Rochester Woman Online Mar/Apr 2023

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COVER STORY

Sayeh Rivazfar

LONGEVITY

Lisa Ireland

SHE HUSTLES TALKS

Roneika Burns

22 42 112 146

WALKING WARRIOR Tabitha

A CONTEMPORARY EVENT

1900 EMPIRE BLVD #630, WEBSTER, NY 14580

AND PERFORMANCE VENUE

Our latest cover woman is nothing short of the definition of strength, empowerment and survival. Sayeh Rivazfar is not only a vetern NYS police office and invesigator, but a true fighter. We had the pleasure of interviewing Sayeh and talking not only about how her past lead to where she is today, but her amazing family, and her future as the lead investigator for the Bivona Child Advocacy Center here in Rochester NY. Read all about her starting on page [22].

PLUS, you won’t want to miss meeting Mr Rochester, Chuck Valente, our feature on Homesteads for Hope, and our She Hustles Talks women entrepreneur feature on Roneika Burns.

Did you know Rochester Woman is so much more then just an online publication? We host events, provide branding and marketing for clients, do LIVE video showcases and more. We are all about providing our community of women everything they need to be successful! Join us April 22nd from 11am-5pm at Evento-East in Webster NY as we host over 45+ incredible women leaders and speakers for The Influential Woman Expo. FREE TO ATTEND.

Know someone who would be perfect for a cover, a feature or a highlight? Do you have a business that is you want tot promote to an audience of over 100k? CONTACT ME TODAY at networkrocqueen@gmail.com.

Kelly

ON OUR COVER

For our March/April 2023 cover, we have Sayeh Rivazfar photographed by her sister, Makenna Rivazfar at the Bivona Child Advocacy Center in Rochester, NY.

“Just because I can’t control what life throws at me, doesn’t mean I can’t control how I handle it.”

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PUBLISHER

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LEAD PHOTOGRAPHER PHOTOGRAPHY

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

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Kelly Breuer

Makenna Rivazfar

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Julie Oldfield

Lisa Ireland

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Chuck Valente

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Network Rochester

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Rochester Woman ONLINE is the premier professional woman’s online publication in the Greater Rochester area. Our feature articles address major topics that interest local women. Each issue includes articles on health, fashion, fitness, finance, dining, lifestyle and personal perspectives, as well as a spotlight on local area women. The electronic magazines are distributed freely through your favorite app store and will be in your inbox electronically by the first week of every month. The publication is available free of charge. Please feel free to contact publisher Kelly Breuer at 585.727.9120 or you can email us at networkrocqueen@gmail.com. Download our current media kit at www.rochesterwomanonline.com

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'23

5K & 10K Races, Dog Walk & Pet Fest In Person & OVirtual ptions

Saturday, June 3rd, 2023

Rochester Animal Services, 184 Verona St.

Run in the 5K (8:15am) or 10K (8am) in person, or virtually

Attend the pet festival filled with live music, food vendors, contests, vendors and pets!

Get your pet vaccinated at the FREE Clinic

Bid on items in the silent auction

Walk your dog in the dog walk (11am) and see available pets for adoption

THERE IS SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE!

Support pets in Need

register register Here Here

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

SAYEH RIVAZFAR

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

A survivor and a ‘fighter,’ our latest cover woman for Rochester Woman Online is the oldest of six children, has been employed with the New York State Police since 2003, promoted to Investigator in 2016, and has been a board member of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children since 1996.

Sayeh’s story of survival as a young girl has been publicized throughout the media when on September 22, 1988, Sayeh, then age 8 and her sister Sara, age 6, were kidnapped from their home during the late night by a man known as Raymond Warfield Wike, one of their mother’s boyfriends. She survived the brutal attack, identified the man who had committed these horrific crimes, and because of her experience began a journey of becoming the voice for other victims.

Rochester Woman is truly honored to be able to talk with Sayeh about her truly incredible journey, her amazing career in law enforcement and advocating for victims, her beautiful family and so much more. She is the true definition of inspiration and empowerment and we are honored that she is sharing with us her her greater purpose and what has led her to where she is today.

Tell us a little about yourself. Who is Sayeh Rivazfar in 2023?

PHOTOS BY MAKENNA RIVAZFAR

I am a 43-year-old momma to an amazing 11 year old boy, wife to my best friend, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, a 19 year veteran with the New York State Police, survivor of trauma, and a strong voice for crime victims of abuse.

Tell us about growing up as the oldest of 7 kids and what that dynamic was like.

parts of their young lives, but was a safe place for them. Having a large family gave me purpose. I had to lead by example. I believe I’m a better person for it and wouldn’t want it any other way.

What lead you to join the NYS Police force, and then to becoming an investigator?

The dynamic of growing up the oldest of seven kids was often chaotic to say the least. I was a mom/sister to them all. I often had no privacy, no one really did. I shared almost everything I had with them then i went off to college. The difference in age from me to the youngest is almost 20 years apart, 10 years from the second youngest, then it’s eight years, seven years, four years, and lastly two years difference. I missed

As a young child, I was faced with making decisions no child should every have to endure. Unfortunately, there were more adults in my life as a child who stood aside and watched while others in uniform became my hero taking away the monsters in our lives. I wanted to be like those in uniform and stop the monsters from hurting the innocence in this world, our children. I wanted to have the biggest positive impact and what better way to do that then join the state’s largest police force. Becoming an investigator was my true calling with the State Police because I was able to use my training and experience to help investigate the cases that involved children.

You have been involved with the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children since 1996. What lead to this involvement? Our family went through an interstate custody battle because my mother filed for custody in the state of Florida. It

the decision to speak to the media to have our voices be heard. Many people came to our aid, including, but not limited to the community, local politicians, and agencies like the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC). Since then, my father and I became very involved with giving back to our community through helping the NCMEC with victim’s, their families, speaking at their events.

Can you tell us a little bit about

on behalf of victims everywhere, and becoming involved with the Bivona Child Advocacy Center locally?

I am a thriver of all sorts of childhood trauma, domestic violence, sex abuse, rape, kidnapping, and murder to name a few. I knew what happened to my siblings and I was a grave injustice, and we were failed by so many in our lives. The Bivona Child Advocacy Center (BCAC) is a place I wanted to be apart of because it’s a place that would provide the most help and support a family would need going through such trauma

unlike my family did. The BCAC provides forensic interviewing, family advocates, mental health services, medical examinations, and much more than one can think of to help these families through some of the worst times of their lives. It’s truly great work from people who are very passionate and devoted to helping these victims.

How did she emotionally and mentally learn to get thru the ordeal of your childhood? Therapy? Faith?

My brother and I eventually moved with our father, who lived in Rochester,

“Unfortunately, there were more adults in my life as a child who stood aside and watched while others in uniform became my hero taking away the monsters in our lives.”

43-year-old MOMMA to an amazing 11 year old boy, wife to my best friend, daughter, SISTER, aunt, friend, a 19 year veteran with the New York State Police, SURVIVOR of trauma, and a strong voice for crime victims of abuse.”

“

I am a

New York, with his wife at the time and our other siblings. We felt safe being away from where everything happened. I had the mentality of never wanting to let our monster get away with what he did to my sister and me. I also received so much trauma therapy and support, that without it, I’m not sure where I would be today. If you want to know more about the case, please look up People vs. Warfield Raymond Wike in 1988.

Being an investigator, can you tell us what are signs that people can look for that neighborhood children may be being abused or are in dangerous situations?

Some signs or red flags that may occur if children are being abused that you should pay attention to are a change in their behavior, if they are surrounded by domestic violence, drug or alcohol abuse, physical signs, such as wetting themselves if they’ve been potty trained for some time,

asking questions related to sex that aren’t age appropriate, and children being singled out and taken from everyone else often by the same adult. Sadly, our children are being lured over social media apps too. Please be highly diligent and supervise them as much as you can. Educate them. They need to know if they take pictures and videos without their clothes on, these monsters will share them with others, and it could affect their future. Make sure they know

“The most important first step to healing is acknowledging that you are a survivor and aren’t alone. You deserve happiness.”

about correct names of their body parts, and ok and not ok touches. Knowledge is power.

What about those who have gone thru something like that but have never shared it: what’s the first step to healing and processing that they might want to consider?

The most important first step to healing is acknowledging that you are a survivor and aren’t alone. You deserve happiness. Find your support system and understand your trauma doesn’t have to define you. It’s ok not to be ok. You will have good days and bad days, but as long as you value life and want to make a difference whether it’s for the children that surround you in our family or other children that need someone to be their hero. Find healthy coping mechanisms and get help when you need it. Warriors are warriors because they have fallen and rise again to fight another day!

Tell us a little about what it is like to be an investigator. What are your favorite and worst parts?

Being an Investigator is the most rewarding position on this job other than being a uniform Trooper. Investigators work on the worst and most dangerous cases, using our expertise and experience to solve

them. The worst parts about being an Investigator would be the paperwork you have to complete to support your case and then it all depends on the judicial system to ultimately serve justice.

What is the most rewarding part of your work with the Bivona Child Advocacy Center?

The most rewarding part of my work with the Bivona Child Advocacy

at the BCAC. We have an amazing team of people we get to work with, and we all have a common goal, do what’s best for the child.

Can you share a little about how you balance work and family, having such an intense job and then having a beautiful wife and son at home? Balancing work and family life can sometimes be tricky. It would be an absolute miracle if work didn’t leak into my family life. However, I have a wife who loves and supports me, and a son that understands my job keeps kids safe. We enjoy traveling together and selfcare is a priority.

What makes you the happiest?

Center (BCAC) would be helping the children and their families. Providing them hope, support, and sometimes a little justice will go a long way. Knowing you are some kid and their family’s hero because you did your job well. It’s not always about the arrest at the BCAC, it’s about how this child and their family learn to live their life putting this horrible event behind them and live life to its fullest despite their trauma. This job can’t be done without the team

What makes me the happiest, is knowing my family are safe and healthy. I would be perfectly happy if I was unemployed because everyone in this world would be safe and didn’t need the police. Sadly, that will never be the case.

Who is one person who has inspired you and why?

I believe my sister Sara has inspired me the most. In her short life of almost seven years she lived, she gave me strength to fight for what’s right. She stood up for what she wanted and told people how she felt without reservation. I think of her often and

“The most rewarding part of my work with the Bivona Child Advocacy Center (BCAC) would be helping the children and their families. Providing them hope, support, and sometimes a little justice will go a long way.”

know she’s looking over me as my guardian angel.

Many call you a survivor, and a true inspiration. Has that fueled you become who you are today and working with others that have gone through similar experiences?

I will always be fueled by those who feel the inspiration and positive impact of my message. The moment it’s lost, I will know it’s time to stop sharing my message and move on.

What made you settle in Rochester, NY?

My father moved to Rochester, NY, when he met his second wife, and she was from here. When my father won custody of my brother and I, we moved up with them. I haven’t left

yet because once I graduated high school, I went on to college at SUNY Fredonia, and then shortly after I graduated college, I was accepted into the New York State Police.

What do you think are the most important qualities of a successful woman leader especially in a male dominated field?

The most important qualities of a successful woman leader in a male dominated field would be having confidence in your work, knowing your self-worth, and being a team player!

What has been your most memorable experience to date personal and professional?

Personally, I would say becoming a

mother at 32 was the most memorable experience to date. It was a difficult pregnancy; however, I would do it all over again for my son! Also, I must mention that it took my years to find it, but I found the most unexpected love of my life in my wife, Kelly. Now, professionally, I would say receiving the Young Professional Athena Award in 2017 would be validation that my mission is a positive impact on others and that can only give you hope that your legacy will never die.

What are three words you would use to describe yourself and why? Team player, determined, and passionate. As a young athlete of team sports, I learned you win and lose as a team. As a mother, I’ve learned it takes a village to raise a

“The Bivona Child Advocacy Center (BCAC) is a place I wanted to be apart of because it’s a place that would provide the most help and support a family would need going through such trauma unlike my family did.”

child. And in my career, I’ve learned you will be more successful working well with a team. I describe myself as determined because all my life giving up was never an option. I wouldn’t be where I am today if I wasn’t determined to keep fighting. And lastly, I am very passionate about my family, friends, and work. Those who know me, understand if I’m involved, it’s all or nothing. I believe in hope and love, striving for it every day is important to me!

Who have been some of your biggest supporters throughout your career?

Some of my biggest supports throughout my career would be my wife, kids, family, friends, coworkers, and even the community. I consider myself blessed because I’ve been supported most of my adult life.

How do you deal with difficult situations or people?

Honestly, I put difficult situations and people in perspective. I ask myself, have I dealt with worse? Yes, yes, I have. Therefore, the difficult situations and people aren’t really that difficult anymore.

Tell us something most people don’t know about Sayeh Rivazfar.

As my wife would say, I’m a marshmallow, a softy. You wouldn’t know that by my tough exterior, however, I’m the most loving, caring, sensitive, and romantic person you’ll meet. I have days that I still struggle. Being a strong person, doesn’t mean you don’t have bad days, and that’s ok.

How do you feel you inspire others, aside from the obvious?

I would say I believe I inspire others to look deeper into their lives and understand you are only given one chance at life. You aren’t promised tomorrow, so do and live your best each day you are given. Change or even save a life by caring and wanting to make a positive difference.

How do you continue to learn and expand your knowledge?

I enjoy learning and gaining more knowledge by attending trainings and participating in conferences. Times are changing and you must keep up on what’s new and important to our future generations to come. I learn a lot from the kids. They will keep you on your toes.

Is there anything that you thought was impossible before, but were eventually able to achieve? If so, how did you make it happen?

I don’t feel like anything is impossible if you put your mind to it and never give up. The power of positive thinking is how I live my life. Keep hope alive by understanding you can survive, you can fight, and thrive.

What are some of the tactics you use to maintain a positive attitude, especially with everything you have been through?

I keep negative people and situations at bay. I have healthy coping mechanisms, such as excising, sports, watching movies, listening to music, a little shopping, traveling to warm places, and any time I can spend with my

wife, son, family, and friends.

What would you say are your personal values? How do these values influence the way you live and work?

I would say one of my personal values that influences my life would be when someone makes me feel less valued, they don’t deserve you in their life. Live for today and leave those behind who don’t lift you up!

What are some of the biggest challenges you’ve faced in your career?

I would say my biggest challenges in my career were turning my brain off when I left work. I also found it difficult missing family events, holidays, and monumental moments with my son. You dedicate your life to this career and wont ever get the time back, make it worth it.

What do you have planned next?

I’m retiring from the New York State Police in December of this year, it will be 20 years. I want to enjoy more family time and travel the world to spread my message. There is hope and I am living proof that not only can you survive but thrive!

“I will always be fueled by those who feel the inspiration and positive impact of my message. The moment it’s lost, I will know it’s time to stop sharing my message and move on.”

LISA IRELAND OF LONGEVITY

PHOTOS BY

Please tell us about yourself and your role with Longevity Science Foundation.

My name is Lisa Ireland, and I serve as the Longevity Science Foundation’s President and CEO.

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

I lead the Foundation’s global operations and oversee its board and other staff. Before joining the LSF, I worked in several different sectors, including education, healthcare, human services and science. My previous roles include Vice President for Institutional Advancement at the RMSC (Rochester Museum & Science Center) and Director of Donor Relations and Stewardship at RIT (Rochester Institute of Technology), where I led key initiatives to strengthen donor relationships through improved engagement, recognition, and stewardship programs. I was also Executive Director of United Way of Orleans, overseeing all aspects of the organization and its 25 programs.

What is the Longevity Science Foundation? What is the mission behind the foundation?

The Longevity Science Foundation is a global nonprofit that provides funding for early-stage research projects to extend the healthy human lifespan. Our mission is to extend the healthy human lifespan by making longevity care accessible to everyone and bringing cutting-edge science on aging out of laboratory and into the mainstream We bring longevity science supporters, researchers, and visionaries together to advance the field and support game-changing research development.

Where was the LSF started, and when did it come to the US?

The LSF was established in Switzerland in 2021 by a team of longevity founders and investors. The founding team recognized the lack of funding available for early-stage research and lack of transparency in existing funding organizations. They founded the LSF to provide grant funding for projects too early in development to attract venture capital or other traditional business investments.

and more vibrant life. Twenty-five years ago, in the scientific world, new research on genomics led to the discovery that aging is a biological process. This led to an uptick in longevity projects, and now some of these findings are gaining significant traction and reaching human trial stages. The next five years will be transformative for the field, with the first treatments reaching patients and longevity science becoming a household concept.

What does it mean to be a global nonprofit organization?

In the years that followed, the Foundation has expanded internationally, with a global headquarters and 501(c)(3) status in the United States. We formally announced my appointment and the opening of the Miami headquarters in October 2022.

Tell us about the concept of Longevity and how it began.

The desire to live longer has existed throughout history. From folklore accounts of a philosopher’s stone granting immortality to the latest superfood diet, society has always been captivated by the idea of a longer

As a global nonprofit, we support longevity research worldwide. Our funding is not restricted to a single geographic area. We know that international research institutes have different and exciting approaches to the sector, which is why we do not take location into consideration during the funding evaluation process.

Besides the international nature of our funding, we are firm believers in the power of borderless collaboration to support a longer and healthier lifespan. This month, we are joining King’s College London and Oxford University for two longevity events that celebrate our new partnership with King’s. We have board members from around the world and aim to speak at global conferences to share the longevity call.

“The Longevity Science Foundation is a global nonprofit that provides funding for earlystage research projects to extend the healthy human lifespan.”

Tell us about the vision of Longevity Sciences and how it relates to extended a healthier human lifespan. We envision a future where longevity care is accessible to all. Much of current longevity research is funded by the planet’s billionaires because they are eager to extend their lives to enjoy their wealth and have the resources to do so. We are working to ensure these findings are not limited to the world’s wealthiest. Everyone deserves more healthy years with their loved ones.

What is some of the cutting-edge research LSF is currently working on and what are the implications for the mainstream?

We have issued two funding calls so far, one on aging clocks and the

other on psychedelic mental health treatments. Aging clocks are ways to measure biological aging in individuals. We’re seeing the foundations of these breakthroughs in smart watches and other wearable devices, which provide feedback on our activity levels and well-being. In the future, these might be able to share a regularly updated “biological age.” Aging clocks are also helpful for scientists as they provide a way to measure how treatments affect the aging process in individuals. They can easily see how a person responds to different medicines or lifestyle changes.

Our second funding call, which is still open, focuses on psychedelics. These compounds have come a long way since their recreational

use in the 60s, today, they are providing life-changing treatments to patients diagnosed with mental health conditions like depression and PTSD. The LSF is focusing on psychedelic applications that will unlock a greater understanding of aging in the brain and neurological conditions like Alzheimer’s Disease.

What do you feel has been the biggest success of LSF and also the biggest hurdle to overcome?

One of our greatest successes has been building our reputation and platform in a short time. We are one of the leading nonprofit organizations in the longevity research space. Thanks to the work of our incredible Visionary Board, the word has spread quickly about our work, and we have received

“Our mission is to extend the healthy human lifespan by making longevity care accessible to everyone and bringing cutting-edge science on aging out of laboratory and into the mainstream.”

“One of our greatest successes has been building our reputation and platform in a short time. We are one of the leading nonprofit organizations in the longevity research space.”

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

some fascinating research proposals. As a pioneer in the space, it is one of our top priorities to convene the global leaders in longevity, including researchers, physicians, nonprofit experts, startup founders and investors. By building a place for these stakeholders to connect, we are proud to advance the field and make it more accessible.

One hurdle we’re facing is the rapid acceleration of human longevity research. There are so many projects across different areas, and we want to make sure we’re sharing these highlights with the world. It’s a good hurdle to have, as it means the field is primed for transformative discoveries in the future.

What does concept-to-practice mean in longevity?

Turning ideas to reality is what I think is the best way to describe this but am open to other thoughts. In longevity, concept-to-practice can be understood as turning an idea from a laboratory into a reality for humans. A lot of longevity research can get “stuck” in its early stages due to a lack of available funding. We bridge that gap by offering grants to encourage research to reach clinical trial stages as quickly and safely as possible.

Are you mainly seeing men or women being a key demographic audience for LSF?

Because we are so focused on accessibility, we’re seeing positive responses from both men and women. Longevity encompasses diseases that affect everyone, as well as gender-specific health concerns like cancers of the reproductive system.

Lisa, what made you become involved and so interested in longevity?

I was thrilled to have been recruited to lead the organization because it was an opportunity for me to support the longevity field with my background in nonprofits, science, education and philanthropy. The field of longevity is incredibly important to me, as I have family members who could have lived longer and healthier lives if the science related to aging was available. At the end of the day, longevity is a matter of getting to spend more healthy years with our loved ones. I relate strongly to this, and a lot of others do as well.

What is the biggest myth behind longevity itself? How do you plan on educated people about this?

A lot of people think longevity will be achieved with a single pill that magically adds years to our lives. In reality, longevity protocols will include better diagnostics, lifestyle choices and medicines. By funding different aspects of anti-aging, like aging clocks and mental health, we are showing the world the breadth of the field.

Another misconception is that longevity treatments will only be available to the wealthy and well-connected. Part of our mission is making longevity treatments accessible for all. We evaluate their projects for their potential impact and ability to reach patients from all backgrounds.

What is the vision for 3 years and 5 years from now?

In both the short and long term, we’re focused on scaling our funding to support more longevity research in different areas. Part of this will be building our

global community to include more individuals, academic institutions and thought leaders from the longevity field and beyond. We are dedicated to developing our leadership role to host critical conversations on the future of our lifespans.

So research says, Exercising regularly, adopting a healthful diet, not smoking, not becoming overweight, and drinking only moderate amounts of alcohol could all lengthen life at age 50 for women by 14 years and for men by 12 years. Do you find in your research this to be true?

These are useful tips for anyone, whether their goal is to live longer or improve their health right now. New research is being published every day, and it’s really important to stay informed on the little things you can do to support your health.

How does lifestyle affect longevity?

There is a lot of research on the relationship between lifestyle and longevity, including diet, activity, stress and more. Lifestyle choices depend a lot on your personal medical history, and we always recommend consulting with your physician before making any major changes.

Where can we see LSF next?

We were just in London for two events with the University of Oxford and King’s College London. We’ll be speaking at the 10th annual ARDD conference, one of the biggest longevity gatherings, in Copenhagen this summer.

“Reject the diet mentality. Restricting doesn’t work.” YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“ We bring LONGEVITY science supporters, researchers, and VISIONARIES together to advance the field and support gamechanging research DEVELOPMENT. ”

INTERVIEW WITH CHUCK VALENTE

Please give a warm Rochester Woman welcome to the man voted Mr Rochester, Chuck Valente. . A fiercly dedicated man with over 28 years in the personal training business, a pro body builder, business owner, husband, father and well, the list goes on. I’m lucky to call him a friend and am excited to showcase him as our latest Influential Man.

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

MR. ROCHESTER CHUCK VALENTE

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

BY CHRISTINE PIACENTINO I MAIN PHOTOS BY MAKENNA RIVASFAR PHOTOGRPAHY

Tell us a little about Chuck Valente, and give us your background.

Personal Fitness training and bodybuilding are my passions. I started working in a gym when I was 14, which led me to start my first training business at 18. I have over 30 years of experience as an individual champion bodybuilder at a national level and decorated coach; I have won over 20 titles and been featured in publications such as Men’s Physique, National Bodybuilding Magazine, and Exercise For Men, & more. I pride myself on providing my clients with incredible knowledge in both the nutrition and training world. I have developed a master craft skillset regarding women’s health and nutrition, providing a personalized and supportive approach and the accountability and education needed.

You recently won, Mr. Rochester. What was that experience like?

It was surreal to win the prestigious Mr. Rochester title. I picked up bodybuilding again after 25 years. I was thrilled to have made this comeback and picked up where I left off 25 years ago. I was so excited to beat out younger guys for the title. This win qualified me for the prestigious International Fitness and Bodybuilding Federation (IFBB) World Competition in Las Vegas. I will be competing for the World title in August. I haven’t left competition

training mode. I am working hard to win.

