into the lives of the world’s best and how to develop as a player intellectually and emotionally to reach ultimate potential and deliver peak performance.

COACHING MEETS THERAPY TO ACHIEVE RAPID TRANSFORMATIONS

How does it work? Rapid Transformational Therapy is an intense 2-hour process done under hypnosis which utilises powerful modalities like regression, untethering, role/function/ purpose, installing the cheerleader and upgrading the child. A 20-minute personalised recording is also created to listen to daily. This continues the re-wiring process after treatment so between 1 and 3 sessions is usually enough. Can therapy ever be rapid? Yes. Very often a phobia can be transformed instantly but things like chronic illness or deep depression may need longer. Neurons that fire together wire together, so RTT jumpstarts that process by helping to carve out the pathways for happiness, courage and freedom. ‘As a qualified therapist, I go deep, back to childhood to explore memories under hypnosis in order to gain clarity as to why limiting beliefs have been adopted and then I help you to re-wire your neurology to facilitate change. I’m hugely passionate about innovative approaches to health and wellbeing which are rooted in neuroscience and have first-hand experience with dissolving personal challenges like chronic anxiety, depression, insomnia, stress, burnout, relationship issues, sugar addiction and co-dependency. When you can clear out the past and cultivate the right mindset tools, you can then believe you are enough – and can thrive in this world feeling connected and worthy.’

hen you think of coaching, you probably think of ‘strategy’ and ‘accountability’ for your business or your personal life but how can coaching combine with therapy to help?.

A coach is an expert at dealing with the now and moving forward whilst a therapist is an expert at unravelling and making sense of the past. Coaching affects change through the conscious mind and hypnotherapy affects change through the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind drives your preferences and your conscious mind is the driver of your decisions and choices. Ultimately, the two working in tandem is the ideal state. Rapid Transformational Therapy and Clinical Hypnotherapy works in that deeper, darker place where most ‘blocks’ emanate from. We’ve all known someone who just can’t seem to push through their fears and problems to get forward and, no matter what analogy you offer them or however wise the words of support, it just doesn’t seem to make any difference or help. Maybe you feel like that and just can’t get out of that funk or ‘that place’ even though you want to, and you know it’s not healthy for you? Worse still, it’s stopping you from being happy and achieving your goals in life. Why is this? Most patterns, behaviours and blocks are written in childhood and that ‘set point’ stays until we become aware of them and choose to re-wire our neurology. How do these patterns get set? As children, we have 3 main needs. 1. To feel safe, secure and loved. 2. To avoid rejection and find connection. 3. For our feelings and emotions to be validated. All too often our needs aren’t met in childhood and we create ‘protection’ mechanisms to meet those needs instead. Things like shutting down, attention seeking, taking on too much responsibility, people pleasing, addiction, co-dependency, OCD and even anxiety, depression or insomnia. We are wired during childhood to keep loving our parents; even if they treated us badly or didn’t listen to us. As a result, we never stop loving our parents, but we do stop loving ourselves and blocks are born out of that such as shame, guilt and fear of rejection.

Sally Garozzo is a Clincial Hypnotherapist and Rapid Transformational Therapist (RTT). She founded Inspiring Talks Brighton and is hugely passionate about an innovative approach to health and wellbeing. She works with a broad range of clients seeking resolution and freedom from their past patterns in order to find happiness and self-worth. sallygarozzo.com

THE INSIDE TRACK...

THE FUTURE OF COACHING Coaches - are you future ready?

The coaching industry is in a state of flux and if you continue to do what you’ve always done, you may find the industry has changed but you haven’t. BRITT MACFARLANE is a Board member of the UK ICF and shares the findings of the latest ICF research with COACH.

How to prepare as a coach - Taking steps to make the most of these changes. PREDICTION - Coaching will still be in high demand but for specialist coaches that can provide targeted coaching for specific challenges. Currently team coaching is also gaining in popularity. PREPARATION - Grow your own expertise in specific areas e.g. leadership, agile, wellbeing or executive.

he ICF is the largest professional coaching association and sets the gold standard for coaching. With circa 35,000 members in over 140 countries, the UK branch is the largest branch. What can the experts tell us about the future of coaching? ‘Our industry is currently unregulated and those of us who have experienced professional coaching and have chosen to go through an accredited coach training program understand, and are passionate about, the positive and powerful change good coaching facilitates.’

“Giving coaches who change the world the tools they need to change it.”

PREDICTION - With the increase in awareness of the importance for mental wellbeing, we believe there will be an increase in demand for holistic coaches and coaching. PREPARATION - Ensure you have a holistic understanding to bring - a client is always a whole person, something that technology cannot access.

The Board of the UK ICF has been examining the coaching industry to predict the direction and plan for our members and we believe there are number of societal influences that could potentially affect the coaching industry in the next 3-10 years, if not sooner. The main two being;

PREDICTION - Awareness of the benefits of hiring a credentialed coach is growing and demand for credentialed coaches will also grow. PREPARATION - Join a professional association, get a credential, or step up a level if you already have a credential to increase credibility.

