The Family You Make by Scott Dunn
I do not believe I am alone in this sentiment when I say, “Your family is what you make of it.” What I mean by that statement comes directly from my upbringing. The reason I call someone by a title like “aunt” or “uncle” is complicated. I grew up lucky enough to have four sets of grandparents. Some I sort of knew and others I knew very well. I have a large family by blood, so not uncommon where I am from. Yet, the grandparents I knew the most. The ones whose home I lived in for several years as a child, the ones I call my Nan and my Pop, were not my grandparents at all. When I think of a “man” I think of my dad or Poppy. They are my heroes, and so that special bit of awe will always linger in my heart. I went to work with them, they were both doers and worked long hours to support their families. With all of that said, they were not my grandparents in any lineage or legal sense. They were technically my great-aunt and great-uncle, but they raised my mother. So, they are my grandparents and always will be. Neither is here now, and I miss them something fierce whenever I discuss them. Aside from my parents, they are the most impactful people I have had in my life. Even now, after marrying Bethany, I feel like I have gained a new grandmother. Her Nana has always been fond of me and told me I was handsome and all those things a guy likes to hear, of course. So, I have adopted her in that place in my heart, even if she does not know that. 24 | M AG A Z I N E N A M E PAGE 3 23
I have never seen the family as only those of a bloodline and I feel that a large part of that comes from the complications of being a child from a split marriage who was taken in by a man and raised as his son with no thought that I was anything but his actual progeny. I am repeating those same things now. I am married; I have two children that are not biologically mine, but I get told so often how much they look like me and I get a Cheshire cat sized grin on my face every time I hear that! Family is very much what you make of it for me. Even more so, as I have grown in my walk with Christ, the definition of the family seems to expand beyond measure. It forces one to evaluate the idea that you only have so much love to give. Can you imagine a world where God said, “Well, I’m all out of love, what am I going to do with these souls here?” I am quite sure I want to be on the good end of that equation! Not only that, but there is an inherent danger in this thinking of a family that is only of a bloodline. It leads to cultural tribalism and caste systems that the world struggles with still. The tribes of Israel are a great example of how these 12 tribes, considered the chosen, and all even in God’s heart, fought one another. You can find an example of that in Judges 20:1-46.