Visit us at our permanent location, 80 Rockwood Place, Rochester, New York. I’d been training people for years and wanted a career in doing what I love. I found training people rewarding and loved helping people meet their goals. It’s rewarding when a client comes in and hasn’t had much success anywhere else, and after they complete the custom program designed for them, they meet their fitness goals. You can see their self-esteem increase. They stand taller and are happier people.

What would you consider your specialty?

younger guys with less experience that were also competing. Discipline is the most challenging part. You need to focus on your diet and training schedule.

How did you create Chuck Valente fitness?

I created Chuck Valente fitness in 1995. (https://valentefitness.com/)

My specialty is helping women on the fitness journey. I investigate every aspect and try and find what the unique problem is for them. Most of the time, it’s helping them believe that they can do it. Proper weight training and nutrition will create a physique faster than other training styles for women. I don’t care if it’s the orange theory (it’s just a theory anyway) cross fit, HITT or any other new nonsense being peddled out there. People don’t get hurt if they are weight training properly and their body does not adapt. These different styles force your body to adjust, causing injury. You need to ask yourself; How many actual physiques do you see at these places? How many and injured and wearing braces? They are all killing themselves and not getting the results they truly desire and want.

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” --- Henry Ford

If your clients were to use one word to describe you, what would it be and why?

I hope it’s caring! It’s my job to dig deep, bring out the best in my clients and help them address their fitness fears. It gives them hope to be able to fulfill their fitness goals! Everyone is different, so I encourage them with what makes them tick! I enjoy helping them overcome their roadblocks so that they can become successful.

Who is one person who inspires you and why?

When I was bullied, and sucker punched, I decided to go to the gym and get strong so it wouldn’t happen again. I’ve always been selfmotivated and don’t have any one person specifically. But, if I have to pick one, I would say the 18-yearold that bullied me when I was 14. I can thank him for punching me in the face; it allowed me to find my true passion.

What do you do in your spare time? What do you do not burn out?

My newest hobby is playing the drums; I plan on being in a band

when I retire. Hopefully, I’m good enough not to get laughed off the stage. My other hobbies when I’m not working are hunting and fishing. I love being outdoors, and I find hunting and fishing relaxing. I also enjoy watching YouTube to get a laugh or two.

What is your favorite quote?

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” --- Henry Ford

Visit

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

My parents brought my family here to get away from war and poverty; they moved us here to open new doors for their sons and give their daughter a voice as a female. I grew up in Buffalo but laid roots in Rochester and have been here for the past 18 years. In Rochester, I became the youngest Joint Venture General Manager and am now an Operating Partner at Panera Bread in Penfield. While running and operating The Panera Cafe, I became part owner of Xcelerated Athletics, founded and opened Trifecta Sports, a basketball court designed to bring the community together, and from that experience, I founded Good People Deserve Wins 2- a non for profit that helps young athletes who are facing adversities beyond their control.

What is Good People Deserve Wins 2? Tell us about your mission.

~Good People Deserve

Wins 2 is a non-profit organization that provides financial assistance to youth and local sports teams, currently enrolled in athletic programs in and around Upstate New York. The mission is to strengthen the community by empowering and enhancing youth by utilizing athletics to develop well rounded youth, both mind and body, through mentoring, training, and health and fitness activities. Our core values center around well-being, character, and community. GPDW2 puts people before profits, and is here to advocate and mentor young athletes

towards their reachable potential and cause a positive ripple effect in our community.

What makes you hustle? What does the word “hustle” mean to you?

~Hustle to me means the willingness to know things will not always go your way, and you will take more losses than wins, but to still have the dedication and tenacity to not quit, to keep grinding and never give up. It means finding a

who asked if they could rent the space to have a pizza party to celebrate their team’s achievements. I found out the team they coached was a group of 16 and under young boys and they were celebrating qualifying for the national tournament in Orlando, Florida.

way to push through the doubts and obstacles the universe puts in your way and find solutions to overcome those challenges while life still happens. To effectively and efficiently grind is the ultimate hustle flex in my perception.

Where did the name of the business come from, and how was it created?

~This answer is long winded, but it’s worth it. The name and the reason this all came to life started at Trifecta Sports, where I met two AAU coaches,

What they told me next, broke my heart. This team did everything right; they practiced hard, held each other accountable, showed up regularly to practice and games, stayed off their phones, and worked together as a team to win and qualify for a prestigious tournament for the youth. Everything which was in their control, they did right, but due to lack of funds, due to the adversities they faced because of circumstances they have no control over, they were told they could not go play in the national tournament. Imagine being at Duke or Syracuse University and qualifying for March Madness and throwing a pizza party instead of competing to be national champions; all that hard work and dedication, just to be told your season is over because your team can’t afford to make it to the championships. I was not okay with settling for this; it felt like I had been punched in the gut as the coaches were telling me their story. I knew right then, I felt pulled to help, however I could, I needed to get this team to Florida to complete; a pizza party was not going to be an acceptable

“Where there is a Nelly, there is a way. I’ve lived by that motto for as long as I can remember.”

NELLY EPIC

Tell us a little bit about yourself and your background. Where there is a Nelly, there is a way. I’ve lived by that motto for as long as I can remember. I have been a survivor from the day I was born. I am from Beirut, Lebanon; I moved to the US when I was young.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

elebration for such a talented and disciplined group of young athletes.

The tournament was slated to potentially last up to two weeks, if they continued to win their games. We worked together and came up with unique fundraising efforts which included the well known tools such as gofundme.com, car washes, etc. We had less than 30 days to raise 15K of funds to get 30 athletes, 28 of which had never even left the Rochester area, to Florida to compete in a tournament that they most certainly earned the right to play in. And we did it! We were able to send the team to Orlando, Florida and the young athletes on this team did not take that lightly, they took it quite seriously. Two weeks passed, and on a busy Friday afternoon, at 12:30 while working the lunch rush at Panera, I got a phone call from Coach Corey, and he said, “THEY DID IT NELLY, THEY WON, THEY WENT 9-0 AND WON THE ENTIRE TOURNAMENT. WE ARE NATIONAL CHAMPIONS.”

I remember hanging up the phone, stepping off the line, tears in my eyes, calling my business partners and just screaming “GOOD PEOPLE DESERVE WINS 2.” They all cheered back in pure joy, a moment I will cherish for a long time, and again I screamed whole hearted, “No, I mean it, GOOD PEOPLE DESERVE WINS 2.” I want to do more and give back to our youth who will be our future and the ones taking care of our generation. From that moment, GPDW2 was born, and our mission was set.

Who are some of the strong women that you feel have inspired you and your mission?

~The women on the board for GPDW2 are some of the most inspiring women I have had the honor and pleasure of serving with. Ambitious, driven, humble, caring and giving are only some of the traits they each possess. To be able to work alongside them as we build our non-profit and continue to make a difference in our Rochester community, is something that continues to aspire and inspire me everyday.

The founding principles of GPDW2 are based on the belief that sports define discipline, teamwork and selfconfidence. Did you grow up with these beliefs, or did you learn them later in order to share these with others?

~It was not until I was older where I was able to correlate my success to what I learned when I was younger through sports; things like discipline, teamwork, dependability, and commitment. It was access to positive outlets and the people who cared that ultimately changed my life. Participating in sports and being part of a team, helped me to be better equipped for adversity and difficult situations as an adult. When you’re part of a team you learn things about yourself, such as how to get along with others, how to show up for one another, how to maintain a schedule and be on time. These things and more were instrumental in my success today.

What has been your biggest hurdle since starting GPDW2?

~The biggest hurdle has been not knowing a lot of people, and really understanding and getting comfortable with networking and being the face of the organization.

Tell us about some of your goals and dreams for the organization.

~My hope is for GPDW2 to be known and recognized as an impactful nonprofit organization, and to successfully continue raising the necessary funding to help more athletes and teams in and around upstate New York.

What is one thing people don’t know about you?

~Good question, wouldn’t you like to know

If you could do one thing you have never done, what would it be and why?

~I’d love a chance to do stand up comedy - I really enjoy making people laugh. I hope to one day work up the courage to go to an open mic night after growing more comfortable talking in front of people as I do more events.

What is one piece of advice you have been given that you have never forgotten?

~At the end of the night, look at yourself and ask, are you proud of the person you were today? If the answer is yes, good job, now do it again tomorrow, and if the answer is no, tomorrow is a new day and do better. Since that day, at the end of every day, I ask myself, am I proud of who I was today?

What’s the most important risk you have ever taken? Would you do it again?

~There’s not one specific time that stands out, but in general, the biggest risk I take regularly is betting on me, and believing in myself and my abilities when many have not. Best thing I’ve ever done is believe in myself when others were giving me advice to do the opposite and not take the risk.

“Reject the diet mentality. Restricting doesn’t work.” YOU ARE ENOUGH.

“At the end of the night, look at yourself and ask, are you proud of the person you were today? ”

How do you continue to constantly grow both personally and professionally? What are some secrets to your success?

~I ask a lot of questions. I talk to people doing what I am doing, read books, listen to motivational speeches while driving, and continue to surround myself around positive, like minded people.

What is your favorite thing about what you are doing?

~My favorite thing about what we’re doing is seeing the impact we have on the athletes we are able to help.

Knowing what you know now, is there anything you would have done differently when you were first starting the organization?

~I never expected to start a non-profit organization, I’ve been learning on the fly and when something fails, I make sure I fail forward and take important lessons with each upset along the way. Depending on the viewpoint, even 2 L’s make a W. When we lose, we still win.

What do you feel is most important about the work you do?

~I feel what’s most important about the work we do is giving young athletes hope and showing them they matter. It’s unfortunate, but some of these kids, they don’t have the greatest role

models, and being given the option to pursue their passion, being told they can instead of they can’t, it sparks a drive in them that’s incomparable to anything else. You listen to successful athletes tell their stories, and at some point, the reason for their drive always comes down to someone believing in them. All it takes is that one person, that one influence, to change someone’s entire future. GPDW2 strives to be the change-agent in someone’s story.

What do you think is the biggest problem facing young people today, and how do you feel GPDW2 can help?

~One of the biggest problems facing young people is finding positive outlets to invest their time in. Sports start out as something fun for young kids to participate in, but as they build their skills and develop their passion, suddenly this passion of theirs begins to cost more and more money. Sports are expensive, and not all teams are afforded the same equipment, opportunities and facilities. GPDW2 can help by sponsoring these athletes in their athletic journey, finding them scholarships and operating fundraising activities to produce the necessary funds to allow talented athletes to continue to pursue their passion.

What strategies did you first use to market your business?

~It was difficult at first, and it’s certainly been a learning curve on how to market the business but with every event we’re gaining more and more attention. We started on social media platforms, posting on community pages, as well as networking and talking with whoever would listen. We then started attending community events and now attend at least one community event a month, and more when they’re available, in an effort for the community to recognize who we are and what we do.

Where will we see you next?

~We have so many events coming up this year. We will be at the Influential Woman Expo Saturday, April 22, 2023 and the Health and Wellness Expo Saturday, June 17, 2023. We are collaborating with Keys 2 the City at an event in July, and we will be hosting our 2nd annual Queen of Hearts gala again next year, February 2024. We have two athletes we are currently sponsoring and hope to double, if not triple that, by year’s end. Word is growing and more teams and athletes are reaching out, and with the community’s help, we want to extend a helping hand to as many young sports players as we can. Please consider donating and follow our journey at gpdw2.org.

“I feel what’s most important about the work we do is giving young athletes hope and showing them they matter.”

HEART-WORK IS THE BEST WORK

PHOTOS BY JULIE OLDFIELD

HEATHER BURROUGHS WHO I AM:

• Empowerment Advocate personally connected to the special needs community

• Grants & Media Coordinator at Homesteads for Hope Community Farm

• Podcast Host: Growing Purpose, Cultivating Inclusion

• Health & Wellness Coach

• Motivational Speaker, Educator/Trainer/Mentor

• Writing a book: Pardon Me, but Get the #@$% Out of My Way and developing an online workshop titled: How to Become the Polite, but Effective Badass Next Door.

Please tell us a little bit about yourself and your background:

I was born and raised in Rochester. Long before most people knew what Autism was, my sister Erin taught me. The challenges she faced pushed me into advocacy very early on. Like many people who are “wired differently,” Erin used to have some trouble fitting in and many still underestimate her potential. It became my mission to not only raise awareness and understanding for people with developmental differences, but to also support families who felt like their loved ones were misunderstood. I have found many special needs

families are overwhelmed and need some encouragement to speak up and advocate for what they need.

What has prepped you for your life today?

I started my career as a school psychologist, just like my Dad. Sadly, he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s and Dementia in his early 50s and never fully knew I followed in his footsteps. Losing him was so hard, but to this

When I was working in education, I was recruited to help create and lead a behavioral health team in one of the largest nursing homes in the country. This experience was invaluable, but working in a nursing home during the pandemic broke my heart. All of life’s “rough spots” could have made me bitter… but I think, they made me a better person. Every tough life lesson taught me something I needed to be the woman I am today.

Have you ever had a moment that shook you and could have broken you, but you’re grateful it happened now?

day, that loss pushes me to build a life that’d make my Dad proud.

I know firsthand that life gets messy; it doesn’t always go as planned. Regardless of where I have worked over the years, the people who feel lost or overwhelmed always find me. I joke that I am an “underdog magnet,” but I live out loud and people have watched me overcome more than my fair share of challenges. So, when things get tough, they want to partner up with someone who gets it.

Yes! When my daughter Devyn faced discrimination from our old school district, it shook me, but it pushed me to a whole new level of advocacy. I used to be quiet… Okay, actually I was painfully shy. Seeing Devyn’s disability being used against her pushed me to find my voice. Sometimes the people who are supposed to help us lose their moral compass and sometimes the usual procedures don’t work. As the school district invested their energy into finding loopholes and paying crazy legal fees to defend their position, I built an army of supporters. People from all over the world cheered us on and that helped us endure an exhausting 8-year federal court battle.

Talking to the media and standing up at board of education meetings sparked a new passion – public speaking. I would have never imagined that I would be comfortable speaking in front of 10 people, let alone 100s, or even 1000s, but inspiring and empowering others has become one of my favorite ways to make an impact.

Despite how cruel our old school district was to us; I stood my ground because school districts need to honor ADA law. Gates Chili wanted to make an example out of me, so no other families would want to speak up, but I knew this ordeal was bigger than me or my family. By refusing to comply with NYS Dept of Education or the US Dept of Justice, the Gates Chili school district became the legal example of what not to do. So, I guess we needed them to be stubborn, because the school district’s arrogance is what ultimately lead to us setting a legal precedent for the country. Now, no other school district can take the stand they did and every student who needs service dog accommodations will not have to fight for them the way we did.

What is Homesteads for Hope and how did it get started?

Much like my family, the founders of Homesteads for Hope know firsthand how traditional systems often fail our loved ones with special needs. Jenny’s brother Chucky has Autism and his self-injurious behaviors intensified during his teen years. At one point, the only option was an out-of-state placement. It was heartbreaking and Jenny and her mom Luann worked hard to get Chucky home knowing

full well that the residential and day program options probably wouldn’t accept him. The sad thing is that years later, families have less choice than we did 10 years ago. The special needs community has been losing ground.

Jenny and Luann researched intentional community campuses where people of all ages and abilities have a safe place to call home, make friends, and learn important life skills. They founded Homesteads for Chucky and all the other families who needed a safe haven; a place where they are embraced and supported, not judged or shunned.

What is the mission behind HFH, and what role do you play in the organization?

Our inclusive community may be the first of its kind in Western New York, but we’re modeled after successful intentional communities and care farms across the country. We currently serve 600+ families and have 1000s of community visitors each year. While all ages and abilities are welcome at our farm, our focus is adults with disabilities who deserve choice over where they learn, work, socialize, and live.

I have been a Homesteads for Hope supporter long before the 55-acre property was purchased in 2016. Last March, I officially joined the team. Jenny knew that I would not only help secure funding to forward our mission, but she also recruited me to raise awareness and spark advocacy for the important issues our population is facing. Many of the people who work or volunteer at Homesteads have a very personal connection to special needs.

Our team is dedicated to finishing up our current phase, so we can break ground on our future housing village.

People would love for us to start housing now, but we know that we have to have a strong foundation and be set up to be self-sustaining before we take this next step. We have to do it right, too many people are counting on us. As group homes and day programs continue to close at an alarming rate, our community is growing and welcoming in people losing hope, stuck on waitlists.

What drives you to be so passionate and determined about your work? Like any parent, I need to know my kids will be okay when my husband and I are no longer here. Most of us did not enjoy how isolated we felt during the pandemic and are happy to be getting back to our normal routines. Approximately 70% of adults with disabilities that qualify for services (like day programs or a group home placement) are still “stuck at home,” with no choice but to live with aging family members. What happens when parents can longer be caregivers or worse yet, who will advocate for this population when these parents pass away? In my position here at Homesteads, I embrace tough conversations with an open heart and almost always find allies who have no idea that traditional services are falling apart. Homesteads gives people like me some real hope… Yes, securing grants and encouraging donations and investments is exhausting work, but I am incredibly proud of our efforts and the impact we are making.

PLUS, not many jobs give you the

“I know firsthand that life gets messy; it doesn’t always go as planned. Regardless of where I have worked over the years, the people who feel lost or overwhelmed always find me.”

chance to host a press conference, record a podcast, help an apprentice learn a new life skill, and hold a chicken all in one shift! I am never bored and never blocked from doing what better serves our population. As a grass roots organization, we aren’t bogged down by red tape and bureaucracy. We get things done!

What is one of your favorite highlights from your first year at the farm? There have been a bunch, but meeting Temple Grandin ranks up there! Every time she calls or texts me, I feel my heart race and my cheeks start to hurt from smiling so hard. I have always looked up to Temple because she helped redefine how the world sees Autism. I love that Temple appreciates the hidden blessings of her Autism. Like her ability to visualize complex ideas that solve problems in ways that are very different than the norm. Knowing that one of my heroes endorses what we are doing here at Homesteads, helps me know I am where I am meant to be, doing what I am meant to do.

Tell us a little about your new podcast. During the pandemic podcasts really gained some traction because they helped people stay connected. We knew we wanted to do one and were thinking we’d just kind of “wing it” and come up with a make-shift studio at the farm. Luckily, we learned about RocVox Studios! The owner (Scott) has been phenomenal and as a parent of child on the spectrum, he understands why our message is important. This year, we plan to release a minimum of 28 episodes of our GROWING PURPOSE, CULTIVATING INCLUSION podcast.

They are on YouTube and all the major podcast platforms. So far 7 have dropped and the response has been great! We would love for everyone to follow us (or subscribe) and if anyone loves what we are doing and wants to sponsor additional episodes, please reach out. There are so many important topics to cover and we love where this is going.

Try to describe this organization in 3 words only:

Growing, Acceptance & Community

How do you manage your work-life balance and prevent burnout? That is tricky. I would love to tell you I am better at this, but I am a work in progress. In addition to the farm, I also work as a coach/mentor, and I am a regional lead for an advocacy group… Oh yah, and I am also a wife and mother to four children who have varying levels of special need. I am learning to say no when something detracts from the “rocks” in my schedule. My “rocks” aren’t supposed to be moved or deleted because they help me “refill my cup,” so I can be truly present for what matters, like my family.

What’s your definition of this project being a success?

Our focus right now is creating our Forever Homestead. This project is super important to our mission because it finally gives us the chance to be on campus all year round. Our apprentices and members love the farm and we are working hard to create accessible, winterized spaces that respectfully meet the needs of the people we serve. This project has brought together so many do-gooders. People who despite the

economy, are pitching in with donations of labor and materials. We have some real champions rallying behind us and it will be a success when we “move in” this fall. The walls are going up. The renovations are underway. We know that as the snow melts and people start visiting, the excitement is going to skyrocket.

What does Homesteads offer our community?

We have 3 different memberships, including our popular CSA Food Share. Homesteads also offers a variety of programs for people with and without disabilities. Our programs are wellrespected because we use nature’s classroom to help people uncover potential and grow purpose. Our venue is GORGEOUS. We are right on the wide waters of the Erie Canal, just 10-15 minutes from downtown. Homesteads has been a hidden gem, but more people are finding their way to us. If you want to learn more, check out our podcast or better yet, stop by on a Thursday evening for our live music.

What is your vision for Homesteads For Hope for the next three years? What about in five?

In three years, we will be celebrating our 10-year anniversary. Our goal is to have our inclusive housing village started by then. In five years, our goal is to be offering a more extensive menu of innovative options for people who are often misunderstood and almost always underserved. Adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities (I/DD) are the largest unrecognized minority group in the US and our efforts are to give them back choice about their lives

“Jenny and Luann researched intentional community campuses where people of all ages and abilities have a safe place to call home, make friends, and learn important life skills.”

and find ways to help them cultivate lives with purpose.

Tell us something we don’t know about this incredible place. All of our team members are personally invested in moving our mission forward and we all know this is bigger than us. Homesteads may have been found by one family who felt alone and unsupported, but each season we widen our reach; we create solutions that serve a variety of people with unique needs. You may think that the farm “won’t work” for someone you love, but we encourage you to come with an open mind and heart and we promise to do the same. Everyone is welcome here.

BACKGROUND:

While I did not know my sister had Autism until I was an adult, the challenges she faced pushed me into advocacy very early on. Like many people who are “wired differently,” Erin had some trouble fitting in. Not everyone embraced her quirks and often underestimated her potential. To be fair, not many people knew much about Autism 40-something years ago. It became my mission to not only raise awareness about people with developmental differences, but to also support families who felt like their loved ones were misunderstood. I have found many special needs families are overwhelmed and benefit from

encouragement to speak up and advocate for what they need. To accomplish these things, I became a school psychologist, just like my Dad. Sadly, he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s and Dementia in his early 50s and never fully knew I followed in his footsteps.

Having a sister with Autism and a parent with a significant health condition

•Devyn Rose just turned 16 and has a rare genetic disorder (AGO2) which causes life threatening seizures, limited ability to vocalize (talk), motor delays, and learning difficulties. Her story is followed by 1000s on social media and she is “pretty famous” in the service dog world.

•James is my “bonus son.” He just turned 16 and has Autism. He loves music, math, and statistics about just about anything - Whether it is politics, weather, sports, etc.

•Lillian is my “bonus daughter.” She is 12 and also has Autism. She loves music, is artistic, and is into poetry. Lillian has a big heart and feels things deeply.

challenges made me bitter, for the most part, I think they’ve made me better… It was definitely great prep for my role as a mother to four children with varying levels of special needs:

•Elliana turns 18 in April. She was my preemie (9 weeks early), has a connective tissue disorder, and ADHD. She is set to graduate this year and after watching how medical professionals frequently helped our family, is training to be an EMT.

I met my husband in a playgroup for children with Autism that Devyn and James attended. Coming from an unhealthy marriage where I was often solo when it came to the kids, I was moved by how involved Jim was with his kids. We were friends for years and although we didn’t plan to fall for one another… we did! When I was fighting with Devyn’s school district over accommodations, Jim showed me he cared and stood up for me. We got married in August 2019 (it was the first farm at Homesteads for Hope). Jim is very hardworking and always goes above and beyond for us. He is a Marine Veteran and owns a well-respected masonry business.

“We are always looking for others who share an equal passion for helping vets, and we are currently looking for a Community Outreach Liaison Officer who is a veteran.”

DEFINING MOMENT: I was working as a school psychologist who specialized in Autism and was respected in my field. When my daughter Devyn’s seizures started “stealing away milestones,” I traveled to different specialists across the country and tried many outsideof-the box ideas, including raising the funds to get her a highly trained service dog to assist with her seizure detection and her mobility issues.