1. Coaching in Organisations - In realising the value of coaching in the workplace in areas of organisational change, personal wellbeing and performance, organisations will look to increase their provision but at a lower cost. This could lead to increased internal coaching and using technology to provide basic coaching to employees at all levels, moving coaching away from being an exclusive investment for the top leadership tier. The UK ICF is preparing for this by starting a new membership stream - ICF for Organisations; working together to share latest research, best practice and support coaching culture development. 2. Technology – this is evolving so quickly, it’s hard to predict what will become the new norm. Technology already exists to assist coaches and Coaching, also alongside other technology that tries to replace the human element of coaching. We feel that whilst some technology will take over coaching basics such as planning, record keeping, client tracking and communication, it will not be able to truly read what the client is ‘not saying’ or read clients’ unrecognised programs. Therefore, coaching for true behavioural change, we believe, will still firmly be the remit of human coaches.

PREDICTION - Coaching technology will grow and diversify. PREPARATION - Keep up with developments in the technology world; use the coaching support apps to offer you an advantage in a technology embracing world. PREDICTION - It might become harder to make a living from pure coaching. PREPARATION - Diversify your portfolio to offer supervision, mentoring, training and facilitation. PREDICTION - There will still be a high demand for executive coaching by external coaches. PREPARATION - Develop your executive coaching skills.

coachfederation.org

The UK ICF would like to wish you every success and we hope to be there along your journey to support you in your professional coaching career.

FOR THE NEXT GENERATION OF SUCCESSFUL COACHES

Steve Payne, Coach, Master NLP Trainer, Founder of The Academy of Coaching and Training, International Executive Coach, Keynote Speaker, Co-author of My 31 Practices. taoct.uk

Taking an accredited course does not make you an accredited coach and it is important that the course you do decide to take is accredited by one of the industry’s leading recognised bodies, such as the AC, ICF or EMCC.

What do you need to run a successful coaching business? Working as an international coach, NLP Master Trainer and a trainer of professional coaches for more than a decade, I have become extremely familiar with the issues facing new coaches. For a financially thriving coaching business, the following elements are key:

1. You need to BE a great coach and develop the awareness and high levels of skills great coaches have. 2. Developing great skill with coaching tools, frameworks and processes to be able to craft your coaching for client success 3. Thinking like an entrepreneur and marketer. Professional coaching is a business, so you need solid business skills.

he coach training industry is an unregulated, technologically fast-paced and highly competitive world. These factors have a massive impact on the future of coaches and coaching. Standards matter, the technology needs to be embraced and re the competition, you need to be in it to win it.

4. Developing products and income streams that you can market.

The Academy of Coaching & Training Premier Coach Training Programme The A.C.T. is an Organisational Member of the Association for Coaching and was founded in 2011 with the intention of ensuring high quality and standards in coach training and at the same time to prepare coaches for business success.

The first crucial step on your journey is your initial coach training and when it comes to the word ‘accreditation’, there is much confusion. Taking an accredited training course comes first. Later you can opt to become an independently accredited coach if you wish through an application process with one of the organisational bodies.

This programme brings together coaching and business skills via a highly experiential training experience which blends theory with extensive practice. It builds in all the key elements a new coach needs to start their professional coaching career.

COACH TRAINING MODULES

THE 4STEP PROGRAMME - SKILLS, TOOLS, ENTREPRENEURSHIP & PRODUCTS

7 x 1-day modules in Central London on one Saturday per month over 7 months. Interactive Module Workbooks supplied for each module.

1. SKILLS - The N.L.P. A.L.I.G.N.E.D. C.O.A.C.H. Model This program has been designed by successful coaches and business entrepreneurs based on the foundation of practical ‘real-world’ experience. It provides an internationally recognised set of coaching competencies and code of ethics and good practice. Accredited by the Association for Coaching, it’s a highly experiential model for coach training that goes further than most coach training courses and provides an accredited NLP Diploma certification within it.

(Modules run on repeat so once the cycle of 7 modules is completed so you can build it into what works for you if one is missed.) Coursework - In addition to in-person training.

2. TOOLS - Introducing some of the most powerful tools found in NLP and coaching covering aspects such as:

4. PRODUCTS - Any coaching service you sell is a product. To maximise impact and success, most successful businesses have multiple products and income streams, and a way to grow their customer base and embrace online marketing.

Daily Reflective Logs: what’s covered on each module. 25-hours of real-life Coaching practice: we help you to find clients for this. Coaching Logs: records of each coaching session completed. Reflective Essay: Minimum 1,500-words outlining your unique approach to the practice of coaching

The course also explores: • The pros and cons of determining your coaching niche • Creating products which are your own intellectual property • Creating multiple automated products.

Quality and Credibility Two accredited certifications upon successful completion:

• Values • Beliefs • Purpose • Language & Communication • Goal setting • Alignment • Self-leadership 3. ENTREPRENEURSHIP - Essential business skills including business administration and accounts, insurance, marketing & sales, automation, lead generation, engagement & social media.

Association of Coaching (AC) Accredited Certificate in Coach Training. Association of Neuro Linguistic Programming (ANLP) Accredited NLP Diploma. Lifetime Access - Re-sit all modules free anytime, network with past and present course participants and gather CPD hours. Support - Our Facebook community, The A.C.T. Tribe is a valuable resource and extends support beyond training. Members Area - Full access to the online members area, packed with resources.

COACH readers considering coach/NLP training are invited to book a free 30 minute call with me to ask any questions and talk about what you want. It’s crucial to explore your training options in order to make the choice that is right for you. steve.payne@taoct.uk

If you want to make 2020 the year you become a professional coach, your training choices are crucial.

Happiness

is a choice.

Positivity in the face of challenge - is it possible?

ver the last 6 years I’ve faced some immense personal challenges and, yet, I still remain an eternally positive person.

