Romance Shines into the Sunset of their Lives
One of the most popular romantic comedy movies of all time is Rob Reiner’s When Harry Met Sally. It is particularly noteworthy for one unforgettable scene set in a deli where Harry (Billy Crystal) brags to Sally (Meg Ryan) of his prowess in the bedroom, assuring her that he has left a legacy of satisfied females. In response, Sally feigns a moment of unbridled erotic bliss, proving her point in no uncertain terms.
In Their Own Words
But despite the film’s snappy dialogue, and leading players’ chemistry, the part that touched me most was the series of cutaway scenes featuring seasoned married couples, strewn throughout the piece. Each couple was cuter than the last, as they spoke of the road they’d traveled together as husbands and wives married for multiple decades.
"Married people have to love one another unselfishly, keep doing for each other. And you have to like one another." ~ Louis Goldberg
Perhaps even sweeter still is the number of real-life couples who, after 50-80 years of marriage, are still enamored of their sweethearts. Many a veteran twosome has been plied for their “secret” to matrimonial harmony. And while each pair is as unique and individual as their storied romance, there are definite similarities in their approach and advice.
"For those about to get married — Do not over romanticize. Marriage is not the panacea. Marriage probably will not be problem-free. Rather, be problem-aware. If and when problems appear, work them through. Sometimes these are easy, other times difficult." ~ Arthur Cohen
By and large they tended to stress things like friendship, kindness, compromise, support of each other’s interests, shared views, time together, time apart, unselfishness, mutual respect and the importance of commitment to staying together, not to mention the proverbial truism, “Don’t go to bed angry.” -45-
Here are some pearls of wisdom from couples married 50 years or longer, excerpted from Everlasting Matrimony "Your partner is not a mind reader. Say what’s on your mind." ~ Gilda Gittleman "Physical closeness is important; intimacy is important, sharing a bed. And couples need to take time out to do something for themselves. I believe in life together, but you need some time to yourself, too." ~ Fleurette Kurtzman
"We both have a sense of humor, and that’s what gets us through. You’re doomed without it." ~ Louise Fradkin "Trust is most essential to a successful marriage. I always felt that my husband was honest and reliable." ~ Helen Bronson
"Don't discuss sensitive subjects before dinner—eat first." ~ Renee Flager