Devyn made tremendous progress her last year and a half of preschool with her service dog by her side. Everyone was impressed and then the most unexpected thing happened - Right before kindergarten started, our old school district decided to take Devyn’s dog off her education plan (IEP) and prohibited their staff from helping Devyn use her service dog at school. When asked why, I was

stunned… Gates Chili school district cited Devyn’s disability as the reason she “wasn’t worthy of accommodation.” The Special Education Director told me, “If your daughter could speak, we wouldn’t have a problem, but she can’t and therefore, we don’t see how she can really learn to handle her own dog and we don’t think we need to try and help her do so.” Even after explaining that Devyn was already using non-verbal hand gestures with success, they didn’t budge.

So, I tried the usual steps to come to agreement (meetings, impartial hearings, etc.) and they still wouldn’t change their policy. They denied her service dog access unless I sent in an additional person (at my expense) to help Devyn use her dog at school. Her 1:1 aide and 1:1 nurse wanted to assist Devyn but were not allowed

to and the people who did speak up for us were penalized, and some lost their jobs.

Out of desperation, I began speaking at board meetings and going on the news. Her FB page had lots of traffic (100K+ some days) and our audience grew. I even got a billboard and hung it up near the school. Nothing worked, so I turned to the NYS education Department and the US Department of Justice. Both found in my favor and told Gates-Chili Central School District that their policies were antiquated and needed to be updated. The school district still refused! So, then the United States of America sued Gates Chili School District for discrimination. It was a long and grueling 8-year process, but worth it because we set a legal precedent for the entire country. Schools can no longer

“Our inclusive community may be the first of its kind in Western New York, but we’re modeled after successful intentional communities and care farms across the country. “

take a hands-off approach to helping children learn how to utilize supports that effectively meet their needs (like learning to drive motorized wheelchairs, type braille, use a communication device, or use their service dog). Our court case can be found on ada.gov: https://archive.ada.gov/gateschili/ gates-chili_sa.html and her story can be followed on FB: www.facebook. com/DogForDevyn

TODAY:

made me even more of an advocate – it helped me find my voice. Until this point, I considered myself shy, but that wasn’t getting me anywhere and I realized that while manners are important, being heard is more important, especially when our loved ones have unmet needs.

Disgusted with what this district had done, I knew it was time for a new career. I walked away from 16 years in the field of education and started a new career in healthcare. I spent 7 years at one of the largest nursing homes in the country and helped set up their Behavioral Health Department. Working in this setting was very rewarding, but the pandemic had heartbreaking consequences that impacted the way I could serve the people there. To make matters worse, the staffing shortage everyone was dealing with hit me at home. When I could no longer find responsible

caregivers to help with my daughter, my husband and I were covering huge gaps in the 24/7 care she requires and I was forced to leave this job for more flexible work options.

Being home more helped my health and wellness business explode and my role as a speaker and educator also grew. Knowing what I stood for and

effects of the pandemic, the staffing shortages for people with disabilities have devastated systems that were already struggling. Many day programs remain closed or are running at half capacity and group homes are closing at an alarming rate. As a result, out of the 6+ million adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities (I/DD) who qualify for services, it is estimated that only one-third are in a fulltime program and that 70% have no choice but to live with aging family members. No one is answering valid questions like: What are these people doing all day if they cannot attend programming AND who will take care of them when their families are no longer able to?

how passionate I was about advocacy, last March, the founder of Homesteads for Hope recruited me to join them at the farm.

WHY HOMESTEADS FOR HOPE IS SO IMPORTANT:

People with special needs already face so much and the systems created to help them should not get in their way, but unfortunately some do and many fall short. While all businesses were hit hard with the ripple

There is a misconception that this population is highly supported and has everything they need. That is simply not true and as many of us have resumed many of normal activities, adults with I/ DD (and those that love and care for them) remain “stuck” at home, feeling isolated and forgotten. Homesteads for Hope bought is dedicated to this population.

We bought our 55-acre property in 2016 and over the last 6 seasons have made tremendous progress serving over 600 families in the Rochester area. Our current phase has 15 acres dedicated to our farming and 10 acres for related

“This year, we plan to release a minimum of 28 episodes of our GROWING PURPOSE, CULTIVATING INCLUSION podcast. They are on YouTube and all the major podcast platforms.”

enterprises and social opportunities. We differ from other settings because we put down our technology (phones, tablets, etc.) to embrace nature’s classroom. This re-teaches people the joy of getting their hands dirty and taking pride in hard work. We grow what our people love to do and build on their strengths. By gently pushing people to explore new opportunities, we help them forge lasting relationships. Many who may not be suited for a traditional college experience consider our farm their higher learning experience and we take that responsibility seriously. In addition to our strong sense of community, we empower our apprentices to become self-advocates and they shatter misconceptions that people with I/DD cannot be productive members of society. Their hard work adds to the success of our farm. They are not “humored” with busy work. They are stretched and people who have been characterized as “unemployable” have transitioned into “real jobs with real paychecks.”

Some have said that we “break the mold” when it comes to a nonprofit that serves the special needs community because we aim to be self-sustaining and make giving back to our community part of our model. The people we serve are

sometimes viewed as “takers” or a drain on resources and flipping that for them and allowing them to pay it forward is invaluable. Every day, we aim to change hearts and minds for the better and by doing this, we also feed 100s of families in our community. Our Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) program is very popular and when there is an abundance, we like to give back and supply food pantries with fresh produce to offer those in need.

CURRENT FOCUS: Our current focus is our FOREVER HOMESTEAD Project. We are renovating our 200-yearold historic estate home into a 6000sqft enrichment center. Until now, we lacked accessible, winterized spaces to be open year-round. With our new space under construction, that will be different this season! Being on campus all year will provide the continuity our families need and we will have the room to grow... We will be able to welcome in more community members desperate to get off waitlists and get involved in something meaningful. We have raised nearly 70% of the needed funds to get this house done by September 2023. We are about $300,000 away from our goal. If people would like to donate to this specific project or help

support our mission in other ways, they are encouraged to visit our website, follow us on social media, and listen to our podcast.

FUTURE: People ask me how I ended up at a farm and I say, “This one grows hope… and we all need more of that, especially people in the special needs community. I am here at Homesteads because my heart knows that the traditional options that families have relied on are crumbling and I want to be part of something that has more than delivered on proof of concept and with support, will continue to fill critical needs for our community. Like every parent, I need to know my kids will be okay when I am no longer here and the farm is a safe place where they can come to socialize and learn, maybe work, and someday live. While our current phase is very exciting, I am thrilled that once we are done with it, we can move onto our inclusive housing village. It will be a place to call home for people with and without disabilities. A place where neighbors help neighbors and we are all better for it. It is an exciting time at Homesteads and I know what the future has in store is even more exciting!”

“Our focus right now is creating our Forever Homestead. This project is super important to our mission because it finally gives us the chance to be on campus all year round.”

MILLIE’S MISSION

Tell us a little bit about yourself and your background.

My name is Katie Walter and I am 26 years old, and my fiance’s name is Josh Patti and he is 25 years old. We have been together since September of 2014, and are getting married in September of this year (2023)! I work as a Payroll/ Billing Specialist at a homecare agency in Auburn, NY. Josh owns his own trucking company, and travels to Massachusetts everyday! Josh and I are huge animal lovers, and enjoy spending much of our free time together with our 2 dogs, Buddy and Sadie.

What is Milly’s Mission and how did it get started?

Milly’s Mission is a fund that we started through Rochester Hope for Pets in December of 2021. All proceeds go directly to individuals who are in need of financial assistance for their dogs’ life saving emergency treatments. Josh and I lost our dog Milly back in May of 2021 to liver failure. Milly was only 16 months old, and to our knowledge had much more life to live. When we brought Milly to VSES in Rochester, NY, on 5/20/21 we were told after a couple of days and multiple tests that Milly was showing many signs of liver failure. We were given the option to try everything on 5/22/21 as one last strong effort, but unfortunately it was Milly’s time, and she passed on 5/23/21. After she passed Josh and I had many conversations about the cost of everything, and how we had to continue to pay Milly’s bill even after she was gone. That was extremely challenging for us, as it was a constant reminder of what Milly went through.

Josh asked me one night, “What do you think people do if they get the option to potentially save their dog, but they don’t have the funds to do so? Do they have to euthanize them even if they may be able to live many more years as a healthy dog?” That question stuck with both of us, so we decided to call VSES and ask them about it. VSES directed us to Rochester Hope for Pets, which is a 501(c)(3) not-for-profit organization,

It is truly our mission to prevent others from going through unnecessary tragedy, and take away as much of the financial burden as we possibly can.

What is the goal of your organization? Our goal for Milly’s Mission is to continue to help as many families and their dogs through their tough times, and change their lives in such a positive way. We hope to inspire people to help others in their time of need, and show those who may not understand that they aren’t “just dogs”. To many, their dogs are a part of their family. To some, their dogs are the only family that they have.

Who are some of the strong men/ women that you feel have inspired you and your mission?

established in 2008, funded by the generosity of private donors. RHFP offers financial assistance toward veterinary care costs to pet owners during times of need through many different funds. That is how we started Milly’s Mission.

How did the Name of Milly’s Mission come about?

We chose the name Milly’s Mission because we wanted Milly’s name and her story to live on through all of the dogs and people we will be able to help.

Our parents have been there to support and encourage us since we lost Milly, I’m not sure if we would’ve thought this was possible without them reassuring us everyday. Another person that has inspired us is Krista Brown, the Coordinator from Rochester Hope for Pets. Ever since our first meeting with Krista, she has worked so hard to help us get Milly’s Mission started. Krista goes above and beyond everyday to help as many people and their animals as she possibly can. She is truly amazing!

Tell us about one story that has impacted your organization for the better. The first time we were able to assist an individual with the cost of their dog’s emergency care was something we will never forget! Being able to share that with all of our supporters was very exciting,

What do you THINK people do if they get the option to potentially save their DOG, but they don’t have the funds to do so? Do they have to euthanize them even if they may be able to live many more years as a HEALTHY dog? ”

“

“Milly’s Mission is a fund that we started through Rochester Hope for Pets in December of 2021. All proceeds go directly to individuals who are in need of financial assistance for their dogs’ life saving emergency treatments.”

for us and for the people who donated to Milly’s Mission.

What has been your biggest hurdle since starting Milly’s Mission?

Our biggest hurdle is definitely trying to keep up with the applications for assistance that come in. We never want to be in a position where we are not able to help someone in need, but because we are so new to this it has been challenging to come up with ways and ideas to keep available funds in the Milly’s Mission account at all times.

Tell us about some of your goals and dreams for the organization. We would like to grow as much as we can in order to help as many dogs as possible! We would like to get to a point where we are able to not only assist with the final cost, but pay the entire bill for the dogs and their owners!

What is one thing people don’t know about Milly’s?

Not only does Milly’s Mission assist others with funds for their pets injuries and illnesses, but from the feedback that we have been receiving, it has also been

a huge emotional and mental health support for families dealing with this type of trauma. I know it helps us with the loss of Milly everytime we are able to help others!

How do you decide which vet bills to help with? It there a process you follow?

If someone reaches out directly to the Milly’s Mission facebook page, we will direct them to the website link to submit an application for assistance. From there it will be reviewed by the board, and they will check all accounts with Rochester Hope for Pets to determine

which fund the animal in need qualifies for. If it is a life threatening treatment, Krista will reach out to us and explain the situation, as well as the total cost of the treatment. Josh and I will go over everything and determine what we are able to donate from Milly’s Mission.

What is one piece of advice you have been given that you have never forgotten?

“Whenever you feel discouraged, think back to the beginning of this process and where it is now. The harder you push, the more good you can do for those who need it.”

What’s the most important risk you have ever taken? Would you do it again?

For us, the very beginning of this process felt like the biggest risk. We didn’t know what kind of response we would get. It’s hard when such strong emotions are involved, and you are so passionate about something, it just makes you want to succeed that much more. Josh and I really let our guard down when we started Milly’s Mission, we wanted to make sure we were as honest and transparent as we could, so that others felt comfortable enough to come to us for help if they needed it. We would absolutely do it again, this is something that has helped us more than anyone will ever know.

How do you get funds built up for the organization? What has been the best fundraiser you have ever done and why?

We receive donations randomly

throughout the year, but our main source of funds comes from our annual Trucks for Pups Truck Show. Our first show was in August of 2022, and we were able to raise $16,500 for Milly’s Mission. This has helped tremendously with all of the applications for assistance that we receive regularly.

What is your favorite vs worst thing about what you are do?

Our favorite thing about what we do is the responses we have received from the families and individuals we have been able to financially assist. We love when they send us updated pictures of their dogs making progress with their healing journeys, it is an amazing feeling! The worst thing about what we do is not being able to assist everyone who sends in an application for assistance. It is extremely hard when we do not have the available funds in the Milly’s Mission account, yet there are dogs and people who desperately need the help.

Knowing what you know now, is there anything you would have done differently when you were first starting the organization?

We love the learning process with Milly’s Mission, it has taught us so much. We can confidently say we would not change a single thing, we are grateful for all of it. It has been an absolute privilege working with Rochester Hope for Pets!

What do you feel is most important about the work you do?

Providing the financial assistance that families desperately need in order to

save their beloved dogs.

What do you think is the biggest problem facing rescues today, and how do you feel you might be able to provide a solution for it?

Many people don’t know where they can go to receive financial assistance when it comes to their pets. So, marketing and communication would be the biggest shortfall in getting the message out there.

Where will we see you next? Tell us how and where people can donate if they would like to help. Our 2nd Annual Trucks for Pups Truck Show is on 8/19/23 at the Fingerlakes Mall in Auburn, NY! The show starts at 10am and will end around 11pm after the light show! There will be live music, great food, awesome vendors, and of course a bunch of adorable dogs! If you would like to donate you can always visit our website - https://rochesterhopeforpets. org/millys-mission/ and click the “donate” button and type “Milly’s Mission” under the “Specify here” box. We truly appreciate anyone who is willing to support this cause, none of this would be possible without you!

“Our goal for Milly’s Mission is to continue to help as many families and their dogs through their tough times, and change their lives in such a positive way. ”

Tell us a little bit about yourself and your background.

My name is Ronieka Burns and I am a proud mother of 3 and Nana of 1. Inspired by their lives, I serve as a community activist and organizer which has led me to the path of becoming the CEO/Founder of Beautifully Made, 2017 (Nonprofit) and You are Beautifully Made LLC 2020. I currently work for 1199SEIU Training and Education Fund. I am a proud member of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority Inc. I hold my Associates degree in Respiratory Therapy (Genesee Community College) and a Bachelors in Women and Gender studies & African American Studies (SUNY Brockport). I serve on the Workforce Diversity Network, Coalition of the Black Trade Unionist, Childcare Council and Zeta Phi Beta Sorority Inc. Executive Boards. I’m also an elective member of NYS Working Families Party.

What made you create You Are Beautifully Made?

My personal reason for creating You are Beautifully Made is because at the age of 13 my daughter was diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses, and it shook our lives. With limited resources and support within my community it made it hard to navigate the system. After getting some knowledge of the mental health world I swore to myself that I will create a support system to eliminate any mother and daughter

to go through the same things we went through.

You are Beautifully Made LLC., It was created to push the message and bring awareness of mental illnesses and relationship building between mothers and daughters. Letting women and girls know that no matter what you are going through or went through in life, you are still Beautifully Made. She hosts workshops, retreats, conferences, bonding trips, seminars, panels, public speaking and more to

Our mission is to aid in the development of confidence within young women and mothers in the community. There is a low number of programs or events provided to assist mothers and daughters, who are often dealing with self-esteem and mental health issues. You Are Beautifully Made and Beautifully Made’s mission is to address the need for a more holistic approach by providing workshops, retreats, awareness, and support. We also sell merchandise to push the message of our brand.

Who are some of the strong women that you feel have inspired you?

Inez Burns

Dr. Tokeya Graham

Fannie Lou Hamer

help mothers and daughters improve their relationship. We bring resources to the community.

What makes you hustle? What does the word “hustle” mean to you?

Making an impact in the community makes me hustle. Knowing that I can leave the world a better place gives me hope. Hustle to me means to not be afraid to get the work done, stay focused, and not forget the main purpose of why.

What is the mission behind your business? How did you come up with the name for your business?

What would you consider your specialty? What do people know you for?

Meeting people where they are and providing resources to the community. Being resourceful and aware of the community’s needs. I’m also known for planning and executing great events.

Where has been your favorite place to visit and why?

I love going to parks and laying under a tree to relax. It’s a form of self-care for me.

What are some of the pros and cons of owning your own business?

A pro is being able to execute your own plan, at your own pace. A con

“You are Beautifully Made LLC., It was created to push the message and bring awareness of mental illnesses and relationship building between mothers and daughters.”

can leave the world a better place gives me hope.”

is not having full support on projects you have a personal vision for.

If you could do one thing you have never done what would it be and why?

I would love to Skydive; I think it will be a great way to release everything I’m holding inside.

What is one piece of advice you have been given that you have never forgotten?

Everything you work hard for is worth having.

What’s the most important risk you have ever taken? Would you do it again?

Starting a business was a big risk for me but I would do it all over again without thinking.

How do you continue to constantly grow both personally and professionally? What are some secrets to your success?

I love learning new things. Learning is my key to success. I think we must stay relevant in order to make changes. This goes for personal and professional.

What is your favorite thing about what you doing and being a woman entrepreneur?

My favorite thing to witness is the smiles and laughs between the mothers

and daughters at my business events. Nothing is taken for granted and every moment counts. Knowing I can make a difference is important to me.

Knowing what you know now, is there anything you would have done differently when you were first starting out?

I would have researched the different aspects of running a business and I also would have connected with other entrepreneurs for mentorship.

What do you feel makes your business unique and sets you apart from the competition?

You are Beautifully Made LLC. Is

“Making an impact in the community makes me hustle. Knowing that I

the only organization in Monroe County that only caters to women and girls. Our expertise is relationship building, coping mechanisms, and mental health. All these topics allow a platform to digest and grow.

What do you think is the biggest problem facing young entrepreneurs, especially females today?

Knowledge of resources and mentorship.

What strategies did you first use to market your business?

Word of mouth and I gave out free merchandise.

Where will we see you next?

Saturday April 15, 2023, 4th Annual

Women and Girls Conference, East High School, 1801 East Main. St. 9am-3pm, FREE registration required: https://www.eventbrite. com/e/502241246087

What is one thing people don’t know about you?

Planning events is a stress reliever for me, and I do it for fun.

“Everything you work hard for is worth having.”

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

WHATS THE DEAL WITH BELONGING?

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

You may or may not have noticed that Belonging is a VERY hot topic right now. I was speaking recently at a 3-day international executive conference, where 5 of out 35 talks had the word “Belong” or “Belonging” in the title (including mine) and several more broached the topic within their talk even if it wasn’t mentioned in the title. So, what is all the hype about?

We are all probably very familiar and largely comfortable with the evolution of Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI) in the professional realm, whether it is companies, corporations, agencies, organizations or education. Most of these spaces have adopted some version. It was a rocky start, though most have hit their stride. And it’s needed. Though, I believe, while definitely making huge improvements, DEI falls short.

Why?

Almost everything within DEI are “doing” things. A company sees that their organization is not as diverse as they’d like, so they may a concerted effort to change this in their hiring practices. Now they have a diverse organization and need to make sure everyone is equipped to handle the new environment so workshops and trainings are offered and/or required. This is an over simplification of the work dedicated DEI specialists and executives do, but the point is, a deficiency is identified and work is done to address it.

For example, a push is made to include more women in the workplace (diversity) and then gender bias workshops and sexual harassment courses are offered/

BY AMY BLISS

required (inclusion). A desire exists to have more BIPOC members on team (diversity) and racial and unconscious bias trainings are held (inclusion). You see where I’m going.

First, these tend to be for benefit of those NOT part of the diversity group of which the action is focused, rather than for those the organization is seeking to “include.” And, as mentioned before, these are all “doing” things, actions taken. What’s missing is how does everyone feel about being in the organization. Especially those not traditionally in that space.

This is where Belonging comes in. And while seemingly straight forward – do you feel like you belong (within the organization, on your team, with your coworkers, etc)? (I’m envisioning a note passed between elementary school crushes – Do you like me? Yes or No (circle one)) – it is actually quite complex and nuanced.

Before I explain, I want revisit Belonging as a basic need. If you haven’t been following me here, I’ll recap my position on this… For the vast majority of our existence on this planet as modern humans, we were not safe nor top of the food chain. It is only in the past 5-10,000 years that we live in more solid structures and were not seen as lunch by a wide array of predators. For over 200,000 years, belonging to a community literally was life or death. In prehistory, if we were separated from or cast out of our group, we could not survive. Not belonging = death.

On average, we tend to see ourselves

as separate from the rest of the animal kingdom. And while we have evolved the capacity for higher thought, there is a part of our brain that is still entirely based on instinct. And that part of our brain still equates not belonging or being rejected with death. Unsure? This is why we so desperately avoid rejection, even the possibility of it. Or confrontation, which also carries with it a fear of rejection. We will do almost anything to belong. This is that part of our brain that screams NO! at the thought of doing or saying something that may result in rejection or being outcast. Remember middle school and high school? How desperately we wanted to be included by the popular kids or on a certain team or liked by the human we were crushing on? Remember how it literally felt like a life or death situation? You might have even said “If Johnny doesn’t like me, I’ll die!” That’s this part of our brain in all its glory.

So back to Belonging as a concept in the workplace. I feel like belonging is where inclusivity wanted to go, but the focus, as mentioned above, got off target. And, its bigger than that. This is a generalization, though largely holds – for a long time, the business world was a cold, emotionless place. Gen X, Baby Boomers and the generations before them, would tolerate A LOT if the money was right. Toxicity? Long hours? Ruthless boss? Throw enough money at us (I’m solidly Gen X) and we’ll put up with just about anything. The same is largely not true of the generations behind us. Millennials and Gen Z are generally looking for a particular vibe. They want a sense of community, collaboration, meaning and

purpose. And no amount of money will entice the majority of them to tolerate the things we saw as “normal business” and certainly not toxic environments and/or leaders.

They are looking for a feeling. They want to Belong.

Here’s the catch. The business world, for almost as long as it’s been a thing, has been a “leave your emotions at the door” space. And for a long time, we complied. So now the target is a feeling and one that’s tough to nail down or measure. How is an organization supposed to set or know if they are hitting their Belonging target? They could send out a survey, kind of like that elementary school note. “On a scale of 1-5, how much to you feel you belong in the organization?” That will provide some information, but it only begins to scratch the surface. It ignores how we belong, that belonging is a part of every relationship (so one may feel a strong sense of belonging to their team, but not so much with their manager or the company as a whole) or the fact that a 4 of belonging may have different meanings for different people.

And then what does the company do with that information? What if they are scored lower than target? How does a company increase belonging? How does an organization go from “leave your emotions at the door” to “we want to increase the feeling of belonging among our people”?

There is a disconnect in the workplace today with most leaders being Boomers

or Gen X and the majority of the workforce being Millennial or Gen Z. A lack of understanding and difficulty relating. And most of these leaders see the writing on the wall. It’s evolve or die time, but these leaders are woefully unequipped to find a solution, though desperately need one. Throw into the mix that about 54% of the those participating in the employment game (a larger percentage when looking at leadership roles) are men. Men for whom we have given very little language for emotion and conditioned to always shove emotions down, not just at work. And it’s a recipe for disaster.

So, what is an organization to do?

First, is to recognize that this shift or evolution is happening. No amount of “that’s how we’ve always done things, so I’m not going to change” will stop it. Times are changing. And change is uncomfortable for the vast majority of people, but it’s still inevitable. Next is identifying that a gap exists and if you want to continue in business and retain top talent, you need to evolve with the trends. Fortunately, there are experts out there than can help! People like me who help organizations (and specifically men in some cases) embrace bringing emotions into the fold and how then can enhance the organization, to talk about belonging, its nuances and how the sense of belonging can be increased within your organization. It may seem scary, but trust me, the culture created after embracing these ideas make it well worth it!