Mental strength is key to making good choices. Mentally strong people don’t feel sorry for themselves, aren’t ashamed to be vulnerable and cry where needed. They don’t feel the world owes them anything and they are willing and able to be adaptable. Ross dying was, and continues to be, one of the most painful things in my life. People often ask how I have been able to manage my pain to move forward and why I don’t fit the stereotypical widow image. The answer is, I refuse to be stuck in pain. When you are focused on an injustice you think has been thrust upon you, you can get completely stuck there. To become unstuck, you need to find a level of acceptance and responsibility.

The most challenging of those being in 2017 when my husband, Ross, died of a rare brain cancer aged just 32 and my world changed forever. Rewind to 2014… I was happily married with two daughters. My husband ran his own business and I was a TV actress who had appeared on well-known UK TV shows such as Waterloo road, Byker Grove and The Bill. I had just finished filming some episodes of BBC Casualty and had been cast in a film. Our daughter Brooke was nearly 3 and our youngest daughter, Texas, was turning 1. I was a woman with an incredible family and life. ... then it all changed. After Ross was diagnosed, I came home, I sat down on the cold kitchen floor and I cried. That crying where you think you’ll never stop; but in those moments of grief, I had clarity and more raw, brutal honesty than I’d ever had in my life. I took back my power. I decided that we were not going to be victims of this, that we could still have a good life whatever time we had left together. I made a choice to do whatever it took to get my family through this.

“I’m not special; the reason I am living a happy life now is because of the techniques I have learnt and the attitude I choose to take”

The HappyMe Project The Happy Me Project launched just 3 months after Ross’s death, inspired by the hundreds of messages from people who wanted to know how I coped. Originally a 21 day online self- development course to help people find direction and purpose, it’s now a successful in-person workshop. The workshop is designed to inspire others that life CAN and WILL be tough, yet it can be amazing at the same time. It’s about resilience, self- development and doing the work to pull yourself through the tough times, whilst still observing, appreciating and enjoying the good times.

Mental strength and making choices

As a self-development mentor and NLP Practitioner, I help people to move forward positively.

Pain and hardship are not pleasant, but there is positivity in embracing them. When you accept that pain and suffering are part of our human experience, that it’s something that connects us all and that none of us are immune, then you can learn to create a great life, regardless of the pain. I choose to be happy more than I’m don’t. Life can still be challenging and yet is full of opportunity - it’s my choice how to look at it. And it’s yours, too.

Ultimately, your happiness is down to you. You decide how you live your life, how you react, how you feel, what you say and what you do. Be kind to yourself, forgive yourself and remember that resilience isn’t about what you can endure, it’s about resting, recuperating and living fully in your good moments. It’s about accepting what you can control and letting go of what you cannot.

Remember this… You’re not unlucky, things don’t come in 3’s and it’s not just you.

Holly Matthews is a former TV actress, award-winning vlogger, NLP Practitioner, speaker and self-development mentor. She started her acting career aged 11 and at 18 was signed to Sony and toured the UK. Holly also worked on Waterloo Road, The Bill, Doctors and BBC Casualty. The Happy Me project has helped 100â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s of people and featured on Lorraine Kelly, in Hello, The Daily Mirror, Metro and countless national newspapers. Holly is also a contributor to Psychologies Life Labs, and a Huffington Post Blogger. iamhollymatthews.com

HOW TO LAND & CREATE Minnie Von Mallinckrodt-Grant is a professional Marketing Strategist & Speaking Mentor for TED x . She helps business owners, coaches, entrepreneurs and thought leaders to create compelling presentations and TED x talks, master speaking, harness confidence and command the room to create impact.

A POWERFUL AND IMPACTFUL TALK “People who want to speak have the same thing in common- to be the best and seen as the best. They want to master speaking and impart their expertise. I help them create a talk that disrupts and markets them as the only option for their clients. As a curator and speaker mentor for TEDx, I not only choose speakers but help them create their talks, train them to deliver with confidence and gain views of their talks - and possibly to go viral.”

What is a TEDx talk?

Thunberg - she uses powerful emotive language with personal action to create a movement and be heard. Speaking is the fastest way to grow your business. You connect with many people at once, you’re seen as a leader, one talk leads to another, you create higher level connections, clients and opportunities that non-speakers don’t get exposed to. You can be agile and iterate your message. You can repurpose talks for big stages, small stages, different markets, deliver them online, on video, on TV or Radio. You can monetize your talks through paid speaking or sell products and services on the back of your talk.

A TED talk only happens at official TED events. TEDx events are run by licensed organisers who create a TED style event in their hometown to bring new ideas and spark discussions in their community. With 3000+ TEDx events run globally every year, speaking at TEDx is an easier way to get the speaker accolade. What are they for? Whilst speaking at TEDx gives massive credibility, TED talks aren’t about pitching your business or simply motivating. Their purpose is to challenge the status quo with deep insights for solutions to problems that you may never have even heard of before!

How hard is it to get a TEDx talk? You can either be invited to speak or apply. The application is key. TEDx will not typically give you feedback, they don’t have time, so getting help in creating a compelling pitch is vital if you want to fast track to the TEDx stage.

The Myths Professional and motivational speakers have no advantage over unknown voices. TEDx want fresh ideas and new content. You don’t have to speak about your profession or tell your life story. If you have expertise in a subject and can pique curiosity with a solid solution, your pitch has a good chance.