Want to know more? Come to the

Influential Woman Conference on April 22, where I will be delivering the keynote on this topic!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Amy Bliss, JD, MBA, is the founder of Amy Bliss Consulting, LLC, where she consults, facilitates and coaches people, leaders and businesses on the power of belonging in the work place and in life. We also offer Conscious Leadership Coaching and Processing for Leaders. For more information, please visit amyblissconsulting.com and to connect, please email her at amy@ amyblissconsutling.com or schedule a Discovery Call at https://amybliss. as.me/. You can read more about her men’s work at https://thewarriorcore.com

“On average, we tend to see ourselves as separate from the rest of the animal kingdom. And while we have evolved the capacity for higher thought, there is a part of our brain that is still entirely based on instinct.”

GOD, SAINTS, TULIPS, AND WINDMILLS

BY CHRISTINE PIACENTINO I IMAGES OF CHRISTINE BY L SHOT PHOTOGRAPHY

I grew up in a very affluent town in NH. My family, however, was not. My father owned a billiard parlor. My mother was a librarian. When I was a pre-teen, my mother suggested I get a job in the town library. She most likely wanted to keep me out of the pool hall. I loved practicing my pool game and trick shots with my father. She thought the kind of boys I was exposed to were seedy and true bad boys. She also couldn’t afford the extra things like make-up and clothes that teen girls wanted. I enjoyed working in the library. I developed a love of reading. I was thrilled when the new books would be delivered and needed to be prepared to be checked out by the public. Life at home wasn’t easy. My parents didn’t get along. I found reading to be a means of escape.

I could find a quiet place in my house to escape into an adventure, comedy story, or biography of exciting people. As my teen years progressed, I found myself searching for witty authors. I laughed out loud every day after I read Erma Bombeck’s column in the newspaper. When her book “Life is a Bowl of Cherries, What am I doing in the pits” came out. I read it with pure abandon. She had encapsulated the life I was living with my mother. I roared with laughter as I read it.

When my son was diagnosed, my mother reminded me of two authors that wrote impactful pieces for handling motherhood with a special needs child. The first was a chapter entitled “The Special Mother” in Erma Bombeck’s “Motherhood The Second Oldest Profession.” I’ll let you ponder what the first oldest profession

would be! She remembered how much I loved Erma Bombeck. The second was Emily Perl Kingsley’s “Welcome to Holland.” My mother was a fantastic researcher and came across this piece

Bombeck’s “The Special Mother.” After all, I am that mother! I love to laugh, am independent, and am a little selfish. I may not be outwardly religious, but I truly believe in faith! In reading Emily Perl Kingsley’s “Welcome to Holland,” I realized that we can’t always plan what life throws our way; you need to adapt and change your expectations to enjoy the ride you are on. Tiptoe through the tulips, look for Rembrandts, but don’t tilt at Windmills like Don Quixote. Enjoy, Holland, your friends may have gone to Italy, but you will have a different story to share when you all return.

Motherhood The Second Oldest Profession. Copyright©1983 by McGraw Hill.

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit. This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

I’m always astounded by this question. I’ve never really thought about it. It’s something I’ve always felt that it’s just something that needs to be done.

These pieces truly resonated with me. I knew I would be OK when I read Erma

“Armstrong, Beth; son; patron saint, Matthew.

“Forrest, Marjorie; daughter; patron saint, Cecelia.

“Rudledge, Carrie; twins; patron saint.... give her Gerard. He’s used to profanity.

“ Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles, “Give her a handicapped child.”

The angel is curious. “Why this one, God? She’s so happy.”

“Exactly,” smiles God. “Could I give a handicapped child a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel.”

“But has she patience?” asks the angel.

“I don’t want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she’ll handle it.”

“I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence. She’ll have to teach the child to live in her world and that’s not going to be easy.”

“But, Lord, I don’t think she even believes in you.”

God smiles. “No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness.”

The angel gasps, “Selfishness? Is that a virtue?”

God nods. “If she can’t separate herself from the child occasionally, she’ll never survive. Yes, there is a woman I will bless with a child less then perfect. She doesn’t realize it yet, but she is to be envied.

“She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says “Momma” for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind

child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations.”

“I will permit her to see clearly the things I see---ignorance, cruelty, prejudice--and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side.”

“And what about her patron saint?” asks the angel, his pen poised in midair.

God smiles. “A mirror will suffice.”

Welcome To Holland

by Emily Perl Kingsley

Copyright©1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley.

All rights reserved. Reprinted by permission of the author.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this……

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The flight attendant comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”

“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

“I knew I would be OK when I read Erma Bombeck’s “The Special Mother.” After all, I am that mother!”

“Most WOMEN become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social PRESSURES, and a couple by habit. This year, nearly 100,000 women will become MOTHERS of handicapped children.

My essays have appeared in The Sun and other literary magazines and anthologies. In 2016 I was in the cast of “Listen to Your Mother,” a curated series of live readings around the country about motherhood. My third book, “100 Things To Do In Rochester Before You Die,” just came out from Reedy Press. My children’s book, “M is for Mindful,” was published in 2019.

What makes you hustle?

When I was in elementary school, I went door-to-door selling gift wrap, greeting cards, and other merchandise for a national company that paid me a dollar for every item I sold. I also biked around the neighborhood collecting cans for money. As an adult I’ve had my own freelance writing business since 2005. I suppose I’ve always been an entrepreneur in some way.

How did your latest book come about?

“100 Things To Do In Rochester

Before You Die” is part of a series of more than 150 titles across the U.S. The publisher asked Visit Rochester to give them some names of local writers, and I was super fortunate to have been chosen.

I grew up in Sedona, Arizona—a much different place than Rochester! I lived in four states before moving here in 1999, and by far this has been my most favorite spot to call home. We have world-class offerings without the traffic and price tags of larger cities. Sure, people complain

about the weather, but as I write in the preface, I learned a valuable lesson my first winter here: There is no bad weather, only inappropriate clothing. As a matter of fact, several entries in the book celebrate our coldest season.

Give us a peek inside the book.

The first thing I’ll say is that, despite the title, there actually are more than 160 things mentioned because I included related suggestions along the way. The book is divided into five categories: food and drink, music and entertainment, sports and recreation, culture and history, and shopping and fashion. In the back are suggested itineraries by subject and season.

I tried to put together a mixture of the obvious and obscure, so locals, transplants, and visitors can find it useful. It has been fun to hear native Rochesterians say, “I never knew about that!”

Can you give an example of something that might not be so familiar?

From October through April, the Christ Church Schola Cantorum downtown pays homage to Compline, a fourth-century monastic custom of private prayer and devotion before bedtime. People sit in candlelit pews and listen for a half hour to Gregorian chant, Renaissance, and baroque choral music sung mostly by Eastman School of Music students. And it’s free, though donations are appreciated. It’s contemplative and ethereal and

absolutely gorgeous.

What about a more conspicuous choice?

Well, we are home to the mecca of grocery stores: Wegmans. Tens of thousands of Wegmans fans show up for grand openings in other states, but the grocer’s longest-running store in East Rochester, which retains some original mid-century features, still stands from 1958.

I’m told the book’s publisher hasn’t had success getting the book sold in any Wegmans locations just yet (including Buffalo and Syracuse, which already have books in this series), but I’m hoping the Rochester book is the groundbreaker. Maybe enough people have to make requests (wink, wink, nudge, nudge!).

Did you learn anything about Rochester during your research that you didn’t know before?

I knew we were nationally and internationally recognized for things, but had no idea just how much attention we’ve gotten from the Food Network, National Public Radio, Esquire magazine, and more. Rochester has the oldest continuously operating mini-golf course, the oldest continuously operating independent movie theater, one of the oldest continuously operating wooden roller coasters, and the largest vinyl record collection in the Northeast. And that’s just to start. The book mentions lots more accolades.

“100 Things To Do In Rochester Before You Die” is part of a series of more than 150 titles across the U.S. The publisher asked Visit Rochester to give them some names of local writers, and I was super fortunate to have been chosen.”

BY ROBIN L. FLANIGAN

What are some of your goals for this latest venture?

I’d love to sell books and help the community at the same time. Any nonprofit organization who wants to use “100 Things To Do In Rochester Before You Die” as a fundraiser gets 20% of proceeds from those sales. I’ve been partnering with real estate agents, and would love to add to the list loan officers and anyone else who regularly gives gifts to clients. I want to see the book in as many AirBnBs and waiting rooms as possible. (My financial advisor said someone thumbing through a copy in his waiting room the other day asked where he could buy one, which is great to hear!) My vision is for business owners of all sizes to use the book for onboarding, recruitment, and retention. I’m offering bulk discounts to help make that easier to do.

I’m not ready to just move on to the next project. I really want to use this book to encourage as many people as possible to view Rochester in the very best light.

Any ideas on how people can use the book?

One of my girlfriends is putting together a group of women to tackle as many things listed as they can. A local organization will be using places in the book as part of a scavenger hunt. Parents can hand the book to their children and ask for input on what to do as a family—and can send their college freshmen off to school with a copy if they’re staying in the

area. Book clubs can make their next read a more active one. Vendors can add the book to gift baskets, and it’s a great way to welcome new residents to the neighborhood. Anyone looking to have fun and learn more about this region can flip through for inspiration.

Why did you want to write “M is for Mindful”?

When my daughter, now 17, was three, I started thinking about how I wanted to teach the concept of mindfulness. I decided to create an alphabet book in which every letter came with an easy-to-memorize, four-line poem that could be used in any given moment when needed. For example:

A is for Attitude accept what comes your way with grace lessons come from every place V is for Voice put your thoughts in words today you have important things to say

I was fortunate to receive endorsements from people like Arun Gandhi, grandson of Mahatma Gandhi and cofounder of the M.K. Gandhi Institute for Nonviolence in Rochester; Sharon Salzberg, one of the world’s most esteemed meditation teachers; and Golden Globe-winning actress Andie MacDowell. The book is used in schools and therapy offices in several states, and has made its way

to an orphanage in Kenya.

What do you do when you’re not writing?

I enjoy cultural events, playing piano and backgammon, and traveling. In 2008 I climbed to the top of Mount Kilimanjaro and saw the curvature of the earth at sunrise—a sight I couldn’t forget if I tried.

How can people learn more about the book, or buy a copy?

Links to purchase (and info on scheduled book signings) are on the website: www.100ThingsinRochester. com

Instagram: #100ThingsinRochester

Facebook: 100 Things To Do In Rochester Before You Die

“I knew we were nationally and internationally recognized for things, but had no idea just how much attention we’ve gotten from the Food Network, National Public Radio, Esquire magazine, and more.”

view Rochester in the very BEST LIGHT. ”

“

I’m not ready to just MOVE ON to the next project. I really want to use this book to ENCOURAGE as many people as possible to

TABETHA WILSON

BY MAYA MCNULTY

Tabetha Wilson is a woman of many accomplishments. She is a dedicated mother of two and lives by her motto “if service is beneath you, then leadership is beyond you.” Since 2017, she has served as a Board Member for the City School District of Albany, citing education as the primary vehicle to help children escape from poverty. She has an intrinsic desire and an interest in representing millennials as the next generation of leaders and policymakers. Tabetha works for the NYS Office of Temporary Disability Assistance, which serves New York’s most vulnerable and needy. In addition, she also serves on many non-profit boards and committees including NYSPAC of the Junior League as Communications Director, the President at AVillage Inc. Her work in leadership is truly inspiring as she’s a pillar in the Albany community.

Tell us about your childhood and where you grew up?

Growing up in Albany, NY after an extended period indoors during the winter, the summertime is where most of my memories come from –the warm sunny days were like a loving embrace, and seeing your friends again – it was a sunup to sundown time of playing, exploring, and laughing. I grew up in neighborhoods in Arbor Hill and Sheridan Hollow. It felt as if I had 500 friends to play with nonstop. It was an era where we knew and also got along with our neighbors. All summer long at least one of the parents would spend time on the stoop looking out for us as we played the days away.

One of my great passions in my youth that I credit to my mother was a love of reading. I am the third of six children

born to two immigrant parents. The dynamics of being a first generation American in such a household is a strong emphasis on education – the world my parents had to navigate was at times challenging, hostile and unforgiving. My parents worked extremely hard to provide a foundation for us. There was a strong emphasis on grades and school as a pathway upwards and onwards. Whenever we went grocery shopping and we went past the toy section, my Mom would never let me get a toy but if I picked up any Little Golden Books she would buy them for me. At a young

Although I could have found a lifeline if I needed one, I struggled silently. What I can reflect on during this dark period is transmutation - taking the pain I was feeling and sharing its hardest moments. That gave me the feeling that I was not alone. An article that I encountered in 2017 that resonated with me was ‘Quiet Black Girls and How We Fail Them’.

As a ‘Quiet Black Girl’, or introvert, I was often labeled as shy. I got good grades and did not cause much of a ruckus so the phrase or moniker “the one I don’t have to worry about” or some variation would be used to describe me and like a spell it worked like a cloak of invisibility. Who knew or even cared what I wanted or needed. Why does it matter? There are bigger fish to fry and other fires to put out. I spent a lot of my adolescence as not fully human and more like an android or Ai – just a feedback loop.

There is a lot to unpack as far as historical marginalization of Black Women and girls.

age, I was also a night owl. I would burn the midnight oil reading not only children’s books, but any book at my disposal. Reading contributed to what I consider my strength – my creativity. Not only do I enjoy writing and art as a creative outlet, but I leverage this skill to solve complex problems and to improve and innovate while volunteering and serving my community.

Tell us about your life before your traumatic experience?

So, the tragedy that spurred my acceleration was not an external stimulus. It was an internal struggle. A tempest of the soul.

Stereotypes about black women are based in misogynoir. That is a specific type of misogyny that is aimed at black women and is uniquely detrimental to Black women: “to describe the particular brand of hatred directed at Black women in American visual and popular culture” – Moya Bailey.

In our society, Black women are often slotted into one of four roles:

•the sassy Black woman,

•the angry Black woman,

•the strong Black woman, or

•the overly sexual Black woman.

These labels lurk and follow you into the classrooms. Often questioning or clarifying what is then characterized as sassiness. The rise in self doubt follows you into interviews or the workplace where often you can be overqualified, underpaid, and over-encumbered due to an inhuman caricature of strength. It also follows you into municipal offices or stores or anywhere that you must make a demand for what you are entitled to, or some accountability. You can then be labeled angry, because you are not accepting no for an answer. Anywhere else these are admirable traits, but historically for Black women they serve as a curse.

No matter what you say or do, you cannot possibly have any redeeming qualities or positive contributions because a negative caricature precedes you. Even if the caricature is not necessarily negative it can still harm you; the perception of being strong is attributable to the misnomer that we experience less pain than other groups.

Our healthcare is jeopardized, and we tend to suffer being misdiagnosed or other calamities because they cannot hear us –they know us already. These archetypes leave little room for our individuality. The byproduct of whether you are seen as part of the monolithic stereotypes or exception to the stereotypes is still the same – erasure, silencing, marginalization, health disparities and oftentimes death. As a young person, especially an adolescent, you do not have the vocabulary for what is happening to you, but you definitely know it when you see it, or in my case feel it. Microaggressions, offhand remarks or casual statements would cut me to the bone when I was young. I would press forward or do my best, but I often felt

before I asked or attempted what the answer would be, “No, not you.”

What challenges did you overcome? Lucky for me, you get sick of not feeling at the helm of your destiny. As Audre Lorde so eloquently stated, “If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.” Without knowing or hearing this before I knew this was happening to me – I was being labeled or put into a box. I had a lot of talent, skills, abilities, and creativity that was barely tapped into, and just because I was not a rabble rouser it did not make it less worthy of investment.

I eventually found my voice and it coincided with being an advocate for my family. In many immigrant households you do not make waves, especially in the world outside your door. I know a lot of folks who cannot be bothered to resist, or demand what they are due or speak up for themselves. I did not mind being overlooked on a personal level but injustices great and small unnerved me to no end. My love of reading and thus ability to navigate red tape enabled me to step into many adult spaces and demand accountability, action or simply make inquiries that others did not have the time, patience, energy, or stamina to deal with. I could write well and tell people off in a diplomatic and non-offensive way, this coupled with persistence is where the seeds of who I am were planted.

Spending so many years bottled up in the manner I described, things took a turn with my personality. I had a brief stint in an extremely negative space, and as I mentioned I grieved opportunities and eventually that grief manifests like

anger. The movie ‘Rebel Without a Cause’ comes to mind as I was angry, and fed up but I did not necessarily have an outlet for it. In this instance you can be a bit volcanic – and either erupt your family or friends or some other self-destructive element. Again, this was a necessary period because before becoming destructive I was lucky to come across two tools that made me introspective. One was when I met someone who introduced me to meditation and the other was when a friend gave me a book, the ‘48 Laws of Power’ by Robert Greene, which, although cliché, introduced the concept of self-mastery and emotional intelligence. And the entire self-help genre which is where I put my focus – on my personal and professional development. I can genuinely say it is a night and day difference between the person that was in a dead-end job and very melancholic and a little angry and the person who I am today who I think is unrecognizable and who propelled themselves from that place quickly. I know I am lucky to have emerged from that brief stint in such a negative place because many end up spending their entire lives there.

To overcome these challenges, I leaned into two things, hard work and a commitment to excellence. Hard work – There is a classic American adage about the immigrant work ethic – as I grew older and gained some perspective that my mom took that to the extreme.

She was not always healthy; her children outnumbered her, and she was in a very labor intensive and not well compensated job – yet she was always doing something hyper productive and in contrast I just felt like the laziest person in the world. Where in my youth I saw this extremely

“As a young person, especially an adolescent, you do not have the vocabulary for what is happening to you, but you definitely know it when you see it, or in my case feel it.”

strict, hyper focused individual, in my adulthood I saw a source of strength. Applying yourself, doing what others will not, going beyond are all components that distinguished me in the times I was trying to advance personally and professionally.

Commitment to excellence

– There is an infamous book by Cal Newport - ‘So Good They Can’t Ignore You’ – and the backstory of the film, ‘The Pursuit of Happyness’ has the same theme: Be world class at something. If you can combine hard work with high quality of work, you become as the book is titled ‘So Good They Can’t Ignore You’.

What did you learn?

My thoughts are that failure is not an option and keeping your ‘why’ at the forefront is highly motivating. I learned what my strengths and weaknesses are, and I urge everyone to do the same. Knowing where I am strong allowed me to assert myself in the things I believe in, am passionate about and to push things forward towards progress. I consider creativity and collaboration my strengths and this manifests as many hours of service in the community. Knowing my weaknesses lets me know what pitfalls and detours to avoid. Knowing my weaknesses allowed me to invest my energy wisely and know not to internalize them but areas that need investment and improvement and then align with people and opportunities wisely.

Biggest challenge?

It is always darkest before dawn. I remember being in the trenches, and feeling like there was either no way out or it seemed like I could not win. In those times you are being molded and you go through those challenges so you can build up the muscle memory to encounter

Women are the foundation of strong communities but are often presented with forced choices, due to patriarchal power frameworks in place. It is often women who are asked to be resilient and roll with the punches. I aim for the day when we can focus on rest and restoration versus resilience. Until then, resilience is a stress test. There are almost no easy days, there will always be something, someone to come along and upset you. The goal is to not be derailed by this – to let it flow through you, over you and around you but do not absorb it and internalize it.

About:

Maya McNulty is a successful business woman, author and patient - led researcher. Her tenacity for advocacy, passion for travel and outdoor adventure allows her to speak on global stages and experience different cultures other than her own. A positive mindset and attitude are the cornerstone to Maya’s resilient lifestyle. She has been featured on ABC, NBC, CBS, WebMD, Medscape, Healthline and many more.

bigger goals. When I pursued the school board an onslaught of microaggressions which if I was in a phase of imposter syndrome or – however I knew myself well at that time I had an arsenal of ammunition which included knowing I had the skills commitment and the knowledge of myself to confront people trying to chip away at my confidence. Explain your view on resiliency?

Twitter: https://twitter.com/mayamcnulty

Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/ in/mayamcnulty/

“If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.”

“I” IS FOR INVEST IN YOURSELF

BY LORI BRUTON I PHOTOS BY JULIE OLDFIELD

It’s Spring! It’s time to spring ahead and put a spring in your step.

No matter what is going on in your life and business, there are solutions. Solutions bring hope. Enter me, the Queen of Hope. Let’s find solutions for you.

It’s a new season (not just a new tax season), a new season in your life.

Today, I’m going to talk about the “I” in The LORI Factor – INVEST in yourself.

Warren Buffet was asked the question, “What’s the most important investment you can make?” He answered, “In yourself.”

Do you keep putting yourself last because you are taking care of everyone else? That was me too.

Investments are not always monetary. Time is an investment. Take time for personal development (and a spa day). Start with a good book. Message me for some of my favorites. I would be happy to make recommendations.

Surround yourself with people who care about you and believe in you. We are not meant to live this thing called life alone or isolated.

There was a time I found myself on shaky ground feeling unstable physically, financially, and emotionally. When I looked up, I stood on The Rock. Apart from God, nothing works right. My other rock who stood by me then and now is my son, Joseph. Unconditional

love conquers all.

Enjoying life with my son and daughterin-love, Stefanie, is the best part of my life. Our travel adventures are fun. I fondly remember a cruise we went on. Talking, walking, laughing, sharing ideas, and watching our businesses grow is an ongoing rewarding experience.

It’s better riding the waves of life with loved ones. When the waves seem insurmountable, together, we can overcome.

That’s true for you too.

It’s important to invest time and money to live the life we were born to live. Use wisdom and discernment. Don’t invest your way to broke like I previously did. It’s easy to fall for persuasive marketing. Whatever it is, if it’s for you, great; if not, pass it by.

There is great value out there. Weed through the scams and know what lines up with your goals. I know it took me awhile to figure that out, which cost me dearly. However, everything has been a learning experience. That helps me guide others with direction and connections.

Alexander Hamilton said, “Those who stand for nothing, fall for anything.”

Speaking of falling, some days it feels like the roof is caving in. What do you do when the roof caves in? First, contact Bruton Consulting [https:// www.brutonc.com/]. It’s important to literally keep a solid, stable roof over your head. There is more than one kind

of home improvement, though. One is the home you live in and the other is the body you live in.

Taking care of both homes is essential. Our physical bodies house our mind, will, and emotions. There is the functional component physically, of course. There are other parts that make up a solid structure. All parts work together. Look inside your soul. What does your heart desire?

Maybe your heart has been wounded. We all go through a healing process. Walking through my healing journey, I discovered who I am and what I want. It’s just as important to know what you don’t want.

It’s hard to see beyond the storm. Some storms hit hard without warning and our shingles blow off leaving us exposed, vulnerable, and needing help.

We face other storms we didn’t see coming because we didn’t notice the warning signs. Therefore, we were unprepared or we procrastinated.

Procrastination and I know each other all too well. Just like ignoring and putting off roof repairs. You think it’s fine as long as there are no leaks. Did you know that leaks can be hiding? Literally, hiding in your attic or walls and also behind the walls you put up inside yourself. It all builds up until the big stuff hits and things start to crumble.

In the meantime, you ignored your roof, your health, your finances, and your relationships. It ends up costing you

more in the end. Materials cost more, interest rates are on the rise, your house and your body start breaking down. It causes a cave in, which affects every part of your life, home, and business.

You think you can’t afford a repair or replacement. There is always a way even if you don’t see a way. You are irreplaceable. Our bodies will perish. Our homes and bodies need attention and maintenance.

We don’t have to live sick, broke, busted, and disgusted.

That is why I am digging deeper into my health journey, ripping off the old

shingles. I am excited to help other people on their journey too. I am finding out what works best for me and what doesn’t. All I know is I choose life. My best days are ahead.

Make the most of your life and home you live in so that you can enjoy it. Create wealth and wellness. What does that look like for you?

Procrastination is costly. Ignorance is not bliss. I learned that the hard way. Making the right investments now will save you in the long run. You will always get a big return when you invest in yourself.