Is a TEDx talk for everyone? Whilst I believe everyone has a talk inside of them, you don’t have to wait until then to speak more and growing your impact, COACH MAGAZINE influence and business fast. We invite people to speak at our Free Strategy session to events, but we discuss how you can can’t invite leverage speaking or land you if we don’t know about your talk. Plus a you! Look for free training video. opportunity to www.minnievon.com/apply speak and be heard. Quote COACH when booking.

What makes a viral talk? Strategic marketing mixed with great content. Start your marketing way before your video launches- as soon as you get the speaking gig because by the time your talk video is launched, you will have already missed the biggest opportunity to effectively market it. For content to go organically viral, it needs to be disruptive, universal and shareable. Karl Jung said, ‘what’s most personal is most universal’ and the most successful talks have a point and narrative that resonates as truthful, relatable and relevant for many people - hence they get shared.

READER OFFER

How can I grow my business with it? If you’re a coach and you want to speak at TEDx, you don’t have to talk about what you do. Lead with something unique that you are invested in. Think Greta

COMING HOME TO

What does ‘coming home’ to you mean and why is it necessary?

t’s my belief through experience in my own life, and through delivering thousands of hours of intuitive coaching and healing to others, that most of us are in crisis.

This way of working as a coach is hugely demanding and life changing and, as a coach facilitating these processes, it’s essential to walk your talk and commit to being fully present and genuine in the coaching relationship. My own relationship with myself and my younger fragmented self is crucial and, to hold space effectively for my clients, I consistently commit and recommit to my own healing.

We are in crisis in our relationships, our health, about the world around us and our meaningful purpose. We’re searching for answers outside of ourselves to bring us peace and liberation from the dis-ease within us. But the wonderful thing about crisis is that it presents as much opportunity as it does challenge. Transformational coaching and inner child healing are designed to help you remember the pure and potent wonder of your true essence. This is what has been forgotten from a very young age when we have experienced imprints, wounds and traumas which have caused us to reject, abandon, shame and judge our young selves. We fall out of love with ourselves and this broken relationship then reflects in every relationship we have within our world. Working transformationally with the inner child utilises the quantum theory of no time and no space to alter a client’s reality - past, present and future. The approach works with the whole self; the emotional, energetic, mental and physical dimensions, working across time and space to heal old stories and shift limited perceptions. This enables clients to take full responsibility of their power as a creator and for their own unique creations. We are able to heal the wounds of our own perceptions and take ownership of how we relate to ourselves and therefore to the people and the world we perceive around us. It is necessary to begin a whole new love affair with yourself? Without the ability to love all aspects of yourself, every relationship becomes a mirror reflecting back on us the shadows we find unpalatable within ourselves. We hide away our vulnerabilities but then see them illuminated in our relationships. We resist them and the consequence is that we deny the other person permission to love us fully as we truly are.

It’s always fear that stops us from taking this path of intimately relating to our true essence. Fear that we are not enough, fear that we are not worthy, fear that we will be rejected and of course fear that we will not withstand our own brilliant divinity. It is that last sentence which my soul knows to be the truth. It’s that brilliance and light that my inner child recognises as home. It’s the place where she spins with her arms outstretched knowing she is pure, perfect and complete. The tragic truth is that so many times, every day this brilliance is denied - with a harsh word, yet another criticism and a further dimming of that light. It is stark and painful to see how the children within us have been neglected, shamed and mistreated with our constant internal criticism, avoidance of feeling our emotions and everpresent worry about what others will think. However, the healing that’s possible through the process of reintegration and nurturing is a joy to witness. The power of love and compassion to heal the broken relationship with self, results in physical, emotional and mental healing that has been previously impossible.

You can find out more in my book ‘Find Your True Northe - Awaken to the pure wonder’. 22

â&#x20AC;&#x153;We fall out of love with ourselves and this broken relationship then reflects in every relationship we have within our world.â&#x20AC;?

Sarah Ilaria Northe is a deeply intuitive coach, healer, trainer, supervisor and writer. She is founder of True Northe Coaching Academy, creator of the CLEARER method of Transformational Coaching and the Inner Child Transformation Process and co-creator of Equine Facilitated Coaching. Her style of transformational coaching and coach training has been developed over 20 years and she also delivers professional programmes, retreats and workshops in a beautiful countryside setting. sarahilarianorthe.com

Michael Lauria is a qualified counsellor, family & relationship therapist, menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s mentor and relationship guide based in Melbourne. With over 15 years experience, he works both in person and online to help you create the life and relationship you dream of. Heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s spent years studying the principles surrounding neuroscience, neuroplasticity and the deep connections between the body-mindspirit. This research underpins his philosophy and guiding principles and his methods incorporate a fusion of talk centred therapy and personcentred coaching. michaellauriacoaching.com

CREATING A CONSCIOUS, CONNECTED RELATIONSHIP The “perfect couple” seen daily on social media and in other media has become an unrealisitic framework for our relationship expectations.

n alluring and attractive concept, it’s natural to want to find this special person to emulate this ‘ideal’ relationship but after the initial flush of meeting someone new, perceptions can change and you find yourself walking awayperhaps too quickly? This can become habitual in order to find that elusive ‘soulmate’ who will “complete” us.

Unconscious expectations In the age of instant gratification and increasing levels of entitlement, it’s becoming easier to discard people and dismantle relationships when they don’t appear to live up to our idealistic (and largely unconscious) expectations. This can become a regular occurrence. Wearing your ‘heart on our sleeve’, you expose your vulnerability and this can result in more breakups as you perceive your expectations aren’t being met. When this failure and pain occurs, protection systems kick in. Less vulnerability is exposed next time and, as a result, layers of protection form to protect and avoid future or repeat pain. An entirely natural and unconscious response, this inevitably contributes to the destruction of more relationships. This can happen repeatedly until resignation sets in to ‘give up’ on “relationships” and turn elsewhere for something we believe may be more satisfying. Namely engaging in short-term (mostly unsatisfying) physical encounters with the aim of avoiding pain and feeling good. But these encounters only deliver a temporary dopamine hit so the familiar dull ache of dissatisfaction creeps in as this cycle repeats until, at some point, the awareness arises that this unhealthy pattern is not the answer. So how can you achieve a deeper and fulfilling connection with another human being?

Break unhealthy patterns Most people enter relationships (whether short or long term) unconsciously, stay in them unconsciously and then leave unconsciously too. It’s a cyclical pattern which repeats for years and damages to both people. You can change it by developing self-awareness and practising conscious communication. 1. Self-awareness helps you understand that how you currently think, feel and behave isn’t working for you. You can then commit to a course of action that helps you ‘de-layer’ the selfconditioning that has developed over time.

This is the first step but if you avoid this, you unconsciously choose to create the same undesirable results. 2. Taking personal responsibility for the results you have created empowers you to change and create better results in the future. This involves a level of deep self-reflection, developing awareness around your patterns of thinking and learning to find new ways to meet your needs. Unfortunately, not many people do this. They look to their partners to be their best friend, perfect lover, confidante, emotional supporter, intellectual stimuli and the object of their attraction; but it’s an overload of expectation to place on another. It creates a heavy reliance on a partner to meet needs we are responsible for and this can be an overwhelming pressure for partners to provide; at levels they simply can’t. Deep selfreflection with a commitment to take full responsibility for our own needs “Deep selfand state is the work to be done. reflection with 3. The quality of all a commitment communication is key in relationships; but it is the level to take full of consciousness you bring responsibility for to that communication which our own needs and changes things. Unconscious communication, state is the work (words spoken without to be done” considered thought), is as unhelpful as no communication at all and, in many cases, far more damaging to relationships. Quality, conscious communication occurs when (even in the heat of verbal conflict) we choose our words carefully and intentionally. It’s a learned skill that, when mastered, creates deep levels of connection. In order to be open and vulnerable to share how you truly feel and communicate your message in a way which has a greater chance of being received with the intention it holds, you need to feel safe in that communication. Safety means a history of proven instances where we have expressed how we feel and received a positive response; or at least not an aggressive, negative or violent one. If you can improve your self-awareness and communication, you have a much stronger chance at connecting with someone deeply enough for your relationship to last the distance in a fulfilling way for both of you.

IGNITE YOUR SEXUALITY Sarah Rose Bright is a pioneer as the UK’s first certified sex, pleasure & intimacy coach and founder of Ignite your Sexuality and V-Life. She has worked with hundreds of women, men and couples to empower them to awaken their true sexual nature and live their full potential. She blends extensive training, personal experience, ancient wisdom and modern sexology for clients to love their true sexual nature and create happy, healthy, empowered and confident lives. sarahrosebright.com

y reclaiming and channeling this energy, you can use it for creativity health, vitality and much more. By building up your sexual power, you can build up more personal power.

it is something that is yours and not just something in relation to another person.

Common sexuality problems You will usually be aware of problems and it can be an uncomfortable place in which you may feel guilt, shame or fear. Lack of sexual confidence, little or no sex, low or no desire, not getting aroused, not orgasming, early ejaculation, erections problems, not knowing what you want or how to ask for it are some key issues and they are very common. It is common to feel alone and like you have no one to talk to. Many people don’t realise help is available and it’s often the first step that’s the most challenging. What you may also not realise is many of these problems sit beyond the medical realms. Hoping these problems will go away or resolve themselves can mean months and years slip by and it gets worse; until something happens. This is often a major life event which raises deep questions and can be a trigger to get help.

The Taoists and the Tantrikas have known this for eons. Napoleon Hill talked about this in Think and Grow Rich when he wrote about cultivating sexual energy for creativity and success. When people address their sexual issues, they are more innovative and creative in work, more confident and take more risks. When you are blocked or shutdown sexually, it affects your confidence, relationships, work, creativity, health, business success - everything. However, just as it shuts areas down it can also open them up. This area is often the missing link yet it’s usually the last place people look during their personal development work. Part of reframing your sexuality means understanding

- EMPOWER YOUR LIFE Our sexuality is our life source and our power source. Impact on personal relationships Thoughts and beliefs about how sex ‘should’ be can really affect people negatively. The most common belief is that sex should be focused on the goal of erections and orgasms which puts pressure on from the start, so re-orientating people to enjoy pleasure and to enjoy the journey makes a significant difference; learning to trust their bodies rather than perform to a specific script changes everything. Many areas impact on our sex life and a lot of it is the lack of education. ‘I was very The problem with sex unhappy, terrified education is there is very little of it and it’s of sex and ashamed very fear based; how of my past sexual not to get pregnant experiences’ or catch STI’s rather than teaching young people about their bodies, pleasure, respect and communication. Add to this a lack of open discussion, the influence of porn and movies, past experiences, family beliefs and trauma and this is how people become sexually shut down. In a busy, stressful, challenging and exhausting society, people don’t allow themselves to relax and enjoy pleasure as there is no off switch.

This can have a massive impact on people’s sex lives as you may have experienced for yourself.