Don’t wait. Every day is precious. Tomorrow is not promised. Most of us lost an hour when we sprang ahead for daylight savings time. It didn’t seem like a savings to me. I am thankful for a new season and for the new me that is emerging and transforming.

What needs repair or change in your life? Spring is a time for new beginnings and a fresh start. Let me know what you need. I may be able to help.

Find me on Facebook @loribrutonbiz or call/text 585-371-8328 or email hello@loribruton.com

“Make the most of your life and home you live in so that you can enjoy it. Create wealth and wellness. What does that look like for you?”

BLACK GIRLS DON’T GET LOVE

BY JOSHUA MICHAEL KING

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

Underserved, underresourced and unrePRESENTed...there is alot of work left to be done.

I am compelled to use this opportunity to address a mounting concern. Our voices are present, yet stifled by the exuberant sounds of privilege all around us. Those that are being heard and charged with huge decisions aren’t always accounting for those that elected them. While seemingly harmless and pure of intentions, power and positioning is offered to those that usually are not directly impacted by the decisions that they make. Many really only notice that there is a difference because their own entitledment tells them that they might not be getting what they feel like they deserve. They recognize that there are discrepancies only because of their lived experiences, while failing to make a move to engage, educate, or empower those that wouldn’t know the difference. These are also the same people that create confusion and division by way of tactics that are questionable, all while saying that they want the community to come together. Clearly we are not having the same conversations. It is clear that even when trying to be helpful, they can be harmful by highlighting experiences that are not their own. The disparities and disconnect can be witnessed in the ways in which officials divide up what insufficient resources

we have. We see it in their proposals for aquariums, athletic leagues, shady development deals, and in our schools. We can see the difference, yet say very little. They’ll watch individual schools struggle, while entertaining a revolutionary concept for a countywide STEAM High School that includes the students whose families have historically excluded themselves into the safety of invisible district lines in the suburbs. We don’t tend to say much about the people that serve our community so well that they

take the city’s tax base to building up neighborhoods that not all people are welcomed in. Some even have it so well that they’d rather pay taxes AND tuition elsewhere, in order for some schools to be underperforming and underresourced; thus avoiding the challenges that are faced by a growing majority.

All of this matters. RePRESENTation matters more today than ever before. The message cannot solely be to just tax the rich or Flip the Leg. Those that are still here will leave for the

sanctuary of some other city, town, or village. What’s worse is if they stay in Syracuse and decide send their kids to CBA, Bishop Grimes, or MPH. We have to have a better solution and encourage them to stay or rejoin our school district, as well as be intentional about using privilege to support and push forward the voices that need to be heard. All students across this district are impacted by the loss of funding and decades of shortfalls; however, the residuals of such are more pronounced in certain schools, neighborhoods, and homes. We cannot create equity in our district if we continue to miss opportunities to leverage privilege in a different way. We could stand to revisit and revise our understanding of neighborhood schools, school choice, and the ways we allocate resources to execute missions and become more effective and efficient with our policies, procedures, and protocols.

Self determination is a key component to success, yet often we see that that too is being prescribed by others. We have enough standards to compete with from the State of New York, without also having to contend against our own neighbors for the crumbs that are provided to us all. Even the decisions to return to school were absent of true input from all families, and the choice was left to chance. Students are asked to act locally and think globally, but there

“Economic growth and power are the means, not the definition, of a great nation.”

are some that will likely never leave their own neighborhoods. Systemic, social, and georgraphic barriers all but ensure that the experiences vary wildly from home to home and school to school. If an alarm is to be sounded, it is one that has been ringing for quite some time in schools where situations and circumstances create sometimes insurmountable obstacles for students and families. As we get closer to the election season, we should all be considering who has been selected to represent us and why. I would suggest that there are often far more experienced, better equipped, and otherwise appropriate

voices to be heard. Whether or not anyone can hear is dependent on whether we are truly willing to take a step away from our own privilege to actually listen.

Even when those voices are heard, it us often times clear that nobody is listening. Hearing and Listening are not the same operation. Students and families should not have to be of affluence and influence to have their most basic educational needs prioritized or be rePRESENTed.

Captions:

On Friday, March 24th, Masking

& Kompany CEO Joshua Michael King gathered an intimate group of community leaders and industry innovators to discuss child welfare concerns. King is among one of the regional consultants for the Redlich Horwitz Foundation (www.rhfnd. org/) who is currently taking their strategic initiative to amplify the voices of youth and families throughout NY State. This has led to those who have viable solutions for some of the most common and complex social problems. Organizations like Black Girls Don’t Get Love are paramount in the fight to address

“Students and families should not have to be of affluence and influence to have their most basic educational needs prioritized or be rePRESENTed.”

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

BY DR TUNYA GRIFFIN

Challenge accepted: Two schools of thought just stoners on the one side who said you should not attend a Beyoncé concert and you have the others that did not have stones, but they had a Beyoncé ticket

For many, last year could have been called the Year of the Black Woman. From the pathbreaking run of Kamala Harris, who rose to the highest levels of power, to the coalition of Black Women who helped organize voters to help flip Georgia into the Democrats’ column, and B Women gathering together to sing liberation songs of freedom by Beyoncé in her latest work Black Parade. A full blown protest song served as a poignant reminder to Black girls and women that almost anything is possible.

Challenging What’s Possible

As we entered in the year of 2023, the ideal of what happen in 2022 that almost anything is possible, be in check the space of 2023 where things that were possible were challengedBeyoncé is unbothered - Return to sender “There are few artists — almost all of them go by one name — whose careers are marked by the cracks they leave behind, shifting the culture with every new release in ways both subtle and enormous. There’s little doubt “Renaissance” (which Beyoncé has confirmed is the first in a “three act project”) will be seismic, which is why the Beyhive has been bracing themselves for a movement since the singer announced its release last month. In preparation for the earthquake that’s just starting to rumble, here’s a look back at a few of the singer’s groundbreaking moments.”

And there’s no better time to challenge status quo than in the month of February. Can we talk about Black Excellence on Full display in the month of February. We understand that we have like 365 days a year but there’s something about highlighting the excellence of Black people in the month of February. It is as if black excellence is on display with steroids. The contributions of many Black people across the African diaspora has helped to advance our world. This seems to center on the lines of our brilliance and ingenuity, inspiring all people around the globe to see to remember to know, and articulate clearly that Black people whether we’re wearing an Afro and bell bottoms or whether it is that we are watching soul train and eating blackeyed peas or whether we’re listening to Beyoncé on a hot Sunday morning before church services reminding us all that “Girls rule the world.”

So again for the people in the back, what better time to elevate our blackness but in the month of February, and it seems that Beyoncé never disappoints.

She’s always hits her target. For me, there’s something to be said about a women that chart their own paths, lead their own lives, and drive the curse of history while their personal private lives are on full display for others to see every inch of your life and critique what you say, how are you show up, what you wear, songs that you sing, and critique how you honor and worship the god that you serve - it’s a tough juggling act standing under the pressure of your critics who for one second would not be able to walk in your shoes, but would rather

talk about you, then pray for you. It’s hypocritical at the least And hurtful, especially when the critique is coming from women who may not have walked in your shoes, but in some sense, understands how difficult the plight is for us as women, in particular black women.

Beyoncé has contributed to the culture she has contributed to women she is contribute to our blackness in ways that some may not have ever even dreamed it was possible but she shows us that it’s possible whether she is being quoted by The Clark Sisters with church girl lyrics whether it is that you see our young girls in high school and elementary school saying yes I can reach to these heights as well because I’ve seen Beyoncé and she was able to do it while taking care of her family. But what we should also know that everyone is not happy about black excellence being on display if it doesn’t fit into their little boxes however the words of Rihanna we find ways to the heartache and the pain to disappointment to shine like a diamond, and in February to shine like a diamond on steroids, and Beyonce appear to make it easy to look easy because I’m quite sure she’s reminded of the words of Danny McClurklin when you have done all you can stand! One of the most prolific artists is being challenged in the public space.

“You want to rumble with the BEE.” The false claims made by my sister with her arms out and nine days later responding with a nose ring Fosse claims that Beyoncé ticket holders were not Christians, and that Beyoncé is a witch Those who attended the Beyoncé concert started firing back, sending messages

defending their position about attending the Beyoncé concert. Sam went as far to refute the claims that Beyoncé was a witch, and in fact some fired off by calling the spokesperson a fake prophet.

Challenge Accepted

Two schools of thought just stoners on the one side who said you should not attend a Beyoncé concert and you have the others that did not have stones, but they had a Beyoncé ticket

Attempt To Hijack Beyoncés Biggest Moment

Beyonce released on a 23rd of June as a day known as Juneteenth, when the United tates marks the end of slavery in June 18 65, Beyoncé, as we know, it’s a Texan, and the commendation itself is linked to the fact that slaves in Texas were only told of their freedom 2 1/2 years after the official emancipation proclamation. They carry down toiling without pay for more than two years. When Beyoncé sings I quote I’m going back to the south where my roots are.

They watered down. She’s reclaiming those Texas roots and she also adds when she sings and I quote it’s for us all black all chrome black owned. She’s defending black excellence and business and for Beyoncé black excellence is a form of protest and she wrote this on her website, and I quote announcing all proceeds from sales of this song will go to hell black on businesses, small businesses in the Villa Herb a good initiative.

what we should also noticed during the war after the death of George Floyd, that Beyoncé on Cardin, petitions and

prayers, and the tradition of the murdered clergyman and civil rights leader, MLK, but when she sings, and I quote, “The need for peace and reparations for my people and faces heard, and latest headlines with she is closer to Malcolm X, the freedom fighter and the defender of black nationalism Beyoncé has taken a stance in the case of even Breonna Taylor. She’s defended the Attorney General of Louisiana against the metro police department as she uses her lyrics to convey the notion that there is justice, and nothing else.

But as I think back on the aftermath of this last week hearing one black clergy women tear down another black woman by making false claims that she, Beyoncé is a witch, and using the Bible and her title of a prophetess to give her words credibility is not congruent with what the biblical text says. In fact I would argue it is the antithesis of what we as Christian leaders are called to do.

Evelyn Higginbotham writes, women were the crucial to, but probably the public arm of the church, and made it into the most powerful institution of self-help, in the African-American community. She also added that during the years, the church served as the most effective vehicle, by which men and women alike, pushed down by racism and poverty, regrouped, and rallied against emotional and physical defeat. church women, contested races, ideology and institutions through demands for anti-lynching legislation, and it ended segregation laws. women expressed their discontent with both racial and gender discrimination, and they demanded equal

rights for blacks and women advocating for voting rights and equal employment and educational opportunities.

‘The point that she argues here is that we need to rescue women from their invisibility as historical actors in the drama of black empowerment- but we must do this work together.”

She further explained black women, even drew upon the Bible, the most respected source within our communities to fight for our rights in the church, and even in society at large we stood together, and we fought together the way was made because we decided that we were better together in this fight to move us forward. Not only us individually as women, but the church collectively.

The point that she argues here is that we need to rescue women from their invisibility as historical actors in the drama of black empowerment- but we must do this work together to rescue one another with our words and actions. since women have traditionally constituted the majority of every black denomination she presents the black church not as the exclusive product of male ministry but as the product in process of male and female interaction therefore she’s offering a corrective to the exchange, between black men and women - but I also think we can use the scholar Evelyn Higginbotham words to offer a corrective with our exchanges between one another as women.

Life for us (Women) ain’t’ been no crystal stair

Our plight as women ain’t been easy

“As we entered in the year of 2023, the ideal of what happen in 2022 that almost anything is possible, be in check the space of 2023 where things that were possible were challenged’

For me, there’s something to be said about a WOMEN that chart their own paths, lead their own lives, and DRIVE the curse of history while their personal private lives are on full DISPLAY for others to see.”

“

In an interview with Tavis Smiley, Viola Davis, and Octávio. Spencer talked about their Oscar nominations for the role of the house during the Jim Crow era, Travis said, “ I want y’all to win! He concluded, but I am ambivalent about what you’re winning!”

Davis countered that, “it is hard for black actresses to find multifaceted roles in Hollywood and up the pressure from the black community to ask you portray that you are not heroic makes it even harder that very mindset that you have and that of a lot of African-Americans is destroying the black artist. If your criticism is that you just don’t want to see the maid then I have an issue with that. Do I always have to be to Noble?

“From the black church/church to ask you to portray that you are not christian, because you are Beyoncé or that you purchased a ticket to the Beyoncé ‘s concert makes it even harder that very mindset that you have and that of a lot of church folks are destroying the very pursuit of finding God.’

Viola Davis, asked for black women, particularly those in the public eye. The answer to the question is often resounding, yes, they are required to be noble examples of what black excellence is to better to be respected, and the bounds of respectability are nearly defined by professionalism and personal ethics.” I would add here that Viola Davis is correct- if we. Interpret her words through the lens of the church then I think it will be fair to say that that viola Davis is correct, we are required to live by noble examples of respectability politics

that has been established and narrowly defined by our own interpretation of what we think the Bible says, what the Bible endorses, and what the Bible prescribes-these nearly defined boxes by the church that is not endorsed by Scripture has been and is the church Achilles’ heel and i would argue, this is why we see this response in the public space about Beyoncé demonstrating or using her God-given talents and abilities is not congruent with scripture and that her gift was reduced to witch antics, because the belief is that the use of her God-given talent is outside of the respectability politics, boundaries established by the speaker rather than God. In response, the speaker decided she was given the charge by God to indict behavior that was offensive to her rather than offensive to God.

Davis is talking about respectability politics as an actress, but respectability politics also play out on the stage of church and church life.in this way, we see and interpret the biblical text through a narrow lens, and as a result our responses become a water down version of what the proper interpretation should be of the biblical text coupled with our own abusive words used to to ensure people don’t get out of line, because these behaviors do not fall within our limited categories that we have developed that has nothing to do with scripture at all.

To further the conversation viola, Davis points out about the narrowing of these categories, based on our own ideals of what it looks like and we put these categories, and what we consider respectable boxes that reflect the social

mores of the majority of the culture she talked about it in ways of the patriarchal Judeo Christian way of thinking, and that these these standards mirror society. Spencer ended up, taking home later that month for the best supporting actress , but Smiley had articulated a discomfort, many of the black community felt about their big screen roles similarly to what is happening here when we see this forcefully and abusive message that is packaged in the scripture to use as the weapon of choice to articulate a discomfort Medi in the church, feel about fiancés God given talent.

The message illustrates that some church folks still filter, and distort the lives of women and their histories, and their hard work, and their ability to communicate their way of how they live out there God given talent on the stage of life, it’s still not acceptable to the stoning committee.

Healing The Wounds of Women

the plight is not easy for women, no matter what domain that we are all situated in and therefore because it’s not an easy journey, A filmmaker writes the Vanguard of black culture is still healing wounds from the past wounds that racism has created, wounds that drive you to gain acceptance in the larger culture,, - and I will add, wounds that some of our church speakers have added by the way that we interpret the biblical text out of context.

Together we are looking for validation and acceptance in the company of our sisters. You must understand our journey together as women that our journey is not easy, respectability politics to

“The point that she argues here is that we need to rescue women from their invisibility as historical actors in the drama of black empowerment- but we must do this work together.’

counter negative views of black women or women by aggressively adopting the manners and morality, that the dominant church culture deems respectable we should understand the respectability politics developed out of what the dominant culture deemed Respectable in the church adopted this behavior, labeling church girls, those who hold Beyoncé tickets those who attend a Beyoncé concert those who attend church and have a Beyoncé ticket those who sing the lyrics of lemonade, and Church girl are deemed and categorized and labeled as other degenerate and substandard this is the messaging that we saw on display With deep roots that are in the ideal of assimilate into the culture of what Church deems as respectable has been, and is our Achilles’ heel for us, collectively as women taking the journey together, having a human experience

being Christians, in all different domains, the ideal of demonizing, one another to categorize us into these boxes, based on respectability politics, has led us down a dangerous road And that road we saw on display as we heard one of our sisters call another other sister, a witch! without any facts, without any data, and without any supporting scriptures in context, and some applauded. i argue here respectability politics in the context of the church we do not have the luxury as women taking a journey together to demean, oppress, abuse, nor bully one another, with our words, or our actions. spewing our own Jim Jones juice dripping with negative words about who we think is a Christian what we think is not a Christian - the question is who is the one to decide?

And here, emerges is our fallacy of what respectability politics, an oppressed

community can deeply implicitly, endorse, flawed, language including that form the foundation of their own oppression and marginalization The fallacy of ill treatment is okay,

The ideal of spewing out abusive words is to the betterment, and the building up of the body of Christ is a false reality. Negative views of how we see one another has no place in the church, and in our pulpits, or in the company of your sisters black women carry the burden within the space of the church to uphold standards of respectability politics They should not carry such a heavy burden of exclusion. It is a dangerous narrative that must come to an end.

“Together we are looking for validation and acceptance in the company of our sisters”

OPENING OUR HEARTS

BY MELISSA SPIKE

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

A Story of Fostering, mentoring or adopting at risk Teenage Children

Once upon a time, in a small town nestled in the heart of America, there lived a group of teenage children who had been mistreated by the people in their lives. These children experienced some very difficult times in their young lives - neglect, abuse, and trauma - and they desperately needed stable and loving environments.

Unfortunately, there were not enough foster and adoptive homes in the town to provide for all the children in need. The local social services department had been struggling for years to find suitable homes for these teenagers, who were often seen as too old or too difficult to place.

One day, a kind-hearted couple, Sarah and John, decided to open their home to help these teenagers. They had raised their own children and felt they had the love, patience, and resources to provide a safe and stable home for teenagers temporarily or as long as needed.

The first teenager they welcomed into their home was Monica. She was 16 years old and had been

living in a group home for over a year and needed a family home. She held many emotional scars from her past experiences, and it took some time for her to embrace being with Sarah and John. Over time, Monica came to trust them and began to be comfortable, even sharing her fears and dreams and coming to love them.

Sarah and John soon realized that fostering a teenager was not

observed that stability, support, and love impacted the lives of the young people they took in. Some of the teenagers they fostered were reunited to their birth families, or were eventually adopted by other families, while others aged out of the system and went on to live healthy independent lives. But they always knew that Sarah and John would be there if they needed them, remaining mentors in their lives.

easy. Monica had multiple needsemotional, physical, and educational – but they committed to seeing her through. They also discovered that it was incredibly rewarding to see Monica grow and thrive in their care. Monica felt their care and commitment, giving her hope.

Over many years, Sarah and John welcomed other teenagers into their home. They experienced and

As years passed, many families in the town began to take notice of Sarah and John’s example. They saw that teenagers in need of foster families were not monsters or lost causes, but simply young people who needed care, a fair chance and understanding. Eventually, the number of foster and adoptive homes in the town began to increase and meet the need of the teenagers in foster care.

Sarah and John knew that they had made a real difference in the lives of the teenagers they had fostered. They had shown that love, patience, and understanding could help even the most troubled teenager to cope with their past traumas and build a brighter future. They also knew

“These children experienced some very difficult times in their young lives - neglect, abuse, and trauma - and they desperately needed stable and loving environments.”

“Sarah and John soon realized that fostering a teenager was not easy. Monica had multiple needs- emotional, physical, and educational –but they committed to seeing her through.”

that there would always be a need for more foster and adoptive homes for teenagers in crisis.

Have you ever thought about fostering, mentoring or adopting a child? Children Awaiting

Parents offers free consultations and workshops for those debating becoming a foster or adoptive parent. If you are ready to explore the options, please call or email! We can walk you through common misconceptions and how the

process works. To learn more visit: childrenawaitingparents.org or call us at 1.585.232.5110.

PAINT WITH COLOR

“! One of our most frequently asked questions is what color do I paint to get ready to go on the market? We all know and have experienced that color just like anything in design has trends that come and go.”

“Blending even just a few rooms in with a darker color palette while weaving in lighter upholstery, rugs and objects can make even the most dated home look relevant!“

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

and challenging color scheme to overcome to become updated for today’s market is the Tuscany color trend! This very popular at the time palette includes reds, terracotta, green, dark brown and mustard.

All of these colors are beautiful and can be made relevant with the right

color palette while weaving in lighter upholstery, rugs and objects can make even the most dated home look relevant!

It is possible to update your home without stripping wallpaper and painting the entire house. Certain key areas such as the living room,

kitchen and owner’s suite are the most important. Secondary spaces can also have great impact. Don’t forget about the small powder room that might be the most dated but the

Don’t be afraid of color. The solution to updating is not always to lighten and brighten but rather to appreciate what is there and marry it with current trends.

Every house is beautiful in its own way!

ART HAPPY HAPPY ART

Tell us a little bit about yourself and your background.? I grew up in a big, Italian family in Philadelphia and came to Rochester, NY in 1980 to attend the University of Rochester, where I received my B.A. in Anthropology. Sophomore year I met my future husband in Geology 101. We got married in 1988 and had two sons.

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO

I was an artist working out of my home studio so that I could also be home with the boys. In 2005, my husband was diagnosed with neck cancer which eventually took him from us in 2008, the boys were 12 and 15. After he passed away, I went back to work full-time in the retail world. I raised the boys and got them both through college, managed to keep our family home and I worked a lot of overtime! Fortunately, I worked in an art-related environment so I was able to build a strong network of artist friends and connections over the past 15 years.

How did you get started in the art world?

I have made art since as far back as I can remember! Growing up in the 60’s, I had Peter Maxx posters all over my walls and boxes filled with PaperMate Flairs and Magic Markers. We took class trips to the Philadelphia Art Museum and went to the Mummers Parade every year. My aunt and uncle owned an art gallery and art supplies store on Snyder Avenue in South Philly called Maida Art Center. I grew up going there on weekends, spending the day smelling the oil paints and playing with charcoal. My aunt really encouraged me, always sending me home with a kneaded eraser, a sketch pad and sometimes even a little piece of art. It was magical for me! So magical that I recently completed a pastel painting of the shop, which is long gone, and I had prints made for my family members.

When my boys were small, I taught myself how to really draw, I would practice while they napped and, later

as they got older, in my car while I was waiting for them to come out of baseball and basketball practice. I also took many local classes, studying with professional artists in town. This was what I was doing when my husband got sick, I had a studio in my house, I was the president of a local art group, I had completed a few pastel commissions and was in classes a few times a week. I also was a figure model for a local group of painters.

I had to put this all away once my husband died. I remember thinking to myself that I hoped someday in the future I would play with my art supplies again, but that the most important thing for me then was to make sure my boys were ok. I silently promised them and my husband that this would be my sole mission. The next 14 years of my life was committed to that promise I made myself back then.

What made you decide to branch out and start your own business?

A few years ago when I was 57, my boys were grown adults, all through with college and on their own, it had been many, many years since I had really created any of my art, and I began to suffer some health issues in my legs that made my retail job increasingly more difficult to do everyday. During the covid pandemic, I still went to work everyday because the online retail business for art supplies was exploding, so I did not have the experience of working from home. My health issues were pretty severe, limiting my ability to walk, but I just worked through them and managed the best that I could.

At that time, I had some serious conversations with my boys, my close family members and some best friends about my situation. It was clear that something had to change and it was even clearer to me that I was going to need to make that change happen! I made a plan. Along with my financial adviser, an entrepreneurial coach and the support of family and friends, I worked my plan to retire from that job when I turned 60 and start my own business with my art at the center. With all of the new social media technology available for advertising and promotion, along with the possibility of teaching classes both in-person and online, and then already having my large local network of artists that I have met over the years, I saw the opportunity that was right in front of me to make my old dream career of being an artist come true! And, I could do it while taking better care of myself and my health.

It required me to practice patience and discipline because I was working my plan a little every day, every week, every month, while I was still working my 45 hour/week job. As the dream got closer and closer, it became more and more tangible and real, until one day, June 8th, 2022, I woke up and I had a new job, a new career, a new life! I was the owner of Art Happy, Happy Art! AHHA!

How did you come up with the name Art Happy Happy Art and what is the concept behind it?