How does a sex coach help? My personal experience ‘I was in a very emotionally abusive relationship in my teenage years which left me with very little selfesteem, low body image numbed out with addictions through my 20s. Despite a successful corporate career, I was very unhappy, terrified of sex and ashamed of my past sexual experiences. I loathed my body and considered genital reconstruction. I knew I had to face this area and it was one of the scariest things that I ever did. But this transformed my life in an incredible way I never imagined which also led me to becoming a sex coach.’ My work is to support my clients (both individuals and couples) in overcoming sexual challenges and creating a fulfilling sex life through using a powerful mix of coaching, education and body-based practices. This is key to changing habits and removing limiting beliefs around yourself and sex. Sex coaching works in a variety of ways, using a non-pathologising, sex positive and holistic approach which includes the whole person and their lifestyle. Problems in other areas often needs addressing first.

Steps to sexual empowerment Take responsibility for your pleasure. We often look to another for this, but it is our responsibility. Get to know who you are as a sexual being and what you really desire, not who you think you should be. Just like anything, there is SO much to discover and explore. Take time to learn about your body and your pleasure. Your state of being- ie that you are relaxed, enjoying pleasure, connected to your body - is far more important than any technique. Focus on the pleasure not on the goal. Discover what is possible when you let go of the goal. Get some support to heal past experiences or current issues. We can learn many unhelpful sexual habits as we grow up which cause so many of the sexual problems, so getting support can really help. There is SO much to learn.

FILL YOUR MIND BEFORE YOU FILL YOUR PLATE Mindful Eating and Mindset

Ever found yourself working with a bag of crisps or chocolate on your desk, and when you next look down, they had suddenly disappeared?. Being so focused on whichever task was at hand, you’ve eaten whatever it was without even noticing or even tasting it! That’s mindLESS eating and I’d be lying if I said I’d never been in that situation, but it’s not a great feeling when you realise your food is gone and you’ve eaten without even thinking about it, let alone enjoying it. Adopting mindful eating practices can help you to lead a more consistent, healthy lifestyle. tice

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Mindful eating is about being truly aware of the foods you put into your body, and how you eat them and experience them. It’s about understanding the benefits of eating healthy foods and really using all your senses to truly enjoy nourishing food. It’s also how to understand your hunger and fullness levels.

Here’s a guide of how to practice eating mindfully and the benefits you can expect.

5. Put your fork down between bites. This is an excellent habit to support the chewing. The act of setting your fork down forces you to focus on chewing your food rather than letting yourself mindlessly pick at your food, preparing for your next bite. It encourages you to slow down and attend more to the taste of your food.

Start by practicing one step for a few days, and then try the next one. Eventually you can combine all steps 2-5 during a whole meal and experience being fully mindful while you eat:

6. Eat to satisfaction, not to stuffed! - This small step makes a HUGE difference. Try it for yourself! Eat to 80% fullness and avoid that uncomfortable feeling of having overeaten.

1. Grocery shopping. Believe it or not, mindful eating starts when you shop! It’s always best to shop when you are full (or somewhat full). The last thing you want to do is to food shop when you are hungry (or starving) because you will make unhealthy food decisions. Also, be aware of the aisles you enter. Focus on entering the aisles which display healthy options.

7. Eat with no distractions. Using our phones, watching TV or talking distracts us from our food. You may find yourself swallowing your food quicker too, so eat your food without any distractions so you can give your undivided attention to the way you eat and the experience.

2. Come to the table with an appetite - but not when very hungry. If you skip meals, you may be so eager to get anything in your stomach that your first priority is filling the void instead of enjoying your food. Try to eat regularly through the day so you look forward to and enjoy your meal.

8. Think before you eat. Before you reach for food, take a moment and really think about the food you are putting in your body. Why have I chosen this? Is it processed? How was it manufactured/grown? What are the ingredients? By being aware of what you put into your body, you make healthier food decisions.

3. Eat slower. It takes our brain 20 minutes to realise we are full. If you eat slow, you will feel full quicker, which allows you to consume less calories in your meal.

Mindful eating is healthy eating. By adopting mindful eating practices, you will be more aware of the food choices that enhance your health and well-being and better practiced at making these choices on a day by day, meal by meal basis.

4. Chew more. Ideally, it’s best to chew anywhere between 30-40 times before swallowing your food. Try to focus your attention on each bite and chew properly. Taste the food, experience the texture, notice how the food really feels. Your digestive system will thank you for this too!

Mindful eating will also accelerate you towards your wellbeing, health and body goals, enabling you to live a healthier and happier lifestyle.

Faisal Alshawa is a qualified nutritionist and fitness mentor and founder of Believe Nutrition. Based in Kuwait, he works with professional athletes and busy working professionals offline and online to help them to get in shape, lose weight and create sustainable daily habits to optimise their health. He is the creator of ‘The Five Pillars of Living’ - a Healthier Lifestyle method that focuses on mindfulness and mindset and approaching health mindfully. believenutrition.net

Jay Allen is a published author, combat veteran, motivational speaker and successful businessman. His provoking speeches predominantly concentrate on both personal and professional growth of businesses and their leaders and his personal story regarding Mental Health/ Mental Wealth, is inspiring to all. He is currently listed on the UK Power 100 (Smith and Williamson) as one of their top 100 recognised business influencers in the UK. jayallen.uk

IT’S OK TO NOT BE OK

he result of a demanding, fast-paced world, 24/7 media and technology has seen a demise in self-esteem and confidence and an increase in comparison and pressure. This takes a huge toll on mental wellbeing, connection with others and, ultimately, self-worth and mental and emotional stability.

That said, transition is rarely easy. Acknowledging the condition, getting the right diagnosis and treatment and managing treatment and recovery are significant enough to overcome. But overcoming lack of knowledge, understanding, consideration and tolerance is just as tough. I’m not ashamed of my PTSD and don’t shy away from it, but it invited rejection in many forms. But this rejection ultimately became my salvation as I transformed it into a determination to achieve in spite of the judgements. The process of change comes hand in hand with uncertainty, anxiety and fear, especially when managing your mental health alongside careers, businesses and relationships.

The offline world brings similar challenges resulting in the same trauma states. I served Queen and Country worldwide for over 12 years in the British Army as an Advanced Trauma Medic until a series of traumatic incidents saw me medically retired diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

Managing fear

Did I feel fear as I was recovering and building my business? Easier to ask PTSD is often a ‘slow onset’ condition usually when didn’t I?. But I was determined to move forward to achieve. Fear can caused by a build-up of multiple incidents/ be incredibly debilitating but there is a skill that has helped me (and still scenarios which culminate in ‘break point’. A does) to overcome the fear: using perspective. painful and surreal visit to my GP and being When facing fear, anxiety or overwhelm, we lock our sectioned under the Mental Health Act (for thoughts onto the severity and immediacy of the problem, my own protection) was my break point. It’s ok to say unable to see all the other difficult situations we have ‘I’m not ok’. Just The factors that combined for me were childhood faced and overcome. trauma, exposure to mass graves in Bosnia, money make sure you Whenever faced with something which challenges concerns and a separation from my wife. These say it out loud, my comfort zone, I measure my fear and ask myself resulted in me becoming a ‘functioning alcoholic’ for let others support - ‘Where does this sit in comparison with everything over a year before I asked for help. you and know else I’ve ever faced and overcome?’ The biggest difficulty to overcome was my pride as an that you are not If you have done it once, you can do it again. adult male, a husband, father and soldier. These roles defined by it. Alongside my businesses, being a Mental Health and all demanded something of me. I felt I was failing. I was Suicide Prevention First Aider has helped me to help others angry and blamed the world and everything in it. find a safe space of calm. This can mean whatever you need it to During my hospitalisation, it became evident it was up to me to mean to benefit your headspace. do the work to get back out. That involved accepting the things that had Our roles as coaches and as humans is to acknowledge, understand and caused my trauma, learning coping mechanisms to acknowledge they had empathise with those we have the privilege to live and work with; to help happened and to disassociate feelings or emotions attached to them. them with their challenges to move forward as the person they are, in their This was slow work; but fast forward and I’m now an award-winning uniqueness. international keynote speaker, published author, coach and entrepreneur with my own coaching and consultancy company.

WRITING A BOOK… IS IT REALLY WORTH IT?

ore and more coaches are seeing the value in writing a book. I’m sure that some featured in this issue of COACH also have a book to their name.

research your topic, and review your client successes, you’ll probably find gems you didn’t realise you had. When you create the framework or signature system for your book as part of the writing process, this will probably form the foundation for what you do, such as products, programmes and talks. This brings everything you do together into a neat little package that is easier to promote and sell. As you find your voice, your confidence will grow, and this belief will radiate through the work you do. Not only through your book but also through your message, other marketing activities and how you show up in the world, even before your book is published. This clarity in your message will impact on everything from your elevator pitch to the copy on your website. You’ll get clearer on the answer to the question I love to ask people - what do you want to get known for? What you learn about yourself when writing a book is priceless, and as much as it’s an amazing feeling when you have your book in your hand, the growth you go through will be life changing. Not only will you become a published author, you’ll have a deep-down authority that you may never have realised you had. So, I hope you can see how writing a book is worth it for you! 45 minute book Karen shares 10 principles for consultation for writing a book that will build your COACH readers. business, enhance your brand Email: karen@ and get you noticed. Listen at librotas.com becominganauthority.co.uk.

It’s no secret that a great book will raise your credibility and expert status. When you firmly position yourself as an authority, you’ll attract new opportunities and it will open doors for you; the more people who hear your message, the bigger the impact you can make. But in the 10 years since I wrote and published my first book, things have changed hugely. It’s become easier than ever to get published and there lots of other people with the same idea. It also can’t be denied that writing a book takes time, investment and commitment, so even if a book is on your agenda for 2020, you might be wondering if it’s really worth it? As a book mentor, it may surprise you when I say that writing a book isn’t for everyone. But for many it is a great vehicle to share their wisdom. Over the last six years, I’ve seen clients achieve some amazing successes from writing a book, many of them unexpected.

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A transformational journey In my view, writing a book is so much more than having a book in your hand with your name on it. To get to that end goal, you will undoubtedly go on a transformational journey. When you write a book, you will get to know yourself on a much deeper level. You may well be delving into the past, reflecting on your personal journey. You will probably feel uncomfortable as you work on yourself alongside the process of writing it, but this will result in huge growth in your own understanding and knowledge. I find that many clients are surprised by the value in what they know. When you reflect on your processes and knowledge,

Karen Williams is The Book Mentor, founder of Librotas and helps business experts to become an authority in their business through writing and publishing a book.

She recently published her sixth book, Becoming An Authority. She is a TEDx speaker, bestselling author, and runs transformational writing retreats in Spain. librotas.com

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Change your Thinking with CBT Dr. Sarah Edelman

The Coach’s Survival Guide Kim Morgan

The Code of the Extraordinary mind Vishen Lakhiani

Overcome Stress, Combat Anxiety and Improve Your Life.