During the last year of the patience and planning of my business, I knew that I had to start carving out some time

“My aunt really encouraged me, always sending me home with a kneaded eraser, a sketch pad and sometimes even a little piece of art.”

in my schedule and some space in my house to start actually making art again. I decided to dedicate Saturday mornings to setting up a small area to make art and to just play…it had been so long since I had allowed myself the luxury of doing this.

OMG! Was I surprised to find that my old way of making art, where I produced very traditional, rendered drawings and tightly crafted pastel paintings, was not bringing me as much joy, excitement and giddiness as when I just let myself play around in an intuitive way with whatever supplies I felt like using that day! I could not stop and every chance I got, I was in my art room painting intuitively. When the time came to create my business IG and FB pages, I was so art happy making happy art that this just had to be the name of my business! Art Happy! Happy Art! AHHA! It was my own “Aha” moment for sure that birthed the name.

The concept behind Art Happy! Happy Art! AHHA! is pretty self-explanatory. If someone is looking for artwork that expresses deep angst, critical political views, or controversial social content, they probably will not be looking to my art for these. My art is celebratory and joyful, sometimes mystical and magical. The mission of my Art Happy! Happy Art! AHHA! is to help others to celebrate the joyfulness of life also, to make them smile and wonder, to help people to learn how to play again. After much heartache and loss, hard work and self-sacrifice, I learned to play again, joyfully. I want to help others to do the same.

Who are some of the strong women that you feel have inspired you in your journey?

This is a hard question to answer not because I can’t think of strong women who have inspired my journey, but because there are SO many! When I was widowed in 2008, I was 45 years old, had been with my husband since I was 20, and so much of my identity was as the other half of the couple that we were. Fifteen years later, I have more people in my life now who know me as the independent, strong woman that I am, and they have no idea who I was as the other half of that couple. Many famous women, and even more everyday local women in my life, have helped me and inspired me to become this woman that I am today.

The women who inspire me range from Michelle Obama and Jill Biden, to Anandamaya Ma, Theresa of Avila, Ann Lamott and Mary Oliver. Maya Angelou’s words blow me away and every time I listen to a mother or a young girl involved in a mass shooting at a school I cry at their sheer bravery to even speak to the world of their loss. There are too many well-known inspiring women to mention them all specifically.

And, then there are the women that are local to my life…some right here in Rochester, some in Philly where I grew up, and some spread out throughout the world, who have had a profound and personal impact on my life. Some have passed on, like my aunt who owned the art gallery in South Philly or my off-theboat Italian grandmother who taught me how to knit when I was nine.

Many, many women are a tremendous influence in my daily life and I strive to be the same for them, even the ones who have never met me.

What dreams do you have for your business?

My dream is that my business will make an impact on people’s lives in way that brings them joyfulness and connection to the creativity that lies inside of them. I see this happening with individuals who take my Intuitive Painting classes and I receive many comments from people in general telling me how my art brings them joy and happiness. My chakra designs are available at my meditation center and I know that these help bring peace and centeredness to people who participate there. This is such a good feeling to know that I can support myself doing what I love to do while positively affecting the world. I would love to collaborate with other artists with a similar mission as mine and bring this joy and creative exploration to groups of people, from children to elders, who could really benefit from it. I have not figured out yet how this will happen, however it is my vision for the future of Art Happy! Happy Art! AHHA!

What has been your biggest hurdle since starting Art Happy Happy Art and how have you overcome it?

My biggest hurdle has been managing severe inflammatory arthritis throughout my body while launching Art Happy! Happy Art! AHHA! There are days when my mobility is drastically affected by this autoimmune disease and I have to re-examine what I can accomplish and how I will do that. When I worked for someone else, I did not have the choice to manage my day with my own well-being and self-care in mind. Since working for myself from my home, I am now able to overcome this hurdle by staying flexible and listening to my body. Though I am generally up early, around 6 a.m., I do not schedule appointments,

“ I am working on some really exciting ideas for new classes I want to offer, including a next level Intuitive Painting Class, a Fabric Painting/Collage Class and a Basics in Procreate Digital Art Class.”

meetings or classes before 11:00 a.m. This has provided me with time each morning to let my joints wake up in a much more gentle way and I get a lot of work done during these morning hours while taking good care of myself.

Another adjustment that I have made due to my arthritis is looking at my business goals realistically. Our community has so many opportunities for showing our artwork, from small coffee shops to big weekend festivals. I would love to be able to participate in these regularly, however this is unrealistic right now given that these are very physically demanding ways to promote your art. So, I have found that I can promote my art in other ways that I love and that are much kinder on my body. In addition to social media, I teach classes at The Mill Art Center, The Brainery and The Assisi Institute and I spent last summer building my website which I maintain regularly. I am exploring creating online classes. All of this allows me to effectively jump over my health hurdles and keep moving forward with my business and my mission.

What do you feel are some of the qualities you provide that sets you apart from others?

I am a daily meditator and have been for 15 years. This provides me with an inner calmness and peace that allows me to respond, rather than react, to most of what life puts before me each day.

-When I know that a change needs to be made or action needs to be taken, I will get it done because I can actually see it completed. It may take time and I may even procrastinate at first, but once I see it, it is as good as done and it’s just a matter of the details needing to catch up!

Two recent examples of this are #1, I knew that I wanted to create digital art using a program called Procreate, but I had never even owned an IPAD. I bought one, spent a year doing Procreate tutorials and playing around in the program, and taught myself how to create digital art. I am now a digital artist, getting ready to teach a basic class in Procreate to others. And, #2, I knew I needed a website and I knew nothing about building one. I purchased my domain from Squarespace and then I spent my entire summer learning and building my website on my own, so that I could fully manage it myself. I knew that I would accomplish these two goals because I could see them completed, it was just a matter of my skills and knowledge catching up with my clear vision of them completed. I don’t know what this quality is calledvision with tenacity?

-I am both a survivor and a thriver.

-The world occurs for me in color! I recently had a routine colonoscopy and the nurse had the most beautiful head wrap made from African bright fabrics. I could not stop looking at it and talking to her about it. I can’t remember anything the doctor told me but I’ll never forget that beautiful head wrap!

-I see the “bad times” and the “hard times” in my life as gifts.

What is one thing people don’t know about you.

I know every single word to every song ever played by the Grateful Dead! What was the hardest part of leaving a full-time steady job and becoming a female entrepreneur? Not a thing. I was prepared, ready and

long overdue to leave my full-time steady job. I have not looked back once, and no matter what I have had to face since leaving there, I have trusted myself, my plan, my incredible support system, and the Universe. I have not been let down. For me, there was nothing about my full-time job that offered me the joy, ease and even financial security that I have now by owning my own business and working for myself. I now live in the present moments of my life and it’s very clear to me that when I was working at my “full-time steady job” I lived for the time when my “real life” would finally start. As I crept closer to becoming 60 years old, I kept asking myself, “If your real life hasn’t started by the time your 60, then when is it going to start?” What an eye opener for me! I had to start living the life I knew I was meant to live, regardless of the risks.

What is one piece of advice you have been given that you have never forgotten?

“Children are your heart out walking around. You’re going to catch them doing wrong things a lot. So, practice catching them doing something right…and let them know.” I don’t always remember this, but I try my best to apply this to people in general.

What’s the most important risk you have ever taken? Would you do it again?

The most important risk I have ever taken was choosing to remain in Rochester, NY with my young sons right after my husband passed away, and trusting that I would be able to support the three of us on my own. I had a big support system in Philadelphia where I am originally from and I could’ve returned there and had so much help in raising them. I knew that staying here was what was best for them, despite knowing I would

“Aside from my daily meditation time, the biggest inspiration in my life are my children, Kevin Sean and Brennan, and my daughter-in-law, Nicole. I am both in awe and humbled by the incredible human beings that they are.”

be relying mostly on myself to get them through to adulthood. It was the best decision I ever made and I would do it over again exactly as I did in a heartbeat.

How do you manage being an entrepreneur and your personal life?

I am still learning how to do this! Now that I make my own schedule, I’m finding that balancing working on the aspects of my business with downtime is not as cut-and-dry as clocking out of my old job and knowing I was not working and it is now the weekend. In addition, many of my personal contacts are also in the art world so conversations with them can jump from personal things like kids and grandkids to tips on promoting our art. It gets blurry a lot for me.

I have found that taking time everyday to meditate, take a walk, visit with a friend, etc. has helped me to learn to balance work and personal life. This is really what I love about working for myself, though. If I want or need to spend a lot of time working on a class prep or a piece of art or a project, I can. On the other hand, if I want or need to then replenish myself, restore my energy, or re-inspire myself, I can take the time to do that. I waited a long time to live the life that I love so I try to see my life now as a whole life, no longer strictly compartmentalizing my “work time” from my “art business time”. The two overlap so often and I invite that overlap, it reminds me how far I have come in creating a life I love leading!

What is your favorite thing about what you do?

My most favorite thing about what I do is teaching people, especially those who have very little to no art experience at all, to open themselves up to play. My

Intuitive Painting classes don’t require anyone to have any art experience at all. I teach the very same creative process that happened for me in my art room during those Saturday mornings that I set aside after all those years of waiting; it is the process of playing with art materials on hand and exploding with the joy and the happiness of just letting go and letting happen. I never imagined back then that I would someday be sharing this with others and that they would be so incredibly responsive and thirsty for this permission to play and explore and express themselves. I cannot truly put into words the joy that this instills in me every single time. I have many pinch me moments!

Tell us about your favorite job that you have ever had and why it was your favorite.

My most favorite job I have ever had, aside from what I do right now, was working in the dish room in college at the U of R! I worked the same shifts as my boyfriend, who then became my husband, and though we came out smelling unbelievably bad and we were covered in ketchup and spaghetti sauce, drenched from all the dish room hoses we used, we had a blast! I think it was because, like going out and dancing in the rain, we let go and surrendered to our situation. There was no escaping that we were going to get super messy-it was a college dish room! Food fights, hose fights, competitions and sliding around the wet floor like learning how to skate for the first time, we were always laughing. Even telling you this right now has me laughing out loud!

What inspires you?

Aside from my daily meditation time, the biggest inspiration in my life are my

children, Kevin Sean and Brennan, and my daughter-in-law, Nicole. I am both in awe and humbled by the incredible human beings that they are.

Creation and nature and sacred geometry, and the seemingly infinite ways that colors, shapes, patterns and uniqueness show up in the world inspire me.

And, people who believe in a world that works for everyone, where no one is excluded because of race, sexuality, gender, creed, lifestyle, ethnicity, or any other reason for exclusion, deeply inspire me.

What strategies did you first use to market your business? Do you use social media? What is your favorite platform?

I mostly use my Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn to market my business. I have had people purchase my work and sign up for classes from both IG and FB so I don’t prefer one over the other. I have a student who found me on LinkedIn. They all serve me well in promoting my art and my classes

I also direct people to my website all the time with my business cards which I carry with me everywhere, even on my long walks along the canal. I have found that business cards work really well for me. I run into people I know everywhere around town, and when I travel, and I have the opportunity to tell them what I’m up to now with Art Happy! Happy Art! AHHA! I give them a business card with all of my information on it and I find that people take them home and, at their leisure, they actually go and check out my website and usually sign up for my newsletter. I have a quarterly drawing in which you can win a free

“ My most favorite thing about what I do is teaching people, especially those who have very little to no art experience at all, to open themselves up to play.”

“ I have found that taking time everyday to meditate, take a walk, visit with a friend, etc. has helped me to learn to balance work and personal life.”

print or greeting cards of your choice as an incentive to sign up. I am building my website newsletter/subscriber list and this is another way that I advertise and reach out to people.

I am fortunate that the venues in which I teach also do a fantastic job advertising my classes and promoting my art! These partnerships are invaluable to me and I nurture my relationships with the individuals who run them.

What are you working on now? Where will we see you next?

I am working on some really exciting ideas for new classes I want to offer, including a next level Intuitive Painting Class, a Fabric Painting/Collage Class and a Basics in Procreate Digital Art Class. I am also exploring the development of online classes that I can make available on my website and other online platforms like Skillshare and YouTube. My sister sews and wants to see my designs as surface patterns on fabric so I am checking

this out, too! I have so many ideas for Art Happy! Happy Art! AHHA! I am looking forward to making them happen! You will see me next at The Brainery teaching Intuitive Painting, my April class is full but there are still spots in the June 27th class being held at Red, White & Brew right here in Rochester, NY.

SENECA’S SEARCH

“I’m a survivor, I’m not going to give up!”

BY HANNAH MCGOFF

SENECA’S SEARCH FOR A WARM AND COZY PLACE TO CALL HOME

I’m a survivor, I’m not going to give up!

Hello readers, my name is Seneca! I may have had a rough start, but I’m a fighter and I’m so grateful for the wonderful people who saved my life. I was brought to Animal Care Sanctuary by a kind-hearted person who found me in a bad state. When they found me, I was in a cold barn,

shivering and terrified. When I saw them reaching to grab me, I was scared as ever. The next thing I knew, I was in a box, then in a car, then there I was arriving at ACS’ door!

Once I arrived at ACS, the clinic took me in and evaluated my health. I was so cold, the thermometer couldn’t even get a read on my temperature. I was visibly sick and dehydrated, but the clinic got me back to health right away! According to the team, I am just around a year old now! I still look like a tiny kitten, and that

may be because of my circumstances in the first year of my life.

I am a staff favorite here now, and I love to play whenever someone is willing to play with me. I am a little shy at first, but the second I warm up to you, I want your full attention! I want to thank all the kind people out there, just like the one who brought me into ACS, for continuing to care for animals day in and day out.

With love, Seneca

“The next thing I knew, I was in a box, then in a car, then there I was arriving at ACS’ door!”

“I am a staff favorite here now, and I love to play whenever someone is willing to play with me. ”

I live in Rochester, NY with my family. My passion has always been about the aging senior and their adult caregivers, helping navigate the healthcare and caregiving world as it changes.

Over the years, I have witnessed our Aging seniors and their loved ones work tirelessly to provide safe loving care and support in their living environments. However, as a caregiver, it becomes tricky balancing home, family, jobs, and caregiving responsibilities. In additionthere are so many unknowns–where to start, how to communicate, role changes/ reversals, resource needs, etc.

The list goes on and on and is unique to each individual family. Sometimes the aging loved one is close and in town, other times, they are out of town and need support on how, when, and where to start getting services. Sometimes, a caregiver just needs someone to advocate and cheer them on, as they work through the hurdles of being a caregiver.

That’s why I’m excited to share that I have started a new business where I am supporting adult caregivers and their senior loved ones during various stages and transitions through the senior years. This includes educating, 1:1 coaching, and planning for safety and relationship needs. I also provide guidance to finding and setting up community resources. Many seniors and their caregivers are unsure where to start, what questions to even ask and where to go for help.

What is Wise-Transitions and how was it started?

Wise Transitions started December

BY AMY SPRING I PHOTOS BY JULIE OLDFIELD

2022 because of the need for Adult Caregivers and Aging seniors in the community needing coaching, guidance, and education on where to start, where to find resources, and just how to navigate and transition into these new roles. The role of Caregiver can be wonderful and fulfilling yet so confusing. The aging parent or loved one is scared, frustrated and unsure what to expect and who to trust. Wise Transitions can support both the adult caregiver and aging loved ones during these various transitions and help come to a place of peace, love, and safety with respect and positivity.

What made you decide to open your own business, especially in Senior care?

I’ve always felt a calling to help and support aging seniors. Working with the elderly has been a passion of mine as long as I can remember. I saw a need in the community for support, coaching and education for both the aging seniors and adult caregivers to navigate various transitions as an aging senior and/or an adult caregiver.

What does it mean to be a Life coach for Seniors and Adult caregivers providing guidance, education and support?

For me, being a Life Coach for Seniors and Adult Caregivers is a humbling yet inspiring experience. People are aware they need support, are aging or are a caregiver, yet have anxiety, questions, and trepidation on where and how to start. Being a life coach for the Seniors and Adult Caregivers means I can provide tools, guidance, education and supports to make a positive difference during the transitions Seniors and Adult caregivers go through.

What do you feel is the real key to women empowering other women?

The real key to women empowering other women is a positive network. There is strength in numbers, and building a network of positivity, encouragement, and determination to help work through difficulties and celebrate successes. I also believe that COMMUNITY is another key. As a woman entrepreneur, sharing our gifts, passion, and skills to help and support our community only empowers others to do the same.

Did you always want to own your own business, or is this something that just evolved? What did you do prior to this career?

I have always wanted my own business, even as I studied physical therapy in college. As a practicing physical therapist, and then a healthcare leader, I recognized a need and missing component that wasn’t being offered or provided to our aging loved ones and the adult caregivers. The population is only growing with adults over 65+ and adults becoming caregivers. Now is the time for me to provide that coaching, education and guidance.

What do you feel are some of the services that you provide that are unique or set you about from other senior services businesses?

I believe Wise-Transitions is unique in that I can partner with the adult caregiver and/or aging adult and together create an individualized plan that will guide, support, and educate to their exact needs to transition to a place of safety, respect, and safety in their environment. There are many organizations that

“ One piece of advice would be to find a few mentors to surround you with positive energy, advise and coaching. It takes a village.”

.

provide the actual services needed or living environments; Wise-Transitions help determine need, find the exact services required and feel supported and not alone.

What are some of the pros and cons of having your own business, versus working for someone else, especially in the healthcare field?

Honestly, I have worked with many successful, passionate healthcare business leaders throughout the years. All of them have taught me many valuable lessons that I use today. It also has given me a large network of unique skills that I can connect my clients to. Having my own business allows me to use my own unique skills and passion to help aging seniors and adult caregivers navigate and find these resources, become successful as a caregiver and help aging adults feel safe, happy, and supported in their community and living environment.

If you could do one thing you have never done what would it be and why?

Actually, starting my coaching, consulting and educational business for aging seniors and adult caregivers is the one thing I would do. I am so excited that I have taken the opportunity because the reward of supporting these unique communities brings a smile to my face and a feeling of satisfaction of knowing I am contributing to a more loving and supportive world for aging adults and their caregivers.

What do you hope to accomplish with Wise-Transitions in the next

year? Three years?

In the next 1-3 years I hope to reach as many adult caregivers as possible and their aging loved ones, to provide education guidance and coaching to feel supported, safe and loved.

What is one piece of advice you have been given that you have never forgotten?

Do what you love, and you will never work a day in your life.

If you could pick one person that has stood out to you throughout your career, who would it be and why?

I had one dementia care patient, that was a SNF resident on a Dementia Care floor I was leading. This sweet, elderly lady taught me that love, purpose, and respect can still be instrumental during this stage. While she was confused, she loved music (Elvis Presley ) loved to dance and sing ( she unable to speak, but could “sing”, lol), and her smile would light up a room when she listened to music while helping to stir cupcake mix. Few things brought a smile to her face, but with a little determination we found music and baking to be a positive influence. Incorporating this into several activities throughout the day gave her some happiness, peace and I believe a sense of belonging. This was communicated to her family, which gave them peace, knowing their loved one was respected and loved. I think of her often, with a smile on my face.

What have been some things that have worked well for you in trying

to grow your business, and some things that have not.

Focusing too much on details and numbers does not always work. Of course, in business this is valuable. But what works well for me is to always focus on my WHY and my PASSION. My passion is to help seniors and their caregivers find solutions to be safe and loved during various transitions as they age. My WHY is to ensure every day I make a positive impact on the aging adult and adult caregiver community.

What is one piece of advice that you would give to another woman looking to open their own business, especially withing the healthcare industry right now?

One piece of advice would be to find a few mentors to surround you with positive energy, advise and coaching. It takes a village.

What would you say greatest is your area of expertise and why?

I would say my greatest area of expertise is coaching and empowering the aging adult and adult caregiver how to navigate the healthcare world and the changes and where to find resources to various adult aging and healthcare needs.

Have you drawn professional inspiration from other women in the senior care industry? If so, who and what have you learned?

Actually, I have drawn inspiration from so many women, it would be hard to narrow it down. But to be completely honest, my inspiration

“ My most favorite thing about what I do is teaching people, especially those who have very little to no art experience at all, to open themselves up to play.”

truly comes from past patients and their loving caregivers. They have taught me that through love, active listening, empathy and respect, any problem can be worked through to have a positive and peaceful outcome for all.

Where will we see you next? What are your plans?

You will see Wise-Transitions next on Facebook, LinkedIn, and various Wellness and Health Fairs. I hope to speak at different events in person and virtually to positively help as many

aging adults and caregivers as I can.

For more information visit wisetransitions.com

“ Wise Transitions can support both the adult caregiver and aging loved ones during these various transitions and help come to a place of peace, love, and safety with respect and positivity.”

5 REASONS TO REVIEW YOUR COVERAGE REGULARLY

BY ANGEL BUNCE I PHOTO BY LUKE LAPORTA

As an insurance policyholder, it is important to review your insurance coverage regularly.

Many people make the mistake of assuming that once they have purchased an insurance policy, they are covered for life. However, life is unpredictable and your insurance needs may change over time. Here are 5 main points that highlight the importance of reviewing your insurance coverage regularly:

Ensure Adequate Coverage: Reviewing your insurance coverage regularly helps to ensure that you have adequate coverage for your current needs. As you age, get married, have children, or acquire more assets, your insurance needs may change. You may need to add or adjust coverage to ensure that you are fully protected in the event of an unexpected event.

Avoid Gaps in Coverage:

Regularly reviewing your insurance coverage can help you avoid gaps in coverage. For example, if you have added a new driver to your household, you may need to update your auto insurance policy to ensure that the new driver is covered. Failing to update your policy could result in a coverage gap that could leave you vulnerable in the event of an accident.

Save Money: Reviewing your insurance

coverage regularly can also help you save money. As you review your policies, you may find that you are paying for coverage that you no longer need or that you could save money by bundling policies or increasing your deductibles.

these changes and ensure that you are still getting the best coverage for your needs.

Peace of Mind: Finally, reviewing your insurance coverage regularly can give you peace of mind. Knowing that you have adequate coverage and that your policies are up-todate can help you feel more secure and confident in the face of life’s uncertainties.

Reviewing your insurance coverage regularly is an important part of protecting yourself and your assets. By ensuring adequate coverage, avoiding gaps in coverage, saving money, keeping up with changes, and giving yourself peace of mind, you can be better prepared for whatever life throws your way.

Best Regards,

Angel Bunce Owner

Flour City Insurance

Agency

1260 Scottsville Rd Suite 202A

Rochester NY 14624

Keep Up with Changes: Insurance policies are subject to changes in laws and regulations, and insurance companies may make changes to their policies over time. Regularly reviewing your insurance coverage can help you stay informed about

585-861-2002 Office 585-851-1553 Cell 585-486-6219 Fax

Flourcityinsuranceagency.com

CREATURE TEACHER

Tell us a little bit about yourself, your background.

My desire has always been directed toward animals and wildlife education, teaching the public about the wonders of the natural world, working with and caring for native and exotic animals in an educational setting. I have a degree in Wildlife Biology and Veterinary Technology.Early in my career, I was in a position responsible for a variety of 45 species of animals and was the beginning of my need to educate as many people as I could to introduce animals including their histories. I was fortunate to have contacts that hired me as an animal handler on several national television shows such as The Morning Show, Good Morning America, Maury Povich Show and the Steve Harvey Show. I also was invited to appear on local TV programs including Channel 13 and a radio program in the Finger Lakes area. I love sharing my knowledge and stories about the animals I have worked with. So I started my wildlife education company, Creature Teacher.

My own animal ambassadors (including a North American porcupine, African-crested porcupine, legless lizard, Marine toad, Soft-side toad,Russian tortoise to mention a few) and I were invited to schools, libraries, nursing homes, private parties, and even a County Fair or two. As for many, when Covid hit, my trajectory changed. The pandemic

closed all the teaching/scheduling opportunities for Creature Teacher.

What made you decide to open your own business?