For new coaches in a freelance or selfemployed role and trainers of coaches.

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On Becoming a Person Carl R. Rogers

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The Fitness Mindset Brian Keane

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Get the body you’ve always dreamed of, ramp your energy levels through the roof and develop the mindset to keep it forever.

Discovering the path to personal growth through an understanding of their own limitations and potential.

Do It Scared Ruth Soukup Finding the courage to face your fears, overcome adversity, and create a life you love hardcover.

Trillion Dollar Coach Eric Schmidt, Jonathan Rosenberg & Alan Eagle Management lessons from legendary coach and business executive, Bill Campbell.

PODCASTS

Happy Place Fearne Cotton

How I Built This Guy Raz

Delve into mindfulness and what happiness means to different people. In intimate conversations, the podcast is a uniting, positive force that we could all do with a bit more of.

Ever wondered how some of the world’s biggest brands got their start? From Five Guys to Instagram, innovators share the stories behind building their brands.

Mental Illness Happy Hour Paul Gilmartin

The Mindset Mentor Rob Dial

The Rich Roll Podcast Rich Roll

Paul and his guests talk about their fears, addictions and traumatic childhoods.” - Psychology Today “A vital, compassionate gem that fills a desperate and underaddressed need in our society.”

Short, no BS podcast episodes designed for the businessperson, salesperson, entrepreneur, small business owner or typical human that needs motivation from time to time.

Delving deep with the world’s most thoughtprovoking thought leaders to educate, inspire and empower you to unleash your best, most authentic self.

The Ultimate Health Podcast Dr Jesse Chappus & Marni Wasserman Taking your health to the next level. Guest interviews with worldclass experts in the health & wellness community.

BUSINESS

YO U R G U I D E TO P R O F E S S I O N A L C O A C H E S , M E N TO R S , C O N S U L TA N TS & T H E R A P I STS .

Teresa Brooks

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John Thompson

Alison Coates

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Karen Kissane

Sam V Colclough

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Steve Payne

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Kirsty Carden

Ruth Kudzi

Chanelle Segerius-Bruce

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Mindset & Business Coach & NLP Master

Kevin George

Gary Das

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Michelle Yeoman

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Richard Tyler

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C L I C K H E R E TO L I ST Y O U R B U S I N E S S I N T H E D I R E C TO RY.

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Keith West

Claire Brumby

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Helena Holrick

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LIFE

Career Transformation Coach

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Sarah Rose Bright

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Beth Hope Executive Confidence Coach Building authentic confidence for a successful life & career. andhope.co.uk beth@andhope.co.uk

Business Coach

Helping product-based businesses, their owners and teams to grow successfully. hello@clairebrumby.com clairebrumby.com

Holly Matthews

Jaimie Sarah

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Michael Lauria

Kate Southerby Executive coach Helping you achieve your highest potential by coaching with the brain in mind. Kate@iammecoaching.com iammecoaching.com

Joanna Ellis

Jess Nicks

Counsellor, Menâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Mentor and Relationship Guide

NLP Master Practitioner and Certified NLP trainer

Life Coach & NLP Master Practitioner

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Issy Harvey

Simon Alexander Ong

Self-Development Mentor & NLP Practitioner

Natalie King

Sarah Ilaria Northe

Personal Development & Change Coach

Life Coach & Business Strategist

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Workshops, training and team development.

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WELLNESS

Julie New

Evelyn Kaluza

Angela Qionones Corsini

Body Acceptance & Transformational Life Coach for Chronic Illness

julie@julienew.co.uk

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Wellbeing workshops for corporates and individuals. Helping you to manage stress and reconnect.

Helping you to accept, embrace and love the changes in your body to live a better and happier life.

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wellnessforsuccess.com

angelacorsinicoaching.com

Helping you to recover from difficult times and to thrive not just survive.

Faisal Alshawa

Modern Man Coach, NLP Master Coach, Hypnotherapist

Lucy Power

David Kaufman

Performance Nutritionist

Therapeutic Success Coach & Psychotherapist

Helping people live a healthier and happier lifestyle.

Helping you to recognise, understand and resolve your blocks to success.

Explore your mind and body and discover your true potential.

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Kelly Tyler

Jay Allen

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Minnie von Mallinckrodt-Grant

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jayallen.co.uk

THERAPISTS

Founder & Consultant at Speaker INsight

Adele-Marie Hartshorn Clinical Hypnotherapist NLP Master Practitioner & Speaker Anxiety Release Method Practitioner training for coaches & therapists. adele-marie.co.uk

TEDx speaker Coach, Business & Marketing Strategist

MENTORS & CONSULTANTS

Executive Wellness Coach and Mindfulness Expert

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Robert Terry Helping Entrepreneurs build bigger and better business thehumbleentrepreneur.co.uk robert@thehumbleentrepreneur.o.uk

Croz Crossley Mindset Master for Business & Personal Growth

Mark Henderson Personal & Business Brand Creator

for life & business.

Helping coaches & entrepreneurs elevate their business through powerful brand design.

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redcrabcreative.com

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Bonita Ackerman du Preez

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Helping you to manage Toxic Relationships & overcome personal blocks to Success.

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Bemoore.uk

Anxiety & Stress Management Therapist and Coach Specialising in the treatment of trauma, PTSD, anxiety, stress, fears and phobias. future-edgecoaching.co.uk

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