I wanted to invest my time and energy into something I love. I love all my animals and I need to be creative. I was able to build my vision instead of someone else’s and I was able to

smart enough to know where to best spend time to achieve results. Not to live in “status quo.”To strive to be unique and to go the extra mile to deliver quality.

What is the most rewarding thing about what you do?

When I sell a piece of my jewelry or artwork and I see the joy it brings people. This is my reward. I also get to see my creativity flourish.

How did you come up with the name Creature Teacher Jewelry?

Creature Teacher Jewelry is actually an off-shot from my wildlife education show. I wanted people from Rochester and surrounding areas who were clients to know I was expanding and evolving. I still have a porcupine, who naturally sheds many of his quills naturally daily.

What have you found to be the best way to promote your business and gain new customers?

see my creation grow.

What makes you hustle? What does the word “hustle” mean to you? What makes me hustle is the excitement of creating a product that is different and the ability to make people smile. Hustling gives me the freedom to dream bigger.

What hustle means to me is to be

I have been fortunate to have a great base of customers who support my new venture of jewelry which incorporates porcupine quills and semi-precious stones. I enjoy craft shows where I get to share my stories of life with porcupines. It isn’t just children who like to learn about these adventures and facts about porcupines.

In addition, I am currently have my

jewelry displayed at LaLa’s of Webster and with Holly-Wood at BayTowne Plaza. My artwork, is primarily of wildlife, done in ink and pencil, replicated as pictures and note cardsI am in the process of investigating various websites and am anxious to begin offering my products online soon.

What has been the best piece of advice you have ever been given? Keep your word and do what you say you’ll do. It shows your integrity.

What made you choose porcupine quills for your jewelry designs material?

I own a porcupine. I could never bring myself to throw away the quills he sheds. I have always thought the the quills were to beautiful to just toss, so I collected them. It got to a point where I knew I had to use them for something. He sheds just about everyday. I always fascinated by jewelry design, so I started learning how to incorporate quills into jewelry fashion.

When did you start your business, and who inspired you?

I officially started my jewelry business during the covid pandemic. I had the time to learn what works and what didn’t work as far as creating the jewelry.

My grandfather is who inspired me the most. He was a very creative and artistic man. I grew up watching and sometimes helping him do simple tasks while he created his art projects. He taught me to think outside the box to expand my creativity.

What is one thing you have learned being an entrepreneur?

Failure is not the end of everything, but the chance at a new beginning.

What is your favorite piece you have ever created and why?

Honestly, all the jewelry I make is my favorite. I maybe attracted to a certain stone I use but the jewelry I make is apart of who I am. My jewelry reflects my personality or mood as I create a design.

How do you come up with new design ideas?

All of my jewelry is unique. They maybe slightly similar in design but there are no two alike. I usually start with a stone or bead that I want to use. Once I have the right focal piece, I build a vision of how the rest will look. From there I just put it together. It is similar to a puzzle.

Do you actually have porcupines that live with you? What is that like?

I do own an African-crested porcupine. His name is Mr. Bean. He is the largest of the porcupine species. Bean is 45 pounds and about 30 inches long. I have raised him since he was two weeks old and he is now eleven. They live to be about 20 years old.

I have a porcupine because he was my star ambassador in my wildlife education show. I would never suggest that a person own a porcupine as a pet unless they are trained in exotic animal husbandry. That said, Mr Bean is a joy but keeps me on my toes. He can be mischievous. I am lucky with Bean since he has a great

personality and mild temperament. Not all African-crested porcupines are as friendly as Bean. He is affectionate, with a personality similar to a dog. Very smart, potty trained, understands a large vocabulary and enjoys a good game of tag where we chase each other. He is a gentle giant to his family and a ham when doing shows.

What is one thing people may not know about the porcupine, especially quills?

NO porcupines throws or shoot quills. This is a myth that comes from the North American porcupine whose quills are designed to easily dislodge from their bodies due to thin follicles and barbed quills. Porcupines will back into you or swat you with the strong tail when defending themselves. It is then that the quills get stuck into the skin. I also owned a North American porcupine. The Africancrested porcupine quills are not barbed. They are strong and very sharp like an ice pick, and are designed to impale a predator such as a lion.

This is such a unique idea. How long will the pieces last?

I wear the jewelry as well as selling it. I have pieces of jewelry that are four years old and are still looking great. The quills are very durable and easy to clean if needed.

What are you plans for your business over the next year?

My plans are to get a website up and running to sell jewelry online. I also am looking into new design techniques

“ Creature Teacher Jewelry is actually an off-shot from my wildlife education show. I wanted people from Rochester and surrounding areas who were clients to know I was expanding and evolving.”

“I have a porcupine because he was my star ambassador in my wildlife education show. I would never suggest that a person own a porcupine as a pet unless they are trained in exotic animal husbandry.”

FIVE WAYS TO FIND JOY AGAIN

BY KAREN PUTZ

Ever have one of those weeks/months/ years when one day blends into the next? If you find yourself buried so deep in the day to day activities with little or no joy blended in, it’s time for a pause.

We are not meant to grind our way through life without enjoying it.

Earl Nightingale taught us that we become what we think about. In his classic book, The Strangest Secret, this means that our thoughts have the power to shape our lives and determine our level of joy. According to Nightingale, most people do not have a clear and specific goal in life, and therefore they end up drifting through life without direction or purpose. To return to a state of joyous living requires us to direct our thinking and our focus toward the energy of joy.

If you have read my book, Unwrapping Your Passion, Creating the Life You Truly Want, you’ll recognize that the definition of passion is found in your joy. When we “try to find” our passion, we can recognize passion through our moments of joy. When you look back at your life experiences, note the moments of joy that are stored in your memories. Challenge yourself to create ways of bringing joy back into your life, using your joyful memories as clues.

Here’s an example:

If you look back in your memories and find that you had many joyous moments playing volleyball, what are some creative ways you can enjoy

volleyball again? Could you join a sand volleyball league with your friends? Could you set up a volleyball day for your co-workers? Could you volunteer to coach a local girl’s volleyball team? Could you set aside time to watch volleyball tournaments on TV? Could you design and sell colorful volleyballs?

There’s no limit to the creative ways you can bring back joy into your life. The key is to keep your focus on joy–rather than becoming lost in the day-to-day routines.

Here are five ways you can tap into joy in your life:

1. Engage in activities that bring you joy: Engage in activities that you enjoy, whether it’s reading a book, listening to music, painting, or taking a walk in nature. When you do things you enjoy, your brain releases dopamine, a chemical that is associated with pleasure and happiness.

2. Connect with loved ones: Spending time with family and friends can be an excellent way to bring joy back into your life. Reach out to old friends and reconnect again. Turn acquaintances into friends by spending time together and getting to know each other more. Being surrounded by people who care about you can help you feel supported, loved, and connected.

3. Practice gratitude: Practicing gratitude can help you focus on the positive aspects of your life and appreciate the things you have. You can start by making a list of things

you’re grateful for, and as you do so, you’ll begin to notice more and more things to be grateful for. Create a gratitude journal that you write in each day. Begin your mornings by thinking of what you’re grateful for and end your day with a reflection of what went well.

4. Take care of your physical and mental health: Your physical and mental health can have a significant impact on your overall well-being. Taking care of yourself by exercising regularly, eating well, getting enough sleep, and seeking help if you’re struggling with challenges. Focus on areas of your life in which you can joyfully experience positive activities.

5. Create Purpose: Recognize what is meaningful to you and what you can release from your life. Create a purpose which keeps you moving forward and gives you a strong “why” for what you do daily.

When you choose to live and work with intention rather than simply living by a to-do list, you’ll create moments of joy throughout your days–and those moments become the weeks/months/years of your life. Choose joy.

Karen Putz is known as “The Passion Mentor.” She is a certified Mindvalley Life Coach and Passion Test Facilitator. Karen helps midlifers create more joy, adventure, and fun so they can enjoy the second half of life. Grab the 22 Lessons to Live YOUR Passion at www. yourpassionschool.com.

VITAMINS & MINERALS

BY DR KELSEY LUNT

Our Second column is going to focus on other basic supplements commonly discussed and recommended such as Vitamin C, Zinc, Vitamin B, and Vitamin D. I will give you basic knowledge of these vitamins and minerals to help you understand what they do and how they work, and when they might be most beneficial to take. There are thousands of other supplements out there, so I decided to address some of the most commonly taken and prescribed in order to function as a guide. As always, consult your healthcare provider regarding any changes in supplementation or health history!

Vitamin C is very well-known as an immune booster and is often recommended during cold and flu season. Vitamin C helps the immune response by bringing necessary blood cells to the site of an infection and helping to clear out free-radicals, which are the result of oxidative stress on the body. There are other benefits to Vitamin C than just aiding the immune system, however. Vitamin C also aids in the absorption of iron to prevent anemia and is necessary for the formation of collagen, which is found in our connective tissues. Vitamin C is water-soluble, meaning we excrete any excess in urine though this also means humans typically do not absorb large doses in short periods of time. High, regular dosing of Vitamin C can result in canker sores, diarrhea, gout (due to increased uric acid levels), and GI upset, so doses greater than 3000mg/ day are not typically advised. Supplementing daily with a modest amount of Vitamin C is typically safe and effective, and

studies as recent as 2017 indicate that Vitamin C deficiency was the 4th leading nutrient deficiency in the United States (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/ articles/PMC5707683/).

Zinc is another supplement commonly recommended for its immune-boosting capability, though many are unaware of all the other health benefits it has to offer. Zinc is a trace mineral found in the body that aids in many different biological processes, including aiding

to lower blood sugar and cholesterol in diabetic patients and protect against age- related vision loss. Zinc is most prevalent in meat like beef, chicken and turkey but is also found in eggs, nuts and shellfish as well as foods fortified with zinc. The recommended daily value depends on age, weight, lifestyle, diet, and other factors, but always take note if any negative side- effects result from taking a new supplement, as this is typically a good indicator that you are taking too much or are intolerant of the supplement you have chosen.

in fetal development during pregnancy, acting as an anti-inflammatory and antioxidant, and helping to generate new immune cells in order to fight germs, among others. Because only trace amounts are found in the body, it isn’t necessary to take large quantities of zinc and may actually result in some negative side effects like upset stomach if you ingest too much, though a small daily dose has proven beneficial for many different ailments. Studies have shown that taking zinc during illness may help to shorten the duration of symptoms and help you recover more quickly. Other benefits include its ability

Vitamin B is a water-soluble vitamin that acts as a catalyst for a significant amount of biological interactions within the body, meaning it is necessary for the reaction to occur. Water-soluble means that we will just excrete any excess B vitamin within our urine, which is why B supplements often contain 1000% or more of the Recommended Daily Value (RVU). There are various B vitamins each with different names you may have heard like Thiamine (B1), Riboflavin (B2), Niacin (B3) and Folic Acid (B6), as well as many others. Folic Acid is especially important in pregnancy, as it is necessary for the formation of the neural tube, or brain, in babies. There are many other clinical applications for B vitamins, such as recommending a B complex to patients lacking energy because B vitamins are essential for the production of ATP. Likewise, when taken together, B9 and B12 act as an all-natural anti-depressant. There are many other reasons Vitamin B is important, but this article is simply meant to provide you

with the basic knowledge and science behind some of the more important vitamins and minerals.

Vitamin D is the last vitamin on our list, and is also essential to many vital interactions within the body. Vitamin D is fat- soluble, meaning it will dissolve in fats and typically comes in soft gel form when purchased as a supplement. Fat-soluble vitamins are also found in lesser quantity in the body, so dosage is a little more important because it is possible to “overdo it” with fat-soluble supplements. There are two forms of Vitamin D; D2 and D3 though D3 is typically better absorbed. A typical dosage of Vitamin D is anywhere between

2,000-5,000IU/ Day, though people who live in areas with less sun like the Northeast may need more. Vitamin D is necessary for the absorption of Calcium in the gut to occur, which prevents a disease known as Rickets in children and Osteoporosis in adults. Vitamin D also plays a role in immune health and reduction of inflammation among its other roles.

The bottom line is that supplementation is vital even if you follow a regimented diet, because our food is not of the quality it used to be. This is especially important if you follow the typical American diet, which is extremely lacking in many of these crucial nutrients. Typically a

good quality multivitamin will suffice for the basic vitamins and minerals, though fat-soluble supplements are usually found in gel capsules and absorb better this way so may be necessary to take separately. Remember that not all supplement brands are created equal, so do your research first and always consult a licensed medical professional before making any major lifestyle changes!

“The bottom line is that supplementation is vital even if you follow a regimented diet, because our food is not of the quality it used to be.”

F i t n e s s :

“ o n e ’ s a b i l i t y t o e x e c u t e d a i l y a c t i v i t i e s w i t h o p t i m a l p e r f o r m a n c e , e n d u r a n c e , a n d s t r e n g t h w i t h t h e m a n a g e m e n t o f d i s e a s e , f a t i g u e , a n d s t r e s s a n d r e d u c e d s e d e n t a r y b e h a v i o r . ”

Too Often We Confuse Fitness With Health

I F Y o u H a v e H a d t r o u b l e :

* L o s i n g w e i g h t

* H a v e c h r o n i c b l o a t i n g , H e a d a c h e s & F a t i g u e

* H a v e b e e n t o l d t h e r e i s n o t h i n g w r o n g y e t s t i l l f e e l i l l

* H a v e p r o b l e m s w i t h h o r m o n e s , P M S O r

* h a v e b e e n p u t o n m e d i c a t i o n w i t h n o p l a n t o g e t y o u o f f

I ask you to think differently

T h a t ' W h a t I O f f e r A d i f f e r e n t p e r s p e c t i v e

FIND THE ROOT CAUSE OF INFLAMMATION TO HELP YOU RESTORE HEALTH

EXERCISE AS WE AGE

BY BETH PARRY

HOW TO MAXIMIZE YOUR WORKOUTS AS YOU AGE

Being physically active is essential. As we age, our bodies will start to decline. Many reasons will prevent us from a workout like we did when we were younger. Our stamina, coordination, muscle mass, bone health, and balance will naturally decline. This is entirely normal and expected. Maintaining our physical activity is essential for physical health and our mental health.

Maintaining a consistent exercise program has many benefits, including:

● Improved mental health

● Improved endurance

● Improved independence

● Improved bone health

● Disease management

● Improved cardiovascular health

This article will discuss the best ways to maximize your workout, improve your recovery time, and improve your overall health and wellness safely and effectively.

Increase your warm-up time:

Joint pain is inevitable the older we get. The best way to conquer your stiff joints is through movement. The better your warm-up, the better your range of motion without pain and discomfort. Another benefit to an extended warm-up is allowing your body temperature and heart rate to rise naturally. If you jump into a workout without your warm-up, it can increase your blood pressure and heart rate too quickly. An extended warm-up is a great way to prevent injury to your

joints, muscles, and heart.

Functional strength training: Functional strength training focuses on specific exercises to directly enhance the performance of movements in a person’s day-to-day life. These exercises include but are not limited to multi-planar movements. Functional strengthening exercises include coordination, strength, speed, and range of motion. A bodyweight squat with a dumbbell curl is an example of functional strength training. A squat can improve the functional motion of getting out of a chair, and having the dumbbells can improve the strength for picking up or carrying objects. Another function strength exercise is a lunge. Lunges will improve your ability to safely transfer from the floor to a standing position. The great news about functional strength training is it requires minimal equipment and space. You can easily do an entire routine in the comfort of your own home.

Balance training:

A fall can be debilitating to almost anyone. Throw in an Osteoporosis or Osteopenia diagnosis; a fall can easily break a bone and require a significant recovery time. A fall alone can create a fear of falling, preventing a person from living their fullest life. Studies show that just the fear of falling will significantly increase your fall risk. If you are not actively working to improve your balance, you are rapidly losing it. Balance requires our bodies to integrate and interpret signals from our eyesight, hearing, muscles, and joints (proprioceptors). As our

hearing and eyesight decline, our balance will follow. The good news is that, just like our strength, we can build better balance through the consistency of appropriate exercise routines. There are many ways to challenge and improve our balance through exercise. Balance exercises can include single-leg standing, dynamic balance activities, and agility training. A good balance exercise program will give you the strength and confidence to be safe in your day-to-day activities.

Posture

Each year, gravity sets in, and we develop wear and tear on our spine and joints. Lack of core strength decreases stability in our spine, causing postural abnormalities and back pain. We live in a world of computers, tablets, and cell phones which encourage forward shoulders and chronic neck pain. Add gravity to the mix, and you end up with postural abnormalities, decreased joint range of motion, and chronic pain. Exercising the posterior chain of muscles will improve your posture while improving your low back and neck pain. These exercises include rows, glute bridges, and neutral spine core strengthening. Neutral spine core strengthening is the most beneficial to protect your spine. Big rotational motions or crunching can put your spine at risk for injury. You can complete neutral spine exercises standing or lying down. Some great exercises include:

● Bird dogs: You are on all four of the ground. You lift your right arm and your left leg simultaneously. Keep your core tight and minimal moving

“Being physically active is essential. As we age, our bodies will start to decline. Many reasons will prevent us from a workout like we did when we were younger.”

in your back with each lift. Repeat on the other side.

● Planking: Planking is a classic core stabilization exercise. When done correctly, it can be one of the most challenging but beneficial exercises. You can modify this exercise by placing your hands on a higher surface like a table, countertop, or chair. Keep your neck neutral, shoulders over the wrist, spine straight, tailbone tucked, and core engaged.

Embrace your recovery time: Working out can stimulate inflammation needed to break down and build stronger muscles.

Unfortunately, as we age, our body does not recover as quickly as we did when we were younger. If we are in the chronic stage of breaking muscle

down and do not allow our body time to recover, we will stimulate chronic muscle pain and inflammation. There are many ways we can incorporate recovery time into our workouts.

Active recovery is a way to bring increased blood flow to the muscles for healing. You can do this through gentle movement, stretching, foam rolling, yoga, or tai chi.

● Stay Hydrated: Hydration is the key to improving healing in your muscles. Adding in Electrolytes can reduce muscle cramping and muscle soreness.

● Get Sleep: The best way to combat inflammation is sleep. Sleep is the time that our body heals. So get into a goodnight regime to improve your overall recovery.

The key to maximizing your workouts as you age is variety. Focusing on a blend of endurance training, strength, and mobility exercises is key. It is important to modify your workouts when needed. It is also essential to challenge yourself in a safe and productive way. A physical therapist is a great way to start. A physical therapist can help you develop an appropriate exercise program that meets your needs and goals. Wellness 360 offers a specialized team to develop an individualized program with oneon-one treatments. We offer multiple programs that offer modifications for most fitness levels. This includes physical therapy, wellness sessions, group fitness classes for disease management, and an online Wellness+ On-demand exercise program. For more information on Wellness 360, check us out at www. wellness360fitness.com

THE POWER OF PRESENCE: MAKING EVERY DAY VIBRANT

BY KAITLYN VITOZZI

I had a random cancelation in the middle of my longest workday of the week. I decided to embrace this by ordering a coffee from across the street. When I opened the app, I was upsold a chocolate croissant. It spoke to me. I thought, this is going to be an indulgent day. I could go for some buttery chocolatey goodness. I picked up my order and remember the crumbs getting all over my yoga pants. By the time I got back to my office I thought, damn it – I didn’t even taste my croissant! My moment of indulgence was gone. Fortunately I could move on from this travesty after laughing at myself but a younger me would have ran back to the store to try to recreate the moment or beat myself up over it.

A $3 croissant isn’t worth crying about. Odds are you might be overworked or overscheduled, so the precious time you do have with your family and friends, or even by yourself is just that – precious and limited. My yoga therapy practice sees so many parents and partners who feel guilty that they don’t have enough time with their loved ones, but when they do have it – their head is wandering, letting that monkey mind (as it’s called in Buddhism) rob them. Not being present is a conscious choice. Pause for a moment. Take a deep breath in and a long breath out. Take a moment and reflect on one incredible memory. Whether it’s a moment loaded with belly laughter, something incredibly sexy or a delicious meal, I would venture to guess you were present to it.

It’s easy to take something even as mindfully focused as a yoga class and tune out with the mind jumping around to your to do list, yesterday, an argument you’re replaying in your head, or next year. That everwandering monkey mind can pull us out of present and leave us foggy and disappointed instead of getting the full experience of something we love. Many think of yoga as just exercise, but this ancient practice actually offers us eight limbs and one of them is Dharana, concentration. Dharana lets you create a deeper connection to yourself and those around you by linking your mind and body in the same place at the same time. From a modern neuroscience perspective, we know the brain can’t actually multitask, it just task switches which can leave us sluggish and burnt out. It’s like scrolling through your phone and trying to talk to your spouse, how effective is the communication and connection? What if you didn’t have to say, “repeat that?” on a regular basis? How much richer would the conversation be?

I was read this at my first yoga teacher training, and it always stuck with me.

“Do not ask your children to strive for extraordinary lives. Such striving may seem admirable, but it is the way of foolishness. Help them instead to find the wonder and the marvel of an ordinary life. Show them the joy of tasting tomatoes, apples and pears. Show them how to cry when pets and people die.

Show them the infinite pleasure in the touch of a hand. And make the ordinary come alive for them.

The extraordinary will take care of itself.”

William Martin, The Parent’s Tao Te Ching: Ancient Advice for Modern Parents

So, how can we hardness the power of Dharana in everyday life? Here are some practices to try.

Using your five senses. This would have been an easy one to practice with the croissant. Looking, smelling, touching and then tasting – while hearing the crumble under my fingers - would have let me slow down and enjoy the moment. At a social gathering but your brain is somewhere else. Feel your feet on the ground. Look around and notice three things you hear and see, then focus on who or what matters there to you.

Meditation. Practicing meditation teaches us to slow down and focus. Whether it’s breath, mantra or a guided visual meditation, practicing tuning out the rest of the world helps you brain tune in to what matters.

Gratitude Practice. This one is particularly helpful If you’re having a hard time sleeping at night. Make a daily practice of writing down everything that went well for you that day. Not every day will be the day you get a raise or buy a new house. The simple things like great coffee, a call

“Meditation. Practicing meditation teaches us to slow down and focus.”

from Mom or a belly laugh should all go on there. Be specific, maybe even overly specific. Use lots of adjectives. This will start to illuminate all the little bits of amazing that sprinkle your day – that easily get overshadowed by the to-do list.

One thing at a time. This is one you can practice at work to make the rest

of your life away from work easier. Try to complete a task before moving on to the next. If that seems impossible, the next time you’re on your computer, complete the task on just one browser tab, before switching to another. It takes practice, but you can do it. It took me a lot of practice. Long term, it makes more time to enjoy your hobbies, and maybe even relax.

If you want to practice getting present, contact Kaitlyn at Penfield Yoga

Therapy to enroll in therapeutic group yoga classes, Kaitlyn@tozziyoga.com call (585) 200-7209. Continuing education credits are available for yoga instructors.

“Pause for a moment. Take a deep breath in and a long breath out. Take a moment and reflect on one incredible memory.”

GETTING HYGGE WITH IT

BY BETH PARRY

I was sitting at my desk on a Monday afternoon when my friend sent me a random text.

It read “I think you practice Hygge, and you don’t even know it.”

Weird right?

She sent me a link to a book called “The Little Book of Hygge” and simply said, “Let’s talk.”

I learned that Hygge (pronounced HOO-gah) means coziness and comfortable and is a defining characteristic of Danish culture. The Danes endure six months of cold and dark winters (think Jon Snow, Game of Thrones) and the rest of the year with rain. Despite this, they are considered the happiest people in the world. Their pursuit of cozy, comfort, and indulgence in the simple pleasures of life, are at the heart of Hygge.

In Denmark, this everyday happiness is achieved through candles and light. Candles are everywhere all year long; in schools, work, and all rooms of the house. Soft lighting is also essential. No fluorescent tubes or big overhead lamps for the Danes. They insist on soothing soft lights strategically placed creating a constant glow.

That is exactly why my friend reached out. She has been to my home so many times and always leaves saying the same thing, “It’s just so comfortable here.”

Cozy is where I am most comfortable; chunky cable knit sweaters, restaurants with fireplaces, big white comforters, and lots of pillows on the bed.

My favorite pair of sweats is old and loose around the waist. They match an oversized sweatshirt I borrowed many years ago and never returned. I put them on with gratitude that

After reading about the Danes and their mountain cabin, roaring fire cup of hot coca existence, it occurred to me that in my search for calm, I had forgotten to look in my own home. I have been getting Hygge with it all along.

Years ago, a friend from college came for a visit. I had just moved out of my parent’s home and got my own apartment. I was embarrassed by the old couch and hand-me-down end tables and was nervous about her visit.

To camouflage the lack of sophistication and aging rooms, I strung little white lights and filled jars with candles, placing them in the fake fireplace. I put a tree in the corner and hug white lights that had a dimmer switch, so I could set the mood for any occasion.

they have survived another washing. For years I read books on self-care, self-help, and self-improvement. I am over the idea that decluttering my dresser drawers will make me happy. My mind refuses to let me relax long enough to meditate, and I have no patience for yoga.

I felt like I was trying too hard.

My friend walked in and said, “This looks like Christmas town.” She went on tell me how happy the space made her feel. We stayed in that night, catching up on old college times, ordering pizza, drinking wine, and in the glow of my little one-bedroom, the flaws that only I could see went away.

We were Hygge-ing

My home today has tiny white lights, and candles in every room. Citrus and sage fill the air and every light switch has a dimmer.

Two backyard trees are adorned with

white lights. The subtle light brings peace to the end of my busy day.

My couch is covered in pillows and chunky throws. I light my woodburning fireplace often and get excited by the thoughts of backyard bonfires. There is always freshcut wood because even though it is messier and more work, it smells so wonderful and warm.

My Hygge home makes me feel connected to myself, and more hopeful and generally improves my mood.

Who would have thought that a string of lights, plushy pillows, and a roaring fire could ignite a surge of Dopamine, but thanks to the Danes, I know why at times I feel true happiness and contentment.

My ability to feel calm and complete has been there all along.

We spend hours dwelling on the past or stressing about the future. It is part of life.

Hygge won’t solve your problems, but it allows you to take a break from the clutter of life and appreciate the

simplicity of the moment you’re in.

Hygge-like moments for me happen when I roast a chicken in the oven. It reminds me of my mom’s Sunday dinners and how our humble

without waking him up. Sometimes my legs fall asleep. I listen to his snores, and it makes me happy.

The smell of my morning coffee is better than the taste or the promise of energy it will bring. The aroma means I’m moving forward, and ready for the new day.

I buy fresh flowers each week for the kitchen. Their beauty instantly lifts my spirits.

I lay with a big blanket and give myself permission to indulge in a favorite old movie. Feeling unproductive is ok.

I look out the windows of my living room in awe of the beauty brushed by the light of my twinkling trees and I give thanks.

Notice the simple pleasures that make you happy.

Being present is where joy lives.

home always smelled so good and welcoming.

When my dog falls asleep so close to me on the couch, I cannot move

“My home today has tiny white lights, and candles in every room. Citrus and sage fill the air and every light switch has a dimmer.”

“ My HYGGE home makes me feel connected to myself, and more HOPEFUL and generally improves my MOOD.”

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

BY DENISE “KARMA” CLIFFORD

As I sit here in my underwear drinking coffee on my birthday, and ask myself why I haven’t come up with a topic yet to write about, my phone rings. As I listen to one of my good friends sing to me I realize Just how great it is to be doing exactly what it is I am doing.

We talked for almost an hour and I expressed how I was just about to start my article, but had no subject matter. I felt like just winging it would bring thoughts to words and words to paper. She suggests I write about myself. I mean, that’s what I do anyway, but she added to utilize the whole scheme of the universe, and making choices for SELF, not being a people pleaser as once I was.

The universe is a funny thing, and it plays well with your thoughts when you toss them into the air like confetti. And I’ve been doing that my entire life. Coincidences may or may not be by chance, but it’s not by chance yet choice that I sit here surrounded by my 3 dogs admiring the icey rain out the window. Just a week ago I would have been cooking breakfast in town at a little place for someone else, but my role in the universe was to become sustainable here at home.

I tend to write and share about my roles in life and how the universe plays out, and it isn’t without prompting. I feel some things may happen when you’re ignoring your chance to manipulate your future. But most things are created at first

with Just a glimmer of who you want to be. A joke said out loud, a dream in the wee hours of the night. All to be either forgotten about and swallowed up by the universe or used as a blueprint for your next move in the game of life. I was born today, not to be ordinary or let my dreams be swooped up and landing on someone else’s door step. And me, left sitting stagnant to complain about a life I wish I had, or why can’t do this or that. No, I was born to overcome obstacles, to defy people’s judgments, and to fail so I could succeed. I’ve done all of these things at one time or another.

I recently had a conversation with a complete stranger who at first made me second guess myself. I joined a friend out for happy hour, and the woman to my right looked over and said “aren’t you supposed to be cooking right now?” I laughed as I wondered who she even was and replied that I did that already today. She went on to express her concern for all the changes I seem to make. Weren’t you the food truck girl? Didn’t you manage that place on the bay? Don’t you write a column? Didn’t you play roller derby? Aren’t you trying to open a dog business? All of which was yes. But who was this lady who knew so much about me? I’m still not sure, but living back in my small hometown it isn’t shocking when your life is subject to be talked about as if it’s some sort of comedy.

Just go back and read my past articles. I’m not shy about my misgivings, or hardships, nor about the glorious goals I’ve crushed. I put my thoughts out there and then like the hurdles on the high school track that I used to scale, I do the same in life. At first I second guess myself, but as soon as the shot goes off and I take that first step, all I see is the first hurdle. I don’t think about the next ones, not until I know I made it over the first one. And then, before too long the race is over and I’ve jumped them all. Just like my life.

So, I went ahead and schooled her on my ideals of not being stagnant in life. I refuse to live life like a local on a barstool drinking the same drink, talking the same talk. Watching as the universe snatches my dreams to give to someone else, and wondering why. Needless to say, she ended up understanding that I read the choose your own adventure books and made that my life. She was the gun fire that snapped all the doubt, and I took off running.

I wasn’t born to sit still. Happy birthday to me. 2/23/23

“So, I went ahead and schooled her on my ideals of not being stagnant in life. I refuse to live life like a local on a barstool drinking the same drink, talking the same talk.”

AS WOMEN...

BY LISA WAGNER

As women, we are beginning to understand how we have been suppressed, Oprah’s and controlled by a patriarchal dominated world. As we step into our newfound voices, there are so many areas that we find pushback and new levels of controlling efforts. Unfortunately, some of the pushback comes from fellow women. Su, so how do we recognize our own behaviors that are in need of change and creatively craft a supportive sisterhood?

Many of us have held jobs, where we were not only stifled by the powers that be, usually men, but also bye the women we work with. Work place cattiness is well known and often written off. We say, “that’s just how working in an office full of women is. “ What does it have to be? If we have begun to recognize her own power, why, as women, would we not want to help give other women a chance at growing into theirs, as well?

In reading about, and researching how the patriarch has shaped our culture and our mindset, it stands to reason that women would be fearful of losing whatever credibility they have. We are taught to be quiet, behave, and keep our nose down as others take credit for our work , or ignore our valid ideas and thoughts. When we see other women able to break through that, it can make us question our own validity. It’s what we’ve been taught to do for centuries. One of the few places were women have been able to powerfully make their mark, but yet or fail to be recognized either post humorously, or when they’ve made called too much noise.“ In times of war, art is the first thing that those in power go after. It is seen as dangerous to their

standing and their messaging. Women artists are often detained, assaulted or disappear all together. They know the power that we have. They are deathly afraid of it. knowing this, it stands to reason of that when we use our voices and our talents, nothing can stop us uniting in solidarity, would open up the world to amazing change.

Women are inherent, nurturers and problem solver’s. We seek fairness, kindness and loving solutions. Leading into loving ways, and means to constitute change, for the betterment of humanity is our greatest hope. Instead of seeing one another competition and move outside of male, hierarchy, constructs, we can flourish, and make a world for our children and grandchildren that feel safe, loving and excepting. We are the answer.

In our daily lives, there are endless possibilities in which we can find our creative voice to begin rectify the wrongs of the world. Leading ourselves out of fear, as I’ve said many times, before, allows others who aren’t feeling quite as brave to get their feet underneath them and take a step forward . Some of us are ready to lead, while others are worn out I need her help. We can be their leg up and their teachers, mentors, and nurture’s. My first experience was leaning into my art. I had left it behind to pursue a career that I thought would make me financially stable; accounting. I was miserable and was in an office filled with people trying to control me and tear me down. My college days and early workdays had me crying almost daily and feeling like I would never be good enough. It was a toxic cycle I had entered into in order to assimilate to

societal expectations. I know so many women who’ve done the same.

Ask yourself what would happen if you leaned into what gave you joy, and decided to make something of it. That something could create joy, not only for yourself, but for a world in desperate need of it. What you have to offer the world is unique and beautiful. It is necessary, so that the world may begin to heal And come back to love. If you are passionate about art, take classes or just start creating. Put it out into the world without fear or shame. There are people that need to see that and experience it so that it stirs more joy in their own souls. You could be the impetus for their own inspiration of doing something they’ve been running from, but no, they can’t live without. If you were a writer, or a poet, ask yourself what writing for 15 to 30 minutes a day would bring to your old soul? It may just be that you feel like you can actually breathe again. I know that’s how Art made me feel. This goes for any and all passions that we have. Becoming a healer, Yoga, instructor, and environmentalist, a Podcaster, or teacher. Possibilities are endless, and the universe is begging for you to please step forward it to your light and shine like the start knows that you are.

I recently listened to a podcast by Glennon Doyle & Cadence13 “we can do hard things“, where her gust spoke about, leaning into her indigenous roots and advocating for mother earth. Her talk with Glennon about her connection and all of our connections to mother earth was soul, stirring, and beautiful. it forced me to take a deep breath, stand

“Each morning, and whenever I step into my studio, I ask God to please help me be of service, and all that I do, all that I say, and all that I am.”

back and look at my own impact on the world and Heard Bierman. How could I also help institute change? How could I use my own powers and passion to inspire others to help save her? Our words and actions truly matter, and we need to start taking them more seriously.

If we put our energies into how we can be a catalyst for change, moving away from fear-based talk and actions, the shift and societal energy would be palpable. Just try to imagine for a moment what that would look like not only for you, but for future generations. But our actions, words and thoughts affect seven generations prior at seven generations subsequent from our own. Harnessing that and using it for good is our super comfort.

Each morning, and whenever I step into my studio, I ask God to please help me be of service, and all that I do, all that I say, and all that I am. That I may be open to being led by letting go of my own expectations, fear And plans for something better. It is opened me up to endless possibilities of using my work for the greater good. Mary and Williamson speaks about this in a return to love. How if we each chose to be of service, all the things that we wish and hope for would come easily

and abundantly. It allows you to come out of a lack mindset and into a state of flowing abundance.

As we begin to lean into our power, finding gratitude, and that which is going well for us, and the beauty around us, we again invite in more of that something better. We become catalyst for change that is positive and

Ask them. Do not be afraid to inquire or feel as though they will think less of you for not knowing. We all need to begin somewhere. Why not start today? Surround yourself with people who know more than you. And if you were one of the people that is asked to surround another, hold them up, applaud them for their efforts and remind them that they are enough. Become available to their growth. They may become your best ally and your biggest inspiration.

Now is the time for us as a sisterhood to stand up in our light and shine. Using our voices from a place of love and compassion, grace and kindness has no choice but to be successful. We can be the answer to all the else this world.

loving. When we see other women, struggling, inviting them in. do not gossip, work against them, belittle them, or be snarky and short with them. Instead, get curious. Ask them what it is they need to help them succeed. Then ask yourself the same thing. What is it that you need? Where is it that you feel, somethings missing and want to feel better about? Then look for people that are experts in that.

STRESS MANAGEMENT

BY BONNIE FLOYD

Undoubtedly, stress is a part of our everyday lives. There are so very many daily demands that compete for our attention. We typically juggle many different types of responsibilities, both at work and at home. On a regular basis, there are bills to pay, laundry to wash, groceries to buy, and gas tanks to fill. At work, we face important deadlines for projects, phone calls to return, and decisions to make. We may face the unique challenges of finding ourselves as members of the sandwich generation: we find ourselves torn between caring for our own children, as well as addressing the demands of aging parents.

How we choose to cope with this diverse range of stressors makes a critical difference for our physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Excessive stress levels are downright dangerous if they are sustained for prolonged periods of time. Our minds and bodies are well-equipped to deal with acute stressors that occur. They are much less prepared to deal with the negative consequences of high levels of ongoing stress. Sustained stress levels cause our bodies to hypersecrete cortisol, a hormone that allows our body to respond effectively to an immediate stressor. In turn, excessive cortisol levels are associated with a diminished immune system response. Whereas we may have minimal control over external stressors, we do retain control of how we choose to respond to such stressors. Placing our specific stressors into perspective makes a huge difference. Very often, the things that we find ourselves feeling very stressed out about won’t necessarily matter in the long run. As one popular book states, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.”

Women frequently have the tendency to place their own well-being at the bottom of their extensive to-do lists. We

typically serve as the primary caregivers for our children, whether we are also employed outside the home. Attempting to competently manage such diverse roles is very demanding. After all, we all possess finite resources. None of us has an unlimited amount of physical energy, time, or financial resources.

Very often, women neglect adequate self-care when juggling their home and work responsibilities. However, you can’t pour from an empty vessel. It’s essential to take the best possible care of ourselves, so that we’re able to competently fulfill the multiple roles that we face as women. Women sometimes struggle with feeling guilty for taking adequate care of themselves. They may erroneously conclude that doing so is selfish. Practicing good self-care is essential, as opposed to optional. If we have children, engaging in good self-care is also a very important form of role modeling, both for our daughters and sons.

An essential component of adequate selfcare is stress management. To prevent the development of more serious consequences, each of us needs to learn how to better manage our overall stress level. How we specifically manage our stress levels is different for each woman. What works for your friend, neighbor, or co-worker may not necessarily be effective for you. Some women relax by choosing to exercise, engaging in meditation, or practicing guided imagery.

There are several different strategies for achieving more effective stress management. One of the most important rests upon being fully honest with ourselves about just how much we can achieve in any given day. When we take on more than we can comfortable manage, our stress levels invariably rise. It’s not possible to

simultaneously be the perfect partner, mother, caregiver, employee, neighbor, volunteer, and friend.

Another effective method for improved stress management involves learning to feel comfortable with asking for help, whenever necessary. Our society remains heavily oriented towards the importance of individualism, as opposed to connectivity with others. Consequently, many of us struggle with asking someone else for help with completion of a task. We may view doing so as a reflection of some degree of inadequacy on our parts. However, we are all interdependent upon one another to some degree. Enlisting others’ help may serve to powerfully lessen our overall stress level.

Those women with perfectionistic tendencies are particularly susceptible to experiencing the negative consequences of high stress levels. This is true whether they find themselves facing demands at home, or at work. Perfectionism depletes our finite resources, since attempting to complete a task perfectly exhausts both our minds and our bodies; in turn, this creates an even high stress level. Consequently, women with such tendencies find themselves in a downward spiral.

A final method of effective stress management concerns our ability to say no to excessive external demands. We may fear disappointing others by turning down their request for assistance. Nevertheless, effective stress management demands that we fully appreciate the delicate balance between our demands, and

our capabilities of meeting those demands. After all, just how effective can we possibly be if we find ourselves over-extende

FINANCIALLY PLANNING

BY TERESA GALBIER

During this tax season, it is crucial that individuals and families take stock of their financial plans to help prepare for an unexpected disruption, such as caring for someone with Alzheimer’s or other dementia.

One in nine Americans 65 and older are living with Alzheimer’s disease – that’s more than 6 million Americans nationwide and more than 410,000 in New York state alone. The disease not only takes a tremendous physical toll on diagnosed individuals, but the costs associated with the disease can be overwhelming, putting economical strain on families.

Disease-related expenses can jeopardize a family’s financial security, and many loved ones make enormous personal and financial sacrifices as a result. The 2022 Alzheimer’s Association Facts and Figures report found that:

● In 2021, the lifetime cost of care for a person living with dementia was nearly $378,000.

● Average out-of-pocket costs for healthcare and long-term care services not covered by Medicare, Medicaid and private insurance is nearly $10,000 annually for people living with Alzheimer’s disease or other dementias.

● Nearly half (48 percent) of care contributors must cut back on their own expenses – including basic necessities like food, transportation and medical care – to afford dementiarelated care, while others must draw from their own savings or retirement funds.

● Nearly two-thirds of people incorrectly believe that Medicare

finances, both for the caregiver and the person with the disease.

● Start a positive discussion about finances. Bring in trusted family members or close friends for a discussion about what the person with the disease wants for the future.

● Avoid financial abuse and fraud. Individuals living with dementia have a greater risk of becoming victims and may struggle with making good financial decisions.

● Organize your finances. Conduct an inventory of your financial resources including savings, insurance, retirement benefits, government assistance, VA benefits and more. A financial planner or elder care attorney can help with this.

helps pay for nursing home care, or are unsure whether it does.

To help families navigate these and other financial challenges, the Alzheimer’s Association recently launched a free online education program, Managing Money: A Caregiver’s Guide to Finances. Tips from the program include:

● Plan early. There are many benefits of planning early when it comes to

● Create a backup plan. Designate a trusted backup agent for the individual’s power of attorney and consider designating responsibilities to more than one person.

Loved ones sometimes experience financial problems because they have to reduce their work hours or take time off to care for a loved one with dementia. As the disease progresses, caregivers may need to pay for services

or support for the person living with Alzheimer’s. Financial literacy is especially important for caregivers because it provides them with the knowledge and skills needed to better support themselves and others.

We encourage caregiving families to seek professional advice from a financial professional as there may be some benefits that can help. In addition the Alzheimer’s Association offers a

number of educational programs with more tips for caregivers. Visit alz.org/rochesterny/helping_you/ education/educational-programs for a complete list of free programs in the nine-county Rochester Finger Lakes region.

About the Alzheimer’s Association

The Alzheimer’s Association is a worldwide voluntary health

organization dedicated to Alzheimer’s care, support and research. Our mission is to lead the way to end Alzheimer’s and all other dementia — by accelerating global research, driving risk reduction and early detection, and maximizing quality care and support. Our vision is a world without Alzheimer’s and all other dementia®. Visit alz.org or call 800.272.3900.

“One in nine Americans 65 and older are living with Alzheimer’s disease – that’s more than 6 million Americans nationwide and more than 410,000 in New York state alone.”

SOUND BATHS

The Healing Nature of Singing Bowls

Imagine lying down on a yoga mat in your favorite, and everyone’s favorite pose shivasana. Your eyes are closed. You’ve been guided in a beautiful meditation and feel so peaceful and relaxed. Now all you need to do is receive the healing vibrations of singing bowls.

As the bowls are played you feel the vibrations moving through your body, your mind, and spirit clearing away the old, making way for the new. You fall into a deeper meditation perhaps even a trance. Memories may arise both joyful and sad. As you release these you enter into a blissful state.

As the session comes to a close, you come back to this earth plane feeling refreshed and ready to embrace your life! Ready to take on challenges, and pursuit passions.

You have just experienced a sound bath.

The healing affects of singing bowls have been used for centuries. Their origins are from Asia. Their most profound history is found in the Himalayas, Tibet and Nepal.

When combined with sacred Mantras and chanting, transformational healing increases. Some references suggest that, “Tibetan lamas and monks used these bowls for sacred rituals … that … were so spiritual in nature that it gave them the ability to astral project and travel into other realms and dimensions.”

Cool.

It’s important to note that in any meditation of transcendence, coming back to earth and being grounded into your physical nature is of utmost importance. After all, we are here to shift ourselves, each other and the planet into a harmonious vibration of existence. Therefore, we need to be fully present!

Singing bowls have become a popular

tool for alternative healers like myself, music therapists and yoga practitioners. They help clients to relax and focus on what’s truly important in their lives. They’re known to have a cleansing affect hence ‘bath’ by clearing out unnecessary thoughts, emotions and or beliefs.

What are they?

There are two different types of singing bowls: Tibetan metal bowls and Crystal bowls.

Tibetan Singing Bowls

The original Tibetan singing bowls were made with a combination of the seven sacred metals. Each metal represents a heavenly body or planet. Today these bowls are typically made of brass and copper which are lighter and more economical to produce.

7 Sacred Metals

Gold ~ Sun

Silver ~ Moon

Mercury ~ Mercury

Copper ~ Venus

Iron ~ Mars

Tin ~ Jupiter

Lead ~ Saturn

If you are familiar with the chakra system you may be wondering if these are linked to the seven main chakras. The answer is no, however the sound value of singing bowls are, especially in crystal bowls as we’ll discuss later. When I trained as a sound healer under Angela Amato, we used Tibetan Singing Bowls. These are to be strategically placed around a person as they recline on their

mats. The vibrations from the bowls penetrate the chakras and meridians of the person receiving the healing treatment resulting in energy balancing.

An individual can use them for self healing by placing one on the palm of your hand and striking it with a mallet, then circling the rim of the bowl. This creates the singing sound and healing vibrations.

You can try it for yourself. Hold the bowl in front of each of your energy centers or chakras and practice with a gentle strike followed by circling the outer rim.

Crystal Singing Bowls

My friend Irene Ingalls introduced me to the crystal version of singing bowls around 10 years ago. She opened one of the first Sound Bath establishments in the US called Seattle Sound Temple located in Washington State.

Crystal bowls offer an alternative way of creating sound vibrations similar to metal bowls. And - they’re aligned with the musical octave which is associated with the 7 main chakras.

Chakras & Musical Notes

G. Root Chakra

A. Sacral Chakra

B. Solar Plexus

C. Heart Chakra

D. Throat Chakra

E. Third Eye

F. Crown Chakra

They are usually made up of rose quartz, clear quartz and/or amethyst which are

“The healing affects of singing bowls have been used for centuries. Their origins are from Asia. Their most profound history is found in the Himalayas, Tibet and Nepal.”

all the most abundant crystals found in the earth. These singing bowls are typically larger and heavier than Tibetan metal singing bowls but they have the ability to be more closely in tune with the 7 notes of the musical octave.

My colleagues and I have been exploring the healing vibrations of not only singing bowls but of other sound healing tools like the crystal pyramid and tuning forks. We will be offering an evening of healing at the Penfield Arts Center on Thursday, March 9th.

The Music for Meditation and Yoga group that I am a part of includes crystal singing bowls as well as chanting. We have performed at the Assisi Institute and the Eastman Theatre with future dates to come.

• Obtain Relaxation

• Lower Blood Pressure

• Focus the Mind

• Instill Inner Peace

• Stress Relief

• Strengthen Immune System

With their calming and meditative qualities, singing bowls allow you to let go and relax. I welcome you to enter into this unique healing environment and experience a sound bath.

EVENT! Please join us!

Yoga & Meditative Healing with Sound Bath

Thursday, March 9 6:00 - 7:30 PM

Penfield Arts Center

2011 Five Mile Line Rd

Alana Cahoon is joined by Lisa Gates and Sharon Bader Easton in this unique combination of yoga, meditation and energy healing where you will gain access to your own natural healing abilities. The session opens with yoga asanas (postures) to open the channels of flow in your body. You will be led in a guided meditation to balance and fortify your immune system energetically. It closes with a unique Sound Bath where you can submerge yourself to completely relax and let go.

Alana Cahoon is a mindfulness coach and founder of Grow 2 B U,LLC and Being In Balance Academy. www. AlanaCahoon.com

“Singing bowls have become a popular tool for alternative healers like myself, music therapists and yoga practitioners. They help clients to relax and focus on what’s truly important in their lives.”

DRESS